I love being back at home. I missed my family. LA was great and everything, but there truly is no place like home. 

Khanya was able to get back to work as soon as we got here. I asked him to also help me get my stores and line back on track while I’m on maternity leave. Khabane is helping him, and they have been incredible. We’ve really been through a lot. 

Khanyisa miscarried a baby, and when they had to clean her womb, they found that her womb had a growing cancerous growth. She and Khabane took the decision that they are done with having kids and she removed her womb. Khanyi was obviously sad. She’s really wanted a baby girl since forever. She had hope that I’d have a girl, but my kid is a boy. My mom keeps laughing at us. Khanyi and Khabane also moved in with my parents after Khanyi’s surgery, so yes, it’s been a full house. But my parents seem to be enjoying it. With losing Uncle Zee and Uncle Ona (plus Tholoana and Mohale), family has taken a whole new meaning in our lives. 

We are all having breakfast together right now. My dad has Ntando in his arms. He better not burn my child with food because he can actually put that child down – neither of them will die from Ntando sleeping peacefully in his crib. My mom and I have given up this fight. This is not even his first grandchild, so we don’t understand why he’s behaving like this. Khanya keeps saying we should let him be. Mxm. 

“So, mom and dad… I’ve been needing to ask you for this full story because what’s online is quite disturbing. I want to hear it from you.” I say.

Khanya shakes his head at me. He knows what I want to know, and he keeps saying I must let it go. His mom told me a very hurtful version of this story, so I want to hear it from my parents.

Khabane and Khanyisa look at me with PROPER interest. My parents look at me with confusion. 

“Who is Linda Khumalo-Seete?” I ask. 

My dad is immediately annoyed. 

My mom looks… I don’t know. 

My mom takes a deep breath and says, “I always knew that one day I’d have to talk to you guys about this.” 

“Ruri, is there a reason why you are invested in this person? Because this is not the first time you are asking about her.” My dad says. 

My brother looks at my dad like he knows what I’m asking.

“It’s fine, Maboko. Let’s just get this out the way. And at least you are here, so you can add whatever I may leave out. You knew her better”, my mom.

My dad looks hurt.

Okay, so this is obviously a painful part of their history. 

“It’s not a secret that I wasn’t rich when I was growing up. I wasn’t poor neither. I lived in a township, yes, but both my parents were professionals, and we could afford life. It’s just that compared to those kids I went to high school with, I was not rich. I was there on a scholarship and the uniform was too expensive for me to buy brand new, so I got my uniform from the second-hand store. I was labelled ‘scholarship’ – as was every other child who was at that school through hard work and not because our parents could buy us into that place. No offence”, she says, looking at my dad. 

My dad just laughs and says, “o re tlwayela hampe mara watsiba”.

We all laugh.

“In case you haven’t figured it out, your dad was the rich and wealthy guy who was best friends with the royal princes of the kingdom; one of those who made us scholarship people feel like we didn’t belong in that place.” My mom says.

“That is a very unfair statement. I married you! Clearly, I didn’t view you that way”, my dad says.

We are all still laughing. 

“Linda was one of the rich people. And she was in a relationship with your father –

“Correction, we were friends with benefits”, my dad says.

My brother and Khanya laugh.

Bahlekani?! 

“Well, whatever you were… she thought the two of you were headed for marriage and I was the problem. She hated me. She accused me of sleeping with your father to get out of poverty – which was very offensive because 1. I actually had brains to get myself out of anything I didn’t want to be in, and 2. I was not poor. 

Her fling with your dad just never stopped. Your father continuously cheated on me with her. I reached my first limit when your father was in tertiary, and I was still in high school. At the time, we miscarried a baby and aborted another one. I was pregnant with twins. I couldn’t have those babies at the time. My relationship with your father was just too chaotic, Linda was still a very significant part of his life, and I was not prepared to have a baby at the age of fifteen while your father was living it up with Linda in tertiary. I think we just couldn’t get past the miscarriage and abortion, and his sex with Linda comforted him way much more than I could ever do so with the pain that I was going through.”

We look at my dad because he was actually a trash boyfriend. But also, we had siblings? I see my mom holding tears back. My dad can’t even look at her… or us. Khanya and Khanyisa don’t know how to be.

My mom continues, “I reached my final limit when I was in tertiary and your father was working. We shared an apartment at the time. We decided to try again because after being apart for over five years, we still loved each other. But his thing with Linda never ended. And I walked in on them having sex in our apartment and on a bed that I shared with him.” 

“Dad, what the hell?!” I snap because this is just trash behaviour. 

My dad is quiet.

“So, I packed my things, and I left. I went to LA with the intention to start over. Fortunately, I found work quite quickly, then I found out that I was expecting Khabane. I didn’t tell your dad. I wanted to forget about him. And I was prepared to raise Khabane on my own – which I did for about five years. Then I saw that your dad and Linda were getting married. Hurt as I was, I didn’t want to go down without a fight. Linda gave me hell throughout my entire relationship with Maboko, and I wasn’t going to allow her to just get married in peace. It was my turn to be what she had been to me when I was trying to have peace in my love for your dad. So yes, I’ve never confessed this to you, Maboko, but I did come back to stop your wedding. And I knew that having your baby would do the trick. However, your dad only found out that I was back on the day of his wedding, and even though he was three hours late for his wedding because he was with me, he still went through with the wedding.” My mom is actually calculated and hectic. But the younger version of my dad was trash. And I’m glad that Linda bitch is dead. Else, I’d have used the church to kill her myself. 

“Dad, did you love this woman or something? I mean, why was she so… always your weak spot?” Khabane asks him. Good! I’m glad it’s Khabane that’s asking. 

“Look guys, I wasn’t perfect, I’ll admit that. And I’ll also admit that I met the love of my life way too early in my life. I was eighteen years old when I first laid eyes on Tebza – though young and irresponsible at the time, I knew she’d be the mother of my children and my wife one day. At that age, I was no where near being responsible or intentional with my decisions. I treated her great, but with time and some growing up, I realised that the things that I did in her absence mattered too. Linda was not the only person that I was cheating with. And I know that it’s no justification, but this is me answering Bane’s question. Linda wasn’t special. I didn’t love her. She was just one of many.” My dad says. 

We all look at my mom. She looks like she wants to punch my dad.

“Look, I’ll never apologise enough for what I put you through, T. And I’ll never apologise enough for not choosing you all the times that you felt like I chose Linda. I know now that I shouldn’t have gone through with the wedding to her after that day that we met again, and you told me about Khabane. And I’m sorry that I did.” My dad says to my mom.

“So, why did you and Linda get a divorce?” I ask him.

“She knew that our marriage was over the minute she found out that Tebza was back. And she knew that she stood no chance against a child that I shared with the love of my life. And she fought. Linda was a fighter. A huge one. She wanted Khabane to do DNA tests – which Tebza did do and, from what I understand, literally threw the DNA results at Linda. Then she wanted me to just pay maintenance but not have a relationship with Bane. That was out of the question. And when I made that clear, she started sleeping with one of my friends. So, I filed for a divorce.” My dad says.

“So, if Linda didn’t cheat on you, you would’ve never married mom?” I ask him.

“I would have. I was already living with your mom and Bane back at our apartment – the one that she left me in – before Linda even stepped out on me.” My dad says.

There is now a silence at the table.

“Do you have any more questions, Ruri?” My mom asks me.

I shake my head. 

“Khabane?” My mom.

“Why did you want to divorce dad when Auntie Meh came to the kingdom?” Khabane asks my mother. 

That happened? Really?! Why don’t I know?! 

“Auntie Meh’s mother is Linda… Linda Khumalo-Seete. She was told that her father is Maboko. I was not prepared to raise Linda’s child. I just don’t need anything that will take me back to that place where Linda was just always a thing when Maboko and I were trying to love each other. So, if Phumelele was indeed Maboko’s love child with Linda, I would have never been able to forgive it. But, it turned out that she is your grandfather’s child”, my mom says.

“So, on a scale of 0 to what the fuck, how much of a slut was this Linda person?” I ask. 

Everyone is quiet. Then my mom says, “I just want you to see, Maboko, what you compromised me for.” 

Now the mood is tense. 

“Anyway, I told Meh that she can ask you about Linda. I have nothing good to say about her – for obvious reasons – but if you couldn’t shake her off for so long, there may be some qualities that were positive about her. You have my permission to talk to her about those qualities, just make sure that I’m no where around when you do.” My mom says this then gets up from her chair and leaves the kitchen. 

My dad stares at me for a while, then gets up and follows my mom. 

“Can we never talk about this again, Ru? Please. Just let it go”, Khabane says to me.

“I wanted to know”, I say.

“Why? How does it affect your life?” He asks me. 

I’m quiet. 

“You have a family now – a husband and a child. Focus on them and just butt out of Mom’s and dad’s shit. They’ve worked through their stuff. There’s no need to keep taking them back”, Khabane says.

Everyone looks at me like I was being funny. My dad is the douche here, not me! 

…

My day is quite slow.

I’m mostly spending time with Ntando. I love spending time with him and being his mom. And I’m so glad that his father is so good looking because my son is the spitting image of his father. There are days where he looks like my dad, my brother and Khabane’s boys, but most days he is his father’s son. 

I love Khabane’s boys to bits, so I’ve always known that I’d enjoy being a mother. But when Ntando was born, I reached a new level of love. I’m obsessed with him. And I’d do this pregnancy thing over and over again. 

I’m breastfeeding him now and watching him look at me with those beautiful small eyes of his – his father’s eyes. Khanyi is asleep. Her boys are at school. My parents went out. Khabane has also gone out. Khanya is at work. 

The nanny and I had a fight. And I actually want to fire her. My mom has been saying that this woman gives her the creeps because she behaves like Ntando is her baby. She never wants to give me my child when I ask for him. Which is weird. Give me my baby, bitch! 

Today, she didn’t want me to bath my own child. She literally pushed me out of the way and started playing with my kid in the bathtub. I threatened to kill her. It seemed to have worked because she stepped aside, and I bathed my baby.

Then, she saw the outfit that I had prepared for him, put it back in his closet and chose another outfit for him. The fuck! 

So, I phoned Khanya and told him what this woman did. He said he would come back home with her salary for the next six months withdrawn from the bank plus taxi fair, and she must fuck off! This is unacceptable. He asked me if I’d be okay without a nanny. I told him that I’ll be fine. So now, this witch is walking around the house giving me side eyes. I’m even too scared to take a nap. She will steal my child. 

…

Ruri hates our nanny. I won’t lie, she creeps me the fuck out too. When Ruri is not around, she makes her uniform tighter and shorter. I haven’t told this to Ruri because Ruri can be quite dangerous. But I’m glad that the nanny is leaving today. I’ve had enough of her, and I’ve had enough of Ruri complaining about her every single day. I told Khabane what this nanny does when Ruri is not around, and Khabane laughed at me. Then he told me that the nanny who used to look after his boys once stepped in the shower with Banathi. Banathi packed her shit and put her on a bus to Zimbabwe to never return. Then she told Khanyi that she caught the nanny stealing money, so he fired her. He said he could never bring himself to telling Khanyi what happened because even he was embarrassed. And I get it. I feel so sexually harassed. But as a man, you can’t say things like that. But after he told me this, I realised that my problems had not got to that stage yet. I’m glad that she’s leaving so that things never get to that level.

I park my car in the driveway. I see that people are not back home yet. 

I step into the house, and I find Ruri carrying Ntando in his baby carrier. The nanny is crying while sitting on the couch next to her packed bags. I want to ask what happened, but I figure that maybe I must give this woman her money and a lift to the bus station, then be done with this situation. 

“Is she ready to go? I can drop her off at the –

“Drop her off where?! And for what? She can walk”, Ruri says to me. 

Eh! 

What did they fight about?! 

“Ru, kuyanetha phandle.” I say, trying to plead this woman’s case.

“Manje? Akuna mvula eMalawi? Uqala ukuyibona la eTholoana?” Ruri is so viscous! And her tone when she speaks Zulu is even more vicious! 

“Ru –

“Hai suka!” Ru says as she grabs the envelope of money from me and charges to the nanny.

“Christina, take! This should get you back home and see you through a few months. Thank you for your services”, Ru says as she gives the nanny the money. I didn’t even know her name.

The nanny gets up, accepts the money, takes her bags and heads to the door.

“Is there anything that I can do to save my job?” The nanny asks us.

“No. There’s nothing.” Ruri says. She’s so cold. 

“But madam –

“Ey ey! Christina! You are wasting our time. Our appointment with Mam’Thandeka is in an hour and it’s raining outside. We don’t want to be in traffic”, Ruri says. 

What appointment with Mam’Thandeka now?! Uthini lo muntu?! 

“Can I get a lift?” The nanny asks. 

Ruri looks at her, ready to tell her shit. 

But she walks to the door instead and calls one of the gardeners. She asks him if he’s headed home yet. The gardener says yes, then Ruri asks him to leave Christina at the bus station and make sure she’s on a bus out of Tholoana Kingdom. The gardener agrees.

–

Ruri arranged for she, Ntando and I to see my mom in prison today – so my mom could meet my son. You know, this is why I love Ruri so much. I know for a fact that Ruri doesn’t like my mother. I know! But Ruri will always consider how certain things make me feel and she will always put that first. Always. I love my mom. I prefer to love her from far because I’m not blind to the fact that uyahlupha! But she’s my mother. And it did hurt me that she didn’t know my son. 

On our drive here, Ruri told me that she asked her dad to make sure that my mom is comfortable and protected inside. I know that what my mom did, many would die for in this country. But to have such a considerate wife who basically says “that’s still my family”, is everything to me. I know that I’m not lost here. And quite frankly, I’m ready to bring my cows to the Seetes. I always thought I’d wait for her to graduate first. But soooo much has happened. And now we are parents. It doesn’t feel right that the Seetes accommodate me the way that they do, and I’m not even honouring their daughter (who has given me my first son) the right way. 

I’d ask Khosini to deliver the lobola letter for me, but he and my grandmother have not spoken to me since my mother got arrested. And it’s fine. I’ll just phone my dad’s mother in eShowe and ask her to make sure that I do right by the love of my life the right way. 

“Yaze yafana noNkosinathi nay’ ingane”, my mom keeps saying as she holds my son in her arms. She’s even getting emotional. 

“But look at his nose and that hair… that is your nose and hair through and through… even his hands”, Ruri says to my mom.

My mom even laughs as tears sprint down her face. 

“He’s perfect. Siyabonga, Ruri. Usebenzile, MaSeete”, my mom says to Ru. 

Im glad she’s behaving. I’m glad she’s also realising that she’d be executed by now. She is still breathing because Ruri pleaded for her life. 

“Khanya named him Ntandoyomuzi. It’s long and I’m Sotho. So, we all just call him Ntando”, Ruri tells my mom.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to give him a name as well”, my mom says.

Ruri looks at me for permission, begging me to not deny my mother this opportunity. I don’t understand why Ruri is not begging me to defend her from my mom. My mom has never been nice to her. Why is Ruri so thoughtful and so nice?

“Lithin’ igama?” I ask her.

She smiles at me then says, “Okwenkosi”. 

Wow! 

“What does that mean?” Ruri asks my mother. 

“That which is of and from God. And that which is of a king”, my mom explains. 

“Yoh! I want that to be his first name. But I’ll just call him Nkosi. His dad will explain the rest”, Ruri says, and we laugh. 

I love my woman, man. 

“That would be nice.” I say. I agree that should be his first name. 

“I’ll organise with home affairs to adjust his birth certificate”, Ru says.

“Okay. But your parents must also give us a name”, I insist. 

“They’d be very happy to do that”, Ru says. And she’s actually excited. 

Now Ru tells my mom about her drama with the nanny. My mom is laughing so hard. It’s nice to see them like this. And it’s so big of Ru to be this way for and with my mom. I’ll never stop being appreciative of this. 

When we are told that time is up, Ru gives my mom a photo of Ntando. My mom holds the photo close to her heart. 

“Can you please arrange for Khosini to come and see me? Apparently, he tried, and he was denied”, my mom asks Ru.

“I’ll see what I can do”, Ru says.

I take Nkosi from her then hold her hand. As my mom is led back to her cell, I lead Ruri out of this prison. 

We get to the car, and I start crying. 

She actually doesn’t even ask me what’s wrong. She just holds my hand. She’s sitting in the backseat with Nkosi. Nkosi is strapped in a car seat. So, Ruri holds me. 

“She’s your mother, Khanya. That will always come first”, she says to me.

“I don’t deserve you, Ru. My life is such a mess. Look at the chaos that my family is. I’m so ashamed.” I tell her.

“Yet Nkosi and I love you so much. You make us perfect.” She says. 

I know she’s trying to keep me together, but I’m falling apart. 

Now she holds me tighter. We hang on to each other until Nkosi starts cooing. She attends to him, then I hit the road. We drive in silence back to the Seete home. I park the car in front of the gate.

“Maybe we can spend the night at your duplex today. That is our home,and we still have it”, Ruri says.

I think she understands that I do need to be alone and not be with her family that reminds me of all the love and support that I don’t have in my own life. 

“Thank you”, I sincerely say to her, and we drive off. 

When we get to this place, it’s clean. The lights are on, curtains are closed, and a meal is cooked for us. 

There’s also two helpers here. I look at Ru. For a short person, she’s very organised, sneaky and bossy.

“I asked my mom to organise help for us and set up here. Nkosi is over a month now. I think we can manage. It’s not fair that you have to live with my parents. So, our things were brought back here throughout the day. The helpers are from the royal house – one of them is Zulu so Nkosi can speak his language well. His nursery is also set up, but it has Ntando written on it. I’ll have it changed tomorrow. With the domestic workers, I think I’ll be able to manage with Nkosi until I decide if I want a nanny or not”, she says.

I hug her. 

What did I ever do to deserve her? 

I need to marry her as in yesterday. 

We come out of the hug. 

“Hey… I love you. Nkosi and I are your second chance at a family. And this is a family that you are creating, so you get to choose – as the head of this house – how you want our story to be written. But just know that we love you and we are led by you. You are everything to us”, she says.

I kiss her. 

I think I’m just so overwhelmed with emotion right now. Not even my mother has ever considered my feelings like this. This one… my underground gang sent her to me intentionally.