Today was a long day. Mason’s funeral was sad. Very sad. His school choir was the one that was singing and Refiloe couldn’t hold back a single tear throughout the service.
Teboho MC-ed the service. It was a beautiful service. Children were there in uniform. His teachers spoke so beautifully about him. And when his coffin went into the ground, the school choir sang so beautifully and white doves were released every five minutes until the coffin was completely underground.

We all wore white to the funeral. Not black. Refiloe’s ex from the UK even came down for the funeral. I don’t know much about him. I just know that he is a huge soccer player who is playing in the Premier League. I think he has actually retired. You know these leagues, thirty-five is retirement age on average – unless you are a Christiano Ronaldo.

Uncle Shaka was JEALOUS and pissed! Every time that soccer player would pull Refiloe in for a hug so she could cry on his chest, we could literally see Uncle Shaka’s veins get more and more tense. His daughter, Luhle, had to keep him tame throughout all of that. It was quite big of her to actually come to the funeral. At some point, we even saw her go to Refiloe and help her walk to the dug up whole to throw sand and white rose petals into the ground. She was the one who also helped Refiloe throw in the grass mat that Mason was buried with.
We all thought she was being an absolute sweetheart, but when Mr Soccer Player tried to offer to hold Refiloe through this because Mason was their son together, we heard quite a violent “FOKOF” from Luhle. Then we knew that she was there making sure that her father doesn’t stand up and throw Marcus in that hole to be buried alive.

“Aren’t you tired?” Khotso asks me as he wheels himself into the bedroom and sees me in gym tights and a gym bra.
He knows that we do his physio every morning, day and afternoon. I’m keen for him to get better.
We are already back at the house. Mofomahadi said she would come back later with the boys. So it’s just Khotso and I in the house.
“Stop complaining and just come lie down here on your back”, I say.
He laughs at me.
I help him off the wheelchair and help him lie on his back.

His physio showed me the exercises that he has to do three times a day. He has sessions with him every three days. So until the next session, I’m his physio. Then he has sessions with the reflexologist twice a week. I take him to every session. I even feel like I’m neglecting my shop. I’m Khotso’s everything and still a mother to Tholoana and Mohale. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to open this shop because now my store manager is working overtime. Apparently, Ona and mofomahadi take turns with going there to make sure everything is in order. Even Tebza goes from time to time as well. I really appreciate them for that. Truly I do.
Mofomahadi comes back with books everyday and as soon as I’ve kept Khotso, Mohale and Tholoana occupied with something, she takes me through how the store performed for the day.
She’s a very good businesswoman and I’m so thankful that she hasn’t complained about taking over from the store temporarily.

As we do these exercises, I see Khotso getting an erection. He looks straight at me as this happens. We haven’t had sex since his accident. The last time we had sex was the day before I found out that he had impregnated another woman.
“You know, he still works perfectly”, he tells me as he points at his penis. He tells me this everyday.
“I know. But you are still on punishment for what you have done. I’m still hurting.” I say.
“I’m on a wheelchair. How much more punishment can I take?” He says.
I’m just silent because I don’t find that comment funny at all.
He changes the subject. Good.
“What do you think of Thabi?” He asks me.
“What am I supposed to think of her?” I ask.
“She’s going to be Ona’s wife”, he says.
ALREADY?!
I almost drop the leg that I’m working on – that’s how shocked I am.
“It’s an arranged marriage”, he says.
Now I actually laugh.
This family amazes me all the time.
“Is Ona okay with that?” I ask him.
“They both seem to be okay with it”, he says.
I nod my head and say, “Then it doesn’t matter what I think. I am exercising the need to stay out of people’s business.”

…

Khotso and I woke up this morning, made people breakfast, had breakfast and had to come to Khotso’s appointment with his reflexologist. Letlali bought me a double pram and I laughed so much when she gave it to me. This morning, it came in handy. I just bathed Mohale and Tholoana then got them to be comfortable in the pram. Obviously, Mohale protested. His words were, “Mama, this is for babies. I’m not a baby. My brother is a baby. I can walk.”
I had to beg him to just get in. Guys, I’m pushing them in a pram and I’m pushing Khotso in a wheelchair. I’m not sure how much more I can take with all of this.

As soon as we got to the reflexologist’s office, Mohale jumped out of the pram and sat on a chair next to me. Tholoana is still in the pram and he is just chilling… you know, calm. He’s not trying to be Mohale at all.

“I love you, papa. You know that, right?” I say to Mohale.
He nods his head.
“And I’m sorry about everything that has been going on”, I continue.
“You are not going to leave me, right?” He says to me.
I shake my head and say, “No, baby. If I leave, I leave with you.”
He giggles.
“You are the only mom that I have now.” He says.
I just hug him and he holds on tightly to me.
“Even if you have babies that bake in your tummy like Mnqobi’s mom, I’m not going to stop being your child? Even Tholoana? Because we didn’t bake in your tummy.” He says.
This child knows big things. I’ve been saying. His knowledge is very scary.
“Mohale, you are my baby –
“I’m not a baby anymore. Tholoana is a baby.” He interrupts me.
Yho!
“To me, you’ll always be my baby. And I love you with AAAAAALLLLLLL of my heart. I’ll never stop. You must promise me that you’ll never forget that”, I say.
He just throws himself in my arms and I embrace him.
Tholoana pulls a face as if threatening to cry.
I take him out of the pram.
“Can I carry him?” Mohale asks me.
Uhm…
“I won’t drop him, I promise.” He says.
“Okay, get comfortable.”
He sits nicely.
I put Tholoana in his arms. He actually holds him properly. I’m impressed.

I text Letlali: “The pram has been coming in very handy lately. Thank you.”
She replies almost instantly: “The chronicles of raising two under two.”
I just smile at my phone.

We hear Khotso scream. Mohale and I look at each other. The screaming is not stopping. I take Tholoana from Mohale and put him back in the pram.
“I’m not going back in there. You can hold my hand”, Mohale tells me.
This child neh…
I push the pram with one hand then hold his hand with my other hand. We make our way into the room and Khotso seems to be in a lot of pain.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“He’s getting some feeling back in his legs.” Someone explains to me.
“That’s good, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, it means we can start him with walking again when his physio gets here.”
“But why is he in so much pain?” I ask.
Khotso screams so much that I don’t listen to the explanation anymore, I look at him and brush his face.
“You are getting better. I can officially leave you now”, I say to him.
He laughs and screams at the same time.
Everyone in the room laughs.
Now he’s breathing heavily…
He is holding my hand and squeezing it hard.
“You are getting better.” I say.
He wants to say something to me, but the pain is too overwhelming for him. He just breathes and squeezes my hand.

Finally, someone gives him some drugs for his pain.
I phone Ona and let him know what’s happening. He thanks me for letting him know then promises to be on his way.

I actually didn’t even see him this morning. We buried Mason three days ago and had to move back to our house to give the family space to discuss and decide on next steps.

We sit with Khotso until Ona arrives. Mofomahadi is at my store, so she couldn’t come with Ona. But morena is here with Ona. The entire staff has to bow down to acknowledge him. He doesn’t even care or acknowledge them. He just asks:
“Can he walk now?”
“It’s still sore”, Mohale responds.
He is sitting on the bed, facing me. Tholoana is on my lap enjoying his bottle with his little foot up and held by his little hand.
Khotso is dozing in and out of sleep.

“He has feelings back in his legs, so he feels even the slightest thing happening in his legs right now. We are going to have a physio session with him as soon as he wakes up. He will still be on his wheelchair, but we will give him crutches for when he is at home. He can walk using them from one room to another.”
“How long until he walks again without the crutches and the wheelchair and his girlfriend?” Morena asks.
I’m not sure if he meant to offend me, but I’m actually offended.
“We don’t know, morena. We are doing the best that we can.”

“You alright?” Ona asks me.
I nod my head and say “Yeah, I’m good. Wena? I don’t see you anymore. You come when we’ve all gone to sleep and you’ve already left by the time we all wake up. I’m worried about you”, I say. We are eating while waiting for Khotso as he is being attended to. Morena left.
Mohale is sitting on top of Ona and Tholoana is sitting on top of me. I’m not quite sure what happened to his nanny.
“I’m keeping busy. It helps a lot. I work more and I just try to also be there for Maboko. He’s not doing too great.”
“I can imagine. But you know we want to be here for you too, right? And the boys still need you too.”
“I’m worried about you. Between Khotso and the boys… are you coping?” He asks me.
“I’m finding my way through each day. I love all of you guys.” I say.
He smiles.
“We are here for you, Lulu. You don’t have to do anything by yourself. Okay?” He says, holding my hand.
“Thank you. I hope that will still be the case when the future Dr Mohale lands in this family”, I say and we both laugh.
“Ey! The future Dr Mohale, neh…” He says and laughs.
“She’s gorgeous. I just have to put that out there.” I say.
“She is, but I’m taking my time with her. I’m also still getting over Regodise”, he says.
“Good. There’s no rush, Ona. Give yourself a chance.”
“I have to have a wife. I’m the next king. And with everything going on, everyone being in position is more important than ever.” He says.
I look at him.
“And she’s okay with a loveless marriage. It’s a sweet deal.” He says.
“You do know that us women are wired differently, right?” I say.
He looks at me with interest as he eats a spoon of his food.
“We fall in love. We can’t help it. Nothing stays loveless forever with us. That’s why we get scorned so easily. I don’t have to tell you about hell having no fury like a woman scorned”, I say.
He stares at me for a long time, then he says, “I’ll take my time. I promise.”
I smile at him.

…

Khotso has been admitted into hospital. He was in grave pain they couldn’t let him go home. Tholoana is passing out in my arms and Mohale is fast asleep next to Khotso on his bed.
Ona is pacing up and down the room. I think he’s genuinely worried about Khotso. He would die if Khotso passed away. Nature can’t test the Mohale twins like that.

Ona throws his jacket over Tholoana who has now passed out in my arms. The jacker covers a part of me as well – the part that cradles the child. Mofomahadi and morena walk into the ward. Mofomahadi has morena’s jackets over her shoulders. I guess us women didn’t prepare for the slightly cold weather today.
“Hello”, they greet us.
“Hey”, I stand up and give her a seat to sit on.
“No, nana. It’s okay. I’ll sit on the edge of the bed. You have Tholoana in your arms.” Mofomahadi says.
I stay seated.
“And then?” She says as she points at Mohale sleeping inside Khotso’s bed right next to Khotso the patient.
“You know he just runs our lives”, I say.
We all laugh.
“What are the doctors saying?” Morena asks.
“He was in a lot of pain. They had to keep him overnight and monitor his pain and its cause. They’ve taken tests. They want to make sure that they are not overlooking anything”, I explain.
They both nod their heads and say, “Okay.”

Mofomahadi sits on the edge of Khotso’s bed and starts rubbing his legs while humming to him. This woman loves her sons. Even if they were hobos, she would love them from the core. They can do no wrong in her eyes. They are grown ass men and she makes sure that they never forget that they are her only babies.
I see Khotso’s eyes opening.
I look at him.
He looks around the room.
“Why am I admitted again?” That’s his first question.
“They want to make sure that you are okay, papa.” Mofomahadi tells him.
“But I’m okay, mama. I want to go home. Morena, please tell them that I must go home.” Khotso says.
“You were in so much pain, hle. They want to make sure that they are not overlooking anything.” Mofomahadi tries again.
Khotso is not hearing it. He wants to go home!
I just end up seeing morena nodding his head and leaving the ward. I feel bad for the people who have the honour of being on duty on this very shift.

…

Morena made sure that I slept at home yesterday. But now, all these doctors are here at our house for breakfast and are here to either check up on me, take my blood pressure or annoy me with a session of reflexology and physio.
Oluremi has taken the kids to school. Morena has gone to take care of some church business. Ona is the one who will be with me during my session this morning. Apparently Maboko is joining us. My mom has gone to open the shop. I think my mom really loves it at The Sip & Read. She has all sorts of plans for it.
Last night, she was talking to Oluremi about how they should franchise The Sip & Read. But instead of making actual franchises that are stores, they franchise into academic institutions. They will start in the schools that my mother is building then go into universities. My mom told her that the school that Ona and I attended already have an appetite for having The Sip & Read on their campus.
Lulu is excited about it. Morena then asked how they would make money out of it. My mom is so invested in uplifting Tholoana Kingdom for free, she doesn’t seem to ever be focused on return on investment. Lulu just wants to see people reading. She couldn’t care less if there could be a possible cost to it. She just wants to see faces lost in books. So, it’s good that morena is asking the business questions. My mom was upset about it. But she will get over it.

“Yo!” I hear someone at the door. It sounds like Maboko.
“Follow my voice until you find a man sitting on a wheelchair”, I yell.
He starts laughing.
“Ubhari wena!” He says.
“Voetsek!” I say.
We hear Ona laughing as well. I think he’s climbing down the stairs.
“Yo!” Another voice? Oh ja, Zithulele. Apparently, we are keeping him close now because we need him to understand that he is family.
Ona is the one who meets him at the door and brings him to the area where we will be having this session – on the patio.

“There better be some hot women in this session”, Ona says.
“Yey! Yey! Yey! My wife has weird senses of just knowing shit. She probably even has me followed. Please.” Zithulele says.
We all laugh at him.
“I’m still coming out of the dog box with Oluremi. Bra, she still isn’t letting me tap.” I say.
They are all super shocked.
“Word?” Maboko asks me out of sincere concern.
“Yoh! I don’t know what to do anymore.” I say.
“But the two of you are so –
Ona cannot even finish his sentence.
“I mean we are on good terms. That’s Lulu and I. We know how to be there for each other. And we get along. Like we actually fuck with each other. Then, she will wear lingerie and shit, get into bed and then treat me like I’m a piece of shit, reminding me that I’m still on punishment.” I tell them.
The looks on their faces are unmatched. They are actually hurt for me.
“That’s fucken evil, man.” Ona says.
“So, I don’t know when she will finally give it up. But, I’m still choosing her. I’m in this position because I didn’t choose her when I should have.” I say.
“Why did you cheat on her?” Zithulele asks me.
“I don’t know. I mean, she and I had just met at the time and we were vibing, but we were not serious yet. I just happened to smash one night then the bitch fell pregnant”, I tell him.
“How do you smash a temporary bitch without a condom? You don’t know what that bitch is carrying! The situation could have been worse.” Zithulele says.
“Worse?” All of us say at the same time. We look at him to explain what he means by worse because honestly, what’s worse than what I’m going through right now?
“Yeah! She could have given you a disease instead of a child. Imagine what Oluremi would have really done if she ended up being sick because you collected that shit on the street.” Zithulele says.
“Oooohhhhhh”, we all say. We get it and he’s actually right.

“Khotso, we are ready to start”, my physio says.
The session starts. I have a physio session, but these other three men are working out with a trainer and they are working them like a dog. My session is extremely difficult today. It is practically exhausting me. I even have a pool session where after I’ve done “land” work (I.e. doing physio exercises on the patio), I go do more exercises in the pool. I’m consoled by seeing Zithulele, Ona and Maboko dying with the trainer as well. It’s actually funny to watch and it’s making my session less boring and less tense.

I see people setting up four beds on the patio. After the session, all four of us go and take a shower. Ona showers in the office – morena’s office out here. I shower in the master bedroom where my parents sleep. Maboko showers in Ona’s bathroom and Zithulele showers in mine and Lulu’s bathroom. After the shower, we go to the beds that have been set up for us. We first get massages and we are actually quiet as we get them. I think we are tired and if we are being honest, we are even dozing off. Then after the massage, the reflexologists arrive and put weird boots on our feet. These boots start pressing the shit out of our feet. We all actually wake up and start looking at each other. It’s sore, but none of us are going to scream. The session takes about an hour then we are done.

When we are done, we are all so tired and hungry. I get back into my wheelchair because I’m too exhausted to even do the crutches thing today. I just want to sleep. As we step back into the house, Oluremi is bouncing around the kitchen. Tebza and Moringa are setting up the table. When did they get here? All of us guys are super shocked. I didn’t even know Moringa was friends with Tebza and Lulu. When did this happen?
“Hey guys. How was your session?” Lulu asks us.
All of us are way too tired to match her energy.
“It was good.” Maboko is the one who replies.
“Okay, we need to eat quickly, then we are headed to help Fifi and Shaka move into their new house.” Tebza says.
They are moving in together?
And we must pick up shit and help?
Thank God, I’m on a wheelchair! Hallelujah!

Lulu helps me get onto a dining chair from my wheelchair. She dishes for me then serves me a plate and juice. Then she dishes for Ona and serves him a plate and juice as well. All the guys are looking at us – Lulu and me – amazed at how we could be like this and honestly not have sex.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you staring at Lulu and Khotso like that?” Moringa asks Legoa.
“Le wena, Maboko. What?” Tebza charges at Maboko.
There is silence at the table.
“You guys were talking about me, weren’t you?” Lulu says, looking right through us.
The only man who will not get into shit here is Ona, so he is the one who should be responding to these questions. All of us men look at him – it’s as if we all just thought of the same thing. Ona looks at us and says, “Yey! My wife is six feet underground! Don’t involve me.”
I’m not sure if that was a tasteful comment – especially because the women are here. But at Dise’s time of death, she had burned bridges with all of these women at this table, so they are not as dramatic as they normally would be.
“Zithulele!” Moringa is not letting this go.
“Khotso was just telling us how much Lulu loves him and would do anything for him.” Zithulele says.
The women don’t buy it.
Tebza’s eye on Maboko forces Maboko to say, “Except give him sex”.
Lulu is taken aback.
“As in nothing?” Tebza says to Lulu.
Lulu looks at Tebza and Moringa. Then she slyly smiles and shakes her head. All three of them burst into laughter.
All of us guys are sitting here staring at them and amazed at how evil these women are.
“Girl, isn’t that punishing you too? How do you go that long without it?” Moringa asks.
These women!
“Your man did close to a year behind bars. How did you put yourself to sleep at night?” Lulu asks Moringa.
Instead of Moringa being offended, she says, “Okay. I’m with you.”
“Thighs together?” Tebza.
“LA style!” Lulu.
They laugh!

Evil! Evil, I tell you! Evil!

…

We get to this new house that Refiloe and Shaka are getting together. By the time we arrive, everything has been delivered and placed accordingly in the house. Thabi is here and she is busy checking Refiloe’s vitals. She’s actually looking nice. She looks like she just got a new haircut. Or maybe that’s just her hair vele. I’ve only ever seen her in weaves. She’s actually a very pretty girl.
“You look good girl”, Lulu tells Thabi.
“Thank you. We all had to shave off our hair for my dad’s burial. So, I decided to go to a nice barber shop and make the short hair something that suits me. I’ve never had short hair before.” Thabi says.
Well she looks really nice.

Ona just said hi to her and there was no hugging or kissing or anything. I think they both just don’t know how to be around each other right now and you know what, it’s okay. This thing of theirs was announced way too quickly – in my opinion. Ona needs time. He loved Dise. And everyone needs to respect that instead of getting him to do unthinkable things like move on the day of his wife’s burial. Not even Shaka moved on that quickly and he has set quite the record for moving on.

For whatever reason, us men find ourselves in the kitchen with all these women. I don’t know how their conversation got here, but suddenly I hear Thabi saying, “I don’t believe that there is one way of being a parent. You don’t have to give birth to be a parent. The world is full of abandoned children and children who have lost their parents and they need love, a home and support. I don’t see why I should keep popping babies, when there are more than enough that already exist and in need of love.”
All of us men look at each other. This is why I personally don’t like sitting anywhere with women.
“So, you don’t want children?” Refiloe asks her.
“I love children. I want them. I just don’t believe that I have to give birth to them. I made a decision at twenty-one years old to remove my womb.” Thabi says.
Yoh!
Legoa looks at me. I look at him. Maboko and Ona look at us. We look at them. Why are we still in here?
“You never thought that you’d ever get married?” Lulu asks her. I’m glad she doesn’t think like this.
“Well, I never thought I’d ever be the only wife that my husband has. I grew up in a polygamous marriage. It’s normal to me. I figured if my husband is that passionate about having his own kids, he’d have his other wives to give him the kids the way he wants them – they will all probably think like him anyway. My purpose is bigger on this earth when it comes to children.”
You know, even the women are super shocked at the things coming out of her mouth.
“I opened a home for children four years ago. It is now in four different villages in Tholoana Kingdom. We take kids from three days old and house them until they are eighteen. The houses have professional nurses on board, educators and heads of houses. We train them effectively and they attend continuous training to deal with these kids. The houses also have psychologists for the kids. I have investments from people across the world. People bring in money and our budget is well-spread. We educate the kids. They all go to model-c schools minimum. We do frequent assessments on the kids and we sign them up to clubs that are attached to their interests. I’m not put on this earth to only mother one or two people that come into the earth via my vagina. I’m here to mother so many more people.”
There is silence.
“My first group of eighteen-year-olds are matriculating.” She says with so much pride.
“There are thirty of them. Twenty of them have been accepted into university. Five of the twenty are going to universities in the states. Another six are going to a university in the UK. Seven are going to universities in South Africa. Two will be in universities right here in Tholoana Kingdom.”
“That’s beautiful”, Tebza says.
“Yeah. Five are opening businesses. They’ve been in business school since grade ten because shame, I could see vele that they were not into the full-on academic life. My other five are going to colleges for Diplomas and Certificates. We are going to have a graduation ceremony for them at the main house in Merementse. You all should come. And Teboho, I’d really love it if you’d cover the branding, PR and marketing on it”, she says.
“We would love to come”, Lulu says.
“And I’ll definitely do the PR cover”, Tebza.
“I’d like to sponsor a soccer team. I’m not sure if you have boys?” Fifi says.
We all look at her.
“Two houses have housed girls and the boys are housed in two other houses. But yes, we do have boys that play soccer, but they are in clubs.” Thabi says.
“Maybe you could start your own club. I’ll sponsor it. It will be for the boys there. I’ll sponsor everything. Training camps. Soccer tours. Development. Everything. I’d love to do it all in memory of my son.”
Yoh.
Thabi nods her head then says, “We would love that. Truly. We can sit some time and put a proposal together. Then we can proceed from there.”
Fifi nods her head.

We get home and Lulu and I head straight to the TV room where my parents are sitting. My mom fetched the boys from school and we are all still weirded out by that conversation.
“What do you think about your next wife?” I ask Ona.
“Yoh. She’s a lot.” He says.
“Why?” Morena asks.
“She took out her womb when she was twenty-one”, Ona says.
Morena starts laughing. Then he says, “Is she even a woman still?”
“Mohato!” My mom.
“Why would she do something like that?” My mom asks.
“Because she’s the mother of the nation. She has homes and houses for abandoned kids and orphans. She raises them, educates them and sets them up for life. She believes that’s her calling to parenting, not pushing humans out of her vagina like the average woman.” Ona says.
He seems pissed off by this.
“That’s different”, my mom says.
“At least she’s okay with not being the only wife”, Lulu says.
We all look at her.
“Imagine if that’s what she wanted and she didn’t even want you to have other wives? She just doesn’t want the kids coming from her lady parts. She’s not stopping you from getting your children from other people”, Lulu explains.
Morena is still laughing.
“You know what, I’m definitely taking my time with Thabi. Something tells me she’s still about to shock us like never before.” Ona says.
We all actually laugh. Then Lulu says, “I actually like her way of thinking. She’s different. She’s an interesting breath of fresh air.”
“Lulu, please don’t let such influences rub off onto you, please.” I say.
We all laugh.
“Hot chocolate and donuts anyone?” Lulu offers.
“So much sugar?” Morena says.
“You could do with some sweetness in your mood today”, my mom says to morena.
We all laugh at this. But they better not start that sexual flirting shit in front of us. I don’t like how turned on morena is looking right now. I really don’t.

Oluremi leaves to make hot chocolate in the kitchen.
“Guys, we are having the cleansing next week”, my mom says.
“Okay”, Ona and I say.
Shaka walks into the room. I didn’t even hear him knock.
“Pope, we have a problem.” He says.
“Problem?”
Zithulele comes in and throws three people in front of us. They are thrown to the ground. They are covered in blood.
“We found them in the royal house”, bishop says.
Pope stands up and looks at them.
Zithulele gives Pope, Ona and I documents. Then he says, “They’ve been camping there for a month now under the instruction of Regodise Mohale. They were told where to go and how to gather evidence in there that can be used against us in a court of law. This is the evidence gathered thus far.”

Regodise! Regodise! Rego-fucken-dise!

Morena cannot believe the things he is reading. Neither can Ona and I.
“Who else has this?” Morena asks these guys.
“Some people have more. You really pissed off the wrong woman and you don’t even know who knows what about you in this kingdom as well as what they are doing with that information.” One of the men say.

Rego-fucken-dise!