So I’m the one that is currently behind bars. The police didn’t act fast enough. By the time that a warrant of arrest was approved, everyone and their dog had left the kingdom. The only person left who was on that warrant list was me. I had a deal with the cops. I had to just bring everyone to them on a silver platter. Then I’d be exonerated. But the state failed me. That’s how criminals who keep committing crime against victims that are connected to the royal house keep getting with their crimes. Today, I’m the one paying the price for trying to do right by people who have lost lives or have had their rights as citizens violated by these people that I’ve been associated with for the duration of my marriage. 

“Can’t you think of any other place that they could’ve gone to? Think Sonia.” He says to me.
“I gave you everything that I know. Everything! If they are not at these places, then they’ve found a new place that they clearly didn’t tell me about. They’ve been onto me. They’ve known all this time. They are going to kill me.” 
“Sonia –
“Hai man! Do you think that if I had any further information about their whereabouts I’d be sitting here ngibhekane nawe emehlweni? They didn’t even take my kids! That’s how useless I’ve become to them. Mina, I understand… I betrayed them. But my kids??? Those are Ona’s kids and he was fine to just leave them. What loyalty would I still have to that man and anyone associated with him?” 
There’s silence in the interrogation room now.
“I told you! I told you to act fast. I begged you and I warned you that my life would be on the line if you fucked this up! But wenzeni wena? You gave them time to become three steps ahead of us. Look at us right now! You don’t even have a shred of evidence against them. Kusobala ukuthi you had no idea who you were dealing with and you gambled with my life trying to figure it out!”
“Nia… I won’t let anything happen to you. I’d rather die first than let that man hurt you any further.” He says.
“You think he’ll have a problem killing you? Ucabanga ukuthi ukuphi wena? Ucabanga ukuthi u-deala nobani? Uyamazi uOnaleruna Mohale wena? Ngakutshela ukuthi uyiyeke le nto if izokuhlula. But you wanted your case that was going to make you.” 
“Baby… listen to me!”
“Just take me back to my cell… please. I need some space from you.”
He looks at me.
Why is he shocked? He was stupid and sloppy… now Ona could kill me any time and Thabi will give him sex afterwards to reward him for killing me. 
“You are going to court tomorrow. I pulled some strings, got you a lawyer and got you a court date. It’s tomorrow. It’s your appearance for your bail application.” He says.
“Robert, what am I going to pay that bail and a lawyer with? My accounts are frozen.” He’s beginning to piss me off, honestly.
“I paid the lawyer. And I’ll pay for your bail. Then you can come and live with me until we figure out our next move.” 
I actually cry. I know he loves me. I know. I’m just frustrated about we ended up here and who we are dealing with while he’s so wet behind the ears. After you’ve been with Ona, men are who know the fairytale version of life tend to frustrate you.
“Are my kids okay?” I ask him.
“I phoned your sister like you asked me… the one in the UK. She did arrive. She took the kids. I gave her the instructions that you gave me about giving her the bag of money in your safe. She took it and the kids. But the kids do miss you.” 
I nod my head. 
I would’ve taken them to my mother, but they are not safe there neither. 
“Ngiyabonga Robert. I appreciate everything that you are doing for me.” 
He nods his head.

I’m back in my cell. I’m sharing with some girl who’s been arrested for drug trafficking. Her name is Redibone. She’s actually not a lunatic. I can tolerate sharing with her. She’s also very scared. You can just tell that’s she’s going through this for the first time… I’m also going through this for the first time, but I don’t want anyone to target me. I’m shitscared, but I don’t need anyone to know that. 
“I’m going to die here”, she randomly says. 
I look at her. 
Is she talking to me or is she just thinking out loud? 
“They didn’t give me bail.” She says. Then she chuckles in disbelief and says, “not only did they not give me bail, but they’ve also given me a sentence. Tomorrow morning nje, I’m going to Tholoana Prison to serve 35 years.” 
Yerrr! 
“What has your lawyer said? Can you appeal?” I ask. 
“I don’t even know my lawyer’s name. The lawyer was just appointed to me and that woman just popped up, unprepared. She didn’t even know what I’m being charged for.” 
“Yoh”, I actually feel for her.
“Yaz… I needed the money. I did. That lady came to my place of work, picked me out of everyone in that open plan area and asked me to do her a favour.” 
I look at this woman.
She’s even crying as she tells me this story.
“She said she needed me to transport drugs to Brazil for her. She promised me that everything is taken care of with the police and the airport officials… that I wouldn’t get caught and that I’d be paid R100 000.” 
Imagine going to jail for a mere R100 000! That’s like going to jail for shoplifting and stealing a BarOne chocolate valued at R4. 
“I needed the money and I trusted her. And you know what, I went to Brazil. And it all went smoothly. I think the issue came with me refusing to sleep with that dirty man.” 
“Dirty man?” I ask.
“Yeah. There was a man that came into my room and wanted to have sex with me. I said no. We had a whole fight because he was just being disgusting. He almost raped me and I stabbed his leg with a pen. He told me I’d pay for what I did. The next day, I was put on a plane back to the kingdom but with a small batch of drugs. The other girls I had travelled with carried the big numbers – the numbers that I carried when I was travelling to Brazil. But the cops pulled me aside at the airport. I just knew that I was the distraction. I promised these cops that I’d take them to the people who were paying me. They didn’t want to hear it. I just got put in a police van and got brought here. I haven’t even called my mother.” 
Ja neh… inzima le nto. 
Should I say sorry or? 
“My kids… my mother… oh, Modimo waka!” 

…

I’m violently woken up by the vicious banging of the cell door and light coming into the cell. 
I notice that even Redibone is only waking up now. She was crying all night. I don’t know when she went to sleep. We are probably about to be counted. 
Nope. No such luck.
Chains are put around my feet and around my hands. Apparently I’m going to court. 

–

There’s media everywhere. EVERYWHERE! 
There are camera flashes coming at me from every angle and I have questions coming at me from every journalist here. I made the news vele? All this frenzy because of me? I feel like crying. I do. 
But the police help me into the court and finally, into the box that I’m meant to sit at while I apply for my bail. 
The court is FULL!
I don’t look behind me. I don’t look in front of me. It’s just me… hanging my head in shame and waiting for the judge to either sentence me or give me bail so that I can get out of here and hide again. 
“Hey” a voice says to me. 
I look up.
Some white man is standing in front of me.
“I’m advocate Le Roux. I’m your lawyer for today.” 
I nod my head. 
“Just breathe, okay? I’ll do my best for you. Are you okay? Was your keep in custody okay? Did anyone hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” I say.
“Okay. Just hang in there.” He says.
I nod my head. 

I pretty much hear nothing of what’s being said here. It’s a long process of different police people being called to the stand to oppose my bail application. But my lawyer does a good job at rubbishing the information that they are providing for me to be denied bail. After a few hours of back and forth, I’m told that I am granted bail for R20 000. I have to be back in court in two months time. I’m given all sorts of terms and conditions. I will get them clearly from my lawyer after this. I just need to get out of here. 

My bail is sorted. Robert is waiting for me. I just jump into his Toyota Fortuner, hide myself actually in here. And he drives off. 

“All is clear”, he says after a few minutes. 
I get up. I just cry! Yoh! How has this become my life? How?!
He holds my hand. 
“We will figure this out okay? When we get home, you’ll just take a shower, get some rest then we figure it out later…”
Before I can even respond to him, two big cars come at us from both sides. 
CRASH!!!!! 

——
——
——
——
——

…

My sister, Sonia, has been in a terrible car accident. Her lover, Robert, is unfortunately dead. 
I’m at the hospital now. I left her kids with my kids at our home. There is heavy security there. 
You should see her. There are so many machines attached to her. Her face! Her legs! Her arms! The doctors say that it’s a miracle that she didn’t die on the spot like Robert. But she’s in such bad shape, she could still die any minute. The doctor says that if she does survive, she’d need to do plastic surgery. Her entire facial structure has been impacted. 

My husband couldn’t make it back with me. He has work. So it’s just the kids and I this side. I’m tempted to let Keith know what’s happening, because I do need a hug, but I don’t want him getting sloppy and putting his wife on us. I don’t need that drama.

I walk into Sonia’s ward. She’s sooooo…
How did she get here? 
She hasn’t spoken to my parents in years. They have serious issues. Serious. Sonia – who is known as Lethiwe at home – ran away from home when it was announced that she was the chosen one to marry the chief’s son in our village where we grew up. This resulted in my parents having to repay the dowry that the chief’s son had already paid for her. Apparently, it was paid when she was twelve years old. My parents have been livid with Lethiwe ever since. But she became a success and stuck to the name “Sonia”. She has never liked the Lethiwe name. I don’t like my English name, so I’m good with Phindile. My parents saw Sonia again when the king of Tholoana Kingdom himself came by to pay lobola for my sister. Clearly, marrying into royalty was always her destiny! 
My parents kind of opened themselves to her again. I mean, she did one better than marrying a chief’s son; she married a whole king. But my father always said that Ona was too arrogant. We didn’t see it then, but since Sonia has been telling me about all their drama, I see what he means. 
Based on what Sonia has told me, he may be responsible for this. 

I decide to phone my parents. Let me dial my mother.
“Sawubona Phindile.” She answers her phone.
“Sawubona mah. Kunjani?”
“Ngiyaphila ntombi.”
“Unjani ubaba?”
“Uyaphila naye. Sikhumbule nje abazukulu. It’s so quiet la ekhaya ngathi we are not rich ngabazukulu. Bazofika nini?”
I’m silent.
“Phindile?!”
“Mah, kuzomele wena nobaba nize la eTholoana.”
“Ngoba?”
“ULethiwe.”
“What has that one done this time?! We are not coming there for that rubbish we see on TV! Yaz, she’s always known how to disappoint and embarrass us that one. Ubaba wakho cishe awa phansi when we saw her chained and walking into a court room to apply for bail. Worse… on TV! Waba njani na uLethiwe?! She’s a criminal now?!” 
“Mah!”
I stop her.
She’s quiet now.
“ULethiwe is in hospital. When she left the courthouse, she was involved in a very bad accident. The policeman that she was with passed away. Yena she’s in a very critical condition.” 
She’s quiet.
I couldn’t exactly say that Rob was her lover. Lethiwe is still married.
“Mah, she needs you. She’s fighting for her life and it’s not looking good. Ngicela nifike, mah. Please. I’ll organise a flight for wena nobaba.” I say.
“Kulungile.” She says. 
“Ngiyabonga. I’ll see you soon.” I say.
We hang up.
I think she’s sad.

I organise flights for my parents as well as transport to take them to the airport in KZN. 
Sonia has to be okay.
She has to be okay!
I cannot even phone Ona. He could be the cause of all of this. 
I do need to phone or notify law enforcement though that Sonia has been in an accident and won’t be able to sign at police stations every day. Yes, let me sort that out.

I’m on calls for about an hour. Then as I finish, I get a call from the five kids I’ve left at home. 
“Yes kids?” That’s how I answer my phone.
“Mama, can we order pizza? No one wants to cook.” That’s my daughter, Kayla.
“Your gogo and mkhulu are coming, so you guys need to get something that they can also have”, I say.
“For real? Whoooooo! That’s so exciting! Okay, maybe kasi food then.” Charlotte. 
I laugh. 
“How’s my mom?” Ati asks me. She’s Sonia’s daughter.
“We are praying, baby girl. We are praying, okay?” 
“Okay.” She says.
But shame, she’s sad.
“Has my dad checked up on us?” Mmuso asks me. The son.
I have to lie.
“He has. He phoned to check up on your mom and you guys. I told you him you are all okay.” I lie.
But I feel like crying.
“If he phones again, please tell him not to fetch us. We like it here with you and our cousins”, Mmuso.
“Okay papa, I will.” 
The relief! Because if these kids said they want their father to fetch them, bengizomuthathaphi uOna?
“Birthgiver… please send us money for food.” Charlotte. 
“Ja, I’ll send in a bit. And order in. Don’t leave the house. Please.” I say.
“Shup.” Kayla.
I hang up. 
These kids!

…

Breakfast is a bit chaotic. My mom woke up Charlotte, Kayla and Atisang to help prepare breakfast. My father has Michael and Mmuso busy with I don’t know what outside. My parents need to relax. One, we’ve got staff to do all of this. They don’t need to feel like they are in eShowe. When my mom tried to wake me up, I ignored her flat! Kwaba ngathi ngishonile. 

But now we are eating.
The table is silent… tense almost.
“Unjani ULethiwe?” My dad asks me.
“We will see her today after breakfast, baba.” I say.
“Kubi ngaleyo ndlela?” My dad. 
Everyone looks at me.
Mmuso and Ati are breaking my heart the most.
“She’s alive. As long as she’s still breathing, there’s hope.” I say.
“What will happen to us if she doesn’t live?” Ati.
“Would you guys hate to live with me?” I ask them.
Their faces beam.
“Really?” Mmuso.
“Yeah. You are my babies too, aren’t you?”
They nod their heads. 
“Or you can come to KZN with me and live with me and mkhulu”, my mom.
The shock on their faces! 
I actually laugh. 
“Did my dad phone again?” Mmuso asks me. 
I think he’s onto me. He knows I’m talking shit.
“He did.” I lie.
He pulls a face. Yep, he’s definitely onto me.
“Does he know that my mom is not okay?” Ati.
“I haven’t told him.” I say.
“Why not?” Ati.
“I just don’t think it’s right for me to just tell him over the phone. Maybe when he’s back, I’ll tell him.” Me.
“But he must know.” Ati.
“Do you want me to tell him?” Me.
“No”, Mmuso. He’s playing along now. I wonder. 
“We can deal with this on our own. We don’t need him.” Mmuso. 
My parents look at me. 
I just eat my food. 

My parents, the kids and I arrive at the hospital. 
I lead them to where I last left Sonia yesterday. 
She’s not here. 
Yey! 
I look in the next ward. 
Nothing.
“Phindile, yini?” 
I’m running like a mad woman now, searching each ward for my sister.
“Can I help you?” Some nurse says to me.
“Sonia Mohale. Where is she?” I ask in panic. 
“The queen requested for her to be moved.” The nurse.
“What?! To where? And why?”
“We can’t share more information, ma’am. Royalty orders. Im sorry.”
Heh! 
Now I actually dial Ona.
To my surprise, his phone actually rings. And an even bigger surprise, he actually answers my phone call. 
“Hello.” 
“Ona, where’s my sister?” 
“Hello gorgeous one. Ujwang?”
“Ona, Angidlali nawe! Uphi ULethiwe?”
“She’s safe.”
“Where?! I want to see my sister. Atisang and Mmuso want to see their mother. My parents want to see their daughter.” 
“Phindile, Sonia did some fucked up shit. We need to deal with it as a family.” 
“Ona, Sonia told me everything. There’s some evidence that she’s left with me. I’ll give you everything in exchange for my sister’s life and my sister’s freedom”.
He’s silent. 
“Ona, Ngiyakucela. Ngicela udadewethu.” 
“I should’ve married you. You are the smart sister.” 
“I just want my sister. Please.” 
“Let her wake up first. Once she’s awake, we can talk. She’s getting the best medical care. I promise you, I won’t let her die. I also need her alive.”
“You promise.”
“I promise. I’d never lie to you. You know my soft spot for you. Phela if your sister dies, you must replace her as my wife –
I just hang up! He’s talking absolute shit now.
“Phindile, yini?” My dad.
“Umyeni wakhe took her a hospital that has more resources to help her.” 
“Where?”
“Ngeke bavume singene simbone. We have to wait.” I say. 
My parents are disappointed.
“How does my dad know?” Mmuso.
“It’s all over social media. Bheka.” Charlotte shows him.
Ey….
I don’t know anymore. 

We are back home. 
Maybe I should go to Sonia’s house and look for anything else that can save her life. 
But I miss Keith. Let me check if he can talk. 
“Hey”, I text him.
“I’ve missed you. You good?” He texts me back.
“Can you take my call?” I ask him.
He phones me immediately.
“Hey”, me.
“How are you? I’m worried about you. Your sister’s case is everywhere.”
“Yeah, we are hanging in there. The kids are with me. My parents are also around. We are all hanging in there.” 
“Can I see you?” 
“Bassie?”
“She’s gone out with her mother, our son and our nanny. Her mother is visiting us.” 
“Use an Uber. You don’t want anyone spotting your car driving somewhere. Let’s meet at Mohale Hotels Franchise… the Queen Kea. I’ll make the reservations on my side so no payments go off on your side and alerts your wife of anything. Just please bring condoms. I need you.” 
“I’ll see you just now, baby.” 
We hang up. 

–

He’s here. 
We are kissing.
He’s body is giving me what I need… too much off what I need actually.
I’m now on top of him. 
I ride him. 
I know I’m being aggressive. I hope I’m not hurting him. He’s moaning. I’m screaming. I feel him push me off of him.
I think we are done. 
No, we are not.
I think he gets it.
I don’t want him to make love to me.
I NEED him to fuck me.
And he does. 
He puts me on my stomach and separates my legs using one hand. 
He puts his penis inside of me. 
He FUCKS me! 
When we are done, I actually cry. 
I see him take off the condom then goes into the restroom to just clean himself up and get rid of the condom. Then he comes back and he lies next to me as I cry. 
He finally pulls my naked self towards his naked self. He lets me find refuge in his arms and on his chest. 

After about two hours, we are both lying on our backs and looking up to the ceiling, lying next to each other.
“I’m worried about you”, he says.
“You shouldn’t worry about me, Keith.”
“I can’t help it. You are just dealing with too much. You need someone too.”
“Keith, when you start thinking like that… for me… you’ll withdraw from Bassie and she will notice that you are different and that her relationship with you is changing. Your relationship with her is not supposed to change.” 
He’s quiet.
“How are the wedding plans coming along?” I ask him.
“Bassie is excited. The mothers are excited. We’ve decided on a date. December 25th.” 
“That’s nice. You must enjoy it.”
“I will. I love Bassie and I want this for my son. Plus, we want more children after the wedding.”
“Good for you, Keith. Seriously, I’m happy for you. I know how much family means to you.” 
“And wena? What are you doing this festive season?”
“Harry wants the kids and I to move to Manchester.” 
“What?!”
“We might move just for a year. The kids want to hear none of it. They love it here in the kingdom. I don’t like Manchester neither. But, I have to try. I made a commitment through marriage to him and our family. I have to at least try.”
“But what about your business? What about –
“Please don’t say us. Ngiyakucela.”
He’s quiet.
“I’ll be back and forth between here and there for my business. But I’ll mostly be there than here. But for the festive season, we might just be here. December starts next week and my sister is…”
I become emotional again.
“For Ati and Mmuso, I have to be here. It seems my parents will also be here with us.” I say.
“Can I see you before I go back home for the wedding?” He says.
“Yeah. I’d love that. But on one condition…”
“Yeah?”
“When you go home… you don’t call me and you don’t text me. You will be all into your wedding.”
“Baby –
“Keith, we can’t fall in love. We can’t. Please, don’t fall in love with me. Please.” 
He kisses me. 
I kiss him back.
We have a few more strong rounds. We even run out of the box of condoms that he bought. 

We take a shower together. We actually have sex in the shower. I need to get morning after pills after this. I’m not getting pregnant… absolutely not! 
When we are done with sex and showering and fixing ourselves up, he orders an Uber. I prepare to leave the hotel. 
“Thank you. I needed today.” I say.
He kisses me.
I leave.