Zelda

I am in my red silk and lace short gown with my lingerie robe underneath, making coffee in the kitchen. My parents and sister are headed to Mafikeng this morning and I couldn’t be happier. My husband and I need our space back to fix this awkward place we are in and just cannot seem to leave behind us.

“Please make me a cup”, I hear Keba say behind me. I just know her voice. Her and Dikeledi have the same voice – inherited from our grandmother.

“Sure”, I say and indeed prepare her a cup of the coffee that I was preparing for myself.

“So, I was thinking…”

I don’t say anything nor do I look at her. She must say what she needs to say.

“Maybe I could stay here with Sethati and Oratilwe. We’ve spent a week together and as difficult as it has been, we are at least building.”

“No”. I say before she carries on.

“No?”

“No, you may not stay here. You are going back to Mafikeng with mama and papa today.” I say.

She is shocked by this.

I hand her a cup of black coffee.

“But Koena, you said you would help me.” She says.

“You are not going to live off me, Keba. You are an adult. You need to make a plan regarding the rest of your life.”

“Who’s going to hire me with a criminal record?”

“So, your plan was to live here with your kids and do what exactly?”

“Sethati would attend school with Mfundo –

“Do you know how much Mfundo’s school-fees cost?”

She looks at me and drops her face.

“Mfundo is not even your blood and you do more for him than you are prepared to do for your niece and nephew?”

I slap her!

Mfundo, Sethati and Mthunzi sprint down the stairs and Mthunzi stands between Keba and I.

“Mfundo is my son. You have some nerve coming into Mfundo’s home and saying what you just said to me.” I say.

“Baby, calm down.” Mthunzi tries.

“I don’t remember you giving birth to him, but mama tells me that Mfundo is the eldest grand-child in hers and papa’s life. I remember you being a forward child – so forward that you had a child as a teenager and –

“Kebaabetswe, are you really going to disrespect my family and I in our own house? Are you really going to come in here and redefine what we mean to each other because I refuse to sponsor your life?” I ask her.

“Baby, let’s go upstairs and talk.” Mthunzi.

He must just shoosh and get out of my way.

“What’s going on in here?” My mother asks barging into the kitchen. Oratilwe is behind her.

“Koena hit me.” Keba says.

“What did you do to her?” My mom asks.

“Of course you would take your golden child’s side.” Keba.

“You haven’t exactly left much room to have people take your side”, Oratilwe.

Yeah, she’s been speaking to her mother like this all weekend.

“You know, I am losing all temper-management learnings every minute I am around you, Oratilwe. If you love your father so much, why don’t you just go to him?” Keba.

“What are you going to do? Murder me like you murdered Sethati’s father?” Oratilwe.

What the –

Before I can even finish my thoughts, Keba is on top of Oratilwe and Mfundo, Sethati and Mthunzi are pulling her off the child. Oratilwe is crying and she screams, “I don’t know why my brother wants a relationship with you. You are just a whore who slept with two brothers and made the surviving brother raise your children for you. Now you are leaching off Aunt Koena and Uncle Mthunzi. I hate my step-mother, but she’s more useful to me as a mother than what you are!”

This hurts Keba in the worst possible way. Mthunzi and I look at each other. Keba leaves the kitchen. Oratilwe is still crying and my mother is trying to calm her down.

“Mamane, gogo and Rangwane, can I go to Mafikeng with the grandparents?” Sethati asks Mthunzi and I.

“I am your mother, Sethati. You ask me to go to Mafikeng, not Koena.” Keba is back in the kitchen and has a backpack over her shoulder. She seems to be going somewhere.

“Where are you going, Keba?” Mthunzi asks her.

“Your wife doesn’t want me here, so I am taking my kids and I am leaving.” Keba says.

“I am not going anywhere with you. Mamane, will you please just take me back to my dad?” Oratilwe.

I don’t say anything.

“Sethati –

Sethati gives Keba his cellphone and some money. Then he says, “I will phone you on this number a bit later to check up on you. This money will give you three nights sleep at a road lodge hotel.  It should be enough until you figure out your next move. I hope you come back to Mafikeng and let gogo and mkhulu help you. But I understand that you need to think about it. For now, I am going to go to Mafikeng with gogo and mkhulu. I really have dope brothers – Mfundo and Thingo – and I want a relationship with them. You can imagine how my life has been living with a man who’s not my dad and he never made me forget it.”

He is so sweet. Keba wants to be a cow, but even she is moved. She hugs her son and accepts the cellphone and money. I really hope that she does the right thing. Keba can’t help herself, she always ends up disappointing the people who believe in her the most.

“I hope you at least take Sethati and live with him. That’s all I ask, Koena.” Keba says to me.

“Koena has a husband, Kebaabetswe. She cannot just –

“Mama, I know Koena is your golden child. But Sethati and I also need you. And we need Koena to do her part in supporting this family.” Keba says.

“Sethati will live with me – like he should have when we told you to leave him in Mafikeng and not take him to Patrick.” Mama.

“I want him here in Koena’s house. And I want him to have what Mfundo has. And Koena will give it to him.” Keba.

I chuckle. It’s the audacity and entitlement for me.

She takes one last look at me then finally leaves.

“Mfundo and Sethati, please take Oratilwe home.” Mthunzi instructs them. I am so glad that Mfundo finally has a driver’s license.

…

I have started attending pole dancing fitness with my friends from school and we are having so much fun. I am losing my weight, my stomach is looking flatter and my thighs are less flabby. I still do my running. On days when I don’t run, I skip.

I have been doing well in training as well. I am almost done with it. I have a week left then I’ll be headed into my shop.

I decided to buy some wedding magazines today. Now that I am losing my baby fat, I can start planning my white wedding. I am excited, but I do want things to get better between Mthunzi and me. It is 10pm now and I am done with all my work. I am paging through wedding magazines as I wait up for Mthunzi. I don’t feel too good because he has been coming home late for the past two weeks. I know that things are a bit hectic for him at work, but I need the assurance.

He walks into the house and finds me in the TV room dressed in short sleeping shorts and a sleeping tank top. He stands at the door. We look at each other. He hasn’t moved. He is unsure if we are about to fight or just ignore each other.

My family has finally left for Mafikeng and they took Sethati with them. My mom spoke to Mthunzi and I that she and my dad will live with Sethati. That’s fair. It wouldn’t make sense for him to live with us. But we did buy Sethati a new cellphone because he gave his to his mother. We will also be paying his school fees and giving him a monthly allowance.

It is just Mthunzi, our kids and I in the house now. A tear slips out of my eye. He takes a deep breath. He puts his bag down, empties his pockets, placing his cellphone, keys and wallet on the kitchen counter, then he walks towards me. I stand up from the couch and I find comfort in his arms. I think he is finding comfort in this moment that we are having too.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.” I whisper while still in his arms.

“I love you so much”, he says.

“I know this is an odd question, but you have been coming home late and things have been weird between us, so I have to ask –

“I’m not seeing or sleeping with anyone else. I love you. Only you.”

“You sure?”

“I think I’d be sure if there was someone else that I hold in my arms like this”, he says.

We both chuckle.

I finally pull away. I look up at him. He kisses me. He kisses my forehead. Then we look at each other again.

“I kept your food in the oven. Let me warm it up for you.” I say.

He nods his head. I take off his suit jacket and place it on the jacket holdernicely for him. I take off his shoes and give him slippers so he can get comfortable. He collapses on the couch and I head to the kitchen.

“How’s school, my love?” He asks me as I dish up for him.

“It’s fine. I had fun with this training. I’m excited to go and start up the shop.” I tell him.

“That’s nice. I’m so proud of you, baby”, he says.

I smile at him.

“And how’s the stripping?” He says with a smug look on his face.

“I don’t strip. It’s pole fitness”, I say.

He laughs.

I chuckle then warm up his food. When I am done, I bring him a bowl of warm water to wash his hands then I serve him a plate.

“Wedding magazines? You have a date yet? And are we bringing a pole to our honeymoon?” Him.

This guy can be so silly yaz, unprovoked. I am laughing and so is he because he is such an idiot.

“Yes baby, now that I have lost all the baby fat from birthing your son, I can definitely slay in a white dress and say I do, then do a whole step with you”, I say.

“So we not making another one?”

“Do you want to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight?”

He laughs aloud.

This is nice.

I missed this.

“Can we agree that I will just show up and pay for whatever I need to pay for? But no dragging me to anything and anywhere. I will make sure that I show up and I look good.” Him.

“I need you for cake tasting and your own suit fittings. I also need you for choosing the venue”, me.

He frowns.

“Babe, it’s our day”, I say.

“Love, it’s your day – I’m just going to show up”, he says.

“I’ll strip for you and show off a move we learned today at pole fitness if you agree to go view venues with me”, I say.

He puts his plate aside.

“Okay, I’ll go”. He says.

As promised, I start stripping, taking off my t-shirt. He is getting weak.

“I’ll twerk for you if you agree to do cake tastings with me”, I say. I am still swaying my hips in front of him topless.

He stands up saying, “I’ll do cake tastings.”

I twerk on his penis.

He takes off my sleeping shorts, unzips his suit pants, bends me over the couch, puts his penis inside of me, and…

…

Mthunzi

I have my wife back and it feels amazing. I heard she went to Ermelo and went hood on Sindi. I haven’t heard from Sindi ever since and I am actually glad that she has dealt with it. The Letsoalos have also left and we finally have time for each other – no drama, because yho – Keba brings the house down. I’ll never understand her thought process – especially when it comes to her demanding things from Koena. But maybe now that she’s gone, this gangster shit that she rubbed off onto my wife has hopefully left with her. My wife has been serving me very well in bed and I will admit that the salt was getting to me, even at work.

Palesa is taking us to the CCMA after we dismissed her, but Nomzamo told us that she will deal with it and we have nothing to worry about, so I am not worrying. I am fucking my wife all weekend.

For now, she is at that stripper class she now attends to apparently get abs, so it’s just my boys and I this morning. She is looking sexy these days and I cannot get enough for her.

“Timer, when mah gets back, can we take Thingo to Papachinos? The one is Sunward. It’s really dope.” Mfundo says as he runs down the stairs.

Papachinos? What’s Thingo going to do there? He’s only seven months old and he will probably never remember that we had to go sit through Papachinos for him because Mfundo felt like it.

“Mfundo, what’s he going to do at Papachinos in Sunward? Where the fuck is Sunward?”

He grins at me. He is up to something. And anyway, now that he is here.

“Sowuyabhebha, Mfundo?”

His eyes!

Then he realises that this is me he’s talking to. We are closer than expected considering that we lived apart from the moment that I met Sindiswa.

“Well, baba, I am seventeen years old.” He says that like that’s supposed to mean something. I had him at seventeen.

“And you had me at seventeen”, he says.

I laugh.

Thingo is playing with his foot on my lap as Mfundo and I talk about his sex life on the couch.

“Are you using condoms? Coz, I don’t see Koena accepting being a grandmother right now.”

He laughs aloud and I laugh too.

“She is attending stripping classes. What grandmother does that?” I continue.

Mfundo is on his stomach, laughing. I laugh.

“But seriously man, pregnancy is just a permanent consequence to being irresponsible with sex, it’s not the worst consequence. You could get sick. These women carry all sorts of things that could have our penises tied up. You need to be careful and just protect yourself. You’ve got the rest of your life to have what I share with Koena. But you won’t get it if you rush into shit that is above you. I do think you shouldn’t just hold onto your sperm because you will become a dick when that shit gets to your head. But be safe and have fun ejaculating. The commitment part should come when you understand the responsibility that comes from that.”

He is actually listening to me. Proper listening to me.

“Timer, if I may ask –

“Sure”.

“What’s your connection with mah that’s different from your connection with my mom and Mbali’s mom?”

Wow. I never saw this question coming. I have also never really thought about it.

“With your mom, she was the hottest girl at our school and I wanted her because I am Mthunzi Msomi and I can have whoever the hell I want.”

He chuckles, but I know that he can relate.

“But it was lust, you know, not love. She was fourteen and I was sixteen. We dated and she got pregnant. I respect your mom and I always will because she is a phenomenal and strong woman. Things between us just didn’t work out and that’s okay. We stayed friends not just because we had you, but because we just had respect for each other.”

He nods his head.

“Mbali’s mom was someone I loved. I really did. But the respect wasn’t really there. She wanted things I could give her had she given me time to grow and become my best self, but she never had the patience. So she compromised some very intimate parts of our marriage, compromised my health and compromised herself. When Koena and I connected, it was her irresistible difference that kept me coming back for more. She was always open, genuine and made me care about soulful connections. Koena and I connected mentally, intellectually and spiritually before we connected sexually. I knew she was my forever when she told me that you need to come live with us and it’s about time I was involved in your life moving forward. She actually said, “I don’t care if Mfundo hates me, my focus is that the two of you find each other and stay together.” I love that woman.”

My eyes are even teary.

“Mah is out of this world. Sometimes I forget that she didn’t give birth to me. Even gogo and mkhulu force me to go to Mafikeng during school holidays. The huns there are the ones. You got it right, timer.” He says.

We laugh.

I have definitely always appreciated how loving Koena’s family is to Mfundo. And I definitely have to tell Mfundo this, “And Mfundo, thank you for giving Koena her position in this house, in our lives and in your life. I really appreciate this.”

He nods his head.

“Do you think Sethati can live with us?” He asks me.

“I think it’s best if he is with his grandparents. Something huge happened between Koena and Keba that neither of them are prepared to talk about. I am scared that if Koena getting involved with what’s going on between Keba and her kids, it would do more damage than good.”

“Their relationship is weird. And I can’t believe mama slapped her because she said I am not her blood.” Mfundo says.

That was good! I purposely took my time running to them to stop that slap.

“That was a MOER slap!” he says.

We laugh.  

“Hello?” Koena says as she walks into the house.

We both look at her.

“How was the stripping class?” I ask her.

“Pole fitness, Mthunzi“, that can only be Phumi – the new found gay best friend. Today is going to be interesting. We are definitely going to that Papachinos.

I get up from the couch and kiss my wife.

“Friend, I love you to bits neh, but if Mthunzi over here ever decides to take a swim down my kind of lane, I will teach him how to backstroke.” Phumi says.

Why would he say that? Why?

“My penis is only reserved for my wife’s vagina.” I say.

“Just saying, handsome, just saying.” Phumi.

My arms are wrapped around my wife and we are swaying from side to side.

“We were going to head out to Papachinos for a late breakfast. You joining us, Phumi?” I ask.

“I wish I could, but I have dick waiting for me at home. I’m married too, honey”. He says.

Thank God. I’m not homophobic. Phumi is just too much.

“Maybe we should double date some time”, Phumi says.

No. Please no.

…

Papachinos was nice and Mfundo had a date. Imagine! I made him settle his own bill with that girlfriend of his using his allowance. I already provided transport. I had to answer Koena’s questions about the date as if I planned it with him. But he’s in shit because Koena will ask him about that girl and I am pretty sure that a sex-talk from Koena is very different to a sex-talk from me.

My beautiful wife and I are now cuddled on our bed, chatting and connecting. Thingo and Mfundo have passed out on the edge of our bed. These boys think that we share my wife. She’s my wife. MINE!

“We have beautiful babies. Thank you for such a beautiful family, my love.” She randomly says.

“They are perfect, aren’t they?”

“It’s those genes of yours”, she says.

“Do you think Mfundo resents me for not being present in his life?” I ask her.

She sits up, sits on top of me, facing me. Her thighs are exposed and my hands are already running up and down her thighs. But this is a serious talk.

“Why do you feel that way, babe?” She asks me.

“He loves you, Koena. A lot! He defends you from me. Me? Does he really think that I’d hurt you on purpose? I love you from my soul. But something inside of me makes me believe that he protects you from me because in his psyche, I come with the pain of rejection. He experienced it with me and now maybe he feels as if he needs to protect you from me hurting and rejecting you.” I tell her. I have been carrying this with me for the longest time. I don’t even realise that I am crying. She just holds me, puts my face on her chest hugs me.

“Timer, I don’t resent you.” Mfundo’s voice creeps up on both of us. Koena jumps off my thighs and stands next to the bed. He’s already seen us and he knows we have sex. This is so unnecessary.

“Mah accepted me before she even met me – the exact way a parent should accept a child while they are pregnant. I don’t know anything else from mah except love. She has never given me reasons or excuses of why I shouldn’t be in your life. I understand that Mbali’s mom made you keep me away. But, I cannot get over the fact that you let her and that you married a woman who wanted nothing to do with your son. I get that you were in love, I just cannot get over the fact that I was collateral damage in the love you had for her.” Mfundo is also crying now.

“I’m so sorry, Mfundo. I am so sorry”, I keep saying.

We are hugging now. We are both sobbing.

My phone rings. Koena answers it. I guess she sees that I am in no condition to take a call.

“Hi Thomas”.

…

“Good and you?”

…

“No problem. I’m used to sharing my husband with you, now.”

She giggles.

Mfundo and I are now pulling ourselves together. I didn’t mean to go there with my emotions today. Thingo is still fast asleep. Thomas is still making my wife laugh. Where’s Lydia?

“Mthunzi is in the shower. As soon as he is done, I’ll get him to call you back. And please, no more chocolates. I love them too much to just look at them, but I am busy losing weight from birthing your friend’s son.”

…

She is in stitches again. I need to stop this conversation.

“I’ll let him know. Say hi to Lydia for me, please.”

…

“Alright, goodnight.”

She hangs up.

She looks at me. I look at her.

“Come here”, she says as she walks towards me and I make my way to her. She hugs me.

“Come, Mfundo, come here.” She says.

Mfundo joins the hug.

“Listen to me, both of you, you are the leading men in my life and I know that things haven’t always been great, but we are here now. All we have is each other. I’m so sorry we have had to go through what we have just been through, but guess what won – just guess… LOVE. Love for each other, love for this family. Guess what else won? Our relationship with each other. Let’s maybe start by being thankful for that. We don’t take away nor do we undermine your pain, Mfundo. Mthunzi takes full accountability for his part in all of this. I appreciate you with all of my heart, my boy, and I love you from my soul. You are my son. No one can tell me anything. It would mean the world to me, if the two of you connected again. You’ve found each other. Let’s connect and stay close again.”

We stay in this hug for another few minutes, Mfundo and I wiping tears and pulling snots and sniffs up our noses.

We finally come out of the hug. The three of us hold hands.

“We are going to be okay. Sindi is gone and so is anything attached to her. We are building now and we are doing better. We are a family and we are love. No matter what. Okay?”

Mfundo and I are so blessed to have this woman in our home. We are both smiling at her.

“Baby, you need to call Thomas back. Something about an emergency. My son, you need to tell me about the girl you were on a date with at Papachinos.” She says.

“Mah!” Mfundo.

I am laughing now. I knew this would happen.

“Let me call Tom back”, I say and move away from this conversation.