I took Thuli’s advice. When I left that hospital, I drove back to the kingdom. I got home just after midday and passed out. I woke up at 7pm, told my mom I’m going to buy groceries for umcimbi and she must get ready and help my kids get ready! Ngiyokhumula! 

I phoned my brother to organise my uncles. We were going to ambush the Mbathas. And I was going to take off this damn black cloth, so I could move on with my life. 

We arrived in KZN with an animal, food and everything needed for umcimbi wokukhumula. My mother, her sister and her brothers fought for me. There were swear words flying everywhere. Okusalayo… the next day, we woke up and they cleansed me. They cut my hair, burned it with the black mourning clothes and I was fine. We drove back to Tholoana Kingdom that day and the first thing we did when we landed was my brother giving me a proper haircut. Lol. He made my afro cute and short, then used some sponge to create mini dreadlocks. My mother then phoned her priest from ZCC and he also cleansed me and prayed for me. 

The following week, my three children and I moved into a four-bedroom duplex within a cute complex. The complex is made up of apartments, simplexes and duplexes. We have our own garden, garage and carport. Each person has their own bedroom, though Hlangi still sleeps with me. He’s still my baby, bandla. The lawyers finally sorted out Uyanda’s assets and my kids got their share. We all decided that we will take the money and add it to the trust that’s already paying for their fees and that money will continue to pay for their fees. They are sorted until the end of university. I’m glad there’s something he did that we can be proud of. So, I only pay school fees for Nosipho. Which is manageable. So, she now attends the same school as her brothers. 

I didn’t reach out to his kids. I just told the lawyer what Thuli told me. So, all of Uyanda’s cars and houses (yes, he had houses I didn’t know about) were sold. The money was split five ways. My kids got their portion which we put to the trust. The NFR Legends also released his retirement money. That was split five times again. My children have theirs in a trust. The other three can fuck off. They got their bread. 

I sold my luxury car and bought an affordable VW Tiguan. It’s big enough for my kids and me. So, we are getting by. We are okay. I’m looking like a snack again and I’m happy! 

It’s been a month since we’ve been living together and with everyone in one school. And there are already complaints about these kids – well, the two old ones who are best friends and I love it, but they seem to be sharing notes on being a problem. Nosi told her teacher and classmates that her father is dead. I don’t understand because her father is very much alive, and he annoys me every chance he gets because he didn’t want me to take Nosi. He accused me of forgetting about her when Yaya was around and as poor as he is, he raised her. He swore at me and all, ok’salayo I took my child, and she was very happy to leave. Phendu apparently verbally bullies people. He has a squad of followers and he pushes wrong things. I don’t understand what’s going on with him and why he’s acting out. We are getting to a place where we are good. What am I missing? Hlangi cries all the time now. He’s just weirdly emotional and I’m worried. I might have to take him to child therapy. From what I understand, even his development is slightly late for his age. 

My brother and I decided to take the family out today. Last month, they opened Tholoana World. It’s Disney World in and for Tholoana Kingdom. So every locally produced Tholoana Network show for kids – they’ve created a world for it and apparently it’s a hit. It accommodates toddlers, pre-teens and teens. The kids are happy that we are going there. My older brother is bringing his six kids. His wife has two kids, then she inherited the other four… while married to my brother. Ja, my brother is a serial cheater shame. And moghelstays through it all. She forgives and lives with the kids, raises them and all. She’s very strong. My mom and younger brother are coming too. 

My kids are currently having breakfast. I’ve already fed and bathed Hlangi, and now he’s on my back, wrapped in a towel. 

“So guys, how are you finding school?” I ask them. 

“It’s fine.” Phendu. 

“It’s cool. I’m friends with this cool girl, Motshabi. We chill with grade elevens: Tholoana Mohale and Mndeni Khuzwayo.” Nosi tells me.

“Okay. That’s great. So Nosi, why are you telling people that your father is dead?” I ask her. 

Her eyes almost pop out. She’s shocked that I know. 

“Well?” I ask her. 

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of him. But mom, I’m friends with Motshabi whose mom is a big deal at the NFR Legends. I’m friends with Tholoana Mohale, who is ingane yasebukhosini. I’m friends with Mndeni whose father is a business giant. My dad is… you know, dad.”

“Nosi, you are in that school because I want the best for you. You don’t come from the background that those kids come from. Your background is more diverse as far as class is concerned. There’s nothing wrong with you. How do you think your father will feel if this gets to him?” I say.

“He won’t know. Uhlanganaphi with people who go to that school?” 

“Nosipho!”

She and Phendu both jump in shock at my tone. 

“I’m sorry”, she says. 

I look at Phendulile now. 

“Wena, you are busy bullying people at school now. Why?” 

“I didn’t bully anyone”, he says in defence. 

“You didn’t bring a toothbrush to class and give it to someone saying they must brush their teeth because their breath and words smell like poop?” 

Yes, that’s what my son did. 

“It was a joke, mommy”, I say. 

“Did the other child laugh or cry?” Me. 

He’s quiet. 

“It’s not a joke if the person on the receiving end is not laughing. And I won’t tolerate you making other kids cry just to make your class laugh, Phendulile.” I say. 

“But mom, the kids were just having some fun last. And the toothbrush thing was my idea. We used to do it all the time at my old school”, Nosi must not come here with her township school tendencies. 

“That behaviour is unacceptable, Nosipho.” I say. 

I’m not sure if they are telling the truth or if they are covering for each other. Because Phendu said nothing about this being Nosipho’s idea.

“Sorry mommy”, Phendu says. 

I take a deep breath then say, “Guys, I’m doing this on my own. I don’t have a man helping me… and I’m never going to bring a man in this house to start being a father around here. I’m a single parent doing my best. I need everyone to do their part here. I’m not as rich as the people whose children you are sitting in classrooms with. I’m working hard to make sure that you are exposed to the opportunities that those kids have. But I need you to show up and do your part. All I ask is that you go to school, have fun but behave and do your best. I don’t have time to be taking time off work to deal with such things. Nosipho, you have both parents alive who love you. What are you gaining from taking that for granted and pretty much offending people who are not fortunate enough to still have both their parents?” 

Silence.

“And wena Phendulile… clearly you are an influential person. Use that influence to do good things. You will lose nothing from being a good person, Phendulile.” I say.

“Like Auntie Thuli?” 

Ey! This Thuli thing.

“You miss her?” I say. 

He nods his head. 

“Phendu, she can’t be in your life anymore, my boy. We have to love her from far, move on with our lives and wish her well with hers. Okay?” 

He nods his head. 

I don’t know how to read his emotion. 

“HELLO!” My brother busts into our house. 

My kids excitedly go to him. Even Hlangi forces himself off my back, and I help him climb off so he lands safely. 

They love him.

My brothers and my mother have biometric access to our place. 

My brother’s wife and kids pour into my house. It’s instantly a full house. Weh!

My mom walks in wearing jeans, sneakers, spotti and has a Savanah in her hand. The tone for the day is clearly set and I’m not interfering with it shame. 

…

Tholoana World was nice! A lot of fun! I’ve finally had my kids bath, and now they are passed out. 

The gate just told me that Mr Mohale is here. Ona is coming to pick up a file that he asked me to put together. I wear long gym tights and a baggy t-shirt. I head outside to hand the file over. I’m not even wearing shoes. This needs to be a quick in and out. 

Oh…

It’s Khotso. 

He parks just outside my garage. 

“Hi”, he greets me as he climbs out of his car. He leans against the car then smiles at me. His bodyguards start spreading themselves around my house. 

I’m not going to kill him, and this is a fast transaction. He takes a file and leaves. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

“How was Tholoana World?” He asks me, taking the file and throwing it in the backseat he climbed out of. 

“It was fine. It was a nice family day.” I say. 

“You know that I’m feeling you, right?” 

He is?!

He barely says five words to me. Now he’s smiling and pretty much being horrible at ukushela. 

He sees the shock on my face. 

“I think you are beautiful. I think you work hard, and I think you need someone who will take care of you.” 

Shembe!

“Khotso, I don’t know what’s going on here. But this is weird.”

“I want you to be my mistress”, he says with his chest. Kanjalo nje?! 

“You can actually say that? Like, you show up to someone and say that?” I ask him. 

“I’m an old man. I don’t have the gift of the gab anymore. I say what I want and I listen to what I receive from it.” 

I chuckle in disbelief. 

“You need to move on. I’m here saying you can move on with me.” He says.

“I can’t do that to my kids. They are not ready.” 

“Then it will just be us”. 

I look at him. 

“I can’t give you kids. I’m done having kids.” Me. 

“Same” He says.

“We never meet in public. We don’t meet in my house. Absolutely no one would ever get a hint of this.” 

He smiles at me. 

This excites me a bit. But I’m reminded that the last time I did this, I hurt Thuli and I’m still paying the price for it even though Thuli has moved on. But this is Khotso Mohale. I mean… 

Eish, but I really like his wife. She’s such a nice person. 

“I’ll think about it”, I tell him. 

He smiles. Then he kisses me, catching me off-guard. Then him and his men-in-black climb back into the car and drive off. 

Eh!

…

The next morning: Sunday 

I’m making porridge for my kids. That’s one thing that they all have in common. They love Mabele porridge with Nespray. So, I’m preparing that for them and making eggs, bacon, mushrooms and tomatoes. I’ve bought croissants that they will eat with.

“Good morning”, Khotso i-messages me. 

This guy! 

I said I’d think about his offer bathung. 

I don’t respond. 

“If you don’t answer me, I’m showing up to your house.” He sends another i-message.

“Good morning Moholo Khotso“, I text him back. 

“Don’t be like that.”

“I said I’d think about it. You are pushing me.” I text. 

“I’m not. I just wanted to check how you slept.” He texts.

“I didn’t get much sleep.” I text. 

“Why?“

“My son was crying a lot. I’m going to take him to a child therapist and occupational therapist tomorrow. I’m worried about him now.” 

“Only tomorrow?“

“It’s Sunday. People don’t work on Sundays.” 

“I can make a plan for you.” 

I’ll definitely enjoy such benefits. 

“If you can, please make a plan. My son is really suffering and it pains me that I cannot help him.” 

“Get him ready. I’ll text you details in ten minutes.” 

“Thank you“, I text him. 

I go wake up Phendu and Nosi. I tell them to shower and to be quick. They are not happy, but they’ll be strong. 

I bath Hlangi. He’s asleep so I bath him while asleep. When I’m done, I put him on my hip, and make my way downstairs with his stroller in hand. 

He’s awake now and he’s grumpy. 

I put him to play a bit and I pack lunchboxes of the breakfast. They will eat in the car. 

I check my phone. 

“Appointment for 10am secured. Here are the details.” 

Then there are details. 

I phone him. 

“Hey”, he answers.

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you.” Me. 

“No problem. Let me know how it goes. Everything is already paid for.” 

Yaz, I might just start dating this guy. Who am I kidding? Uyanda’s money may just run out. That school is expensive and while two out of the three school fees are covered, I still have to cover 100% school trips, sports stuff and and and. I have to live again and I wasn’t exactly born to struggle. 

We say bye and hang up. 

“Nosipho! Phendulile! What are you still doing?!” I yell. I mean, really!

“We here, mommy”, they say. 

“Let’s get in the car. You’ll eat in the car. Nosipho, please feed Hlangi while I drive?” 

“Sure. Siyaphi konje?” 

“I’m taking Hlangi to a therapist. I think something is wrong with him.” I say.

Phendu leaves the house with the lunchboxes and Hlangi’s stroller. Nosipho has Hlangi in her arms and his bag. I grab my bag then lock up the house. 

I strap Hlangi into his car seat. Nosipho sits at the back with him so she can feed him. Phendu sits in front with me. We drive off to the appointment. 

–

I’m having lunch with my kids at Reahile now. The session went okay with the therapists. For now, we wait for the results. But Hlangi seems lighter. Happier. My kids are chatting and laughing. The two private school problems are even including their little brother in their jokes this morning. 

“Dumelang“, Khotso is at our table. 

Oh Lord! 

My kids respect him instantly. 

“Ahe“, they are Zulu, but they know to say that and not look him in the eye. 

“Are you all well?” He asks. 

My kids agree to being well. 

I’m just here blushing.

“Buhlebendalo”, he says to me. 

“Khotso, you good?” Me. 

“I’m good. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.” He says. 

“Sure.” Me. 

He leaves the table. 

My kids look at me. Then they go on and on about how cool it is that I know him. I entertain them here and there, laughing with them and all. 

My phone rings. 

It’s Siphamandla, Nosi’s dad. The alleged dead one. What does he want?

“Siphamandla” I answer my phone. 

“Hi. You didn’t send me money this month”, he says with his chest.

I move away from the table because Nosi doesn’t need to hear this conversation. I find a quiet place.

“That money was for Nosipho. Now that she’s with me, why would I send it to you?” 

“Because I need that money. And you know I do. You took one child. I’m still looking after four.” He says.

“Ungazong’hlanyela wena, Siphamandla. Those are not my kids and I’m not going to help you raise them. Each mother must make a plan with their child. I’ve made a plan with mine.” 

“These are Nosi’s siblings.” 

I just hang up. This is the biggest load of nonsense I’ve ever heard. 

“Everything okay?” 

Khotso and sneaking up on me! 

Yerrr!

“I’m fine. Nosipho’s father is just…” 

I breathe. 

“I’m good.” I say.

“You sure?” He asks me. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. And thank you, once again, for today. I really appreciate it.” I say. 

He nods his head. 

“Did they figure out what’s wrong?” He asks me. 

“They’ll send results next week.” I say. 

“Okay. I’m sure he’s okay. But whatever it is, it’s solvable. Okay?” 

I nod my head. 

“I need to get back” I say. 

“Are you still thinking about it?” He asks me. 

I smile at him. Then I say, “Based on the terms and conditions from yesterday, yes. I’ll be your mistress.” 

He smiles at me. 

“I’ll call you later”, he says. 

“Okay”, me. 

I leave. 

I ask to pay the bill and I’m told that my bill is sorted. Okay. I take my kids and we head home. As we get to the gate, I see a truck delivering a new car. It’s a BMW X7. It’s black and has red interior. Security tells me the delivery is for me. Khotso mara! What am I supposed to say to my kids? 

“Mama! Is this our car?” Phendu says with shock and excitement. 

Now I must lie. Nosi is already taking photos with the car. 

“I bought it for us, guys. Will it motivate you to behave better at school?” 

They are so excited! They agree to behave then tell me they want to go show their gogo THEIR new car. 

How am I going to explain this to my mother? My brother – even worse! 

…

Msizi has been sending me messages every day. But shame, he speaks to himself on my WhatsApp. This is literally what it looks like…

Hi.

Hello.

Hey.

Please talk to me.

I’m not interested. I’m really not. He has a child. I don’t want to be a stepmother. And honestly, I’m still a bit fearful of men right now. I know it’s been two years since I’ve been with a man and I should get over what Tee-le and Tyson put me through. But I feel like I need more time. Or am I maybe getting too comfortable in the single life? There’s just something about relying on myself and only having expectations of myself that makes me sleep at night. I’m thirty-two years old – so I’m obviously passed the bullshit phase of relationships. Like seriously, if I date now, it’s for marriage. Phela I’m close to that age where it’s getting more and more difficult to have kids. My idea of having kids is not raising another woman’s child and dealing with the drama that comes with it. 

“Sanibonani“, oh hell! 

At work?!

Busi and Gomo are gobsmacked. Ja, Msizi has that effect on people. He’s abnormally gorgeous. 

He stares at me – smiling. And he’s looking like such a snack in that suit – Mr Corporate Attorney. This is not good for someone who has been sexually starved for two years. 

“Can we book you an appointment, sir?” I ask him. 

“Khosi, did I do something wrong? You are not picking my calls and you are not even replying to my text messages.” He says. 

Busi and Gomo are SHOCKED that he’s here for me. 

“So, you come to my place of work? I’m at work, Msizi.” I tell him. 

“If you had picked my calls or at least responded to my text messages, I wouldn’t have to come here.” He says. 

“This is not a good time, Msizi.” I say.

“When will it be a good time?” He asks me. 

“I’m not interested”, I say. 

“Khosi!” Busisiwe.

These two like boys and they are going to annoy me. How horrible are they treated for them to believe that Msizi’s actions are grand gestures of love? They need to upgrade their standards! 

I keep doing my work. 

Msizi goes to sit down on one of the chairs. 

Is he really doing this? 

Fine! Nami, I’ll leave him right there. Uyazihlanyisa lo. 

We work… well, I work. Busi and Gomo take turns in giving Msizi attention. They bring him juice, water, lunch. They are just weird. I don’t talk to him at all. Every chance they get, they want to tell me how I should give this guy a chance. Mxm!

“Hai bo! Mr Ndlovu? Is everything okay? Umama unjani?” Nomzamo walks in from doing her hospital rounds and says as she notices Msizi.

“Dr T. Kunjani?” Msizi says, standing up and hugging Nomzamo. 

“I’m alright. It’s so good to see you. I hope you are not here with bad news”, Nomzamo says, hugging him back. 

“Nah, today I’m your patient.” Msizi says. 

“Hawu, yin’indaba?” Nomzamo. 

“Khosi has broken my heart”, he says.

I don’t know why that makes me laugh, but it does. 

He smiles at me as if he has hope. Nomzamo laughs at him too, saying, “So your pretty boy face did nothing for you?” 

“Zero. I’m literally talking to myself on her inbox”, Msizi says, and now we all laugh. Nomzamo, Gomo, Busi and I. 

“Then you know she’s a real one”, Nomzamo says. 

“Yeah, the real one that’s making me feel like I don’t have it anymore”, he says.

Okay, now we are all in stitches. 

“How long have you been here?” Nomzamo asks him. 

“About four hours”, he’s not lying. 

“Four billable hours?” Nomzamo. 

“Yeah. I’ve lost over R500k by just being here trying to get Khosi’s attention”, he says. 

Now they all look at me. 

Look, I’m beginning to feel bad. But seriously, I didn’t ask him to sit here and wait for me. Give me a break! 

“Lalela, I knock off at 6pm today. Let’s meet then”, I say to him. 

“I don’t trust you. So, I’ll wait here.” Msizi says.

“You know where I live”, me. 

“Yeah. And I’m scared of your mother.” He says.

I find myself laughing again. 

Ja, my mom and Mandisa have a weird fear factor about them. I grew up scared of both of them. 

“I promise you, I’ll call you when I knock off”, I say.

“I’m not convinced.” He says.

“Give him your car keys”, Busi is so stupid. Why would I do that?

“How will I get home?” I ask her. 

“Exactly. You won’t. He will have to come and pick you up. Then you’ll talk”, Busi says.

Now I’m being looked at like this is an expectation of me.

Msizi walks up to my desk. He puts his hand out, asking for my car keys. I pick up my bag, pull my keys out and hand them to him. 

“Ngiyabonga. I’ll see you later.” He says. 

I just look at him. 

“Ladies, ngiyabonga for your kindness throughout the day.” Msizi says to Busi and Gomo. 

“You are welcome”, they say. 

These two! 

They would’ve slept with him within five minutes. They are drooling! 

“Dr T… later”, he says to Zamo.

“Bye!” Zamo. 

He finally leaves! 

Now Zamo, Busi and Gomo all stare at me. 

“I’m just not interested!” I say. 

“Why?” Gomo.

“I’m just not interested in dating anyone.” Me. 

“But why?” Busi. 

“I’m just not.” Me.

“He’s a nice guy, Khosi. And you can’t punish yourself forever for what has happened in the past. It’s in the past for a reason.” Zamo.

“I just don’t want to fall in that trap again”, me.

“What trap?” 

“Love.”

“Why not? It’s a beautiful thing. And it’s the one thing that the world has in common.” Zamo.

“It’s too much power to give away… power that I took forever to take back.” I say. 

“Okay, then don’t dive in for love. Just talk to him. Give him some of your time. Enjoy some good food with him… go on dates… what will happen will happen. But shutting it off just because of what’s happened in the past – that’s giving away too much power to people who are no longer in your life.” Nomzamo.

“Tell her, Sister Boss. And Khosi, Mr Ndlovu is a good man. Remember the other day we were talking about you just being with a normal guy? A guy who won’t make you a headline? We said you should try it and see how non-dramatic and private umjolo can be.” Busi. 

I sit and think about this. 

“At least hear him out with whatever he wants to talk about. And take one risk with him today.” Nomzamo. 

“One risk?” Me.

“Yeah. That’s love right… one risk per moment. Today, you’ll talk. Take one risk with him in your talk – that risk will be telling him what you fear about opening up to him. Then see how he plays it. He may earn another risk for tomorrow, or he may shut you down completely. But you need to take one risk to see what he’s good for at this point.” Nomzamo. 

“Tell her, Sister Boss. Mtshele!” Gomo.

I guess that’s one way of looking at it. 

Eish.

…

18:30. Hospital Parking Lot

I’m walking out with Gomo and Busi. I’m knocking off thirty minutes late. I don’t have car keys, so I’ll be camping next to my car until Msizi arrives. 

Oh good, he’s already here. And he’s leaning against my car. His car is parked next to my car. 

I smile as I walk towards him. 

“Manje, mngane… i-lift?” Busi. 

Yoh! This lift life. 

Surely, it’s not a lift anymore. I’m transport at this point.

“Sawubona“, I greet him.

I hate how good looking he is. 

“Yabona ukuthi phakathi kwami nawe yimi othembekayo?” He says. 

I roll my eyes then say, “I’m here. What do you want to talk about?” 

“Here?” Him. 

“Well… does your conversation require a special venue?” Me. 

“Actually, it does. A nice restaurant. I’ve made us a booking at Bane&Ru.” He says. 

“A Maboko Seete restaurant? It’s not easy to get a booking into one of those restaurants. It takes months to book there.” I must say that I’m impressed. 

“I have my ways.” He says.

“What ways?” 

“I just have them. Can we drop your car off kini then we will take my car to dinner?” Him. 

I look at him. 

I think about this. 

“One risk, chomi.” Gomolemo.

I find myself laughing.

“Fine. But I have to drop Busi and Gomo off at the taxi rank first”, I say. 

“Where are they going? I can just take them straight home while you go change and get ready”, he says. 

Busi and Gomo – SAVAGES – are already in his backseat.

He smiles at me. Then he says, “You are the only person that doesn’t like me. I don’t get it.” 

I roll my eyes. 

“I’ll give you up at 7:30. Ubemuhle!” With this, he gets into his car and drives off, leaving me to get into my car and drive home to get ready for dinner.

I don’t have nice clothes anymore. I used to have nice expensive clothes when I was with Tee-le and Tyson. But I’ve lost them all. I don’t know what Tyson did with my clothes when he kicked me out of his place. When Mandisa went to get my things from that place, she says all my things were gone. Imagine. 

So, I start at the mall. I just need to get something nice. Bane&Ru is quite an up-there restaurant. I may be poor now, but I still know how to respect a venue. 

I go into some designer store. I’ve always browsed through this store. Teboho Seete is the ambassador of this store, so you know it’s top tier. 

I have some money in my savings. I was told I need one for rainy days. I’m not sure if this is a rainy day, but I need to look good again. I need to feel like Khosi Thabethe again. 

But…

I walk out of the store. 

If I’m so determined that this is a new era for me, then this is not how I should start it. I can’t afford a R20 000 dress. I can’t. I still need to buy a wig because I’m not wearing my afro to that restaurant. 

I just walk into another shop. It’s expensive, but reasonably expensive – as opposed to unaffordably expensive. The shop is owned by Teboho Seete. The Seetes probably own these things together. This shop is for women and girls and it’s called TebzaRu. The male version of it is MabAne.

I want this kind of money and legacy in my life. Yes actually! That’s my dream career. Msizi asked me what my idea of a perfect career was. I want to own my own store. But instead of clothes, I want to own a furniture shop with a touch of interior design. 

Oh my God! 

Yes!

That’s what I want. 

I quickly take a cute rose gold dress – tight by the boobs, but opens up at the waist, and its length is up to my knees. I take a nude heel – very beautiful and COMFORTABLE! 

I take some jewellery and I buy my wig as well. Yes, they have a high-end hair section. I get some make-up and perfume. It’s T&R perfume. But I take the T&R: A Love Chapter.  

I get all these things for R13000. This as opposed to R20000 for one dress is a HUGE saving in my view.

I like this. I’m proud of myself. 

I pay for my stuff and the staff is so professional. I like shopping at places like this because people don’t look at you because of what’s in the news about you. They deal with top-shayelapeople so much, Khosi Thabethe is irrelevant. And I love it. 

…

19:40

I hear voices in the kitchen. My mom’s house is a three-bedroom township house. Everything is close. You hear the TV playing in the TV room from your bedroom.

Mom: “Msizi, kunjani baba?”

Msizi: “Ngiyaphila mah. Wena unjani?” 

Mom: “Ngiyaphila. Khosi tells me you are taking her out. You look so nice.” 

Msizi: “Yes, mah. But I also brought you dinner, so you don’t have to cook.”

My mom is so excited she even ululates. 

They talk and talk and talk…

I’m finally done. 

I look like Nobukhosi Thabethe. Yes, that one! 32inch Malaysian Curls wig, nails done! I know I’m poor, but I make sure with my nails. I just have to! Dress on point! Heels on points! Bag on point! I even smell like THE Nobukhosi Thabethe. 

My mom’s house is so small, it’s so hard to make an entrance… the whole modelling down the staircase kind of entrance. So, I’m here in the kitchen. Standing in front of him. He looks so yummy! Lord, help me not to sleep with this man today. Please! 

“You look… BEAUTIFUL”, he says. 

“I haven’t seen you look like this in over a year, Khosi. I could just cry”, my mom. 

“No mama. Please. No crying.” Me. 

“I brought you some flowers. But you’ve soaked the beauty out of them”, he says. 

I laugh. He’s such a charmer.

“Ngiyabonga“, I say, taking the flowers from him. 

“Where are your glasses tonight? Or am I driving?” I say. 

He laughs then says, “I’m wearing contact lenses. You are in good hands. Don’t worry.” 

I smile.

“Shall we?” Him. 

I nod my head then follow him to the car.

He’s fetching me in a Mercedes-Benz E300 two-door. And it’s black. I need to see this man’s garage. 

We arrive at Bane&Ru. We stop at the door, the car doors get open for us, we are led inside while staff parks his car. I’m impressed! 

We are taken to our table and he even opens the chair for me. Not even Tee-le did that for me. Okay, maybe I need to stop comparing him to Tee-le.

“Thank you”, I say. 

He smiles and kisses my cheek as I sit down. Then he goes to sit opposite me. 

Tablets rise from the table and we have to select our meals. I’ve never eaten here before. I’m intimidated by all of this. The technology. The words I cannot pronounce on this menu. The words that I have never seen before jumping at me from this menu. 

“What do you feel like having?” He asks me. I guess he saw my discomfort. 

“What’s their best meal here?” I ask.

“It’s Bane&Ru. Everything is good here.” He says. 

“A salad then. Please.” I say. 

“Salad?” Him. 

I nod my head. 

He comes to my side of the table and looks at my tablet. He opens the salad menu. There’s a whole salad menu! Msizi is just overwhelming me now. Like what the hell?!

He opens pictures, not words. I mean, this is what they should show us first. 

“Pick a salad”, he says. 

I pick the prettiest one I see here. As I touch the screen, the salad is selected. 

He kisses the top of my head. 

“And to drink?” He asks me. 

“A nice glass of dry red wine”, I say.

He smiles. 

He likes smiling. 

He goes to sit down. 

He also selects something from his tablet. Then the tablets go back into the table. Yoh hai.

Our seats are very couchy and comfortable. He comes to sit next to me, and we chill as if we are sitting on a couch. 

“I was told to take a risk with you today”, I say. 

“A risk?” He enquires. 

I nod my head and say, “Yeah, tell you why I’m so terrified of what’s happening here between us.” 

“You are terrified?” 

“I am.” 

“Why? Ngimubi?” 

I laugh. Then I say, “No. I’ve just failed dismally in relationships. Most was through my fault and I own it. I’ve always had a specific duty I attached to a boyfriend and if he fulfilled it, I’d accept whatever his mistakes were. With Tee-le, I accepted that he used me for sex while he was waiting for his true love to notice him. And with Tyson, he owned me… abused me… almost killed me. And I let those things happen. So, I’m scared to let another man in because I’m not sure if I’ll be okay with not imposing that drama on you.”

“I understand. I think because you know that as men we are different, you should also give me my own opportunity to be with you, not making me pay for mistakes I didn’t make and not imposing unrealistic expectations of me. I do have money, yes. But I have a source of income. I make an honest living and I don’t make millions a week. So, I can’t sponsor your life. We would need to be partners. I can give you a good home, a decent car and an honest life. But that’s all I can do. And you need to be okay with that”, he says. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m on a whole change of scenery myself. I’m very different from the girl who used to trend for doing her rounds in the team”, I say. And I’m very embarrassed as I say it. 

“Good evening”.

Yoh! Maboko and Teboho Seete in the flesh! Right in front of us?! 

What?!

Msizi stands up and shakes Maboko’s hand. 

“I believe you are one of our school’s alumnis. Welcome to Bane&Ru.” Maboko says. 

That school of theirs that only rich people attend? Msizi went there too? That’s how we got a reservation so quickly. The alumnis get preferential treatment in the businesses of past students. It’s a fraternity thing for people who went to that school. 

How rich is Msizi? 

“You know, my daughter is the one who designed that dress”, Teboho Seete says to me. 

I stand up and greet her with a hug. 

“Thank you, she did a great job.” 

The four of us take an alumni picture together. After a few useless chats, they leave.

Our food arrives. 

Yummy!

“You went to that rich ass school? Dude, it’s not just anyone who goes there”, I say.

He chuckles. 

“I was there on a scholarship”, he says. 

“I see. So, you are smart”, I say.

“I’m a lawyer.” 

We laugh. Vele lawyers think they are IT and so much more. 

“You’ve never told me about your dad”, I say. 

“There’s nothing to tell. He died when I was thirteen, then my mom and I learned that he had a whole other family that had to get fifty percent of his money and assets. My mom and her kids got the other fifty percent. Learning like that how he betrayed her and how she just didn’t know the kind of man that she was dealing with was difficult for her. That’s actually the year she started getting sick.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“I chose to study and do my best to give my mother one thing to be proud of in her life. My brother acted up. He made some bad decisions and ended up getting killed. My mom has been through a lot.” He says.

“Is that why you still live with her?”

“Yes and no. When I met Lungile – my daughter’s mother – things happened.” 

“What kind of things?” 

“I mean… I was a man and I was no virgin. I loved the ladies and the ladies loved me.”

I laugh. Okay Ray-J. 

“But with Lungile, I smashed and she got pregnant. I decided I’d be responsible and step up. I was starting to get international accounts at work and she wanted space. A house. I obviously didn’t want to leave my mom alone. My brother had just died. I also thought Lungile would need help with the baby – being a new mom and all. But she insisted. And my mom isn’t one to interfere. She even encouraged me to go. So, I bought the house and moved Lungile and our child there. I was between the houses because my mom needed me. I don’t care what she said. Then, I had to go to Kigali for a deal. My mom wasn’t well. Dr T recommended that my mom not be alone. I took her to my place and made Lungile look after her. When I got back, my mom had gone back home. I wanted to go see her, but Lungile discouraged me. I took her to the doctor the next day for her check-up. She didn’t tell me why she left. Then Dr T told me that Lungile had beat my mom up.” 

Hai!

And he’s also tensing up. 

“And then?” Me. 

“I got her arrested. Six years.” 

“Where is she now?” 

“In prison”, him. 

“And your daughter?” 

“She lives with my mother and me.”

“So, what happens when she comes out?” Me. 

“She may be up for parole soon. I’ve written a letter to the king to insist on her name not being put on the parole list.” 

“She’s going to come out eventually. And you’ll need to deal with it. You have a child together.” I say. 

It’s as if he resents the idea. 

I hold his hand. He lets me.

“You are going to have to face this demon at some point. For your daughter.” 

“How?”

“I used to have a best friend named Thuli. She had the gift of always finding what’s important in a shit storm and that’s all she’d serve. I’d watch people disrespect her and she’d look past it because there’s always a bigger picture. Now that I think about it, that’s why she’s probably so blessed. She treated life as something that was bigger than her as an individual and she refused for people to be collateral damage – at times throwing herself into the collateral damage fire, just to save people she believed didn’t deserve to be hurt. So, I’m having a ‘what would Thuli do’ moment right now because I feel it’s needed. Thuli would go to the prison and see Lungile, start having a conversation with Lungile now about what happens when she gets out so that your daughter doesn’t become collateral damage in all of this. No matter how much you wish it away, you and Lungile are her parents.” 

He takes a deep breath.

“It’s bigger than you, Msizi.” 

“That’s not what’s stressing me”, he says.

“So what’s stressing you?”

“The woman you’ve become… I just want to make love to you right now.” He says. 

I laugh! 

He smiles, chuckling under his breath. 

We attend to our meals and drinks.