I am at one of my township local restaurants today. I’ve been checking in on business all day – from the clubs to the restaurants. Sometimes I just decide that I’ll randomly work at one of my establishments and everyone must adjust. It helps to keep people in check. They never know when to expect me and they are all scared of me. Wehweh is good with the administration of my businesses. She does my books, policies and all the stuff I need to submit to be a compliant business within the boundaries of labour law. She’s my unofficial general manager. I pay her with sex. Lol! I know… I’m her bitch. But she’s at home for the next week until the schools officially reopen. I miss her and I cannot wait to see her.

Lindiwe asked me to meet up with her today. So we are meeting here. She says she needs to talk. I just hope it’s not with the intention to start shit. I’m so tired of fighting with this woman. Had I known that it would take Wehweh to calm her the fuck down, I would’ve searched and found Wehweh a lot earlier in my life.

“Bozza, we are going to close for two hours to set up for that book event”, T-Bose tells me. 

He’s my manger for this establishment.

“What book event?” I ask him. We are a eating and drinking vibe in the township. Why would we be having book events? 

“The one u-ma’am put together”, he says. 

Uma’am is Wehweh. 

I decide to phone her because I’m very confused. 

“Hey baby”, she answers her phone. 

“Love, T-Bose is telling me we are hosting a book event?”

“Yes, I told you about it on New Year’s Eve because that’s when all was confirmed.”

“Baby, I was drunk. I don’t remember”, I confess. 

“A book club from school reached out looking for a venue to host their next themed book club meeting. So external decor people are coming to set up. They are recreating Rome to evaluate a book that’s set in Rome”, yaz uWehweh neh! 

“Baby, this sounds very expensive.” I tell her.

“The total costs for everything – including food, decor and drinks – is R15890. I took into consideration what you would’ve made today by closing down the business. It’s a Wednesday afternoon between 1pm and 6pm. That’s a loss of R45 000. I charged them R90500. They’ve already settled that entire bill. I told you this! But I’ll put it on email now to outline what I’m saying. I’ve already paid the decor company that should be arriving any minute now. There’s enough money for profit and for you to tip the waiters who will be working the event.” 

So my spot is that kind of place now? She probably told me all of this while I was drunk on purpose. 

“Okay baby. Thanks for managing for all of this”, I say. 

“Cool.”

“We’ll chat later”. 

She’s already hung up. 

I look at my phone. 

“Bozza, should I –

“Ja, go ahead.” I say. Ngizathini?! 

I see Lindiwe walking in. 

“Sawubona”, she says as she reaches me. 

“Hi”, me. 

“Closing early?” She asks as she notices everyone moving about. 

“We have an event. What did you need to talk about?” I ask her. 

“Can we sit down? Somewhere private? Please?” 

I lead her to my office. 

After we’ve sat down – me in my chair behind the desk and she on a couch in my office – I ask her, “What are we talking about?” 

“Sasi.” She says.

“What about her?” I ask. 

“Banks and I are separating.”

“Sorry to hear that”, I say.

“Yeah. It will probably be all over the media soon. But that’s not why I’m here. When I got with Banks, my career took a back seat. So in as much as I’m getting a settlement out of this, I still need a way to sustain myself and my kids years after he’s gone. So I’m going to get back to work. We both know that my line of work is crazy. I won’t be able to stay with my kids. The other three are going to stay with my mom eMhluzi because Banks’ family wants nothing to do with them. Three kids is already a lot for my parents. I was hoping you’d take Sasi. It’s not permanent, it’s just – 

“Lindiwe, Sasi is my child. I didn’t need this PowerPoint presentation to take my child. This entire meeting could’ve been a call. Just tell me when and where I need to pick her up.” 

She nods her head. 

She stands up. 

She walks towards me. 

“I should’ve never compromised us”, she says in a sad tone. 

“But you did”, I say. I don’t know why I’m giving in. 

“I know. I regret it. We were so good together, Mnqobi.” 

She’s brushing my dick now. 

I try to move her hand away from me. But she sits on top of me. 

“I’m with Wehweh now”, I say, but still getting weak. 

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and our daughter is proof of that”, she distracts me from what I’ve just said. 

Now she’s riding me. 

As to when my pants came off and her panties… the dress she came in is so short. 

But I’m moaning…

I’m participating…

My phone starts ringing. 

I try to reach it, but she tells me to ignore it as she pounds me harder. 

My phone won’t stop ringing. 

“Bozza!” He has now barged into my office. 

I push Lindiwe off me. 

She’s smiling. 

I get dressed quickly. 

“Bozza, you are all over social media… with her… fucking… you were on a live.” T-Bose tells me. 

Lindiwe is already leaving my office. 

I check my phone. 

I have three missed calls from Wehweh. 

“Uma’am saw it, Bozza. She called.” 

“SHIT!” 

I sprint out of my office! 

…

2 weeks later

I haven’t spoken to Wehweh since that day. I returned her call and all she said to me was “why?” No matter how much I tried to explain myself to her, her response and question to everything was “why?” She was so broken. She couldn’t stop crying. That was the last time she spoke to me. 

She’s been back in the kingdom for a week now and she hasn’t spoken to me or taken any of my calls; she just stopped speaking to me. I show up on campus, she walks right past me. I show up at her place, she tells security not to let me in. I don’t know what else to do. 

Ruri has been making me feel like shit. My mom says I deserve this because I’m becoming a whore like my dad. It’s just… fucked up. 

I found out that Lindiwe did what she did on purpose… to trend… to get interviews… and to step back into her career. Banathi went to fetch Sasi. I cannot be around Lindiwe because I will kill her. She used me! Again! I fell for it! Again! 

I’m pissed! 

I’m sad! 

I miss Wehweh! 

I need Wehweh. 

“Daddy, are you okay?” Sasi asks me as we have breakfast at my home. 

My parents and Banathi look at me. Banathi’s kids are just talking amongst themselves. 

“I’m okay, baby girl.” I say. 

“Do you miss Auntie Wehweh?” 

I feel a tear slip from my eye. Tears get stuck in my throat. But I manage to say, “I do. A lot.”

“I miss her too, daddy. But why did you and mommy hurt her?”

Almost everyone here chokes on their food. 

“Did you see the video, baby girl?” Banathi asks her. 

There’s panic on all our faces. 

“No. But mommy told me that she and daddy hurt Auntie Wehweh really badly. She wouldn’t tell me what they did.” 

The relief on our faces is indescribable. 

“I’ve been apologising and trying to fix things with her, but she’s really upset. So I need to give her some time”, I say.

She nods her head then says, “Can I see her? Bab’Banathi will take me to her. Please, daddy?”

I look at Banathi. 

He nods his head. 

“But not today, okay? I need to arrange with her first.” I say.

“Can we also go?” Zozo says. These kids genuinely love Wehweh. 

They beg Banathi. 

“Let’s talk to Wehweh first, okay?” Banathi. 

My mom just keeps shaking her head at me. I’m sure that if these kids were not here, she’d be giving me scrap right now.

Banathi took the kids to school today, so I decide to go to Wehweh’s place. I need to see her. I need to speak to her. And because I’ve reached a desperate state, I’m about to do just about anything to get her attention. 

I park my car on the other street – where the entry gates are not at. Then I cut the electric fence of the entire estate. An alarm goes off. I get into my car and drive around because I know that they’ll be inspecting the area to ensure that no one is trying to break into the estate. I drive around for about an hour. Then, I go and park my car at the shopping centre that’s just next to the estate. 

With the fence down and people attending to fix it, I cut the piece that’s in front of me to make sure that no hectic current is going through it, then I jump the fence. 

Now I’m in the estate. 

I jog to Wehweh’s duplex. 

Her door is wide open. Thank God. 

I hear talking and music. It’s RnB music. And the conversation is not nice. Whoever she’s with… they are sitting in her TV room. 

I hear Ruri.

I hear Mapho. 

I hear Molise’s wife. I think her name is Zaza. 

I stand behind a wall where they don’t see me and I listen to what they are saying.

Wehweh: “To make things worse, that piece of trash that he ejaculated on came to see me.” 

WTF?! 

Why would Lindiwe do that?! Why?! Does she not want Wehweh and I to be together? 

Zaza: “What did she want?” 

Wehweh: “She says she came to apologise. She said that she didn’t mean to cause issues between Mnqobi and I, and that she hopes we fix things because her daughter misses me in their lives.”

Ruri: “I hate that girl. I’ve always hated her! I don’t know what Mnqobi ever saw in that social-climbing slut.” 

Yoh! 

Mapho: “Do you think you can ever forgive Mnqobi?” 

Wehweh: “I don’t know. All I do know is that I don’t want to be with anyone else. I only want to be with him. But I can’t trust him anymore. Every time I pick up my phone to call him, I’m confronted by that video and I just hate him all over again.” 

Ruri: “Mnqobi must just get her arrested for revenge porn. She recorded that shit without his consent. That’s a crime.”

Wehweh: “I’m glad she did. If she didn’t, I would’ve never known. Clearly, they have a lot of unresolved issues and she’s still the ex that got away to him.” 

No! No, that’s not the case. 

Mapho: “Will you still be able to come to my wedding?”

Wehweh: “Will he be there?”

Really?! She doesn’t want me there?! 

Mapho: “His entire family is invited.” 

Wehweh takes a deep breath. 

Zaza: “Friend, don’t put your life on hold because of him. Mapho is your friend. Don’t not support your friend because you don’t want to bump into him.”

I walk back to the door. I now knock on it.

I hear someone approaching the door. It’s Ruri. 

“I never! And I’m sure ke wena that had something to do with the fence triggering the alarm”, THAT’S how she greets me.

Now all the other ladies are here.

Wehweh and I lock eyes. 

“Hi”, me.

“Ufunani?” Wehweh.

I take a deep breath then say, “I need your help.” 

“With?!” Ruri. Khanya needs to give her stronger sex. 

“You know that you help me a lot with my clubs and restaurants. There are things that only you know. I need your help with some paperwork for the establishments.” 

“It’s called a PA!” Ruri. 

“Ru! Come on, friend. Wehweh, just talk to him. There’s no need to be childish about this.” Mapho says. 

She’s honestly my favourite right now. You’d swear Ruri is the pregnant one with hormones raging out of control. 

“We will be at my place”, Ruri says. And by her place, she means Khanya’s place. They also stay in this complex. 

They leave. Ruri pushes me as she exits, using her entire body to shove me out of the way. 

Mapho and Zaza reprimand her.

Wehweh says and does nothing. 

“What can I do for you?” Wehweh asks me now that we are seated across each other in the dining room. You know, she’s cold, but I’ve made progress. At least we are talking. 

“Wehweh, we need to talk about us. Please.”

“There is no us.”

“What do you mean? Siyathandana.”

“BESITHANDANA! Manje, kuphelile.”

“Wehweh!”

“What did you think would happen? Huh?! That I’d welcome you back with open arms? Take you back and tell you that I forgive you?”

I’m quiet. 

“Well, I can’t. You’ve betrayed me! You’ve humiliated me! You’ve belittled me! The whole world has seen your ass and your penis! The whole world has heard you moan! For her! Because of her! With her!” 

I scratch my head then rub my forehead. 

“Angisakufuni ke mina!” She says.

“Ngicela ungixolele, Nomawethu. Ngiyakuncenga MaRadebe.” 

“Cha! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you.”

We look at each other.

I can see the pain in her eyes.

She’s shattered.

“Please take everything that belongs to you in this house and just get out of my life.” She says.

This cuts me so deep! 

“I’m not going to do that! You can burn my things for all I care.” I say.

“Don’t think I won’t”, she says then heads upstairs.

I don’t know what to do. I legitimately do not know what to do. 

So I decide to go to her TV room and turn the TV on.

At 6pm, she comes down the stairs. She’s extremely shocked to see me still here.

“And then?” She asks me.

“I’m not going to allow you to leave me.”

“Allow me?!” She says that like I’ve just sworn at her.

“That came out wrong. What I mean is that ngiyaxolisa. Truly.” 

She takes a deep breath. 

She comes to sit next to me. 

She holds my hand. 

“I know you are sorry. But I’m not ready to forgive you. I don’t know how to forgive you. You’ve triggered a trauma inside of me that I’m still healing from.” 

I look at her.

“My mom cheated on my father. She says it’s because he worked too much and that she was lonely. I still think she was selfish. She didn’t think about me or our family. My father was broken when he found out. Then she married her person and she still had the entitlement of expecting us to just get on with it… accept her new family and keep it pushing. I’ve been watching my father pick up the pieces of what used to be his heart every day, struggling so badly to move on. Then I dated uNkululeko. We broke up a week before he went to pay lobola for a pregnant mistake that he cheated on me with. Now I’m here. Uyang’phinda futhi.”

I don’t know what to say.

“It’s not that I don’t want to forgive you. I’m just so hurt. I love you so much – probably in a way that I’ve never loved anyone else before. I truly believe that you are my person. But you’ve hurt me to the core.” 

That statement alone breaks me.

“I don’t know how to forgive you. I’m going to need you to give me space. Don’t force this. Because I don’t want to be here months from now holding this against you; fighting you every time you need to see Lindiwe for Sasi’s sake. The two of you still need to co-exist for Sasi. I just cannot think about that happening without being mad at you. So you need to let me breathe. It’s important.” 

“As long as you know that I didn’t mean for –

“Mnqobi, please. I just need space.” She says.