We are attending Ruri’s Zulu wedding today. Us, the Khuzwayos, have to use two V300s because Banathi’s house is just full of people. But the Tholoana Kingdom gang is here, and we are all excited for this wedding. I’m most proud of the Sotho men. They never want to dress up in any other traditional wear. For them, it’s Sotho or nothing. But today, they are in jeans and leopard print tops at least. Trust me, that’s a lot for them! 

The only people who are in ibheshu and sunglasses here are the Khuzwayo boys and the boys that they gave birth to. lol! But the women… we went all out in our Zulu outfits. I’m honestly wearing the outfit that Banathi’s mom bought for me when Banathi and I got married. I loved it then and I’m still obsessed with it now. Our baby girls are so beautiful in their attires too. Wehweh isn’t wearing isiqholo because she’s not married yet. But her hairstyle is so perfect, she’s making us wish that we focused on hairstyles and not isiqholo anyway. 

We are all staying at the same hotel, except for the Seetes. The Seetes, with Ruri, stayed at Aus’ Fifi’s house. Apparently when her husband passed away, she took her son and they came to live in South Africa. She teaches here in South Africa, but she lives in a triple story house with her son. The son is now even studying overseas. But he has been around for the wedding. She’s so gorgeous hle! So stunning! I wanted to ask how a teacher can afford that house that she lives in and the cars that she drives – plus, to educate her kid overseas. Then I heard that her husband was the pope. I also understand that the church will take care of you until you die – and your dependents become their dependents when you die. So nje she works because she likes what she does, otherwise, there’s no need. 

When we arrive, Banathi is between his mom and I – standard procedure. And I actually don’t mind yaz. When Bab’Zithulele passed away, Banathi took over with looking after his mother. And I don’t mind at all. I even spend a lot of time with her too. So when we go to stuff as a family, she’s definitely the queen-mother who will always be on my husband’s right arm, and I’m fine with being his queen that will always be on his left. Normally, she would have just been on Mnqobi’s arm as he is the single brother, but Wehweh felt excluded when that happened and it didn’t quite end up well. So I told Banathi that he must always make sure that he holds mama. I’ll rather cling onto Katli. He laughed and said, “I’ll be that guy with two wives. I’ll be so cool.” And now he’s living his dream because this is as far as he will get to having more than one woman on his arms. 

Banathi and I made a decision to never comment on Wehweh’s and Mah’s relationship. It’s up and down. Even when mah said Wehweh wants to try, Banathi and I had no comment. I just feel for Mnqobi because this is his mother and the woman that he loves. But what I will say is that anyone who marries Wehweh needs a deep dive in how Wehweh grew up; a deep dive into her relationship with her parents – particularly her mother – and understand that it will shape a lot of her relationships with adults in general. But it’s good to know that she wants to try. And I know that the trying will be harder for Wehweh than it will be for anyone else. I’m prepared to be here for her, but I don’t want to destroy my relationship with her. Because Wehweh will cancel you for not siding with her. I heard that at my wedding, her friends told her to stop behaving like a brat. Those are true friends. Shout out to them. I shall leave this responsibility in their hands. 

Ruri is with us. Today, we are taking her to her new family. This will always be beautiful to me. Always. We are singing our Sotho songs sooo loudly! They outnumber us by far, but we are having so much fun in this battle of the choirs exercise. 

We are eventually let in. But most of the stuff that happens, we can’t really see because the Buthelezi family are a royal family. So some of their things are sacred. Ruri is a whole princess now, bra. I love it for her. And Khanya is so humble; you forget that he is from a royal family. It’s a pity that his mother is not here, but the father’s widow is happy to step in and she really makes sure that everything goes beautifully. 

When Ruri is presented back to us, she looks out of this world. I feel like I’m watching an episode of Shaka iLembe. That isiqholo that she’s wearing is that one which Nandi (played by Nomzamo Mbatha) wore when she married  Senzangakhona (who was played by Senzo Radebe). She’s literally in cow skin. She looks incredible. All of us cannot stop saying “wow”. 

When all is done, it’s a party. Banathi, Khanane and Katli are on the DJ decks. I’m so confused! When did these people become DJs? 

“We just let them be, girl. At least it’s not another woman. I’ll take another hobby any day”, Khanyisa says to me. I didn’t even see her next to me.

I laugh then say, “I’m just so confused. When did this even start?” 

“Girl, let them be”, she says, laughing too. 

We chat about and dance about. We barely see Ruri. She has limited time to mingle, so we understand when she just mingles with her parents and Khanyisa. It’s no secret that Ruri’s best friends are her mother and her sister-in-law, and I love it for her.

We ended up leaving at midnight. Banathi was so drunk! Even Mnqobi. Wehweh and I ended up driving the cars back to where we are staying, because Mam’Tlali left with the Queen and Mapho when they went back. They had to leave before the sun set. They are still in mourning. 

Banathi, drunk as he was, still wanted sex. I don’t understand. But I gave him sex. He was so emotional. He wouldn’t stop telling me how much he loves me. He even started singing hle. I’m still laughing even now. He sang Prince’s Most Beautiful Girl In The World for me. But he only knows two lines and that’s all he kept singing while crying. He kept singing:

“Could you be 

The most beautiful girl in the world?

Plain to see

You’re the reason that God made a girl”.

I honestly couldn’t stop laughing. But after the sex, he passed out. I was still laughing. 

This morning, myself, Banathi, Mnqobi and Wehweh are going to Soweto to see Phakathwayo. He’s expecting us, so I hope that he’s somewhat civil. 

Mam’Tlali says she’s going back to the kingdom. She will get a lift from the Mohales. So we will find her back in the kingdom. Which is fine, actually. She left with the kids. So it’s just us four. We will go back to the kingdom after meeting up with Phakathwayo. 

The Soweto house belonged to Bab’Zithulele’s parents. This is where Phakathwayo grew up because his mother – Bab’Zithulele’s sister – lived here with him. But now we found out that she was the aunt, so hey… but in Bab’Zithulele’s will, he got this house. 

I think this is a more powerful inheritance than what Banathi and Mnqobi got. He got the house that belonged to their grandparents. All the blessings are there; especially now that Mam’Tlali sold her house with Bab’Zithulele. This is basically home for the Khuzwayos. But I’d never say that to Mnqobi and Banathi. Nope. I just keep it to myself. So I respect the land I’m about to step on by wearing a  short-sleeved maxi dress (short sleeves covering my shoulders) and a cutely-tied doek. My excuse is that my hair is not looking cute and yesterday, it was hidden in isiqholo. Wehweh wears jeans and a top, with LV sandals. She looks cute. The way that Banathi and Mnqobi dress tells me that they also know that they can’t just dress anyhow when going to that place. 

“Should I wear a dress?” Wehweh asks me.

“I think so, friend”, I say.

“But why? It’s just Phakathwayo”, she says.

“It’s a house that belonged to the grandparents. And remember, you are pregnant. This is the time to collect blessings, not punishment.” I say.

When I say this, she nods her head and says, “I only brought short dresses”. 

“I have an extra maxi-dress”, I say.

“Thanks friend”, she says. 

So we go to the room that Nathi and I are sleeping in. She quickly changes. I even give her sneakers and tie a doek nice and cute on her head too. We wear sunglasses afterwards. 

When we get to the dining area for breakfast, Banathi and Mnqobi seem relieved that Wehweh changed. Even Wehweh notices.

“Mnqobi, why wouldn’t you tell me to dress appropriately then?” Wehweh snaps.

We all laugh when Mnqobi says, “it’s Palesa’s job. She is umakoti omdala.” 

Please! 

I don’t need this pressure in my life. 

…

We arrive at Meadowlands… to a very beautiful house. I’ve never been to this house before, but wow… this is one of those houses that don’t belong in the township. 

“I love what he has done with this place”, Mnqobi. 

So it wasn’t always like this?! 

Well, good work, Phakathwayo! 

The gate slides open. There are cameras at every corner of this house and fence. The gate and garages are electric. Yoh, Phakathwayo! That time, the two houses next to it look very helpless. 

Banathi drives in then parks the car under a carport. Two cars are parked in the garage. One is a white P-Series Bucky, and the other car is a black Cherry Tiggo4Pro. 

We get out of the car and head to the main door. Phakathwayo actually welcomes us quite warmly. He hugs Wehweh and I, then greets his two brothers. Okay, this is going well so far. I’m crossing fingers that it keeps going this way. 

He lets us inside of the house. 

Mnqobi and Banathi go on and on about how beautiful the house is, and how the grandparents are going to bless him endlessly for this. 

I’m so happy for them. 

“My girlfriend prepared these fruit snacks for us. Now she’s locked herself up in the bedroom because uthi uyanisaba”, Phakathwayo. 

“Usaba thina?! Well, what did you say about us?” I say.

“She says that because my parents have passed, my brothers are my elders. So I guess it’s a respect thing”, he says.

I like her already.

“You know how these Swati people are”, he says.

“She’s Swati?” Wehweh asks.

“Yeah.” Phakathwayo says with a smile. 

“Please fetch her. We’d love to meet her”, I say.

He shakes his head then goes to fetch her, climbing two flights of stairs. 

I love this house! 

He comes downstairs with her. She really is beautiful. She’s wearing a denim dress. It’s long and respectful. She has slops on. But she’s in the house, so it makes sense. And she’s wearing a head-band kind of doek. 

She greets us. The guys shake her hand as she is introduced to us. Then Wehweh and I hug her. Her name is Mfundo. 

“Where are you from, sisi?” Mnqobi asks her.

“Ermelo”, she says.

“So how did you meet this guy?” Banathi asks.

“He stalked me”, Mfundo says.

We all laugh.

Phakathwayo is suddenly shy. 

“Stalked you how?” Wehweh.

“He was on a flight that I was working on, told me I’m pretty, then waited for me outside our offices. Who does that?” Mfundo says.

We all laugh again.

“You are a flight attendant?” Wehweh asks her.

“I am. I used to do international flights, but Phakathwayo and I fought all the time about it. So now I just do local flights”, she says.

“She would be gone for weeks at times. Hai bo! Now she’s home by 6pm like any other person”, Phakathwayo says.

“Then you better marry her”, Mnqobi says.

I’m glad his brothers are saying it.

“I definitely plan to”, Phakathwayo says as he smiles at her.

Heh! 

Love! 

“So didn’t it affect your pay?” Wehweh asks. She’s the only one concerned about this. 

“It did. But I had a business where I bought designer bags in China and sold them here in South Africa. So it’s the real thing, but I stocked it at the source, for their manufacturing price, then I just paid for customs and clearance, and sell it here. I make good money from that. So now I’m just more aggressive with that business. And it helps me look after my family. I look after two households back home”, she says.

“Are you on social media?” Wehweh asks her.

“I can’t. I’d get arrested. It’s deemed to be counterfeit goods. So those who know, know. My customers refer me, then people place their orders, pay upfront, then I deliver them if they are within the Gauteng, Northwest and Mpumalanga region. Anything further, I courier. It just limits risk of being stopped by cops and them confiscating the goods”, Mfundo says. 

“Do you have stock now?” I ask her. 

“Yeah. In my storeroom. I made deliveries in the past three days. Now I just have stock that is ready to buy”, she says.

“Nathi, your card please”, I say. 

Wehweh is already pulling Mnqobi’s wallet out of his pocket. They complain, but they must stop it. Please! 

She takes us to the storeroom and we leave the brothers to themselves. 

This girl sells bags, shoes and clothes. Hai bo! 

Wehweh and I pretty much finish her stock! But she loves it. And it’s so affordable. A bag I’d buy for R50k, I’m buying for R5k. And she’s still making profit. This is insane. 

I buy t-shirts and shoes. These are not loud and in your face. It’s the type where the people that know will know. I decide to be nice and also buy Nathi and Katli some stuff. I even buy for Puseletso. I don’t buy for the smaller kids because I don’t believe in kids wearing or carrying designer when they don’t quite understand the value of it yet. 

My stuff amount to R55k. I pay her R60k to be supportive. Wehweh’s stuff amount to R80k. She also bought for Mnqobi as well. She pays R100k. 

I’m sure we have to pay for these in sex hey. 

Mfundo is so excited though. 

I never thought that this would be my life. How do you spend R60k in one hour?! Yoh! 

We head downstairs. 

The guys are still talking, eating and drinking. 

“You are buying nothing else for the rest of this year”, Banathi says.

Please! Wehweh swiped R100k. He must relax. I was kind. 

They load our boxes in the boot of the V300 that we arrived in. 

“Let me show you guys the house”, Phakathwayo says. 

Downstairs is pretty much the ground floor. The kitchen, dining room, TV room, laundry room, entertainment room and bar are all here. The TV room has one wall that’s just a sliding door. Apparently it gets very hot here, so they needed the air. Mfundo was responsible for this, and I love it. The sliding door leads to a pool and their massive garden. It also leads to what Phakathwayo presents to us that honestly humbles his brothers to tears and hugs. Phakathwayo turned the back rooms into five-bedroom duplexes for his brothers. Mnqobi and Wehweh have theirs. Nathi and I have ours. Phakathwayo says this house makes him feel close to his dad, his dad’s siblings and their grandparents. He sometimes even dreams about them. So he doesn’t want to take that away from his brothers. This is their home ground too. As he says this, he even gives them keys. 

They open their doors. It’s nice houses with stunning finishing; and they have no furniture. 

Phakathwayo tells them that they can furnish their places themselves. They make jokes about how cheap Phakathwayo is and we all laugh. But I know that this gesture has brought them closer than what Bab’Zithulele could have ever done himself. 

We head back in the house then we climb the first flight of stairs. Wehweh was taking pics of their duplex so she could furnish it. She was using some app to get measurements of each room. I should’ve done the same. I was just blown away, honestly. But I ask Wehweh to send me the pics and measurements too. 

The first floor has a pool table, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a second TV room that leads to a balcony. The balcony has a gas braai stove. It has stunning patio furniture as well. I love this place. Mfundo’s store room for her stock is also in here. 

Then the second floor is the main bedroom – massive with a walk-in closet, and four bedrooms. There is also a room where all the camera footage is stored. The security is rather tight. 

As we make our way down the stairs, Phakathwayo explains that having this kind of property in the township is not easy. You easily become a target for crime. He has three businesses in the township, but he has people he pays – cops included – to make sure that he’s safe. That’s why they don’t buy expensive brand cars. They need to look like somewhere, they are like the people too. Then they start laughing about how some kids will come here asking to swim. They say no all the time, but the kids keep on asking. So he ended up sponsoring the park in this township with games, a kid’s restaurant, a PlayStation room, and a pool. He tasked the community to look after it as well, and the mamas that clean there get paid. The staff that sell food at that restaurant get paid. The people who mind the children while playing there get paid. It created employment too. 

We are so proud of him hey. So proud. And it seems that people like him though their grandparents were hated here from what I hear. 

Mnqobi and Banathi offer to also sponsor sections of the park that will make it bigger, safer, and a good place to keep kids out of trouble. 

Phakathwayo explains that he wanted to do sports fields then develop sports teams. Us ladies decide to sponsor netball. The guys decide to sponsor soccer. 

Big ups to this community indeed! 

Phakathwayo leads us to a house outside of his house. It’s a one bedroom house. Literally a bedroom. 

“I didn’t want to touch this part of the house. I just fixed the windows.” Phakathwayo says.

He continues, “this is where our grandparents slept. It’s dirty because only umakoti ophelele can clean in there. I haven’t put a bed or anything in there… just photos of them that I found, and photos of our dad, his brothers and sisters. This is where we come to talk to them. This is where we come when we are having horrible dreams or need light. So, if you guys are not in a hurry to leave, maybe you can stay the night then my brothers and I can sleep in here tonight”.

Yoh! 

Phakathwayo! 

The brothers hug each other. 

I even get emotional. 

“Mfundo, please show me where the cleaning things are. I’ll get started with cleaning this place”, I say. I’m the only makoti ophelele mos. 

“Thank you”, Phakathwayo says to me.

“And I’m sorry about how I spoke to you the last time we were together”, he says.

I even forgot about that. 

“You’ve more than made it up to us”, I say.

“While Mfundo and Wehweh get the cleaning stuff, Banathi, Mnqobi and I need to come in here and talk to the ancestors. We also need to tell them who Palesa is before she cleans in here”, Phakathwayo says. 

Wehweh and Mfundo leave. 

I head in with the brothers. 

We all sit on the floor. 

All three of them talk to their ancestors. Red and white candles are lit. Banathi leads the discussion. 

When we are done, they leave me to start cleaning. I ask them to buy two large grass mats and a few small ones. They must also buy amakhamba that will stay in here. I’ll make umqombothi. 

“Where will we find that?” Banathi asks me. 

“KaMoosa, they’re in Joburg CBD, around the Dragon City area”, I says. 

“Dragon City? The fuck?!” Banathi is such a snob. He’s lucky he’s handsome. 

“Ask Mfundo, maybe she also knows where it is.” I say.

I think they all left together – the guys plus Wehweh and Mfundo. 

I clean every corner of this room. 

I even clean the cupboards in here. They are empty, but filthy. 

I Wash the photo frames that house each photograph in here too. Then I put the photos back and hang them nicely on the wall again. 

I wash the windows and curtains as well. The curtains and lace that are here, I put them on the washing line. I’ll bring them back when they are dry. 

It even smells good in here.

When I’m done, the guys are back. 

They all compliment me on how well I cleaned it.

I put the grass mats on the floor, the blankets they got in the cupboards, and I line their candles up nicely in the cupboards too. 

I go and get the umqombothi started too. 

We ended up spending a week here because umqombothi takes three days to make and brew properly. The guys slept in that room all week. We slept in the rooms inside the house. But Wehweh and I also made a plan to furnish our duplexes and turn them into homes.

On the day that the umqombothi brewed, it even poured… Tholoana Kingdom rain, I tell you. 

I think it’s safe to say that livumile icamaku.