Today, mofomahadi takes off her mourning cloth. It’s quite unbelievable that it’s been a whole year since morena passed away. It’s been an interesting year. Shaka and Fifi welcomed a baby boy who is now a couple of months old and Ruri’s favourite cousin apparently. His name is some bombastic Zulu name that makes a very clear statement – no seSotho blood detected in him. His name is Akwand’impumelelo. Imagine introducing yourself as “Dumela, ke nna Akwand’impumelelo.” If I were a chick, I’d laugh. Fifi just calls him Wande. So we’ve all followed suit. The only person who spews that name in its totality is Shak and the Maphumulo die-hards there in Mtubatuba. I asked Fifi if he has a seSotho name and she asked me where would that name fit on his birth certificate. I honestly had to laugh at her. But, these are the interesting things that keep her happy and hey, in the greater scheme of things, “Dumela, ke nna Akwand’impumelelo” is simply water off a duck’s back.
Mara it’s still funny as hell. I just have to laugh one more time before I let it go. LMFAO!

“Baby, we need to get going. Are you done eating?” Tebza runs into the kitchen with Ruri on her hip. They are both dressed up so nicely.
Before I can even reply to her, she yells for Khabane saying, “Khabane! If I have to come upstairs to get you, you will know me! We are late!”
She’s been under a lot of pressure lately. Her job has become extremely demanding. She’s the royal house’s fixer and that’s extremely difficult for her.
I still don’t know how she manages all of that and can still be my wife and the mother of my children.
“Baby, are you done?” She asks me again.
I’ve been done. I’ve been waiting for her.
“I’m done, baby. You need to get an assistant”, I tell her. I’m telling her this for the fiftieth time.
“I don’t have time to interview and train people to do what I do and how I do it.” She says.
“But you can’t carry on like this. I even feel like I’m losing you. And you haven’t responded to me about being CEO at my companies”, I say.
She gives me that look that only women can give you and it’s supposed to mean something.
“I’m waiting for an answer, Teboho.” I say.
“What do you want me to say, Maboko?”
“I’d like you to say yes. But if you don’t want to do it, a no will suffice so I can make a plan.”
She gives me a look again.
Ruri dives towards me and I take her from Teboho’s hip.
“Khabane!” She screams.
My poor son sprints into the kitchen saying “Nywe nywe Khabane! Nywe nywe Khabane. I’m here, mama. Stop shouting.”
I want to laugh, but I have to hold it in.
“I’ll klap you wena Khabane.” Teboho.
“No you won’t. Coz if you hit me, you will get arrested. It’s child abuse.” Khabane is on fire today.
“Voetsek wena! Fokof!” Teboho.
“Khabane, you don’t talk to your mother like that. Say sorry.” I intervene.
“Sorry.” He says. He doesn’t mean it. We just see it.
Teboho puts her hand on her hip, looks at us then says, “Is there something you all want to say? All you guys ever do is be nasty to me. All three of you. Why?”
Even me I’m included in this?
“You are always busy. And when you spend five minutes with us, you are just shouting at us. Nywe nywe Khabane. Nywe nywe Ruri. Nywe nywe baby! Why don’t you just stay at work where you are happy instead of always making us angry when you are home?” Khabane is so brutal. What has upset him so much?
“Khabane!” Me.
“But she asked.” Khabane says.
Teboho starts crying. Yoh, we should’ve just left when she was still yelling at us. Now we must talk. And it’s the uncomfortable talk. It’s the talk where we must search within for adequate answers, listen to kids disrespect us and call it them being vocal.
Teboho leaves the kitchen and heads upstairs in tears.
“Why is mommy crying?” Ruri asks me.
“Khabane, what’s your problem?’ I ask him.
“I want mommy to stop working”, he says.
“That’s not for you to decide.”
“Then don’t ask me what I want”.
“Ey wena! Who do you think you are talking to? What do you want to see?”
He is a bit scared now.
“Sorry daddy”, he says.
“I’m still waiting for you to tell me what your problem is”. I say.
“Mommy is not a nice person anymore. The house is more fun when she’s not here. When she’s here she shouts at us and it’s not nice… I don’t like it.” He says. “You know she’s been under a lot of pressure at work”, I say.
“You are under a lot of pressure all the time. You have a business. But you are not mean. If mommy cannot do the work without being nasty, then she must stop working.”
Hai, these kids have too many rights. I can’t wait for him to get a girlfriend, start having sex and doesn’t take things so personally. Teboho is my wife and if I’m not complaining, who the fuck is he?
“You can’t be a meanie to mommy”, Ruri says.
This one… you can just see that she’s going to show us flames when she’s a teenager and starts dating.
“Can we talk to mommy without being nasty? Tell her how we all feel then tell her what we would appreciate more from her?” I say.
Ruri nods her head.
“Bane?” Me.
He nods his head.
“Okay, let me go check up on mommy. After I’ve spoken to her, I’ll call you guys up. For now, eat your breakfast.” I say.
They agree.

I leave them in the kitchen and make my way up to our bedroom. The door is wide open so I walk in. She is not in here. I search the closet, negative. Before you think I’m crazy, it’s a walk-in closet with a couch inside of it. She loves sitting in here and reading. Weird, but she does. She’s not in the bathroom as well.
I make my way to her office. The door is locked. Okay, she’s in here and she’s having one of those “I need space” moments.
“Baby”, I say as I knock on her door.
She doesn’t say anything, but I can hear her crying.
“Tebza, come on. Open up, baby. Please.” I try again.
No response. Just her crying.
I slide down the door and sit on the floor. We are going to be here for a while. Are we still going to make it to the royal house at this point?

It takes Tebza thirty minutes to calm down and open the fucken door. I’m a bit irritated, but I appreciate that this is one of those situations where I have to hold my tongue.
I walk into her office. I find a couch and sit on it. I can see that she’s tempted to leave me in here, but she can also see that I’m irritated and she better not try me.
She makes the right decision. She comes to sit next to me.
“Tebza, the kids are adjusting to you being a hectic career woman. And while you expect them to understand that this is exciting for you, they also need you to understand that they still need you to be their mother. Ruri is still young. She’s easy. You can get away with me stepping in every now and then. But Khabane… it’s always been the two of you – even before I stepped into the scene. The two of you have always been tight. He feels like you’ve changed and the way he used to connect with you is not there anymore. He’s hurting. You come home and the shit that happened during the day at work affects you. You arrive here in a bad mood and you push everyone away. I can deal with it because I’m an adult and I can comprehend that change was always going to be inevitable. But the kids don’t get that. You are mommy. Period. And they want mommy at home.”
She starts crying again.
I pull her towards me and I hug her. I let her cry on my chest.
I see Khabane and Ruri walk into the study. They see how hurt their mother is. I actually don’t know what to do.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Tebza keeps saying through her sobs.
“Don’t cry, mommy”, Ruri says. She then hugs her mother. I see Khabane is also a bit hurt. But he doesn’t know how to be.
Tebza gets up and leaves the office.
Yoh, this is a lot.
I get a text message on my cellphone. It’s a link from Zithulele. Ten bombs have gone off in ten different cities in Kabila’s country. One of the bombs went off at an airport.
“Good work, chief”, he sends me text saying.
“We will have to keep them blowing. Or else he will come for us if we give him too much space to think.” I reply on text.
“On it! I just got confirmation that the next bombs will be going off in the next thirty minutes.” He replies on text.
I send him a thumbs up emoji.

Tebza comes back into the study. She sits next to me. I pull her to come sit on top of me. She doesn’t resist.
Ruri blushes, laughs and hides her face behind her hands. She always behaves this way when Tebza and I kiss in front of her or if we behave like a couple. It always makes us laugh. Bane says he’s used to us by now. He has moments where he also behaves like we shouldn’t be kissing and fucking, but we are consenting adults.

“Guys, let’s talk to mommy. What hurts us?” I start the conversation.
“Mommy, your work is busy now. All the time. And when you come home. You just shout at us. You don’t hang out with us like you used to. I can’t even remember the last time you laughed with us. We don’t like it.” Khabane says.
“Mommy, we really love you. We want to see you happy again. And you must shout at me nicely again. I don’t like it when you shout at me ugly.” Ruri says.
“Ruri, what’s shouting at you nicely?” I ask her because really, shouting is shouting. What’s nice shouting?
“It’s nice shouting when mommy says, ‘Ruri, why are you behaving like that?’ And then bad shouting is ‘Ey wena Ruri! And then you start threatening me in Sotho.”
We are all laughing at this, including Tebza. But Ruri has a point. When Tebza is really pissed off, the township in her springs out and the ratchet language spews out in all directions. But I love her so much. She’s my girl. The township raised her to be the only woman fit for me.
“I’m sorry Ruri. I’ll do better. However, little Madam… you are a moSotho woman. You must learn how to speak the language. You can’t just speak English through and through”, I say.
“I know sotho, mommy. I know how to say “Ke nna Ruri Seete” and I can say “Mama waka ke Teboho Seete, ntate waka ke Maboko Seete and abuti waka ke Khabane Seete”. Ruri is arguing her case here.
“They teach us at school”, she adds.
That’s one thing I love about our schooling system in Tholoana Kingdom. English and seSotho are the Home Languages at the school.
“Bane, I’m so sorry, my boy. For everything. Please forgive me.” Tebza says.
“It’s okay, mommy. But what are we going to do to make it better?” Khabane says.
“Maybe I’ll take daddy up on his offer and run his businesses then consult for the royal house with the aid of an assistant.” Tebza says. Even I smile because I’ve been asking her to do this for close to a year now.
I just can’t help myself… I kiss her.
Khabane and Ruri both protest, but laugh.
“We love you, baby.” I tell my wife.
“I love you guys, too.” She says.
“Can we please now get going? I’m sure Lulu is wondering where we are.” Tebza says.
I honestly thought we were not going anymore. Stru.

…

We arrived a bit late. The cleansing was done and the queen-mother had already been cleansed and took off her mourning cloth. Lulu told me that everything went well. We got hugs and greetings from everyone. The kids found each other and it’s just a party for them.
Fifi and Shaka arrive and I can’t help myself, I just sprint for Wande. He is such a cutie pie. He makes me want to have another child, but eish, I’m closed for business permanently.
He’s even excited to see me. He smiles at me, gets exciting and dives towards me. I catch him and I spin around with him, tickling him and having him laugh so much. Maboko is here in no time and he’s also enjoying this absolutely sweet baby boy.
“Maybe you guys must make another one”, Shak says.
“Yooooh!!! Nope, I’d rather take my Wande!!!!” I spin him around again and he laughs.
Oh man.
These ones are laughing.
“Seete, faka ingane la!” Shak says.
“Don’t you dare!” I say, pointing at Maboko.
We all laugh again.
“I want to go help inside. Should I take him from you?” Fifi says.
“No babe, I’ll have him. Can I have a towel? I’ll put him on my back when we get tired of each other”, I say.
She happily gives me a towel then leaves, heading to the house.
“Are you sure you don’t want another one? I don’t mind having another one. You know we love the process of making them.” Maboko says to me.
“Maboko, stop it.” I say.
He and Shak laugh.
“Seete, can I see you for a minute?” Shak says to Maboko.
“Okay, I’ll give you some space. Say ‘see you later, malume. See you later, baba.'” Me.
There are smiles and happy moments.
I leave with Wande.

“Mommy, bring Wande to play with us”, Ruri says.
“No, Ruri. He’s a baby. He will play with you guys when he is a little older.” I say.
“He will play with me and Rena”, she says.
“Ruri, no.” I say.
She sighs then runs back to the others.
“Ruri is so feisty.” Letlali says to me.
“Girl! I’m dealing with a pocket-sized adult.” I say.
We laugh.
“Where’s Thabi?” I ask.
“Somewhere being a queen”, Lulu says and rolls her eyes.
Letlali and I look at each other.
“Do we need wine for this conversation?” I ask.
“I’ll get the glasses.” Lulu.
“I’ll get the bottle.” Tlali.
“I’ll get Wande’s feeding bottle from Fifi”, I say.

As we Sip our wine and I feed Wande, we start gossiping.
“Thabi has been fighting with mme-mofomahadi since she was crowned queen. She reminds us every chance that she gets that she is the new queen and everything is just beneath her.” Lulu says.
“I’m not surprised though. She’s always been that way. A title was always going to make her worse.” I say.
“But Teboho, what is a queen? She’s busy with everything but going into the community and doing outreach work. I end up having to do that with mme-mofomahadi. These are her people. All her conversations are about making connections, making appearances, getting involved in political debates. While all those things are important, there’s an element ya-botho that she seems to be conveniently forgetting and that’s what I have an issue with.” Lulu.
“I’m pretty sure there’s some sort of punishment handed down to people who speak ill of the queen”, Thabi comes out of no where and says. She’s not even covering her head with a doek. What’s wrong with this girl?
We all look at her.
“I thought we were past the phase of gossiping about Thabi because we are feeling inferior”, she says.
“Thabi, uskari tlwayela hampi. Please.” I instantly say because she’s going there again. She’s going to that place where she pisses everyone off as if she gets paid for it.
She looks at us. Then she says, “Mohato Mohale is no more and Onaleruna Mohale is the new king of this kingdom. I’m sorry if I didn’t spend a year mourning as if this country didn’t need a leader. Things had to get done and you want to hold it against me that I got things done while everyone else was nursing broken hearts?” Thabi says.
“Who do you think you are?” Mme-mofomahadi is now behind her. Ona and Khotso are next to her.
Thabi looks at mme-mofomahadi.
“That’s my husband that you are talking about and this is my family that you seem to have turned into a project. How dare you! You haven’t even covered your head as a makoti in this home – let alone as queen – and you are standing here speaking nonsense about how we’ve chosen to mourn our father, our husband and our grandfather. I’ve had enough of you, wena Rethabile.”
Now we all look at mme-mofomahadi.
“Onaleruna, take your wife out of my house and back to the Sebata royal kraal. She will stay there for six months and she will learn how to be a queen and a royal wife. You tell the Sebata family that I sent her back because she has no idea what is expected of her and she’s more than offended this family on more than one occasion.” Mme-mofomahadi is not playing.
“Mama –
“And upon her return, Onaleruna, I want one of her cows that we paid lobola with back because we clearly paid lobola for a person who is missing the behaviour element of being a bride. I’ll take over her duties until she comes back.”
There is an awkward silence.
“I’m not going back to Merementse”, Thabi says.
“Rethabile, do you really want to go there with me?” Mme-mofomahadi says.
“You can’t bully me like this. My husband doesn’t have a problem with my behaviour and –
“If you could just shut up sometimes, we wouldn’t even be in this position.” Ona says.
“Ona –
“SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU KNOW I CAN’T JUST LEAVE YOU WITH YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE THEY ARE MESSED UP AND TRIGGER YOU. BUT EVEN IN AN ADEQUATE SETTING OF PEOPLE TREATING YOU BETTER THAN WHAT YOUR FAMILY DID, YOU FIND A WAY TO GET KICKED OUT! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Ona has changed. Completely.
The kids are all here with us now. Wande starts crying. I stand up and swing him from side to side trying to calm him down.
“I want this girl off my grounds for six months, Ona. And she doesn’t come back here without her family and a cow to fix this nonsense she’s created.” Mme-mofomahadi says then leaves.
We all look at Thabi.
“Ona, I can’t go back.” Thabi says.
“You didn’t think about that before starting shit?! What do you want me to do?”
“Protect me! Stand up to your mother. Do something either than letting her do this to me. You are the fucken king for crying out loud.” Thabi.
“Maybe you should go home and go learn some manners. If you can even speak to me like this in front of children, my family does deserve one of our cows to come back because you are an incomplete Makoti with that behaviour of yours.”

…

The school has been lonely for me since Maboko matriculated. He is now studying at the Tholoana Kingdom University and he is studying a Bachelor of Accounting Sciences degree. He’s always been a business and numbers enthusiast. His goal is to be a successful business owner one day. His parents have bought him his first business as a gift for matriculating with a Bachelor Pass and seven distinctions. They bought him a garage station that has a Reahile convenience store. So he works and studies because Maboko actually takes business very seriously.

Tiisetso has also started attending at her new school. She’s doing grade eleven again, but she’s absolutely loving it there. My mom has now stopped talking to both of us.

Maboko got me a meter taxi to pick me up from school today and take me to his apartment which is in another province. I will be spending the week of mid-term break at his place because we are going to have an abortion. I found out that I’m pregnant two weeks ago and he’s the first and only person that I told.
I wouldn’t say that our relationship has changed. We just don’t see each other as often as we used to, but we talk everyday and he comes home often, giving us an opportunity to spend time together. I have been to his place a few weekends which has made my parents extremely irate! My mom is at a point where she can no longer stand me or my relationship with Maboko.
Every time the twins go to spend the day or the weekend at Maboko’s flat, they fetch me and I drive down with them. But I will not lie, I am a bit intimidated. Maboko and I are at two completely different stages of our lives and it’s only a matter of time before he finds someone who is at that stage with him and I become the girl he left behind at home and only sees when he is at home for the December period.

I arrive at the complex that he lives at. I climb off the meter taxi with my school bag and my overnight bag that has packed my outfits for the week.
“Kea leboha abuti”, I say as I climb off the car.
He just nods his head then takes off.
I attempt to phone Maboko, but the security guard of the complex says to me, “Ausi, he left a key for you. Here it is. He’s gone to class, but he will be back as soon as his classes are done.”
I nod my head and smile saying, “Kea leboha abuti.”
I take the key and make my way to his apartment.

His apartment is nice. And it’s neat. Maboko has always been a fan of a clean space. I know he has a domestic worker that comes in three times a week to help me around here. Her name is MaMthethwa. She’s a nice old-ish lady, but I always get the sense that she judges our relationship a lot.
I put my bags down in the spare bedroom and get dinner started. It is already 4pm and I just know that he will be back after 6pm.

Now that I’m waiting for the food to cook, I switch on the TV. I find lipstick on the coffee table. So, it’s already started. And it’s not MaMthethwa’s lipstick because this is an expensive brand. I just start crying. This genuinely hurts my soul.
The food is cooked, so I switch off the stove.
I go to his bedroom and I open his cupboard. There’s actually a side of a cupboard here that is filled with women’s clothes and these clothes are not mine.
Yoh, Maboko!
I pull out all these clothes and put them in a refuse bag. There are even handbags here. And purses. I start opening the bags and purses with the intention to see if there is something that will show me who this person is. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this information, but I want the information regardless.
When I’m done searching a bag, I throw it in the refuse bag. I finally come across a picture and it’s a picture of Maboko and Linda.
This fucken dog!
I’ve seen all that I needed to see.

I walk to a dumping site with the refuse bag. The site is not far from the apartments. I dump the refuse bag there then set it alight. I’m crying because I’m hurt. But the betrayal I feel in my soul is unmatched.

I walk back into the house and I find Maboko dishing up for himself. I look at him. He can see that I’ve been crying.
“Hey baby”, he says to me.
Mxm! Fucken swine!
I walk past him and go into the guest bedroom. That’s what I am in this apartment – a guest.
“Teboho?” Maboko keeps yelling. I just shut the door and throw myself on the bed. I start crying underneath a pillow. I want to scream. I want to go crazy.
I hear the door open.
He sits on the bed, next to my legs.
“Teboho, what’s going on?” He asks me.
I just lose my mind! He’s treating me like I’m crazy akere? Let me show him crazy!
“YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME!”
He looks shocked. But he’s not denying it.
“”AND WITH LINDA OF ALL PEOPLE?!”
Now he’s terribly shocked.
I start throwing things around and something cuts his hand. He tries to calm me down, but I’m kicking him and throwing things around, so he leaves the bedroom and closes me in there.
Now I’m alone and even more FURIOUS.
I am breathing heavily and trying to catch myself before completely losing my mind.
I just breathe…

I slept in this bedroom. I don’t know where he slept and I don’t care. But it’s 6am and I’m being woken up because urine has chosen to attack me this morning. I see Maboko sleeping on the couch with his hand covered in a bandage as I make my way to the toilet. Fuck him!
I quickly pee then start getting ready for the day. I make the bed and I shower. I have braids on so the hair part of getting ready is already done for me.
I get dressed into a maxi dress and Vans sneakers.
I open the curtains and window and decide to make a quick meal for us to eat. Maboko finally wakes up. He sits up on his couch then he looks at me. I just look at him. I’m pissed.
“Good morning”, he says.
I don’t reply.
“Are we going to talk about this?” He asks me.
“No.” I say.
“So, we are just going to abuse each other until you leave?” He says.
“Not even. I’m leaving after we are done at the hospital. I’ll give you time and space to be with your girlfriend.” I say.
“Teboho –
“Don’t talk to me, Maboko. You and I are done.”

My baby is gone. The abortion was safely done and now it is for me to heal. Maboko and I are driving back to his apartment. I’m glad he didn’t take me seriously that I want to go home, because I don’t want to be alone today… not after I’ve killed this child. I just have tears streaming down my face, but my cry is silent. He is also silent. The radio is not playing in the car. It’s as if we’ve entered a mourning period.
We arrive at his apartment and I just head straight to the guest bedroom. He walks into the bedroom behind me.
I lie on the bed and I just let out a loud and aggressive cry. I feel him lie down as well, cupping me in towards him and I hear him crying as well. We just lie on this bed and we CRY!

After about an hour or so, he passes out. I’m still wide awake. I’m just overthinking everything that has happened and I cannot believe that this is how things are ending between myself and a man I thought is the love of my life. Linda finally won.
I climb off the bed. I feel awful! But I do want to leave. I want to go home and I want to be miserable alone, mourning my child and my relationship… both of which I’ve lost today.
“Teboho, you cannot just leave. Please.” I hear him say.
I ignore him. I continue wearing my shoes.
“Teboho please –
“How could you, Maboko? Why didn’t you dump me instead of making a fool out of me like this?” I say.
“Linda and I are not serious. It’s very casual.”
I laugh.
“And she –
He keeps quiet.
“Is she the only one?” I ask him.
“No, she’s not.” He says.
“But she’s the one who gets cupboard space in here?”
“She only left a few things here. But other stuff belong to the other girls and Gwen.”
I’m silent.
“Teboho, it’s just sex with them. My heart only belongs to you.”
“The fact that you take the most intimate part of our relationship and give to other women, labelling it as just sex, tells me that you are not who I thought you were. We are done, Maboko. Enjoy your varsity life and all the girls you are fucking just because you are Maboko Seete. I cannot be at home stressing over your faithfulness to me when you couldn’t care less about how this makes me feel. I’m hurt but I’ll move on.”
“Baby –
“Maboko, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Can you at least just stay the week? Let me take care of you this week. I’ll drive you home at the end of the week like we had planned. I just need to take care of you and make sure that you heal. Please, love. Teboho, you might be done with me, but I’m not done with you. I’m not done with us.”
“You have an interesting way of showing me that”, I say.
He seems a bit… hurt, I suppose.
“I’m sorry”, he says to me.
“You are not. Because you will phone one of your whores the minute I’m back home.”
He doesn’t say anything.