It is 10pm and we are on the road. We have to be in Merementse by 2am so we can sleep and get Shaka ready to go and negotiate lobola for Ona with Thabi’s family.
I have offered to drive and Shaka is treating me like I’m driving with a Learner sign on the back of my car. I can actually drive. He just has issues with just sitting and being a passenger. He needs to relax. Luhle is sitting at the back and is watching a movie off her iPad. She is lying on the backseat and watching this. We are driving the Mazarati Levante today. I absolutely love this car. So Shaka knows that every time we take this car, I’m driving. He even changed the number plates on it. The number plates on the car now are “FIFI ZN”. The car that Maboko and Tebza bought for me is nice and big and he loves it, so he drives it more. We have a garage full of luxury cars, but these two are the two that work the most. But when I start feeling bad about having so much money, especially now that I’m unemployed, I drive the C63 Benz. It’s a beautiful navy blue two-door Benz with white interior and I love it. The best part about it is that it’s mine. Luhle drives it sometimes because her car is a Golf 7R. Shaka bought that for her when she turned twenty-one. But she seems to love my car more. I drive her car sometimes too. It’s a nice and fast car. Plus, Shaka pays the speeding fines.

Now he’s on his phone with Mohato and they are talking about how the truck of cows has arrived in Merementse. They are not expecting to be charged more than fifteen cows. They are expecting ten cows because she’s a princess. There should be two cows because she’s a doctor. Two cows because she doesn’t have children. Mohato says they will fight that one because it doesn’t mean she’s pure, it just means she’ll never have kids because she doesn’t have a womb. So he’s not prepared to release a cow for that. Nonsense, I tell you. Then he says they’ll probably want three cows for the fact that Thabi already lives with Ona and nothing was taken out when they took her. Shaka then says that the offer should be fifteen cows and nothing more. So they’ll wait to hear what they want. If they want more than fifteen, the Mohales will say ten. Then negotiations will bring them to fifteen. But if they want fifteen off the go, they’ll give it to them and not negotiate, showing that they respect them and their daughter. Shaka will be leading the negotiations and there are two Mohale uncles with him. Thankfully, his seSotho is very polished thanks to all the years that he has lived in Tholoana Kingdom.

At midnight, we stop at a gas station to fill up our petrol, but to also just stretch. Luhle is asleep. I wake her up and ask her if she wants to go to the restroom. We head to the restroom together and when we get back, Shaka has bought food for us. We actually eat outside of the car, just to get the air and chat.
“Baba, Ntuthuko and Mpumi are going to trial on Monday.” Luhle says.
I look at Shaka.
“I’m aware, baby girl. I’m paying their lawyer.” Shaka says.
I didn’t know that and I will say that I’m happy he’s at least doing something.
“I was wondering if it would be okay with you if I went to KZN so I could be there for their trial. I just want to support them”, Luhle.
“Okay. When were you planning to leave?” Shaka.
“When we get back from Merementse?”
Shaka nods his head.
“You driving or?” Shaka.
“Yes baba, I’ll drive.” Luhle.
Shaka nods his head.
Silence.
I just eat my food.
“So guys, there’s something I need to talk to you guys about.” Shaka says.
Luhle has the BIIIIGGGEEESSSTTT smile on her face. What’s going on? Does she know what this is about?
Shaka laughs at Luhle’s smile. Then he says, “I’ve decided to send a letter to your family, sthandwa sami. I’d like to make you Mrs Maphumulo.”
When did he decide to do this?
Luhle runs to the car then comes back with a bunch of balloons and a champagne bottle.
“Teboho is going to kill you for doing this without her.” Luhle says, but takes out her phone.
Teboho?
She knows?
And she said nothing?
I still haven’t said anything. I’m still in great shock.
Shaka goes down on one knee. I’m not sure what I need to do here. Marcus had a glamorous proposal, but nothing else happened after that. Shaka is proposing at midnight, at a gas station… we have Steers in front of us and the only fancy thing here are balloons, champagne and his favourite daughter.
“Refiloe, my love, my darling, sthandwa senhliziyo yami… please marry me, sthandwa sami?” He says and pulls out a ring.
Luhle is screaming. I start laughing. I’m shocked and happy at the same time. The ring is STUNNING! It’s a protea flower diamond ring. It’s something that only Zithulele would find in his pool of diamond plugs. He probably organised this.
“Yes, my love. Yes, I’ll marry you.” I finally say.
He smiles at me and gets up from the ground and hugs me.
“You are supposed to slide the ring on my finger”, I say, laughing.
“Oh ja”, he says. He quickly slides the ring onto my finger then kisses me, hugging me in pure happiness. Luhle is SCREAMING! Hai bo! She’s so happy.
Now I’m crying. I don’t know why. I just am.
They both laugh at me for crying. Mxm! Wow. I’m getting married.

We are on the road again and Shaka is driving now because my engagement is sinking in slowly but surely.
Tebza phones me and when I answer, she’s screaming and says, “CONGRATULATIONS!!!!”
Luhle has shared videos that quickly?
“Thank you!”
“When are you getting here?” She asks.
“Another hour or so. We will see you now now.” I say.
Then I hear her, Lulu and Letlali ululating. Shaka laughs. Luhle is ululating from the backseat.
“We are finally going to have a Zulu wedding. Letlali and Zithulele still owe us.” Someone says.
We all laugh.
“Okay, get here. No one is sleeping. We are waiting for you.” Tebza.
“We are coming”, I say.
We hang up.
Shaka and I look at each other.
“When did you plan this?” I ask him.
“A year ago, when I met you and we chose to start this journey together.” He says.
Now he’s smooth.
This guy!

…

3:15am.

We finally arrive at the lodge that we have all booked at in Merementse. It is a ten minute drive away from Thabi’s family home and the royal quarters.
Luhle walks out and starts ululating, bringing people outside who are now also ululating. I really wanted to sleep. But hey, I’m smiling and I’m saying thank you to everyone who is congratulating me. Why is everyone not sleeping? I don’t understand. It’s 3:15am.

We are finally in our room. He has to shower and get dressed to do his chief mkhongi duties. I’m going to sleep. But I shower with him and allow him to lift me up inside the shower and put me against a wall. I’d be scared to fall and break something, but we’ve done this before and Shaka has very strong legs.
We are moaning and enjoying each other within minutes. We don’t take long before we are both very happy and our bodies are thanking us for that release.

He dresses up into his suit and just make sure that he looks as handsome as I know him to be. At 3:45am, someone knocks on our door and we just know that it’s time. I’m going to sleep.

6:00am
My phone is vibrating and I’m slightly annoyed because I’m deep in sleep. I reach for my phone and when I answer with a yawny hello, I hear ululating in the background.
“Sthandwa sami. Sekulungile.” He says.
As the chief mkhongi’s wife, I should go and ululate outside so they all know that everything went well. But I’m in bed. Asleep.
“Okay baby. I’ll go ululate outside.” I say.
He laughs.
“Vuka baby, you guys need to get ready. We are on our way back.”
As we chat on the phone, I wake up, roll out of bed, wear a gown. By the time he says goodbye, I step out of my room. Everyone is kind of seated on benches outside my room. They look at me as if waiting for me to deliver a message.
I ululate. Ona is relieved and morena is happy. Kea is also happy. Now Luhle, Teboho, Letlali, Lulu and I are ululating and running up and down as if announcing to the whole world that the negotiations went well. It’s actually nice. We start singing as well and Ona actually gets into the circle and starts dancing.

Now I’m getting ready for the wedding. We are wearing brown seshweshwe-patterned outfits. Thabi’s family will be wearing yellow seshweshwe-patterned outfits. Our men are wearing suit pants and blazer jackets made out of sanna marena blankets. They look so nice. Even Shaka is doing this seSotho thing so well. We are wearing dresses that have this pattern and doeks.
I’m touching up my makeup now and as we hear singing outside, Shaka says to me, “You look beautiful, my love.”
“Thank you, baby”.
We hold hands and go outside, joining the festivities happening. The goats and sheep have arrived as well and this is what we will use to enter their gates. The van with them leads us to our makoti’s home. Shaka is driving ahead with the groom. I’m sitting at the backseat with Luhle. Shaka starts that hooting thing and the rest of the cars follows. The entire Merementse community is out and here to see their princess marry away to the next king of Tholoana Kingdom. We are also led by bodyguards as we are within this procession. Ona is feeling so nervous. I’d think he’d be happy. He has a suit on, his hat and sanna marena worn over his suit.

“Is Ona okay?” I get a text from Kea.
“He seems nervous.” I reply.
“I can never get used to my sons becoming people’s husbands.” Her.
“As good looking as they are? Really?” Me.
She sends me a sticker of someone laughing hysterically.
“You did a great job with them. We are all proud and happy.” I text her.
“Thank you. For the kind words. For the support. And just always being there.” She texts me.
“Always and forever.” I text back.

We are not friends. But we are there for each other and when we are together, we know how to be the mama bears around here.
“These sanna marena things are hot, man. Umuntu uyonuka ikhwapha la.” Shaka says.
We all laugh.
Why must he be this person?
“Don’t you have to wear it again when you go get your wife?” Ona says as he laughs.
“I just had to get a moSotho woman abeZulu bagcwele kangaka?” Shaka.
“Khotso loved them Zulu until Lulu came around.” Ona.
“There’s a reason for that, hey.” Shaka says.
I clear my throat.
Everyone laughs.
“But you are it for me, my love.” He says.

Now the community has blocked the roads, we cannot move forward with our car. Imagine. The bodyguards are the ones who move them away as we hoot to show that we have the groom with us.
They finally let us come through and we drive to park right outside the gate of the makoti’s home.

As we come out our cars, I start ululating. Kea joins me and we are the ones who start singing. People join us, even people from the community join us. The groom steps out the car and it is ululating upon ululating and singing upon singing. The sheep and goats are offloaded and it just roars with singing and dancing. Kea and I actually are ring leaders in this. Like I don’t know what to say except, KUMNANDI LA!
Now the bride’s family approaches us with a song. Thabi looks BEAUTIFUL. Even Ona is blown away.
“She is gorgeous!” I say to him.
“Right?” Him.
“You did amazing.”
“Such a pity. We would have made stunning kids.” He says.
“Make peace, abuti. It’s not happening. Look forward to everything else except that.” I say.

The gate opens and we are let in, being led in by baSotho traditional dancers. Listen here, this is a party. Now that Ona’s hand has joined forces with Thabi’s hand, my fiancé’s job as umkhongi is done. So, he comes back to me. Now, I have a date. We are now holding hands and we are dancing together to celebrate this momentous occasion.

We are finally seated at some tent. I’m feeling a bit sick. I feel a bit light-headed and nauseous. Yes, I am pregnant. But I haven’t told Shaka yet. I’m not sure if I even want this child because we just have way too much drama with the kids we do have. Two could possibly be going to jail and I just feel as if I’m replacing Mason. I don’t know. I just don’t feel good about the child I’m carrying.
“Are you okay?” Shaka asks me.
“I’m just feeling a bit –
He looks at me.
“I’m pregnant.” I say.
He stares at me.
I stare at him.
“Are you serious?” He asks me.
I nod my head.
He smiles at me.
He pulls me in for a hug. I feel worse.
“Shaka, I feel like shit. I’ll vomit all over you. I just need water. Please.” I say.
He gets up. I guess he’s going to organise water for me.
He is back after a few minutes and he has a bottle of water. I open it and just gulp that water. He is still in shock and he doesn’t believe that this child is coming.

“When did you find out?” He asks me.
The speeches have started by the way.
“About a month ago.” I say
“Why are you only telling me now?”
“Because Shaka, we’ve had a lot on our plate. Ntuthuko and Nompumelelo on one hand needed you. I worry about how all this is affecting Luhle. Then I also just felt like I’m replacing Mason. I don’t want to feel like I’m replacing my son.”
He looks at me with concern.
“I’m sorry. I just –
“I thought we spoke about this thing of yours of going through things alone. I thought we spoke about you coming to me with things like this.”
“We did. And we were always going to talk about it. I was wrapping my head around it myself. I’m thirty-eight years old and I’m pregnant for the first time. I don’t exactly know the protocol of dealing with this. I didn’t think I’d still have kids okay? And now, I’m feeling things I don’t understand and my emotions control my every decision. I should be preparing for menopause, not for a new baby.”
He shakes his head, chuckling but unimpressed.
“Ngicela singalwi. Please.” I say.
“No, Refiloe. Sizolwa if you continue shutting me out like this. Who knows about this pregnancy?” He asks.
“Just me. I haven’t told anyone.” I say.
“Are you sure?”
I nod my head.
He wants to show me that he’s relieved, but he also wants me to know that he’s unimpressed. He’s quite upset.
“I’m sorry, baby. Askies Mashimane.” I say then I rub his hand up my thighs.
He smiles at me.
“Ngiyakuthanda babakhe”, I say.
“Ngiyakuthanda mamakhe”, he says then kisses me.
I love this man.
I know he loves me too.

We are served food now then my phone rings. I check the caller ID and it’s a correctional services number. I show Shaka. He looks at me. We both get up and make our way to the car. I answer my phone on my way there and I put my phone on speaker.
“Hello?” Me.
“Hi, sis’Fifi.” It’s Ntuthuko.
“Hi Ntuthuko. Are you okay?” Me.
“I’m okay, sisi. I wanted to check up on you and baba. Ni-right?”
Where is this coming from?
“We are fine, Ntuthuko. Wena u-right?” I ask.
“I’m fine. Sisi, I spoke to the lawyer that baba got for us. We agreed that we would plead guilty. There is a plea deal. Bathe if we plead guilty, we would get a lighter sentence and we would be able to go and serve our sentence in Tholoana Kingdom close to you and baba. Will you come and visit us?”
I’m actually moved. Shaka can see it. He is staring at me. I look at Shaka.
“Yebo, bafana. We will come and see you.” Shaka says.
Ntuthuko is silent. Then he says, “Ngiyabonga. And again, ngiyaxolisa baba.”
“It’s okay. Get all the help you need inside, Ntuthuko. Both of you. Don’t waste what could come out of this. If you do well and take advantage of being rehabilitated, I promise you… I’ll help you start up when you come out.” Shaka says. My phone is in his hands now.
“Ngiyabonga baba. I’ll be better. I promise.” He says and he sounds quite emotional.
Then he says, “Baba nawe sis’Fifi. Luhle told me about your engagement. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. We wish you were here to celebrate with us.” I say.
“I’ll come out. I won’t be inside forever.”
“We look forward to you coming out.” I say.
“And…
Silence.
“Silalele Ntuthuko?” Shaka.
“Ngimithisile.” He says.
Shaka shakes his head.
“Kuphi Ntuthuko?” Shaka asks.
“EMtubatuba. The girl came to see me. She’s about eight months pregnant now.” He says.
“Why bangalethanga isisu?” Shaka enquires.
“I don’t know. She says she’s leaving to go live in Johannesburg. She says she will take the child with her. Is there a way that you could please help her by sending her money monthly?” He says.
“Kumele alethe isisu. I’m not doing anything until her family does the right thing. It’s how we do things. Tell her ukuthi kumele alethe isisu. We will take it from there.” Shaka.
“Okay. Ngiyabonga, baba. Ngiyabonga sis’Fifi. I have to go now. My money is up. Luhle said she’ll buy me airtime then I’ll phone you and update you on everything.” He says.
“Okay. How do we buy you airtime? I can also get you some.” I say.
“At PEP. Just tell them you need airtime for someone in prison. They’ll give it to you. I’ll phone you on the day you buy it then you give me the pin. Then I load it. But please buy me about one hundred rands of airtime. I also sell it here. It’s my way of making money.” He says.
Shaka giggles and shakes his head.
“Okay. I’ll buy it for you tomorrow. Phone me anytime after tomorrow.” I say.
“Okay. Ngiyabonga sis’Fifi. Bye.”
“Bye bafana.” Shaka.
The line goes dead.
Shaka and I look at each other. He gets emotional. I just hug him. I know he needs this hug right now. He lets me be there for him.
“We will get through this, baby. You’ll see.”

It is 10pm and I’m feeling super sleepy now. There is a party happening and everyone is drunk and inappropriate.
“I’m going back to our chalet.” I say to Shaka.
“Already?” He is also drunk.
I nod my head.
“Okay ke, let’s go.” He says.
We hold hands and make it to the car. I see Ona and Thabi standing at the car.
“And then?” I ask them.
“We are waiting for you. You are our ride. We are tired and we want to sleep.” Ona.
Okay…
“Thabi, your bags?” I ask.
“Lulu and Khotso left with them already.” Thabi says.
“They are also gone?” Me.
They nod their heads.
We get into our car and we leave. We actually are the last to leave.
We are at the lodge in ten minutes and they disappear to Ona’s room. We disappear into ours.

As I get into bed and plan to sleep, my phone rings. It’s a correctional services number again. Shaka is asleep. When he’s drunk, he sleeps very quickly.
“Hello?” Me.
“Good evening. Is this Mrs Maphumulo?” Some lady says.
I’m not sure how to respond to this.
“Hello?” The lady.
“Yes.” I just say.
“Okay. Ma’am, I’m Thandokuhle Shezi from ABC correctional services. You have been listed as the next of kin for Nompumelelo Maphumulo.”
I am?
“Okay… Is everything okay?” Me.
“Unfortunately not, ma’am. Nompumelelo was involved in a fight in her cell earlier today. She was rushed to hospital because she had serious injuries. Unfortunately ma’am, she succumbed to her injuries and has passed away.”
I hang up immediately.
My hands are shaking.
I’m not sure what to do.
I look at Shaka. I don’t even know if I should wake him up.

I get out of bed, wear a gown then jog to Tebza’s and Maboko’s room. I knock on there and yell, “Guys please open. It’s an emergency, please.”
Their door opens. Khotso also steps outside. Mohato and Kea also step outside. My phone will not stop vibrating.
They all look at me. I didn’t realise that I’m even crying.
“Nompumelelo is dead. The prison won’t stop calling me and I don’t know how to tell Shaka.” I’m shaking and crying.
Morena takes my phone and answers it. He is the one dealing with the logistics of what needs to happen next.
Luhle walks out.
“Is everything okay?” She asks me.
I look at her.
I cry.
I don’t know what to do. I really don’t know what to do.

Morena gives me my phone then heads to my room. I think he’s going to tell Shaka. I should be there. I take Luhle with me and we go in the room.
Shaka is awake. He’s drinking water. He looks at us. Morena looks at me. I look at him.
“Yini babe?” Shaka asks me.
I look away.
“It’s Nompumelelo. She got into a fight inside the prison. She got badly hurt. She was rushed to the hospital. She has succumbed to her injuries. She’s gone, Maphumulo.” Morena says.
Luhle screams and falls to her knees. I try to comfort her then I see Shaka crying as well. Mohato is comforting him. Now, everyone is coming into our room. Luhle is still extremely hysterical.
“Should I inject them to –
“If you bring a needle anywhere near me –
Shaka mara.
But Thabi does sedate Luhle and we are able to all pack and unfortunately leave the place. I’m driving the car with Luhle and Shaka. Luhle is asleep. Shaka is sad. Hurt. Disappointed. I’m trying to be strong for everyone, but it’s just not easy. Mohato told me that we must go to the government hospital that she passed away at. We have to identify the body then have it stored at an undertaker. But an undertaker from Tholoana Kingdom will meet us there and take her body so she could come back with us and we can bury her here.
“Are you okay?” Shaka asks me.
I nod my head.
“Please remember that you are pregnant.” He says.
“We’ve just lost a child, Shaka and –
“I don’t want to lose another one. Ngiyakucela. Please keep the one that you are carrying in mind at all times. Please.” He says.
I’m not even going to fight with him. At this point, it’s not even worth it. Honestly.

…

Luhle and Shaka are the ones who went and identified her. Now the undertaker has taken her and we have to find a place to just sleep.
But I’m not feeling well. I’m really not.
We are outside a hotel and the men are paying for rooms. I’m in the car and I’m struggling with the pain that I’m experiencing.
“Are you okay?” Thabi asks me..
Do I look okay?!
“I’m pregnant. Please help me. Please.” I say.
Everyone is shocked.
Thabi reclines my seat.
For someone who is not a doctor anymore, she always has a first aid kit with her and the first aid kit is always fully equipped.
She is doing something to me as I struggle with the pain.
“Please, give me something for the pain.” I beg through my yelling.
“I can’t. I could hurt the baby. We need to get to a hospital.” She says.
Teboho is now in my driving seat. Lulu and Thabi are in the backseat. My seat is still reclined. They rush me to the hospital.
“Please, I don’t want to lose my child. Please!” I keep saying as I cry.
“Breathe. Please just try to breathe.” Thabi.
“I can’t!” I say. I cannot stop crying.
“Fifi, close your eyes. Close them. Please. Just trust me.” Thabi.
I close my eyes.
“Take a deep breath in.”
I try, but I’m also crying.
“Trust me. Stop crying. Try for the baby. Deep breath in…”
I breathe in.
“Release through your nose”, she says.
I release.
“Again…”
We do this until we get to a hospital.

I wake up in a ward and Shaka is next to me. He is looking at me. I look around and my room is full.
“The baby?” I ask.
“It’s still there. It’s still okay. How are you?” Shaka asks me.
I start crying again.
“Don’t cry. Please. The baby is okay.” He says as he kisses me.
I nod my head.
“Where’s Thabi?” I ask.
“I’m here”, she says as she walks towards me.
“Thank you for helping me. Truly, thank you”, I say.
She smiles at me.
A nurse walks in. She checks my vitals.
“The doctor said we should phone him when you wake up. So, I’ll go do that. But you have to be on bedrest for two weeks.” She says.
I look at her.
“I can’t be on bedrest for two weeks. I have to bury my child.” I say.
“You could lose this child if what happened today happens again. The doctor is keeping you here for the next four days anyway.”
“No no no… I need to go home. I need to –
“Baby…”
I look at Shaka.
He kisses my forehead then says, “Please, save our child. Please.”
“I’ll stay here with you.” Tebza says.
I get emotional again.
“It’s for the best. Please.” Shaka says.
I feel so discouraged. What a heavy day.