“You know, for someone who has short hair, you spend way too much time on your hair everyday”, I tell her. She has routines upon routines for that short popcorn-looking hair of hers. Its nice. The edges are always on point then the popcorn part is where the hair is beginning to lock. But she has it cut every second week so it doesn’t grow longer. She’s stunning though. The short hair suits her beautifully. I just thought short hair was low maintenance compared to long hair. 
“Mapho, I’m almost done”, she says. 
I actually just sit on the bed and wait for her. She won’t be done anytime soon. Thankfully, today is our first day of lectures and today, class starts at 9am. It’s 8am now. I just wanted to be early. The walk to the medschool section is a good 45minute walk. We have a bus that can take us there – that’s how big this university is – but I just wanted to walk today and my roommate wanted us to gossip on our walk there. 

This campus is HUGE. Each faculty has its own MASSIVE section. Some people walk there. Some people jog there then get to class with smelly outfits – we learned this during o-week. Some people drive there. And some take the bus. 

“I asked a friend of mine to drive us to class today. I haven’t seen him in a bit. His brother passed away and we just need to catch up.” She says.
“How exactly will you catch up with me in the car?” 
“You’ll be part of the conversation”, she says.
“Let me start my walk. I’m not interested in meeting new people today.” 
“Why? Saving yourself for Thapelo the soccer captain?” 
“Seriously?” 
“Mapho, we don’t do varsity bastards. They are just looking to recklessly smash and pass… they want a hint of adulting without the accountability. Only girls that were never looked at by high school cool dudes settle for these people. The left overs go date high school girls. Us on the other hand, we don’t only do men who can handle us, but we do men that will bring us up a notch.” 
“So you setting me up?” 
“I’ve been invited to a braai. I’m bringing you with me. You’ll just meet someone who will keep you company at the braai… I’m the have sex at a party kind of girl and I’ve already locked down my agreement.” 
Modimo waka!
“Come!” She says pulling my hand, not giving me a chance to change my mind. 

We get into the car of…
Wait for it…
Reahile Mohale.
THE Reahile Mohale.
I actually froze when I saw him standing outside of his car, leaning against it. Then he opened the door for me. I was so confused. Vanessa had to push me into the car, then jump on top of him, tease him, then get him in the car. This girl knows hectic people. Where is she from again? I never really enquired. 

“Mapho, this Rea. Rea, this is Mapho. Say hi to each other.” She says. 
I’m literally just sitting in the backseat, looking out of the window and trying very hard not to be star struck. 
“Ujwang Maphodile?” Oh, he knows my full name. I just had to have the forward med-student as a roomie.
“Ke shup, thanks.” I say.
Vanessa looks at me like I’m ungrateful. I’m not forward like her. Not even Mrembula has such expectations of me. 
Vanessa saves the moment – I suppose – by saying, “So, where’s my person?” I’m assuming she’s asking her friend because I didn’t even know she knows people from the royal family… why would I know who her person is? 
“He’s around. He’s just busy with the wedding arrangements.” 
Wedding?!
“Our agreement still stands right?” Vanessa.
“Yeah. My parents will keep their side of the deal as long as you keep yours.” 
She hands me some piece of paper. I look at it. It’s an NDA. 
I look at her. 
The car stops. This is not –
Wait a minute!
“Vanessa, we have class –
“In an hour. This has to happen. Relax.” 
“Relax?! Relax?! O ntlwayela masepa wena. I came here to study. I don’t want any part of whatever shit you are involved in. You are making me sign NDAs now. I’m not even interested in what you are hiding!”
I get out of the car and I’m instantly stopped by hectic men-in-black. What the hell is this girl involved in?! Not only is she a forward med-student, she’s also shady as hell. I suddenly miss my drunk aunt and my non-ambitious cousins. 
“Maphodile please… I didn’t mean to ambush you like this. I should’ve been honest, and I’m sorry. It’s just… you are my roommate. And everything about my life is far from simple. I’m not just the girl next door that you can talk about. This next chapter of my life… I can’t have people in my life or around me that won’t sign this NDA. Since you are my roomie, you have to sign it because you’ll know things about me –
“I don’t want to know anything about you. I will happily go and request another room or another res all together.”
“I like you. I can’t learn about a new person anymore. I’ve learned enough about you to know that I can trust you. I just need you to trust me. Please.”
Some fancy car stops in front of us. 

King Ona Mohale, Queen Thabi Mohale, Moholo Khotso Mohale, HRH Phuthi Mohale, HRH Phindi Mohale and HRH Mohale Mohale step out of the car. I’m in so much disbelief! 

“This is her?” King Ona Mohale says.
This is her who did what?! 
Ey ey ey! I don’t want issues.
Vanessa nods her head. This girl better not be selling me to the wolves. 
“Re emetse eng hhe?! Let’s go.” Moholo Khotso says.
Yoh! I’m so scared, anxious and have goosebumps everywhere.
I’m just shoved into the car that I came out of, then we are now following some convoy to I don’t know where. Will I even make it to class today?!

–

I’m in the royal house!
I’m in the highest ruling house in this country!
I’m in the FRICKEN royal house!
Everyone is chilled except for me. 
I’m shaking! 
My palms are sweating! 
“Tswara! Down this and fucken relax.” The king says to me as he hands me a glass of what looks like whiskey. 
Will I get banished if I say no?
“I don’t drink, kgosi yaka.” I stutter.
“Then take this before you throw up all over us”, the queen hands me a glass of water… well, I think it’s water. I look at her before I accept it.
“Ke mmetse le tswekere. It will calm you down. Or do you prefer chamomile tea?” The queen.
“Mapho, just take it. Please.” Vanessa. 
Just so we are clear, I’m never speaking to this bitch ever again! 
I take the water and drink it. It is indeed water with sugar. 
“Dula fatse, Maphodile.” The queen says.
I finally sit down. 
Now Reahile Mohale as well as Mohale Mohale are sitting here with us. Teboho Seete – THE Teboho Seete is also here now. What the hell is going on?!
“I take it you have no idea whatsoever why you are here or what’s going on”, the queen.
I shake my head. 
“Vanessa is about to marry a prince. So, you can imagine why anyone around her needs to sign an NDA.” The queen.
I’m not even interested in which prince she’s about to marry. But again, ke kena kai?!!
“Mofomahadi waka, please excuse my ignorance. Fela, my understanding of setso sabasotho is that ha monna anyala msadi wahaye, they live together. If Vanessa will be moving into the palace, nna ke kena kai because I don’t live here?” I say.
“O bohlale. I like you. And your understanding of our culture is very correct. However, this marriage is a bit unconventional. Vanessa will not be living here.” She says. 
Okay, now I’m lost. 
“We will be putting the two of you in a flat. Don’t worry. It’s all paid for. You’ll be living there. It’s close to us. And it will appear as if Vanessa lives with the prince, and that yena and the prince love each other dearly.” The queen.
I’m so confused. And they see it. 
“Maphodile, ke nna Mohale. I’m the one who will be marrying Vanessa.” 
Okay…? Doesn’t explain this madness.
“I’m gay. But I cannot be public about it right now. I need a wife to maintain the optics and move all suspicion away. Fortunately, there isn’t any suspicion, we’d like to keep it that way.” He says.
Woah!
Woah!
Woah! 
Everyone sees my shock and how I’m unable to contain my anger, my shock and my irritation.
“Maphodile –
“Kgosana yaka… please… I haven’t signed the NDA. Please don’t tell me anything else.” I stop him right there.
I see Prince Reahile smiling at me almost. 
Prince Mohale walks up to me. He sits next to me. He holds my hand. 
“Please stop shaking. We are not animals. Le rona re batho.” Mohale says.
I don’t say anything. I cannot control my body’s shock in this entire situation. I honestly came here to come to school and build a better life for myself. I don’t need all of this.
“I’m in love with someone that I’ll never be able to show off in public… to marry and enjoy marriage with… I’ve accepted that I will not be able to love him out loud because he’s a man and not a woman, but I’d like to love him regardless. I’d like to love him without bringing heat to my family because I also love them, and they are good people. A prince being gay is not something that should be associated with the royalty bloodline of the Mohales.”
“I understand. But being gay is not illegal anymore. Your grandfather signed that right off many years ago.” 
“Theory and practice are very different. As a monarchy, we are not there yet.” 
“But wouldn’t you be the best person to pioneer it? Imagine how comfortable all the other homosexuals in our kingdom will be if their very prince can also live his truth out loud? And… honestly… who you love should never have to be a secret – especially when it doesn’t have to be.” 
“The kingdom is not ready. I’ve been gay all my life. You don’t think the people in this room have been trying all my life to see how this could work so I could love my person without any difficulties? We are still people. And when we love people, it hurts so much when we are rejected just because we share a beautiful love. My family has bent over backwards to help me, so I don’t feel less of a prince because of my sexuality. This is our only way. And we need your help. I need your help. I’m begging you. Please.” 
Okay.
I hear him.
I actually like him.
A lot.
Ke motho. 
Unlike this rubbish that ambushed me here.
“What would be required of me exactly?” I ask him. I’m not looking at any other person. He’s the only person that I’m prepared to talk to.
“Well, you’d continue to be friends with Vee.”
“We are not friends. We were just roommates. And seeing at how she just ambushed me, I don’t want anything to do with her when I leave here.”
“Please don’t be so hard on her. We didn’t give her much choice. We needed to make sure that we could trust you first. You have to be her supportive friend… her bridesmaid even… live with her… attend events with her so that when I show up with her as my wife, you show up with my lover… my actual husband.” 
“So you’ll have a husband and a wife?” 
“I’ll marry Vee for the cameras. But we won’t sign any marriage agreement. So we will not really be married. I’m already married to my husband. Vee and I will just have public appearances, show up to events together and have a social media presence and an overall media presence together. But with the real stuff, it’s my husband and I. She is being handsomely compensated and so will you. You’ll receive a salary from us above and beyond your benefit for education. You’ll go to driving school then we get you a car as well. We will make sure you are comfortable. We know you are not exactly close with your family so without your permission, we will not take care of them per say… everything will be yours. We will leave to you to decide if you’ll bring your aunt and cousins along the journey with you. And by journey, I mean the comfortable lifestyle. But you cannot discuss this with anyone. No one.” 
I look at him. 
I look at everyone here. 
I look at Vanessa. She’s giving me a begging face.
“Okay. I’ll help.”
Vanessa puts the NDA in front of me again, this time with a black pen.
I read through the contract. 
It’s super tight. It’s even giving them a right to kill me should I not stick to my end of the contract. The money they’ll be paying me for this agreement alone is R35 000 a month. 
I take a deep breath. I close my eyes then sign the agreement. 
I see smiles around the room. 
“Good. Your apartment is now ready, and your things have been moved there already. From here, you’ll go to the flat, get ready for the braai you have to attend. We have people there who will obviously take pictures and this is where the engagement will be announced. Both of you will be dressed and styled by professionals.” The queen.
“For a braai?” Me and my ignorant self. 
“You’ll be all over magazines, newspapers, social media platforms, the news… you really want to be there with your R10,99 clothes and bantu knots?” Why am I hating the queen?
“I have classes today.” Me.
“A tutor will sort you out this evening. You’ll see classes again tomorrow.” The queen.
I look at Vanessa. She’s no longer looking at me now. 
“Rea? Will you drive them?” The queen.
“Sure.” Reahile says.
The king, his two wives, Moholo Khotso, HRH Phuthi Mohale and Teboho Seete leave the room. After they’ve left, we leave, following Rea out. 

–

Our apartment is next level fancy. I even saw that big Velar car that Zaza drives. Maybe she also lives here. We have a three-bedroom ground apartment. It has a garden. Each bedroom has an insuite bathroom – which is nice.

My room… I have a king-sized bed in here and the bedding is out of this world. We have a domestic worker and a chef. What life is this?!
My cupboard is packed, but not with my old clothes… with new ones selected by this stylist. This is so weird. I need to phone Mrembula. But I can’t even tell him anything. I wish I had a bestie to tell this too. It’s too unreal. I guess that bestie has to be Vanessa whether I like it or not. 

We are now in the third room that has been turned into a glam room. All walls are mirrors. There’s lighting everywhere as well. And there are stairs of makeup and products. There are two glam chairs. One has my name on it and the other has Vee’s name on it. Also, I found the latest iPhone in my room, on my bed, as a gift from the royal house. These people are determined to make me a slay queen. They tried to put a wig on me, and I absolutely refused. I’m not a wig girl and I’m not about to itch all over my head or have my scalp smell like a goat’s ass just to keep up appearances. So, they are doing a long ponytail hairstyle on me. Our feet are being pedicured and our hands are being manicured while our faces are being painted right now. What blessings are these?! 

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you, friend. My family needs the money”, Vanessa begins.
“Aren’t we not allowed to just randomly talk about this? Especially in front of strangers”, me.
“I can ask them to excuse us”, Vanessa.
“We can’t, ma’am. We are on the clock.” One of the staff says. And honestly, I’m enjoying this, so please. 
“Look Vee, it’s okay. I’m a bit pissed off and irritated. I’m also not impressed that I’m missing the first day of lectures – the actual reason why I’m even in Taung. But it’s fine, I’ll adjust. I do forgive you. I just need to adjust. My whole life seems to have changed and I’m now exposed to people I never dreamed I’d even meet in my life. So… just give me time.” 
“I can accept that. Thank you so much, my friend.” She says. 
“Don’t you have friends? Other people you could’ve dragged into this shit?” I say. I hope I didn’t sound too rude. 
“None I can trust.” 
“And you trust me? You just met me.” 
“Actually yes, I really do trust you. I don’t know why, I just do.” 
I don’t know how to feel about this.

She seems messy and reckless. If she gets herself into life-changing situations just because she’s bored, then I don’t want her trusting me. I’m not a brave girl living on the edge. I’m the girl who tolerated a drunk grandmother, drunk aunt and forward cousins until university happened instead of running away or living with Mrembula then trusting that the next day brings hope. So please… I cannot take anymore of her quests in life or her flirting with danger. 
We finish our session, and we get dressed up. 
I get dressed up in purple high waist pants that have a purple thick belt. I wear a white boob-tube tucked into the pants. The boobtube hugs my boobs so perfectly. I wear a Rhodium Diamond Miami Chain necklace. It’s stunning, heavy and expensive. I wear diamonds earring studs. I wear white block sandal heels. Lord! They are so comfortable! Yoh! Well, I’ve never had a pair of heels that cost more than R200 and they were never comfortable. These are sooooo comfortable!!! And my feet look stunning in them. I can’t believe we look and smell this expensive for braais. I look casual but gorgeous. Modimo waka! Ke nna MmaBontse! 

I head to the kitchen to get something to drink while I wait for Mohale’s fiancé-to-be to finish getting ready. I bump into Reahile on his phone while spinning on the kitchen stools in here. 
“Are you our dedicated driver or something?” I ask him.
He turns around and looks at me. He freezes. I know I look gorgeous. I’d stop and stare at me too. 
“You are beautiful”, he says.
“Thank you. So, why are you always around us?” I ask. 
He laughs then says, “You don’t want me around?” 
“I’d just imagine that you’d have better things to do than babysit us.” 
“Well, wang’chaza. I like being around you.”
“Oh please! Don’t tell me that you have feelings for me now. Please.” 
“And if I do?” 
“Reahile, you do realise that your family is the royal family, and the spotlight is always on you, right?” 
“So?”
“So, I know that you are married. So, this thing that you are doing is not cute. I’m not your chance at normal. I’m not your breath of fresh air. I’m just here to do what your family needs me to do because I happened to be the unlucky one to be roomies with an abnormal medical student. Let’s not make this what it isn’t.” 
He just looks at me.
I head to the fridge and grab a bottle of water.
As I turn around after closing the fridge, this guy is in front of me – practically on top of me – his arms are on either side of me, locking me in, but leaning against the fridge. He smells really good. He’s also tall. His chest is right in front of my face. He’s wearing denim pants, a crisp white shirt and white sneakers. He looks so simple but nice. You can tell that he’s missed a few days at the gym with his mkhaba nyana, but he’s not fat at all. 
“Why don’t you want me?” He asks me. 
“Because you are married. I don’t do married men. And you are a prince… my prince even… I’m not a forward girl.” 
“Don’t tell me about those things. Tell me things that are aligned with feelings”, he says.
“Excuse me?” 
“As your prince, I’m commanding you to tell me why you don’t want me by speaking to your feelings.”
I’m feeling weak neh… but…
“With all due respect, my prince, o ntlwayela masepa.” 
He can’t help but laugh. I push him away and head to a couch to wait for the fiancé-to-be. 

…

We finally arrive at this braai. It is hosted at Khanyisa’s and Khabane’s house. I arrive with Mohale’s husband, Drew Hycinth-Mohale. Yes, he’s Caucasian and extremely handsome. Him in beige chinos and a white shirt + Mohale in black chinos and a black shirt… sigh… what a waste. Such gorgeous men and none of this gorgeousness is for the ladies. I’m hanging on his arm like eye candy and he’s actually a cool date. He’s funny and so chilled. I can see why Mohale likes him. He’s spirit is so beautiful. 

We are chilling at the patio with people I’ve only ever read about… I don’t know them, and they intimidate me so badly. Vanessa seems to be rubbing shoulders with everyone here so well. 
“You know Rea asked me to put in a good word for him, right? And I’m ready to do right by my BIL.” Drew says to me. 
“BIL?” I enquire.
“Brother-in-law”, him. 
We both laugh.
“I’m not interested. I’m very flattered, but I’m not interested.”
“Okay… talk to the gay. What’s going on? Why is he the cookie you cannot be caught pulling out of the cookie jar?”
“Am I the only person who cares that he’s married?” 
“Yes, actually. Not even he cares. He hasn’t been living with the wife for over a year now. They’ve been over. They are just married on paper.”
“This family has a pattern of not taking marriage seriously. I’ve learned that in the five minutes I’ve been in it.” 
“Don’t do that. Don’t judge them like that. They are a crazy bunch that is definitely everything but normal, but when they are down for you, they are down for you.” 
“I hear you. I just don’t want to get distracted. I’m here for school. I’m already doing this part-time job of being your arm accessory and it’s already cost me the first day of lectures. I don’t have any room for anything else.”
“Well, with all the excuses that you have, you’d never have any room for anything else.”
“Seriously?!” 
We look at each other then giggle.

The food was nice and everything. When I see that there are no more cameras and people jotting down notes – and now that the engagement has been announced – I decide to go home. I’m tired. I want an early night so I can try school again tomorrow.