I’m packing lunch boxes for the kids when Ntuthuko attacks me with a huge slap on my ass. I honestly just look at him because really… first of all, why is he walking around topless? He has just his tracksuit pants on. Worse, it’s raining. I’m wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt that’s tucked into my denim pants. 
Secondly, why am I being sexually harassed so early in the morning? I gave him sex last night and this morning. Is he not satisfied? 

“Maphumulo, kuyabanda. And you know how you get when you are sick.” I say.
“Hai mahn, why are you fighting so early in the morning? After unginike kamnandi so?” 
I just laugh. 
“Lalela… when is my dad’s sick child arriving?” 
He gives me a weird look. That’s not my brother, please. 
“Don’t look at me like that! My mother is currently not talking to me because of this shit. So please!”
“The ambulance arrived at King Tau Hospital this morning… just before 2am. I’ll go see him after we’ve dropped the kids off at school. Actually, WE will go see him together.” He says.
“Ntuthuko, ungazongifaka mina lapho. Angiyi lapho mina“, I say. 
“Tamia… I’m your husband and I’ve spoken.”
“And?!” I mean really… he’s going to behave like I must yebo baba him now. 
“I’m asking you to allow me to lead us with this.” 
“Ntuthuko, angisho ngivumile ukuthi sisize le ngane? Ngivumile ukuthi usize ubaba ngalamanyala. What more do you want from me?”
He gives me a disapproving look.
“Hai ngeke, Ntuthuko.” I say.
My phone rings.
It’s my brother, Ntokozo. The one I come after.
I answer the phone and put it on speaker.
He starts eating a sandwich that is MEANT TO BE LUNCH FOR THE KIDS! 
I’ve made him breakfast. Kanti yini vele?
“Ntokozo, hey.” I pay attention to my phone.
“Nonkanyiso, kunjani?”
“I’m fine. Unjani wena?“
“Kubi sisi. Mom has been arrested.”
“What?!” Me. 
Even Ntuthuko stops eating and looks at me with shock. Now we both focus on my phone.
“She went to Ermelo to attack uncane for ncane’s child being helped by you and uNtuthuko. Things got out of hand, bashayana. Mom poured ncane with boiling water that had sugar. Apparently, ncane’s skin is not only peeling off, but ncane could die. Her burns are really bad and she’s in a government hospital.”
“Uphi ubaba, Ntokozo?” 
“Trying to negotiate with the police to let mom go and possibly make the docket go away.”
I actually feel like shit. 
“Ntokozo, I’ll call you back.” I say then hang up. 
Ntuthuko tries to comfort me with a hug. 
“I knew something like this would happen”, I say. And I’m irritated.
“Ubaba is selfish! He’s fucken selfish! He knew that Mom wouldn’t be okay with him doing this. Ubaba uyakhohlwa ukuthi le vezandlebe yakhe le is a symbol of his WORST betrayal to our family! Now he’s dragged all of us into his shit and my mom could be looking at prison time because of this.” I keep going off. 
“Baby, let me talk to ubaba.” He says.
“And say what to him, Ntuthuko? Uzothini kuye? This is just a fucken mess!” I say then finish off lunch boxes and prepare to take the kids to school. 

Ntuthuko is driving with us today. I’m just super pissed off. Ntuthuko doesn’t know how to be. The kids are having their own conversations at the back. Even Sihle is featuring herself with her developing language. 
Bonga: “My teacher says Friday is the all day school trip day.” 
Thuli: “Oh ja, I heard about that. My grade is going to the royal house’s highest court. That’s so exciting.”
Bonga: “Why is that exciting? Court? Isn’t that where people fight a lot and they pay people a lot of money to fight for them?”
Thuli: “They pay lawyers when their rights have been violated. Mama is a lawyer. But mama, how come you don’t go to court and fight?” 
Ntuthuko and I giggle.
“I’m a corporate attorney, nana”, I say. 
“What is that?” Thuli asks me.
“I’m a lawyer that helps companies through their deals… I make sure they make their money ethically and that the people they go into business with don’t put them in compromising positions legally. Then when companies are being sued, I have to protect them using the law.” I say.
“What does sue mean?” Bonga.
“It’s when you take people to court to pay you for something that you are not happy with that’s related to their product or service. So if I sell ice-cream and you buy ice-cream from me then get sick because of my ice-cream, you can sue me.” 
Nkosana starts laughing then says, “My teacher’s name is Sue. I must tell her that I’ll sue her for having such boring classes.”
We actually all laugh. But I hope he doesn’t do that. Please. 
“Nina niyaphi nge-trip yenu, Nkosana?” Ntuthuko.
“To the royal cemetery. They’ll be teaching us about the history of the royal leadership in the kingdom, then teaching us about the difference between royal leadership and government leadership.” Nkosana.
“Now that’s very interesting.” I say.
“Ja. My girlfriend asked me to bring enough lunch money for both me and her… and her friends. Mara I told her she’s mad.” Nkosana.
Bonga is in stitches.
“I don’t like that girl.” Thuli says.
Ntuthuko is so chuffed by this. 
I’m just… concerned.
“Why did you tell her she’s mad?” Ntuthuko asks.
“Her friends are not my girlfriends. And naye I’m not married to her. Angisho wena baba you only give mama money and do nice things for her because you are married? So, I’m not married. So I told her that I’ll buy her one thing only then the rest of the money is mine. Phela ngisase impohla mina“, Nkosana is Ntuthuko’s son.
Ntuthuko and I just burst into laughter. 
“Why don’t you like her, Thuli?” I ask.
“She’s too forward. She doesn’t even look like she will pass her subjects at the end of the year. She has ghetto girl mentality.” Thuli says.
“What’s ghetto girl mentality?” Ntuthuko. 
“I once asked her what she brings to the table in her relationship with Nkosana and how she sees herself building with him in the future.” Thuli.
“Ay nawe. We are only in grade six, you know?” Nkosana.
“So, I’m in grade seven. But I already know that I’m not trying to be a leech one day.” Thuli. 
Ntuthuko and I look at each other.
Bonga is just laughing so hard. I wonder what he’s finding so funny.
“So what was her answer?” I ask.
“She said she will do her part at being beautiful for her husband. But he needs to make sure that she’s well taken care of… like her mom. I asked her why she’s in school then if she’s going to spend the rest of her life depending on a husband for panties and pads. She told me ukuthi ngiyaqina. Intombi yakho is ghetto, Nkosana. You deserve better.” Thuli.
Ntuthuko is almost in disbelief. Then he says, “oksalayo, Nkosana… you can’t be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t get along with your mother or your sisters. So if udelela usisi wakho omdala, mkhuze or mlahle. Siyezwana?” 
Nkosana begrudgingly agrees. But you can just tell that he blames big sister Thuli for the argument or conflict.

–

We’ve dropped the kids off at school and now we are driving to the hospital. I don’t understand why I’m being dragged into this. I don’t want any part of it. My mom is still in prison. But someone in her family who is “Team Homewrecking Ncane” sold the story to the media. My mom being the wife of the well-known business giant in Mpumalanga that is closely affiliated to government in South Africa and Tholoana Kingdom… she’s trending everywhere right now. I’m just embarrassed and annoyed. Very annoyed to be exact.
Even our car ride is silent.

“I might need to go home”, I tell Ntuthuko.
He’s silent.
“I have to be there for my mom in court”, I say.
“We will all go”, he says.
“If ncane dies, this child is not staying with us, Ntuthuko.” 
He’s silent.
“Angidlali.” I say.
“Ngiyazi ukuthi awudlali. Kodwa… uthi ayephi, baby? You know very well that your mother doesn’t want him. Your mother could leave your dad. Is that what you want?” 
“Manje ucabanga ukuthi mina ngiyam’funa?!“
“Tamia, your dad made a mistake many years ago.” 
“Then he must make a plan! Singenaphi thina kulamanyala wakhe? Why is it a community project to fix his shit that he did willingly without a care in the world about how it would affect his family? Ubaba makawuthwale umvuso wamanyala wakhe.” 
He’s quiet.
“Or maybe he can go and live with all those relatives that hate my mother, got her arrested and are now blasting her all over the media for imali yesinkwa“. I say.
Now he gives me a judgy look.
I fold my arms then look out the window. 

“I’ll wait in the car”, I say as we park outside the hospital.
“Tamia, ngicela singene phakathi. Please, Sthandwa Sami.” 
I look at him.
He kisses me. Then he says, “Please, baby wami”. 
I just get out of the car. 

…

This is your weekly reminder to NOT HAVE CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK! Especially if you are already married and especially if you know that your woman has an untapped level or potential of crazy that will keep you in a state of “yoh” for longer than twenty-four hours. 
My dad is here with us at the hospital. Wandi drove him here. When Tamia saw Wandi and Melo, she left to go chill with them at the hospital entrance area. Anything to avoid dealing with this. I’m glad my dad is here with me because I honestly don’t know what to do. 

Uncle Maboko arrives with Khabane as we await to hear some news about Tamia’s brother that Tamia herself doesn’t give a fuck about. 

Mess!

This is a mess! 

“Any news about the boy?” Uncle Maboko asks.
“We are still waiting. Is it supposed to take this long?” My dad. 
“Don’t think like that, pope. Move your mind away from there”, Khabane.
We are quiet. 
“Ona and Khotso are in Ermelo. They’ve confirmed that Tamia’s mother is out of prison. So that’s one good thing. But there’s a whole shit storm happening right now.” Uncle Maboko.
“What shit storm?” Me.
“The boy’s mother passed away”, Khabane.
I just hold onto my head.
The worst that could happen in this situation is actually happening. 
“Now, the mom’s family is expecting Tamia’s mother to pay for the funeral. And you know that they don’t have much. Tamia’s mother has told Tamia’s dad that if he so much as contributes 10cents to that funeral, she’s leaving him. She has refused to pay and everyone is shitscared to ask his kids to pay.” Khabane.
“Ona thought that maybe we could help… but it has to be  Ntuthuko’s call.” Uncle Maboko.
“Hai bo! Why me? I also don’t want that responsibility. I also received threats of my own from my wife.” I say.
“Exactly. Uncle Khotso said that if we help, it will be as if you are helping. So the question is, are you prepared to deal with Tamia after all of that?” Khabane.
I take a deep breath. 
This is so difficult. Yerrr! 

We finally see a nurse and a doctor approach us. 
We all look up at them. 
“What’s taking so long?” I ask.
“It was a difficult and long surgery, sir. We are almost there. We just have a slight problem.” 
“What problem?” Me. 
“He lost a lot of blood and he will need a blood transfusion. We have started looking for donours, but if he has a sibling or family member close by that’s prepared to be tested, it would be helpful.” 
Who’s going to go and ask Tamia? Everyone is looking at me as if I’m the one who’s expected to go and ask her. Listen here, I’m a wise man who doesn’t believe in suicide. I’m not that brave! 

…

It is 8pm now. 
We are at home. 
There’s chaos upstairs. This is the loudest hour in my house. Tamia is trying to get these kids bathed and ready for bed. Thuli and Nkosana have an extra hour to stay awake because they have to put in an hour of studying every night. Nkosana once asked Tamia what he must study if he has no tests and knows all his work. Tamia told him to go into her study, get a dictionary or that massive book she calls the Bill of Rights. That book is bigger than two bibles stacked together. Nkosana had something to study every night since that day. I don’t blame him at all. Thuli is the one who likes to read Tamia’s law books. Sometimes, I get the sense that she just might want to be a lawyer one day. What I like is that Tamia encourages her. Tamia buys her legal books that are age-friendly for her. Tamia will make her read the school’s rules and policies then they go over those documents with highlighters and pencils, understanding what each one means and when will one know when a rule has been broken. Kunzima! 

Mam’Khumalo is back home. She’s still not talking to Tamia, but at least the brother will live. We paid a lot of money for him to jump the cue and get blood asap. No one was brave enough to ask Tamia for blood, not even Wandi. And Wandi fears nothing. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the funeral. But I’m not getting involved. 

My phone rings. It’s a number I don’t recognise. 
“Hello?” I answer my phone. 
“Ntuthuko, sawubona.” 
I’m silent. 
It’s Sihle’s mother. 
“Injani bandla ingane yami?” She asks me.
“Uright. Uyakhula. Uyaphila.” I say. 
“Ngiyabona. Angazi noma ngiyaqina or kanjani… but I was wondering if I could spend the day with her? I’m in Tholoana Kingdom for a funeral of a colleague and we will be here for an extra day after the funeral. If it’s okay, I’d like to see my child and spend the day with her.” She says.
“I don’t think that would be an issue”, I say.
“Are you sure? Because your wife has made us –
“Don’t disrespect my wife. I’ll hang this phone up right now.”
“Ngiyaxolisa. It’s just… I’ve been reduced to this in my daughter’s life. It’s not easy.” She says.
“I’ll speak to Tamia about you getting Sihle for the day. When do you plan on coming through?”
“Tomorrow”, she says.
“She has school.” I remind her.
“Ngiyakucela Ntuthuko. Please. I’m on my knees, begging you.” She says.
“Let me talk to T. I’ll call you back.” 
I hang up. 
Izinkinga zami azipheli. 

–

Tamia was actually not difficult about Sihle’s mother coming over to spend the day with Sihle. I’ve driven the other three to school. I’m headed back home now because I don’t want a street fight breaking out in front of my 3 year old. 

As I get to the gate, I see Sihle’s mother standing here already. I also see one of the domestic workers making her way to the gate with a golf cart to fetch her. So Tamia knows she’s here too. I’d offer her a lift to the door, but I’d like to be married still at the end of this episode. 
I drive in, park my car, then make my way to the house. I see the golf-cart still strolling into the driveway. Our driveway is quite big and long. The gate is quite far. 

I find Tamia already sitting with Sihle in the TV room. She’s actually nervous. 
I sit next to her. 
I rub her back and kiss her.
“Do you think she will take her back?” Tamia asks me.
“It’s just a visit, baby.” I say, kissing her. 
She nods her head. 

There’s a knock on the door. Then the domestic worker leads her in.
“Sanibonani”, she greets us, but her eyes are focused on Sihle. 
“Hi”, Tamia says with a smile… standing up and heading to her. This, I did not expect. Neither did Khethiwe and I can just see the shock on her face.
Then…
Sihle refuses to leave Tamia’s arms and go to Khethiwe. Khethiwe is so hurt. 
“She’s forgot all about me vele?” Khethiwe. 
“Just sit down and relax. She will adjust.” Tamia tries to reassure her.
I say nothing. 
Khethiwe wants to cry. 
“We can maybe have breakfast?” Tamia.
Khethiwe gives half a smile and nods her head. 
Tamia gives Sihle to me then heads to the kitchen.
“Ingane yami le, Ntuthuko. Why doesn’t she remember me?” Khethiwe asks me.
“Mnike isikhathi. She hasn’t seen you in a long time. She will remember you.” I say.
“This is unfair.” She says. 
She looks different. I can’t put my finger on it, kodwa she’s different.

Tamia walks in with a tray of food. One of our domestic workers are right behind her. Sihle is put in her playpen then us adults eat. 
Khethiwe will not take her eyes off Sihle. She’s enjoying watching Sihle play and become more and more sharp.
“So how have you been?” Tamia asks her. She’s trying shame.
“I’ve been okay. Thanks. I also wanted to tell you that I’m getting married.” Khethiwe. 
Yoh. Okay.
“That’s nice.” Tamia.
“Ja. He impregnated me, so the church laws state that we must get married to defend isthunzi sengane. He’s one of the leaders at church.”
I have so many questions, but I shall exercise my right to remain silent. I married a lawyer.
“Do you love him?” Tamia asks. She knows nothing about exercising her right to remain silent this one.
Khethiwe shakes her head and says, “Cha. He doesn’t even know that I have Sihle. He thinks this child that I’m carrying is my first.”
Uvele ubone ukuthi weeeeeehhhhh!!!
“Are you going to tell him about Sihle?” Tamia. Why is she entertaining this?
“What would be the point? Sihle is yours now. This baby is my second chance at being a mother. Besides, I’ll be his fourth wife.” 
Ai ai ai!
Tamia looks at me. 
I’m not getting involved.
“I love my daughter. I always will.” Khethiwe.
“We understand”, Tamia. 
She alone understands. I don’t understand but hey, I don’t care. 
“You can come and secretly see her anytime.” Tamia.
She must have the same sympathy towards her brother and stop misplacing it namahlanya. 
“Ngiyabonga”, Khethiwe. 
This is just awkward!