Nobantu

“How are things? How are you holding up?” I ask him. 

“I’m trying. Some days are easier than others, but I’m getting there. In a very weird way, having my daughter makes me feel like she is still with me.” He says. 

“These people are precious, until they aren’t.” I say. 

We both giggle. 

I haven’t spoken to Thomas in so long. I have been meaning to call him and just check up on him. He loved his stiletto girl a lot. I can only imagine what he is going through. I’ve just been so caught up in Gcina and her mess that I ended up cracking. And putting myself together after that session has been difficult. To an extent, it created a bit of space between Qaphela and me. I needed this phone call. 

“How are you doing with your daughter?” He asks me. 

“Well…”

“That bad?”

“I don’t know, Thomas. I think I really messed her up.”

“Why do you say that?” 

“For starters, she tried to commit suicide.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, but she’s in some facility now getting help. She’s on some programme that’s designed to make her feel better. I just… I don’t know how I’m making it, but I am.” 

“And her dad? How are things with him?” 

“They are actually good, hey. I love him. We have different ideas of how to handle our daughter, but overall, I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else. It’s just that things are bit distant and cold right now because of our daughter. And I suppose I have a lot of retrospection that I need to do about myself as a mother and see where I can grow in that role. You know?” 

“I hear you. But, Pearl, you are a phenomenal woman. And I’m sure you are an even better mother. Don’t beat yourself up too much about this. While we want to be our best to produce good people out of our children, they are still individuals. They will make up their minds about who they want to be and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it, except to just be there for them. You are not a bad parent for wanting the best for your child.” He says. 

This comforts me. A lot. 

“Do you ever wonder how we would have been with our kids if our son never died and I never had all of those miscarriages that almost took my life?” 

I know I’m taking him back to quite a dark place right now. But, we’ve never spoken about it. 

“I think we would have created a business genius who we would have groomed to take over everything we would have worked hard for.” 

I smile as he says this. 

“But, having Rofhi has brought out a side to me that makes me want to see a family in a child, not just an heir to my wealth. I think having a daughter is teaching me what it’s all really about. If she chooses to take over the empire one day, I’ll groom her and place her in the position – able to compete with the best of them. But my sole purpose is to make sure that she is happy and she is protected. But raising a girl as a single father is something else. I feel like I have a three year old that’s going on thirty.”

We both laugh. 

“She is truly her mother’s child. I feel close to her mother and I miss her at the same time. Rofhi is my beam of hope though.” 

I’m still laughing. 

“I know you are a great father. You’ll find someone one day and you’ll move on. But I’m so happy she comes first.” I say. 

“Yeah. Look Pearl, I know how tough you are in the business sense. You have the most incredible strength that I will ever see in a woman. But not everyone is built that way. I think now more than ever, you need to be at your softest just so you can get through to your daughter and let her know that you are tough, but with a purpose.” He says. 

“Thank you, Thomas. Really, thank you. And all the best with Rofhi. It will get better. You’ll see.” 

“Thank you, Peal. And all the best with Gcina.” 

We hang up.

…

I am in the kitchen preparing a sandwich for breakfast while the domestic worker is busy doing something in this house. I have an appointment to freeze my stomach fat today. It will do me some good, honestly. I will be having a facial then having this fat freeze procedure. 

Qaphela walks into the kitchen. Things are a bit weird between us. But I do miss him. He looks at me. I look at him. It is a starring match. I take a deep breath. 

“I love you”. I say. 

He smiles at me. 

“I love you. I miss you.” He says. 

“I don’t like this tension between us.” I say. 

“Me too.” 

He says this as he comes around the kitchen counter and he wraps his arms around me. 

“I don’t judge you as a mother.” He says. 

“I just felt like you did. But I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when I said it.”

“I think you are a good mother. You are tough on her. As much as she needs it, she is not ready for it.” 

“And that’s why she has you, right?” 

He smiles at me. 

“I do think we need to let her grow up a little bit. She should go back to res and be responsible for herself.” I say. 

He looks at me with that judgy look of his. 

“You want her to go back to school so soon?” 

Hai bo! Is she going to be a loafer for the rest of the year? 

“Babe, what do you want her to do for the rest of the year?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe just be at home and think.” 

“Think?”

He giggles. 

“Let’s find her a job, at least. She’s not sitting here all year doing nothing. It’s either school or a job.” 

“Fair enough. Then maybe we can get her car.” 

What?! 

“To get around. Come on, baby. It’s not like it’s going to hurt our pockets.” He says. 

“Does this daughter of yours ever get to work for anything? What has she done to earn a car?” 

“She’s going through a tough time.” 

“So she gets a car because we want her to feel better about the position that she put herself in?” 

“Nobantu- 

“Qaphela, we are not helping her. Rewarding her for breathing will not make her a better human being. If we want her to feel better, we can buy her a puppy. That will give her something to look forward to loving.” 

“A puppy?” He says, bursting into laughter. 

“Yea, a puppy or flowers. Not a car. As sad as her situation is, she hasn’t earned a car. Maybe next year when she has had a year of making good decisions and putting herself in a better position in life. Not now. She’s not ready. We will bump into Romeo driving it on the road.” 

This makes him angry. I think I’ve won. No car for Gcina. 

“Are you headed to work?” I ask him. 

“Yeah. You?”

“Not today. I’m available on my cell, but I’m going for a self-care day.”

He looks at me like…

“I’m going to beautify myself for you.” I say. 

He smiles. 

“You are already gorgeous. What’s the problem?” He says. 

His phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket and reads the caller ID. It’s his sister, Thembi. He picks it up and puts it on speaker. 

“Hi Sisi”. 

“Bhuti, how are you?” 

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“I’m not fine, bhuti. I just came back home and I found that Lindiwe lives here. Why was I not told?” 

Lindiwe is the other sister. I didn’t know either of them lived at the house. I never asked what happened to the house after we bought a house together. We rented out the apartment that I lived in. 

“I didn’t know that Lindiwe lived there neither. But I don’t understand what the problem is because we all have a right to live there. The house belonged to our parents.” Qaphela says. I’d leave and give him space, but his legs have lockedme in towards him and his arm is tight around my waist. 

“I need to stay here for a while. Things are not well between my husband and I.” 

“So what’s the problem?” 

“Lindiwe is living here with her husband.” 

Such drama. 

“Can’t the two of you work it out? You are sisters.” 

“No. Lindiwe’s husband cannot live here. This is not his home. I’m not going to negotiate with him because really, I can just phone the police and have him thrown out. This is not his house. He must get out.” 

“What do you want me to do, Thembi?” 

“Can you come and throw him out?” 

I giggle. 

Qaphela looks at me and smiles. He kisses me. 

“Are you coming?” She asks. 

“I can’t, sisi. I have plans with Nobantu that I cannot get out of.” 

Now I’m chuckling. 

“Let me talk to Lindiwe.” Qaphela says. 

“Hello”, Lindiwe says as she takes the phone. 

“Sisi, what’s going on?”

“Thembi is here. She is trying to kick me out of my home.”

“She says you are there with your husband. Is that true?” 

“Yes. We’ve been staying here since you left. Remember we used to stay at a back room? So we decided to come live here after you moved out. I don’t see what the problem is.” 

“Lindiwe, you can’t make decisions like that without talking to us. Thembi has every right to be there and make the demand that she is making about your husband leaving the house.” 

“But we have no where to go, bhuti. The room we were renting has been rented out to someone else.” 

“Let me call you back. Keep your phone on you.” 

He hangs up. 

He looks at me. 

“Please don’t look at me.” I say. 

He pulls my face towards his face and nibbles on my lips. 

“I’m thinking we can rent her a place with her husband.” 

Ja no, my husband is very generous with money. He enables a lot of laziness in life. At what point do people grow up? Both his sisters don’t work and their husband don’t work as well. I know he sends them money without my knowledge. But with paying rent for them, he cannot do that behind my back. Or maybe he has been. I just don’t know. 

“You really enjoy doing this, don’t you?” Me. 

“Doing what?” 

“Enabling people to think money falls from the tree and in this house, it flows like milk and honey. Why aren’t these people getting jobs? Yaz, if you were saying let’s hire them, it’s different because we are empowering them. But when we keep sponsoring their lives, at what point do we say no?”

“Baby, I know what it’s like to be  needing people to give me a chance, so I can make it out of my nothingness. Now that I am where I am, I don’t see why I cannot do the same for people.” 

“So your idea of helping people is paying for housing for them? Help is giving them jobs so they can get the houses themselves.” 

“And what happens in the meantime? My sisters fight each other over my parents’ house?” 

“Why are you even asking for my opinion? You’ve already made up your mind.” 

“I want to talk about this with my wife and make a decision with my wife after having discussed this.” 

“Okay fine, how have they been paying for rent and buying groceries all this time?” 

Silence. 

“Okay, so you can do all of that behind my back and not tell me about it, but this is something you think you can discuss with me and manipulate me into agreeing to? Keep doing shit behind my back like you always have. Don’t involve me now because I’ve never had a say to begin with.” 

“Come on, Nobantu.” 

“I’m going. Bye.”

I come free of his hands, grab my bag and make my way out of the house. I’m not getting involved. Qaphela wants to put me in my place as a makoti who doesn’t need to be consulted on everything, then when it becomes steep for him to handle, he wants to include me? Agh! He can do whatever he wants to do. 

…

Qaphela

Now I don’t know what to do. Is it really bad to want to make people’s lives better? I know I should have probably told Nobantu about me supporting my family from the get go. I am the bread winner. And I will admit it, they are lazy. I have offered both husbands jobs, they refused. My sisters left their workplaces. I see what Nobantu is saying. But, am I going to say no when they tell me their children have no food or have been kicked out of school because fees were not paid? 

The last thing I want to do is fight with my wife about this though. And if not telling her is the problem, doing anything now without her knowing will make things worse. 

My phone rings. It’s my baby girl. I answer. 

“Hello Ntombikayise.” 

“Hi baba. I just spoke to Nobantu. What did you do to her?” 

I’m glad that Nobantu and Gcina are talking and they are building. 

“Eish. Thembi and Lindiwe are fighting over the house. I suggested that Nobantu and I pay for rent for Thembi and she flipped. Then I realised that she knows that I have been supporting them all this time and she is upset about it.” 

Gcina laughs as I explain this. 

“Don’t laugh, Ntombikayise. I don’t want to fight with my wife about this, but I also don’t want my family to suffer.” 

“You know how Nobantu is. But this time, I agree with her. Thembi and Lindiwe need to start doing something with their lives. You cannot support them forever. Nobantu drives me crazy sometimes, but I don’t want the two of you to fight. Especially because of them. I think you must leave them there to sort their issues out then you have to have a meeting with them and tell them that they must find a job and stop leaching off you.” 

“You starting to sound just like your mother now”, I say. 

“Oh no”.

We both laugh. 

“But fix things with Nobantu. We love her. We not losing her because of Thembi and Lindiwe. They are not losing their husbands in all of this. You must remember that.” 

She makes a good point. 

“Any ideas on how I can make things right with her?” I ask. 

“She’s been complaining about needing a holiday. I know the two of you had planned to go somewhere before I got admitted. I’m in here for another two weeks now that my stay has been extended. Take her somewhere close, apologise a million times and come back united- for me.” 

“That’s a good idea.”

“Take her to Knysna. She loves it there for whatever reason.” 

“She wanted us to live there when we leave KZN. That’s why.” 

“Then go there. Enjoy a week away. Leave Thembi and Lindiwe to deal with their things.” 

This was a good call. 

…

Nobantu returns home at 6pm and I have already packed the car with our bags. She walks in and looks at me. She is on her phone. 

“Gcina, let me call you back neh.” 

…

“Shup.”

She hangs up and looks at me. 

“Are you going somewhere? Moving in with your sisters, perhaps?” 

What’s wrong with this woman? 

“I’m taking you away. I just want to say that I’m sorry, sthandwa sami. I’m sorry for not putting you and my baby girl first. I’m not prepared to lose my family for my sisters. I have been supporting them and their families all this time, hurting you in the process. And for that I’m sorry.” 

She sighs. 

“Qaphela, I don’t want to stop you from helping your family. I know the situation that you come from. For you to even be where you are and making money illegally is because you wanted to get out of the place you come from. I’m just expecting you to not do things behind my back. And I’m expecting you to put up boundaries with them. You are my husband. And if you have to be dishonest with me to help them, that tells me that you know that what you are doing is wrong. And I don’t appreciate that.”

“I hear you. I was wrong, my love. And I am sorry.” 

“But I do want us to help. Your daughter made me see that they are not in a position that she is in because of our hard work. She also told me to forgive you because you were doing what you thought was best.” 

I love my daughter. 

“So… Thembi can stay at my old apartment.”

I never! 

“But… there are conditions.” 

I knew it was too good to be true. 

“She will stay there rent free for two months. That should give her enough time to sort herself out. She will work at one of our shops – Checkers or Tops. It’s her choice. On the third month, she starts paying rent. We’ve paid up the apartment so we can rent it out to her cheaply. She needs to understand responsibility. And as for the ones staying in your parents’ house, they must get jobs too and we are done buying them groceries and putting their kids in school. I’m willing to sit down and listen when it comes to helping them if I can see effort from their side. But I’m not prepared to wake up everyday and work for them while they just sleep, eat and shit. We are not their maids.” 

I pick her up and spin her around in the air. She is laughing aloud as I do this. 

“I love you”. I tell her. 

“And I love you.” She says. 

Now, the road leads to Knysna.