I can now finally phone the Queen. The secondary royal home is ready. The new people that are now in the palace are weird. They have absolutely no money to do anything. The staff is not working anymore because these people are unable to pay them. They’ve also kicked us off the royal grounds. Thank God for my housing allowance. I used it to finally get a house. And it feels good because now, I have a house that no one could ever take away from me. Fully paid nje. 

We found a house in an old suburb that is gated. It is not a complex or an estate, just gated and it’s a stand alone house. 

It has three bedrooms inside of the house. The main bedroom has an insuite bathroom – standard. There is a second restroom facing the bedroom that Tshepo occupies. The third restroom is a half bathroom close to the TV room for guests. 

Then we have outside space. It’s meant to be a room, a kitchen, a bathroom. But Terrence turned it into his own kitchen. It’s like the chef quarters in there. 

That’s his safe space. His place of art and expression. He resigned from his head chef job and took the bold step of opening a culinary school. The school is in town. We are still in the process of getting it off the ground, but I’m so proud of him. I’m here to support him with anything and everything he needs. And he has sent a letter to my mom about his intention to pay lobola for me. The Seetes want to be part of the process, which is weird for me. But my mom says we are peaceful people. She will work with them and see how they can make sure that this process is not a conflictual one. My mom likes Terrence, so she’s very happy that we are getting married. 

The baby mamas are extremely upset. They lost more than half of what Terrence used to send them for child support – thanks to a court order. They were crossing fingers and squeezing bums that Terrence and I would break up. We got married instead. If they don’t die of a heart attack now, they never will. 

We have three domestic workers. Terrence uses two in his kitchen – he calls that massive space outside a kitchen. That’s an entire flat. But anyway… he needs two to clean in there, and he’s so particular about it. I feel bad for those ladies every time they have to go in there and clean. Then we have one domestic worker in the main house. My mom helped me selecting these women when she came to see the house for the first time. She’s still here. She monitors all the domestic workers. She says she doesn’t want chancers to end my marriage before it even starts. The ladies are elderly. There’s a Zulu, a Sotho and a Xhosa. Let’s hope they don’t hijack Terrence for their daughters. 

I’m helping Tshepo to make his bed. I’m teaching him basic manners and just how to look after himself. He’s in the process of moving in with us, so just to get him to warm up to the idea, I involved him in setting up his bedroom. He understands that when all the siblings are visiting, he has to share with the boys. The girls will sleep in the vacant room. But he likes his room. We bought a bed that is in a car frame from the show “cars”. I didn’t know about it until Tshepo schooled me. The curtains and cupboard are this theme too. 

“Mme-Meh, can we agree that when my brothers come and visit, they are not allowed to change anything in my room.” 

I don’t know how to respond to this.

“And my mom says that we shouldn’t allow them to make rules in this house because I live here and they just visit. If they make rules, I’m the one who has to live with those rules”, Tshepo neh.

“Tshepo, you do acknowledge that this is their home too, right?” I say to him.

“Ja. But it’s not their home like it is my home”, he says.

What does that mean?! 

“Baby”, Terrence says as he comes into the room. 

Tshepo and I look at him.

“I need to step out. I need to do some registration stuff and I managed to get a slot in the next hour”, he says.

He’s busy kissing me and rubbing my ass.

I feel like Tshepo is right here! 

Tshepo finishes up making his bed and he’s taking so much pride in it.

“Okay. When will you be back?” I ask him.

“I’ll be back as soon as I’m done. But I’ll keep you updated as and when my day progresses”, I say.

“I hope no one will steal you from me out there”, I say. That kind of just came out. I swear I didn’t mean to sound insecure.

He smiles at me.

He pulls me towards him.

“Tshepo, you did good with the bed, boy. Go ask one of the aunties to make you pancakes for doing the bed so well”, Terrence says. 

I know he wants to distract Tshepo so we can have sex.

“Can I have my pancakes while I watch TV?” Tshepo. 

Terrence agrees. 

Tshepo sprints out. 

Terrence pulls me to our bedroom.

As soon as we get to the bedroom, he throws me on our well made bed. He undresses himself.

“You are woman-enough for me, Meh. You don’t ever have to worry about me cheating on you. My body and heart belong to you. They are yours. Now, take your body and own it.” He says to me and I’m instantly turned on.

I climb off the bed, undressing myself. 

I go down on my knees and start giving him a blow job.

His moaning tells me that he’s happy… that he’s enjoying it. 

Then I’m hit by the reality that we don’t have much time. And I’d rather compromise the oral sex than compromise my vagina’s satisfaction. 

So I get up. 

His eyes are shut. You can see that he needs more. I sit him down on the bed.

He obliges.

I climb on top of him.

I hop on his penis. 

He’s holding onto my bum and thighs as my body parties on his penis.

He breathes heavily. I also begin to feel something come over me.

He throws me on the bed, thrusts me HEAVILY until we both moan like animals as he cums. I orgasm too.

He’s recovering now, climbing off me.

I’m recovering too.

“Look at me, Meh”, he says through his quick breaths.

I look at him, trying to get control over my own breathing.

“I love you”, he says, breathing heavily.

“Nami ngiyakuthanda,” I say.

“I’m not going to cheat on you. Do you trust me?” 

I nod my head.

He brushes my cheek and the bottom of my chin.

“I love you”, he says.

I kiss him.

He seems to be coming for another round. We are still recovering from this one! Hai bo!

“You are going to be late for your appointment!” I say, getting off the bed.

He laughs then gets up from the bed too. 

I’m busy doing some work while Tshepo watches TV. I then hear my mom telling Tshepo that he watches too much TV, so they must go for a walk together. Tshepo protests a bit, but he eventually agrees. I feel like going with them because I also need to stretch my legs, but until the Queen is back, I have to make sure that everything is running smoothly. 

I’m deep within answering calls, looking at reports, and pretty much running the queen’s office because everyone else has decided to jump ship to the new royal family sitting in the palace, when Terrence phones me.

“Hey love”, I answer my phone. 

“Stay indoors. There are protests and it’s really bad. The townships are insane. The CBD is practically about to be blown up.” He says in great panic.

I lock my laptop and run outside to see if I can find my mom and Tshepo. If anything happens to Tshepo, what am I going to say to Mercy?! Yoh! 

“Meh?”

“I’m here , baby, I heard you. I just need to go and find Tshepo and my mom. They went for a walk. I’ll phone you back.” I say.

“Meh, keep me updated! Please!” Him.

“Okay”, I say.

I hang up.

I quickly make my way out of the yard with my domestic workers. We split ourselves and go look for my mom and Tshepo. 

Only after ten minutes of running and looking for her do I decide to phone her. I think my brain just went into shock mode. 

“Hello!?” My mom.

“Mah, buyani endlini. Manje!” I say.

“We are at the gate,” she says.

“Oh thank God!” I say in relief.

“Don’t leave! Stay there”, I say.

I hang up and run back to the house.

When I get back, I phone Terrence.

“Baby?” Him.

“We are all in the house now. We are safe. Where are you?” I say.

“With my mom at her place. I was trying to get her and my sisters. But now we are closed in. They are burning tyres everywhere.” He says.

I take a deep breath.

“Lerato and Phemello are here”, he tells me.

“Why?” I instantly lose it.

“They had come for help. They came with the kids. I couldn’t put my kids out.” He says.

“And their mothers, clearly.” I say.

“Meh, you can trust me”, he says.

“I don’t trust them. What the hell are they doing there?!” I’m getting upset.

The phone line goes dead. 

I’m just annoyed now. 

ANNOYED! 

I’ve learned to dislike these women. After everything they’ve done and put Terrence through, I have absolutely no reason to like them. I’m not even comfortable with them being with Terrence right now.

I’m watching the news now to assess the severity of the situation. I don’t even know how to reach the queen outside of the stipulated hours we’ve agreed to speak in. 

Service delivery is behind. Grant payment have not been made. People are beyond upset. 

But…

Business owners are tired of people looting their shops, burning their businesses or vandalising their properties in anyway, then they just get away with it. So they are shooting people, hiring private security themselves to deal with the masses. It’s chaotic and people are dying. The new royal leaders are not saying or doing anything. They are just silent. I don’t know how long this will last. 

I get a call from Terrence. 

I hang up the call before I even answer it like he hung up on me earlier on. 

He calls me again. 

I hang up again.

Now he phones my mom and she actually answers her phone. Eish! 

Within seconds, my mom gives me her phone demanding that I speak to her mkhwenyana. He’s lucky that I love and respect my mother. 

“Terrence?” Me.

“Why are you hanging up my calls?!” Equally aggressive.

“Why are you the only person that is allowed to hang up calls?! Didn’t you hang my calls too?”

“Meh, there’s a crisis. And you want to be childish?!” 

“And what are you?! What do you call yourself if I’m childish?!”

I see my mom THROWING a THREATENING EYE at me.

“Meh, I found a way to get out. I’m coming there with everyone”, he says. 

“You are not coming here with Phemello and Lerato. They will sit outside!” I say.

He takes a deep breath then says, “what do you want me to do Meh?! Let them die in these protests? They are the mothers of my children”.

“Ungazong’daka wena! Ungalinge nje ung’jwayele kabi!”

“Meh, I’m coming with everyone.” He says.

“Try me, Terrence. I dare you!” Then I hang up. 

The weather starts closing in, and the rain starts pouring. We also start hearing noise, which tells us that the protests are now on their way here. 

My phone is now buzzing like crazy. 

I check it.

It’s the gated community WhatsApp group.

Everyone is freaking out about the protests. Someone says he’s got security at each gated section. It would be nice if we could take them food every now and then. 

People start sending proof of payments to show they’ve paid this person back to help with security and they’ve paid him to get more men. I feel peer pressure. So I also pay R2000 and send my proof of payment. 

I hear noise that informs me that the kids are now together. I’m too scared to see if Terrence called my bluff and actually brought these women to my house. 

His mother comes in and greets me. Then greets my mother. So do his sisters. But everyone is weird. So I just know that these women are here. 

“Meh, can we talk?” I hear Terrence say.

“No”, I say. I focus on my phone.

He’s hurt.

“Meh. Please.” He says.

“I said no”, I insist. 

Everyone now is uncomfortable.

Terrence walks out of the living room area. My mother and his mother are now looking at me with judgemental eyes. I don’t even care. 

“Mme-Meh, can I show my brothers and sisters our bedrooms? In fact, the whole house?” Tshepo says.

“It’s fine”, I say.

They follow each other out, Tshepo leading the pact. 

“Let’s go sit on the patio. There’s shelter, so the rain won’t baptise us”, my mom tells Terrence’s mom. 

They follow each other out. 

I just sit here.

I’m mad! 

I feel like crying.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I keep following the protest updates on the WhatsApp group. 

I see Terrence sitting next to me.

I don’t look at him. I focus on my phone. 

“Tell those women to leave my fucken yard”, I say. My voice is still very soft. 

“Meh, they’ve got no where to go”, he says.

“If uyabazwela, uhambe nabo.” I say. My voice is still soft.

“Baby –

“If they are not out of here in five minutes, I’m phoning CPF and telling them that I have intruders in my house”, I say.

“Meh –

“Five minutes”, I say.

He cannot believe it. 

“Please respect me, Terrence. This is my home. I want them gone.” I say. 

…

Lerato and I were put out of Terrence’s house. That’s actually supposed to be my house. I’m supposed to be the woman in that house. He was my fiancé. I have two kids by him – two boys! HEIRS! 

What does Meh have?! Nothing! Not even a damn child. 

I was so hurt when Terrence chose her. He should’ve told her that it’s his house and his word is final. What does this girl have on Terrence that makes him her slave like this?! I don’t get it.

The protestors are now outside of this gated area. Security was nice enough to let us stay in their security house where they are located. We had to lie and say we are domestic workers for some house. We left madam’s house to make it home to make sure our children are safe. The truth is that we’ve left our kids with a woman who couldn’t even give us shelter in such a desperate situation.

Security is dealing with the protestors outside. We are just sitting in here waiting for I don’t know what.

I actually feel like crying.

“I think it’s time we moved on from Terrence. He’s moved on. Akasifuni“, Lerato says.

“Terrence and I would be happily married with our kids right now if it weren’t for you. Your kids and Mercy’s kid wouldn’t even be in the picture if you had just been a good friend and kept your vagina away from my man. Kodwa ke, ubufebe has never been known to be considerate.” I say.

“Terrence doesn’t think so”, she says.

“Uthini?!” Me.

“Terrence doesn’t love you. He never has. I wasn’t the problem. Your relationship was the problem. If it wasn’t me, it would’ve been someone else. I know that this is difficult for you to understand, but you are not it for him. He hasn’t been with Meh that long and he’s already marrying her. He loves her. If he loved any one of us, we’d have been long married. Nothing would have stood in the way”, she says.

“Terrence and i were made for each other”, I say.

“Yoh. Wena ngathi usudinga uku-admithwa esbhedlela manje. Terrence is nothing but the father of your children. Kuphela lapho. Move on”, she says.

Next things we know, a bottle with a lit sock is thrown through the security house, breaking the window and starting an immediate fire where we are sitting.

“Phemello come!” Lerato says.

I don’t know when she got to that side of the security house.

“Terrence doesn’t love me anyway. What’s my reason to live?” 

“PHEMELLO!” 

“Will he come if I’m in hospital?! Will he love me?!”

“PHEMELLO!” Lerato is getting angry at me now.

“Wahlanya chomi oe wahao?!” I hear a security guard say.

I don’t hear anything else really. 

I just start praying, accepting my fate. I want to go in peace. The only man I’ve ever loved has left me. I have no other reason to live.