Nobantu

Gcina has started school and there is so much peace in this house now that she is gone. She stays in res because I just know that if we got her place, Romeo would move in and their family house challenge would be resolved. 

That Romeo of hers has come and has paid damages for the pregnancy. I would have been okay if he never did come here because his family came in here prepared to pay lobola. I was so happy when Qaphela sent them packing. We just accepted the payment for damages. Gcina needs to go to school and grow up before anyone can talk about her getting married. She will marry Romeo the taxi driver then my husband and I must be the ones to pay for their comfort. We would need to buy them a house and cars, yet they are married. Never! 

I don’t understand how I birthed such a stupid child. Does she not see that she is a jackpot for Romeo? “Nywe nywe, he’s my man and I love him.” 

Oh please man! 

But at this point, I’m happy for Gcina to know life. As far as supporting her, I’m done. She better make sure that she finds a job. Because the minute I start feeling like I’m more of a mother to this child of hers than she is, I’m giving her her child to raise alone. I’m done playing games with this child. 

My husband and I are treating ourselves to a honeymoon for the next few weeks. We are headed to Hawaii. I am excited and I can definitely do with the break from all of Gcina’s issues. 

“Mrs Hadebe! So many bags? Hai khona! We are not moving to Hawaii.” He says as I bring out bags to the TV room.

He laughs as he says this and I giggle. 

“I can always leave my bags then you just buy me everything in Hawaii.” I say. 

He laughs even louder. 

He takes the bags to the car and I finish up tidying the house. My domestic workers, all three of them, will be house sitting while we are away. They are different but tough in their own rights. 

I brief them: “Please, Gcina does not come here under any circumstances. She is at school and has absolutely no reason to be here.” 

They nod theirs heads. 

“Baby!” Qaphela comes in and says in panic. I look at him. 

“Gcina is in hospital”, he says. 

Great! 

… 

Apparently Gcina tried to commit suicide. I can’t with this child, honestly. She drank Jik and overdosed on some pills. She is on suicide watch and we are not yet allowed to see her. She has definitely lost the child that she was carrying. Romeo is here with people from his family. I am shaking because I am angry and I am shook that Gcina would do something like this. Qaphela is just as angry and disappointed. He has his arm around me. He is trying to calm me down, but I’m not relaxing. 

“Your family has to pay us our damages money back. Your child killed the child we paid damages for”, some woman says to us.

Is this family really doing this right now? 

“Excuse me?” Me. 

Qaphela is also on his feet because, how dare they? 

“Ngithi, we want our money back!” 

“My child is in hospital, fighting for her life. And you are here annoying us about five thousand rands?” Me. 

The family mumbles about me being disrespectful. 

“Please leave, you are not welcome here.” I say. 

They try to mumble something, but Qaphela is in my corner and exclaims, “NOW!” 

The family leaves and Romeo decides to stay. 

“You too, Romeo.” Qaphela says. 

“Can I please see her first, please.” Romeo asks us. 

“Not today. Please leave with your family.” Qaphela. 

He is sad, but he leaves. 

Qaphela and I spend another hour or so waiting to see Gcina. We kicked her off our medical aid so she is in a government hospital. 

“I’m thinking we take her to a private facility where she can get help”, Qaphela says. 

I’m not going to say anything because we all already know what my position is. 

“Then she must get booked into a healing centre”, Qaphela says. 

What Gcina needs is to make it in this world without Qaphela and I. She is a spoiled and attention-seeking brat who thinks she’s entitled to things she did not work hard for. I’m still shaking. I’m still angry. I had a tough life growing up. Qaphela had a rough life growing up. Gcina is this dramatic because she grew up with her grandmother while I sent her thousands of rands to live every month? This girl doesn’t know suffering. Now I must spend my money paying for her to go talk about her feelings because she didn’t get her way? What did she want? To marry Romeo-Wankolota and have her child at my expense? Romeo-Wankolota‘s family wants R5000 back from us for crying out loud! That time, my Hawaii trip is now down the drain. I’m annoyed. Stru!

“Nobantu!” 

I look at Qaphela who is staring me. 

“Did you hear what I have just said?” 

I look away from him. 

… 

Qaphela

What is wrong with Nobantu? I don’t want to lose my daughter. She seems ready to lose our child. Why is she so unbothered? Gcina needs to go to a private facility. 

I leave Nobantu here while I go and make the arrangements to get my daughter moved from this hospital. I don’t understand why Nobantu is so dead set against helping Gcina. I just don’t get it. And it’s starting to annoy me now. If she says one word about Hawaii during this time… 

It takes me about two hours to get everything sorted then an ambulance is organized to take Gcina to a private hospital. Nobantu and I follow the ambulance in our car.

The drive is silent. Nobantu is shaking. Nobantu has been shaking since we heard that Gcina was in hospital. This is a new behaviour of hers and I am not sure what it means. 

“Are you okay?” I ask her.

She gives me the look that she gave me when I told her that Gcina must go to a private hospital. This can’t still be about Gcina, is it? 

“Nobantu? Yini? You are scaring me.” I say. 

She just shakes. The shakes are becoming worse by the minute. 

We park outside the private hospital. Instead of stepping out to pay cash for my daughter, I pull my wife into a hug and she EXPLODES! Her cry is piercing my heart and injuring my ear. Her weep is FURIOUS and her screaming is uncontrollable. I have never seen Nobantu like this, ever! She is actually scaring me. 

“Nobantu, yini? You are scarring me, mkami.” I tell her. 

She just cries. 

Yho! Hai khona. 

After thirty minutes of crying, she wipes her tears, does something to her eyes with make-up then gets out of the car saying, “Let’s go pay for Gcina’s stay here.” 

Hawu? 

We enter the hospital holding hands. Sthembile is here. I actually forgot that she is a nurse. I hope this doesn’t become awkward. Nobantu walks right past her and I just follow Nobantu to reception. 

“Qaphela naweNobantu, hi.” Sthembile greets us. 

Nobantu says nothing. 

“Hi”, I say. 

“Is everything okay?” Sthembile enquires.

“Hai, this thing of yours is getting boring now. Namanje we are really going to argue about Qaphela and you just leaving us alone?” You know, Nobantu’s change of moods today is really scary. She has gone through at least five emotions just today and I am officially labelling her as unpredictable. So, I’m not going to get involved in this conversation because I don’t know what version of Nobantu I’m going to get if I do. 

“I’m just trying to help.” Sthembile tries shame. I wish she wouldn’t try – not today anyway. 

“What are you helping with exactly? Because I just think you are being forward and I pay way too much tax that contributes to your salary for you to come here and annoy me.” Yho, Nobantu!

“Nevermind, Nobantu. It’s fine. I hope whatever is wrong gets resolved.” Sthembile says. 

“And I hope you finally learn that your time in Qaphela’s life has expired. Kuzokusiza ukuthi you just walk the other way when you see us approaching.” Nobantu. 

Just go, Sthembile! Go!

She is her controlling self now again, making payments and demands to the hospital staff. I’m worried about this woman. Something is extremely off here. 

When she is done, we are told that we can go and see our daughter.

“I’ll wait here for you.” Nobantu says.

“Why?” 

“I can’t see her, right now. I’ll wait here. Take your time.” She says. 

What’s wrong with Nobantu?

“She will want to see you. You are her mother.” 

“Not now, please.” She says. 

I walk off to go see my child. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe Nobantu, honestly. 

I walk in and find Gcina crying in her bed. I’m not strong enough for this, but what option do I have? My wife has decided against being strong with me. 

“Ntombikayise”, I say. 

She looks at me. She cries even harder. I comfort her. You know, I’m supposed to be in Hawaii having sex with my wife – I’m just saying. 

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry. Whatever it is that brought you to this point, I’m so sorry.” I say. 

“Where’s Nobantu?” She asks me.

“In the waiting area. I can call her if you want to talk to her”. I say.

“I’m her biggest failure and that’s why she cannot stand me.” 

I look at Gcina in shock. 

“You should see the way that she looks at me, baba. If she could, she would exchange me for a junior version of herself. She wants me to be just like her. She wants to look at me and see herself in me. I’m a failure compared to her. I’ll never be successful like her and it makes her sick. This pregnancy was the last straw for her. If she could kill me and not lose you, she would. Nobantu tolerates me because she loves you. I’m the product that came from the two of you and she expected the product to be better than me. And I understand. Who did I take after because honestly, the two of you are amazing. Why am I the way that I am?” 

This just breaks my heart, honestly. What has Nobantu done to this child? It disturbs me that Gcina thinks her role and time in her mother’s life is dependent on my presence in her mother’s life.

“Think about it, baba. She left and went to Joburg because you were not around. She couldn’t be with me without you. You come back from prison, now she’s suddenly here and she can tolerate me better? She thinks I don’t see it. I do. She takes me because you come with the package that is me.” She says and keeps crying.

“Gcina, don’t say that. Nobantu is your mother and she loves you. She would have still loved you if I were not in the picture.” I don’t know how to be, what to be or what to say. 

She shakes her head.

“We are going to fix this, Ntombikayise. Please trust me. We are a family. Nobantu and I love you. We are your parents.” 

She shakes her head. 

“Nobantu hates me”, she keeps saying.

“We are going to fix this. Do you understand me?” I say, holding her hand. 

She nods her head.

“For now, I want you to focus on getting help and getting better. You’ll be taken to a wellness and recovery facility after this for a thirty day programme. Just get better. We will support you through and through. Okay?” 

She nods her head. 

“Baba, I’m sorry.” She says to me. 

“I’m disappointed, Ntombikayise. This is not how we resolve our issues. But I forgive you. It’s important to me that you understand that I’m your father and I love you. You come to me. You even go to Nobantu. Despite what you think of her, she will never let you suffer. She’s your mother.” 

“Nobantu?” 

“Yes, Nobantu!” 

She is quiet. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest.” I say.