I just got into my office this morning. I’m still living in a hotel. I miss my husband… a lot. I’m actually ready to just go back to him and have him love me again. 

I set up my office so that I could get the day started. I miss those kids everyday… and I’m beginning to accept that they are never coming back. I must just phone their schools and have their admissions terminated. 
There’s a knock on my door. 
I look up. 
It’s him. 
“Hey.” I say as I smile at him. 
He walks in. 
He walks up to me. 
He stands in front of me. 
“I want to come home”, I say. 
“Manje why ungabuyi?” 
“I don’t know”, I say. I even add tears so that he won’t be too mean to me. 
He has his hands in his tracksuit pockets. 
He looks up.
I can’t really tell what’s happening on his face. He’s really tall. I’m only up to the bottom of is chest in height. 
I wrap my arms around him. 
He looks at me again. 
He puts his arms around me. 
We hug. 
He holds me tightly, swinging me from side to side. I hug him, allowing myself to be vulnerable in his arms. 

He sits down on my office chair. 
I sit on top of him. 
He pulls my wedding ring out of his pocket. He holds it at me. I give him my hand. He slides it back on. 
“Tamia”, him.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever take that ring off ever again! Do you understand me?” He firmly says. 
“I’m sorry I ever did.” I say.
“Tamia, you can’t disrespect our marriage like this. You just can’t. You move out of our house. You take off your ring… yini? Umdlalo le nto kuwe?” 
“Cha. It’s not. It’s serious to me.”
“Manje how are we fighting like this because of abantu bangaphandle?” 
“I just felt so… unseen. Disrespected. Disregarded nje. I felt so… unimportant empilweni yakho. I felt like you and your family chose the mothers of your kids over me, your wife.” 
“I hear you, T. And I’m sorry for that. That has never been my intention and it’s important to me that you understand that. I’m just disappointed because I do believe that you could’ve managed this situation without leaving our house and taking off your wedding ring. It’s as if you rejected me! You rejected our marriage! And that really hurt me.”
I hug him. I fall in his arms and just hug him. 
“I’m sorry, baby.” I say to him. 
He holds me too. He’s really feeling down. 
“Knock knock”, we hear a voice. We look up. Thulisa and Bonga run to us. They hug us. Nkosana is holding Sihle and he walks to us. I get up from Ntuthuko’s lap and I hug them. Sihle dives straight to my arms. I pick her up and I squeeze her. 
Baby-mama number one is at our door looking at us. 
Ntuthuko is equally confused so I know he also knows nothing. 
“And then?” Ntuthuko asks baby mama number one… Mbali. 
“Singakhuluma?” She says, looking at both Ntuthuko and me. 
Ntuthuko and I look at each other. 
“We can chat in your office”, I say, looking at Ntuthuko. 
I get the kids settled in my office, behind my laptop, desktop and iPad. I tell them to not delete anything. They at least understand what that means now. A few months ago, I wouldn’t be this trusting. 
They get settled. 
Us adults leave for Ntuthuko’s office. 

She doesn’t look too great. 
“Can I get you some breakfast?” I offer. 
“That would be nice. And something to go as well please.” She says.
“Any allergies?” I ask. 
She shakes her head. 
I place an order with my cellphone via WhatsApp. I text the restaurant downstairs. I also order for the kids because if she is like this, what must these kids be like?

As we wait for breakfast…
“What’s going on, Mbali?” Ntuthuko gets to it. 
“We’ve decided that we will hand the kids over to you and Tamia. We can’t afford to look after them. We don’t have a choice.” She says. 
Ntuthuko and I look at each other. 
“What are your terms and conditions?” I enquire. 
“When we are around here, can we be able to see them? And please, make sure they don’t forget about us.” She says.
“It was never our intention to delete you from their memories as their mothers. Like ever. So I’ll never do that. They’ll always know who you are.” I say. 
She doesn’t seem to believe me. 
“And one more thing”, she says. 
“Ja?” Ntuthuko. 
“We need ten thousand rands each.” 
“For what?” I ask. 
She looks at Ntuthuko.
“Answer her”, Ntuthuko says. 
“We traveled here. We need to pay the driver for bringing us and taking us back. The other ladies couldn’t come up and do this, but, we need the money. It’s the last that we are ever asking of you. The kids were all crying for you… every night. They wanted mama-Tamia. So we didn’t want to bother you to ask you to come fetch them. And it’s a long way here.” 
“Ten thousand yonke pho?” Me.
“Each. So it’s forty thousand, baby.” Ntuthuko.
“Am I correct in assuming that you are selling these kids to us?” I ask. 
She’s quiet. 
The breakfast finally arrives. 
I signal to the waitress to serve baby mama number one. I tell her to wrap up another four to go, including the driver who brought them here. I ask her if the kids are sorted. She tells me that they are eating around my meeting table. 
I say thanks and she leaves. 

“I’ll personally give you R100 000. That’s R25 000 for each and every one of you.” I say.
She’s even shocked. 
Ntuthuko is more shocked. 
“But I want each and everyone of you to sign your rights over to me. I’m now the legal guardian of these kids and you no longer have rights as mothers when it comes to them. Sign your rights over to me, and you walk away with the R100 000.”
She actually thinks about it. 
Ntuthuko and I look at each other. 
“Can I go ask them? They are in the car.” She says. 
“Sure. Take them their breakfast even. Just give me five minute to print out the agreements. While you discuss it, I’ll go withdraw the cash. If my papers come back signed, the cash is all yours.” I say. 
She’s really shocked. 
“Actually, I’ll make it R200 000.” I say. 
“Baby!?” Ntuthuko. 
“Serious?” The baby mama.
“Fifty thousand rands each… and I’ll pay your driver… so the cash is all yours. Sign the papers. Give up your rights. Give me your kids. That’s it.” 
She breaths. 
I’ll go print the paperwork. 

–

They took the money. I took my kids. They signed the papers and took the money. Even Ntuthuko was both shocked and hurt. They proved what I’ve been telling him all of this time. 
We are in my office with the kids now. 
“Ushup?” I ask Ntuthuko. 
He looks at me. 
I look at him.
“Ungaphinde ung’shiye, Tamia Maphumulo. I mean it.” He says. 
“Ngeke. I promise”, I say. 
We kiss. 
“Baba, you are not allowed to do that”, Nkosana says.
“Why? Unkosikazi wami lo.” Ntuthuko.
“You just not allowed.” He says.
I find myself in his arms, hugging him. 
I have my family back. 
I’m happy. 
“Let me get them home. I’ll have them rested and fed before the tutors come in. They’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” I say to him. 
He laughs then says, “Just remember that they are kids. Don’t overwork them.” 
“I’ll try my best.” I say.
“Mama, does that mean we can go to camp now?” Thulisa asks me. 
“Yes, but we still have time before your camp. You must catch up on your work first”, I say. 
“Okay.” She says.
“Are we also going on camp?” Bonga says. 
“Only Mbali and Nkosana. But baba and I will take you and Sihle on holiday when Mbali and Nkosana go on their camp. How’s that?” Me. 
His entire face lights up. 
“Let me get going, love. I still need to fetch my things from the hotel.” I say. 
“No, I’ll fetch those things. Go home. I’ll sort everything else out.” He says. 
“You sure?”
He nods his head. 
“Baby”, me.
“Hmm?”
“Do you forgive me?” 
He kisses me then says, “Yes. I do. Do you forgive me?” 
“I do.” I say.
We kiss.
“Baba!” Nkosana.
“I’m sorry!” Ntuthuko. 
Lol! 
“Okay, can we use your car? There’s five of us and one of you.” I say.
He laughs and says, “this car is my gift!”
“Please!” I say. 
He gives me his keys. 
I give him my GLC keys and my hotel room key card. 
The kids and I finally leave. 

The minute we get home, they go crazy. The idea was to get them bathed, rested and ready for their tutors. But they run to their bedrooms and they are super excited to be back. 
“Guys, please bath. Then come back downstairs for lunch. Your tutors are coming after lunch.” I say.
“Why? We are tired.” Thulisa. 
Ey, this one. 
“You have to catch up, baby. You go back to school next week.” I say. 
“We can be with tutors tomorrow”, Bonga. 
“Today, babies. Please babies. I’m asking.” I say. 
“Fine.” They all say and head up. 
“Bonga, I’ll come help you now.” I say.
“What about Sihle?” He asks me.
“I’ll bath her when you guys are busy with your tutors”, I say. The way this boy doesn’t even want to be a baby nje. 

The bathing and lunch prep is a bit easy. I have Sihle on my back and everything is just working out smoothly. My domestic workers are also busy in the house. You can tell that they want to ask me where I’ve been. But it’s none of their business. I’m their boss. I ask them to set up for the tutors on the third floor… that area vele is for work like this. 

For lunch, they have chips, burgers and juice. They actually enjoy it. Sihle still has her mash potatoes with skinless chicken. The tutors arrive after lunch and the three go up to attend to their books. I head to bath Sihle. 

Now that she’s all bathed up and fed, it’s easy putting her to sleep. And she sleeps. I put her in her room, then I go set up my laptop in the living room and work. 
At 5pm, Ntuthuko arrives. 
I’m given a kiss to let me know that’s he’s in the house. 
“Hey baby.” I greet him.
“Kunjani?” Him.
“I’m okay. The kids are all busy with school. They tried to complain about school… but they got their head around it.” I tell him.
“They went up against an advocate. They were never going to win.”
We both laugh. 
“Sihle is asleep. She was tired, shame. She ate and bathed… then she was out like a light.” I tell him. 
“So that means that we have some time to miss each other. It’s been a dry two weeks, baby.” He says. 
I’m already leading him upstairs. And we. Actually spend over an hour just fucking each other. 

“I missed you, fuck!” He says. 
We are still in each others’ arms, absolutely naked. 
“I missed you too. I’m not leaving you again, baby.” I tell him. 
He kisses me then gives me another round of good sex.
–
“Have you spoken to your parents and MaNdlovu yet?” I ask him. 
“My parents know that the kids are back and you paid off the mothers. MaNdlovu too.” 
“And?”
“My parents are happy you are back. MaNdlovu is still herself. But this is over. We are not dealing with this again.” He says.
“I don’t see myself going to eMtubatuba again.” I say.
“No, don’t say that. We will manage this. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise.” He says. 
“I spoke to Mam’Fifi.” I say.
And?” 
“I know I have to make this right. And I will. But not with MaNdlovu.” 
He laughs. 
“And… I have an awards event tomorrow night. It’s a black tie event. I have tickets for your parents, us two, Wandi and Senzi.” 
“Black tie? Yoh baby, the first and last time I wore a suit was at our wedding, please.” 
I laugh and say, “you married an attorney. Please baby.” 
“Yoh baby. Hai mfwethu.” He keeps complaining. 
“Come on love. It’s my small way of making it up to everyone. We’ve been through a lot. Please love. The evening is on me. And it will be a nice environment for me to apologise.” 
“Only because I love you.” He says.
“And I love you too, papi.” I say.
We conclude this with another round of sex. 

…

Tonight is this awards evening thing kaTamia. Ukuthi mina ngiyaphi, ngeke ngikutshele. Angiyena ummeli. But having my dad and my brother here is making all the difference. We are all dressed up in suits, drinking whiskey in my living room while the women are getting their hair and makeup done upstairs. Tamia really did apologise to my parents, shame. She bought my dad a fifty year old Macallan whiskey. Shame, uhlawulile ubaby. But my dad is busy drinking my whiskey here and is not prepared to share his bottle that he’s just been gifted. He is so happy. I’m happy for him. But I want some of that whiskey. She bought my mom some expensive bottle of wine as well. I don’t know what it’s called. But even she is scared to open her own bottle of alcohol. Ay, inhlawulo lo’tshwala. Buyaphuzwa! 
But hey…

“I think Akwande is having sex”, my dad says. 
Senzi and I look at each other. Then we look at him. Then we laugh. 
He also laughs then says, “I’m serious. I watched him pee the other day.” 
“Why would you do that?” Senzi.
“Because I needed to know.” My dad.
We continue to laugh. 
“Okay, what made you suspect him to begin with?” I ask him.
“His mother was upset because she found blood in his sheets when she was sorting out laundry for usisi osisizayo endlini. She shat on me, saying I need to speak to Akwande because akafuni ukuthi alale namantombazane right now… he’s too young.” 
We actually cannot help but laugh.
“The only issue is that I don’t want is him having kids. He’s still in high school. I also don’t want him catching a disease. But I mean… at his age, I was already having sex.” My dad says. 
Now Senzi and I are in stitches. 
“So, I first asked him… straight up. I asked him if he’s having sex. He denied it. But I didn’t believe him. I told him that he better not be having sex in my house because if I ever catch him having sex in my house, I will kick him out of my house. He got a bit scared there. You know your brother is more soft than the two of you. Then I told him to pee in front of me.” 
“How does that help?” I ask. 
He looks at us. 
“Call Nkosana or Bonga.” My dad. 
Senzi and I look at each other. 
“Trust me. Call them.” He says.
“Nkosana!” I call my son. 
“Yes?” He yells back. 
“Come here”, I say. 
I hear him running down. At least he runs down alone. I don’t know what I would’ve said if Thulisa ran down too because I don’t even know what my dad wants to show us. 

“Kunjani boy?” My dad. 
“Ngikhona mkhulu.” Nkosana. 
“I need a favour. I want to show your dads something.” 
“Okay.”
“I want you to pee.”
Nkosana laughs. 
This just makes Senzi and I laugh.
“I’m serious. You are going to pee. Then your dad is going to pee.” My dad.
“I must pee while you guys look at me?” Nkosana asks a very relevant question. I also don’t know how I feel about this. 
“Yep. Then your dad will pee while we all look at him.” 
Nkosana laughs. 
We all laugh. 
“Come, let’s go try.” My dad.
We go to one of the half bathrooms down here. 

Nkosana pees first. He’s not able to control his dick properly yet. But he’s also laughing so that’s a contributing factor to the mess he’s kind of making. When he’s done, I remind him to wipe the toilet seat. He does then flushes. 
“Baba, it’s your turn now.” Nkosana says. 
I give Senzi my drink. 
I pee.
It’s weird as fuck, but hey. 
When I’m done, my dad says, “uyabonakala ukuthi wena uyasebenza. Your pee is closer towards you. UNkosana pees far from him. That’s how you tell if a man is busy or not. That’s how you test a man’s virginity. If he still pees far, that’s still a boy. When he pees closer towards him, that’s a man.” 
Oh shit.
Senzi and I have been schooled. 
“So what’s Akwande?” Senzi asks.
“A man.” My dad. 
Yoh! 
“Can I go now?” Nkosana.
We actually forgot that he’s still here. 
We laugh.
Senzi reminds him to wash his hands. He does, then he leaves. 
“Why are you all in a toilet?” Tamia asks us.
We look at each other.
“Nkosana.” Tamia.
“Yes mama?”
“What were you doing here?” Tamia.
“Hai hai hai hai hai!” The three of us say at the same time. Nkosana laughs. 
“Nkosana, upstairs”, I say.
He laughs then leaves. 
“What’s going on?” Wandi asks.
“Dad was just teaching us something new about our bodies as men.” Senzi says.
The women look at each other, not convinced. 
“Are you guys ready?” I ask, kissing Tamia. 
She looks amazing. They all do. 
“Yeah. We are all ready. And the car is here.” Tamia says. 
I see my dad and my brother wrapped around their wives too. 
“Shall we?” My dad. 
Mam’Fifi smiles. 
We all leave. 

We are travelling in a luxury V300 to this event. 
These women look nice. So beautiful. We have a nanny looking after the kids. Akwande was also meant to come over, but apparently he said he was studying tonight. After what my dad told us, I’m not so sure anymore if that’s all he does when he’s home alone. 

“So what kind of awards do you guys get at such events? Biggest liar of the year or?” My dad.
We all actually laugh. Even Tamia. She’s never offended by my dad’s lawyer jokes. 
She explains that the awards evening is acknowledging the work that legal has in communities and in society at large. She’s in legal, but works with companies. So she’s the legal head for any company going into business or operating in general. The award that she has been nominated for is something to do with the kind of money she’s brought in for companies and as well as the impact that she’s had for NGOs that she has consulted for. 
“So if I wanted to get you to have a look at some of my company documents, how much are we looking at as far as your rate is concerned?” My dad. 
My dad better not put my wife in the church. Please.
“As a full time employee or just as a part time consultant?” Tamia asks.
“Let’s say as a full time employee?” My dad.
“Your HR and I can talk. I might have to resign anyway from the law firm because my plate is quite full with the kids and the work that I have to do with the alternative energy company. If you are cool with me still running a company on the side, we can definitely talk.” Tamia. 
I’m not sure how I feel about this. 
My dad nods his head. 

The red carpet is completely annoying. I want to slap every camera in front of me right now. I’m holding my wife’s hand – as every man here is – and it’s probably the only thing keeping us sane. I hate this shit. We make it into the venue. We are offered champagne. I look at the glass. 
“Could we possibly get whiskey for the gentlemen, please?” My wife asks. She knows that I was never going to drink champagne. 
A tray of whiskey is brought out then offered to Senzi, my dad and myself. Now all these men are approaching our area wanting whiskey. Bebathuleleni sonke lesikhathi?

We are led to our table. Tamia’s parents are here. They came with Tamia’s brothers and their wives. We all greet them before we all sit down. We are all sitting at the same table. Tamia’s relationship with her sisters-in-law is very on and off. To me, it’s funny. But when shit pops off in front of you, you want to run away a bit. 

The ceremony starts. I see that even the king himself is here. He even has a speech that he’s delivering. His queen is here too, doing her speech after the king. So the companies here are located in more than five African countries. The president who sits on the board of the organisation hosting tonight’s awards ceremony is now delivering a keynote… talking about the importance of these awards. Tamia is so nervous, she’s actually shaking. I hold her hand. Everyone at our table notices. 
“I’ve been nominated three times in the past, but I’ve never won. I really want to win this year.” She tells me.
I kiss her hand. 

There is now a live performance by some really big international jazz artist while starters are being served. 
After we’ve enjoyed the starters – and shame they were so nice. I don’t even know what we were eating, but it was nice – the main course is brought immediately. Tamia returns her dish and Wandi’s dish. She explains that she’s allergic to fish and Wandi is pregnant. So they are asked if they’d like a chicken or beef alternative. They both say chicken. I would have also returned my dish because I’d take beef or chicken over fish any day, kodwa this fish looks very interesting. 
The two chicken plates finally arrive. And their plates look good too. Both Senzi and I offer to help them with the chicken dishes. The people at the table actually laugh. Ja no, this food is good. 

Finally, the programme resumes. 
Some judge is brought to the stage to present the first few awards. Then Ona, the king, is called up to present the next batch of awards. We just see nje with Tamia’s change in aura that these are the ones that she’s actually waiting for. A few people are called for awards. I see her becoming more and more down. 
Her name is finally called. I’m the first to stand up and applaud her. The whole table stands and applauds her too. I don’t even know what this award is for, but I just heard Nonkanyiso Tamia Maphumulo and I stood up and clapped. 
She comes back. Before she can even hug and kiss me, she is called up to collect another award. By the time that she’s called up to collect her third award, the entire venue is standing up and applauding her. I’m so proud man. 
Lapho sesithi siqedile khona, she’s called up for a fourth award. Hai, now she’s an over-achiever and I’m tired. But we clap. Lol! 

After we’ve had dessert, taken pictures, and been introduced to half of the legal world while we are actually the enemy of their progress across the world, we head back home. 

–

We walk into our house – just me and her – and find our kids watching a movie with their nanny. Tamia speaks to her first before letting her go. The nanny explains that the kids are bathed and fed. They have twenty more minutes of TV time, then it’s bed time. But Sihle sees Tamia and she’s done with TV. She just wants Tamia’s hands. 
Tamia negotiates with her to let her go shower, then she will give her attention. She agrees, but is not happy with it. 

Tamia and I shower together. Now that we are done and we are in pyjamas, she says… 
“I want to cash my cheques tomorrow”.
“Cheques?”
“Yeah. Each award comes with a cash reward of two million.” She says.
“Two million points for something?” 
“Rands.” 
“What for? You already have a gold thing you hold with your hand, a certificate and recognition.” 
She laughs. 
“Ey inemali le-industry yenu.” I tell her. 
“I want to cash the money then head to a private bank and open trusts for the kids. Each account will be open with one million for each of them… then I’ll put the other four million in our safe.” 
She’s dropped some hectic bombs on me. She sees me.
“They are also my kids, right?” She says.
“Yeah… kodwa…” I’m actually getting emotional.
“I want them to be okay even after we are no longer on this earth to ensure it.” She says.
“Ngiyakuthanda nkosikazi wami. Kakhulu futhi.” I tell her.
“We will need one more person to sign for the trust. It will be you and me – the parents… then we need one more person who we regard as a guardian. If we both die before they turn twenty-one, they’ll need an adult to sign for their trust. Do you have someone in mind?” 
“Senzi. Definitely. Him and Khabane.” 
I trust those two very much. 
“Okay. Can you get them to come with us and sign with us?”
“Sure. I’ll phone them.”
“Then I’ll have debit orders go off from my account every month to those trusts. Ten thousand rands for each account every month should do it.” 
“If those little people grow up to be useless and blow that money on nonsense, ngizobapokela. Nasi!” And I’m being very serious shame, though she’s in stitches! Lol! 
“Also, you know we have a safe in the house, right?” She says. 
How would I know that? She’s never showed it to me.
I shake my head. 
“Woza”, she says to me. I follow her to our walk-in cupboard. 
She opens one mirror door. There’s another door behind it. She unlocks it with a code. She even tells me the code. 
When did she set this all up?
That door leads to a metal door. It’s a big door. 
“This is our safe. My dad told me what you guys do for a living. I know all about the church and it’s dangers. I know that one day, we could be required to run just nje out of nowhere. So, we run through here.”
I’m actually in shock. 
She unlocks the safe, showing me the code to open. 
I’m still stuck and confused. 
As the door opens, I see two HUGE travel bags. She pulls the bags out. The first bag she opens has clothes. Brand new clothes. It’s clothes for me, her and the kids. This bag is packed to capacity. The second bag only has money. A shit load of money. 
“There’s already ten million rands in here. I’ll add the four million tomorrow. We lock the money in this bag.” She says. 
Yaz, I’m shocked. 
“Uyithathepi le mali?” I ask her. 
“Some is my payout from work. Most are my savings. The other bit is money I take from my salaries every month and put away for this. I keep this locked with a padlock. Isikhiya sakhona is in here”, she says, pulling out her handbag. There’s a handbag in here. The handbag has passports, a purse for me and her, more money and more keys. Each key has a tag. She explains by saying, “these keys are houses that we have overseas. Should we go on the run, these are hiding places that we have. All documents concerning those houses are also in this bag.” 
Yaz ngithukile. 
“Tamia… sthandwa sami, how are you this strategic?” I ask her. 
“I’m a lawyer. And you shouldn’t want to marry me or have me be your wife if I’m not a woman with a plan.” She says. 
I’m so turned on. 
We close the bags, lock them, put keys in this handbag of hers, then put them back in place. 
Then she says, “Woza”. 
I follow her into the safe. 
Deep in the safe, there’s a flight of stairs. We go down those stairs. We come into a longer passage. We walk through it. At the end of the passage, there is a door. She opens it. It’s a door leading to our very back gate. No one ever thinks about this gate. Like ever! 
“Then siphuma la. And we are out of the house.” She says. 
I actually grab her, kiss her, and make love to her right here. 
Wow! 
What or who did I marry?!