I have just finished bathing. And by bathing, I mean washing in a dish in the only bedroom that is in this house. I wash portions of my body at a time. Today, I’m heading out to Taung. I’m going to Tholoana University and I’m going to study medicine. 

“Voetsek wena Mrembula”, my aunt tells. 
Mrembula lives in the house next to ours. They are probably arguing over Mrembula’s requests for my hand in marriage and my aunt’s continuous promises that she will marry me off to him. It’s not happening! 
Mrembula is that guy in the plot-like yard we live in that has too much money for what he says he does for a living. There are about fifteen houses in this plot-like yard. All houses are falling apart or are shacks that are really small. Our house is a one/bedroom house that’s falling apart. My aunt sleeps in the bedroom with my cousins’ children – her grandchildren. I sleep with my two cousins – Tono and Lele – on the floor in the TV room. 

My mother passed away when I was in high school. She was murdered by her boyfriend- brutally so. The fucker apparently died in jail. I used to live with my mother. She was a nurse. According to her, she didn’t always want to be a nurse. The royal house runs a programme where they research where we have a shortage of skills in the country, then they choose students to go study that and the royal house pays for that. When it was my mom’s turn to study, the shortage was nursing. She was pregnant when she got accepted into the programme, so the res that she lived in accommodated for her to raise a child. After I was born, I went to crèche while she was attending classes. 
She then graduated and she got us a flat in Tlou. We lived there together… until she met her man. 
It’s not that she abandoned me. He was abusive and he would abuse her in front of me. The one time he hit her then raped her in front of me, my mom realised that one day, he could possibly do it to me. So she sent me back here – her home – where her mother, sister and sister’s children lived. She took care of us by sending us money for food and transport for me to go to school. My cousins never prioritised school. Our grandmother and their mother were both drunks. My cousins found boys to be a lot more exciting. Tono now has three kids and Lele has one child. The three of us are not far off in age. I just have a matric and am headed to university. They barely have a grade ten. 

Three years ago, we got a call that my mother’s body had been found in a sganga. She had been raped and strangled to death. It was the most painful sight that I had ever witnessed. I had to identify her body. Then I had to wash it. Then I had to prepare her for her burial. Everything about my mother’s passing still lives in my aura. 
After she passed, we found out that she had taken savings with the royal house. It’s a cheaper way to have a trust. When you pass, the royal house controls it for you. That’s what is taking me to school. That’s what still sustains me. My aunt is upset about me leaving because it means the monthly money that comes in will now be going to just me. And I do plan to let them starve. When I leave here today, I’m losing my cellphone and I’m never looking back. I’m going to start a new life for myself and I don’t want anything to remind me of what poverty did to my family. 
My grandmother used to allow her boyfriends to rape her daughters – my mother and my aunt. That’s how my cousins and I came to be. For all we know, we could be half siblings because we possibly share a father. My aunt took her trauma to the bottle. My mom took her trauma to wanting better for me… especially after my grandmother passed away. 

Now that I’m dressed up and my hair is combed into a high bun, I go outside to spill out the water that I was bathing with. It looks like it’s going to rain. But I don’t care. I’m leaving this place and am never looking back – come rain or sunshine… literally. 
I pour out the water and start washing the tub. Mrembula walks up to me, walking out of his big house… the biggest house in this yard. Mrembula drives a nice black BMW. His house is huge. Everyone comes to this house when they need sugar, maize meal, meat or money… he genuinely helps everyone out. So when the police come here looking for him, they never find him because this entire yard protects him. 
“Smatsatsa”, he says to me, standing next to me with his hands in his pocket. 
“Mrembula, how are you?” 
“Ke shup. I’m sad that you are leaving. I always thought that I’d be the one who’d take you out of your home, bringing you into my house to be my wife.”
This guy plays too much! 
“But, this life is not for you. You’ve always been destined for more and Aus’Motlalepula made sure that she gave you and left you with enough to go out there and take what’s yours in the world.” 
Motlalepula is my mother. 
“I’m proud of you, Smatsatsa. I want nothing more than to make you my wife, but I’d never be able to give you half of the satisfaction of whatever you are chasing out there. You are going to be a big deal and I don’t want to stand in the way of that.”
I smile at him. He’s being so nice. 
“Tswara”, he says as he hands me an envelope. 
I accept the envelope. I open it slightly. So much money?!
“There’s R50 000 in there. It’s my gift to you!”
“Mrembula, no. It’s too much.”
“Smatsatsa, listen to me. This is me wishing you all the best. This is me saying that I believe in you. This money will help you settle in. You are going to a new province where you don’t know anyone. I don’t want you making stupid decisions because you don’t have money. Taung can be dangerous. Buy whatever you need… food, clothes, whatever. I know your books and fees are covered by the royal house. But just get comfortable. And know… you are the first one in this yard to make it this far. Every house in here, jealous or not, is routing for you. We want you to win. Aus’Motlalepula wants me to do this for you.”
Now I’m getting emotional. 
I hug him and say, “Kea leboha, Mrembula. Ka nnete, kea leboha.” 
“You are welcome. Besides, this would have been my bula-mlomo had I had come to pay lobola for you.”
I come out of the hug and we laugh. 
“Grab your bags re vaye. I’ll leave you at the rank in town in a taxi headed to Taung. Let’s go before this rain closes us in”, he says. That’s a two-hour drive. But it’s time I would’ve been in a taxi anyway. I’m so thankful. 

I’m saying goodbye to my cousins, my nieces and nephews, and my aunt. 
“You must send us money. If you don’t send us money you must just know that while you are comfortable and eating fancy food, we are starving”, my aunt says as she opens a cort of beer with her bare teeth. 
“Don’t forget about us, cuz”, Lele says. 
How can I? 
Lele is the one who did our hair. My aunt kept telling her to do people’s hair for money. She’s so skilled, but she doubts herself so much. Then we could only relax our hair once a year because a relaxer is expensive – so my aunt says. But to her… anything more expensive than beer is too expensive. 
“When I’m in Taung, I’ll come see you”, Tono says.
She doesn’t need to do me any favours. And she knows all about Taung because the old men she sleeps with take her there sometimes. 
I finally take my big bag that I throw over one shoulder. It’s a very large gym bag. I went to buy it because my travel bag is broken. I then throw my sling handbag over my body where I’ve also kept the cash that Mrembula gave me. 
“Since Mrembula is taking you to town, leave us with the money you would’ve taken a taxi to town with so we can buy bread”, my aunt. 
Watsiba, I actually give them the R350 that I would’ve used to get to town. I say my final goodbye then I leave. 

The car ride is comfortable.
“Aus’Mmamoleko is going to struggle without you hey”, he says. Mmamoleko is my aunt. 
“Mamholo will be fine. She’s here with her kids.”
“You were her child too, Maphodile.” 
“It didn’t always feel that way. She had her ways of really reminding me that my mother is long dead and gone.” 
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to. She took it hard when Aus’Motlalepula passed away.”
“Hmmmm…” me. 
“Seriously. They went through everything together. They were close. Losing her sister was like losing her left arm. Her drinking shot up. We all even thought she was losing her mind. Le wena you are the spitting image of your mother. Maybe looking at you isn’t easy for her.”
I just look at him. 
I feel like I lost a mother. I’m not about to understand how everyone else was coping with losing whatever she was to everyone else. I’m a child that no longer has a mother. If I could control myself and not take it out on people no matter how much they reminded me of my mother, everyone else should be able to. 
He sees that I’m not entertaining this, so he changes the subject. 

We chat until we get to the main taxi rank. The rain is pouring, but it’s not harsh. 
Mrembula gets my big bag from the boot then holds my hand and walks me to some Quantum. He makes me sit in the front and puts my big bag at my feet. I hold my smaller bag. 
He starts speaking to the taxi driver. They seem to know each other well. He even pays for my taxi ride! I hope his girlfriend doesn’t come after me. 
The taxi is full. He comes to say goodbye to me one last time then the taxi takes off. Mrembula gets into his BMW and drives the opposite direction, back to his place I suppose. 

The money was counted at the rank before the taxi took off, so I am not counting any money. This guy plays rnb music – the type that you listen to when you’ve been dumped. Some people are chatting, and some are falling asleep. I just look out the window and take in this new phase in my life. I’m actually really happy. 

Eight hours later, we enter Taung. We had two stops. The rain also had the taxi driving slower than usual. I bought the taxi driver food at one of our stops. He was being so nice to me. And we needed him fed while driving through this rain. He said thank you. That’s more than enough. 
We get to Taung main station. It’s 10pm. People climb off the taxi. So do I. 
“Eita… uya va? Mrembula said I must leave you on campus.” The taxi driver. 
“But it’s closed by now”, I say. 
“So where are you going to sleep?” 
I also don’t have a plan and he sees it. 
“Get in the car”, he says. 
I do as I am told. 
He drives me to a hotel up the road from campus. Thank God for the money Mrembula gave to me. 
“You’ll sleep here just for tonight. It’s just R2000 a night”, he says. 
“Thank you, I’ll manage.” I say as I climb off the taxi. 
“Sho”.
I close the door then poof, he’s gone like he was never here. 

I go into the hotel and it’s so nice and quiet. I ask for a room for two nights because I’m not sure how my day will be tomorrow. I pay the R4000 then I’m given a room number and a room key. I’m told that breakfast is from 6am and the best part… it’s free! Well, it’s part of what I paid for the room. 

The room is beautiful and clean. The bathroom has a toilet, bathtub and a shower. The bed is so big. There’s even a TV in here. I throw myself on the bed and just thank my mom from the bottom of my heart. This is going to be life forever. I can just feel it. 
I take a shower then get into bed. I don’t even switch on the TV. I literally just pass out. 

–

Breakfast is weird. The food is nice and everything, but I just feel out of place. I’ve had tea with eggs, sausages, bacon, beans, avo and croissants. I’ve only ever seen croissants on TV and when my friends spoke about them at school, I’d pretend I know what they are and that I’ve had a taste or two of it. But now, I finally had some and I loved it. I even had fruit and yogurt. I wonder if lunch and dinner are also included in that R2000. The food here is nice. When I’m done eating, I don’t know what to do with my dishes. I’m tempted to take them to the kitchen myself. But when I see someone my aunt’s age taking the dishes for me and asking me if she can do anything else for me, something doesn’t quite sit right with me. 

I grab my small bag and put in money, my cellphone and a pen. I lock my room then head out to campus. But it’s POURING! So I stop at the hotel’s convenience store to buy an umbrella. It costs me R700 and I’m very upset as I take out money to buy it. Why the hell is an umbrella R700? And that’s just the cheapest one. But at least it’s big, so it will do the job. 
I’m wearing leggings, rain boots, a t-shirt and a long cardigan. 
I walk to campus. The rain is insane! But I walk as fast as I can through it until I get to the admin building. I’m actually number three in the line. The two people in front of me have their parents here with them. I suddenly wish that my drunk aunt was here with me. But the ideal situation would be my mother herself being here with me. 

The student advisors take their seats at the bureau desks then we get called to be assisted. I’m assisted by a guy whose name tag reads ‘Thapelo’. He seems cool. He asks me for my details and I give them to him. He tells me that the system is reflecting that my fees are all paid up and that my accommodation is also all paid up. 
“I’ll walk with you to show you where your res is”, he says.
He really doesn’t have to, but I guess he’s being nice. 
“Jwale we will be one person short, wena Thapelo! Keng ka wena! O rata skhethe mahn!” Some girl yells. This is so unprofessional. 
Thapelo leaves with me anyway without even looking back. 
He’s wearing a sweater that reads “CAPTAIN”. The front of the sweater reads “Tholoana University Soccer”. Underneath this, it reads “Thapelo Mofokeng.” 
Okay, I’ve learned quite a lot about him by just the jacket he’s wearing.
“Do you show everyone their res?” I ask.
“Not really. But I noticed that your parents are not here with you. It can get lonely.” 
How thoughtful I guess.
He holds my umbrella as we walk through the rain.
“Soccer captain?” Me.
“Yep. I love the game. Hopefully, I can be one of the NFR legends soon”, he says.
“Nice. What are you studying?”
“I’m doing my masters in Financial Accounting”, he says.
“Yoh! Clever much!”
“Says the doctor to be”, him.
We laugh. 
We walk into some office. 
“This is my office. I’ll help you set up your timetable in here.” He says.
Bathung! 
“Oh… thanks.” I say.
He sees my discomfort then he says, “Relax, I’m just helping.”
Ey.
“So why do you have an office?” I ask.
“I’m an assistant lecturer”. 
“So you lecture, you help at the admin block and you are a soccer captain and a masters candidate?”
“Yep. I don’t have a life. Besides, I’d rather be here living my own life then be at home and be dealing with my mom bitching and moaning about my dad’s new wife who’s even younger than me.”
Yoh! 
“So where are your parents?” He asks me.
“I’ve never met my father. My mother passed away.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I say. 
The mood is now tense. 
We focus on the timetable then we head to the res. He borrows me a jacket – a rain jacket. It has his name on it and has captain written on it. Ja neh. 
I must tell him that Mrembula is my boyfriend then have Mrembula come here just to scare him a little bit. Lol.

“My baby… I’ve brought you your next sister-wife”, Thapelo says to one of the girls chilling outside the res, under the veranda. 
“My love! As long as I’m still number one, it’s fine.” She says.
“You can’t say things like that around the younger wives. Come on now. Some of things are pillow talk.” 
I actually just laugh. 
I mean really, what the hell is happening here?! 
“I’m Seponi.” She introduces herself to me.
“Maphodile. It’s lovely to meet you.” I say.
“The med-student?” Seponi.
I nod my head.
“Okay, let me show you your room.” She says.
“Where are your bags?” Thapelo asks me.
“At the hotel I was staying at. I’ll go fetch it once I’ve settled in.” 
“No need. I’ll get the first years in our soccer team to do it as part of their initiation. They need to learn how to be gentlemen.” Thapelo. 
I just laugh. 

My room is on the fourth floor. The first and second floor are BCom and Humanities degree first and second years, sharing. The third floor is third and fourth year BCom and Humanities single rooms. 
The fourth and fifth floor are all BSc and Health Sciences students sharing. Then from the sixth to the eighth floor, it’s postgraduate and single rooms. 
My room is so big. I’m sharing, but I have my own study desk, my own couch, my own fridge, my own 3/4 bed, my own cupboards. This is two bedrooms in one. It’s bigger than my aunt’s house. I laugh. Wow! 
Just as I take it in, there’s a knock on the door. When I open, some guys have brought my bag. Okay. Thanks Thapelo. How did they even get into my hotel room? Should I be complaining to someone? Behind them are people who say they are from the royal house and they’ve come to bring my textbooks and set up my laptop, printer and monitor. I let them do what they need to do while I unpack my bag. 
By the time I’m done unpacking, they are also done setting everything up. 
I make a list of all the things I need to buy from the mall…
Carpets 
Bedding
Curtains 
A school bag 
Stationary
Toiletries 
Groceries 
I’ll use a private taxi to come back. 

The door opens again and a young lady walks in with her parents. This must be my roomie. We engage in small talks and I learn that her name is Vanessa. She’s also going to study medicine. She seems really nice. 
“I was on my way out. I’ll see you when I get back”, I say as I bounce out of the room and find my way to the mall. 

Oh happy day!