“Why are we here, mommy?” Siya asks me.

Sandile and I look at each other.

“We just going to be staying here for a little while, my boy”, Sandile answers him.

My mom has been judging Sandile and I since we left Diepkloof. She is not happy. She has a lot of questions – many of which question my sudden closeness with Sandile. If there are two people who can fight on this planet, it is Sandile and I. Sandile’s baby mama and I fight just as much. She thinks she knows everything and she always finds a way to bring a conversation back to being about her. We are in Ermelo and she is telling us about a time when she ran away from home and found herself in Mozambique.

No one cares!

We left at night and drove to Ermelo. We have just parked outside the house that Sandile bought cash. The plan is to live here for some time. The house is in the township, but it is big. It is a house similar to the one we left in Diepkloof. Sandile could have bought a house in the suburbs, but he is so addicted to the township and refuses to move out of the township. The house is not furnished yet, so we give that assignment to mama and the baby mama, Kgomotso.

Siya has his own room. Zolile (Sandile’s eldest who is now a teenager and knows girls) has his own room. Carol (Sandile’s youngest) has her own room. My mom has her own room, I have my own room, then Kgomotso and Sandile share a room.

There is an outside room. Sandile and I decide that this will be our office. We are going to need it. We have money. The robberies were a success and we have twelve traveling bags full of money. We got rid of cellphones and laptops. We will start over. Sandile and I will figure it out. We will support this family until we figure out our next step.

We arrived in a Quantum that Sandile convinced me to buy. He actually bullied me into it. I would have never taken out my own money to travel in a Quantum. That’s such a Zelda thing to do. Sandile said he would be able to use it to make money. It parks in the double garage that we have here. I need to get myself a smaller car to get around.

Siya decided to be a baby and sleep with me last night. We have just woken up and need to prepare for the day ahead.

“I miss baba”, he says. He is talking about Mthunzi.

“Really?”

He nods his head.

I sigh.

“Why did he leave us, mama?” He asks me.

I cannot exactly blurt out that George is his real dad.

“Would you like us to call him?” I ask him.

He nods his head.

I grab my phone and dial his number. He has blocked me. Wow. Let me call Zelda. I love messing with that girl anyway. I love reminding her that the man she calls a husband was mine first and their marriage and perfect life are on borrowed time.

“Yes?” She answers her phone, attitude on a thousand.

“I’m looking for Mthunzi“, I return the attitude.

“Well, you dialled the wrong number”, she says.

“He blocked me on his number”, I say.

“And you assume that I would hand him my phone? How arrogant of you”, she says then hangs up.

This bitch has grown balls.

I text her: “Siya misses him. He wants to speak to his baba. Surely, you are not going to stand between father and son.”

She replies: “Like I said, you are communicating with the wrong number. Perhaps this is the time to introduce Siya to his real father.”

Mthunzi actually told her?! What the hell?!

“He’s busy, my boy”. I say to Siya.

He pulls a face. He is going to be depressed all day.

We make our way to the kitchen and find mama and Kgomotso ready to take over the malls closest and furthest to us. Zolile and Carol are eating breakfast and there is a plate waiting for Siya.

“Good morning”, I greet.

Siya’s mood improves the minute he sees his cousins.

“Morning”, Kgomotso says.

“You slept well?” My mom.

“Yep. You?” Me.

“I’m still wondering why I’m here.” My mom.

“It’s temporary.” I say.

“That’s not what I asked.” My mom.

“I thought we could do with the change of scenery. It will be good for all of us, especially Siya with everything that has happened.” I say.

“Do you see a child when you look at me, wena Sindiswa? For you to tell me that nonsense with a straight face and expect me to believe it? I know that you are probably in trouble. You have always enjoyed dancing to trouble and dangerous situations. What I don’t get though is how Sandile is involved.” My mom.

“Mama –

On que, Sandile walks into the kitchen.

“Hello family!” He greets us.

“Good, you are back. Now you and Sindiswa can collectively tell me what’s going on.” My mom.

“What do you want us to tell you? You have a roof over your head – an expensive one, may I add. You have food to eat, clothes on your back and you can have whatever you want. Sindiswa and I have made sure of that. Since when are you interested in how that happens?” Only Sandile is brave enough to say things like that to my mother. That’s because he is her favourite child and he gets away with saying things like that to her.

“Sandile, have you and Sindiswa put our lives in danger?” My mother asks.

“No.” Sandile.

“Then why can’t we be in Diepkloof and do whatever it is that you and Sindiswa have come here to do?” My mom.

“We need to get the day started. Are you all ready?” My mom is hurt by this deliberate dismissal of her question.

“Ubuyaphi, wena Sandile? You’ve been gone all night. How do you even know people around here? We arrived izolo and we don’t even have furniture in the house yet. Wena you are gallivanting the streets already.” Kgomotso.

“Ngeke phela! Nami my data for answering nonsensical questions has depleted.” Sandile says.

“Nonsensical? I am asking nonsensical questions, Sandile?” Kgomotso is really trying to start a fight right now? In front of all of us? Can she save it for the bedroom? Some of us really don’t want to hear about a story that she has probably made up about being ignored or abandoned by a boyfriend the way that Sandile is doing right now. Everything triggers her. I don’t know how Sandile stays listening to this woman.

Sandile ignores her and tells me that he found a place for me to open my salon. Yep, beauty is my game and I’m taking over Ermelo. They can do with a bit of Sindi in their lives.

“Salon?” Kgomotso.

“Yes. And today, I’m meeting some people who will help me to start making this taxi ‘rank’ around here and make us some money”, Sandile says.

My mom and Kgomotso look at us. I just smile at Sandile.

“Go get ready. We will drop mama and KG off at the mall with the kids and we go sort out other stuff”, he says. Oh ja, Siya and I are still in pyjamas.

Sandile likes being the man in charge. But he has an element of toxic masculinity that I am not entirely comfortable with. Something about the tone he used with mama and Kgomotso this morning gave me PTSD about how George used to handle me. He wasn’t as violent as George, but the insinuation that one should be grateful that he does all the work and we benefit therefore should not ask any question – it just sent chills down my spine. I think I now put men on a scale of Mthunzi to George. The closer you are to Mthunzi on the scale, the safer I feel with you. The closer you are to George on the scale, the more you turn me into an animal in need of survival. Sandile is in the middle of the scale, tipping more onto George than Mthunzi. It scares me a bit. Or maybe I should just get help and deal with what happened?

I’m Sandile’s favourite person right now because I’m not standing in his way and am giving him permission and money to be this in control. But he mustn’t annoy me. He better not be a George. I’ll take all this money away as quickly as I gave it to him.

Indeed we got into the Quantum and we make our way to Ermelo Mall. We all go our separate ways when we get to the mall because mama and KG were told to make that hall we slept in last night a home. We were asked what the budget is and Sandile sent R200 000 to KG. KG just assumes I’m rich. She assumes that I wake up and shit money, so she didn’t ask questions. Carol and Siya went with mama and KG. Zolile decided to come with Sandile and me.

We bought two smaller cars – a Polo TSI for Sandile and a BMW 1 series for me. It is a downgrade, but it will do for now. I need to start living like Zelda until I meet a Mthunzi who will give me my next big break. If I had a thing for cleaning, I would go into rich people’s houses, pretend to be the best thing that ever happened to them, then run away with the husbands. It’s not like I’m not a beautiful woman – I am flippen gorgeous and I know it. But this move to Ermelo and into this phase of my life has to mean something. There is a message here that I need to listen to. Something tells me that I am not going to find the message or the lesson in a rich man. I will perhaps find it in my own power and ability to make my own money and take care of my son – the one thing that God didn’t take away from me when He was on a spring-cleaning spree in my life – vacuuming away my marriage and my daughter. Everything in my life fell apart so quickly. I need to understand what lesson I need to learn from picking up the pieces.

We bought three more taxis, three trucks and two Ivecos because this is going to become and official business.

We went to see the spot that Sandile got for me to operate my beauty bar that he calls a salon. Imagine. It is inside the mall and it will do wonders. I bought laptops for the kids and I, even KG shame because I need her to be a trooper. She annoys me, but according to Sandile, she’s important. I need to train myself to like this girl. We are going to be cooped up together for quite some time and in my mind, she is Siya’s nanny. I will never say it out loud because she will make up a trauma story to share. But I pay for her lifestyle, I educate and feed her kids and she is living in my house. Doing for and with Siya what she does for and with her kids is the LEAST that she can do around here.

Zolile chose the cellphones for everyone because all seven of us are cellphone savvy. I managed to get us an unlimited Wi-Fi contract and asked them to come connect our fibre.

It is 6pm when mama and Kgomotso tell us that they are ready to go. We get back into the Quantum and head home. As we arrive, trucks with our furniture arrives. Our furniture is being offloaded and put in place. The kids are playing in the yard. Yep we have a yard. We have a gate arriving tomorrow for making sure the kids are safe. While furniture is being unpacked and Kgomotso is conducting where things should go, mama is unpacking shit loads of groceries, cutlery and crockery.

George won’t look for me. He is not a stalker kind of thug. He just likes raping and controlling women. I didn’t leave the country because I know he won’t go looking for me. But I needed to leave and be far enough for him to get the message: I’m gone and I’m done.

I order food online because no one is cooking after the day that we just had. We will all collapse on our new beds and new linen tonight, sleeping like babies that are high on Panado. Nandos will do. It will be delivered.

“Are you okay?” Sandile asks me while putting a bottle of Savana in front of me and him opening Castle Light. Whatever told this man that I drink Savana –

“I’m nervous.” I say. I’m being honest.

“Don’t be. This is a new start for us and that crazy pimp will not be coming here looking for you. I’ve met some people. We will be protected. Our transport business and your salon.” He says.

“Beauty bar”, I correct him.

“Whatever.” He says.

We are in our office. I am busy getting furniture online for my beauty bar.

“Thank you, bhuti. For everything.” Me.

“You are very brave, sisi. Very strong. You and I will be unstoppable.” He says.

I drink the Savana. It tastes as bad as I thought but hey, I need it right now. But I will not be a Savana girl. I rebuke the possibility.

“I will hire two admin assistants. One will be for you and one will be for me. Where we are sitting will be reception and they will work from here. Part of their jobs will be to clean the house as well as take care of mom and the kids. KG will manage them. The biggest room out here will be your office. The other one will be mine and the other will be KG’s. What do you think?” I ask him.

“My job is at a taxi rank or on the road. What am I doing with an office?” He asks me.

“Where will you keep paperwork? Especially for whatever the trucks will be doing?” I ask him.

He looks at me like I’m being extra. I haven’t even asked where those trucks will be parked.

…

The Polo and the BMW arrived this morning. Kgomotso said she would use the BMW to go look for schools for the kids. I wanted to say no. I bought that car for myself. Her man bought a Polo. If he knew that his girlfriend likes things, why did he buy a Polo? Now I, Sindiswa Msomi, must drive around in a Polo? I am trying to like KG, but she is beginning to piss me off. Sandile gave me a look, so I let her take the BMW. She left with Siya and Carol. I am waiting for my next menstruation cycle to begin, then I will tell her to not get comfortable in being entitled to my money. She clearly doesn’t know who I am. If she wants to learn, I will teach her.

My mom is already gossiping with people over the fence. When exactly did she meet these people? We just got here. Sandile takes after her as far as people skills are concerned.

The taxis, Ivecos and trucks arrive as well. Sandile is already in a meeting with some men. A lot of men. We have an office, but no, they are meeting in the street. Our office is being set up.

“Auntiza”, that would be Zolile. I asked him to call me Sindi, but he prefers Auntiza.

“Yebo?”

“I am helping you recruit your beauty bar staff today, angisho?” Him.

I appreciate that he calls it a beauty bar and not a salon. But I also know that he is a teenage boy with raging hormones and he is having sex. I just know it. I laugh because he just nominated himself to do this. I put out job adverts on the beauty bar’s website and each beautician will be recruited in accordance with process.

“You can come with me to the beauty bar and help me set up. Interviews will only start later this week. I need to set up shop first.” I tell him.

“No problem. I’ll drive you”.

I do not protest because I was not keen on driving that Polo anyway. Whether or not this boy has a license is not my concern. His dad will deal with the tickets if we get stopped.

Zolile and I get into the Polo and go to my beauty bar. We spend the day there because furniture is arriving. He is such a decent kid. He helped me out a lot. I think he doesn’t enjoy being around the smaller kids. I am just trying to understand how I am the coolest adult in the house – why would he want to hang out with me? I am not the kind of adult who asks about school and whatever else adults engage children about.

The reception area is small, but I make it cosy. There are three couches – white and peach. There are two coffee tables that are rose gold and glass. I have put nice flowers and glass flower vases. I have put two bookshelves where I will be selling strictly African novels. There is a nice sound bar for music to be played.

In here, we have two massage rooms, a nail section that accommodates three nail technicians and three chairs for hair to be done. There are also three hair basins. I like it. It’s cute.

The branding people are also here branding my windows and door.

“Utopia” – that is the name of my spot.

Your girl is back in business. This time, I’m not sleeping my way into wealth.