Mason is away with his mother and Shaka. Olu has gone back to her place because she is preparing the house to be accommodative of Khotso being on a wheelchair. She is busy replacing her staircases with ramps and just making the place wheelchair friendly. She even changed one of her toilets – the one that she and Khotso use – to a lower toilet that Khotso can use while on the wheelchair.
I’m not sure if she has forgiven Khotso yet, but I do know that the love that she feels for him right now overpowers the anger in her heart for him.

So, for the first time since we moved into this amazing house of ours, Maboko, Khabane, Ruri and I have the house TO OURSELVES! Maboko and I actually took leave from work just to enjoy our fricken house!
Khabane has gone to school and Ruri has gone to crèche. Yes, I made her start crèche when she turned six months. She is settling in very well and she is also advancing extremely well. I don’t care if that makes me a bad mother, but I need her to grow a bit. Maboko was turning her into an invalid and I was just not going to have it. She needs to understand the world for what it is – and it’s great to start them young.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never be anything like my mother. But I want a strong daughter. I’ll love her with everything that is inside of me and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her on this earth. But I do want her to be strong and be able to take on the world as it is and make it her own.

So, it’s just Maboko and I today. I’m dressed in a two-piece lace lingerie and heels. I know Maboko is in his office because I can hear him yelling at people that he is in a meeting with. He is on a call. He had to get on the call because something got messed up somewhere.
I walk into his office and stand at his door. He looks away from the screen that he is facing as everyone dialled in is appearing on that screen. Someone is explaining something to him and he just turns off the call. He is such a rude boss. But whatever… I model to him and he doesn’t take his eyes off me until I reach him. I sit on his lap and I run his hand on my thighs.
“Hello”. I say.
“I thought you were still dropping the kids off at school. I didn’t hear you come back.” He says as he caresses my neck with his lips while rubbing his hands on my thighs and stomach.
“I dropped them off, but I am back now. I’ve come to just enjoy my house with my husband.”
He already has me on his desk. He takes off his pants and I immediately climb on top of him.
I am bouncing on his penis as he enjoys me enjoy him. This leads to us baptising even my office, the gym, the kitchen, the TV room and the outside patio.
When the helpers come back from the shops, we realise that we are not all the way alone. Even the garden people are here so they may have seen us.
We are not even embarrassed. We just laugh and run our way upstairs to lock ourselves up in our bedroom.

“I’m so happy I married you, Mrs Seete”, he tells me as we lie on the carpet in our bedroom.
“I’m so happy to be married to you too. You know this thing that Remi and Khotso have been going through has made me appreciate you so much more… appreciate what we share so much more.”
He is silent.
“It also made me realise that I will not survive it again if you cheat on me again, Maboko. You cannot compromise my heart like that again.”
“Baby, I was a child when all of this happened. You and I may have been way too young for the kind of relationship that we had from the beginning. But we are much older now, love. We have Khabane and Ruri. We have our marriage. We have this life together that we are building and that we have so much to be thankful for. There is absolutely nothing inside of me that is possessed to compromise that. Every man knows when he has it all. He knows. And if you are still going to gamble on it, then you are sick. You actually need help.”
I look at him. He looks sincere.
“Since we’ve been back together and since your divorce with Linda, have you ever been with anybody else?” I ask him.
He shakes his head and says, “No. just you. Just as it was always supposed to be.”
I smile at him.
“I love you, T. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Maboko. More than you know.” I say.
He smiles at me.
“What?” I ask him.
“We lay like this the day we came from hospital after you had that abortion. We lay like this on the carpet in my bedroom of my student apartment.” He reminds me.
My body suddenly feels weird.
“Do you think our child has forgiven us? Do you think he or she has forgiven fourteen-year-old mommy and nineteen-year-old daddy for not bringing him or her into the world? Especially now when he or she is looking down on us from above and watching us love and raise his or her siblings so beautifully?”
He looks at me and says, “I’ve never really thought about that.”
“I think about it all the time. Sometimes I even wonder if we made the right decision. What if we could have been okay with that child? As young as we were –
“Tebza, we made the right decision. We would have messed that child up. We were kids. In a weird way, we had toxic families. We were not in a position to start our own family and protect that child from being completely fucked up. That was going to be our struggle child. He or she would have resented us or believed we didn’t love them because we were not in a position to give that child what we are giving Khabane and Ruri right now. And I actually believe that child knows that wherever he or she is.”
I just lie next to his naked body and think about what he is telling me.
“Do you think it would have been a boy or a girl?” I ask him.
He lightly chuckles then says, “A girl. Daddy’s beautiful baby girl.”
I smile and say, “What would you have wanted us to name her?”
He sits for a while and thinks about it. Then he says, “Phuluso.”
That name immediately makes me emotional.
He sees it.
“If she’s listening to us right now, what would you tell her?” Me, tears stuck in my throat.
He cuddles my body towards his body then he says:
“Nana, you are the first creation that your mother and I ever made. That’s very special to us. Your spirit has never died with us and we have never forgot about you. Your spirit lives in your siblings. It lives in our happy moments in this house. You are our first child and that will never change. You may not be our first born, but you are our first child. We are sorry for not being able to keep you. We are sorry that you are not here today with us – driving us crazy like your siblings do. And if anything in the abortion process hurt you in any way, I’m so sorry, baby girl.”
Now I’m crying.
He kisses my forehead, pulls me towards his chest and he cries with me.

We finally get up from the carpet. We are still naked.
“I want to go see Remi and just check on how she’s doing. You know that once your kids are back here, it’s a madhouse in here.” I say and he laughs.
“Baby, when are the people from your office coming to sort out Ruri’s room?” I ask. Ruri’s room is being transformed from a nursery into an actual bedroom for her. She’s a grown little lady now and it is her first birthday party next weekend.
“I told them to come this afternoon. So, we can go to the hospital and see Khotso. Oluremi is probably there. We will pick up the kids afterwards, come here and they should be here already working on the room.”
I nod my head.

…

We get to the hospital with flowers and fruit. We also brought food because I’m sure Oluremi has not eaten. She’s too stressed about this whole situation. We make our way to Khotso’s ward and indeed, we find Khotso, Ona and Oluremi here.
It is a loud moment of all of us greeting each other.
“Where’s Regodise?” I ask.
“She’s gone home to bury the cousin. Lethabo.” Ona says.
The mood suddenly becomes tense.
“Ey monna, how are you feeling?” Maboko breaks the awkward silence with the question to Khotso.
“I’ve been better. But I’m consoled that Oluremi is back in my life. Had I known this is what it would take, I would have asked to be ran over by a car a long time ago.”
The guys laugh, but Olu and I don’t share the joke. This is actually not funny and they see that we are upset.
“Come on, guys. We are just joking”. Maboko says.
“It’s not funny.” I say.
Silence.
“Anyway, I need to get going. Mohase is very far from here.” Ona says.
“Oh, you are driving down alone?” Maboko enquires.
“Yeah. For the funeral. Everyone is a bit caught up in their own things right now. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t drive down. But Dise needs me.” Ona says.
Maboko looks at me. I know he’s asking me if he can accompany Ona. Someone has to be there for him.
“Fine. But I haven’t packed you a bag”, I say.
“It’s fine. We can go home now and pack it.”
I roll my eyes.
They all laugh.
“You go with Ona to pick up the kids from school. I’ll go home. When you bring the kids home, I’ll give you your bag then you can go.” I say.
“Thank you, gorgeous.” He says to me then kisses me.
I can see that Ona is relieved that someone will be there with him.

…

“This place is far and hot. It might as well be in fucken Lesotho. Of all places you could have picked up a wife, you came here?” I say to Ona as we drive into Mohase.
The sun has set, it’s already dark and the funeral is tomorrow morning.
“I didn’t come here to get a wife. She made her way to civilisation and we met there. She just happens to be from this place.” He says.
I laugh at him.
“How is she doing?” I ask him. He knows I’m asking him about how Regodise is feeling.
“She’s upset at all of us. She blames us for Lethabo dying and she’s upset at Khotso for not marrying Lethabo and building a family with her and their child.” Ona says.
“Yerrr! Marriage and a family? So? To hell with Oluremi?” I ask.
“Oluremi can feature as one of the wives, I suppose.” He says.
“How did she think that would work? She wouldn’t even let you take on a second wife.” I say.
Ona and I actually laugh.
“But Khotso has always put us in shit because of having more than one woman at a time.” I say.
“Both of you! He was always fucking more than one person at a time, and you thought it was a good idea to fucken marry Linda when you’ve never been faithful to her a day in your life.” He says.
“I was okay with losing Linda. I’d never do that shit with Tebza now.”
“Does Tebza know that you are looking after Linda’s brother and mother?”
I’m silent.
“Do you want to lose your wife, monna?”
“Of course not. But since Linda and the father died, they haven’t been okay.”
“That is none of your fucken business. You know the woman that you’ve married. And you know she has no problem packing a bag, taking your kids and leaving your ass. Regodise and Oluremi will fucken help her divorce you. You clearly don’t want her.”
“It’s not like that, Ona.”
“Then tell your wife!”
I’m silent.
“Or, I can help you and just end all their lives. You wont have anything forcing you to help them anyway.”
I look at him.
“Just a suggestion”. He says.

We drive for another ten minutes. I look at this place and as I look out the window, I am reminded of my grandmother’s house in Lesotho where Refiloe grew up. As dark as this place is, it is quite a photocopy of what I grew up around.

“Tholoana is ill.” Ona says.
I look at him.
“I need to go and see him and make sure that he’s okay. Morena is getting him help in Dubai. My mom is up there with Morena and Tholoana. I wish I could be there. He is only two months old. He doesn’t deserve to be going through this.” He says.
“I’m just worried about you, Ona. I really am.” I tell him.
“Why?” He asks me.
“Tholoana is your son. Isn’t it better to tell Dise now, deal with the fall out as it is, then bring him by so he can grow up close to you? How long are you going to be living this double life?”
He takes a deep breath.
“Khotso told Oluremi”, he says.
“Yeah, and she told Tebza and Tebza questioned me about it.”
“Eish.”
“What about Tholoana’s mother?” I ask him.
“What about her? She’s married and she’s living with her husband in South Africa. She wants nothing to do with Tholoana. Tholoana has been living with the babysitter that we hired to look after him.”
“Ona, bring the child. That’s no way to raise a child.”
“What am I going to say to Regodise?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. But with everything that’s happening with your family right now, everyone has to be close. Or else someone will die. You are all under attack. This child needs to be equally protected.” I say.
He nods his head.

We get to the Thibane house and we Dise’s mother gets us sorted into the rooms that we will be sleeping in. Ona is speaking to Regodise in their room, so I decide to video call my wife.
“Hey baby”. She says.
“Hi dad!” Khabane.
“Papa!” Ruri.
“Hey guys. What are you doing?”
“Tell your dad that you are driving me crazy.” Tebza says and I laugh.
“We were doing homework and Ruri won’t stop talking”, Khabane says.
I just laugh.
I’d never trade this in for anything. This is what my life is all about. This is my purpose on earth… to live for these people and to love them endlessly.
“Did you drive safely, baby?” Tebza asks me.
“Yeah. We just got here. I’m so tired.”
“I can imagine. Try to sleep well, babe. Ruri’s room is done and it’s looking great. But she will sleep with me today because the paint still smells quite strong.”
“Okay love.”
“Baby, You won’t believe who wants to do business with me.”
“Who?”
“Thandeka Buthelezi.”
I stare at her.
“Ey, I’m uncomfortable about this. Ona needs to tell Regodise about Tholoana because his mom clearly has plans to force herself onto us.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m not replying to that email. I know that Regodise did Oluremi dirty with this whole Lethabo and Khotso situation, but she doesn’t deserve this. Ona needs to fix this. If Thandeka doesn’t get through to me, who is to say that she will not go straight to Regodise and start shit?”
“She would never test Ona like that. Nobody would.”
“You clearly underestimate the power that you men give baby mamas.”

…

Ona and I are standing outside the church smoking and drinking beer. The funeral has been going on for two hours. It’s sad shame. She was a doctor. She is survived by a ten-year-old daughter and her parents.
The family has been fighting since last night. Ona had to even pull out his gun on old men and women because of the shit that was coming out their mouths towards Dise and her mother.
It also came out that Lethabo was actually Dise’s dad’s child. Yep, the sister slept with another sister’s husband. Village scandals are honestly unmatched. I don’t even get shocked anymore. I heard them all while visiting my grandparents in Lesotho.

“I should get Dise and her mother out of here. Buy the mother a house in one of the suburbs or something. This place is toxic, man.” Ona tells me.
“Here I was thinking you love this village element the most about Dise”, I say.
We both laugh.
“It’s time man. What is she still doing here? Her husband is not even here with her neither. She can just be closer to Dise and Mohale. Dise needs her.”
I look at him.
She’s also going to need her mother when she finds out about Tholoana.
I nod my head.
Then I ask, “How is Tholoana doing?”
“I spoke to my mom this morning before the funeral. He is doing a lot better. My mom wants to return to our house with the baby.”
“When are you telling your wife, monna?”
“Tonight. When we get back to the suburbs.” He says.
“My place is available if your life finds itself in danger.” I say.
We both laugh.
“If Khotso survived Oluremi, I’m sure you’ll survive Regodise.” I say.
He laughs.

We didn’t even eat at the funeral. We were all scared that there could be poison in the food. We decided to just drive back immediately after the burial. Dise’s mom has us taking her and some relative she’s suddenly close with and has been gossiping with since we arrived to an even worse homeland – Seruri. And it’s even further away. Ona and I are most annoyed because we are not allowed to have beer around these old women. We just stocked up on water because it’s kak hot in this desert. Yer!
Ona and I keep stealing looks at each other because we are both annoyed. Dise is just distant and quiet. This Lethabo thing has really messed her up.

We get to the beginning of a hill. You need a 4×4 to climb this hill. The car that we are driving is big, but it’s a luxury car, not a hill climbing or mountain climbing kind of car.
“Don’t worry, we will walk from here.” Dise’s mom says.
Ai, this doesn’t sound okay.
“With all these bags?” I ask.
“Yes, hle. It’s very close.” She says.
Ona and I are already out of the car, carrying the bags ourselves. We start walking up the hill – with our suits and shit… and no beer, may I add.
But we walk. The old ladies are behind us and are walking much faster than expected. This is clearly a norm for them.
“We needed beer for this shit”, Ona says.
I’m just quiet. I’m scared that they’ll hear us.

We get to some house over the hill that’s dark, but big.
The aunt opens the door. These old women are even sweating. What were they going to do walking up here with all these bags?
We walk in and she starts lighting candles. This is one of those places that have no electricity. You wake up when the sun rises and you do your shit. Then you go to sleep when the sun sets.
Ona and I find space and put the bags down.
“Good night, mama”. We say.
Then we have to climb the hill again to head back to the car.
“So, I’m going to tell Dise in the car on our drive back. With you as my backup.” Ona says as we tackle this hill.
“Ah! Hai Hai Hai!” I protest.
“Please, monna. Please.” He says.
“You want both of us to die? Yho, my wife needs me. I have kids, Ona. I have a one-year-old daughter and-
“She’s not gonna kill you. That’s why I need you. You are the one who will save my life”.
“Yho! Yho! Ona.”

We get to the car and we find Dise still sitting at the backseat. I was hoping I’d sit at the backseat. Eish.
We hop in and the drive starts… with a cooler box of beer right here next to us. We need beer for the next seven hours. I’m the one who is driving now. I need to give Ona a break. He has been driving.

Four hours into the drive – the minute that Dise wakes up from her nap, Ona and I look at each other.
I face the road and I keep driving, hoping that Onaleruna Mohale will allow me to mind my own business.
“Baby, there’s something that I need to tell you.” He begins.
I just get uncomfortable in my chair. I don’t even look at Dise through the rear-view mirror.
“I have another son. His name is Tholoana”, Ona says.
Still silence.
“Baby, are you listening to me?” Ona says.
I also look at Dise through the rear-view mirror. Why is she silent?
She takes a deep breath and says, “I know”.
I cough. Ona is shocked.
“His mother found me when she was about seven months pregnant. She told me she couldn’t keep the child because she has a crazy husband. She made me promise that the boy would be taken care of and she’d never bother me again. It would be like she never existed. I agreed. Who do you think has been buying him clothes and food… feeding him the boob that Mohale has been drinking from all this time? That maid you left him with?”
We are so shocked. Ona isn’t sure what to do. I’m shocked for him. What women have we married?
“I’m not Oluremi, Onaleruna. I married you knowing exactly what kind of dog you are. I enjoyed our romance while I still could, but hey, two years later, here you are showing me your ass. This is the life you want, right? Where you sleep around and I’m just the wife that takes in your shit and helps you clean it up? Fine, let’s do that. I respect Thandeka because she understands that she’s the whore in all of this. She respects me enough to stay away. So, I’ll raise her son. I’ll make him mine. We keep it that way. But clearly, your marriage and mine is just a contractual agreement. Romantically, we are done. I’ll serve next to you and be what you need for your image. We will get Teboho to be your only image consultant – she’s the only one I can trust with the truth about our lives. But after that, you fuck your whores privately and I’ll find a way to live my life and raise my two boys.”
Ona and I are honestly too shocked to respond. Time on this road is beginning to feel unbelievably long.
Kak!