Thomas and I have just concluded our doctor’s appointment. I’m close to giving birth to our son and he’s extremely excited to be welcoming our baby boy into the world. I’ve had a bit of a difficult pregnancy. I’ve managed to get type two diabetes because of this pregnancy and I’m on bedrest every other week. This child has between today and two weeks from now to come into this world or I’ll be induced and he will be forced into this world. Because of the diabetes, I cannot carry the baby for longer than thirty-seven weeks.
I even stopped working at six months. Thomas and Mthunzi are running my business for me while I’m at home. Thomas even got my parents to move in with us so they can take care of me during the day while he is running two companies. But my executives are brilliant. And with Thandeka back from being shown flames in Tholoana Kingdom, she has come in quite handy in helping Mthunzi and Thomas.

“Love, your phone is ringing”, Thomas tells me. I didn’t even notice that it’s my phone that’s ringing.
I answer it. It’s connected to the hands-free Bluetooth option.
“Hey, bhuti.” I answer.
“Sisi-
I hear screams in the background. Thomas and I are both worried.
“Kwenze njani, Sibongiseni?” I ask.
“Eish… can you and Thomas get mom and dad here, please? It’s Noni’s last born. She just got hit by a car. It just happened now. We don’t know what to do.”
It’s 11am, so I must ask, “Why isn’t she in school? Where was she when this happened?”
“Yoh Fikile, I don’t know. Nelisile just phoned me and I’ve just arrived.”
“Phone the ambulance, Sbo. We are on our way.” Thomas says then we hang up the call.

We fetched my parents and my girls from home then made our way home. When we arrived, there were ambulances and police vehicles. Noni was sitting next to a body covered in foil. A funeral undertaker arrived and took her body. The man who ran her over was taken away in cuffs because he was high on cocaine and drunk on alcohol.
Now, we are in the main house. I’m helping Nelisile cook and make tea and cakes for everyone. Siyamthanda (Noni’s eldest), Kamva (Neli’s one), Rofhiwa and Khanyisa (my two) are in my parents’ bedroom eating. I don’t know where Thomas and Sbo are. Sbo’s girlfriend is also here and shame, I’m going to try with her.
“Fikile, sit down. You are heavily pregnant. Sizokwenzani thina when you go into labour?” Neli says and I just roll my eyes at her.
Latifah chuckles. She’s the new girlfriend. We don’t know what happened to the other one. But Sbo asked me to try with Latifah, so I’ll try.
Latifah and Neli serve Noni and the mourners food then set up the juice, tea and biscuits table.

Now we are in the kitchen and chatting. I’m feeling tired now and my baby is super active, so I’m rubbing my tummy. I don’t know why, but I rub it a lot when he’s active.
My dad walks into the kitchen. He is followed in by Thomas. Then Sbo. They look at us. We look at them.
“Apparently, we are sleeping over”, Thomas says.
I actually really want to sleep in my own house and in my own bed.
“But we don’t have changing clothes, sleeping clothes or school uniform for the girls.” I say.
He looks at me. He already knows that this baby has me in a mood.
“Neli, do you mind if we take Kamva? We’ll be back in the morning with all the girls.” I say.
She nods her head and says, “I was actually going to ask you to take her and Siya.”
“Cool. I’ll go get them.” I say.
“Fikile Ramaru, please sit down and relax. Let us do all the work. Actually be a Madam and not feel bad about it. You are heavily pregnant!” Neli says.
“Thank you, Neli. Thank you!” Thomas.
I just shake my head.
She heads to the bedroom then my mom comes into the kitchen.
“Are you leaving?” She asks looking at Thomas. She knows I’ll shamelessly say yes. Thomas looks at me.
“Yebo mah, we are leaving.” I say.
She seems disappointed.
“We’ll be back in the morning”, I say.
She nods her head.
“Thomas, Sibongiseni and Fikile… please follow me to Sibongiseni’s room outside. Your dad and I need to talk to you.” My mom.
Latifah helps me up from the chair.
“Latifah, you must give me your number. I’ll chat to you regarding our movements tomorrow and you can also keep me updated with the movements here”, I say.
She smiles at me. She gives me her phone so I punch in my number. I hope she’s not a whatsapp addict.

“My children, your mother and I wanted to talk to you about the burial”, my dad says to Sbo, Thomas and I. I’m sitting on a single couch in this room. Sbo and Thomas are on a double couch.
I just sit back in my seat and put my feet up, rubbing my belly because this child is now awake. I just know it’s going to be a long night of going to the toilet and him playing around while his dad and I sleep. Thomas cuddles me the most now because he likes sleeping with his hands on my belly. You’d think he’d be used to it by now, but the baby playing about in my tummy wakes him up and fascinates him so much. I’ve learned to sleep past it. When you have to wake up as often as I do to go pee, you sleep past tummy activities. STRU!
“Nonkululeko doesn’t have money to bury Lethukuthula. As it is, she doesn’t have money to keep her at the mortuary. The mortuary wanted to return the body because Nonkululeko hasn’t made payment. Your mother and I had to make the payment to keep her there for tonight and tomorrow. But we cannot afford more than that.” My dad says.
“We were hoping that the three of you could help us with burying our child. We know it’s expenses that you didn’t plan for, but we have to give our child a good send off.” My mom says.
“Why isn’t Nelisile here? She also works.” Sibongiseni.
I could even answer that on behalf of my mom.
“I’ve already tried to speak to her. She said she’s busy with Kamva’s things and she doesn’t have money for anything else.” My mother says.
“She never has –
I hold Sbo’s hand, shake my head, signalling that he should drop this. He’s not going to win this argument. Neli is who she is. We all know that if it were Kamva, she’d expect us all to step in, not ask. But she’d never lift a finger to help anyone around here.
“It’s fine, mama. We will help.” Sibongiseni says, begrudgingly so.
“Mama, baba… we will sit together and see what we do.” Thomas says.
“Ngiyabonga bafana bami”, my mom says.
“Sbo, why don’t you come sleep over at our place today then we can talk about it at home”, Thomas says.
Sbo agrees. I know that Latifah will be coming with us too.

Sbo takes out ten thousand rands and Thomas takes out ten thousand rands and leave it with my parents for now. I tell my mom that I will go with Latifah and Neli to buy groceries tomorrow. With this money, my parents can pay for catering and Lethu’s stay at the funeral house. My parents say thank you then we have to leave. It’s getting late. Neli has all the kids in the car by the time we get to the car. We are slightly delayed further when Sbo’s drivers bring in the taxis because the day has ended and it is knock off time for them. Now we must wait for Sbo to inspect the cars for any dents or damage, count the money made for the day for each taxi and record it in his book, then pay the drivers. My dad is helping him. I see my dad shout at these men. I’m not sure what they have done. Lethu is out here with an iPad and she is recording something.
“Lethu keeps a spreadsheet for Sbo to record all his income and expenses.” Latifah tells me.
“That’s nice. At least she’s learning to implement her learnings already.” I say.
“Sadly, she went and told her mother how much Sbo makes off each taxi and now Noni is forcing Sbo to pay Lethu more than what he is already paying her.” Latifah.
Lethu is quite stupid for someone who considers herself smart.
“And Lethu is dating one of the drivers. So that’s also an issue now. So Sbo has fired her. She keeps going to him and asks him to record the numbers. But you know Sbo, when he’s done with you, HE IS DONE.” ULatifah uyakhuluma yaz.
Sbo is finally done. I hear my father say he will manage the drivers in the morning. Now Sbo is in the car and we can leave! The girls are even sleeping already. Latifah and I sit behind Thomas and Sbo, Thomas driving and Sbo on the passenger seat. We just spent ten minutes at Latifah’s home because she needed to pack an overnight bag. As to why she didn’t walk home to go pack while we were waiting for the taxi operations to close down for the day, angazi. This pregnancy has made me so cranky. Ai! I don’t appreciate people who do not apply common sense and I’m generally not like this.

We are home now.
“Should I make us something to eat?” I offer.
“I’ll help you, sisi.” Latifah says.
She’s so… humble.
“Sis’Latifah, can we show you our room?” Khanyisa says.
This is the first of her father’s girlfriends that she’s taken a liking to and I must say that we are all very impressed, especially Sbo.
“Okay”, Latifah says, smiling.
Latifah goes upstairs with the kids.
“Sbo, I’d show Latifah your room, but if I go up those stairs, I’m not coming back down here.” I say.
I honestly have a discomfort at the moment.
Thomas and Sbo laugh, but they pick up that something is wrong.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” Thomas asks me.
“I just don’t feel good, Thomas. Maybe I just need to sleep.” I say.
“Are you sure? Maybe we should phone the doctor.” Thomas.
I get up from the chair and a blob of water falls from my vagina.
“Fikile! YINI MANJE!?!” Sbo is proper spooked.
“Thomas, I think I need to get to a hospital”, I say.
Thomas just scoops me and takes me to the car. I hear Sbo telling Latifah to stay with the kids, we are coming back. Latifah says okay. Both Sbo and Thomas take me to the hospital.

…

Hello world. Let me introduce you to my son AKA Thomas Ramaru’s mixed race twin – Ranwedzi Sitholizwe Ramaru.
I’m so excited to meet him, but Thomas is even more excited to finally have a son. He is the CUTEST baby boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on.
“He betrayed me. He looks nothing like me. He took everything from you”, I say to Thomas.
“Well, is that a bar thing? I did charm you, right?” He says and we laugh.
“Umfana wami lo”, Sbo says as he takes him from me.
“He’s a handsome fella, isn’t he?” Thomas says.
“Big time. The first grandson yakwaMbatha. You guys did well. Congratulations.” Sbo says.
Trust me, we are happy too. But I didn’t think about the first grandson part.

–

I couldn’t make it today to Lethukuthula’s funeral, but Thomas went with the girls. Thomas and Sbo took care of everything financially. It’s just Ranwedzi and I today at the hospital. His dad and sisters will join us after the funeral.
My son is so cute guys. I’m so obsessed. I feel like he sleeps too much. I want him to wake up and laugh with me all the time. He’s so beautiful. “Hello mamaRanwedzi”, I hear.
I look up. Thomas’ brothers and their wives are all here with balloons and love. I’m so happy to see them.
“Hello”, I say to all of them.
We are all hugging and greeting each other.
Thomas’ eldest brother, Kenneth, is now holding Ranwedzi and he’s reciting their clan names to him the way Thomas did.
I love this. My heart is so full.

It’s around 2pm when Thomas walks in with Rofhiwa and Khanyisa. These two are so excited to be big sisters. They charge straight to their brother. We have to remind them to say hello to everyone first. Sbo is also here with Latifah and Latifah is the only person who thought of bringing me a baby bag and some pyjamas. She’s so thoughtful yaz.
“Latifah, ngiyabonga sisi. Ranwedzi and I need this big time. I thought we’d have to deal with the hospital clothes until we got home.” I say and everyone laughs. Even Thomas.
Rofhiwa has her brother in her arms. I wish I had my phone with me so I could take this nice picture of my three children loving each other so much.
“Are you going to Venda with the new baby?” Kenneth asks Thomas and me.
For what?! In that heat? With a new baby? Ranwedzi is Venda, I know… but even he would have an issue with that heat. Thomas doesn’t even have parents anymore. What will we be doing in Venda?
“How long should we be there?” Thomas asks.
“Three months.” Kenneth says. “Penny and I will be there with you guys.” He adds.
Thomas looks at me.
“Doesn’t this affect you and work?” I ask Thomas.
“I’ll work virtually from Venda. Mthunzi will be on the ground for both our companies. He will have help from our executive team.” Thomas says.
If I say no, it will break his heart. So, I’ll deal with the heat for him. I nod my head and say, “Okay cool.”
“Plus Khanyi’s and Rofhi’s schools have virtual learning options, so they will continue as per usual with school – just virtually. I’ll go to the school on Monday and let them know.” He says.
I nod my head.

My parents walk in amidst the chatting between the Ramarus. They are meeting Ranwedzi for the first time today. I observe my father hold my son in his arms, taking him from one of Thomas’ brothers, and he is in tears. My mom gets emotional too.
“My first grandson”, my father keeps saying.
Ranwedzi is going to cause more issues between my sisters and I. They already don’t like me. Now, I had to be the one sister who had a son when everyone else had daughters? And my parents had to get this emotional when meeting my son? Yoh yoh yoh!
“Sawubona Sitho kagogo! Sawubona Sitholizwe! Sawubona nkosana yakwaMbatha.” My mom says, taking him from my dad.
“Hai ngeke phela… he is a Ramaru that one. Sitholizwe wethu yebo, kodwa before he is uSitholizwe inkosana yakwaMbatha, he is Ranwedzi inkosana yakwaRamaru.” I say.
The Ramarus actually smile when I say this. I saw them all catching feelings when Sitholizwe was being used a lot and Mbatha was thrown in when it was supposed to be Ramaru.
“Hai cha, siyezwa ndodakazi. Sibongiseni naweLatifah, sicela indodana.” My dad says and we all laugh. Even Sibongiseni laughs, but Latifah is not impressed with this. At all.
My mom explains that Noni cannot come until she has been cleansed. Which is fine. Neli stayed with her. Which is okay. Neli has always liked her more.
When I tell her that we are headed to Venda, both she and my dad don’t take it well.
“Why?” My dad asks. I think he was really looking forward to spending time with his Sitho.
“It’s how we do things in our family, papa.” Kenneth explains to my mother.
“But Fikile is going to need me. She can’t do this alone.” My mom.
“She won’t be alone, mah. We will be there with her and Thomas.” Kenneth.
“Who’s going to teach her how to bath the child? What to do when the child excessively cries? How to feed the child, starting him from just liquid and introducing him to solids? How to pick up his patterns and teach him new patterns? What oils to use on him to protect his spirit? Hhayi!” My mom is really hurt by this and I honestly didn’t think about any of the things she’s just mentioned.
“Mah, you can always come with us to Venda and help Fikile there”, Kenneth says.
“How? I’ve just buried a granddaughter. My daughter needs me and no one should be traveling until we have been cleansed because we are in mourning – including Fikile!” My mother.
“Well, Fikile and Ranwedzi both carry the Ramaru name. That means whenever there is a clash on which process takes preference between the Ramarus and the Mbathas, they do what the Ramarus require them to do. They no longer belong to the Mbatha name.” Kenneth.
“Ken, there is no need to be disrespectful about this. Mrs Mbatha is raising valid issues here.” Thomas says and I’m so thankful. Kenneth was sweeping the floor with my mom’s pain and concerns.
“Thomas, how could you let this happen? You’ve had a baby before and I’m sure your ex-wife had her mother supporting her. Dealing with a new baby is not always cute. Why would you want Fikile to be so far away from support and make this a traumatic experience for her?” My mother.
Thomas doesn’t say anything.
“Mah, what if you came with us to Venda and came back for Noni’s cleansing ceremony?” I say.
“Noni needs me here, Fikile.”
“Mama, I need you too. I’m also your daughter.”
“Don’t do that!”
“Don’t do what, mama? I’m a married woman and kumele ngithobele imithetho yasebukhweni. You want me to disrespect the Ramarus because you’d rather stick around for Noni? Mah, I don’t ask you for much. I really don’t. But even when I really need you, you want to tell me that I don’t take preference and you’d rather stay and support Noni?”
Sbo looks at my mother with interest of what she will say.
“You know your sisters are not as strong as you are. You know what to do without us. If a roof fell on your head right now, you’d know how to hold it up and not let it hit your head. Your sisters are not the same. You know that. I don’t know why you’d think you are the same and you could compare your need for me to theirs.” She says.
This hurts me to the core and she sees it.
My dad tries to mask her words by saying “Ndodakazi, what your mother is trying to say is –
“Cha baba, she’s made herself very clear. I guess it’s fair to then say that she has no business coming in here and demanding that we accommodate her need to stay here and look after the child that needs her more than I apparently do.”
My dad and mom look at me with sad eyes. Kenneth is impressed and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.
Ranwedzi starts crying.
Thomas takes him from my dad’s arms and tries to calm him down.
“Let me feed him, love.” I say to Thomas, stretching my arms out.
The room is just tense. It would be nice if everyone could just leave!

It is evening now. The visiting hours are over. Thomas is here and he’s sleeping over. I’m in a family room. Rofhiwa and Khanyisa are at home with Latifah and Sbo. They agreed to stay at our place until we got back home.
Thomas hands me my cellphone. It’s off. I’m sure my battery died and I’m too lazy to do anything right now.
Ranwedzi is here with us right now and it’s nice.
“You know your mother didn’t mean what she said the way that you interpreted it, right?” He says.
“I’m used to it by now, T. Since we were kids, Noni and Neli have always come first to her. She’s been an amazing mom to me, don’t get me wrong. I know she loves me. But she’d always choose their netball games over my parents evening at school. She’d always choose their happy moments over the times I really needed her. My dad is the one who taught me how to use a sanitary towel because my mom had to walk Noni to the shops to buy bread to understand why she had had a bad day at school. When Sbo became older and noticed that I was desperate for mom’s attention but it rather went to Noni and Neli, he sided with me. When Noni and Neli ganged up on me for being “spoilt” as they said, he protected me. My mom let them bully me, but I’d get into trouble for fighting back and protecting myself. So, I had to accept that I’m not the daughter she prioritises. She’s proud of me. She’s happy I’m close to her. She’s happy I’m happy. And we good when we phone each other every day and check in with each other. But unfortunately, she can’t be to me what she is to Noni and Neli emotionally.”
He looks at me. He has Ranwedzi in his arms.
He gives Ranwedzi to me then climbs into bed. He then pulls me towards him, cuddling both Ranwedzi and I.
Then he says, “So, with all your mommy issues, how did you become so perfect?”
I laugh aloud and say, “There are a lot of people who would disagree with you on that. Trust me.”
He laughs.
“You make me so happy, Fikile Ramaru. You are my partner at home and in business. You gave me a family full of laughter, love, warmth and children. You gave me a joyous noise to come home to every day after a hectic day at work. And now, you’ve given me my son after bringing a smile back to Rofhiwa’s life and coming into our lives with a second daughter for me and a sister for Rofhiwa. I need you to understand how complete you make me as a man.”
“Well, Thomas Ramaru… thank you for not punishing me for your wife’s passing. Thank you for giving me my space and position as your wife. Thank you for a love like no other. I learn from you every day. You make me the businesswoman that I am. I am a seasoned brand specialist. That’s it. You are the one who builds my business acumen every day, allowing me to learn from you and supporting me even though you’d prefer me to either work for you or stay at home and raise our kids.”
He laughs aloud.
“Thank you for the most handsome son I’ve ever laid eyes on. He’s so perfect, Thomas. And thank you for choosing me.” I say.
We kiss.
Ranwedzi starts crying.
“Have we already started sharing you?” He asks me.
I laugh.
“So… Venda?” Him.
“What do you want?” I ask him.
“Your mom is right, you cannot be alone.”
“I have you.”
“There are things that only she can teach you. I don’t want to deprive you of that. We will go after the cleansing. I’ll manage Kenneth. By then your mom should be able to go with us if it really means that much to her. If not, you’d have learned enough to go do it on your own in Venda.” He says.
I smile at him.
“Plus, I need to tap again.” He says.
I laugh at him and say, “You are in for a wait, Mr R. Luckily, your hand still functions well.”
He laughs aloud.
“Stay away from Maphito”, I say pointing a finger at him.
Now he really laughs hard and aloud. I just smile at him.
“There is nothing on this earth that is worth me trading what we have. Nothing!” He says.
I smile.