Today, I’m meeting up with Oluremi at a stunning restaurant owned by Maboko – yes, my hubby is simply a business genius. The restaurant is called Rooftop. It’s literally on a roof, but it’s such a vibe. It has four floors and each floor is outdoors with a sunroof covering it to protect you from the sun. When you look at the building driving along the road, it looks like a staircase leading to the roof. This place is beautiful and it’s weird that we never come here as a family to just eat. Maybe our kids are too young for the vibe that’s here. But Maboko and I need to have date nights and just come to be young at this place. 

It’s always full here and to make reservations, you have to book three months in advance. I had to pull the wife card to get a table for two. It’s insane, I tell you. 

I got us a very nice table at the top floor – the roof vele. I love it. 

I had to meet up with Oluremi today because I feel bad about what’s happened. I feel responsible because I hooked her up with Khotso and now she’s dodging bullets and running from one city to another with a baby in hand. I knew that this family has always been dramatic and there’s just always a lot going on around them. Then I also found out that they are top tsostis internationally and I still threw my friend into the deep end. I just need us to talk and let her know that if she wants to leave him, it’s okay. 

Remi is the only real friend I’ve ever had outside of Maboko. I’ve never been a friend person. But with Remi, man I got a friend in her. 

I see her walk towards our table looking ever so beautiful. She is a beautiful woman – on the inside and on the outside. 

I stand up and hug her as she finds our table.

“This place is nice! Your man definitely has a diverse business portfolio. I even got escorted to our table by a butler. Hai!” She says this as we hug and we both laugh. 

We sit at our table and use the tablets before us to place an order of what we want to eat and drink. We only see a waiter here when they bring our food. But we order on the tablet and make payment for the food right on this tablet. 

“This place is so dope! I absolutely love it here”, she says.

“Thanks babe. I’ll make sure that Maboko gets the feedback.” I say. 

“Feedback? Girl, get him to let me have my next book launch here.” 

We just laugh and I say, “I’ll actually ask him. I’ll give him sex when I ask him, so he will definitely say yes.”

She high-fives me and we laugh. 

“So, babe, how are things with Khotso?” I ask her just after our food is served. 

“Things are good. He’s a great guy and I really have strong feelings for him. I could even jump into saying that I love him”, she says. 

It’s worse than I thought.

“Really?” I ask her. 

“What’s wrong, T? You are the one who introduced me to him.”

“I know, O. It’s just that… I feel so bad about what happened with your parents and you having to be on the run with Mohale.” 

“Look, he does have his weird things. Like he still refuses to tell me what it is that was happening on that day. He definitely expects me to have blind trust in him that he will always make things right. He is a different cup of tea, but I’m learning to appreciate him because as amazing as he is, he is still human and he has his flaws – just like me. If he’s prepared to live with my flaws, I don’t see why I can’t live with his.” 

“As long as you are happy, O. They are great guys – him and his brother. They are complicated human beings with multiple layers to them. But right at the core of who they are, they have big hearts that are generally filled with good intentions. And they will never admit this, but they genuinely love LOVE. They are lowkey in love with being in love. So, I know that you are in good hands because as flawed as Khotso is, if there is one thing he knows how to do, it is to love.” 

“I’ve definitely seen that about him. And I appreciate him more than he knows.” 

“I heard that he’s rebuilding your parents’ house.” 

“He is. Sometimes his money makes me uncomfortable. I’m not used to people having so much money and being generous with it when you have nothing of that equal standing to match it. If he’s parents’ house burned down tomorrow, I wouldn’t be able to rebuild it. It just makes me wonder what I bring to the table.” 

“You bring a smart young woman who has forced Khotso to grow up into being the man that we all know him to be. Khotso was a mess before he met you. He was changing girls every week. He didn’t have a woman who could put him together faster than he tore himself into pieces. You bring stability in his life. You bring structure to his days. You bring peace to his breathing. You bring love to all that surrounds him. That is far much more than what money can buy.” 

She smiles at me. I mean this from the bottom of my soul. 

“Look at us all grown up and committed to such nice men. Remember us being single women in LA and Miami while raising little B”.

I laugh as she says this. Little B is Bane. We called him that. 

“Girl, don’t mention those days!” I say. 

“Girl, we were out here living our best lives and dating basketball and American football players.” She says.

We laugh aloud. 

After we laugh and chat about, she says, “I’m glad you came back to him. No basketball player came close to him for you. No football player came close to him. It’s always been him.” 

“Yeah, I hear you. I’m glad I could come back. I never thought that I would be able to come back. Imagine if Bane wasn’t his?” 

“T, you were raped. I still think you should have told him the truth about why you left.” 

“He wouldn’t be able to handle it, Remi. And I dealt with it. I went to therapy and I dealt with it. And Bane came out being a spitting image of Maboko, so it made me feel a whole lot better that he isn’t a product of rape.” 

“Still… 

“Remi, how am I supposed to tell him that Kabelo raped me and Linda and Zakes were there when it happened? They never spoke about it, so why was I supposed to be the one who would broadcast it? You think every time Linda asked me why I was back she was really asking about whether I was back for Maboko or not? Linda actually cared about what Maboko thought of her and what she really wanted to know was if I’d tell Maboko what happened and what her role was in all of it.” 

She holds my hand as I get emotional. 

“Maboko will not survive this, Remi. He won’t. And it’s not even worth it anymore because they are both dead. Zakes just never hangs around us anymore. I don’t know if it’s because I’m back or if it’s because things changed while I was away. But I’ve let this go. He’s the only one that’s still alive and all he did was just be there and let it happen and not say anything to Maboko. He was not the one who injected me with that stuff that kept me awake but my body paralyzed – Linda did that. He is not the one who raped me while I was awake but unable to fight back or even speak, all I did was cry because that’s all I could while Kabelo did what he wanted to do with my body. Then when I left that place and went home to tell Maboko everything that they had done to me, he was in bed with Linda in our home.” 

This actually makes me cry. I hate that I’m going back there and I have to speak about this. 

“I’m sorry, babe. I’m sorry to take you back there.” She says.

“He didn’t protect me, Remi. He slept with her the same day after she had orchestrated all of that to happen to me. He rewarded her by sleeping with her. I carried my child for nine months not loving him because I thought he was Kabelo’s. Imagine how much my body cringes every time I think that I was already carrying my son when they did that to me.” 

Remi is also crying now too. 

“I’ve dealt with it, Remi. I can’t take Maboko there. He won’t survive it. My kids still need him. I cannot do that to him. I need his soul saved so he could be there for our kids. We have a daughter now. He can’t raise her carrying all of this. Linda and Kabelo are burning in hell and Zakes has his own challenges that are making him pay for this. So, Remi… to the grave”. 

She nods her head and says, “I promise. We are taking this to the grave.” 

We hold hands. 

We gather ourselves and order a glass of wine each. We are silent as we wait for the drinks to arrive. They finally arrive and we down the glasses of wine. We needed it after that conversation. 

“And I’m here for you, Remi. Even with Khotso. I’m here.” I say.

“Is there anything that I should know, T?” 

“They don’t operate within the boundaries of the law.” 

“I’ve had my suspicions. He’s too connected and I’ve connected those dots myself. But how deep is it?” 

“Look Remi, I want to tell you all that I know. I do. But I also think Khotso deserves an opportunity to explain himself to you instead of you hearing it from someone else. If he doesn’t open up within the next year, I promise you, I’ll tell you everything. But for the sake of your relationship with him, I have to give him a chance”, I say. 

She nods her head and says, “I love you, T. Thank you for introducing me to him.” 

We smile at each other. 

We order dessert and two more glasses of wine. Then as we wait, we see Khotso and Maboko walk towards our table. 

Olu and I look at each other and start chuckling.

“We missed you guys. So, we thought we’d come and gate crash your date.” Khotso says. 

Then these two men make us stand up. They sit on our chairs and we have to sit on top of them. But it’s cute.

“We live with you guys. You couldn’t survive a few hours without us?” I say. 

“You live with Maboko. I sneak in and out of the house like I’m committing a crime because Lulu’s parents are there.” Khotso. 

“You are just mad because we have to have quiet sex.” Olu.

Maboko and I are in stitches. 

“Maboko, do you still sleep with your wife when your parents are in the house? Or her parents?” Khotso.

“We are married.” Maboko. 

“Exactly!” Olu says.

“Then marry me, Oluremi.” Khotso says. 

Olu and I are quite shocked. Maboko looks like he knew this was going to happen. 

“What?” Olu. 

Khotso takes a box out of his pocket. He puts the box in front of Olu. He opens the box. Olu looks like she’s going to faint from the shock. 

“I’ve been carrying this with me for a week, waiting for the perfect time to give it to you and tell you that I’ve spoken to my family, and upon your yes, a letter will be delivered to your parents informing them that I’ll be paying lobola for you. I want you to have my last name. I want to make love to you and only for the rest of my life. And I want to stop sneaking around just to have sex with you.” 

We all laugh at this. 

Khotso moves Olu off him then he goes down on one knee. The restaurant goes dark and is suddenly quiet. 

This was all planned?! 

Maboko and I are holding hands. His one arm is wrapped around my waist.

This is so beautiful.

“Oluremi Warona Mokoena… will you do me the honour of being my wife?” Khotso. 

“Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you!” Olu says between her tears. 

Ona and Dise come out of nowhere with balloons and popping champagne bottles. When was this even planned? 

An international artist starts performing a love song for them. 

Olu is so overwhelmed. This is priceless. 

I then spot Malcolm and his girlfriend here as well. Everyone was in on this except for me.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me”, I say to Maboko. 

“I didn’t know neither. I just got involved today when Khotso found out that you guys are having lunch together here. Then I was asked if the restaurant could be used for all of this.” He explains. 

“I’m her best friend. Why wouldn’t anyone include me in this?” I’m actually offended. I’m happy for Oluremi, but it’s weird that Regodise wouldn’t see it fit to include me on the proposal of MY best friend. 

“It’s not that serious, baby. Please relax.” Maboko says. 

I’m not impressed shame. 

“May I have this dance, fiancé?” Olu asks Khotso. 

“Nooooo! I have two left feet.” Khotso.

We all laugh. 

“They are my left feet now. Come”, Olu. 

…

I’m at Maboko’s and Teboho’s house today because I wanted to spend some time with Mason. I’m here so often, I feel like I live here. I’m actually grateful that Teboho doesn’t mind. She even gave me a key to the house, so I could come and go as I please in the house. I genuinely appreciate her. 

Mason and Bane are playing outside. I’m with Ruri while I mark some test scripts while watching the boys play. Ruri is such a sweet baby girl. I can see her mother’s personality developing in her. She has a bit of Maboko from time to time, but Teboho is the dominant parent in her personality. Maboko is the dominant parent in her looks. She is the spitting image of us – Maboko, Bane, Mason and me. My mom’s genes are clearly very strong. Gwen was the only person who looked like Ntate Seete.  

I’m actually happy for Mason. He is so much happier in South Africa and he loves being with his siblings – Bane and Ruri. Mohale also spends time with them and they are all so close. I wish that we moved back sooner. 

“Hello gorgeous”, Teboho comes to where I’m sitting and greets me. 

“Hey babe”, me. 

“I hope these rascals are not bothering you neh“, she says.

I just laugh and say, “I love being bothered by them, don’t worry.” 

We laugh. 

She takes Ruri from me and sits next to me.

“How are things?” She asks me. 

“I miss Mason, hle. But I’m so happy that he’s so happy. Thank you, Teboho. He is so happy.” 

She smiles at me. 

“So, we are planning on going on holiday together as a family. We wanted to invite you and Shaka to come with us.” She says.

Wow! 

“Shaka as in Shaka Maphumulo?” I ask because I know they are still warming up to the idea of Shaka and I. 

“Shaka as in Uncle Shaka!” She says and we burst into laughter. 

“Thank you so much. Thank you for inviting him. He will be so excited.” I say.

She smiles then she says, “how are things with his kids?” 

I take a deep breath then say, “I haven’t seen them ever since they found me half-naked in the kitchen of their home. But he says that they are still upset, especially Mpumi. She’s a bit of a mean girl that one, but in this case, I understand why her mean girl energy is so tense. Shaka insists that they will get over it, but I don’t think that’s the right attitude for him to have. I really don’t like how he’s managing this entire situation with his kids. Those kids are hurting. They need him to be a bit more sensitive towards how they are feeling. I just feel that he’s too harsh on them. I’m just caught up because I’m not sure it’s my place to say anything.” 

“Whose place is it then, Fifi? You are his partner. You are the best person to tell Shaka that he’s going to destroy his kids if he carries on like this.” 

“Shaka is very stubborn. He is so set in his ways. He is just so – 

“Put a pole in his bedroom, swing on it a few times in lingerie, tie him up nicely on a chair, dance on his lap – making sure that he can only use his eyes to respond to what you are doing to him, not his hands. After that, he will be too weak to fight with you. Put your point forward as well as your argument. Tell him that you are not giving him sex until he agrees. In that state, he will give you the moon if you asked for it.” 

I’M IN STITCHES! 

Now I know how my brother has been made to agree to everything. 

She smiles at me then she says, “Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Sure. What’s up?” 

“I could be a bit too sensitive, I don’t know. But please tell me the truth and don’t buy my face about this because it really is bugging me and it is important that I understand whether I’m unreasonably sensitive or if my feelings are warranted.” She says. 

This sounds a bit serious. 

“Okay…” 

“Khotso proposed to Oluremi, right…” 

“Yeah, I heard about that. It sounds like it was a beautiful proposal.” 

“It was. It was beautifully planned and absolutely breath-taking. I’m extremely happy for my friend and I’m happy this is happening for her and that she’s clearly marrying into a family that loves her.”

“But?” I ask because there does seem to be a but coming here. 

“I don’t understand why I was not included in the planning. She is my best friend. How could they plan something this big for her and not see the need to include me in it? If Oluremi and I were not having lunch on that day, I wouldn’t have even been there for it. I would have just heard about it telephonically. If it were just her and Khotso alone with no one included, I’d understand that Khotso wanted it to be their thing. But everyone was included and no one told me. Not even Regodise.” 

She really seems hurt by this. 

“Babe, you do know that things will be like this moving forward, right? Regodise and Oluremi ke de ngwetsi of the same family. There are things that they will be doing without you because those things will be family stuff.” 

She is still not consoled. 

“I think you just feel sad that you are losing your best friend – not just to her future husband, but to Regodise as well and you feel left out and a bit entitled to her because you introduced her to everyone. It’s natural to feel these things. But if you start shit with Regodise because of this, you are going to make things difficult for Oluremi when she gets into that royal house. Some feelings – no matter how much they press you – you need to keep them to yourself and find a way to deal with them. This particular one is a bit bigger than you.” 

She nods her head. Then she says, “You are right. Maybe it was just an oversight and I’m just being a bit too sensitive about it.” 

She doesn’t look happy. She really doesn’t. I really hope that there isn’t a bigger problem brewing here.   

…

I’m actually in lingerie and getting ready to follow Teboho’s advice. We are at a hotel today because Shaka is working and we had to fly to another province just like that. He’s in the shower and I asked the hotel to organise this pole for our bedroom. 

As he steps into the bedroom from the bathroom, he is shocked and turned on to see me looking like this. I smile at him. He is completely naked. I cannot believe that I’m about to turn myself into a stripper for kids that don’t even like me. But I’m woman enough to understand that their feelings are not even about me and that’s what I need to sort out tonight. 

I use some rope I bought to tie him up to a chair. 

“Fifi –

“Sssshhhhh… I’m about to put on a show for you”.

He’s already weak! 

I start dancing on the pole. I’m so bad at it, but he’s not even laughing. He’s getting harder and harder. Then I start stripping off my lingerie as I dance on top of him, brushing his penis along my vagina. He looks like he wants to cry. 

“I want to give you all of this”, I say. 

“Then give it to me, baby.” 

“I will. I just need to talk to you about something important.” 

“While I’m in this state?” 

“It’s the only way that I can get you to listen to me”. 

He just looks at me. 

“You need to stop being so hard on Ntuthuko, Nompumelelo and Luhle.” I start. 

“Refiloe –

“No Shaka, listen to me. Please. Being stubborn is not the way to go about this situation. They’ve lost their mother. Right now, their connection to you is mourning her and they’ll never like me or accept me if I’m the face that will be associated with taking you away from them and not allowing you to mourn her with them. They are hurting, baby. They need you to be their father and not their enemy. I know that you are hurting too. The four of you need each other.” I say. 

He is getting vulnerable. He is about to fall apart. 

“They have to deal with the fact that she’s gone. That is their new reality, and they have to accept it”, he says. 

“I know. And they know it too. But they don’t need your lashing out to remind them of that. Baby, I know you can do better at helping them get through this. You love them. Right now – more than ever – they need to be secure in that. I cannot be part of separating you guys, especially at a time like this.” 

“But it’s been almost a year now since Kenosi passed away. Their mother is not coming back”, he says.

“She was your wife too. You keep emphasising that she was their mother. She belonged to you too. Maybe dissociating her from you makes you feel less pain, but you need to own her again so you can feel the pain and truly move on.” 

“Fifi –

“Say it, Shaka. Tell me that your wife has been gone for almost a year now and she’s not coming back. Make that statement for both of us to hear and accept.” 

He starts crying, then he says, “It has been a year since my wife passed away.”  

“Yeah. And there’s still forever to go.” I say. 

He lands his head on my chest and I let him cry. I untie the rope that’s tying him down. Then he carries me to the bed and he thrusts and thrusts and THRUSTS AND THRUSTS. He explodes and I receive his entire vulnerability in my arms as he collapses onto me after that ROUGH performance that he just did on me. I took it. All of it. The abuse the sex came with as well as the submission of his humanity. I took it all and I can only hope that he heard me tonight.

I wake up in the morning feeling a bit sore. I get out of bed, leaving Shaka still fast asleep. I heard him cry last night. I pretended to be asleep because I wanted him to just release it all. He sat in the corner of this hotel room and he wept. 

I notice some bruises on my thighs. I walk into the bathroom and look at myself through the mirror. I notice that my neck and my breasts are bruised. 

Eish.

“I’ll do it”, he says. He’s still in the bedroom, not in here with me. 

I grab a gown and cover my body with it. 

I get back into the bedroom and look at him sitting on the edge of the bed completely naked. 

“What did you say?” I ask him. 

“I’ll do it. I’ll take Ntuthuko, Nompumelelo and Luhle away for a few days on a retreat and I’ll give us time and space to heal and mourn and talk about everything. Thank you for… for talking to me about this.” 

I nod my head. Now I can’t ask him to go on holiday with us, but this retreat is definitely more important than my little holiday. 

He walks up to me and hugs me. I can see that he wants sex. But I don’t want him to feel bad about what he has done to my body. 

“Babe –

I try to stop him as he undresses me from the rope.

“What’s wrong, Fifi? Let me see you.” 

My gown is off and my body is the sight before him. He looks at me and feels like shit. I can just see it. 

“Fifi –

“Baby, it’s okay. Please. I’m going to be okay. That’s why I need you to be okay.”

“I’ll be fine. Just promise me that you’ll never allow me to do this to you ever again. Promise me, Fifi. Please.”

I just nod my head. 

“Come here”, he pulls me into him and we just hug.