I’ve been locked up in my apartment with my kids for the past week. I’ve been fearful of stepping outside this door, in case he was watching us or he was right at the door just waiting for the door to open. 

But today, I decided that I’d take my daughter to school, my son to creche then go and see Senzi so he can tell me what is expected of me while I stay at this very nice apartment. 

I drop my daughter off first at her class then I drop my son off at his class. The teachers are so nice, and they receive us as if they’ve been expecting us. This place is too good to be true. But something relaxes inside of me knowing that my children are safe.

Now I make my way to Senzi’s office. 

This place is so big. I don’t even know where to start looking for his office. 

I ask the receptionist. She gives me an attitude and asks me if I have an appointment. I nod my head. I don’t have an appointment, but I do need to speak to him. And he said when I’m ready, I can just go see him at his office. 

The receptionist tells me to take the lift to the sixth floor. When I get there, I must follow the arrows that read “Snr Pastor S. Twala”. 

I follow the instructions and indeed, I follow the arrows and eventually get to his office. He is sitting in some lobby with a bunch of men – young men. 

He stands up immediately when he sees me. 

“Hi Senzi.” Me.

“Morafe. Hey. Come in, let’s chat in my office.” He says. 

I follow him into his office. He closes the door as we walk in. Then he tells some lady that he doesn’t want to be disturbed. I assume that’s his PA. 

“Can I offer you something to eat or drink?” He asks me. He’s still being nice to me after all the mercy that he has shown me?! I don’t understand. 

“Senzi, first and foremost, ngiyabonga for everything that you have done for my kids and me. I really really REALLY appreciate this.” I say.

He sits back on his chair, takes a deep breath then says, “You are welcome. This is what we’ve built this church to be.” 

“So how does all of this work, exactly? Surely, it can’t all be for free.” I say. 

“It depends on how you look at it. We live a life of service here. There are some rules for where you live.” 

“Okay?” 

“No visitors whatsoever.” He says.

“What about Wandi? I mean, she did all of this for me. I’d like to invite her over and say thank you.” 

“No visitors. No friends. No family. No one. It’s to keep you safe. The security guards there know who lives there. They have strict instructions to not allow anyone else in.”

I nod my head.

“And in the spirit of keeping strangers away, you have to keep your own apartment clean. We don’t allow cleaning services to go into that space.” 

He says. 

I nod my head. 

“We also don’t allow the use of cellphones. So you can make calls on campus, but not at the accommodation spot. Here’s a new cellphone that you can use. It has a new simcard and all. So you’ll share your number with whom you see fit.” 

I’m honestly so grateful and overwhelmed all at the same time. I think he can see it too. 

“Wandisa tells me that you work with her at times. Then on some days, you work with her dad?” He says.

I nod my head and say, “Yeah. I didn’t go to university. The schools in Tholoana Kingdom make us follow a particular stream of skills from grade ten in case you cannot go into university. I followed the Hotel Keeping and Catering stream. So my skillset is in managing hotels and managing restaurants.”

“Interesting. Well, we do have a hotel here on campus and a few restaurants. Maybe you can work in the hotel as an Assistant Manager and if you perform, you’ll get a promotion.” 

I’m beaming with excitement!

“Then from your salary, we will first pay the school for your kids, your rent to the church, then you get your take home package.” 

I nod my head. I really don’t mind. They’ve done so much for me already. 

“You can stay here as long as you need. You and the kids will obviously have to come to church every Sunday. Kids go to children’s church then you come with us.” 

I nod my head and say, “Can the kids be with me in church for the first three Sundays. I’m just not ready to be too separated from them.” 

“I hear you. But children church is strictly for them to understand what church is all about and why they’ve woken up to come and worship as well as give thanks and praise to the Lord. They’ll be extremely distracted in big people church.” He says. 

I’m a bit worried. 

“Morafe… they’ll be safe. You are all safe here. The security is tight. He will not find you here.” He guarantees me. 

“Where is he now?” I ask him. 

“Hillbrow. He’s living with another woman there already.” 

I don’t know why that hurts me so much. 

“Can I see Wandi? I just want to say thank you.” I say. 

“I’ll ask her to come by to my office. You two can meet here and catch up.” He says. 

I nod my head.

“Let me take you to the hotel so you can meet you colleagues. I’ll give you the rest of the week to relax. The hard work starts on Monday.” He says. 

We spend the afternoon touring this MASSIVE campus. It’s HUGE! Then I see the four-star hotel that I will be working at. The manager is really nice and she seems keen to have me on her team. There are three assistant managers, including myself. We will be working a roster. I will be working most day shifts because I have two small kids that need me home every night. Senzi negotiated that for me. I hope it won’t be a problem. 

Senzi tells me that I must never disclose where I’m staying. Even on the HR forms that I’ve had to fill in, I put in my address in Soweto. He says it’s for my safety. I’m fine with that. I then meet his parents whom I don’t like because I hate how they treat Wandi. They seem like nice people, but they judge Wandi so much and honestly, Wandi is the nicest person walking this planet. 

I have about thirty minutes before I have to get my kids from school. I go chill on some bench in the park and decide to phone my mother. 

“Hello?” She answers her phone. 

“Dumela mama. Ke Morafe. Le kai?“

“Morafe. Hello my baby. Whose number is this?” 

“It’s my new number. Please don’t give it to anyone.”

“Okay. Where are you and what’s going on?” 

“I’m fine, mama. I left Brian.” 

“Why?” 

“For safety reasons.” 

“And the children? Who’s helping you with them?” 

“I’m looking after them, mama. Don’t worry.”

“Why don’t you bring them to live with me? I can look after them. Then you must find yourself a very nice man who can definitely look after you.” 

That’s all that matters to her.

Agh!

“No mama, we are good. I just wanted to let you know that we are okay. If you need me, you’ll find me on this number. Please… just don’t give it to anyone.” I say. 

“Okay my baby. Do you need me to send you some money?” 

“No mama. Ke shup. I promise.”

“Okay my baby. Are you still coming home for Christmas?” 

“I’m not sure, mama. I just started a new job. If they give me some time off, I’ll come.” 

“Aowa Morafe! At least bring the kids. You all cannot be alone on Christmas. Aowa!” 

“I’ll let you know, mama. I have to go for now. Bye.” 

“Bye my baby.” 

I hang up. 

Now, it’s 4pm and I have to go and get my kids from school then we head home. 

They are both so excited to see me. I actually find them sitting together. Tshenolo is crying. 

“And then?” I ask Mosetsana. 

“He says he doesn’t like school.” My daughter tells me. 

“Why?” I ask. 

“Because I want to go home!” My son says. 

Mosetsana and I look at each other then laugh.

I take Tshenolo from her then hold Mosetsana’s hand. They both have their backpacks on their backs. 

We walk home together. We are busy chatting as we head home. 

We get to the gate and there is commotion. Brian is arguing with security. 

My daughter freezes. 

“Papa!” My son yells. 

He looks at us. 

“MORAFE!” He yells at me. 

The security sees the fear on my face. 

Security drags him away from us. 

“What are they doing to papa?!” My son yells.

I turn around with the intention to walk away.

I see Wandi and Senzi behind me. Wandi picks Mosetsana up and Senzi goes to the security with the police. 

“MORAFE! YOU HAVING ME ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO LOVE MY KIDS?! THOSE ARE MY KIDS, YOU STUPID BITCH!” He keeps yelling.

I’m walking fast and I’m walking away FAST. 

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, MORAFE! YOUR PROSTITUTE OF A MOTHER IS GOING TO BURY YOU!” He keeps saying. 

We find ourselves in Senzi’s office. My kids are scared. I’m pacing up and down the office. 

“He’s going to kill me, Wandi. I have to go back home. He won’t come to Tholoana Kingdom. He won’t touch me there.”

“Mo, hlala phansi. You are giving me a headache.” Wandi says. 

Senzi walks in with a bunch of guys. 

Wandi stands up and looks at him. 

“He’s going to be deported. He was here illegally?” Senzi says to me.

Oh yes, there’s that. 

I’m still breathing heavily. 

“Morafe, he won’t –

“How did he even find me?!” 

“I don’t know. But I’m literally going to drive behind the officials now and see with my own eyes that he is deported.” Senzi says. 

“I’ll be right there with him. Don’t worry, sisi.” His mom says. I didn’t realise she was here too. 

I’m just so scared. 

“You are safe at the apartment. Let us walk you there”, Senzi’s mother says. 

“But he found me”, I say. 

“True. But he didn’t enter through those gates. That’s the one place in life where even if he finds you, he will never be able to reach you. You need to go back. That’s the only way that we can guarantee your safety.” The mom. 

I look at Wandi. 

She nods at me. 

I pick up my son.

I hold my daughter’s hand. 

We are escorted back to our apartment. 

I bath my children then get them ready for bed. I’m still shaking. I hope he gets deported and never comes back to South Africa. Or even if he does, he stays the hell away from me. 

The three of us are still sleeping in one bed tonight. I think my kids are scared. Either that, or we are also used to the one room we used to live in with their father where we had to make it work in that space. Our psyche needs a lot of work, that I will admit. 

“Mama, what’s deported?” My daughter asks me. 

I look at her. I look at my son. He’s looking at me too. 

“You know that daddy is from Zimbabwe, right? And mommy is from Tholoana Kingdom. So these countries are outside of South Africa. For us to come and live here in South Africa, we need the necessary documentation to show that we have permission to be here. So mommy has those papers, but daddy doesn’t. That means he was living in this country illegally. He might have cheated the system and got in somehow without the necessary papers. This is South Africa. They are not as tight as Tholoana Kingdom when it comes to making sure that people are here legally. That’s why everyone comes here. But I suppose that when they find you, they take you back home. That’s being deported.” 

“So daddy went back to Zimbabwe?” My daughter asks me.

“Yes nana”, me. 

“Is he coming back?” My son asks me.

“I don’t know, papa. I think it’s just going to be the three of us for now.” Me. 

“Why? I want papa.” My son. 

“I know you do, papa. But for now, it’s just us three.” I say. 

My son looks like he wants to cry. 

Trust me, I want to cry too. 

“I don’t want dad to come back”, my daughter says.

I know what she means. 

“Why?” My son says. 

“I don’t like him. As long as he’s alive, he must just stay away from us.” My daughter says. 

“But he’s our dad”, my son. 

“I still don’t like him.” My daughter. 

“So is mommy going to get us a new dad?” My son. 

“No.” Me. 

My daughter and I laugh. 

“But everyone has a dad. Why can’t we have one?” My son. 

“You do have a dad, papa. Your dad is God. And he’s the best dad that anyone could ever have. So how about we pray to God to come and hug us in our sleep tonight? I’m sure we need the hug after today, neh?” Me. 

My kids kneel and we pray before we wave the night goodbye. 

…

It’s my first day at work today. 

Wandi was extremely hesitant about me coming to work here. But she must understand that I’m not just a church-mouse. These people owe me. This is just me cleaning the money I’m rightfully owed for the years that I did behind bars for them. 

“Mama, are you sure about this? Yaz that family man… Hai!” Wandi is asking me this for the 50th time.

She should have been a social worker. She just invests herself in people’s issues. I don’t know if she’s training to be a Mam’fundisi or what, but I wish she would be less of that mama everyone goes to in the township when they need help and more of a child. 

“Wandi, I’m going to be fine. By the way, when are you leaving with that boyfriend of yours to go on holiday? The two of you need it. You do way too much for other people. Hai Wandi, be a child nawe.” 

She rolls her eyes at me then throws herself on the bed. 

“We are leaving today. Mawuhamba nje I’m going to pack, bath, do breakfast with Khanya and Khosini then leave.” She says.

I like that she has such a lovely relationship with her brothers. Thandeka and Nkosinathi definitely did well with that. 

“Banjani vele shame bona? Especially now that Thandeka and Nkosinathi are divorced?” I ask her. 

“Khanya is fine. Khosini is the one who’s being a bit of a brat about it. He was even saying that his parents divorced so that ubaba could be with you.” She says. 

I look at her because really, how did Khosini reach that conclusion? I’ve been in jail. 

“Vele wena nobaba kwenzakalani?” She asks me. 

“Wandisa, I’m not in a relationship with uNkosinathi Buthelezi. The only thing that Nkosinathi and I share is you. Unless it’s about you, ayikho into esihlanganisayo.” I say.

“Hmmmmmm”, she says.

Now she gets up, makes the bed, opens the curtains and starts getting ready nje for the day. 

I say goodbye to her then make my way to work using an Uber. 

I arrive at this office park on this church campus. Laura meets me at reception. We shake hands and smile at each other. 

“Shall we?” She says to me. 

I follow her to some elevator. We go to the 8th floor. I’m led to some very nice office. As I step in, I see Shaka Maphumulo, Ntuthuko Maphumulo, Zithulele Khuzwayo, Ona Mohale, Khotso Mohale and Maboko Seete.

I’m not even intimidated by them. I don’t owe them anything. I went to jail for them and missed out on my child. If anything, they OWE me! 

“Gentlemen”, I say as I smile at them. 

They all smile at me. 

“Welcome back, MaNgwenya”, Shaka Maphumulo says. 

“The irony in here is overwhelming! The church in an actual church? This must be the highest form of blasphemy”, I say.

“Don’t tell me you went to an actual church inside prison now”, Maboko says and we all laugh. 

“Lalela MaNgwenya, we got your message. Laura told us about your conversation upon your first meeting. You know we don’t turn our backs on our own and everything that was promised to you is still yours.” Shaka says.

“Ngiyabonga Mashimane.” I say.

“And we know that we can trust you. You’ve proven that to us time and again.” Shaka. 

I nod my head. 

“So, your accommodation and your car are ready for you… in Sandton as you have requested… in the most expensive square meter in Africa. It’s two penthouses as requested – one for you and one for your daughter.” 

I cannot begin to explain the excitement in my stomach right now. 

“You’ll work here with Laura, but we will need you in and out of Tholoana Kingdom from time to time.” Ona says. 

I nod my head. 

“All the best, MaNgwenya. And welcome back!” Ntuthuko. 

“Ngibongile Mashimane”, I say. 

They leave my office. 

I need to get laid!

I’m even having ideas about Maboko Seete now. And I know he’d rather chew glass than cheat on his Mrs. Or is that a challenge I should take on? 

No! 

No, Maphuthi. We are not doing this again. 

I’ll get a man fair and square then smash. 

If all else fails, Nkosinathi ukhona. 

I spend the day doing useless things on my laptop. I have a whole team of people who do what I’m supposed to be doing. Phela for mina this isn’t a real job. And it’s bad, because I’m so so horny. Jesu! It’s been too long! I had an affair with the head of prison in my second year behind bars. But then it ended because he realized I just wanted his penis – not him! It’s been dry ever since. And I did fifteen years. 

Wandisa has updated me that she and Senzi have landed Cape Town. Good for them. 

You know what, I’m desperate. I wouldn’t do this nje, but honestly, desperate times call for desperate measures. I dial Nkosinathi’s number. 

“Maphuthi”, he says, sounding very exhausted. 

“Yini? Uyazivocavoca?” I ask him. 

“No. I just came out of theater. I was there all day. Ngikhathele.” He says.

Eish, will he even perform the way I need him to?

“Hmmmm, ngiyabona. Hopefully konke kubambe kahle.” I say.

“Hai, khona kubambe kahle. Wena u-right?” He asks me. 

“Ngi-right. Kodwa I need a favour.” I say. 

“Okay?” 

“I need to have sex, Nkosinathi. It’s been a long fifteen years. I don’t want a relationship or anything. Just sex.” 

He laughs. 

“Why are you laughing? This is an urgent plea!” Me. 

He keeps laughing. So I start laughing too. 

“You know your daughter told me that I better not even think about doing anything with you, right?” He says.

“She told me the same thing. But in all fairness, she’s in Cape Town right now having sex with her boyfriend. I’m starved.”

He laughs again. 

“So, will you sort me out or not?” I ask him. 

“I’ll send you the location of a hotel you can meet me at.” He says. 

“Don’t make it special. It’s just sex.” I say. 

“Noted.” He says. 

We hang up. 

I’m getting laid tonight! 

I leave my office and go invest in a full body wax. It’s painful but it will leave my body desirable. The only thing the waxing does is make my c-section scar beyond visible. My Wandi came through that. It’s a scar I wear as a badge of honour. 

I buy new underwear…

A sexy number for sure. 

I want my brains blown out tonight and I know that if there’s one person who can deliver on that assignment, it’s my baby-daddy. Why do you think Wandisa is so beautiful? Beautiful kids don’t come from bad sex.

When I’m done with everything, I see his text message. He wants us to meet at the Sky Hotel in Sandton. 

Okay. 

…

I’m in the hotel room, dressed in my lingerie. He is here too, staring at me and he’s completely naked. This is one handsome man. It should be a curse to be a Nkosinathi Buthelezi and be this good-looking. It’s not okay. Because he’s an asshole. He is a nonsense of a man – especially as a partner. But these looks… even you who knows all the shit that he’s done… you would give him a chance to serenade you. And when it comes to that, he’s very gifted. He will promise to take you to the sun and you will believe him and love the idea even though you know that as a human being, you’ll die on your way there.

I’m in his arms now. He’s kissing me. He’s making love to every part of my body with his mouth and hands. I actually start crying. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks me. 

I look at him. 

I just pull him in and put his penis inside of me. 

He takes one look at me, then he RIDES ME! 

I’m moaning and yelling like a prostitute. He’s groaning and swearing like he’s my pimp. 

I don’t even care. I need this. 

I’ve literally cum four times in this one round. When he finally cums, I’m shaking. 

We lie next to each other now, trying to catch our breaths. 

“I hope I sorted you out”, he says between his breathing.

“I’m kidnapping you for the weekend”, I say. 

We both laugh and definitely go for round two.

We leave this room at the end of the weekend. We’ve been locked in here having sex, eating and sleeping. 

I think I’m sexed up enough to focus again. Plus, Wandi comes back today. I don’t need her questioning me. 

“We should do this again”, he says to me as I get dressed. Yes, we even showered together and all of that.

“Be careful, Nkosinathi. I don’t need you falling in love with me.” I say. 

“I won’t. But I don’t mind fucking you on a regular. You’ve always known how to keep me satisfied.” 

I look at him and blush like a teenage girl. 

“We don’t mention any of this to Wandi. Please.” 

I say. 

“You’ve got my word.” He says. 

I nod my head.

“Sizokhuluma“, I say.

He nods his head then says, “umuhle MaNgwenya”. 

I smile, take my bag then leave the hotel room.