Mfundo and Nene invited us to their house for dinner today. Mfundo and I want to chat about the Legends. They’ve been on an all-time losing streak lately, and we are not sure how to bring it back to how it used to be. Maybe the era of Yaya, Tee-le, Shack and Leruo was a once in a lifetime experience in football. But still… we used to be top of the league and now we are somewhere between 10th place and relegation. 

Fikile suggested that we do a documentary for the current team… telling a story about how these players have such massive shoes to fill. It is our narrative, and we decide what that will look like. She then said we should take them on a gentlemen camp, where former players also come in, teach them our values and start strengthening their minds in all of this. I’m with it. Now that her mother’s burial is out of the way and her brother is in rehab as a part of his healing programme, we can perhaps bring this conversation up again.

We walk into Mfundo’s and Nene’s house. Nene is heavily pregnant now. She could give birth any day. 

“Timer”, Mfundo greets me with a bromance handshake.

“Kunjani, ndoda?” Me. 

“I’m good. You?” 

“I’m good, son.” 

He greets Koena, Thingo and Zothile. 

Nene and Koena are already bonding about being pregnant. Nene is saying that she’s done with kids. Koena says that’s what she said after Thingo, then Zothile happened. Nene laughs. Then she says, “Mah, what am I going to do with four kids?” 

I never understand this question. What does anyone do with four kids? You raise them and love them. You do with four kids what you would do with one kid. 

But anyway. 

They are expecting a girl. Nene is excited. 

“Mfundo, must I teach you how to make boys?” I say. 

Everyone laughs. 

I do have three. 

“Please teach him, khulu. I need a brother”, Saneliso says. 

Nene’s eyes almost pop out of her face. 

I scratch my head. 

“Don’t you enjoy me and you being the only boys around here?” Mfundo says to Liso, saving the situation, I suppose. 

“I do. But another boy would be nice. The girls are out-numbering us.” Liso says.

We just laugh. 

We are now seated at the dining table having dinner. Nene is the one who cooked and shame, I love the girl’s cooking. It’s really great.

“I found a place for the gentlemen camp. It’s in Madrid.” Mfundo says. 

“Will you be able to go? I mean, Nene will give birth any day from now”, I say.

“I might not go. Or I’ll go if Nene and the kids can come with me.” He says. 

I look at Nene. She doesn’t look happy about this. They look like they fought about this.

Koena looks at me. She sees it too.

“But let’s wait for Fikile. She will give us a solid plan to work with.” I say.

Mfundo nods his head. 

“Nene, I’m not sure what you had planned for after you’ve given birth. But you are very welcome to come stay with us. I’m happy to help you with the baby as well as help manage Liso and Mbali”, Koena says. 

I was against this. I don’t need that many people in my house. But, we eventually agreed. I have a slight hope that Nene will go to her mother’s house. She has a mother and sisters.

“Thank you, mama. That would really be great. If it’s okay, I can move in next week. Mfundo works long hours and I’m really struggling with Mbali and Liso, plus the pregnancy”, she says. 

Now I feel bad. 

“You are very welcome. If you need me to stay with you for the rest of the week, I’d be happy with that.” Koena.

“Hai bo! And mina?” I honestly cannot bite my tongue. 

“Mthunzi –

“I think we can move in tonight then”, Mfundo says. 

Ai! I was coming for dinner – not to collect headcount that will fill up my house!

Just like that?!

Nene smiles. 

Koena is the one who offers to wash the dishes. Nene sits with her, chatting away with her. Koena made her sit and relax. 

I’m with Mfundo in his bar. 

“Is everything okay between you and Nene?” I ask him. 

“Yoh timer, we just fight a lot lately”, he says. 

“What’s going on?” Me.

“She thinks I’m cheating on her.” He says.

“Cheating, Mfundo? Already?” Me.

“I’m not cheating, Timer. I’d never cheat on Nene. I’m not that brave. Swati women are not exactly the type you cheat on”, he says.

“So, what’s making her so suspicious?” 

“The late work nights and the fact that I’m not always available to answer her calls. She thinks I’m with another woman and that’s why I can’t take her calls while I’m out at night.” He says. 

I look at him. He really looks stressed.

“This pregnancy has made her so… different”, he says. “Her body and hormones are preparing to bring a human being into this world. There is nothing easy about that. Of course, she’s going to change”, I say. 

“But this is a lot. I’m not coping. I look forward to being away from her!” He says.

“I can relate. Koena was a nightmare after Thingo was born. Then with Zothile, she was so insecure. I was very tempted to start booking myself into hotels and sleeping there. I couldn’t keep fighting with her all the time. At the one doctor’s appointment, the doctor said the baby was stressed. I really just had to deal with it for the remaining months and hope I’d get my wife back after the pregnancy.” I tell him. 

“Was Mbali’s mom like that too?” He asks me. 

I really don’t like talking about my exes. But since he asked…

“I was working most of the time when Sindi was pregnant. I had just started out as a young professional, and I was taking care of you and Kholeka. I never got to be around long enough to see how she was handling the pregnancy. Kholeka lived at home with her parents, and I lived with my parents. So, I couldn’t be there for her pregnancy with you.” 

He nods his head. 

“How was Bontle?” I ask. 

“Bontle has always been crazy. Pregnancy was just a justification for her insanity for nine months. But Mbali is nine now. What is Bontle’s excuse for being crazy now?” 

I laugh!

He is too stressed to even laugh at what he has just said. 

“But what am I supposed to do?” He asks me. 

“Maybe think about working from home for the last weeks of this pregnancy. Maybe when she sees you working, she will see that you are not cheating”, I say. 

“She’s my wife, Timer. I shouldn’t have to convince her that I’m faithful and loyal to her.” 

“You do. We live to do that in marriage. Many men out there have given us a bad name to the extent that more often than not, we are guilty until proven innocent. We just have to show our women that we are the men that are different. Too many people have made different men abnormal.” I tell him.

He downs his whiskey. 

Nene walks into the bar. 

“Mfundo”, she says. 

He looks at her.

“Uhamba nathi to your parents’ house or uyasala?” She asks me.

“What are you asking me, Nene?” Mfundo.

“I’m asking if I should pack for you too? Or sikushayisa umoya?” Nene.

“Nene, you are my family. Why would I want to be apart from you?” 

“It’s a yes or no question.” Nene. 

This is bad.

Mfundo downs his drink.

“Mfundo?!” Nene.

“Do what you want”, he says.

She looks like she wants to cry. 

“Pack for him, Nene. You are all coming”, I say.

She nods her head then leaves. 

I hear sniffing. 

“Mfundo”, me. 

“Timer – 

“You said you wanted to get married. That comes with a wife. A wife is someone you take care of – not just financially, but emotionally too. If she’s fragile, you take extra emotional care of her. Stop this shit!” I say. 

He looks at me.

…

I had told Khanyi to fly back. I drove back because someone had to come back with the car. She insisted on driving back with me. It’s a long drive. I appreciate her for driving back with me, though. 

We have just arrived in the kingdom and it is 2am. Her grandmother’s funeral was dramatic, to say the least. 

Everyone – well, all the Mbatha sisters – blamed Latifah – the Mbatha bride – for their mother’s death. I tried my best to stay away. Rea and I got overalls and we just stayed away from the yelling. Then, Khanyisa brought Rea and I a plate to eat. Kazi was following her with drinks. For whatever reason, Rofhiwa was not at the house that day. I remember Aunt Noni coming out and yelling at Latifah. Latifah tried to reply and a mpama flew through the air from one place to Latifah’s face. 

Reahile and I looked at each other, wondering if we should intervene… because shame, Latifah’s kids were right there, watching their mother getting her ass kicked. Then Khanyi looked at us and said, “Myeke!” 

So, we left it. 

Trust me, we couldn’t swallow the food in peace. It just felt wrong. Then we would look at each other and we couldn’t stop laughing. With bab’Sbo in hospital, the Mbatha sisters were having their way with Latifah. When papa didn’t get involved, we just thought it was bad for her. Then she was told that she should probably go back home until Sibongiseni comes back. She tried to fight, but the sisters were not having it. Aunt Noni, the other sister and their kids even moved back in. But Latifah refused to leave. So, she lives right there with them. It’s a mess. 

“Ngilambe“, Khanyisa says. 

“Really?” I ask her. 

She’s already putting something together on the stove. 

“I’m so glad ubaba is doing better”, she says. 

“Yeah. He was lucky.” 

“Yeah. I wonder who shot him and why that person shot him.” She says.

“Khanyi, when you start thinking like this, I just know your thoughts will lead you to places you shouldn’t be.” 

She looks at me. 

Then she continues cooking and says, “I wonder if Latifah had anything to do with this.”

What does this family have against that poor woman? 

“She has a lot to gain if baba passed away. I must get kazi to talk to baba about putting a will together. Without a will, that witch gets motive to kill him, then she and her brats get everything.” What’s wrong with Khanyi? 

“Khanyi, those brats are your siblings. And Latifah is your father’s wife. You need to stop speaking like this.” I say. 

“I’m so glad you chose me to be your girlfriend. At least I actually love you and I don’t want bad things happening to you. Your naivety would have had you killed by another woman. These days, someone being your wife is not enough for them to not put themselves first”, she says. 

She’s spending too much time with my mom, Banathi’s mom and the church. Why is she speaking like this? 

She serves me a full English breakfast at 2:15am. She eats with me on her own plate. 

“Will we be sleeping in today?” She asks me. 

“We will sleep a bit. But I have to go and check on my petrol stations.” I tell her. 

She nods her head. 

“But you can sleep in. I don’t mind.” I tell her.

“I think I want to go into town today. Maybe some old suburbs or something.” 

“Why?” I ask. Because this is very random. 

“I want to go check out a block of shops that have aged badly. I want to buy a block and kind of revamp it.”

This is different.

I pay attention to her. 

“I want to start my own franchise of grocery stores. But I know I’ll get endorsed by the government if I make it a government project. So, I thought I’d talk to gog’Kea and see if we can’t branch Reahile out to grocery and necessity goods store. Then we will pop them up in failed business areas in old suburbs.” 

One thing about Khanyisa Mbatha is that she is one hell of a businesswoman. Her mind! 

“But, I’m also thinking I could just start my own thing. Own brand and everything”, she says. 

“I could drive with you… maybe even invite my dad. He’s very good with such things. He will help you decide.” I offer. 

“You wouldn’t mind?” 

“Not at all”, I say. 

She smiles at me. 

“I want us to have our own things, you know. Like when I graduate from university, I want us to be comfortable with whatever we decide to do.” She says. 

“I want us to get married after your umemulo.” I say. 

She smiles at me. 

“I’m serious.” Me. 

“Do you think I’m wife material?” She says. 

“What’s that?” I ask. 

“I’m not exactly your stay-at-home wife who just has babies and looks after the house. I want to make money. I want to equally contribute to our wealth.” 

“I don’t expect you to be something you are not. If I wanted a housewife who would be all these things that you are listing, I’d have found someone else. Women like that are not in short supply. But, I want an equal… not a responsibility. And I know I’ve found that in you.” I tell her. 

“You sure?” She asks me. 

“Very sure”, I say. 

…

I left home at 1pm and Khanyisa was still fast asleep. I checked in on my businesses. So far, all is great. I’ve also asked my dad to do this inspection with us. He was actually excited about it. So, I’m going to pick him up at home. He said I must. 

I arrive at my parents’ home and I see that all their cars are here. They are both home. I know Ru is home too because I was chatting with her this morning.

I use my keys to let myself in. 

“Ru”, I greet her as I find her in the kitchen preparing a bowl of grapes and berries for herself.

“Hello. Ujwang?” She greets me. 

“I’m good. Where’s dad?” 

“Upstairs with mom”, she says. 

“He said I must pick him up. Are they busy?” I enquire.

She looks at me weird then says, “Their door is locked.” 

Yoh! Of all days, today they decided to have afternoon sex and love each other more than the ordinary day? 

She then pulls a face and says, “At least you don’t live with them”. 

Ja, she’s right. She’s got it worse.

We make our way to the patio to eat because I know I’ll be here for a while. When that door is locked… ai!

“How’s Khanyi doing after her grandmother passed away?” She asks me. 

“She’s strong. You know Khanyi. But she’s hurting. And I want her to be vulnerable. Grief is uncomfortable, yes, but she has to sit in it and go through it.” I say. 

“She’s very lucky to have you. I want a boyfriend just like you, one day”, she says. 

I laugh at her. Wahlanya this one! 

“So, Tiisetso was here”, she says. 

Okay, that explains the locked door. Also, it still disturbs me that she calls our aunt by name. 

“When?” I ask. 

“Last night. Apparently, Bakang is sick, and she needs money to pay for the medical bills and some surgery he still needs to have.” Ru tells me.

“What did mom say?” I ask. 

“She said she must use the money she stole from her and dad’s company when she was mom’s PA. Tiisetso called her heartless and said if Bakang dies, it’s her fault. Obviously, mom lost it. She went on and on about how selfish Tiisetso is and how mom owes her nothing. Mom says she’s always made questionable decision and it was always mom that had to clean up after her. Even the fact that Tiisetso can’t go to Bakang’s dad for help is proof of how irresponsible and inconsiderate she’s always been. Then Tiisetso hit mom and a fight broke out. Dad stopped the fight and told Tiisetso to leave. Next thing, mom gets hijacked when she left to buy stuff at the shop. I couldn’t hear her and dad talk properly, but somehow, dad figured out that Tiisetso was behind mom’s hijacking and mom got her arrested.” 

Yoh! Ru is saying a lot here.

“Mom was hijacked? Was she hurt?” I ask. 

“The person who hijacked her hit a gun against her head. Someone nice took her to a doctor. Dad had to fetch her there this morning. He’s been angry and making phone calls all day shouting at people. He’s like ‘they hit my wife with a gun! Do they have a death wish?‘ Yoh Bane”, Ru says. The way she imitates my dad is actually funny. He does speak like that.

“I need to go see mom”, I say. 

I’m already on my feet and I’m heading upstairs. Ru is right behind me. 

I knock on their door. 

“Come in”, my dad says.

I walk in and find my mom lying down. She’s lying on my dad’s chest. She has a plaster on the side of her head.

“Who did this to you?” I ask her. 

“Bane, I’m fine.” My mom. 

“Why didn’t you guys tell me she was hijacked?” I ask.

“We didn’t want you to panic.” My mom says.

“You are my mother!” I remind her. 

“Bane, sit down, monna.” My dad. 

I sit on the occasional chair that’s in here. 

“Your mom was hijacked. We should have told you. We apologize. We panicked and just wanted to make sure that she’s okay.” My dad explains. 

I nod my head. Then I say, “How are you feeling now? And where’s your car?” 

“I’ll be fine. The doctor says I’m okay. The car is in the garage.” My mom says.

“And Tiisetso? Is she going to be a problem?” This is the first time that I call her by name, and they are shocked.

“KHABANE!” My mom.

“We are dealing with it.” My dad. 

Ja neh…

“Papa, if you can’t make our appointment, it’s okay.” I say. 

“No, we are going. I need to get out of the house.” My mom says. 

“Are you sure? Khanyi will understand.” I say. 

“We are sure. Ibile papa wa hao has made appointments with the owners of those properties that Khanyisa has an interest in.” My mom. 

“Well then, in that case…” 

They get up and get ready for the viewing. 

What the hell is Tiisetso’s issue? 

This is not over! 

…

We walk into our house. It’s been a long day. We’ve just come from seeing Sibongiseni in hospital. He’s in rehab. The rehab is aggressive, but it’s doing the job. Fikile had to tell him that their mother passed away. He didn’t take it well at all. I’m proud of her for not sharing her “Latifah killed their mother” theory with him. I appreciate her EQ of realizing that this wasn’t the time nor the place to have that conversation with him. 

Mthunzi, Mfundo and I have been managing NIR without her as she took leave. We completely understand and would love to give her space to grieve and heal. But her division is difficult, and she manages it too well. We can feel her absence when she’s not at the office. 

“Love”, I say to her as we walk into our bedroom. The boys are at Mthunzi’s house. Mthunzi says he’s coming to drop them off because he and Mfundo want to chat to Fikile and I.

“Yes baby?” She answers me.

“Are you alright?” I ask her. 

“Yeah. I just want to take a nice long bath, then pass out.” She says. 

I smile at her. 

“Can I join you in that bath?” I ask. 

“Always.” She says, smiling slyly at me. 

“Maybe after Mthunzi and Mfundo leave?” Me.

“What do they want to talk about, vele?” She asks me. 

“They didn’t say. I’m just as curious”, I say. 

“Is it that camp for the players?” She asks me. 

“I don’t think so. We’ve all approved it already – after jumping Mfundo’s damn hoops”, I say.

She laughs.

“Okay, we will wait for them.” She says.

She changes from her sneakers to her sleepers. 

“I think Noni and Neli must come by this weekend so we can clean the cottage and sort my mom’s things. Sbo is getting his weekend out of the facility as well, so it makes sense.” She says.

I nod my head. I agree with her.

“And Latifah?” I ask. 

“I’ll leave her to Noni and Neli”, she says without a care in the world. 

Eish, this is rough. But, maybe Sbo will be able to manage his sisters and protect his wife. By the way, he doesn’t know the theory between the sisters. And if he learns it viciously through the sisters, it’s over for Latifah. 

I genuinely feel for her. She was overcome by panic. That’s my theory. I mean, Fikile panics and phones everyone who could possibly be with me if I don’t return her missed calls within thirty minutes. Okay, Latifah should have probably phoned the Mbatha sisters instead of the mother. She made a bad judgment call in a state of panic. It’s a bit unfair to say she killed the old lady. Plus, she was old shame. And she’s been checked out of life since her husband kicked the bucket. I can completely relate. When Lydia died, I definitely checked out of life. I didn’t even believe I could be revived. I slept with different women – sure. But none of them revived me or made me want to love and move on with life. All they did was take care of a temporary erection. And then my Mrs R smiled at me one day at Eastgate. For the first time ever, I felt like someone flicked my heart and caused it to beat again. Fikile’s mother was not so lucky. Her heart broke the day her husband died, and she never even wanted it to be fix. Hearing that Sibongiseni was gone or could potentially be gone… what was left of her heart saw its end. I believe she’s at peace now… happy to be reconnected to her love. People will like me will have issues when we die. I loved Lydia and I love the hell out of Fikile. In the afterlife, I don’t know who I’d find peace with if Fikile and Lydia fought for me. They are both quite strong and they’ll probably box each other for me. Maybe in the afterlife, I’ll have a polygamous marriage. I laugh to myself just thinking about it. 

“PAPA!” I hear feet, chaos and yelling. Clearly, my sons are home. 

“KAZI!” They yell for their mother. 

“Hello my boys!” Fikile says, kneeling down to receive them into a huge hug. 

I actually take a picture of this moment. She’s holding them a lot longer and a lot tighter. 

“How are you my handsome babies?” Fikile asks them. 

“We are good.” The three of them say. 

Ranwedzi seems to understand why this is happening. He’s older than these two and he definitely views himself as the big brother. Gundo’s attention span has depleted. He’s not in this anymore. Rendani will take any excuse to be close to my wife. He thinks we share her. 

“I missed you guys so much. I love you guys so much”, Fikile is really not okay.

“Come, tell me about your day”, she says as she pulls them to sit on our couch in here. 

“Uhm, mama… Uncle Mthunzi and Bhut’Mfundo are downstairs waiting for you and dad”, Ranwedzi says. He’s the only one who calls Fikile ‘mama’.

She sighs.

“Come, my love. We will all catch up after our meeting”, I say. 

She’s not happy. 

Fikile has just served us a cheese tray and whiskey. She’s having wine. 

“Thank you for babysitting my boys. I appreciate this”, Fikile says. She’s also already thanked Koena.

“You are most welcome”, Mthunzi says.

“So, what’s up?” Fikile gets to it.

Mfundo begins, “Our financial services pillar is doing really well.”

“And congratulations to and Mthunzi you for that. The board is very happy”, Fikile. 

Mthunzi and I clink our glasses with Mfundo’s glass. The boy has done great.

“Our CSI has also picked up really well. I believe our hospital is even becoming a hospital of choice not only for the homelands, but people travel from townships to get help there too.” Mfundo. 

This is quite a pitch. What does he want?

“I’d like us to think about growing a bit more”, he says. 

“Growing?” Me. 

“Yeah. I know our next plan was a construction pillar. But now that we’ve bought into Ramaru Holdings, we have a stake in construction. It may not be a hundred percent, but we’ve diversified that way. I’d like to see how we can open up the financial services scope, branching into banking.” He says. 

“Banking?!” The three of us say in shock. Even Mthunzi didn’t know about this? 

“Yeah. Why not? At this point, we have the financial weight to do it. We have the necessary skillset to see it through and we will be diversifying our portfolio a lot more.” He says. 

He hands us all files. 

This kid came prepared. 

“Let’s maybe go into Thomas’ boardroom upstairs?” Fikile suggests. 

Mfundo and Mthunzi are already on their feet. 

Fikile leads us to the boardroom. 

We spend about four hours in here. Fikile kept dipping out to attend to the boys. She bathed them and put them to sleep. Shame, and she really wanted to spend time with them today. But Mfundo is here showing us numbers, projections, budgets, action plans with budgets next to them. He even shows us the completed documents required to open a bank. It will be called NBR: Next Banking Revolution. 

After the four hours, he stops talking and answering our questions, then he looks at us, keen to hear out input. 

It’s safe to say that we are all scared. But we are all also getting a kick out of the thrill that this will come with. After careful and extensive deliberation, we agree. Mfundo is happy. 

“But Mfundo, this is happening after your baby is born. Nene needs you and it’s okay to take time off and just focus on her right now”, Fikile says. 

Mthunzi and I look at each other. We kinda need him. 

“You are not less of a beast if you take time out for your family. Don’t let work become you. You’ve already achieved your target. You are the youngest CEO of a JSE-listed company, a multinational corporation, and you are only going to achieve more. We all know that it may have come at the expense of your family. So, with immediate effect, Mfundo, you are on paternity leave. You’ve done the work. Rest now. Be with them. Be a dad. Be a husband.” Fikile says. 

Koena probably spoke to her. Mthunzi did mention that things are bit tense between Mfundo and Nene right now. 

Mfundo gets up and hugs Fikile. 

“Ngiyabonga, babekazi.” Mfundo says. 

“Just name your daughter Fikile, neh“, Fikile says, and we all laugh. 

In other news, we are about to be bank owners! 

…