I have a five-month-old daughter. Her name is Ruri. She’s so beautiful. She is the beautiful combination of Maboko and me. She is the ray of sunshine that we’ve been longing for in our lives. Maboko is so in love. Sometimes, I’m a little jealous of their relationship. Sometimes, I feel replaced in Maboko’s and Bane’s lives. It feels weird to not be the only woman in their lives anymore. But I’m happy. My family is in a good place and my heart is full. 

We have also moved into our house. The one that I have BEEEEN building… then Maboko took over… now, it’s complete and we have moved in. It’s perfect. My master bedroom is out of this world! It is upstairs and has a room-size walk-in closet that I share with Maboko. It looks like a shop section in a mall. There are couches inside of the closet because it’s that big. It has a jacket and coat section, a formal shoes section, casual shoes section and sneakers sections. It has a pants section and t-shirt section. Then it also has a dress section and tracksuits section. Maboko also has his suits and shirts section as I have mine. Everything in here is colour coordinated and perfect. There is a section for our jewellery and accessories. There is also an entire section for our perfume. Listen! I love it. 

Our bedroom further has a massive in suite bathroom as well as a huge balcony with a stunning view over Tholoana Kingdom’s city. Our bedroom is right at the end of the corner. On the right-hand side of our bedroom is Khabane’s bedroom. It is a Star Wars themed bedroom. He has his king-sized bed in there with a Star Wars themed bed support. He has an in suite bathroom and walk-in closet. His are much smaller than ours, but they are nice and he loves them. He has his own study in here as well that has a desk, chair and bookshelf. His study has a door leading to Maboko’s home office and the door is a transparent sliding door of some sort. Maboko can supervise him when he is in there doing homework and later studying. 

On the left-hand side of our bedroom is princess Ruri’s bedroom. It’s currently a nursery, but when she starts sleeping alone, it will be converted into her bedroom. It’s currently themed Lion King. She also has a walk-in closet and in suite bathroom. She also has her study, and her study door leads to my home office with a transparent door separating her study from my home office. 

Maboko’s and my home office are a replica of actual offices. We both have desks, office chairs, meeting round tables and 55inch screens for online meetings. Who needs to leave their house? 

There are three guest bedrooms upstairs, one of them being occupied by Aus’Lebo and Ntate because they decided to move in when Aus’Lebo offered to help me with Ruri when she was born. We all know that my mother has never really availed herself like that for me and I needed the help. Tiisetso is living her own life now and I am not going to expect her to drop her plans for me just because she works for my husband or because we gave her our apartment and my car. I’m proud of her. She moved her children out of township schools and has them in former model c schools. She’s doing extremely well. She pops in to see us when she can, and we really appreciate her for that. 

When Aus’Lebo offered to help me with Ruri, I accepted and she moved in. Obviously Ntate was not about living alone, so he moved in too. They have been here for five months and I must say that I appreciate having them around. Maboko seems to enjoy having his dad around as well and they are even cooking up a business deal together. 

Downstairs is an open plan of my beautiful kitchen, the dining area and the TV room. This then leads to the lounge area. There is the first door down the left-hand side passage which is a gym. It’s spacious and perfect, leading to our tennis court that is outdoors as well as our swimming pool. On the left-hand side passage is Bane’s and Ruri’s playroom that leads to our massive garden that has jungle gyms, swings and a trampoline. We also have a family cinema that we have now labelled as our weekend hangout spots after Bane has put in some hours in his studying. 

Our driveway is beautiful and big, with a crystal waterfall at the centre of it. This house is a dream! Our garage accommodates six cars and if we have more, there is parking space next to our driveway. 

Trust me, I’m a happy woman. 

I’m changing Ruri’s diaper and playing with her a bit as she laughs. She’s such a happy baby. She reminds me so much of Khabane when he was a baby. We were not living in the house of our dreams and we didn’t have a house full of people to help us. It was just him and me. It was difficult and I probably cried myself to sleep every night. But every time I’d feed him my boob or change his diaper, he would smile at me like this, sometimes even laugh with me, and I knew that our situation was not so bad after all. He made me feel like I was doing something right even though I had no idea what I was doing. Bane’s smile honestly saved me from myself. 

I feel hands wrap around my waist as I finish up the diaper change. It’s Ruri’s and Khabane’s father. He has walked in here to love me like he always does. I love this man so much. I appreciate him like I’ve never appreciated a human being before. 

He is kissing my neck now.

“Hello baby daddy”, I say. 

“Hello yummy mummy”, he says and I just laugh.

“How are my two favourite girls in the world doing?” He says. 

“We are good. This little lady just ate and pooped. She should be sleeping any time soon”, I say. 

“Can I help put her to sleep?” Bane runs into the nursery and says. 

I love that he loves his sister so much. It’s so beautiful to watch. He even had a show and tell about her. Aus’Lebo and I were forced to bring Ruri to his class for his show and tell. He told his class that God sent him a best friend that he gets to share his parents with. He is loving the role of being her big brother and he will make sure that she laughs every day at least once a day until the day that God takes one of them away the way that he took his Rakgadi Gwen and grandmother away. It was emotional, but it made me realize how big my son’s heart is. I’ll always love him and he will always be my ace. 

He is sitting on the rocking chair, ready to receive Ruri in his arms. I gently place Ruri in his arms and he starts rocking her in this chair. Ruri smiles at him so beautifully. I notice Maboko taking a picture of them with his cellphone. I just feel like crying. 

Ruri starts dozing off and Bane starts rocking her a bit softer. He is so good at this. 

When Ruri is finally asleep, I take her from Bane and put her in her crib. I let her sleep on her side and put a pacifier in her mouth. It’s the only time she can have a pacifier. I’m not a fan of pacifiers, but research tells us that they prevent cot deaths. 

The three of us make our way to the kitchen to get a midday snack.

“I’m thinking of going to the royal house today”, I say.

“Things are not so great for that family at the moment and you are still on maternity leave, makoti“, Ntate says.

“I know, Ntate. But they are always here for us. Always. Without asking any questions. I don’t see why we cannot go there and just make sure that they are fine. They also need to know that we are here for them.” I say. 

“You do know that they are criminals, right?” Ntate blurts out.

Maboko and I look at him. 

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Ntate.

“Joseph, don’t do that. These kids are very close.” Aus’Lebo says. 

“Evidently not close enough because the people they are friends with are different characters to the people who run this country. I’ll never understand why Lydia ever allowed Maboko to be that close to those twins. Those twins and their parents are nothing but royal thugs”, why is Ntate so anti the Mohales?

“Well, Ntate, they are my employers. I need to go there and make sure that they are okay because if the government collapses, I’m the one who will be unemployed.” I say. 

“Maybe you should consider finding another job. You could even come and work for Maboko… or me. You are an asset everywhere you go. You don’t need that job.” That’s obviously not happening. 

“While I’m still employed by the government, I’ll have to make sure that my employers are fine.” I say. 

Maboko decided to drive down here with me. Aus’Lebo is staying with Bane and Ruri. No one was at the gate, but the gate automatically opened when our car parked in front of it. We drive in and park our car next to Ona’s car. We make our way inside the house. 

No one is in the entrance area. Where’s the staff today? 

No one is in the kitchen. No one is in the TV area. 

I hold onto Maboko’s hand because this house is beginning to feel a bit spooky. We start hearing someone cry.

“Maybe someone is in trouble”, I say. 

“Go back to the car.” Maboko.

“I’m not leaving you here alone. Let’s go see what’s going on”, I say. 

We hold hands and follow the direction of the cry that we hear. It leads us to some grey and cold room and its door is wide open. 

I SCREAM!

I turn around and run away. Maboko just stands there. 

How?!

How can he just stand there? Uncle Q is hanging on some rope with a fireplace poker through his neck. There is blood everywhere and Aunt Pearl and Gcina are sitting next to the body watching him bleed out. Uncle Mohato and Uncle Shaka are just there and they are drinking whiskey in the midst of all of that blood. 

I need to get that image out of my mind with immediate effect!

I run into Queen Kea and Regodise and they catch me. I’m shaking. I’m scared. I cannot believe what I’ve just seen. 

“Teboho, sit down”, Regodise says. 

“Dise… mme… in the grey room… Uncle Mohato… Uncle Shaka… Uncle Q…” I’m scared and out of breath and unable to put a full sentence together. 

“Teboho, sit down. Please.” Queen Kea says. 

I am given chamomile tea. I take one sip of it and I find myself throwing up into a bucket that has now been placed in front of me. Why would they just watch him die? He is their friend – a very close and loyal friend. I should have phoned first. Oh my goodness!

I keep throwing up until a cold cloth is placed at the back of my neck. As I rise, another cold cloth is placed on my forehead. They give me this damn chamomile tea again. I’m SHAKING! But I drink the tea and I feel my body calming down. 

Ona walks into the sitting area where I have been placed. Maboko walks in behind him. Khotso is here too. Isn’t he in prison? 

“What’s going on?” I ask. Maboko sits next to me. 

Uncle Mohato and Uncle Shaka walk in as well. I want to sprint out of here, but Ona holds me and pushes me back to the couch next to Maboko. 

“Don’t man-handle my wife. Have you lost your fucken mind?” Maboko shouts at Ona. 

“I’m sorry. I really am. But we do need to explain ourselves and we need both of you to hear us out. Please.” Ona says. 

I’ve been given water upon water to help me calm down – on top of that chamomile tea. Now I sit in front of the Mohale family next to my husband who has not stopped rubbing his hands since we got here and sat next to and in front of these people. They are telling us the mother of crazy stories which I believe is a lie because no one is that powerful and heartless. There is something about a church being involved that is built to support the economy of Tholoana Kingdom because Tholoana Kingdom is not exactly flourishing economically therefore the bulk of our economy is boosted by the illegal labour market and its economy. I feel like they are reading a story to me. I don’t understand how they got to this place. I understand their intentions and I appreciate that they are doing the job that nobody wants to do, but I’m honestly blown away at how they’ve been ducking and diving the police and now they’ve killed one of their best friends – after he killed Aunt Nosi and tried to hand over this church – after Uncle Shaka shot Gcina because she was working with the police and Kefentse and Linda to bring the church down because morena killed the their father. My head is spinning. 

Maboko has not said a word. 

“I think we need to get going”, I say to Maboko. 

He stands up and holds my hand. I stand up. 

“Maboko?” Ona says looking at Maboko. Ona is looking at Maboko slightly heartbroken, as if he fears losing him as a friend. 

“You’ll always be my brother, Ona. You and Khotso. This is obviously a lot to take in and I don’t want myself or my family to be part of it. I do want to thank you and let you know how appreciative I am of the fact that you kept me away from this and you protected my wife from it. We’ve been friends for years and you’ve never tried to recruit me into this. My wife has been working for you for over a year and you’ve protected her. That just shows me that I am your brother as much as you are my brother. You haven’t lost me.” Maboko says. 

He, Ona and Khotso bromance hug. 

I’m just shaking in my boots. I need to get out of here. 

I remember the day that I took Mason home with me for the first time. He was only thirty minutes old when he was placed in my arms and I was asked, “What is your son’s name?” 

It felt surreal. It felt as if Gwen would change her mind and she’d grab my son out of my arms and tell me that I have no rights to him. But she looked at me before I could submit a name and said, “I don’t ever want to see you or that thing in your arms ever again.”

“Leoatle” I said. 

“Mason”, Marcus said. 

Marcus was my fiancé at the time and he absolutely loved the idea of us having a baby. He was open to us adopting and taking over with Gwen’s child. We flew to South Africa from Liverpool with a team of doctors that would help us take Mason, make sure that he is healthy and bring him with us to the UK to be our son. 

“Leoatle Mason Meso” those are his names. 

His surname had to be mine because Marcus and I were not married and Marcus respected that. Meso is my mother’s maiden surname that I’ve taken on because I was born out of wedlock and I have no idea who or where my father is. 

My little baby boy was so small, but he was perfect. Marcus was playing in the Premier League fresh out of the Italian league at the time. I knew that Mason would be mine and I would be his more than anything. 

We grew extremely close instantly and I’ve loved my baby boy ever since. 

I was in the UK teaching. My mom helped me get teaching jobs outside of the country. Ntate Seete wanted nothing to do with me, so I know that everything that my mother did for me, she did in secret or behind his back. She made sure that I had quality education, a quality life and that I had exposure to every opportunity I wanted. I stayed with my grandparents – her parents – and they loved me more than life. I never lacked for anything financially or emotionally. I did wish to have a closer relationship with my mom, but I understood her position. What made me appreciate her more was the relationship that I’ve always had with Maboko. I’ve always had a baby brother in him and he has always thought that he had a baby sister in me. I am six years older than him, but he believes that it is his responsibility to protect me. So, we have just always looked out for each other and we have always loved each other dearly. Every school holiday, my mom would bring Maboko to Lesotho, give my grandparents money to take Maboko and I on holiday. Boy did we have fun! 

Things changed when Gwen was born. As she was growing up, Ntate Seete had a problem with the fact that Maboko had a closer relationship with me than he did with Gwen and Gwen always had attention issues. So, he stopped the Lesotho visits for Maboko. My mom then forced my visits at their house in Tholoana Kingdom. Gwen and I never got along. Ntate Seete just didn’t like me at all. He never even gave me a chance. But my mom and brother fought for me always and there was nothing he could do about my presence in their lives. To Gwen, I was a cousin. To Maboko, I was a sister. To Ntate Seete, I was an unwanted stepdaughter. To my mom, I was her first daughter.

Maboko has been trying to get me to come back to Tholoana Kingdom since I left for the UK. He never understood why I left in the first place.

“There are plenty teaching opportunities in Tholoana Kingdom as well, Fifi”, he kept saying. 

When Marcus and I broke up because he was a serial cheater, Maboko kept saying, “There’s nothing keeping you there anymore. Come to Tholoana Kingdom and you can have just as much of a successful career here.” 

Then I met his girlfriend and we became quite close. 

When she came back with a baby, years after she and Maboko had broken up, Maboko phoned me and said, “Fifi, I have a son. You must come back to Tholoana Kingdom so our sons can grow up as brothers.”

I’ve finally caved. Tebza begged me to come back. She told me how much loss Maboko had experienced with losing our mother and Gwen. She did an entire PowerPoint presentation for me as to why I should come back. After laughing and discussing, I decided to come back and Maboko let me move into my mother’s house with Mason. He made sure that I got a Head of Department role at the High School that he attended. Teaching is my passion. It’s my career love. I’d never trade it in for anything else on this planet. He also got Mason into the same school that Khabane is in. Mason is four years ahead of Khabane, but I love how close they are. It’s beautiful. 

I’ve been back for close to a year now and my career is going well. Mason has adjusted very well, but I’ve had to sign him up club football. He is loving his new team and he says there is less racism compared to what he experienced in Manchester. That makes me happy. Khabane has also started playing football and I see that it’s a whole activity that they enjoy together.

I decide to drive to the mall on my way back home from work. Maboko offered to pick up the boys today and take them to soccer practice. I have a few hours to myself this afternoon and I do plan on pampering myself. 

I park my car in the underground parking lot. It’s such a nice car. Sometimes I’m too scared to even drive it. I had nice cars like these when I was still engaged to Marcus. I was even chauffer driven to every place I wanted to be driven to. But when he left, I had to adjust my lifestyle. I kept Mason at his private school, but I had to downgrade our house and my car. We lived in an apartment and drove a smaller car. When I arrived here, my brother moved me into my mother’s mansion then he and Tebza gifted me a stunning car! It is a stunning black Range Rover sport with white leather interior. It’s painfully beautiful. Mason loves it the most. 

I walk in and make my way to a pampering session. I booked myself in for a full body massage with hot stones. I absolutely love it. It calms my body and soothes any stress that I may have. 

After my massage, I get my nails done. My hair is already done – wig is standard procedure. I just glue it on every two weeks. But the cornrows are always fresh and I have them done monthly.

It is 7pm when I’m done with everything. I make my way to my car and I bump into Uncle Shaka. 

“Fifi? Is that you?” He says. 

“Uncle Shaka, hi.” 

“I’m sure you are old enough to call me Shaka. Don’t make me age before my time”, he says and I laugh. 

“I’m so sorry about Aunt Nosi.” I say. 

“Thank you.”

“How are you and the kids holding up?” I ask him.

“We are making it. They are much older now and I must be honest, I’m grateful. Them having their own lives and being independent does the heavy lifting as far as helping them deal with it. But we will be okay.” 

“I hope you are doing some heavy lifting to deal with it as well.”

“I just go through it. The funeral was the toughest for me. But I’m taking it a day at a time and I’m allowing myself to just go through everything. This is the third time I’m losing a woman that I love. You’d think I’d be a pro at it by now, but at least I know how to deal with it a bit better.” 

I just look at him because I really don’t know what to say. 

“How are you and Mason settling in?” He asks me. 

“We are settling very well. I thought Mason would struggle the most, but he actually loves it here and he loves being close with his brother, Khabane.” 

He nods his head and says, “That’s great. Maybe you and I can have coffee some time. You need to mingle with other people outside of your brother and his wife.” 

“And you want to be that person?” 

“Why not? I’m not bad company.” 

I just laugh. 

“Okay. Maybe you should take my number and let me know when you are available. I’m a teacher. My day is usually done by 3pm. You are the busy businessman so I’m happy to adhere to your schedule.” 

He laughs and takes my number. 

We then say goodbye to each other and I make my way back home. I know it’s weird, but I really miss my child. 

I get home and I find Maboko’s car waiting outside. Why doesn’t he go inside? This is his mother’s house. 

“Why are you outside? Alone? Where’s Mason?” 

“They wanted to spend time with Ruri. I’m here to pick up Mason’s uniform for tomorrow.” 

I’m kinda down. I was looking forward to having my son to myself tonight. 

“You can come with and sleep over at our place if you like”, he offers. I think he noticed my face drop. 

“Thank you. I just really miss him.” I say. 

“But you live with him. And you saw him just this morning.” He says. 

“So?” Me. 

He laughs at me. 

I’m packing my bag and Mason’s bag while Maboko eats a plate of meat and watches me. He’s not allowed to eat in here, but Maboko’s strongest point has never been listening to instructions. 

“I’m so glad that you are back, sis.” 

“I’m happy to be back too. Mason is happier here.” 

“For real?” 

I nod my head and say, “Yeah. He experienced a lot of racism in Manchester. He says he feels less bad about being black here.” 

I see his face changing and he’s getting upset. 

“Don’t worry, we dealt with it.” I say as I laugh at him. 

He just eats his meat. 

“How does Ntate feel about me sleeping over at your house?” I ask. 

“It’s my house. I couldn’t care less about how he feels.” 

“You really are Lydia’s son”, I say.

We both laugh at this. He is the boy, but he took my mom’s sassiness. He just adds a male element to it. 

We follow each other to his house: me in my car and him in his. When we arrive, the kids are in Khabane’s study doing homework. Maboko’s and Tebza’s house is really nice. I love it. 

I settle in the guest bedroom assigned to me then I go to give my son a hug. 

“How was your day?” I ask him.

“It was good, mommy. And soccer was fun too.” 

“And Rakgadi, we were playing together today. I got into trouble because I’m not allowed on the senior boys’ playground, but my brother told my teacher that we are allowed to play together. Then they phoned my dad.” 

This was quite an eventful day. I’m not even mad that Maboko didn’t even tell me that they got into trouble. He is a well-needed father figure in my son’s life. 

“But you guys should follow your school rules. You can play together all you want at home. But at school, you listen to your teachers.” I say.

“But we wanted to play together”, they say together. 

Hai bo! 

“So, what did your teacher say to Maboko?” I ask. 

“That we have to write an essay together about following school rules.” 

Lol! 

“When you are done with that essay, you must come and read it to me and Rakgadi Tebza. Okay?” I say. 

They nod their heads and get on it. 

I make my way to the nursery where I hear Tebza and Maboko talking. Maboko has Ruri in his arms. 

“Did you see the rascals?” Tebza says to me. 

We look at each other and burst into laughter.

We hug each other saying hi then I get Ruri from Maboko. 

“She is so beautiful”, I say. 

“I fear that she will be the naughtiest of them all. Growing up with boys nje – she will not be able to resist the trouble.” Tebza says and we laugh. 

“Not my princess. She’s going to be an angel”, Maboko lies to himself. 

Tebza and I laugh at him. 

“The most important thing is that she is okay. I don’t want her to have mental illness challenges. That’s the one thing that I don’t want her to inherit. She can inherit anything and everything that she wants, but not that.” He says.

We know exactly where that came from and we both brush his arm as he stares at Ruri who is in my arms. 

The boys are asleep. Ruri finally slept as well. Tebza is training her to sleep when it’s sleeping time and be up when we are all up. It seems to be working. I slip into bed after my shower. Apparently Aus’Lebo and Ntate have gone away for the rest of the week. They must’ve heard that I was coming over and Ntate did not want to deal with me. Oh well. 

I get a text message.

“Just checking if the number is working.” 

Weird. 

“Who’s this?” I reply. 

“Shaka.” 

“LOL! Ready to do coffee already?”

“I was thinking tomorrow after work for you. I’ll take the afternoon off.” Him. 

“Sure. At Reahile?” Me. 

“I was thinking somewhere in South Africa perhaps?” 

“Why South Africa?” 

“Just to breathe a different air.”

“We can’t do that in another province? We have to go to another country all together?” 

He phones me.

“Hi”, me. 

“What’s wrong? You have a phobia of leaving the country or something? You lived in the UK. South Africa is a drive away.” 

“I cannot just up and leave to go to another country. I have to be back on time to receive my son.” 

“We will fly out and fly back in. You’ll be back. I promise.” He says. 

“Fine. I’ll ask Maboko to pick the boys up, do the soccer run and I’ll fetch Mason from his house when we get back.” 

“Thank you.” He says. 

“Goodnight for now.” I say. 

“Goodnight pretty lady.” 

I hang up. 

Why do I have butterflies in my stomach? I haven’t felt this since Marcus left. My son is not ready for me to date again. What am I even doing? 

Okay, relax Refiloe. Relax. It’s just coffee. He hasn’t even said that he wants to date you. Don’t jump the gun. Just be in the moment. Besides, he just lost his wife. He’s not moving on THAT quickly.