Two weeks ago, we got a phone call that my father has passed away. None of us really felt anything because it’s not like this guy was significant in our lives. My mom was his mistress for I don’t know how many years. All my siblings and I came from that affair. So his wife and his main family has never rated us. And I don’t blame them. It’s okay. My beef is that this man never rated us nor ever cared for us. To be frank, I’m shocked that we were even informed that he’s dead. 

So…

Apparently, this guy still hasn’t been buried. And now we are being told to chip in to help bury him. I instantly said no. And it’s clear to me that we were only told that the dude is dead because they need help to bury him. I don’t know how I feel about burying someone who has been a ghost in my life. But Meh and her beautiful heart… she told me that if I want peace, I must do things that I sometimes don’t understand. She says when it comes to family and identity, someone crucial who can explain everything died years ago, and now everything is in the air and no one can explain why certain things are required from us. She too is going through a lot now that she recently found out who her biological parents are. She says there are things that the Seetes are requesting that she needs to do, and no matter how much she doesn’t deem them her family, she will do these cultural things because she doesn’t want bad luck. 

So, my brothers, my mother and I clubbed money together – R25 000 to be exact – and sent it to the deadbeat’s family. Now we must also attend the funeral?! Aowa!

Mercy phoned Meh – not me – and told her that she’s on standby at work, so she will need my son, Tshepo, to be with us. I just saw Meh walking in with Tshepo and his bags last night. I didn’t know anything until then. I’ll never be able to express how much I appreciate Mercy. Of all my baby-mamas, she’s the only one that I regret hurting. I didn’t love her, but I didn’t have to hurt her. 

“You okay?” Meh asks me.

She looks so good! How does anyone in a black dress, black stockings and black heels look that beautiful and respectful at the same time.

“You look beautiful”, she says.

She rolls her eyes at me. Why would she do that?! I’m not being funny. She genuinely looks amazing.

Tshepo comes out also looking good. Meh helped him get ready. I guess my family and I are ready to hit the road.

After having breakfast – I prepared it this time – we leave the house. We are using Meh’s car because she has a petrol card and we are going to another province. We are driving with my mom and my two sisters. Meh’s car is fortunately a seven seater. So we will all fit comfortably. 

“Mme-Meh, can I take my iPad?” Tshepo asks Meh.

“Okay, it’s fine.” Meh says.

“But I don’t have data”, he says.

“Take my portable router. It’s in the bedroom”, Meh say.

Tshepo gets super excited.

I smile at their interaction with each other. It’s beautiful. 

We finally leave.

The car ride is Tshepo and Meh chatting away. I get involved here and there, but I’m so happy that their relationship is growing with each and every minute. I’m sad that my other kids don’t have the opportunity to experience Meh. And I don’t understand why Meh doesn’t want to have kids of her own. She’s a natural mother. Whoever she gives birth to would be one lucky kid. I’m going to marry Meh. Yeah, she’s the one that I’m going to marry. This is my wife! 

We find my mom and my sisters already waiting for us outside. They climb into the car. My brothers and their wives are also here with their cars. I step out and greet them. We are all pretty annoyed about this funeral. But we are going because the women in our lives are convincing us to. We see the women in our lives talking to each other. The kids have found each other and want to play. The mothers are telling them not to get dirty. 

My mom starts yelling that we must get going, so we all get into our cars then leave. 

–

We arrive at this place after a three hour drive. There’s already fighting. Meh looks at me, but I cannot read her look. 

“Why are these people fighting, Mme-Meh?” Tshepo asks my girlfriend.

“I don’t know, my boy. Your dad is going to find out just now”, Meh says, staring dead at me. 

Now I must succumb to peer pressure. So I climb out of the car and head to see what’s going on. Solomon and Kaizer – my brothers- are here with me. 

As we are here, listening to the chaos and arguing here, we deduce that two women are fighting about being chief-mourners. They both didn’t know about each other and they are both my dad’s wives. Ja no, that man was a motherfucker. And there’s a shit load of people that look like us here… I’m assuming these were his kids. It’s tough! Tough, I say! 

Adults finally calm the situation down. One of them notice us and notice the nice cars that we came in. They try to be nice. They are not getting another cent out of us.

“Will you be sitting with us?” One of the wives enquire.

“No. We will be sitting with our mother”, Solomon says.

“Oh. She’s here?” She asks us.

“She is”, Kaizer. 

“I see”, she says.

“Methupi, can we please just start. We are already two hours behind schedule!” One of the men say. 

Everything here is just not right.

The tent is being bullied by the wind and could collapse on us any second now. There were limited chairs. Like, my mom is sitting on a camp chair that we found in Solomon’s boot. Meh had three picnic blankets in her boot, so we’ve put those on the floor where Meh, my brothers’ wives, my sisters and our kids are sitting. The kids are mostly sitting on the mothers’ and aunts’ laps. My brothers and I are standing at the back. 

People keep coming to ask us for chairs or picnic blankets. Unless they are prepared to walk to their houses and find chairs or picnic blankets, they can stand.

“Dumelang“, someone says to my brothers and I. 

“Sho“, Kaizer says.

“The siblings are all sitting over there- behind the wives”, she says.

I guess she’s our sister.

“We are fine here”, I say.

“Please come and sit with us”, she says.

My brothers and I look at her.

We follow to her to where the siblings are sitting.

There’s more then twenty of us. The man that’s giving his speech right now even mentions that my father had 35 children in total. 35?! Yerrrr! 

Now everyone looks at where we are sitting and they actually start counting us as if we are children in a classroom. I’m really annoyed.

The service takes a shit long time. Everyone has something to say about this guy. I already know that they are lying. They talk about him being an honest man. They must just look in our corner and see all these women and children that were his to know that he was the furtherest thing from honest. This man then decides to say that my father got aids from witchcraft. 

Ja no! 

People will blame anything and everything on witchcraft! They honestly give witchcraft way too much credit. Look at the amount of children he has! Look at the amount of women he was fucking! And we only know of these ones because they had kids with him. There are probably many more that we know nothing about. And we are shocked that aids killed him?! No guys, come on! This is actually an annoying funeral. I decide to get the fuck out of this tent. I cannot keep doing this. It’s fucken ridiculous! 

I see Meh next to me within minutes. Tshepo is right next to her.

“Are you okay?” She asks me.

“I just want to leave. I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. This guy doesn’t deserve for us to be here. He was never there for us”, I say.

“Baby, I think that you are hurting. You are too angry at him”, she says.

And now I feel emotional. Maybe she’s right. But I just hate that I had to come here. I could hurt in my own house.

“You need this closure, my baby”, she says.

“I don’t. I really don’t!” I snap. 

She looks at me.

I look away from her.

“Woza boy, come eat.” She says to Tshepo. 

She packed food?!

Tshepo is more than happy to eat. Maybe they were coming here because Tshepo was hungry.

In no time, he’s eating. She’s sitting next to him and not talking to me so that tells me that she’s upset with me. I snapped because I’m irritable. I’m irritable because I just don’t want to be here.

A message comes through my phone. 

I check my phone.

It’s my assigned lawyer from legal aid.

“A warrant is out for your arrest. Phemello Sebake and Lerato Thebe are having you arrested for not paying your child support. I need you to turn yourself in at the Taung police station. It will show good faith on your end. Then we will get a quick date with the magistrate to have your case heard. We will present all the evidence that you’ve given to me and have a judgement on this“. 

I also see a few missed calls from him. He was clearly trying to phone me as well. 

I find myself laughing in annoyance.

Meh just throws dirty looks at me.

I give her my phone to read the message before she starts accusing me of cheating on her.

Her eyes!

“We need to go. I’ll phone my brothers while we are on our way.” I say. 

She also gets into the car, then the three of us leave this circus of a funeral.

…

I’ll never understand how Phemello and Lerato think. But I’ve also accepted that it’s not for me to understand. I’m not in their position. I don’t know what it’s like to be an abandoned baby-mama where the man only wants his kids and not me. 

Terrence spent the weekend in the holding cells. Apparently, Phemello opened an abuse case against him as well. Lerato is now also accusing him of rape. When I took Tshepo back to Mercy last night – it was just him and I when his dad was inside – Mercy was quite upset that they had done that. She told me that they’ve been planning to do this, but she didn’t think they’d go through with it. She was even prepared to sit with Terrence’s lawyer and tell him this. He just made notes. Ja neh! I don’t like that lawyer. He treats us like he has many more cases to deal with so ours can wait. This is what you get for free lawyers. I’ve decided  to get him a private lawyer because I’m sick of this. I’ll just ask the queen to help me find one or recommend one. I’d ask Mme-Moholo, but the queen feels insecure every time anyone goes to Mme-Moholo instead of her. I’ve seen it within her family. So, I try my best to show her that I trust her more than anyone. And I can see that she genuinely appreciates it.

I walk into the royal house and head straight to my work station.

I find the queen already waiting for me. But I’m early today.

“Good morning”, I greet her.

Her husband is with her and he already looks angry. This man is always angry.

“I hear my head-chef is in prison”, she says.

I nod my head.

“For rape? And abuse?” Her.

“Those are the allegations, Mofomahadi. But the mothers of his kids are honestly just making things difficult for him.” I say.

“Meh, you are a smart girl. So I want you to think long and hard before you speak. Don’t be clouded by the love cloud. If he’s innocent, we will make this go away and we will deal with those girls. But if he did this, I’m going to let the law take its own course.” She says.

I explain to her everything that i know, everything that I’ve witnessed, and everything that Terrence has told me.

“Okay. I’ll make this go away. But I need to deal with those little hoodrats first. We can’t be playing this game every other day. And Terrence is my head chef… he’s in charge of the food that I eat. That is a very important role”, she says.

“I need you to help Mapho with the baby”, the king says.

“Yes, kgosi yaka.” I say.

“What about my work, Onaleruna? She’s my lady-in-waiting! Maphodile can get herself an assistant and nanny”, Mofomahadi says.

“I want her.” The king.

“Well, she works for me. Not you. Not Phuthi! Not Khotso! This thing of you making decisions with my staff without even consulting me is absolute bullshit and I’m not going to twerk for it”, Mofomahadi. 

“Reahile needs to work. Maphodile needs help with the baby. She’s a new mother!” The king shouts.

I wish they did this before coming to discuss it with me.

“If I may…” I interrupt their heated conversation. They both look at me.

“I did ask Mapho if there was anything that I could do to help her. She mentioned that it would be helpful to have her aunt come and assist her with the baby seeing that she couldn’t go home with the new baby. I’ve organised for her aunt to be brought here and I set up for her in the guest wing. She will be here in the next two hours”, I say.

They are quiet.

“So you bring guests into our house now without asking us?” The king.

“She solved a problem, Onaleruna! Because I wasn’t prepared to give her up to nanny duties.” The queen.

“Kgosi yaka, I took the initiative because I didn’t think that was something that you or Mofomahadi would want to deal with. I just thought it’s something I’d take off your plate”, I say.

He nods his head at me. But he’s not happy. At all. 

I change the subject then say, “I’ve found the location you’ve asked me to find.” 

They both look at me, paying closer attention to me.

“Let’s talk in my office”, the king says.

I’ve never been inside his office. Ever! 

I follow him and the queen to a door I’ve never walked through. The door shuts. I look around. 

It’s so big! 

There are pictures of every king that has led the kingdom… every queen that has led beside them, and every moholo that has led on the other side. This is soooo….

“Are you coming?!” The king snaps at me.

Oh?! There’s more?!

I nod my head then follow them up some staircase. There’s another door. I walk through it. This palace is massive!

I’m finally led to some couch. I sit on it. I’m so intimidated.

“We are listening”, they say.

“I found the place… the ground to build a secondary palace. It’s in Tuxi… a good nine hours away from here. The land is massive. I met with the architect from Seete constructions under the disguise of Lucilla Mokoena. They start building today. This is the plan. Each family will have their own house, as you’ve requested.” I say. 

“You sure that no one recognized you?” The king.

I nod my head. 

“But I did notice a new guy in our security team… guarding our gate. He’s a well-known criminal in KZN… He’s from Durban, but he’s made headlines so much that even the rural areas know of him. He’s at our security front gate.” I say.

“Here?!” They both express.

I nod my head.

“Is he here today?” The king.

“Yes kgosi yaka”, I say.

They both look at each other.

“Can I trust you to make sure that Mapho and the baby are safe?” The king asks me.

“Ona?!” The queen.

“SAFETY, RETHABILE! SAFETY! WE ARE CLEARLY NOT OUT OF SHIT!” The king yells.

“I’ll make sure that they are okay, kgosi yaka… while I do my job, Mofomahadi.” I say.

They look at each other.

–

I’m deep within my work at my desk – intending to finish quickly so that I can go see Terrence – when a hand knocks on my desk.

I look up. 

It’s Terrence.

I immediately get up, run around my desk and hug him. He holds me super tightly. I missed him too! 

“Are you okay?” I keep asking him.

“I’m fine, baby. I’m okay.” He says.

I keep hugging him and jumping up and down while in his arms. I’m so relieved.

We finally come out of our hug.

“I heard that you fired my lawyer”, he says, smiling at me.

“I was expecting you home much sooner. He didn’t make that happen. I got someone who could get you out as soon as possible.” I say.

He smiles at me then says, “I love you, Meh. And I regret making all these kids with the wrong women. I regret not waiting for you.” 

I hug him again.

“I need to drop something off at the main house office so the king and queen can see it. Then I’ll meet you at our quarters, okay?! I love you.” Me. 

“I’ll wait for you outside. We will drive down together.” He says.

I nod my head.

I make my way to the main office.

I head in. 

I hear noises.

Sexual noises.

This is so weird for me.

The queen and the king are having hectic sex! 

On the desk. 

I’m probably going to go blind. I’ve seen the royal couple naked. 

Ey, but these positions that they are in! They are beyond hectic.

I attempt to leave.

Some man walks in and has a gun pointed at me.

I scream! Just to let the couple know that there’s trouble.

“HELP! HELP!” I scream.

“SHUT UP!” The man screams at me.

The sex has stopped.

“Please don’t hurt me, please.” I say.

“I want your employers. Where are they?!” He asks me.

I take it he didn’t hear them have sex.

“They’ve stepped out. They are doing community work today. Please.” I say.

He puts his gun down.

Now I hear a gun shot and I hide underneath the massive desk in here.

There’s hectic commotion, so I dial Mme-Moholo. 

“Mkhaya?” She answers her phone.

“Mkhaya, please come to the palace. It’s bad.” I say.

I hang up. 

The gun shots keep going off. I can’t even see who is shooting who.

I text Terrence to get Mapho, the baby and the aunt then go to our quarters immediately. He sends me a thumbs up.

Now bigger guns come out.

After a lot of shooting, there is silence.

I’m not sure if I should still sit here or if I can come out.

I sit a while.

“Meh?!” I hear the queen say.

“Meh, please come out.” She says.

I slowly come out from where I am. 

The queen hugs me and gives me some water with sugar. My nerves are shot! It’s bad.

“You’re okay”, she keeps telling me.

“You did good, Meh.” The king.

I nod my head.

Things were never this hectic in KZN.

“I can’t find Mapho!” Rea sprints in and says, panicked.

“She’s in my quarters. I organized for Terrence to take her, the baby and Mamholo to our quarters in case there were more people in the house”, I say.

Rea hugs me.

I even catch the king smiling at me.

…

Evening 

Terrence and I are in a bathtub right now, soaking this day off. My back is facing his front. 

“You might need to quit your job, Meh. It’s too dangerous”, he says.

“Awukahle, Terrence. That’s not your call to make”, I say.

How dare he?! 

“I’m not trying to control you. But I could’ve lost you today.” He says.

“You work for the same employers as I do!” I insist.

“You are too close to them.” He says.

“Terrence, do you know how you got out of jail today?! You got out because I’m too close to our employers. Do you know how Hopolang got a heart?! He got a heart because I’m too close to them. These are good people. Akekho umuntu ongazi ukuthi ubukhosi comes with a heavy crown. They know it too. And that’s why they don’t just compensate us with money. They use their power and influence to make life better for us. I’m not leaving them. But I’ll be more careful.” 

He takes a deep breath. 

“Ngiyakucela, T. Please don’t ask me to leave my job. Ngiyakucela.” I say.

He just breathes.

“What’s going to happen with Phemello and Lerato?” I ask him, intentionally changing the subject.

“There’s a family meeting tomorrow between my family and both their families. We need to discuss a co-parenting plan moving forward. They almost fainted when the judge told them that my maintenance money must be significantly reduced. They’ve just learned that they’ve played themselves. Now they’ve gone to the elders to ask for help,” he explains.

“So what are you going to do?” I ask him. 

“I’ll go. But honestly, I’m ready for this to be over”, he says. 

I brush his wet thigh with my hand.

“Mercy phoned me”, I say.

“Okay?” Him.

“She says that you and her had discussions that once you were in a good place to live with Tshepo, she could take on international flights so that she can make more money”, I say.

“Yeah.” Him.

“She thinks you are stable now. And she says Tshepo is comfortable to live with us. She asked me if I’d be okay to live with Tshepo. I said I’m fine with it. But I’d speak to you.” I say.

“Are you really okay with it, love?” He asks me.

“Yes, babe. I really am. We can either live on these premises in the family units, or we could use my housing benefit and find something nice close to his school”, I say.

He starts running his hands up my boobs. Then, one hand keeps caressing my boob while his other hand finds itself fingering me. I start moaning. 

“Marry me, Phumelele.” He says. 

I’m shocked. But my shock tightens my vagina and his finger feels bigger inside my vagina. 

“Say yes. Please. Please marry me”, he says.

I turn around and face him.

I put his penis inside of me.

I hop onto his penis. 

He’s also moaning, grabbing onto my bum.

“Say you’ll marry me”, he says through his moaning and groaning. 

“I’ll marry you”, I say. 

And I’m actually happy saying it.

He takes me out of the bathtub, and we finish our session in the bedroom.