Aus’Lebo and I are playing tennis just to keep fit this morning while my dad, Ntate Seete and Maboko watch the boys swim. Maboko has Ruri in his arms and he has my child wearing an oversized cap. I don’t understand because Ruri has her own hats. But she also seems to be enjoying this oversized cap. She enjoys anything that she does with her father. You can already tell that she’s going to be a daddy’s girl. Ruri has her father’s smile – the very same smile that had me losing my virginity at the age of thirteen. It is a smile that is both unintentionally charming and beautifully sincere.

I’m trying to lose all my baby fat, so I have different ways to exercise that will help me lose weight. On Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I run in the mornings then do yoga in the afternoons. Tuesdays and Fridays, I do Zumba dance workouts. Aus’Lebo has the DVDs – exposing her age because sometimes I do forget that she is a gogo. Now we have to use Khabane’s PlayStation to put in the DVD, connect it to the TV in the gym then dance-workout following their steps. It really works, watsiba. I can see how and why she is so snatched. Then I rest on Sundays by doing a light workout such as playing tennis with Aus’Lebo. She was a tennis pro in her youth, so she honestly makes me workout when we play… it’s not the play play stuff we do at a holiday resort. I’m even getting used to it now because she’s a very patient teacher. 

Refiloe is MIA. I think she has a man. She has a glow and Mason practically lives here now. We even gave him a bedroom and made him and Bane stop sharing a bedroom. Mason is slightly older than Bane and when Maboko and I discussed it, we did say that he could hit puberty any time now and he needs his space to also have a bit of privacy when he explores his body and grows into it. His mom is here often as well. So, when she’s not here, Maboko and I have concluded that she is probably with a man. 

I don’t know how my mom is doing. Tiisetso and my mom have decided to exclude my dad and I from their lives for now. My dad and I are not even bothered, watsiba. We really aren’t. My dad just joins the Seete men for golf every Saturday afternoon and every Sunday morning. The other day, he went shopping for golf clubs and clothes. He is looking very swag! I hope he finds a nice girlfriend. Maboko, his dad, Bane, Mason and my dad go golfing together. During that time, Aus’Lebo and I spend time together with Ruri. When Refiloe is around, she joins us. But she’s only joined us twice. The rest of the times, she is where she is. 

Mme Pheladi, one of our domestic workers, comes in to tell us that the chef has prepared breakfast and is now setting up the table. 

“Rea leboha, Mme.” I say. 

We go to the men and tell them to get ready for breakfast. I get the boys out of the swimming pool and they are not happy with me. But they must shower and get ready for breakfast. Aus’Lebo and I also head in to shower. I quickly shower and am done very quickly. I find Maboko sitting in our bedroom with Ruri. 

“Ona, Khotso and Dise are coming over for breakfast”, he begins. 

I look at him. 

“Is it okay?” He asks me. 

“I just haven’t spoken to any of them since –

“Yeah, I know. But we must then decide if we are keeping them in our lives or not, so that we can make it clear.” 

He has a point. 

“It’s fine, they can stay in our lives. Their world may take some getting used to, but hey, I’ll live.” I say. 

“We don’t have to know it. Nothing about it entices us. We can be friends, but them killing people doesn’t have to come up as a topic of discussion between us.” 

“What if they kill someone in our presence? Or we witness them do illegal activities?” I ask. 

He looks at me and says, “Let’s hope they’ll continue to respect us by not putting us in that position.”

I nod my head. 

By the time that Maboko and I make it to breakfast, the Mohales are here and they are within conversation with everyone at the table. I make my way to Khotso first and hug him to say hi. Then I hug Ona. Then I get to Dise. 

“Hey friend”, she says to me with a smile. 

“Hi Ruri’s god-mother”, I say. 

She is so excited and screams, “for real?” 

The guys laugh. 

I nod my head and she hugs me saying, “With pleasure.”

Maboko is now greeting the twins and when he gets to Ona, he says, “Ruri’s god-father, sho.” 

“Great men are not born great, they grow great”, Ona says with the god-father accent and we all laugh. Only he would quote something out of the godfather movie for effect. 

“Mohale is so big, now”, I say as I see him at the kiddies table with Bane and Mason. Poor Mason is a big big brother now. 

“He is. He is growing too fast for me”, Dise says. 

“Make another one. You won’t feel it.” My dad says and everyone laughs at this.

“Thank you, Ntate Tlou. I’ve been making this suggestion”, Ona says.

“He still owes me a white wedding. The sooner we have that, the sooner we can make another one.” Dise says. 

“Are you serious?” Ona. 

“Why do you keep thinking that I’m joking when I tell you that I’m serious?” Dise says. 

“Fine. Let’s set a date right now.” Ona says. 

“The last week of September”, Dise says. 

“September is next month”, I just point us in case no one realized this. 

“Perfect. I’ll just show up on the day with Khotso and Maboko by my side. We will make sure we have suits. You do the rest.” Ona says. 

“I will. But I want the wedding to take place at Zanzibar. I want an island white wedding – destination wedding kind of thing.” 

How is this conversation even real? 

“Fine.” Ona. 

“Cool.” Dise. 

We all just look at each other and say nothing. I think we are all wondering what it is that we just witnessed. 

“So Khotso, I’d like to introduce you to someone”, I begin. 

He smiles at me and everyone else at the table is curious. 

“I’m listening”, Khotso says. 

“It’s a friend of mine that I met when Bane and I still lived in the states. She has moved to Tholoana Kingdom and I had met up with her for coffee. She’s a very beautiful woman. She has no kids. And she’s from a family that’s quite okay.” I sell her. 

“So why is she still single?” Khotso asks me. 

“She’s been all about her career for a very long time. She wanted to be a fully established author before she settled down. Now that she has ten books under her belt, four of them have been turned into movies and one of them is currently in the process of being turned into a limited series, she’s ready to settle down and be mme wa lelapa… and she’s a good break from all these Zulu girls you keep dating.” 

Everyone laughs at this, then Dise says, “Author?”

“Yeah. Her name is Oluremi Mokoena.” I say. 

“Get out of town! THEEE OLUREMI?” Dise.

“You know her?” Khotso enquires. 

“Know her? I’m obsessed with her work.” Dise is so excited. 

“So, when do I meet her?” Khotso asks me.

Everyone is very excited about this. 

“Maboko, be honest, is she a snack?” Ona asks. 

“I’m a married man. I no longer have capacity to have those kinds of opinions.” 

The men at the table laugh. 

“But I will say that she is Khotso’s type, just not Zulu.” 

“Her name is very different. Oluremi?” Aus’Lebo. 

“Yeah. It’s a Nigerian name. Her mother is Nigerian, but her father is Sotho… moSotho from the Vaal in South Africa, Gauteng.” I say. 

“Now that’s a beautiful combination”, Khotso. 

“You’ve always loved them exotic”, Ona says.

We all agree with Ona before laughing. 

“So? When do we meet her?” Khotso. 

“The boys have a soccer game tomorrow. How about we all go and watch some soccer? Olu will be there.” I say.

“We are on!” Khotso. 

I smile. 

“So, what kind of flowers do it for her?” Khotso asks me. 

I’m already laughing. 

…

The soccer day is nice and it’s Bane’s family’s turn to host the event. This school will make you an involved parent whether you like it or not. That’s why I strategically recruited the Mohales to help us. They even came with Queen Kea. This is good for her. Since Aunt Nosi passed away, she doesn’t really go out much or do anything outside of morena like she used to. 

The guys are the ones on the fields. They are making sure that there is no cheating on the fields, basically auditing the referees. Ona is looking after one field, Maboko is looking after another field and Khotso looks after the third field. Mara they end up coaching the kids themselves during half time, so I don’t understand who is auditing the game.

Dise and I are handing out half-time and full-time snacks and drinks – which we had to organise ourselves may I add. Olu is with us and Dise seems to like her amidst her reservations about hooking her up with Khotso. We’ve been selling Khotso to her this whole time and trust me, she is sold. She even stares at him for a long time when we walk past his field to leave the half-time and full-time snacks and drinks with the coach to give the players.

Refiloe, Aus’Lebo and Queen Kea are walking around the stadium and making sure that everyone is under a gazebo – again, we had to organise all these gazebos so people are not blasted by the sun as they watch the games – and they are serving them water, drinks and snacks – which we had to organise. Hosting is a very expensive exercise plus the manual labour. I think I prefer the schools where they say “just send the money and we will do the rest.” 

My dad and Maboko’s dad are in charge of scores and ranking the teams that are playing. All score keepers submit scores to them then they update the board. They are the ones sitting with Ruri and Mohale, making sure that they are safe and fed. 

We had to organise trophies and medals, so we have those and we’ve submitted to the principal; he is the one who will be handing them out. The winning team – which I hope is my son’s team – will be winning a team building day at an adventure park. They will have dinner at Reahile after that, then also have sports clothes and merchandise given to them at the dinner as a reward for completing the adventure day. The team that gets second place will win food and drinks vouchers values at R500 at Reahile. Then the third team will win R500 vouchers each at a sports and merchandise shop that is owned by Maboko.

The royal house, Maboko’s parents as well as myself and Maboko contributed to these gifts. We are so thankful. 

“Mohale is definitely coming to this school. I love it”, Dise says. 

“It’s a great school. It can get annoying though because they want us involved in everything”, I say and the three of us laugh. 

“So, what are we doing after this?” Olu asks us. Dise and I ready know that she’s budgeting time to hang out with Khotso. 

But Khotso is now suddenly in front of us before we can respond to Olu’s question.

“Hi”, he says, smiling at Olu. 

“Dumela“, Olu responds, painting one hell of a smile on Khotso’s face. 

Olu is Khotso’s type – but the type he likes on movies but never dates. She looks Indian at first – a light-skinned Indian. Then if you take a closer look at her, she looks mixed race. But when you take your time and look at her – taking in her perfect skin, her enticing eyes and the one dimple she actually has at the bottom left side of her mouth instead of in her cheeks, you’ll see that she’s just a beautiful black woman with ancestors who were blessed with exotic genes. 

“I was wondering if you’d like to drive back with me? I drove down here alone.” Khotso. 

“You chose to”, Dise says. 

Olu laughs and says, “Sure. Only if you promise to take me to a place where I will have real food. The American food is not completely out of my system yet.” Olu says. 

Well, this is going well. 

“I promise.” Khotso says.

He is so smitten! My goodness.

“Can Tebza get her perfect match bonus as well, please”, I say. 

“I’ve got you, friend. Don’t worry”, Olu says and we all just laugh. 

We keep walking and as we approach the last field, we see Refiloe laughing and quite comfortable with Uncle Shaka. I stare for a while. 

“I know. Aunt Nosi’s body is not even fully rotten and he’s already sleeping with her.” Dise says.

“What?!” Me.

“You didn’t know? They are casually seeing each other.” Dise says.

Hai! Hai! Hai! Does Refiloe know who she’s sleeping with? Yho!

I’m waking up next to Shaka this morning, yet again. I won’t lie, I’m really having fun with him. But Tebza gave me a look yesterday and it has me feeling extremely nervous since I left Bane’s and Mason’s school yesterday after their sports day. A part of me feels like I don’t have to explain myself to them. Then there’s another part of me that feels like I do owe them an explanation because my life does affect them – especially if they have to be the ones who look after my child. 

This just feels so nice. When I was in the UK, I never had family around to help me with Mason. I didn’t have the option to just date knowing that someone was looking after my child. Also, the last time I actually dated a man, I was dating Marcus. This is different for me. I know I’m on the border of being selfish, but I just cannot help it. 

“Stop it”, he says. I thought he was asleep. His eyes are even still closed. 

“Stop what?” I ask him. 

“Stop thinking so hard. The day just started”, he says. 

I smile. 

“Let’s go back to sleep, I’m tired. You kept me up all night”, he says and I laugh. 

“I feel like I need to go home and explain myself to Tebza and Maboko”. I tell him. 

“What do you need to explain?” He asks me. 

“What’s going on between us”, I say.

“Do you think they’ll give you a hard time about it?” 

“I don’t know. Maboko is the easier one to read and understand what his next step is. Tebza is more closed off. What you see is not always what you get. You get more from her from talking to her.” 

He nods his head and says, “We are not doing anything wrong, Fifi. So, don’t feel like we are, that’s all I ask.”

“I know. It’s just that there’s that then there’s perception and from the outside, you just lost your wife. You just cleansed yourself from the death. Your year of mourning is not over yet and I’m already sleeping with you.” 

“We are two consenting adults doing whatever the fuck we want. How is that anyone’s problem?” 

“Don’t pump me up with the wrong attitude, Shaka”, I say and we laugh. 

“Listen… we are grown adults. Stop stressing as if you are kid. Now come here, let me give you one more round then I’ll let you go home”, he says as he rolls on top of me. I’m already laughing about. 

We are now in the kitchen enjoying breakfast. I’m dressed in one of his shirts. I’m quite skinny, but I more than inherited my mother’s ass. So, this top looks like an oversized shirt that’s hugging my curves well. 

Shaka keeps rubbing himself against me as we eat the breakfast – we are even standing as we eat because this guys will not let me sit down. 

We hear the door open and someone walks in. A rather grown man. I’m so uncomfortable. Some girl is right behind him. Two girls. 

“Dad?” One of the girls say. 

“Hi guys. I wasn’t expecting you today.” Shaka says. 

Oh my goodness. These are his kids. 

“Who’s this?” The boy asks and he’s referring to me when he says “this”. 

“Can you guys please just give us a moment to get decent then we will come back and speak to you adequately?” Shaka says. He is also walking around topless. 

The kids go upstairs and disappear to somewhere. I sprint to the main bedroom upstairs. Shaka is walking upstairs slowly. This is beginning to feel like a bad idea… this thing between him and I. 

I jump into the shower and literally speed shower. When I come out, he is in his bedroom watching TV. 

I lotion myself and dress up in jeans and a t-shirt. He just threw a top on. Does he not feel dirty? We both smell like sex. 

“Are you ready to go downstairs?” He asks me. 

“How are you so calm?” 

“I’m not doing anything wrong, Fifi.”

“Shaka, your kids are not going to just accept this”.

“The good news is that they don’t have to. Our relationship is not up to them.” 

“Shaka!”

“Fifi, we are adults. We are not going to be bullied by kids. I’ll introduce you to them because this is their home and they need to know who they bump into in these passages. But that’s as far as my obligation goes to them.” 

Bathung!

“Guys, this is Sis’Refiloe. She’s my girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend?” 

“I’m still talking, Nompumelelo.” 

Silence.

“Baby, these are my kids. This is my son, Ntuthuko and these are my daughters, Nompumelelo and Luhle.”

I honestly don’t even know how to be.  

“Baba, isn’t it a bit too soon for you to have another girlfriend already? I mean, sisasebumnyameni“. The youngest daughter says sincerely. 

“No, baby girl. I’m okay to move on.” 

“Are you sure? I’m just worried that you haven’t given yourself time to heal. I’m not mad that you are moving on. I’m just worried and wondering if you have really healed.” His last born is so thoughtful and sincere. She’s already my favourite of the three. The older two are just nasty. 

“Please don’t worry about me, sthandwa sami. I’m your parent. I’m the one who has to worry about you, not the other way around. I’ll be okay. Sis’Refiloe and I will pace ourselves properly.” 

“Wena sisi, awusabi ukulala nendoda eyingakagezi isinyama? Hai, you are very brave.” The other daughter says. 

“Nompumelelo, I’m not going to beg any of you to accept that I’m moving on with my life. You are all old now and you have your own lives now. You come here once a week to check up on me then disappear for the other six days. I’m the one who must live with Kenosi’s absence in this house. So, you are the last person to come in here and disrespect me or the decisions that I’ve made to move on. If you have a problem, you don’t have to come back to this house. I love you and this is your home, but you will not make me walk on eggshells in my own house.” 

This is so tense!

“It just feels like you are disrespecting mama”, the son says. 

“Did Nosi tell you that she’s feeling disrespected? Did she visit you in your dreams perhaps? Did she give you instructions to disrespect me in my own house in loving memory of her?” 

I don’t like the way that Shaka is dealing with this because I actually understand where these kids are coming from. He’s not helping to soothe their confusion and hurt at all. 

“Baba –

“I’m done having this conversation with you. I’m going to shower now.” 

With this, Shaka stands up and leaves us all just looking at each other. 

“Uhm – 

I try, then the nasty daughter says to me, “You don’t speak to us. EVER! In this house, you are just my dad’s sex toy and nothing else. Be sure to remember that, uyezwa.” 

Let me just pack my stuff and leave with immediate effect! 

…

I arrive at Maboko’s and Tebza’s house feeling rather down and slightly embarrassed by how my morning went. The guys who wash their cars are here. It’s three guys and they come weekly to wash all the cars in this yard. I park mine to be washed as well. 

“Hello sisi”, the guys greet me. 

“Sanibonani“, I greet them back. 

I walk into the house and Tebza is in the kitchen warming Ruri’s feeding bottle. 

“Hey”, she greets me because I’m frozen at the door unknowing what to do next. 

“Hi”, me.

“Ushup?” Tebza asks me. 

“Not really.” 

“Uncle Shaka? Or can should we still even call him that seeing that he’s dating in our arena now.” 

“T, I need you. Please don’t be like that.” 

She looks at me and says, “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Let me ask Maboko to feed Ruri. We will go chat by the pool.” 

“I like him, T. But I know that the timing is very wrong. Yho, you should have seen how his kids were looking at me this morning.” 

“You’ve even met the kids? Mos this is serious.” 

“We were having breakfast half-naked and they just walked into the house.” 

She looks at me shocked. Then we both laugh. 

“Your life is a movie”, she says as she laughs. 

“It’s not even serious. I know where he is emotionally. I don’t plan to pressure him into anything”

“But can you control it, Fifi? What if you fall in love and you want him to give you what he can’t?” 

“That’s also my fear. But we promised each other that we would talk if anything else develops from either of us. Right now, we are just two consenting adults enjoying each other’s company.” 

“With no expectations, right? Even if he decides not to choose you once he has healed, you can’t be mad at him. Your contract to each other as it stands is that you are there while he heals.”

I didn’t think about it that way and she sees it. 

“Just give Maboko some space. Ona broke the news to him and he wasn’t nice about how he did it because the Mohales do not approve of you and Shaka. So, give him space. I’ll talk to him tonight.” She says.

“What did the Mohales say?” I ask. 

“Aunt Nosi was the queen’s best friend. She was an aunt to the twins. They lost a significant part of their lives. Whoever was going to be with your man – because I don’t know what to call him anymore – 

“Shaka is fine”, I say. I mean it’s not that serious. 

“Whoever Shaka was going to date was never going to have it easy. You just happen to be in a worse position because you are too soon and too close to all of us.” 

I actually understand what she means. 

“Maboko will come around, don’t worry. When it comes to it, you are his sister and he will support you. Just make sure that Shaka’s penis is worth it.” 

Teboho mara. 

I can’t help but laugh. She laughs too.