We buried bab’Zithulele two weeks ago. It was a very sad service. It was a very sad day. The days after the funeral were the worst. They were silent as everyone had left. All we had were each other. And Palesa was here. She only left five days ago. No one was even upset. We all understand that she’s a parent to her siblings. We all just felt the gap because she honestly always knew what to do. She was really here for everyone… not just Banathi. I think they really love each other. Their thing mahn, iyavutha. I remember when she had just left, she phoned me to check up on Banathi. I was sitting with Banathi and Mnqobi. I put her on speaker. 

“Hey friend”, I answered my phone.

“Friend, how’s Banathi?! Honestly? I phoned him and he said he’s fine. But I don’t believe him. Please be honest with me”, she said. 

I looked at Banathi. 

He took the phone from me, walked away and spoke to Palesa. 

Mnqobi and I keep joking that soon, they’ll be talking marriage. 

Phakathwayo has been absolutely horrible. He’s been disrespecting everyone and their dog. I don’t know if he’s been acting out or what, but yoh! The limit was when he accused Mnqobi’s mom of killing his father. Banathi is the one that fed him one hell of a fist. So there’s a Cold War between the brothers. 

Mnqobi’s mom moved out of her home. This was so heartbreaking. She bought herself a cute duplex and moved there. She told her sons that they must sell it, then split the money three ways between Banathi, Mnqobi and Phakathwayo. 

The lawyers also came to read his will. According to his will, Phakathwayo got the Soweto house where he lived with his mother, his mother’s cars, and his mother’s money. PK’s mother, Nothile, left everything to her brother. So he didn’t do anything to it. He just left it for Phakathwayo. Then he left him one establishment. 

He left Banathi and Mnqobi one house each – the note to that was that they need to, and I quote, “get the fuck out of his wife’s house.” This even made Mnqobi’s mom laugh. Her words were, “even in death, you know how to be a moringa.” Whatever that means. 

He also left them an establishment each. He wants them to grow the Khuzwayo empire and never be competitors. So the establishments are in different industries. Then he left them each ten million rands. Everything else was left to his wife. EVERYTHING! 

She’s set for life! 

Then there’s Lindiwe. 

Yoh, I don’t like that woman! I really don’t! 

She came by the house every day. I wonder when she gets time to be Banks’ wife. Honestly. But as soon as the soil was heavy on bab’Zithulele’s chest, she started talking court for getting full custody of Sasi. And Mnqobi has said “bring it on”. While we embark this legal journey, Sasi stays with us. So do Banathi’s kids: Zozo, Gugu and Ziwe. And I’ve agreed to moving in with Mnqobi AND being a mom of four until Palesa comes in officially because Mnqobi has asked me to marry him. I said yes. And there’s already a date set for the lobola negotiations. He proposed before his dad passed. But ja, we are now moving in together in this mansion that bab’Zithulele left for him. 

I’m in class now. Zaza and I are sitting next to each other. This is what is left of our squad – kinda. Mapho is now being home-schooled. She has a class and lab set up for her in her house. Goals! Ruri is in LA. We all video call each other at least once a week. She’s doing great out there. I just can’t wait to see her be a mother. I fear that child’s mouth. We are all going down to LA to throw her a baby shower: myself, Zaza, Mapho, Khanyisa, Ruri’s aunt Fifi, and Ruri’s mom. I’m not sure if the guys are joining us. 

Zaza and I have become much closer. But we obviously miss our squad. 

“Girl, how’s the new house?” Zaza asks me.

This lecture is so boring! 

“It’s big!” I say laughing.

I’m not even exaggerating. Guys…

There are six bedrooms. I have five and a half bathrooms. We have two studies. We have three dining rooms. I’m even characterising them per event. We have one we dine at every day as a family. We have one we dine at when we have guests. We have one we dine at on special days or events. 

We have about three patios. 

We have a tennis court. The yard makes my vagina WET! So fricken big! The pool is massive. We even have pool furniture and all. That house is amazing! 

It also has a maids’ quarters. And I plan to get more help. I already have Mpho and Faith who were working for me at my duplex. But this house is bigger. I need at least four more domestic workers to maintain all of this. 

“Well, we are looking forward to dinner with the Khuzwayos”, she says. I’ve invited her, Molise, Rea and Mapho for dinner tonight. I’m actually excited. It is the first dinner that I’m hosting.

“I’m seeing domestic workers after lectures today. There’s an agent that has been recruiting for me. All four need accommodation, so that works for me.” I say.

“Just make sure that their papers are correct. Those who jump borders needing work, they are usually here illegally.” She says.

“True. I told the agent that I’m not compromising on that. Mpho works hard but she generally needs weekends off. She has a family. So I don’t have her from Friday to Sunday. Faith needs to go home every public holiday or long weekend. If I have six domestic workers, we can draw up a schedule regarding who goes home and when.” I say.

“Make one of them a manager. They must deal with that themselves. You don’t need to be getting closer than you should to domestic workers. Bazokujwayela kabi”, she says.

“True! I just need to deal with one of them. Then that one manages them – from disciplinaries right up to keeping them the fuck away from my man”, I say.

We giggle.

“Don’t you want to come with me? Didn’t you also say you need one or two more domestic workers?” Me.

“You don’t mind?” She says.

“Not at all. A second pair of eyes would be amazing”, I say.

We high-five each other.

“I’m also interviewing after school teachers. I thought you’d also be interested. I need someone to keep the kids busy after school.” I say.

“The other day, I saw these kids playing with new kids they met. Our garden is so big, I don’t even know how they made it to the gate. And those kids are sooo… sexualised! Why do they have handbags at their age? Why are they wearing makeup at their age? Then Sasi asked me if she could wear a bra! The hell! We don’t need this kind of influence! So I need someone to come in, have fun keeping them as kids as long as possible, but ensuring that they are still learning”, I say.

“You are such an amazing mother, Wehweh. Those babies are so blessed to have you as their mommy”, she says.

“I really try my best yaz. It’s not like I had a mother to show me how it’s done. All this is from being raised by a single father. We really don’t give our fathers enough credit.” I say.

“Well, Mr Radebe did amazing. And he better make sure that Mnqobi more than pays those cows!” 

We laugh. 

…

It’s been a very long day. I got my domestic workers settled into their quarters. Each one has her own room. We use a garden service, so no gardeners live here. But we have three butlers. And they live here in the servants quarters as well. The men wing has the butlers, the general workers who do handy work and maintenance around here, then every weekend, they wash our cars. Three times a week, they wash our garages and pavements. So if those people date each other, it’s whatever. As long as they don’t rape each other and as long as the work is done. 

I also got two home-schooling teachers from some tutoring company. They come in to do afterschool stuff. This includes taking the kids to club sports – yes, they use the small car we’ve assigned to them – and keeps their homework exciting here at home until 5pm. After 5pm, the babies are all mine. 

I’m busy cooking dinner for tonight. Mnqobi has phoned me to let me know that he’s coming. Banathi and Palesa are coming too to this dinner tonight. I didn’t even know that Palesa was around. Good for them and I’m very happy to have them. 

Let me actually phone my dad. 

I know that he’s on holiday with his new family – Sis’Sli and her kids. They invited me. But I have school. I’m not loafing around, planning to live off my father. So I can’t just up and leave just so we can “spend time together as a family.” 

My dad came to Bab’Zithulele’s funeral with Sis’Sli. That was very nice and supportive of them. I know Mnqobi really appreciated it. 

“My baby girl. How are you?” My dad answers his phone.

“I’m good, baba. I just miss you. How are you?” I ask him.

“I miss you too. I really wanted you to be come on this trip with us”, he says.

“I have school, baba. Besides, you need to spend time with your new family”, I say.

I know I’m being silly.

“Nomawethu, what exactly does that mean? Because really… you know that you are my family. A family that doesn’t have you in it is not my family.” He says.

“Baba, that’s not why I’m calling you. I wanted to check if you went to the doctor”, I say.

He’s been complaining about his back being painful.

“I didn’t get time. Work was hectic. Then I came to this trip. I’m even working while on this trip”, he says.

“Baba, you promised. And why isn’t Sis’Sli making sure that you go?” I’m getting irritated now.

“Nomawethu, I will go. It’s just a timing thing”, he says.

“This should’ve taken preference over that stupid holiday trip of yours. Baba, I’m trying to back off and give your new family their place. But if they can’t even look after you, how am I supposed to comfortably back off?!” 

Now he’s quiet. 

I’m actually upset yaz. 

“I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow khona la sikhona. I promise. I’ll even phone you from the doctor’s offices”, he says.

“Dad, I need to know that you are okay. I’m not doing this because I’m trying to be difficult or trying to undermine anyone. I just want you to be okay all the time. Uyikho konke kimi, baba. What am I supposed to do without you?! I don’t want anything happening to you!” I say.

“I know, my baby. And I’m sorry for not prioritising this. I’ll prioritise this first thing tomorrow morning, I promise. I love you”, he says. 

“I love you too, dad.” Me. 

We hang up. 

I’m proper cooking using both the lazy makoti book and siba’s kitchen book. I figured that now that I’m about to be a wife, I need to up my game. I’m following every instruction closely. And so far, it’s looking and smelling good. 

I see Palesa walking in with a bottle of wine. 

“HEEEEYYYYY!!!” I greet her. I’m so excited to see her! 

“I’m soooooo impressed! Mama wekhaya! This is a beautiful look on you! I love it!” She says.

We hug and scream! 

Jakalas, one of our butlers, takes the wine from her. He also takes her handbag. 

“Thank you, Jakalas”, I say.

He nods his head then leaves. 

“I’m so happy for you, Wehweh”, she says. 

“Thank you so much. And I’m just happy that you will be my fellow makoti”, I say. 

We burst into laughter. 

She grabs an apron then starts helping me. 

One of my helpers, Maggie, is here helping us as well. She’s also cleaning up after us. Faith is setting up the dinner table for us. She also went shopping to get some essentials that I needed as well as fresh flowers. What’s a hosted dinner without fresh flowers?

Palesa and I are talking about a lot of things. But we also decide that we are going to see Mam’Tlali on Friday. We are just going to spend the day with her. She doesn’t need to be alone at a time like this. 

Mnqobi walks into the kitchen with Banathi and practically harasses my bum while kissing me. 

I greet Banathi when he’s brother has left me alone. He smiles at me. 

Then I notice two random men. I’ve stopped judging the company they keep. There’s no consistency. It just ranges from “you’ll stab me while snatching my bag” to “excuse me, sir. I need to go to the little boys’ room and take a tinkle.” 

“My love, this is PapJuice and Rover”, Mnqobi says to me. 

I shall exercise my right to remain silent. 

“They’ll be our drivers”, he says. 

We need drivers?

“Oh okay. It’s nice to meet you both”, I say. 

They shake my hand.

“Will you be living with us?” I enquire. 

“Yes ma’am”, they say. 

“Okay. Please come with me. I’ll ask Mpho to sort your rooms out”, I say. 

They say thank you then follow me to find Mpho. She’s my chief of staff. She also deals with the admin of their papers and making sure they are updated. She’s fair at it, not great. I told Mnqobi that we should get a part time assistant to do all this admin for us. I spend too much time training Mpho.

He told me I’m turning our home into a company. Maintaining this kind of house is a lot of work. He must give me a break. 

Dinner is nice. Even Patrick and Yolanda are here. The conversations are flowing! Kumnandi nje la! 

The kids’ table is just as loud. My kids, Patrick’s son and Zaza’s kids are all there. Patrick’s son is Molemo’s age mate, so they automatically gravitate towards each other, labelling the others as “kids”. Bona na! 

“We should actually do a holiday together yaz”, Yolanda says. 

“Where do you want to go?” Zaza asks her. 

“I don’t know. Anywhere cute. Pat keeps showing me nice new places. I had never been outside of South Africa before I met him.” 

She must just stop talking. 

Also, I don’t like how she treats Prince – Patrick’s son. And she knows that I don’t like it. Now she thinks I don’t like her. Patrick and I even fought about him choosing a skirt over his own child. Pat and Prince’s mother have a terrible relationship. But I don’t see how that’s Prince’s problem or why that should affect Pat’s relationship with Prince. 

“We should leave the kids behind”, Yolanda. 

“I actually enjoy doing things with my child.” I say. 

Mnqobi and Patrick both look at me. 

“We all need time and space to be adults”, Yolanda replies. 

“Yes, because being an adult is all about discovering a man who will pull you out of the ghetto and show you the world – without his kid.” My response. 

“Hai bo!” Patrick says, looking at me. 

I stare right back him. 

“Wena you want to control everything and everyone, wena Wehweh. You won’t even let your dad have his woman because you don’t want to be replaced by her children. You are in no place to judge me”, she says. 

I look at Patrick. 

“Yolanda!” Patrick.

“Hai Patrick! Hai! UWehweh usile!” Yolanda. 

“I hope you never marry this bitch! She doesn’t deserve to be your wife or part of our family. She loves no one in our family… not even your kid. Surely we can’t all be the problem. She’s not here for you. She’s here for your money.” I say to Patrick. 

“Fuck you!” Yolanda says to me. 

“And Patrick, stop talking about me with this street walker! I’m telling you this for the last time. Unless of course, I’ve lost you as a brother to get pussy!” I say. 

Now this street walker jumps the table like a stray cat and attacks me. Prince – of everyone – is the one who throws her off me before she can even touch me. He doesn’t like her neither. Now people are pulling us apart. She’s screaming like she was birthed on the streets… by the gutters. 

“I sue, bitch! You’ll work for me for the rest of your life! You’ll go back to work those streets you were pulled off just to pay for touching me!” I tell her.

“Thula nawe!” Mnqobi says to me. He’s restraining me. 

That one is also being restrained by whoever is willing to do so. 

She’s crying now, blaming Patrick for not protecting her. 

Uyanya lo! 

“Wehweh, you have issues!” She yells. 

“You have issues! How do you have issues with a child?! Ukwenzeni uPrince?! He’s my nephew! I’ll never get along with anyone who cannot love my nephew!” Me. 

“Weh, stop talking to her!” Palesa says to me. 

Zaza is moving the kids out of the room. Mapho is helping her.

“Patrick, lahla le yonto! I’ve never had a problem with any of your girlfriends. So you know she’s a nutcase!” I tell. 

Now Mnqobi puts his hand over my mouth. Banathi is trying to push me out of the room. In my house?! 

Someone must push this bitch out! 

She’s yelling and swearing at me, calling me all kinds of spoiled bitches. 

“You are calling me names? I’m a bitch?! I’m ungrateful?! What are you?! What does that make you?! A fucken idiot! An ungrateful rif raf! A scumbag of the earth! A local animal!” Mnqobi now throws me over his shoulder and takes me out of the dining room! 

…

Runs in different places are always exciting but frightening for me. My kids, my man and I are vacationing in Manchester. The weather is mostly wet, but my son gets to enjoy watching his favourite soccer team play… win or lose. My daughter and son decided to run with me this morning. I guess we all decided that this should be our thing while we are here so we spend quality time together. 

Now, we are walking back to our accommodation.

“How are the wedding plans coming along?” My daughter asks me.

“On hold, girl. It’s clear that Si and I have a lot of talking to do.” I say.

“About Wehweh? I thought she liked you. What happened?” 

“She does. She doesn’t want you two to move into her home”, I say.

“Why? What did we do to her?” My son. 

“It’s not even a you thing. It’s got everything to do with the unnecessary power that her father gives her”, I say. 

“He gives her?” My daughter, Cleo, says.

“Yes. And I get it, they’ve been through a lot together. But her word is bible in his life. What I expect Si to do when Wehweh complains about you guys moving in with us is to tell her that’s his house, he’s the adult and she’s the child, and that decision does not lie with her.” I say.

“I wish our father loved us like that. Imagine if our word was enough to make his world stop. Some kids have all the luck in the world. God’s favourite children, I tell you.” Cleo says.

Nathan, my son, laughs a bit. I feel crappy. My ex-husband was a horrible husband and an even worse father. I regret gifting them with that kind of father. They love Si because what Si is to Wehweh is all they’ve ever dreamed their father would be to them. Wehweh is actually selfish for being like this. 

“Mom, it’s really not that deep. I’m thirty-one years old. Cleo is twenty-one. She has school. I have a job. We don’t have to live with you. You can go live with Si. We will stay in our main house. We will come visit. Hopefully, princess Wehweh is okay with that.” Nathan says.

I’m really hurt by this. Truly. The fact that Si doesn’t care hurts me. And Wehweh rejected this vacation invitation, I felt like she rejected me. 

“I think I’ll put this wedding on hold until I’m sure about this. I don’t want to trade you in for him.” I say.

They are quiet. 

When we get back to our accommodation, Si seems to have stepped out. So we quickly shower, get ready for this wet day and I get breakfast started. Si always preaches that we should just order from wherever we are staying. But I like to add my own touch nje wherever we go. 

By the time I’m done with breakfast, Si walks in.

“Good morning”, I say to him.

“Good morning, my love”, he says as he kisses me.

“Ubuyaphi?” I ask him.

“From the doctor. I managed to get quite the early appointment.” He says.

“Doctor?” I enquire. I didn’t even know that he’s sick.

“Yeah. Wehweh has been on my case about not seeing one. Besekaqala nokuthukuthela.” He says.

Uthini lo muntu?!

“UWehweh?!” I snap.

He doesn’t seem to notice because he says, “I’ve been having these horrible back aches lately. Wehweh has been nagging me to see someone about it and I kept delaying it. I didn’t think it was that serious. But yesterday, she really had a go at me then says-

“Simon Radebe! I sleep next to you every night. I wake up next to you every morning. Uyangigibela. Ngiyakugibela. Kodwa uWehweh knows that you are unwell, and I don’t?!” I’m actually upset hey.

“She’s my daughter”, he says defensively.

“And I’m your fiancée!” I shout in frustration.

He looks at me. 

“Yini inkinga yakho?” He has the nerve to ask me that.

“You know what, you just don’t get it!” 

“What don’t I get?! Tell me so I can get it!” 

We are arguing now. 

“I’m just the person you sleep with. Wehweh does everything else for you. She’s practically in my position. She makes decisions in a house that’s supposed to be ours soon, then she –

“This is about Cleo and Nathan moving in again?!” He says, annoyed. Imagine!

“Cleo and Nathan are my kids!” 

“When did I ever say that they weren’t?!”

“THEN WHY ARE YOU LETTING WEHWEH DECIDE IF THEY SHOULD LIVE WITH US OR NOT?! WEHWEH DOESN’T EVEN LIVE IN PRETORIA WITH YOU ANYMORE!” 

“THAT HOUSE IS HER HOME! SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO EXPRESS WHEN SHE IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SOMETHING!” 

“YES, EXPRESS! NOT DECIDE! YOU ARE THE ADULT! YOU NEED TO PUT HER IN HER PLACE!” 

“That’s not how I parent my daughter!” He says, voice lower but still firm.

“Kufanele ufundise ingane yakho ukuphila nabantu. How would you feel if my kids said that Wehweh is not welcome at my place?” I say.

“UWehweh uzab’ efunani kwakho?!” The way he says this is so insulting. He sees my hurt. He’s not even sorry.

This trip is officially over for me.