Risuna only went to sleep after 4am. Now he’s up again and it is only 6am. Keith is asleep. You know what, maybe if I take him for a walk he will calm down or something.

I get up, wear some gym clothes, sneakers and a cap. I dress him up in some tracksuit too. It’s a bit rainy outside, so I don’t want him to get cold. 

I have to wake Keith up to put his stroller together. He’s the only one who can do that. 

“Where are you guys going?” He asks me as he puts the stroller together. I’m feeding Risuna my boob. 

“Just a walk. I just want to calm him down and put him to sleep.” I say.

“I can walk with you guys if that’s okay”, he says.

“You not going back to sleep?” 

“Nah, I’ll walk with you guys. Let me just get changed.” 

We now walk outside. It’s a few kilometres to the gate. Then as we get out, we are now on the road, still within our estate.

Risuna is fighting sleep in his stroller, I don’t know why. But he’s definitely a lot more calm. 

Keith is holding the umbrella that he and I are walking under. 

“How are you feeling today?” I ask him.

“I’m okay. Just a bit tired. Little man kept us up all night. My mom thinks we should do a ritual for him. We don’t know what energy is stuck on him since the incident.” He says.

“That’s not a bad idea. I think that would be great, actually.” 

“I’ll ask her to do something possibly for tomorrow. Then maybe…”

“Yeah?” 

“Maybe I can send a letter to your family. I’d like to pay lobola for you before we head to Tholoana Kingdom permanently.” He says.

I look at him.

He looks at me.

“I love you, Basetsana. I really do. I hate this tension that is happening between us. We love each other. That’s not in dispute here. And I’m so sorry for everything. I want you to go to Tholoana Kingdom as my wife. Please marry me, Risuna’s mother?”

I actually chuckle. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. 

I just hug him. 

He lifts me up and kisses me.

“I love you.” I tell him.

He holds me much tighter.

Oh, and our kid finally passed out. 

–

It’s 2pm now. We are all waking up. We passed out after the walk. We needed the nap. We really did. 

I quickly shower while Keith entertains Risuna. When I’m done, I head back to the bedroom where Keith and Risuna are. 

“Mom says we should arrive today. The ritual will happen first thing in the morning. You’ll have to sleep over at my house too… with him. And the letter was sent to your family. Your mom should phone you soon.” 

I smile at him.

“Uhm, listen… I saw something on TikTok. How about you try to take a shower with him? Apparently, it’s calms the kids down. Look”, I say, showing him the video I’m talking about on TikTok. 

He looks at it then laughs. 

“So, are you going to watch us do this?” He asks me. 

I already know where his mind is taking him.

“Well, what are you still hiding from me?” I say, going there with him.

“Well, he hasn’t been entertained in a while. What will come from you watching me… naked… and…”

I just laugh and tell him to get showering. He just laughs. 

I watch both him and Risuna get naked. He’s busy biting his lip as he undresses. 

I’m saved by my cellphone ringing. 

It’s my mother. 

I show him my phone. He leaves with Risuna.

“Mama, hi.” 

“I just received a letter from Keith’s family that he wants to pay lobola.” I’m not sure if she’s happy or what.

“Yeah. We are moving to Tholoana Kingdom. We want to move married.” 

“I see. I guess that explains the urgency. They are only giving us two weeks to prepare.”

“Yeah, Keith starts a new job a month from now. We have to be moved into the new house by then.” I say. 

“Okay. So, Keith is ready?” 

“What do you mean?”

“He’s ready to pay?” 

“I believe so. But le wena uskam’bolaya hle. We still have to live.” I say.

“Uskang’phaphela wena.” 

“Mama, I’m serious. Don’t be unreasonable.” 

“And don’t sell yourself short.”

“We are leaving for Tholoana Kingdom in three weeks’ time. We would like to do it right. If you are going to mess with that, we will move anyway. Keith wants to do right by our family and me. But if you won’t let it happen, just know that we will do it anyway.” 

“Basetsana-

“Mama, I have to go. I’m getting ready. We are preparing to leave. Re yetsa msebetsi for Risuna habo-Keith. I’ll see you tomorrow after everything.”

“O tlo robala ko teng?” My mom.

“Yes. I have to. For Risuna.”

“You are not makoti wabona. Wena o tlo robala mo!”

“This is for my son. When it comes to him, I don’t negotiate. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“These are the things that will make me charge that family for disrespecting us like this.”

“Try me, mama. Remember I have an ID now. I don’t need your permission for anything anymore. Try me.” I say then I hang up.

I take a deep breath. 

…

We arrive in Sebokeng just after 7pm. Keith’s brothers are already here. Samuel’s wife is here. Masingita is not here. But, Michael is here… with his son… the son that he has with some hidden girlfriend. His name is MJ. He’s very bubbly shame. He and Risuna are driving us crazy with their noise already. His son is a toddler. But he seems to be playing with Risuna very well. 

“Congratulations! We heard the big news”, Michael says to me.

I smile then say, “thank you.”

“We have been waiting for this day since the day this fool came home with snots all over his face, crying because you wouldn’t let him walk you home.” Samuel says. 

We all laugh. 

“Really? You are going to tell that story right now?” Keith says and we all laugh. 

“Bassie, you’ve done a number on this guy since we were all kids. I’m so happy that it’s finally paying off. He’s been stressing because of you.” Michael. I just laugh, honestly. 

Then their father walks in.

TENSE! 

“Riperile”, he greets us.

“Dumela”, I’m the only one that greets back. 

Keith gives me a look.

“Thank you for your manners”, he says to me. Then he looks at his sons and says, “I’m greeting you all! You think you can come into my house and not greet me?” 

They all still ignore him.

Their mother comes into the kitchen.

“Keng? What’s with the shouting?” She asks.

“Your sons! They can’t even greet me in my own house!” The dad.

“Dumedisang ntate wa lona!” The mother says to them.

They all look at her.

“NOW! AND I’M NOT ASKING!” The mother.

Michael is the first to get up. 

The brothers follow. 

We are all suddenly saying goodnight to each other and heading to different bedrooms. Keith has long taken Risuna too. Michael took MJ.

TENSE! 

…

I can literally hear my parents fighting. My dad is upset that we didn’t greet him. Seriously? Does he blame us? Did he tell us when he was leaving us to for another woman? After years of beating my mother up while living off her payslip because he lost his job in the mines? Then he leaves the house to live wherever, abusing my mom from there by demanding that she sends him money every month… only for him to spend it with his women. He even built a house for another woman with that money. As my brothers and I grew up and found jobs, he told my mom that we must send him money. When we refused, he’d demand that my mother sends him her full salary because we were looking after her. He’s an asshole! He’s a bully! He’s the epitome of everything that I’d never wish to be to my wife and child. 

Then my mom has to go look for him and find him every time something family related has to happen, because he can’t even be responsible enough for that! 

“Keith”, I hear Bassie say. 

She’s clearly also not sleeping. I’m sure if even the neighbours can hear this screaming match. My mom is speaking softly, it’s my dad that is yelling like a mad man. Risuna is also wide awake. He’s sitting on top of my lower stomach. 

“Yeah?” I answer her.

“Your dad is not going to hit your mom or anything, right?”

“I don’t know. But she clearly loves this life. She could’ve cut this person out of her life a long time ago. We’ve all been more than fine without him. Why does she keep going back to him? What is she missing? If it’s sex, she could’ve just met another man and had sex with him. We would’ve tolerated that over this piece of shit.” I say.

“Shit?!” Risuna.

Bassie and I look at each other. 

We try our best to not react. 

“Sorry.” I say.

“Sorry”, Risuna says.

“The next thing, they call us in here for a nonsense meeting.” I tell her.

“You never told me about those meetings… for Michael and Masingita… or the one where you all had to be present.”

By the way…

It’s because the accident happened and eish- 

“Well, which meeting should I start with?” 

She shrugs her shoulders. 

“Michael’s and Masingita’s meeting was annoying… very annoying! Masingita was crying the whole time. Now it looks like Michael is crazy. She neither denied nor confirmed anything. Michael said his piece. Masingita just sat there and cried. We even took recess in that damnmeeting so that she could pull herself together. But even after the recess, she came back and cried again. I feel like it was a delay tactic. Because her family then said that maybe we should meet up again another weekend to discuss the matter further and hear from Masingita. Thank God Michael was not about that. He told them that when he leaves the meeting, he’s headed to see a lawyer to initiate the divorce so that he could marry the mother of his son. Yerrr! Masingita changed. Suddenly, she ran out of tears, then started swearing at Michael because he cheated and had a kid with MJ’s mother. She says that’s the reason why she cheated in the first place. Which is a lie! Because the kid she has Michael raising is older than MJ.” 

Bassie’s eyes widen, then her face does all these expressions. Clearly, she should’ve been there herself. 

“Then Masingita started throwing shit around, trying to hit Michael, Samuel and me. She said we helped him be a disgusting husband. Then she came for all of us, even referencing how I’ve treated you.” 

Now she looks annoyed. 

“Jwale nna ke kena kai?” She says.

She can see that this is hurting me a bit. 

She kisses me. 

I smile at her. 

I continue, “So that meeting ended with a “fuck you” from both sides. The families didn’t even know how to resolve the issues because no one could get to the source of their issues. All we took from that meeting is that there was a lot *effing* around in that marriage and they were together just for their child. Now that the child doesn’t belong to both of them, there’s nothing else that is keeping them together. Masingita is too ashamed to be a returned soldier, that’s why she’s trying to get elders to stop the divorce or separation. But Michael is over it. He’s over her. He’s moved out of their house and is living in the apartment that he put his son and the mother in. He’s been staying with them. Once the assets are sold and divided, they’ll get a better and bigger place.” 

“Yoh. She tried to phone me.” She says.

“For what now?!” Masingita talking to Bassie ANNOYS me. 

“She was trying to tell me her side of the story. She even said that Michael treats her like how your dad treats your mother”. 

“What the fuck?!” 

“And she was basically talking shit about MJ’s mother. She said MJ’s mother has been trying to separate her from Michael to the point where she used muthi on Michael. Imagine. And apparently MJ’s mother cursed her to not have kids with Michael so she could be the only one that gives Michael children. Also, she said that MJ’s mother is pregnant again.” 

“The pregnant part is true. That’s why Michael wants to marry her now. But everything else… she did that crap to herself then she blames muthi? I guess that’s the black man’s curse. You get served your own karma then blame witchcraft as opposed to your actions.”

“I asked her to stop phoning me because it’s uncomfortable. She got mad at me and said how could I say that to her. Of everyone, I should understand her position because of how you and Noria treated me.” 

“I’m going to kill her.” 

She just shakes her head.

“What happened in the other meeting?” She asks me. 

Before I can even answer her, we hear my mom screaming and shit being moved and falling over the place. I put Risuna in Bassie’s arms, jump out of the bed and head out the room.

My brothers are here too. 

My dad is whipping my mother with his walking stick and she’s falling, trying to get away from his beatings. Michael and I pull him off our mother. She’s bleeding and crying. Sam is the one who is trying to help her up and stop her crying. 

My dad is still swearing at my mother, then Michael and I both hit him, taking his walking stick and hitting him with it too. 

I hate this man! Why is he even here?! 

–

In all the madness, we were able to do the ritual. Now that it’s done, I want my father to leave. I want him to pack his shit and leave us alone. He must go back to wherever he was and never return. I’m just grateful that even Risuna seems lighter. He’s not crying as much anymore. 

We are eating now. Bassie has gone to see her mother. She went with Risuna and MJ. She’s the one who was basically mothering them. Sam’s wife is being weird today. Even now, she’s in the bedroom alone while the three of us are in here. I don’t know where my dad is, but he left after the ritual. My mom is sleeping. We gave her painkillers after Bassie helped her to clean her cuts where she was bleeding from. She’s really hurt. Bassie said her mother would come and check up on her when we leave. 

My mother and Bassie’s mother have a love-hate relationship. I think it will be resolved once I pay lobola for Bassie. They always fight because Bassie’s mother believes that I don’t deserve Bassie. She always shits on my mother for shit that goes down between Bassie and me. But I’m grateful that she does have an element of care in her for me and my mother. 

“And then? You and the Mrs?” Mike asks Sam. 

“She’s team Masingita. So, she’s mad at all of us.” Sam explains.

“For what exactly?” Mike.

“Ey, Masingita phoned her and went on and on about a lot of shit.” Sam.

“Masingita phoned Bassie too. But Bassie told her not to phone her again. And apparently, she popped off at Bassie for saying that.” I say.

“What exactly does Masingita expect your women to do?” Mike. 

“Side with her, convince us to convince you to not leave her.” Sam says.

I didn’t get that. I just think she’s being a victim unnecessarily. 

Mike is shaking his head and getting upset. 

“Anyway, Noria is arrested”, I say… changing the topic. 

“How is she taking it?” Sam.

“I went to see her. She demanded to see me – that’s the condition she gave me if I wanted her to back off. So I went. But, in me going, we had set her up so that the police would know where she is and capture her again. Now she’s somewhere in a prison in Cullinan, in isolation. She has enough money to bribe pretty much anyone to help her escape, so they don’t want any prison wardens close enough to her for her to even bribe them to get out.” I explain.

“Shit man.” Mike.

“They ran her prints and other crimes appeared… crimes that she’s been running away from and keeping people on a payroll to not pursue. So over and above the kidnapping charges, she’s facing two murder charges. She could have killed Bassie… or my son. Imagine!” 

“To think she and Masingita are close. Should I be worried?” Mike. 

“Ey… good luck, dude. I’m actually scared of what’s about to happen to you if Masingita learns anything from Noria.” I say.

He’s quite stressed. 

“When do you leave to that kingdom?” Sam.

“After I pay lobola for Bassie.” I say.

“Maybe we should consider moving there.” Mike.

“Imagine… all of us running away from bitches we once fucked and married. How much bad luck do we have?” Me.

“It’s that shit that our mother chose to be our father. He is a walking omen. Now he’s put that bad luck on us!” Michael.

We just sit in silence and wonder a little bit. How did we get to this point? 

…

I’ve just been called for a visit. It’s the first visit I’ve had since I’ve been brought to this prison. I’m treated like some dangerous criminal who could harm anything and everything in front of me. I’m not a bad person. I just don’t like people who deliberately hurt me or disturb the things that make me happy or keep me stable. All I do is fight back and protect myself. So, if you’ve never done anything to hurt me or disturb the things that make me happy, you and I could even be best friends.

Let’s talk about my charges. They sound bizarre. I just need to tell my side of the story. 

The kidnapping charge is for Keith’s son. I didn’t kidnap that child. I wanted to talk to its dad so that we could fix things. The only way that he would give me the time of day is if I had his son. I took that child to the best hospital and it got the best healthcare, recovering faster than what it would have had it depended on its mother. I mean, she did give birth at Bara. So, what I did can be referred to as babysitting. No one kidnaps anyone then does what I did for that child. Please man! 

The two murder charges against me. 

The first one happened when I was sixteen. My brother and I had gone out to get dinner. I was very close with him. He was my best friend. He was my hero. He was my everything. He was part of a gang. He lived in the Cape flats for some time. When he came back this side, I was happy. I went everywhere with him. He taught me how to use a gun. He taught me how to stab someone as a warning as well as to stab someone to kill them. So trust me, if I want you dead, you are dead. That’s why I don’t understand Keith and his thing when they say that I’m a danger to them. If I wanted them dead, they’d be dead. 

Anyway… 

So, my brother and I were going to get dinner for our family. It was his turn to buy dinner for everyone, and he had just heard about a new fast-food restaurant that we all agreed we would try. He took me with him to the shop. When we arrived, my brother stepped out of the car to order the food. He told me to stay in the car. He was my hero, so I never asked questions. I just said okay. 

While I was in the car, I saw this car park behind us… and the way that they walked just told me that they were here for my brother. And they did follow him in. I heard gunshots go off. So, I pulled out his gun, thinking I was going to help him deal with those losers that were like six against him… cowards. 

But I got there, he was the one lying in a pool of his own blood. I shot each and every one of those moegoes! Then I sat next to my brother’s body. I couldn’t just leave him there. In no time, my parents arrived to see his body to a morgue, then I was taken by the police for murdering the six moegoes.

Dad got me out. 

The second murder charge…

I was in a holding cell after having been arrested for drunken driving with some friends. It was after my bachelorette party, a week before my wedding to Keith. The gang members who had my brother killed found out that I was arrested and wanted revenge because I had killed six of their men. Yerrr, I was not going to make Keith a widower. Never! I had met the man of my dreams and I was going to have my happily ever after with him. She had weapons. I had nothing. So, I broke the light inside the cell and used the pieces to stab the girls who had been sent in for me. The cops came in to see what’s happening. I honestly thought that they were working with the gang. So, I stabbed them too. They all died. Like I said… I know how to stab to kill. 

Dad bailed me out. 

This time, he can’t do anything for me because he is now being investigated as it is almost elections time. So, he needs to appear to be a law abiding citizen so that he can keep his position. Someone leaked information of me being arrested as well as information of my charges. He had to use it as a campaign opportunity, and I understand. So right now, I’m the example of no one being above the law. But as soon as the heat is off me, I’m out of here. This is temporary. Believe that! 

I finally get to see my visitor. It’s Masingita… my fellow makoti there by the Nkunas. Ja neh. 

“Hey girl”, I greet her as I sit down.

“Girl! I’ve been coming here every single visiting day. They keep turning me away. Kanti what did you do wena?” 

I just laugh at her. I know she’s here to complain about Michael. She always does. 

“What’s up girl? You look good”, I say to her.

“How? I’m about to lose everything.” She says.

I knew it.

“Michael again?”

“Girl, who else would it be? He found out.”

“Found what out?”

“About our daughter. He found out that she’s not his.”

This girl! Do I have to teach her everything? How could she not keep that part secured at least?

“How did he find out?” I ask her. 

“I don’t know what made him suspicious. Then he went and had a paternity test behind my back.” 

“Those Nkuna boys. Yerrr! And it’s probably his baby-mama that made him sniff in that direction. No man is THAT smart.” I tell her. 

“Eish, that girl! And she’s pregnant again. I’ve tried to reach out to everyone to help me. Everyone is just on Michael’s team. And he wants a divorce. Ria, you need to help me”, she says.

I actually laugh because really, does she not see where I am? 

I finally ask her, “how am I going to help you, Masingita? Do you see where I am? No one is even allowed to speak to me here – including guards.”

“What did you do?” She asks me.

I just shake my head at her. 

“Keith is leaving the country”, she tells me.

I don’t know why a part of me dies. She sees it.

“He’s paying lobola for Basetsana in two weeks’ time, then they are off to Tholoana Kingdom.” 

“Why there specifically?” I ask her.

“I don’t know. I think Keith got a job there or something.”

Now I feel like crying. If they move there then put my name on the blacklist of people who should never enter the country, I could never see Keith again. Bassie wants me far away from the man that I love. She’s doing this on purpose!

“When do they leave?” I ask.

“After he pays lobola”, she says.

Yoh.

“I need to go”, I say and stand up.

“But we are not done talking. Ria! Hai bo!” She chants as I just ask to be taken back to my cell. I’m not happy. I need a minute to myself. I just need to…

My whole world has just ended…