This year, I made a resolution to be a better and a more involved mother to my kids. Molemo is still living with us, so he is one of my kids until next steps. So today, I’m taking him quad-biking for our mommy-and-me date. He’s really excited. Molise is keeping the other two entertained. Their turns are coming. They understand though… my sweet kids. 

Molemo and I ride our quad bikes throughout this place that we are at. I struggled a bit to climb on it, but he was a natural. He even helped me get the hang of it then we rode off. 

Now we get to the end of some road. We are served cold non-alcoholic beverages… water with lemon for me, juice for him. He wanted coke, but I said no. We restrict fizzy drinks intake in our house, even when we are out. 

“How’s school, my boy? Do you have girls running after you, screaming ‘oooohhhhh Molemo! You are sooooooo hot!’” 

He’s in stitches because I’m also saying this with a high pitched voice. I’m not sure if I’m the one that’s funny or if he’s just feeling embarrassed. I laugh with him. 

“So, how is it going?” 

“It’s fine. I have friends, so that’s nice.”

“And do you have a girlfriend?” 

He laughs. 

“Weehhhhh! Molemo!” 

He laughs then says, “I have a girl that I like. But I don’t want us to date until I know for sure that you and dad won’t send me away.” 

Hai bo! 

“Send you away?” I enquire. 

“I know dad doesn’t want me. I’ve heard you guys fighting about me. And I’ve heard dad telling granny that he’s not going to raise me.” 

“Molemo, you shouldn’t be listening to adults’ conversations.” I say. 

“I know. Mama, please don’t send me away”. 

I look at him. 

“It’s a difficult situation, papa. Your mom didn’t handle things the way that she was supposed to and she’s left everyone in a very difficult position”, I say. 

“You can’t send me back to her. She leaves me with scary people. Some people have returned me saying they are not my dad. I was really hopeful with you guys. I like our family. I like my siblings. And you are the best mom in the world. Even if papa is not my dad, please adopt me then. My mom doesn’t want me.”

This child has said a mouthful. 

“Look papa, I love you very much. And I’ll do my best. Your mom has just made your dad very upset. But we will work on him, okay?”

He nods his head unconvinced. 

“I have a surprise for you”, I say, trying to lighten him up a bit. 

He looks at me. He’s curious.

I pull out a boxed and brand new iPhone 15. 

Now he’s super excited. He jumps up and down saying thank you.

“Wait! We have rules!” I yell, putting it in there with the screaming. 

“Okay? Anything… I’ll follow all rules!” He says, still excited. 

“Dad and I bought this phone for you because we definitely think that you are a big boy now and we need to be able to get hold of you when you are not next to us. So these are our rules…”

“Okay?” He’s so excited.

“We have to be able to reach you at all times! So no ‘low battery’ excuses.”

“Okay”, he agrees. 

“I have to have your passwords and I’m allowed to check your phone at any time I want to”.

“Hmmmmmmm…. Okay”, hesitant, but he agrees. 

“And no inappropriate content”, I say. 

“Like porn?”

“You know about porn?”

“I’m almost thirteen. Of course, I know porn.” 

“Do you watch porn?” 

“I mean… my friends have shown me videos.”

Dear Lord! Help me!

“And how did you feel when you watched it?”

He starts laughing. But he’s a bit embarrassed. 

“Did your body feel different?” I ask. 

“A little bit”, he says. 

“Do you want to have this conversation with dad? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“I don’t know”, he says, shrugging his shoulders. 

“I’ll talk to dad to talk to you because if you are watching porn and your body is growing while you watch porn, then dad needs to talk to you about sex. You are not having sex, are you?” 

He instantly shakes his head with conviction. 

“Good. And I want you to promise me that you’ll hold that off… until you are old enough to understand what sex is and what responsibility it comes with”, I say. 

He nods his head.

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” He says. 

I hand him his phone and he’s really excited about having his cellphone. 

We ride back on our quad bikes, then get into our car – using dad’s C63 today – then head home. We get dinner on the way, so I don’t have to cook tonight. 

We get home just on time for dinner, and vele, no one has prepared food. So after I’ve greeted everyone, I go into the kitchen and dish up the food that Molemo and I bought along the way. The granny is chilling and watching her soapies. It’s almost time for her friends to come and fetch her so they do their afternoon walk together. They have a granny walking club and they walk every afternoon without fail. When it rains, they wear rain coats, rain boots and take umbrellas, then they hit the road. They’ve tried to recruit me in their walking club. I decline everyday! I do not meet the age restriction! 

“How was today?” Molise asks me as sits on a chair in the kitchen, watching me dish up.

“It was a good day. He’s a good kid yena yaz. I think if you really gave it a chance, the two of you could have a great relationship”, I say. 

For the first time EVER, those words move him. I tell him all the time, but today… he’s moved. 

“And you need to speak to him… about the birds and the bees. He told me that his friends have shown him porn”, I say.

He actually laughs.

“Don’t laugh, Molise. You need to talk to him. I asked him if his body felt different when he watched the videos”.

This guy is in stitches!!!!

What’s so funny?! 

“You asked him if he got a boner while watching porn? What kind of date was this?! You tortured the poor boy”, he says still in stitches.

Mxm! 

“My point is that you need to tell him about sex. I made him promise me that he wouldn’t have sex until he understands what it is and what responsibilities it comes with.”

“Now that’s unfair. Most men still don’t get it. I only got it after we had Lelapa… actually, after you guys moved up here. Before that, it was just sex to me.”

“You need to tell him that. And you need to tell him how that made me feel… how I actually considered divorce because of that… how he grew up without a dad because of that.” 

He’s quiet.

Even the laughter has now stopped. 

“I spoke to Katleho – his father.” He says.

Yep… turns out that Molise’s younger brother thought it was cute to sleep with his brother’s girlfriend. And because he was too young to do anything, Molise’s mother decided that the kid should be passed as the older brother’s child – in this case, Molise. The mother has no shame and is not sorry shame. At all. Molise kicked her out of the house! The drama! The older brother and his wife had to take her in while Molise calmed down. But they sent her packing so quickly because vele uyahlupha lo mama lo. I think I’m just used to her because I lived with her for so long. I’ve learned to tolerate her shit and love her through it. She’s back now, but Molise is still not talking to his mother. She begs me to keep Molemo. But ke, let me hear what Molemo’s biological father has said. 

“Utheni?” I enquire. 

“He said I’m lying. He said Molemo is not his.” 

I stare at him. 

“Ke tlwayelwa masepa mo”, he says.

“Yaz love… oksalayo ingane ikhona. Oksalayo, ingane idinga uthando. Oksalayo, this child has been through enough. Both his parents don’t want him and we have enough love to raise him… we’ve been financially blessed enough to raise him. Can we please just put this whole thing to rest and rule him off as ours”, me.

“These people…” 

“Love… kwatela abantu, not ingane. Le ngane ayinacala. Inabazali nje abasile! Deal with the adults in this situation. Leave the kid alone.” 

He comes around the kitchen island and hugs me. 

“I still want my third child”, he says.

I actually laugh aloud. 

I hear him laughing too.

We kiss. 

…

Today, the girls and I are meeting up to take measurements for Mapho’s wedding. I’m so glad her wedding is happening before schools reopen. What level of focus would we have if we were back at school and preparing for this wedding? 

I feel the shower door opening. My husband is clearly joining me in the shower. He hugs me from behind. I lean my head against his chest. He kisses the top of my head. 

“Hello husband”, I say. 

“How are you doing, my beautiful wife?” 

“I’m fine. Just looking forward to seeing the girls today. Mapho is so nervous about the wedding”, I say. 

“Why?”

“What girl doesn’t want a perfect wedding? She wants everything to be perfect.” 

“It’s going to be great. She mustn’t stress so much.” 

“We are meeting with Ruri for fittings today. When are you doing your fittings?” I ask him. 

“The gents and I are going this afternoon. And you guys tasked us with taking the kids?”

I laugh then say, “yep. Intentionally so.” 

He laughs too. 

I turn around and face him. 

“You need to talk to Molemo”, I say. 

“Yeah I know. And I will. But I need mom out of this house.” 

My eyes widen!

Uthini lo muntu?! Men generally adore their mothers. They’d rather get a divorce than throw their mothers out. 

“Ayephi baby? She’s old and unwell.” 

“She will stay at a nursing home. It’s a private facility with doctors, nurses, the works. Her age mates are there. It will be like living here, but just out of our space. And that is important. I cannot live with her after what she’s done to me. I’ll take Molemo. I’ll teach myself to love him. But mama goes.” 

“Who is going to tell her?” I ask. 

“I’ll tell her.”

“She’s going to hate me. She’s going to think this is my idea. You know that right?”

He shrugs his shoulders then says, “she knows what she did. She has no one to blame but herself.” 

I quickly get dressed because I want to be out of here by the time Molise kicks his mother out. I want absolutely no part in it. None. 

But this guy wants morning sex… so I find myself giving it to him instead. And I have no regrets. He serves his wife extremely well. 

–

The kids are enjoying the breakfast I’ve prepared. So is Molise’s mother. I’m chatting to the helpers, giving them instructions. Molise is starting a conversation with his mother and I just want to sprint out of here. I need to take the kids to school then be about my day. None of us should be here to witness him kick his mother out of the house. It’s just not okay. 

“Mme, I found you a place to stay”, he says. 

All the kids look at him. 

His mother is already crying. 

I stay in the kitchen. 

The helpers focus on the conversation so they can discuss after this. 

“I think it will be good for you to be close to doctors, nurses and people your age. It’s a nice facility where they have activities all day for you to take part in.”

She just cries. 

“Mme, you leave today.”

Yoh! 

The crying!!!

He should’ve done this after the kids and I had left. Now the kids are crying with their granny and I’m also feeling a big emotional.

“This is why I’ve never loved you! You are heartless just like your father! I thought that getting married to that sweet girl would change you! And you were fine when you needed me to live with her after you impregnated her, married her then didn’t know what to do with her. Now that you no longer need me to keep her company while you slut around all over Tholoana Kingdom, this is how you treat me?!”

Ey, umagogo kodwa naye! 

“Your lift will come pick you up in the next two hours. The helpers will help you pack!”

Now she wails. 

I’m supposed to be gone by now. But I’m witnessing my husband throwing his mother out of our house. She’s crying. My kids are hanging onto me and begging me to make daddy stop. I don’t know why Molise is treating his mother like this. I really don’t. And I don’t know what to do. The domestic workers are too scared to say anything. 

“WHAT’S GOING ON IN HERE?!” Some old man yells. 

Number one – who are you?! 

Number two – why are you in my house?!

“GRANDPA!!!!” All three of these kids say as they spring to this man.

I’m so confused. 

Number one – umlungu lo muntu. 

Number two – Molise is just as lost.

After grandpa has hugged the kids, he looks at the situation then says, “my love, what’s going on?” 

My love umah kaMolise njalo? 

Suk’emabhozeni! 

“He’s kicking me out!” Mme says out of breath.

“For what?!” The white man.

“Excuse me, sir… who are you?” I politely ask. Phela this could be my babazala. Asazi. 

“Who are you?! And why are you treating your mother like this?! She lets you stay in her house instead of putting you out, and now you put her out of her own house?! What’s wrong with you?!”

I’m so lost! 

Uthini lo mkhulu?!

“This… is MY HOUSE! And that woman is MY WIFE! You want to come here with nonsense and tell us that shit that’s coming out of your mouth?!” Molise has lost it! 

“But grandpa is always here”, Lelapa. 

Zero sense of reading the situation.

“That’s not your grandpa. You don’t have a grandpa.” Molise barks.

“But he comes all the time. Then he and granny take a nap in mommy’s and daddy’s room”, Lelapa. 

Sies! 

Sies! 

Sies! 

This woman has sex in my bed?! 

I also see Molise’s face change in disgust.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” He concludes to his mother.

“It’s okay, my love, you will come and live with me. Let’s go”, the grandpa.

“Can we –

“Hai wena!” I stop Lelapa right there. I know exactly what he was going to ask. 

My kids are too emotional to even go to school. I’ll let them stay at home today. 

I also ended up not going to fit my outfit. I told the girls that my babies and husband need me at home today. Molise has been locked in his study since his mother left. I heard him crying. I told the kids that he needs some space and that they should give him some space. They are now all passed out on the couch. Lelapa is sitting on top of me, his front facing me and his legs splitting at my waist. His head rests on my chest as he is passed out. Phupho’s head rests on my thigh as her legs are stretched out on the rest of the couch. Molemo is sitting on a different couch, sleeping on it. I decide to watch Umkhokha. Mam’Zobe and Gabisile have a way of just making me laugh no matter how I feel inside. When Molise is ready, he will come to us.