If there’s one thing that Phuthi knows how to do, it’s to make sure that I have a full cardio session in bed with her. I’m still trying to catch my breath as I lie next to her when she says, “Baby…”
“Yes, Mrs Mohale?”
“I need you to back off.”
What is she saying now? We just had sex. How are we about to enter into an argument? 
“Back off from what now?” I ask her.
“Rena.” 
Okay I’m confused. 
I face her. She’s already facing my direction. She’s rubbing my penis. She’s trying to tame me. And it’s unfair. 
“You need to let this Tumelo thing go. I know you are upset about the situation, but baby you’ve done it all. You’ve shat on her. You’ve beaten up the Tumelo person. You’ve more than expressed how angry you are about all of this. But now… she doesn’t know how to be around you. It’s like she has to prepare herself psychologically to face you every time she enters a room that you are in. And eight out of ten times, you do exactly what she’s afraid you’ll do. You throw this thing in her face. You need to forgive her and let it go.” 
I look at her. 
I don’t know what to say. 
I don’t know how to be.
“Baby, she knows she fucked up. She knows that what she did is nothing short of absolute bullshit. She understands the severity of what she has done.” She says.
“You know, the elders want me to marry her off. The words that were used when discussing my daughter in this context were ‘they are prepared to overlook her damage and marry her’. Do you know how that made me feel, Phuthi? My daughter? Damaged? And Rena is smart. She’s usually the one whose brain functions better than most. How did she end up opening her legs to that bastard?” 
“Ke ngwana, Khotso. And she’s allowed to make mistakes.” 
Her Sesotho accent just makes me laugh. She sounds like a child learning a new language.
She sulks. 
I kiss her. 
“Rena is not ready for marriage, baby.” She says.
“But she’s ready for sex?”
She gives me a look. 
“Okay fine… I’m sorry.”
“Khotso”, she begins, sitting up and leaning her back against the headboard. I also sit up so I can listen to her.
“Think about what this will do to her relationship with Wandi. I mean… wena noWandi are very close. Even I get jealous sometimes.”
“Really?” I say laughing.
“Yes… but I wouldn’t change anything about your relationship with Wandi. So imagine when Rena sees that and you cannot even give her half of that. You are just too angry at her. O nahana ukuthi uxo-zizwa jwang?”
Phuthi and Sotho! 
I’m actually in stitches. 
She just rolls her eyes, as if she’s over me.
When I calm down, I see her getting a bit upset with me. So I say, “Okay fine. I’m sorry, baby. I’ll talk to Rena. I’m sorry, my love. I hear you… and I’ll fix this. I promise.”
I kiss her. 
“And you’ll fix it today!” She says.
“Yes yes yes, I’ll fix it today, Mme Mohale.” 
I’m still kissing her.
I want another round of sex. Can she give me that and stop talking about my teenage daughter having sex… please!
Her cellphone rings. 
Oh hell!
She laughs at my frustration.
I show her my penis.
“Tshela lo-guy wakho to relax. Izolo ebusuku and this morning… kodwa akaneliseki?” She says. She’s actually being mean! 
She laughs then she looks at her cellphone.
“It’s Ona. He’s probably looking for you.” She says.
“What does he want?” I ask her.
She just gives me her phone and rolls her eyes at me. She tries to get out of bed, but I hold her back. 
“Sho”, I answer her phone.
“Eh monna! What’s wrong with your phone? It’s been off since last night!”
“I don’t know. I’ll look at it. Keng? Is something wrong!” 
“We need to bounce”, he says.
“And go where?”
“Sonia. She’s awake.” 
“Oh okay.”
“Bring Phuthi with you. We’ve all decided that Thabi is not capable of being composed when it comes to Sonia. She compromised us to begin with. So, we are taking Tebza and Phuthi with us.”
“Okay, shup.”
“You have ten minutes… we are waiting for you.”
The line goes dead. 

…

I’m standing at the door, leaning against the frame of the door. Maboko leans against the frame of the door, but opposite the one I’m leaning against. So we are quite close to each other. Zithulele is leaning against some wall in here. Next to him are Khabane and Ntuthuko. Pope and Ona sit on two chairs that are on the left hand side of Sonia’s bed. Phuthi and Tebza stand next to each other on the right hand side of the bed. We’ve all tasked Phuthi to do the talking. I’m just staring at how beautiful my wife is. She was complaining and asking me when she can start dressing up in jeans and sleeveless tops again because the makoti stuff is a lot. Lol! She looks so gorgeous though. So stunning. Being a Sotho wife suits her so perfectly. But she’s hearing none of it for whatever reason. The elders say she must be dressed like this for a year. She has a few months left. She will be okay. 

Sonia opens her eyes. 
She gets the shock of her life when she sees us. Even her machines start beeping out of control. 
“Yehlisa umoya, Sonia. Sidinga ukukhuluma.” Phuthi tells her.
She’s just shit scared. 
“Lalela, uma ungayehlisi umoya, uzofa. We’ve asked for some privacy while we are here talking to you. So if wena uzozihlanyisa, we will watch you die and the people in this place will come find you resting in peace. So relax. Uyekele ukusidina la.” Even I’m slightly scared of Phuthi right now. She’s soooo… cold in how she’s saying all of this. I think I keep her in the house and with the kids too much, so now, we are all used to the soft home-maker in her. We haven’t witnessed this side of her in a while… actually, since before she went to prison… now it’s just scaring all of us. Maboko, Khabane and Ntuthuko didn’t even know her before she went to prison, so they are the most spooked. 
“Please don’t kill me”, Sonia says. 
Phuthi looks at her.
“I know I messed up. I know. And I’m so sorry. But I have two kids that need me. You all ran and left them behind, so I know that if I die, they’ll have no one. Please.” Sonia.
“You see it’s lies like that that will just piss me off. We all know that your sister took those kids and they are more than fine… you know, the sister that is married to a white man but has affairs with people’s black husbands.” Phuthi. 
Sonia is just scared and shocked… she must be wondering how Phuthi knows this information. We have Letlali as our walking encyclopaedia. How does she think we know? 
“We don’t want you dead neither, Sonia. We never want people dead. We are not animals. Ucabanga ukuthi we like seeing people die like flies? We don’t. But when people do stupid things, siyenzeni thina? When people compromise our safety, our well-being and everything we’ve worked so hard for… forcing us to be on the run with our children… and grandchildren… forcing us to raise our children and grandchildren on the run and in the midst of instability and uncertainty… where not even we are able to tell them that everything is going to be okay and actually mean it… siyenzeni?”
She looks at Phuthi. 
“Now… tell us everything. Ukhulume nobani… unike bani ini… all of it. If you so much as leave out a comma in your story, your heart will stop beating. Mina angisisebenzisi isibhamu, sisi. Uyabona nawe that Khotso has turned me into a housewife. I know my way around kitchen utensils better now. I’ll peel your skin with a vegetable peeler until your heart stops on its own. I’ll make sure you feel yourself slipping away from your life – I won’t make it clean, quick and sudden for you. So think very carefully before lying to me. I could be cooking for my family right now, yet I’m here because you decided to be stupid. My patience is not exactly where it needs to be today to tolerate your bullshit.” 
Sonia nods her head as if agreeing that she will tell us everything.
Ona is actually hurt. I don’t think he should’ve been here. 

“So, how much did you tell Robert?” Phuthi. 
Sonia is shocked!
“Sonia, we know everything! Can we get the shock out of the way so we can move on? Please?!” Phuthi. 
She’s really scary.
Sonia looks at Ona. Then she says, “I’m so sorry, sthandwa sami.” 
Everyone BUT Phuthi is moved.
“So, how much did you tell Robert?” Phuthi.
Sonia clears her throat then says, “He’s been investigating all of us for years… trying to basically make a career case by being the cop that brought down the biggest syndicate in the world. He already a lot of information, but nothing that could throw us in for longer than ten years and nothing that pinpointed the top dogs.”
“So, what did you share to help him make this a career case?” Tebza.
“The murders. The prostitution rings. The illegal arms trade. The money laundering.” Sonia.
“How much of it did he die with?” Tebza.
“He had submitted all of it to a prosecutor.” Sonia.
You can literally see all our faces drop. 
“And to intelligence… internationally.” Sonia.
Worse! 
“What did you submit as evidence?” Phuthi. 
Now she plays with her fingers. This woman!
“Sonia, I thought you have kids to look after and you didn’t want us to kill you!” Phuthi.
“Everything that I found in Ona’s and Thabi’s safes. We managed to break into yours and Khotso’s safes, but we found nothing. We also got some evidence out of Maboko’s and Teboho’s safes. They could break into pope’s safe anytime. I led them there too.”
Teboho slaps the shit out of her! 
Sonia cries.
“You broke into our houses, wena ntsha ke wena!” Teboho.
“And people are about to break into my house? Tebza, mphinde on my behalf please.” Pope. 
Tebza slaps her again. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Sonia keeps saying as she cries.
“Sorry? For what? That you got caught or that you crossed us?” Phuthi. She’s still calm, but she keeps sounding more dangerous by the minute. 
“Phuthi, please don’t kill me. Please hear my cries. Please.” Sonia keeps saying as she cries. 
“What was the deal that you struck?” Phuthi.
I like how relevant her questions are. 
“I’d walk in exchange for turning you all in and providing enough for you to get trialed in at least ten of the countries that you committed these crimes at. Then, they’d hold you in US prisons.”
Yeses! 
“Teboho, chacha le-machine!” Phuthi.
“Phuthi, Ngiyakucela!”
“Ungazonginyela wena! You’ve spat on the money that is paying for all these machines to keep you alive and help you heal. Now the same money must keep you alive? US prisons, Sonia? Have you ever been in a Tholoana Kingdom or South African prison? And I’m not talking about the holding cells you were in for five seconds. Uyayaz’ ijele wena nje ngoba sowusithumela to US prisons? All because Ona decided to pay Thabi some attention a little longer than what he showed you?! Uyahlanya?!”
“Phuthi please!”
“Ona! Khotso! Maboko! Qwabe! Chachani le-machine!” Pope. 
We don’t waste time, we start undoing the machines. Khabane and Ntuthuko help us. 
Sonia is crying. 
She’s very weak shame. Very weak.
“Phuthi, please! Teboho –
“Don’t call my fucken name!” Tebza. 
Now the machines are off. 
She’s struggling to breathe. 
“If you want help, you’ll go to a government hospital… the same government you’ve been helping to put us – you’re private sector protectors – away in US prisons. And just so you know, I’m the one who cleaned your business accounts out. Sizophila ngazo ke. Thatha”, Phuthi says, giving her a gun.
What’s happening? 
Sonia accepts the gun, confused.
“This hun has one bullet in it. One bullet only. Use it wisely! You will start walking now. You’ll walk out of here and start marching. I don’t give a fuck where you go. We will give you a head start of one hour only. Then, we will start driving. We spot you anywhere, we kill you.” 
“Phuthi, ngizoyaphi? Uyabona ukuthi I can’t even go to the toilet on my own. I have a catheter attached to me. Phuthi please.” Sonia. 
“You still here? Two minutes seyidlulile phela. Ona… please do us the honour of removing her honour of removing her catheter… seeing that you know your way around her vagina.” Phuthi is… ja neh! 

…

Where will I run to? Where? 
I can barely feel my legs. I literally dragged myself out of that room, using my hands to slide out the room. My ribs and abdomen are in unbelievable pain. I can’t even hold this gun properly that I was given. 
I find myself in a room full of cleaning supplies. It must be the cleaning people’s room. I’m going to camp in here. I can’t be on the run. I’m in pain. I’m even sweating. 
I take a good fifteen minutes to breathe. My hour is probably up. I hope they’ve left the hospital at least. 

I hear a cellphone ring in here. I see it a few centimetres away from me, peeping out of a handbag. I pull it. I hang up the call. I phone my sister. I don’t know whose phone this is. 
“Phindi, hello?”
“Phindi, yimi. I need your help.”
“Maphuthi, where are you?”
“Angazi. But I’m going to die. I’m in so much pain. And…”
“What do you need?” 
I start crying.
“This is not the time to cry, Lethiwe. What do you need?”
“Please find me. Trace this call or something. Find me. I can’t run. I can’t do anything.” I say. 
“Keep this phone on you.” 
“I stole it. I don’t know who it belongs to.”
“Phindi, stay close to this phone. Please.”
The white woman tells me that the airtime is exhausted and the call is cut. 

–

“Sisi!”
“Sisi!”
“Sisi!”
It’s the pain in my body when she shakes me that wakes me up. I passed out in this dark and cold room. I feel so weak!
“You can’t be in here.” She says. She’s a cleaner. 
“I have no where else to go”, I say. I’m weak and I’m crying.
I see some sympathy in her eyes.
“Your husband gave me some money to look after you.” She says.
“Really?” I’m so surprised. Ona actually cares about me. I’ve never been more relieved in my life. 
“We have to get out of here. You are all over the news. If anyone spots you, I won’t be able to help you.” 
I’m all over the news? 
“Can you walk? My son is waiting for us outside.” She says.
I can at least feel my legs now. 
She helps me up. 
I almost pass out. I’m so weak! 
“Easy, sisi. Easy.” She keeps saying as I put one foot in front of the other, slowly making my way to wherever she’s taking me.
We are now outside. It’s dark and it’s raining. I cannot run. I cannot walk any faster. The son comes out of a skorokoro of a car, cups me in his arms and carries me to the car. I suppose to make this a lot faster. I just hold onto him. But I am so weak.
He puts me in the backseat of the skorokoro. I’m so tired and weak that I don’t care that the seat has holes. The mother sits in the front. They cover me with a blanket. To say that I’m thankful would be an understatement. 
“Ngiyabonga”, I manage to utter.
I seem to be passing out, so they start talking.

“What if we get stopped by cops? Lo muntu is wanted everywhere!” The son.
What am I wanted for? Kanti what’s going on?
“Nami angazi, Thabani. Kodwa umyeni wakhe paid us a million rands to look after her. We have to do our best.” The lady.
Also, why is Ona paying her to look after me? They’ll kill him if they find out that he’s helping me. Especially Thabi.
“Mah, we must just be careful.” 
“We will be, ndodana. Don’t stress.”
I pass out. 

–

I’m woken up by a cold breeze attacking my spine. I want to just pull a blanket over my body. Then I realise that I’m in a room. Some nurse is helping me. I have a drip attached to me. Hai bo! 
Also, there’s noise. A lot of noise. And, I’m in a shack.
“Where am I?” I ask this person here.
“In my home. I live here with my son. This is my son’s bedroom. He will sleep in the TV room.” The lady cleaner from yesterday.
I even have energy now… a little bit, but it’s there. 
“Thank you for helping me”, I say. 
The nurse is just quiet. She says nothing.
“I’ve made you porridge. You need to try to eat something”, the cleaner lady.
I sit up. I have energy nyana.
It’s white porridge. When last…
I accept the bowl of porridge from her. Then I start eating. It tastes so good. It reminds me of back home eShowe. Porridge made my heart so happy. 
Both ladies give me some space and leave the room. 

I’m still eating, slowly so, fifteen minutes into my privacy. The door opens and the son walks in. Apparently his name is Thabani. 
I look at him. He looks at me.
“I thought you were still sleeping.” He says.
“It’s your room. Please don’t feel uncomfortable to walk in and out as and when you please.” I say.
“Hai bo! I don’t want to see you naked. Intombi yami is your nurse. She will kill you on purpose.” 
I laugh.
He shakes his head. 
He walks in and does what he came here to do in the first place… something in his cupboard.
The cupboard is falling apart shame. 
I attend to my porridge. 

He’s done now. He stares at me.
“So like… you are just a crazy woman vele? Or kanjani?” He asks me.
“Excuse me?”
“I mean… you are out on bail and the allegations against you are insane! Then you flee your country and commit more crimes. You try to frame other people using your police lover to do it, and now you are sick and on the run. Like… lithatha kahle ikhanda lakho or danger just turns you on?”
“Ukhuluma ngani?” 
I’m so lost.
Now he’s confused.
He pulls out his cellphone. It’s something out of a “my friend” shop, but it has internet, so it does what it needs to.
He sits next to me.
He shows me his phone. 
I’m wanted.
I’m a fugitive.
I’ve committed… hai bo! These are…! But how the hell did they conclude that I did these on my own?
He sees me shaking.
“Awukeni fokol vele?” He asks me.
“I didn’t do these things. I was working with the police to expose the people who did these things.” I try to explain.
“It says here that you have been trying to frame people… and you were working with your lover. But when you could no longer make up stories, you and your boyfriend tried to run away. He bribed people to get you a bail hearing, paid a lawyer as well your bail, then as you guys were on the run, you got into an accident.”
“We were not on the run!”
“Manje why did you run away from the hospital you were in there in your kingdom?”
Now I’m crying. 
This looks so bad!
“I didn’t do these things. I’ve never killed a person in my life.” I tell him.
“Are you sure?”
“I think I’d remember if I killed someone”, I snap.
“Ey san… manje uzokwenzani?” He asks me.
“I need to go to a police station. I need to turn myself in and explain myself. The longer I’m on the run, the more guilty I look.” I say.
“Uyazi lahlela nje phakhathi?!”
“What choice do I have?”
He looks at me as if he believes me.
“Please take me to the nearest police station. Please.” I ask him.
“Yoh!” Him.
“Please bhuti. Please.” I beg.
“Yazini, I’ll organise a lawyer for you.” He says.
“Let me give you my sister’s number. She’s well connected and has a lot of money. Tell her everything after you’ve dropped me off at the police station. She will help you. I’ll never forget this bhuti. Thank you.”
He gives me his phone. I put in Phindi’s number. I don’t even know what happened to that other phone that I was supposed to steal. 
Now that I’ve eaten, I pull the drip off me, then Thabani takes me to the police station.