We are all at the royal house today. Khotso is getting married tomorrow and the guys decided that they want to throw him a Bachelor party. We are not really acquainted with Remo yet. We obviously have met her and we think she’s awesome, but she is not as open with us as yet. So, we’ve gate-crashed the bachelor party to make sure that there will be no strippers.
We also decided to bring gifts and shower the newlyweds with gifts upon gifts. We even got Remo some lingerie. She will get it upon her arrival into the royal house.

“Guys, it’s getting late. Have you fetched the livestock we will need for tomorrow?” Mme-mofomahadi says as she walks in on us getting drunk and being stupid.
The guys jump up immediately and leave. I don’t know where they go.
The kids are playing within the house somewhere and we can hear the community singing outside.

Thabi, Tlali, Fifi and I are sitting at the bar and getting drunk. In walks Lineo. Looking nothing like the girl who used to accuse me of sleeping my way out of the township. My memory of this girl is not great. And she is from a very well-off family. Her father used to be very close to the government and his businesses were unexplainably well taken care of.
I’ll never understand people who were born with everything, lacked nothing and didn’t have to work hard for anything end up being everything they had no business being.
Lineo’s lips are crusty. She’s so skinny. She used to be a full girl – a size 38 of note – just how Ona likes them. She’s shaking. She’s wearing clothes that look like she picked them out of a dustbin after someone declared they no longer wanted them. Her braids look like they expired fifteen years ago.

“I clearly need to fire the gate staff. Are they not clear on who is cleared to enter these grounds?” Thabi says.
“Spare them their jobs, hle. You know how rats are. They just find their way in. That’s why we have rat poison and rat traps.” I say.
“Who exactly is this?” Letlali enquires. Fifi is also a bit lost.
“She who sells her kids and has probably come back for more money.” Thabi says.
They are still confused.
“This is Lineo Liale. She’s Rea’s and Mo’s mother”, I say.
They are so shocked.
“What do you want?” Thabi asks her.
“I’d like to see my kids. Please.” She says.
“Why? To leave them heartbroken and disappointed?” Thabi.
“They are my kids”, she says.
“They cried for you on their first day of school because you promised them you’d be there to see them off to school. Where were you? What about when they matriculated? Ona and I phoned you and asked you to come and attend their party to celebrate their matriculation. Were you their mother then? What about when we invited you to come with us for their university tour, orientation or even to pick their cars just to celebrate how well they are doing? Where were you, mme wabona?” Thabi is not about to make this easy for her.
Lineo just looks at us.
“Why are you really here, Lineo?” Thabi enquires.
“I want to see my kids.” She sticks to her story.
“Ke wena oe, Lineo? The girl who used to accuse me of sleeping my way out of the township? And wena? You slept your way into drugs?” I say.
“Oh my! Teboho. I thought that was you. You look different. Chelete yaMaboko did wonders for you, hey. You look different from the scrawly girl on a scholarship, exploring a world that didn’t belong to her.” She says.
“At least she knows what to do with money and she’s not a bad mother. What did you do with R500 000?” Thabi.
Silence.
Okay, so I’m the one who gets disrespected? Me alone.
“I’m glad I was scholarship. Today, I can stand on my own two feet. Ke mme. Ke mosadi. I’m a career woman. And I don’t trade in my cookies for a fix.” I say.
“Bonus points to the wholesome woman.” She says and rolls her eyes.
“Indeed. You had all the bonus points when I was just scholarship. What did they do for you? What did the money do for you? What did being an utter bitch do for you? It made you a bad mother? A drug dealer’s bitch?” I say.
She’s quiet.
“I’m so glad Linda snatched him from you when she did.” She says.
“She couldn’t keep him. She was always a placeholder.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“Just observation”.
“Well, if you knew what I knew…”
“I’d probably care more if you weren’t a struggling drug addict that’s about to beg her twenty-year-old kids for money just to get a fix. You don’t have anything about you that screams credible”, I say.
She’s quiet.

“Mom?” Mohato says as he walks into the bar. With all the guys following him in.
“Hey baby”, Lineo says and attempts to hug him.
Mohato is not responsive and Reahile looks quite pissed off.
“Reahile, are you going to acknowledge your mother?” Lineo says.
“How much do you owe him?” Reahile.
Ona walks in and stands in front of Lineo, Khotso next to him.
Mme-mofomahadi also walks in. She is a bit upset.
“Reahile… Mohato… I’m so happy you guys landed okay and you landed comfortably-
“The last you looked like this, we were thrown out of our own home and we slept on the sidewalk for a week. So, I know you didn’t come here to wish us well.” Reahile is brutal.
“So? Are you on the sidewalks again?” Mohato asks her.
She shakes her head then says, “But I live with him now. We have a child. Guys, you have a little brother.”
They are not moved.
“He took the house though”, she says.
Reahile walks out of the room.
“Reahile hle!” Lineo.
Gone! He’s gone.
“Grandfather didn’t help you out this time?” Mohato asks her.
She shakes her head and says, “He said his grandchildren are safe, so I can deal with myself.”
“So, why are you here, mama? Do you need money?” Mohato.
She nods her head.
“How much?” Mohato.
“Two million –
“Mohato, please give us space.” Khotso says.
Mohato takes one long look at his mother then he leaves the room.

As soon as Mohato is gone and bar door is closed, Ona slaps Lineo and Lineo is now on the floor.
To prove that we are all pissed off, no one gets up to stop Ona and no one even yells or begs him to stop. Not even mme-mofomahadi.
Ona is kicking her on the floor and she’s just crying, not screaming.
He finally stops.
She is bleeding. She is crying.

“I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t need the money”, she says after gathering herself.
Ona pulls a gun out on her.
Okay, now we are all on our feet.
“You came all this way to hurt my kids? They had done well with forgetting about you and moving on from how useless you are. Then you come here and –
“You can afford to help me, Ona. Why don’t you want to help me?” She says.
This girl!
Thabi walks up to them and stands next to Ona. She takes the gun from Ona.
Thank God.
She grabs a pillow and puts it in front of the gun then leans it against Lineo.
Lunatics! A couple of lunatics! How!!!!!
“What did I tell you when I gave you R500 000?” Thabi asks her.
Lineo is in tears.
“I’ll murder you, ngoanyana. I’m not moved by your thighs.” Thabi.
“You told me to go to rehab”, Lineo.
“I offered to pay for you to go to rehab. You told me you were not an addict. Look at where we are now.” Thabi.
Silence.
“I’m only negotiating with you because those boys do not deserve to have come out of your vagina. But here we are. So, I’m only giving you two options now. Rehab or a bullet?” Yoh, Thabi.
“Thabi –
“Why mara don’t people understand that I’m a queen? Ke mang Thabi wena?”
She sobs.
“You are done tormenting these kids. Done! Bullet or rehab?”
She cries.
“What about my son and my husband?” After God, fear drugs!
“It’s probably in their interest too that you either die or get clean.”
She cries.
Then she says, “bullet”.
The shock!
“Even if I go to rehab, it will take me a day with him to get back to this stuff. So, just put a bullet in me. You are right, I can’t keep doing this to my kids.”
Thabi stands up then says, “Car accident it is. The story to the boys is that we gave her the money –
“She got high and got into an accident. We’ll throw the body somewhere just outside of the boarder”, Maboko of all people says this.
“Just don’t make me suffer. Please.” Lineo begs.
“Oh darling, I have the honour of making my husband’s ex-pussy suffer. Why would I pass on that opportunity?” Thabi says, lifting her up from the floor and carrying her out of the room. The men follow her.
The rest of us are just here… just here…

…

It’s the morning of Khotso’s wedding. We are all here and dressed up already. The kids have gone with Mofomahadi to get breakfast. Us and our wives are recovering from a drinking night.
The bride is set to arrive within the next few minutes.
Khotso seems excited. His wife is beautiful. She is. And she keeps him on his toes – which fascinates me the most. She makes him nervous – imagine! Khotso of all people.

We drove out with Lineo last night. Thabi had mixed a drink and basically told her to drink it. We just saw her sleeping but crying – unsure of what was happening to her. Then we got to some dingy hotel, robbed a car, put her in it and let it drive. The car, without a person controlling it because Lineo was awake but unable to move, it got into an accident.
End of story.
We asked Thabi what that thing did to her that she was drinking. She said it attacked her inside, but it also paralyzed her so she couldn’t react in a way that would be torturous to us. We told her to start mixing that shit for us. That will definitely be our new execution style.

Thabi walks in looking sooooo…
There’s no way! A designer put that together for her.
“Who exactly is getting married? You or Remoletile?” Ona asks, and ot in a nice way. This is very inappropriate. I’m acyually offended.
“Don’t worry, I had her dress made too… the one we will be dressing her up in. Phela they must all see that the Mohales have style”, she says.
Thabi is not a normal person. She’s not. Whatever happened to a normal seshweshwe dress with a sanna marena blanket? That’s what all our wives wear. This stylish –
“Rethabile! You are a queen! You of all people have no business bastardising setso sa rona like this.” Mme-mofomahadi says, dressed like what she’s supposed to be looking like.
“Mama, ke –
“Go change! Now!” Mme-mofomahadi.
Thabi is not impressed. You can just tell that she wants to be herself. But if she still wants to be as powerful as she thinks she is, she wouldn’t dare disrespect Ona’s and Khotso’s mother in front of Ona and Khotso. That’s more dangerous than disrespecting Mme-mofomahadi. And she knows it.
So she goes to change.

We hear singing outside. We hear drums playing. We know that the bride is here.
The younger twins walk in dancing to the singing and drums like idiots. Lol.
Then they greet all of us. We greet and embrace them. Eish, they are about to find out the worst about their mother. Last night, we told them that she was given the two million that she wanted and she left.

It’s time for us to go outside and meet the singing. The children are with us and we are all singing as we approach the gate. I’m just waiting for the moment where we can eat and drink.
“Do you have a sweet?” I ask Tebza.
She opens her bag and gives me a slab of chocolate. She has an entire grocery bag in there. When did she organize?
“Mommy, can I also have chocolate?” Ruri.
“You and Bane haven’t had you two fruit for the day. So fruit first.” Tebza.
“We had fruit at breakfast, mama. I promise. Granny gave us all fruit and eggs and sausage and croissants”, Ruri explains.
Tebza gives her three smaller chocolates and says, “Go give one to Lefatselabarena and another one to Ntombi”.
Ruri says thank you, insists on kissing her mom. Tebza kisses her.
Then she goes to find the others.
“Can I have the fruit?” I ask Tebza.
She pulls out a Tupperware. She opens it. There are grapes in one compartment, sliced mango in the other compartment and watermelon in the third one. I take the lunch box from her.
I see Shaka also eating with me.
I don’t understand why only the kids got called for breakfast. We were drinking bathung! We need that food more than they do.

Before we know it, we are seated and there are speeches.
“Baby, do you have more food or fruit or snacks?” I ask Tebza.
“Bathung, Maboko!” She says.
I’m starving.
“Please”, Zithulele supports me here.
Tlali and Tebza look at each other and shake their heads.
Tebza whips out another Tupperware.
It’s sandwiches and chicken.
Zithulele, Shaka and I get up from our table and leave to eat in someone’s car.
I don’t understand why Tebza has a whole cooked kitchen in her bag, but I’m very thankful.

It’s a good thing we briefly ate food that was packed for Khabane and Ruri because we only ate at 4pm. The gifting, the speeches and the ceremony itself took way too long. We eat and there is soft music playing in the background. The street is shut down. It’s a royal wedding, so the community is invited to eat and celebrate. About three or four streets are shut down with tents, tables and chairs. People are eating and enjoying the wedding.

“I’m horny”, Tebza whispers in my ear.
“Let’s go home”, I tell her.
She laughs.
Khotso and Remo are busy thanking people, but I heard Ona say that he’s packed their things in the car already.
“I’m serious. Let’s go say goodbye, take our kids and dash out.” I say.
She laughs, but we get up.
We start with the newlyweds.
Tebza goes to Remo, hugs her and starts chatting to her.
I chat to Khotso.
“Congratulations, my man. You know this is the shit that makes us men, right?” I says.
We shake hands and hug.
“Thank you very much, abuti waka. We will be away for a few days. I have some work to do in Cape Town for the royal office, so I’ll just treat her to a honeymoon there as well.” He says.
“She better not say that to Tebza. I didn’t take her on a honeymoon”, I say.
“And I want it”, Tebza says and the four of us laugh.
“Congratulations, Remo.” I say.
“Ke a leboha, truly.” She says with a smile.
“Call me when you guys get back. We must do that lunch you promised me a long time ago”, Tebza says to Remo.
“I will. I know he’ll be neglecting me the minute we get back here because he will be leading and loving the beautiful people of this kingdom.”
“Trust me, if he’s busy, you’ll be twice as busy. We may not be officially and formally employed, but being married to these men is a full time job. You’ll have less time on your hands than the average employed woman”, Tebza says.
I’ve never looked at it like that. But, that’s very true. These women either have this calibre of amazing or they’ve gained it along the way.
“Noted. And thank you. Thank you for welcoming me. I was so nervous about all of this. But I’ve been received with nothing but love.”
Tebza smiles.
Khotso smiles.
I like this.
“I just need to chat to my dad quickly. He has to look after my NGO while I’m away. I’ll be available on my cellphone because it does get tricky for him, but I don’t have anyone else.” Remo tells Khotso.
“What NGO is it?” Tebza asks her.
No! We are not taking this on.
“It’s an NGO that focuses on making Tholoana Kingdom a sustainable kingdom. We try to make businesses look at alternative and more sustainable ways to operate so that our land is healthier seeing that so many people and so much livestock rely on it to survive. Then we also do farming and vegetable planting projects in poverty stricken areas to promote healthy and affordable food for people who cannot afford to eat Woolworths vegetables. At the moment, we are working on opening a sustainable vegetable and meat market to commercialise the farming and vegetable planting we do – hire the people in the community to work in the market – then open it to everyone to purchase. The money made there goes back into the projects.”
Shit! That’s good.
She giggles and says, “The commercializing part was Mohato’s idea. He says Uncle Maboko is coaching him well.”
“My boy!” I say and we laugh.
But fuck, that’s good.
“Reahile is helping me with the project, so he will be on the ground helping while I’m away. He will work with my dad.” Remo says.
“You could use our sustainable business team as well. We don’t have a CSI project in that team and I think this would be amazing. If Khotso could give us an hour, I can get someone on a call right now and we’ll be able to take over from you for the next couple of days. Upon your return, we can talk about our company investing and being a donor.” Tebza says.
I knew it!
Remo is excited. She looks at Khotso.
Khotso nods his head.
Remo and Tebza disappear together.

Khotso and I join the gents who are sitting together and talking shit. Then we see police arrive. No, these aren’t police. These look like –
“What did you do to Lineo?!” The scariest looking of these men asks me.
Oh hell! These are Lineo’s pimps.
“Who the fuck are you?! Coming into my house and in my land to ask me bullshit?!” Ona says, standing up to these men. Ona’s bodyguards are now standing in front of him with guns pointed at these men.
His bodyguards are pointing guns at us.
People are screaming and running away or hiding somewhere.
Fifi is the one who thinks fast and grabs all the kids. I don’t even know where she takes them. But now Tlali, Tebza and Remo are also gathering the kids and they are running one way.
“Lionel?” Reahile says.
The twins know such crazy people.
“Bashimane, join your mothers”, Khotso says.
“No! Don’t! These boys must know that you bastards killed his mother”, the Lionel says.
The boys are shook!
“We don’t know what you are talking about.” Ona says.
“She was last seen with you!” Lionel shouts at us.
“She came here to ask us for money. We gave her the money and she fucked off. What happened to her after that is none of our business. She’s been living with you all these years.” Ona says.
“BULLSHIT!” Lionel.
Our bodyguards and priests from the church are now here with us… led to our direction by Shaka. They have hectic guns too. We are all on our feet as well. These people are surrounded now.
“You are going to pay for what you did to Lineo”, Lionel says.
“Are you threatening a king, Lionel? On these grounds, that’s a serious offence!” Ona.
“What are you going to do? Kill me like you killed my wife?!” Lionel.
“Why did she need the two million, Lionel?” Reahile asks.
Good question.
He is quiet.
“Are you going to answer me?” Reahile.
“No”, Lionel.
“I put it to you, Lionel, that you did to her what we’ve witnessed you do to her for years. You kicked her out of her home and made her sleep on pavements while you used her home as a place to package and distribute drugs, telling her that it was her way of repaying you. And if she wanted you out of her house, she needed to pay you what she owed you so you could rent out space. And that fee she paid you increased daily”, Reahile.
Yerrr!
“SHUT UP, YOU UNGRATEFUL SHIT!” Ona has punched Lionel to the floor. Is this man crazy?
Now guns are pointed at Ona.
“Boys, join your mothers. Now!” Khotso says.
Remo is here.
Khotso loses his mind!
“Why are you here?!” Khotso.
“I was getting the boys!” She exclaims.
“If you get hit by a bullet…
REMO, MOVE AWAY FROM HERE! NOW!”
Remo seems scared.
Khotso is scary. But I understand.
“ALL THREE OF YOU! FUCK OFF! NOW!” Khotso yells at Remo and the boys.
Before we know it, the first gun shot goes off.
I fly onto Remo and the boys.
They fall easily.
I cover them with my body.
There are guns popping off everywhere.
“Boss, I got them!” A bodyguard says to me.
“Get them away from here. And make sure they remain unharmed!” I yell.
“Yes sir.” The guard says, giving the three of them bullet proof vests.
They wear them quickly and they all run off with the guard. Remo is even in heels. No comment.

Khotso and I take the roof, we shoot from up here. Anyone that doesn’t look like they are part of the church drops down like a fly. This idiot came here to declare war with minimal soldiers?! Amateur!
People are dropping down like flies. Innocent people. They are caught up in the crossfire.

After half an hour, the shooting stops. The army is here. The police are here. We’ve finished Lionel and his crew. Many bi-standers have passed away. We feel bad. Really bad.
“Are all the kids and wives okay?” He asks me.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know where they went.” I say.
“Maboko, we are not going to survive another death”, he says.
I pull his head towards mine and I say, “We married smart women and these kids have learned a lot. They’ve been dodging bullets since birth. We need to believe that counted for something.”
He nods his head.

We climb down the roof. When we get to land. Ona, Shaka and Zithulele are hand-cuffed. What’s going on now?
Khotso and I get cuffed as well.
“What’s the charge?” I ask.
“Shut up!” A cop says to me.
“Officer!” An old man next to Remo says. Remo is still pissed, but she’s here and the officers are saluting to the man next to her.
“The man has asked a very important question that is pivotal to his constitutional right. What are these men being charged with?” The old man says.
“Judge Sedibe… we have to take these men in for questioning.” An officer says.
Judge?!
“For what?!” Judge.
“There are some serious allegations that have been brought against them and evidence that has come to our attention that was left by Regodise Mohale. And this incident today –
Regodise again?! Fucken hell!
“Uncuff these men!” The judge says.
“Your worship, these men –
“Are they resisting arrest?!” The judge asks.
The officers look at each other.
“My daughter and I are witnesses to the fact that you wanted to take men into unlawful detention because you did not marandise them upon arresting them. In fact, you told a law-abiding citizen to shut up when he enquired why he was being arrested. Do you want me to say this in court?” The judge.
Silence.
“Uncuff these men!” The judge.
We are all uncuffed.
“These men will meet you at the police station with their lawyers. Thank you, officer.” The judge.
“Sir, these men –
“ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. THESE MEN ARE MY SONS. ONE OF THESE MEN IS MARRIED TO MY DAUGHTER. AND I REPEAT, THESE MEN ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!”
Silence.
This old man is very sassy for his age.
“Sedibe, am I late?” An old woman says. She looks like Remo. This is probably the mother.
“No my love. Or shall I say, advocate… the officers were just leaving.”
So Remo has a judge and advocate as parents? Re shwile!
But the officers leave!
“I assume you have VERY good lawyers”, the judge says.
We look at him.
“Letlali showed me what you are about to be brought in for. I figured you needed to see it and talk to each other before you went in. You’ll ride in one car and discuss. Mama. Papa. Thank you for your help. I’ll phone you later.” Remo.
She learns fast. I like her.
“Remoletile, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here.” The judge.
“I’ll be fine, papa. I love you, okay? You guys drive safely. I’ll phone you later.” Remo.
Remo hugs and kisses her parents, then they leave.
She picks up her dress and starts walking. Yoh, she’s still in heels. Bozza!
“Baby –
“If you EVER shout at me or speak to me like that again, you will be sorry.” She says, cutting Khotso.
She’s still mad about that?! We don’t have time for this.
“I was scared that –
“Khotso! I’m not a child. You don’t speak to me like that. Ever! If I can get my parents to do what they’ve done after I found out that the man I married and yelled at me in one day is actually a higher grade criminal, I don’t expect to be treated like a child.”
Silence.
She picks up her dress and walks on, rocking her heels as if we didn’t just fight for our lives.
I just wanted to ask if the kids and everyone was okay. But she’s not crying and she’s picking fights about a dumb yelling. If this is the most urgent thing she needed to get off her chest, then everyone must be fine.
“You’ll resolve this matter later, monna. Let’s get information from Tlali and deal with this.” Shaka says.
He’s right, but shame, Khotso is pissed.