I’m meeting with my wedding planner today because he’s the one who will be making sure that everything is as it should be. He is very organised and is even making me feel a bit nervous about this whole white wedding thing. I am nervous because it feels as if the date is too close and everything will not be ready on time. My wedding planner is afraid of Ona, so around Ona, he keeps it together and makes it seem as if we have nothing to worry about. Then when it’s just me, she freaks out on me. So, I don’t really know how to be, but I’m hoping that her fear of Ona will drive her to deliver the wedding that I want.  

Tebza, my maid of honour, and Olu – who I’m trying to build a relationship with because I’m actually voting for this relationship with Khotso – we are all going wedding gown shopping. I trust Tebza and I trust her judgement calls when it comes to friends. She told us that Olu is a good person and I trust her. I am a secret fan of Olu. Her writing is a work of art and I have followed her career since she started writing. Most of the audiobooks I listen to are her books. I never thought that one day, I’d be sitting this close to her and she’d be helping me choose a wedding dress. She’s also a very beautiful girl. Khotso has been coming back home late since he started going on dates with her. He seems to really like her, but Khotso likes everyone. It’s not that I don’t like Olu for Khotso, I’m scared for Olu when it comes to Khotso because Olu seems stable and ready to be what we all want for Khotso. But Khotso needs a cleansing because his level of promiscuity is cursed, I tell you. But you know what, let’s have faith. Maybe now that Fikile has taught him that he’s not the hottest thing since sliced bread and that if he doesn’t know how to take care of what he wants he will lose it, he will do better with Olu. 

We are using my car to drive to the bridal store. We are going to pick out my dress today and us three ladies are very excited. Tebza has Ruri with her – which I don’t mind. So, she’s sitting at the back with Ruri. Olu is in the front seat and I’m driving. 

“You must be really excited about this wedding, hey?” Olu asks me. 

“Very! I’ve been asking for it for three years!” 

We all laugh as I say this. 

“I’m so excited for you. It’s going to be so exciting. We’ve even bought our plane tickets and booked our accommodation. Traveling with a baby is a lot of work, honestly.” Tebza says. 

“Who will look after Ruri during the wedding? I know both you and Maboko are in the wedding party.” I ask. I just need to be sure. 

“Aus’Lebo will be coming with us – she and Ntate Seete. She will have Ruri”, she says. 

“Perfect!” I say. 

“Olu, how are you finding Khotso?” Tebza asks. 

Olu blushes and giggles. 

This would mean something if she was the first person who had been with Khotso. Khotso has this effect on women and they still don’t last. But anyway, let’s act cute with her. 

“He’s really nice. He’s funny. He’s charming and he’s very considerate.” She says. 

“So, you guys are still getting to know each other?” Tebza asks. 

“Yeah. He told me about his ex. Fikile.” 

Now that’s different.

“She really is someone who got the most out of his heart, from what he told me.” 

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask. 

“I’m thankful that he’s playing open cards with me. But I did tell him that I want my own role in his life. He told me that since Fikile left him, he has been looking for her in every woman he met after that. I told him that if he will do that with me, it won’t work. I’m Oluremi Mokoena. Nothing about me is Fikile. So, he needs to give me my own place in his heart and in his life and if he cannot do that, we shouldn’t even waste each other’s time.” 

“Yho, you guys have clearly had some tense conversations.” I say. This is very different. Maybe this one is different even for Khotso. 

“Yeah. He’s nice. Thanks so much for the hook-up, T.” She says to Teboho. 

“He’s a great guy, Olu. He really is. He has made some mistakes and has made some very questionable decisions when it came to women. But he loves hard and he loves beautifully. The fact that he is already opening up to you about Fikile tells me that he wants real and hard love with you. Please don’t break his heart. I’ll never forgive you if you do”, I find myself saying to her. 

“In the past few days that we’ve been spending together, I know what I have in him. I know how to take care of special things and people that are in my life. He’s in good hands.” She tells me and you know what, I believe her. 

“Tholoana men are very fertile. So, I suggest that you go to a family planning clinic before you start having sex. All it takes with these men is one night”, Tebza says. 

“But I’ve already had two nights”, she says. 

“WHAAAAT?!” Tebza and I say together. Then all three of us burst into laughter. 

“When?” Tebza enquires. You only met him for the first time five days ago. 

“You think he told me about Fikile and all his other exes over a movie? Girl, please!” Olu says and laughs. I like this girl. 

“Don’t feel bad, girl. I smashed Ona on our first date and got pregnant.” I say and we laugh. 

“I smashed Maboko at the age of thirteen and got pregnant.” Tebza says. 

“THIRTEEN?!” Olu and I say together. 

“He was charming as hell even in our teenage years. I was young, cute and in love.” Tebza says. The way we are all laughing as if there’s nothing wrong with what Tebza is saying. 

“The point is that you could already be pregnant.” Tebza says after laughing. 

“No, I doubt it.” Olu says. 

We all just laugh. I give it three months before we start hearing about a baby on board. 

We get to the bridal shop and find my wedding planner already waiting for us. Tebza sets up Ruri’s stroller and puts her bags in the stroller as she carries Ruri in her arms. 

“T, can I push the stroller for you?” Olu offers. 

“Thanks so much, Olu.” 

The three of us walk into the shop. The shop closes for us, so it’s an exclusive view for just the three of us. 

We have a lot of fun trying on dresses. We are even served lunch and drinks. 

We find the perfect dress after a good three hours of searching. Our cellphones have been turned off so the men wouldn’t bother us. 

Now, we leave the place and only Tebza is sober because she is still nursing. She drives us back and we all head back to her house. I guess she was too nervous to take us back to the royal house drunk. We get to her house and all the guys are here. 

They find us to be sooooo funny. I don’t remember what else happens because I just black out. But I know my maid of honour is the one. She will make sure that my dress is sorted. 

I don’t know how I made it to a bedroom in Tebza’s house, but I’m waking up in one with a hangover from hell. Champagne hangovers are the work of the devil, I tell you. I hear chatter happening downstairs and I slowly but surely make my way to the kitchen where I find everyone awake and chatting while Tebza’s chef prepares a well needed breakfast. 

Olu is lying on the couch with her head resting on Khotso’s lap and a wet cloth over her forehead. Tebza is sitting on top of Maboko, laughing at Olu and saying, “That’s what you get for drinking while I’m nursing.” 

Ona notices me mid-laughter and says, “There’s my drunk bride to be”. 

My head is too heavy to laugh with everyone. Aus’Lebo is outside guarding the kids as they play on trampolines and jungle gyms. Mohale is having so much fun and poor Ruri is safely tucked in Aus’Lebo’s arms watching everyone have fun. 

We chat a bit until breakfast is served and honestly, I have my eye on the steak and everything greasy. The adults join us at the breakfast table and the kids are at the kiddies table being served breakfast as well. Ruri is on her mother’s lap because she cannot sit at the kiddies table as yet. She still needs the back support from an adult when she sits. Plus, she is still being fed as she cannot feed herself yet. She reminds me of when my son still needed me for everything. Now, he becomes more and more independent by day and I have to find new ways to still be needed in his life. 

“Mama!” Whoever taught Mohale to scream ‘mama’ like that must die a slow and painful death. Everyone laughs at how painful Mohale’s scream is for me. 

“Mama!” He repeats. 

Then these monsters bang on the table screaming “Mama! Mama! Mama!” 

They are encouraged by the laughter at the table. 

“Please! Stop! I’m begging!” 

The house is filled with laughter. Olu and I just want to die. 

“For you, ladies. It will help with the headaches caused by the events of yesterday.” The chef offers Olu and I. 

This is so embarrassing. 

We down this drink he gives us then we start eating.

“Did you at least find a wedding dress in all the drinking that happened yesterday?” Ona asks. 

“We did.” I say.

“And I’ve definitely tucked it away nicely. It’s ready for the day.” Tebza says. 

“I just can’t afford to gain weight. It’s a perfect fit.” I say. 

“Just come train with us every morning. That trainer of ours will maintain you very well.” Aus’Lebo offers. 

“You know, you guys said that dude is gay. But he looks very straight to me. And I see him look at your asses with every move you make”, Maboko says. He actually seems serious. 

“Gay, straight. Who cares? He trains a lot of women in Tholoana Kingdom and he sees enough ass to not be as focused on it as the average guy. He’s just doing his job. Even if he’s getting ideas, he will never act on them.” Tebza. 

“I’m going to come here with Dise and I’ll observe the sessions with a gun.” Ona. 

“I also need to come. I just want to keep fit.” Olu. 

“Baby, I can help you workout.” Khotso says. 

In front of all these adults here! 

Olu just laughs. 

“We will all meet here and see this trainer then. If he even looks at you guys weird, he will explain as we break his fingers.” Khotso says.

“That’s not necessary. He’s not going to smash all four of us”, Aus’Lebo. 

This woman uses words like “smash”?

We all actually laugh at this. 

Refiloe walks into the dining area mid-laughter and we notice because all the boys run to her and hug her. She’s climbing down the stairs, so she was probably sleeping. 

The chef sets up for her at the table. She greets all of us then dishes up for herself. Khotso has taken Ruri from Tebza and now has Ruri on his lap. Olu is the one feeding Ruri while Ruri is sitting on top of Khotso. I must say, there’s a side that Khotso is letting us in on when he is around Olu. I like this. 

“You good?” Tebza asks Refiloe. 

“Yeah, ke shup.” Refiloe replies.

“Uhm, Fifi… I’m not one for awkward situations and I don’t do well when elephants stare at me in the room. So, I thought that maybe we would – 

Ona pauses as Uncle Shaka makes his way to the table as well and his place at the table is already set up. I look at Tebza and Maboko and they both seem unfazed by Uncle Shaka being here. 

“Sho“, Uncle Shaka greets Maboko and Maboko actually stands up to shake his hand and greet him. 

Bane and Mason run up to Uncle Shaka and greet him, calling him “Shak”. 

Us Mohales are really taken aback by this. No one – absolutely no one – prepared us for this. 

Shaka instructs the kids to go back to the table and they listen. My little Mohale is still looking at “Shak” because he hasn’t really patted his head as he did with Bane and Mason. “Shak” picks him up and tickles him, making my son laugh so hard while Ona and I are just so shocked. “Shak” then takes my little Mohale back to the table, seats him in his seat then tells him to finish his food. Mohale’s smile is from one ear to the next.  

“Shak” now makes it back to the adult table and I only notice now how Fifi has been smiling at him and how he is with the boys. 

“Ona, what were you saying about elephants in the room?” Uncle Shaka begins. 

“No baby, it’s okay.” Refiloe says as she touches Uncle Shaka’s hand. Then she faces us and she says, “I know this is uncomfortable for all of you and with good reason, but Shaka and I are together. I have spoken to Teboho and Maboko and they have given us their blessing and have allowed for Shaka to sleep over. So, I don’t see the need for me to explain myself to anybody else because Shaka and I being together is none of your business and doesn’t affect your lives in any way. Furthermore, I’m older than all of you. Maybe I’ve been hanging out with you so much that you’ve forgot that I’m a good seven years older than the eldest young adult at this table. I take offense to the fact that I must sit at a table and discuss my sex life with you. So Ona, we are not addressing any elephants in the room. This particular one has got absolutely nothing to do with you therefore your feelings towards this relationship have got nothing to do with me. You can keep them to yourself. That goes for all of you.” 

I just became sober same time. Suddenly, the food doesn’t taste so good anymore. No one is looking at anyone. We just eat in silence and listen to the kids talk about the most random things. Mohale just talks and mumbles above everyone else at the table. Ruri is falling asleep on Khotso’s chest as Olu cleans her mouth from eating the purity they were feeding her. Tebza is just eating her meal and Maboko just stares at Refiloe and Shaka, as if analysing them very carefully. 

“Shaka, you are most welcome here”, Aus’Lebo says as she breaks the silence. Tebza’s dad and Maboko’s dad are extremely uncomfortable. You can just see it on their faces. 

“Thank you”, Shaka says then continues to eat his meal.

Ona and Khotso look so hurt. They look betrayed. I wish I could suggest that we all get up and leave the table, but we have to go and collect the bridesmaids dresses today. There is no time for dramatic exists. We are also meeting up with the choreographer for our wedding step. Yho, I really don’t know what to do. 

Shaka and Refiloe finish eating then they leave the table saying, “Mason, we need to pack your things and go home today, my boy.”

“But mom, I want to stay longer.” Mason. 

“Mason, please let’s not fight about this. We need to get going. Come on.” Refiloe. 

Maboko is touched about this. 

“Mommy, can I go with Mason?” Bane asks Tebza. 

“No.” Tebza says very coldly. 

Bane looks hurt. 

Mason looks like he wants to cry, but he gets on with it. 

Yho!

…

We’ve just collected the bridesmaids dresses and are now at the royal house to meet up with the guys and the choreographer. My wedding planner is also here because he organised for the choreographer to be with us. 

Everyone is still a bit shook from this morning. 

“Guys, do we all need a bit of a debrief?” I ask. 

“I’m still trying to understand what happened”, Olu. Shame, she just got here and she’s already knee-deep in the drama. 

Queen Kea is here and by the look on her face, I can just see that her twins brought her up to speed with how our morning with the new couple went. 

“I don’t have a choice. I have to support my sister.” Maboko says. 

“We don’t agree with what’s going on, but we love Refiloe and Mason more than we hate the situation with Refiloe and Shaka. Pushing her away because of it is just not worth it.” Tebza. 

“And I really hate to admit this, but they look good together. They fit like a glove”, Ona says and we are all shocked. Then Khotso says, “Honestly, I’m just glad that Uncle Shaka is finding a way to move on. I really thought his heart was going to stop beating.” 

Morena walks in and laughs at something he sees on his phone. He sees us sitting with Queen Kea and he looks at us. The amount of times this man has walked in on gossip sessions – 

“Are we still talking about Shaka and Refiloe? This conversation is beginning to annoy me now. He’s moved on. Nosi is not coming back from the dead. Refiloe is not a nyatsi. Can we all move on now?” Morena says. 

Queen Kea is just still. 

“We are choosing to move on and support them, morena”, Ona says.

“It’s not that they need your support, I’m just the one who’s tired of hearing about this. We honestly need to stop giving ourselves authority to have an opinion over people’s lives. Ours is to accept and move on. If people had to start judging each of us for the questionable decisions that we have made to get to where we are today, would we still have our moral grounds to stand on just because someone is choosing to move on? We all have our own ways to move on and deal with grief. Shaka has chosen his own way. The rest of us just need to get on with it already. Whoever still has issues with this can go to Nosi’s grave and lay it all there. But I for one don’t ever want to hear about this ever again. It’s not even half the scandal you are making it out to be. Yerrr!” 

Morena just leaves the room after saying that.

…

“When is Legoa’s paternity leave ending?” Morena asks us. 

“Another month, morena”, Khotso says.

“We can’t wait that long. We need to move into Mozambique.” Morena says. 

“Then we will need to negotiate with him and see what he says.” I say. 

“I also need him back in Tholoana Kingdom. It took us forever to get Qaphela to leave South Africa and come up here. This distance shit is not going to work for us.” Morena says.

“Well, the wife is the one who made the call and even bought the house in South Africa.” Uncle Shaka says. 

“Thankfully, Legoa is not a man who needs his wife’s approval for shit. Talk to him and get him back to Tholoana Kingdom. We need him this side.” Morena says. 

“I’ll take a trip to Lakefield and talk to him. I’ll take Khotso with me”, I say. 

“Perfect. Take Regodise as well. She knows how to get Legoa’s wife to reason. We will need that in case that wife is planning on being stubborn about their return to the kingdom.” Morena says. My wife is not part of the church and I’m getting tired of morena insisting that she plays a role in the church’s activities.

“Look gents, we need to lie low on the loud stuff for a while. We’ve been on the run for a minute now. I think let’s be normal a bit with our families before we hit the road again. So, I’m putting focus and heat on the online guerrillas.” Morena says. 

The online guerrillas are the people who hack into company systems and steal millions of money from them. If you are one of those people who clicks anything that comes in the form of an email to your company laptop or cellphone, you could click on a link that will give the guerrillas access to your company systems through your laptop. By the time you wake up and realise that you have clicked a link that doesn’t really work, your company’s finances are being wiped clean.  

“We can lay low for about three weeks then get back to it. Hopefully Legoa will be back as well.” He says. 

Everyone relaxes now that the meeting is over. My mom arrives. She never comes to our warehouses. I didn’t even know that she knew where our warehouses are. Morena shares too much information during his pillow talk. 

The other guys leave – standard procedure. We just respect the queen like that. 

“I just got back from Nosi’s grave as Mohato requested”, my mom really came here to start shit? Even Shaka is looking at her weird and if none of us were here, he would tell she’s taking this Refiloe thing too far. 

“I just needed to remind myself how insignificant I am in the greater scheme of things. Kenosi died because of this church. Qaphela killed her because you decided to shoot his daughter because the daughter went against the church. All her sacrifices have come down to what? Nothing! Just being replaced with a younger thing. Must be nice.”

“What do you want from me, Kea?” Uncle Shaka aggressively asks. 

“I want you to mourn Nosi instead of moving on five months after she has passed away. I WANT HER TO MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU! I WANT HER LIFE TO MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU! I want to see you struggling to eat, rolling on the floor and gushing through your tears because you miss her. Shaka, I want you to acknowledge her and not just move on as if she was nothing! As if she meant nothing. She was your wife! She was the mother of your kids! How dare you just replace her!” 

“Replace her?! Replace her?! She was my wife! I could never forget her even if I wanted to. Refiloe is not replacing her. She never could! Just because I’m not mourning her the way that you’d prefer me to, it doesn’t mean I’ve forgot all about my wife!” 

Then we see Uncle Shaka releasing tears. 

He tries to speak, but his heavy heart holds his words back. 

“She died in front of me, Kea. Everything around me reminds me of her. The very air that I breathe smells like her.”

“Then why don’t you act like it?” My mom asks. 

“Because I’m the fucken bishop! Because I don’t have the luxury of not eating or rolling on the floor and doing whatever shit you expect me to do to show you that I’m mourning her. I need to live again – FOR THIS COUNTRY! I need to find some sort of strength that does not make me a vulnerable little bitch because I need to go into the underworld and do the work that nobody wants to do SO THE LEGAL WORLD OF THIS KINGDOM MAKES FINANCIAL SENSE! Refiloe helps me do that. She’s not replacing my wife. She’s my next chance to move on and be what this country needs me to be so the rest of the people who live in this fucken country can have the luxury to mourn their loved ones the way that you need me to mourn my wife.” 

“Shaka –

“And Fifi understands that. She’s understanding me. She’s giving me what I need physically and emotionally. She’s not selfish about all of this. She knows where I am and she’s there for me in ways that none of you – who are judging me – can be there for me when you go home to your families to hug and kiss them goodnight. Just because it looks uncomfortable to you, it doesn’t mean it’s not healing me! And I’m getting shit tired of having to explain this! I don’t even have to. You are not entitled to my healing process.” 

We are all in pain. We really are. But my mom has crossed a line and I’m glad it’s Uncle Shaka who is reminding her what it is that leading this Kingdom has brought out of the people who do the unthinkable for this Kingdom. 

Now, my mother throws her arms around Uncle Shaka and hugs him. He cannot help but breakdown and cry in his arms. This makes all of us cry, including morena. Uncle Shaka’s cry pierces all of us. It’s loud. It’s aggressive. It’s painful. It seems to be cleansing his soul. He needs it. He cries like this for a good thirty-five minutes. 

…

I get home and find Dise and Mohale building a puzzle. Dise is committed to building Mohale’s curiosity and analytical thinking and not feeding him TV. I’m forever buying Lego pieces, puzzles and other weird toys that make him build stuff and keep him busy. Tonight, they are building a puzzle together. 

“Hello papa”, Mohale says and runs to me. I pick him up and greet him. 

“How are you, boy?” 

“Good.” 

I put him down and go to where my wife is sitting – on Mohale’s play mat. 

“Hello baby”, she greets me as she stands up and kisses me. 

“How are you, my love?” 

“I’m okay, baby.” 

“We are building puzzles, papa. Come help us”, Mohale tells me. 

I kinda don’t want to, but I take off my shoes and join them on this mat. 

This puzzle is far from being done, so this is going to be a busy night ahead because Mohale refuses to sleep until his puzzles are complete. 

“Are you okay?” Dise asks me. 

“I am now.” 

She smiles at me and says, “Whatever it is, we love you.” 

I hold her hand. 

I’d die if I lost her or my son. These two human beings are my life. Losing Aunt Nosi has made me realize that we are not untouchable. So no matter what happens, it’s important that they conclude each day alive. 

I’m sorry I ever judged Uncle Shaka for choosing to let Refiloe help him move on. I don’t even have a plan A of how I’d move on if Dise ever died on me. 

She kisses me cheek. I smile at her. Mohale gets jealous and kisses my lips. We laugh at him. I love my family.