“Honestly, I’m tired of these weddings. Maybe my body is no longer allowing me to party and celebrate overtime. I’m about to be a gogo”, I say.

Khotso looks at me. He laughs. I laugh.

“In Mpumalanga? But I must say, I’m happy for Ntuthuko and his crèche of children. He needs to relax”, I say.

“Yeah. Pope is happy too. At least now all he has to worry about it Akwande”, Khotso says to me.

“And Luhle”, I say.

“Ey… Luhle neh…” him. 

“But she’s in Mtubatuba now neh, being straightened out by the grannies?” 

“Yeah.”

“Apparently, they are quite hectic. Wandi was telling him ukuthi bamukotizisa”, I say.

“These kids don’t get enough training. Old people are good for them. And Luhle… ai…”

We are just chilling by our fireplace, chatting away. It’s 11pm. The kiddies are fast asleep. I’m enjoying a glass of wine and he’s enjoying a bottle of beer. He’s even rubbing my feet. It’s raining and it’s cold. Winter is kicking in. 

“Baby”, he calls out to me.

“Hmmm?” Me.

“If I wanted to officially make you my wife, how would I go about it? Who in your family would I contact?” He asks me.

“No one. I don’t have any family. My family is Wandi, Rena, Moloko and you. Anyone else is dead to me.” 

“Phuthi –

“I’m not having this conversation with you, Khotso!” I snap at him.

He looks at me. 

“Sorry. I just… I don’t have family.”

“Phuthi, I have to pay lobola somewhere” 

“My mom is dead. I don’t know where her sisters are. Her brother – 

I pause. 

He looks at me. 

“He started raping me since I was twelve.” 

He is unbelievably shocked.

“His wife said I was lying because I wanted her man. My aunts said I was lying, and I should never talk about it with anyone. My mom would just make me wash the smell off. She said I shouldn’t stop scrubbing myself until I wash the experience off. When I was sixteen, he dragged me to someone else’s house, then three of his friends and him raped me… taking turns with my little body until I couldn’t walk. Then they took me to a hospital and told the nurses that I had been picked off the streets. That’s how I ran away and ended up being a criminal. My whole family sat there and supported him when I opened a case against him. They all said that I lied and that my uncle would never do something like that. My family was poor, but they managed to find money to pay people off to make the case go away. Those people are dead to me.” 

He’s still staring at me.

“When I was locked up, Wandi got raped. She told me it was her friend’s father that did it. Repeatedly. That’s the guy I ordered a hit on. Nathi didn’t care. His wife was apparently too hurt to raise my child and keep her away from a trauma like that. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive those two. My baby girl… and she was under my mother’s and family’s care. They couldn’t even protect her from rape. So babe, I have dreams about killing my family… not giving them money or begging them to help me become a wife.” 

I gulp my wine to hold back my tears. 

I pour myself another glass. 

He kisses my feet. He pulls me into a hug. I cry on his chest. 

“They touched my child, Khotso. Those people let that happen. Please don’t ask me to go back to those people. Please. I’d rather be your girlfriend forever. You know that I love you. As long as you know that, I’m good. We are married in my heart.” I say.

He kisses the top of my head and holds me tighter. 

I’m waking up at 2am. We are both passed out on the couch. He’s even snoring. I get up from his chest. He wakes up. 

“Hey”, him.

“Hey. We need to get to bed. Doesn’t your back hurt?” I ask him. 

He giggles and says, “My back is fine. My chest is struggling from the big head that was on it.”

I give him a soft punch. He laughs. I chuckle too. 

“I’m happy to see that smile again. You are too beautiful to not be happy all the time”, he says. 

I smile at him.

“I’ll try to find those motherfuckers. Then when I find them, you honour your ancestors, and we kill those shitbirds”, I say.

He first giggles and says, “At least let them buy some bread with whatever they ask us for… then I’ll help you make them rest in peace.”

“I really wish I didn’t have to see them again. You know… I hate the Buthelezis neh, but I’m so glad that they are Wandi’s family, and they dealt with her lobola stuff. I wish I at least had one decent side of the family. I don’t even know my dad’s side of the family. I know where he lived before I went to prison. But I don’t know if he’s still alive or if he even deserves to be part of this… he left us when I was five… for a younger bitch.” 

“He sounds like the lesser evil that you are prepared to deal with. Plus, he’s the one I should ask for your hand in marriage. We deal with him for a day, and we are done. You and I can get married with absolutely nothing to worry about as far as bad luck is concerned.”

I take a deep breath. 

He holds my hand… then he says, “you and me… our family… we are worth it.”

an eh…

6:45am

I’ve been calling the kids down to have breakfast. Only Moloko comes down dressed up. Rena is still in her pyjamas. Hai bo! Khotso and I look at each other. Rena doesn’t look okay.

“And then? Are you okay, baby?” I ask her.

“She’s been vomiting all morning.” Moloko tells me.

“What’s wrong? Do you have a bug or something?” I ask Rena.

“My red friend is visiting. She’s really bad this month. I don’t usually get this sick or have these much pains. I don’t know what’s wrong with me this time.” She tells me.

Both Khotso and Moloko are confused. 

“Red friend?” Moloko. 

I just hug Rena and tell her that she will be okay. That’s completely normal. Sometimes, it is that bad. But to be sure, we will go to the doctor and make sure you are good. Then you and I will spend the day in front of the TV and under some blankets, eating junk and watching movies.” I say.

She smiles at me.

“How about you take a quick shower then we can get going. Dad will take Moloko to school today”, me.

“Perfect”, she says then heads upstairs. 

“And you honey-bun, get your school bag please so you can get out of here”. I tell Moloko.

“Okay”, he says then heads upstairs.

Now it’s just Khotso and me.

“Red friend?” He asks me.

“Period.” Me.

“Oh shit. Yeah, I’m out of here with my little boy.” He says.

“She doesn’t have a disease, baby.” I say.

“I know… it’s just… what will you do about work?” He asks me.

“I’ll work late from home. The babies come first.” I say.

He gets up and walks to where I am.

He feels me up then he kisses me.

“You are the best.” He says, kissing me again.

“What’s your day looking like today?” I ask him.

“I’ll be in the office now in the morning, then Maboko, Zithulele and I are headed to South Africa for some meetings with Thabi about the reformation of that church. Then Wandi and I are having a late lunch together. I should be back for dinner.” 

I smile at him.

“She did tell me about the lunch. Look at you, mkhulu.” I say.

He laughs and says, “I’m a hot one, aren’t I?”

“Ten out of ten.” I say.

We kiss then we laugh. 

In no time, he’s leaving with Moloko and I’m leaving with Rena. She really looks unwell hey. I really hope that’s it’s just normal period stuff nje.

“Mah”, she begins as we drive.

Yeah, she calls me mom now. Both her and Moloko.

“Yes baby?” Me.

“I started taking contraceptives”, she says.

“Hawu Rena… why?” 

She takes a deep breath.

“Baby girl, you can talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I am seeing someone. And I kinda had sex with him.” She says.

Yoh! 

I don’t know how to handle this one. I really don’t. Also, that boy probably has a death wish. Does he know Khotso Mohale?

“When did you start having sex, baby girl?” 

“You are not angry?”

“I’m disappointed, but I’m glad that you came to me. We do need to have this conversation because I need to be reassured that you are safe… not getting sick and not getting pregnant. What are we going to tell your dad if anything happens to you?” 

She takes a deep breath.

“So? When did this start?” I ask again.

“We met like two years ago. But he travels a lot, so we couldn’t really start anything.”

This does not sound like a boy his age. But let me let her finish her story before I start asking questions. 

“But he calls every day. Even then… he called every day. He gets me. I’m not princess Rena when I’m with him. I can just be a person and he loves me just as I am.”

Love?! 

Isn’t Rena seventeen?! 

I’m so confused. 

“He finally moved to the kingdom permanently last year and we decided to make things official. I really love him.”

“Rena, this boy doesn’t sound like he’s a student.” I say.

“He isn’t.”

“Okay, so who is he?” 

“His name is Tumelo… Tumelo Mothipa.”

Mothipa? Where do I know this name from? 

“He is from Dithabeng. His father is a chief in Dithabeng. He currently has two wives.” She says.

Yoh, this child! 

What the hell am I supposed to say to Khotso?!

“He’s waiting for me to matriculate, then I’m going to be his third wife.” She says.

Yeses! 

I’m actually just silent and I just drive. After all of that, what am I supposed to say? Also, where’s the line that I’m not supposed to cross? I’m her mother, yes, but I didn’t birth her. And Rena will probably tell me that the minute I cross a line.

…

We are driving back home from the doctor. She’s fine. I also had her tested for STDs because this guy has more than one wife he’s sleeping with – then there’s Rena the royal mistress. Yaz, I’m still at a loss for words. I don’t know what to do with this information or with her. I feel like God is making me pay for all the years that I missed out on a hectic teenage daughter. She’s also quiet. I can tell that she wants this conversation to continue, but my brain is still processing all of this. 

But I’m curious…

“So where do you guys meet up and spend time together? He has two wives, so I’m assuming he has two houses that he’s already paying for. You’ve never slept out, so I’m ruling out the booking of hotels and weekend getaways. Where do you spend time together?” I ask her.

“He has an apartment. It’s an apartment that he’s wives don’t know about and thus don’t go to. It’s our love nest.” She says.

Heh! Weh ntombi! Siyazibona kuleli likaMthaniya! 

“Rena, do you know what you are doing, nana? Why are you doing this? Why are you being this irresponsible? There are wives in his life that will be affected by this.” I say.

“Well, isn’t it normal? Papa-Ona does it all the time. He leaves his wives at home and gallivants with women who are young enough to be my friends, sleeping with them and maybe marrying them if he loves them or if they get pregnant. Even my dad lived his best life with women out there while he left Remo-his-wife at home. I thought this is normal and acceptable. I’m not doing anything wrong, mama.”

“But look at what that did to the women. Remo left. And from what I understand, she was crazy by the time that she left. Look at Thabi… there’s nothing normal about how she moves or operates. Rena, come on. And how will you feel when you are his wife and he starts seeing other people or marrying more people?”

Maybe yaz, I’m just the one who doesn’t support isithembu. Maybe if she had this conversation with someone who gets it, it would be different.

“I’m going to be his last wife.” She says.

Okay… delusional too.

“You can’t control that, Rena.” I say.

“I can. I’m a princess. I’m above all his wives, him and his father. That means, regardless of me being his third and young wife, I’m going to be his principal wife. If I don’t approve of him marrying again, he won’t. I know the laws. I’ve studied them.”

“That won’t stop him from having more girlfriends.” I say.

“I grew up in the church. I know how to get rid of people.” 

Yaz, I really think that we underestimate how our lifestyle impacts our kids… especially this one. She’s so… 

“Rena, you can’t play god in people’s lives. That’s not what the church is about. Yes, we break laws and there are some necessary evils that we have to perform to get shit done, but it has never been for selfish reasons. Your grandfather, Mohato Mohale, started this church as a way to serve his country. He wanted human rights to mean something to the citizens of Tholoana Kingdom. He wanted citizenship to not only belong to the rich, but to be accessible to everyone regardless of their financial standing. People around him went to school and advised him about social grants, better living conditions, an excellent education system and world class care for the ill, the elderly and those in danger. People had brilliant ideologies about a country that had top security and a people that could compete on world stages. But no one spoke about how all of that would be funded. He put himself, his family and people close to him on the line… sacrificing their rights to access citizenship, so that the greater country could have it. He started the church to fund the ideology of what Tholoana Kingdom could be, and you know what… Tholoana Kingdom is the only African country that is the closest to what any constitution requires a country to be. Hell, we are doing better than some European countries. His kids didn’t see the door of a university… they helped him to let others see it instead. He paid for the consequences of what he started as a leader that no one will ever see again. And the ongoing consequences of that is having grandchildren such as yourself thinking that has made you god in people’s lives… not for a greater purpose, but for you to serve your own wants. Do you ever think about what your dad will do if he finds out about this? We both know that wives will be without a husband and children will grow up without a father. You know that you have the power to disrupt life for those people, and you don’t care. You are willingly participating in that, fuelling that possibility knowing you have nothing to lose. Rena, this cannot be you, my baby. It cannot.”

She’s quiet. 

I hear her sobbing. 

Then she says, “but mama, I love him. If I let him go, how do I know that I’ll ever meet someone who loves me and gets me like he does?”

“I can’t promise you that, Rena. I cannot. And I don’t want you to give up on love because love is a beautiful thing. I just want you to be responsible and conscious of your actions and what could become of them. I love you. I’ll always side with you and I’ll always do my best to protect you until my eyes close for the last time on this earth. But baby, that’s not going to stop me from telling you when you are wrong. I’m sure you love him. And I’m sure he loves you too. But this is bigger than both of you. Loving him is loving his kids… and do you want them to be robbed of a dad? Especially when you grew up with one and have seen what a father can do in your life? Things that a mother cannot do. Rena, some people will never know the love of a father because not every man is willingly putting out their love for their kids. These kids have a dad that is present and that loves them. How will you feel if you take that away from them?” 

She’s sobbing. 

Then she says, “if I promise to end things with him… or not come between him and his family – 

“Rena, you’ve already come between him and his family. The only way to make it right is to end it with him.”

She takes a deep breath…

Then she says, “I know you have to tell dad. But, if I promise to end things with him, please stop him from killing him. Please.”

I just look at her.

I’m worried. This I must say. 

…

We are flying back to the kingdom right now. Pope, Fifi and Akwande are flying with us. They were in South Africa to resolve some stuff for Ntuthuko. So now they are headed back home. They heard that we are around using the private plane, so they joined us on our way back home. 

Pope has just asked Ona, Maboko, Zithulele and I to be his negotiators for Ntuthuko’s lobola to Tamia. Didn’t these people just meet?! 

“How much is he willing to pay for her, Mashimane?” Zithulele asks. 

“Ey, Qwabe… the thing is… Ntuthuko has four kids and Tamia has none. She will be inheriting four kids to raise before she’s even birthed her own. Bazosibulala lapho kakhulu.” Pope says.

Yeah, he’s in shit. 

“Kodwa Ntuthuko didn’t kidnap her”, Zithulele. 

“And she loves him. She will advocate for him on our behalf before we even get there.” Fifi says. She’s so naive shame.

“That’s not how it works, love. Besides, that will only make things worse. She mustn’t have any conversations with her parents about this. They’ll interpret it as us disrespecting them.” Pope.

“Mara le bona! They must be reasonable”. Fifi.

“Being reasonable is subjective though. If Ruri told me she was marrying someone with four kids, my first reaction would be hell no. Then me being reasonable would be a business plus cows plus cash.” Maboko says.

“Haaaaa!” Fifi says.

“Heh! I can tell that you’ve only had boys. Wait till Luhle gets married. Pope over here… he will not be nice.” Maboko.

Pope suddenly gets tense. Just the thought makes him tense. We all laugh at him. He lets a smile escape.

“On top of inheriting four kids, Tamia is a businesswoman and a lawyer. Re tlo bona masepa, mo.” Ona.

“Ja, Ntuthuko decided to be brave. You know, I always thought he’d take someone from the village. All his baby-mamas are village girls. Why couldn’t he marry one of them? He had to go for Mave’s daughter.” Pope.

“Mave Khumalo?” Me.

Pope nods his head. 

“Yerrrr!” Me.

“Re tlo bona sebunu!” Ona.

“Mashimane, what are we prepared to part with?” Zithulele.

“Ntuthuko will buy ten walking cows and have R150 000 cash prepared.” Mashimane.

“Yoh! Umakoti obiza kangaka?!” Zithulele is so stingy when it comes to paying lobola. It’s actually funny. I wish he had girls so another family could do that to him.

“It is a bit much, Shaka. Ntuthuko is not kidnapping Tamia or forcing her into this.” Fifi.

Zithulele and Fifi are so stingy. Why?! It’s not like the Maphumulos don’t have this kind of money.

“Knowing Mave, he will want in on a business or two.” Maboko highlights. 

That man… we could actually give him a business as the full lobola, and he will let us have his daughter.

“True. Plus, Tamia is his only daughter.” I say.

“On top of ten walking cows and R150 000, he will want a business? Udayis’ ingane yini?! Uyabhosha phela manje.” Zithulele.

I actually cannot stop laughing at this guy’s frustration. 

“Give him a tender.” I suggest.

“Tender?” Pope.

“Yeah. He co-owns a sustainable energy business with his daughter. With the school that Thabi is building in South Africa from that church, plus the community that we are about to install electricity in – the malls included – we could give him that business. It will be a win for him… but it will also be a win for us because Tamia will probably have to come and oversee the project in Tholoana Kingdom, and thus strategically end up living here as opposed to Ntuthuko living in South Africa. We will require Tamia to move and they’ll probably move the R150 000 to R200 000 for that. But if we make them to make that decision for the benefit of their business, we don’t pay for it.” I say.

“That’s a brilliant idea.” Pope.

“Eh baba, siyokhokha laphaya… and not a small price. If we tell Tamia to live in clothes zasemakhaya and cook only using amalahle, that’s exactly what she will do. The last thing that she will be doing is dictating to us where Ntuthuko will be staying.” Zithulele.

“I just thought that I’d point out that she has all four baby-mamas on their knees. I doubt that in her eyes, you are a mountain. If you are one, you can most certainly be moved”, Akwande says to Zithulele.

We all look at him, then at Zithulele… then we all crack up. 

“So pope, are you planning to pay damages for the kids now that Ntuthuko and Tamia are taking over with raising them?” I ask.

He laughs and says, “Ntuthuko and Tamia are doing that and… they are getting full custody of the kids. Tamia will also be legally adopting them so the mothers cannot – under any circumstances – take them away from Tamia.”

“Yoh!” We all react.

“How brave is Ntuthuko?! Ufunani with a lawyer?” Zithulele.

“What do you think about that?” Maboko asks pope. 

“All I know is that I only met my grandchildren for the first time now that Tamia is in their lives. Their mothers have spent more than mountains of my money and Ntuthuko’s money, but they’ve never brought those kids around for ice-cream at my house. I also know that Ntuthuko never had a relationship with these kids. He barely knew them and they barely knew him. But their mothers had a committed relationship with his money… to a point where the minute the money was taken away, they dumped the kids on Tamia. And to show that even they know that they are wrong, they didn’t go to maintenance court. Tamia is making sure that relationships are built… that Ntuthuko is involved and understands the role of a father. Those kids are so safe with her… stable even. I usually don’t support a child being separated from its mother… but I’m beginning to wonder if a mother is only the woman that gave birth to a child.” 

Deep! 

“Mashimane, R150 000 plus ten cows plus tenders is a lot… even for a woman that walks on water. With a tender, siyaphula kulez’inkomo nalemali. Five walking cows and nothing more than R100 000.” Zithulele.

“If you can negotiate along those lines, I’m not going to complain.” Pope.

“In Zithulele we trust!” Fifi.

We all actually laugh. 

–

I get home just after 8pm. 

Phuthi and Rena are washing the dishes together. It’s actually beautiful to see Rena like this – disciplined and just being a child. Moloko is reading to them. It’s his reading homework. 

“Dumelang”, I greet them. 

“Hey dad”, Moloko says, coming to give me a hug and a fist-pump.

“Hello papa”, Rena says, hugging me.

“Hello baby”, Phuthi says, giving me a kiss. 

She stops doing the dishes then she prepares my plate for me to eat. 

“Rena, this is your parcel from Wandi. And Moloko, this is your parcel from Senzi,” I say giving them gifts that Wandi and Senzi gave me. I had strict instructions to not open these, so I didn’t.

Rena and Moloko are super excited. 

They open their gifts. Rena got an Apple monitor. She screams, chanting that Wandi is the best and she’s headed upstairs to set up then FaceTime her. 

Moloko got an Apple MacBook Pro. I didn’t even know that these kids needed these gadgets. They normally just ask or use their own bank cards to swipe for stuff they need. Or maybe I’ve missed out on something.

“Senzi said that they’d come for my play at school.” Moloko tells me.

“Yeah, they did say that they’d be driving back with us after Ntuthuko’s and Tamia’s wedding.” I say.

“Yes!” Moloko says. 

I’m busy helping Moloko set up his MacBook while I eat my supper. Phuthi is cleaning up in the kitchen. When we are done setting up and I’m done eating, Phuthi tells Moloko to call Rena then he only has thirty minutes of MacBook screen time… she will come and check.

Moloko excitedly agrees then heads upstairs. 

As Rena climbs down the stairs, stealing looks at Phuthi and Phuthi stealing looks at her, I can just tell that they are about to lay a bomb on me. As long as she’s not pregnant, I can take just about anything. 

The three of us are now seated at the dining table. I’m at the head of the table. Phuthi sits on my immediate left. Rena sits on my right, with two chairs between us. I look at Phuthi. I look at Rena.

“Papa, there’s something that I need to tell you.” Rena starts. 

Lord, please don’t let her be pregnant. Please. 

“Okay…” me.

She looks at Phuthi. Phuthi is staring right back at her. It can’t be that bad. I mean… they were washing dishes together when I walked in here.

“I’m seeing someone.” Rena.

Why am I being roped into girl talk? I don’t need to know this.

“And it’s serious.” Rena.

“How serious?” Phuthi. 

She’s not getting married, is she?

“He wants us to get married after I turn eighteen.” Rena.

“Get married with what? Isn’t he eighteen himself?” Me.

Rena clears her throat then says, “He’s actually got two wives and three kids. I’d be his third wife.”

This is a joke.

Right?! 

I actually stare at her. I feel my hands shaking already. Rena looks at Phuthi. Phuthi looks at Rena. These looks are having me feel a type of way. 

“But, I’ll end things with him. Mom made me realise that it’s for the best. It’s just that… I love him. And he loves me… and – 

“Voetsek wena! Voetsek!” I find myself saying to her. I’ve never swore at my children before, but this rubbish that I’m listening to right now… kak, I tell you! 

“Who is this motherfucker?!” I ask.

Now she’s scared.

“KE MANG?!” I snap.

“Papa, please don’t do anything to him.” She begs me with tears in her eyes.

I stand up and charge towards her. I’m actually going to give this child the beating that Thabi has been saying that I should give her all these years. Phuthi has jumped over the table and jumped into my arms to prevent me from hitting Rena. 

“Rena, go upstairs.” Phuthi says.

“She’s not going anywhere! She’s a woman, akere! She has sex with married people now and she can say shit like she’s going to be people’s third wives. She must answer for her shit!” I’m trying to put Phuthi down so my hands can work on Rena, but she’s not letting go. 

“YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HIT MY CHILD, KHOTSO! RENA, GO UPSTAIRS!” For a moment there, I heard Lulu’s voice and her face flashed before my eyes. It’s like Phuthi has transformed into her right this minute. I’m not sure what’s happening to me. 

Rena and I stare at each other as she slowly heads upstairs with tears in her eyes. We both know that our relationship has changed… forever. 

“Hlala phansi, Khotso. Siding’ ukukhuluma”, Phuthi says to me. 

I watch Rena disappear from the stairs, then I sit down. 

She sits down.

She takes a deep breath. 

I look at her. 

“This thing is deeper than Rena just dating”, she says. I’m not sure what she means. 

“Rena was talking about how her behaviour is normal because you and Ona have never had issues with leaving wives at home and having girlfriends all over the place. Clearly, she’s been observing this behaviour from the adults around her.” 

“So, she’s being this way because Ona and I were – 

I can’t even finish my sentence.

“That’s one part of it. The second part is that she believes that when this guy marries her, she will be above the guy and his wives, meaning that she will not allow him to take on more wives, and as far as girlfriends are concerned, she will make them disappear… she knows how to do that because she grew up in the church.”

The fuck?! 

Phuthi sees the shock and confusion on my face. 

“Khotso, I think we are missing out on the impact that the church has on these kids. I mean… the last time we had to go into hiding, she told Wandi that our lives are only good for a bit… for the most times, we are dodging bullets and burying people that we love. She said we just need to make sure that we are not the ones being buried or arrested.” She says.

Rena?! 

I just thought that she was an angry child all her life. But she’s just internalising being a criminal. 

“Baby, maybe we need to start having a conversation about what we want for these kids. Will we see the end of the church?! Or are we raising the next generation of church leaders that will be more ruthless than the generations before them? Without even understanding why the church started? I had to tell her why your father started this organisation. And she was slapped by a reality that she had no idea about. We run with them. We expose them to the world’s greatest danger, and we don’t care to explain why… we let them internalise it and hope that they become untainted people. For all we know, Rena went to that guy of hers running away from all of this.”

I actually start crying.

She gets up and she sits on top of me. 

She pulls my head to her chest. She holds me and I just cry. 

But I do want to know who this motherfucker is. 

“Who is he?” I ask her.

“I’ll tell you. But promise me that you won’t touch him. Rena promised me that she’d end things with him.” 

“Phuthi, ke mang?” 

“Baby, promise me.”

Why is she making me make such promises? I don’t want to make such promises because I’ll promise her now, then I see that motherfucker… start imaging him having sex with my daughter… then I’ll murder him.

“Fine. I promise.” I say.

“Tumelo Mothipa.” 

“What the fuck?!”

She holds me. 

“What are we going to do?” I ask her.

“I think it’s time we had a serious conversation with these kids about the church and what we are expecting from them. But I guess we need to figure out what we are expecting from them so we can communicate it clearly. I’ll invite Wandi over as well. She’s bound to find out what’s going on and I’d rather she hears it from us. Rena has already told her a mouthful and she’s asking questions. I don’t want issues with pope and maybe he hasn’t decided if he’s going to tell Senzi. But if Wandi knows… Senzi knows. So, we get the Maphumulos, we get Ona and his family, we get our family, and we tell all our kids everything. We answer their questions. We prepare to be hated for a few weeks or months, but we deal with it. Rather that than watching them spiral out of control thanks to our behaviour and us not realising the impact of our behaviour.” 

I just kiss her through my tears. I didn’t realise how much I’ve needed her my whole life.