I haven’t really seen Mnqobi in a while. I mean, I know he still lives here because when I roll over in bed in the middle of the night, he’s sleeping next to me. But when I wake up in the morning, he’s gone. I’ve texted him twice about not reaching Palesa and Banathi, and only on those occasions he replied to my text messages telling me that Palesa is busy. I wonder! 

So today, I’m very shocked to find him still sleeping in bed when I wake up at 8am. I don’t even know if I should get my day started or if I should cuddle up to him and enjoy the fact that he is here with me. I know that we have to take Sasi to her mother today, so I was really hoping that he’d be back from wherever he’s been lately because I have no plans of ever speaking to that witch. 

“Uyaphi?” He mumbles. 

So, he’s not asleep.

“Well, I was just going to get my day started and spend some time on campus”, I say.

“Do you have to?” He asks me.

“I am a student, Mnqobi”, I say.

“I know. But I miss you.” He says.

“I’ve been right here. You are the one that just leaves me here everyday”, I say.

“I had church stuff to attend to, baby”, he says.

You know, sometimes, I feel like he says this just to not tell me what’s going on. We are no longer allowed to know details about the church, so now I just have to hope and accept that when he says he was busy with church stuff, that’s exactly what he’s been doing. 

“So, what plans did you have for us for today?” I ask him, steering away from the church thing. 

“Well, we are meeting up with Banks at his place when dropping Sasi off. Then maybe we can just spend the day together”, he says.

“Uphi umah kaSasi? Phela loyo she never misses an opportunity yokuba isicefe nje loyo”, I say.

“I spoke to Banks about Lindiwe’s inability to be mature when we have to interact for the sake of Sasi. I told him that if it were up to me, I’d never speak to Lindiwe again. So, I asked him if the exchanges could be between us and him, leaving Lindiwe out of it completely. He agreed”, Mnqobi says. 

“Ngiyabonga, sthandwa sami. At least I can also do drop offs and pick ups when you are not available as well”, I say. 

“Yeah. And I’m sorry about everything that you had to endure this far. I’m fixing it. I promise”, he says.

“I believe you. And thank you for considering my feeling in all of this”, I say.

“Thank you for always putting Sasi first. I can’t wait for us to have more kids together… with you as my wife.” He says.

“Actually…” I say.

He looks at me with an inquiring eye.

I take a deep breath then say, “I didn’t want to say anything because of what happened the last time. I’m just so nervous. But… I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widen in shock. 

“But please don’t say anything to anyone, Mnqobi. I just want us to get past the first trimester. Then I’ll be at ease.” I say.

He pulls me into a hug. 

He holds me tightly.

“Not too tightly, please”, I say, laughing. 

He’s also so happy. 

“Your mom thinks it’s a boy”, I say.

“My mom knows?!” He says in shock. 

“Well… you’ve been MIA lately. And I was really scared. My dad is so far away, and I get the feeling that his fiancé doesn’t like my relationship with my dad. So, I went to your mom… plus, you know I’m trying to build with her. She went to the doctor with me. She also gave me something to strengthen my womb. She also said that I must try to not socialise with too many people”, I say.

“I’m so shocked!” He says.

I laugh.

“You?! And Letlali Khuzwayo?!” He says in shock still. 

“Yes! I’m trying to build,okay? And I’ve been a brat. I’ll admit that. And I’m fixing it”, I say.

“I’m proud of you. Thank you”, he says.

I pull out a scan and give it to him. “That’s our baby. We are ten weeks in”, I say. 

He gets emotional. 

I hold his hand. 

“Ngiyabonga, MaRadebe. Ngiyabonga kakhulu. And my mom is right. Inkosana yami le oyithwele”, he says. 

I find myself smiling and rubbing my tummy. 

“I don’t want to lose this baby, Mnqobi”, I confess. 

“We won’t lose this baby, my love. We have to stay positive. Okay?” He says, brushing his lips against mine. 

We are finally up and out of bed. 

I’m packing Sasi’s bag for her visit to her mom for the week ahead. Sasi and Mnqobi are having breakfast. I miss my dad. I really do. And this is one of the things that I wish I could share with him without feeling guilty about it. But hey, my life is what it is right now, and I need to find a way to give my dad space to enjoy his marriage. 

But funny enough, he’s phoning me right now. I smile.

“Sawubona baba”, I answer my phone.

“Nomawethu Radebe. Ngisanendodakazi nje la kuwe? Why have you been so quiet?” He says.

“Ai baba, I don’t know phela when I’m crossing lines with your fiancé. She’s made it very clear that I seem to be a problem between the two of you. I’m trying to give you space”, I say.

He sighs.

“Wehweh, you are my child. Anyone who has a problem with that has a problem with my entire being”, he says.

“Does she know that?” I ask him.

“I’ll speak to her. But please don’t avoid me or create space between us because of this. Please. You are my daughter and that’s that”, he says.

“Hmmmmm… okay. Otherwise, unjani?” I ask him.

“All the better for speaking to you, my daughter. I miss you so much”, he says.

“Me too. Plus, baba, you are going to be a grandpa”, I say.

I hear him laugh from his soul! 

“But please don’t say anything yet. I just want to get past the first trimester. Please. I just couldn’t keep it from you. I’m excited and you know that you are my best friend”, I say.

He’s still laughing.

I’m glad he’s just as happy.

When he’s done laughing, he says, “I obviously wish that you had at least finished school first. But you live with Mnqobi and he’s ready to marry you. It was a matter of time before you got pregnant. Ngiyakuhalalisela Ntombi yami… you and Mnqobi”.

“Ngiyabonga baba”, I say.

“You know that you need to tell your mother, right? And she was upset that she had to hear from me that Mnqobi wants to marry you. You need to forgive her, Nomawethu. Your relationship with her is really hurting her”, he says.

“Dad, I’ll speak to mom.” I say.

“Please try to fix things with her, Wehweh ka baba. Please”, he says.

I take a deep breath.

“Nomawethu?” Him.

“Fine baba. I’ll try”, I say.

“Thank you. Now have a good day. Come home soon. I miss you”, he says.

“I miss you too, baba. I love you”, me.

“I love you too, baby girl”, him.

We end our call. 

–

We get to Banks’ amazing house. He is waiting outside for us as if Mnqobi actually told him that we are here. But I guess with the gate notifying him that we are driving in, he figured he could wait for us outside. 

“Bye daddy. Bye auntie Wehweh. I love you”, Sasi says, kissing us both then jumping out the car. 

“I love you, baby”, I say to her.

Mnqobi jumps out of the car with Sasi. 

He greets Banks, then takes Sasi’s bags out of the boot. Sasi jumps on Banks and says hi. Banks takes her and puts her on his shoulders; after tickling her and telling her how much he misses her. I really respect how much he loves Lindiwe’s kids hey. 

Then I spot Lindiwe’s angry face staring at us through a window located on the third floor of this triple story house. This bitch has issues. 

Mnqobi climbs back in the car then we drive off after we see Banks and Sasi make their way into the house. 

Mnqobi and I end up spending the day literally dating each other. We had lunch at the Morafe Game Lodge, then we went on a game drive together at the Morafe Nature Reserve. It was actually so much fun. We then met up with Banathi and Palesa for dinner and I was super happy because I haven’t seen Palesa in a while. Marriage is treating her well and I’m happy for her. She and Banathi really look good together. We did tell them about the pregnancy, and Palesa got us to pray for the journey ahead. Mnqobi and Banathi actually prayed with us, probably going to an actual church together through prayer. 

…

I have been away for business for a few weeks. Today, I’m back home and I’m excited to see my children and my man. 

I get home and indeed, Si is here. I’m tired. I’m jet-lagged. I’m not in the mood for what I’m seeing before me. There’s a woman here having breakfast with my fiancé! I’m bored! 

I clear my throat. 

“Hey, my love! How are you?! Welcome home!” Si says. How is he this excited to see me when he’s gorgeous side piece is sitting right here. He can see how angry I am. 

“This is Khethiwe. She is Nomawethu’s mother”, he says.

Oh wow! 

I’ve never met this woman before. And Wehweh actually does look like her; took after her body and everything. 

She’s sipping tea from her teacup, focused on me, as if studying me and seeing how I will be handling this. I don’t even know how much influence she has on Si. But she mustn’t even think about coming at me sideways, her own child doesn’t like her. Please! 

“Hi. Slindile”, I say, extending my hand for a handshake to her as I introduce myself.

“Lovely meeting you. Simon has always had quite the eye for beautiful women. You do not drop the bar in the slightest bit”, she says, smugging at me. She’s too old and too irrelevant for what she’s doing. 

The fact that Si is laughing so hard as if this woman has just concluded a comedy show is irritating me so much more. And this woman can see it. And she laughs with him, laughing at me more than laughing with him. 

“So, what brings our visitor here so early in the morning? Asika chithi neyikiki bandla”, I say. 

“Visitor? My darling, I built this house”, she says.

Si laughs. 

Eintlek, what’s so funny?! 

His baby-mama is disrespecting me, and he thinks it’s a comedy show?!

I’m actually getting more and more upset by the minute. 

And girl is laughing AT ME while under the disguise of laughing with him. 

Heh! 

“Si, what is she doing here?!” I ask more aggressively and more sternly now. Because I’m not going to be entertaining this rubbish any longer.

“We are discussing a few things concerning Nomawethu”, he says.

“And that conversation has to happen here? At this time?” I ask. 

“Well, this is Nomawethu’s mother… is it not? And this is Nomawethu’s home, is it not?” Si says.

“Is there a problem?” This woman asks.

“Wena uthule uthi du! Uvele udle ushut up nje because I’m not talking to you!” I snap at her.

“Slindile, behave yourself! Ungenwe yini?! If you are not pushing my daughter away from me, you are doing this rubbish to her mother!” Si says, catching me completely off guard. 

“Excuse me?! Ngimenzeni mina uWehweh?” I ask him.

“You tell me! Because when I speak to my daughter, she suddenly feels like she can no longer phone me as and when she pleases”, he says.

Wehweh and her mother are soooo….

Yerrrr! 

“I’m going to my place. You’ll find me there when you are done”, I say.

He doesn’t even stop me. 

I just leave. 

…

When I get to my place, my kids are already awake and are having breakfast. I’m actually angry hey. I’m so angry! 

“Mom! Hey!” My eldest, Nathan, says. He sees me first. Cleo then also greets me and I receive my babies with so much love. 

“Are you okay?” My daughter, Cleo, asks me.

“I’ll be fine, nana. I’m just jet lagged and exhausted. I just need a good nap. Please.” I say.

“You not going to Si today?” Natha asks me.

“I just need some sleep. Please”, I say then head to my bedroom. At least they still keep it vacant. 

I take a shower and actually get into bed naked. 

You know, my ex-husband was a douche bag. I’m not proud of what I’m about to tell you, but I’m so triggered by what Si did that it’s taken me back to that place. I’m seriously contemplating even leaving Si, because I don’t want to be this person again. 

My ex-husband had a full-on mistress. He pretty much enjoyed life with my money, so I don’t understand what drove him to cheating on me with a fucken Wimpy waitress. We shared a holiday home – which I bought by the way – and he used to hook up with his slut there. We even had matching Range Rovers – that I paid for. Then I found out that he was planning to divorce me, take half of my money and live happily ever after with that whore. Oh, hell no! 

So I went to my house, spiked his whiskey, then left. He drank it and went into deep sleep. While out with my friends, I disappeared for a few hours, murdered the mistress and framed my husband. 

I went back to my friends so that I had a solid alibi. 

My husband was so stressed with telling me about the affair – not realising that I already knew, he didn’t have the capacity to focus on facts. So, he was found guilty and sentenced to twenty-five years. Then, I paid someone inside to kill him. 

He was never going to steal my money – money that he didn’t even work for. If anything, he was ungrateful. He was a disgusting father and even worse husband. 

I don’t want to go there with Jeff. I don’t. So, trust me, we need space right now from each other. 

I’m waking up at 9pm feeling very rested and a lot better than I felt in the morning. I check my phone for anything missed and Si hasn’t even tried to communicate with me. What the hell did that brat of his say to him?! 

Nx! 

I spend the evening catching up with my kids. They update me with whatever is happening in their lives. But it’s not a long conversation because they need to get to bed. They have early start tomorrow morning. 

They leave me in the TV room when they head to bed. I decide to text Si. 

“Hi”, me. 

“Hello”, he replies. 

“What are you up to?” I ask him. 

“Hanging out with Khethiwe”, he says. 

Now I’m livid! 

“At this time?!” My text reads. 

“Yes”, he replies. 

Heh! 

I find sneakers, wear them that speed to his house. I arrive in twenty minutes. 

I let myself in. 

He’s actually drinking whiskey by himself. I’m now the crazy person searching this house like crazy trying to find that woman. He’s in the kitchen unbothered. 

I March back into the kitchen and stare at him. He stares right back at me. 

“What game is this that you are playing?” I ask him.

“Game?! Are you not aware that I have a child named Nomawethu and her mother is very much alive?” He says. He’s even pissed off. I don’t understand. 

“I’m aware”, I say. I want to know where this is going. 

“Were you not aware of this fact when you and I started dating?” Him.

“I was aware”, I say. 

“So how do you explain your behaviour? I can’t come to you to discuss things relating to Nomawethu because you’ve made it clear that you don’t like my child. Now you’ve also got a problem with her mother? What do you want? For me to choose you over them?” He says. 

I want to say yes, but I know that will sink me. 

“I just want boundaries, Si”, I say.

“Boundaries? Ingane yami must have boundaries when communicating with me?! Ubaba’ wakhe?” He’s getting angry now. 

“Si, do you know ukuthi it feels like uWehweh is your wife and I’m just here for sex”, I tell him. 

“UNomawethu is my child. And if you are struggling to understand that, then kungcono sihlukane. My daughter will always come first. Now if we ever have to have this conversation again, I’ll know that you are not for me. Ingane yami can’t even visit me anymore because of you! Is that what they taught you kini? Ukuthi udilize imizi kunokuthi uyiyakhe?!” 

I’m actually crying now. 

He stares at me, then leaves the kitchen. 

I don’t even know if I should leave the house or stay. I don’t even know the thread that my marriage is now hanging on.