We’ve been staying in this apartment for a month now. That means, our fathers have been behind bars for a month. It’s been a month since negotiations to get them out had started. 

And I truly miss my boyfriend.

Wehweh is the last person to shower always because she’s such a nompompi. We are in the heap of ‘on the run’ and she has a bag full of wigs and makeup. Mnqobi does like these nompompis. Even Lindiwe was a glam queen… but my girl Wehweh is the better hit. *wink* 

These kids are super energetic and busy in this small space. I’m feeling a bit down today. 

I miss Khanya. 

“You good?” Khanyi asks me.

“I miss Khanya”, I tell her.

“When last did you speak to him?”

“The day bo papa go arrested. I want to phone him, but…”

“Ruri, you need to tell him about the church.” She says.

“How, Khanyi?! How am I supposed to do that?” 

“You have to find a way, Ru. Le mpilo le… how are you going to keep living this life and not him being in on it? If you were in his shoes, what would you be thinking right now?”

She has a point. 

“Ru, he deserves an opportunity to decide whether he wants to be part of this or not. This life is too messed up for you to not give someone an opportunity to decide if he wants to be part of it or not.” 

I hate that she’s making sense. 

“And then what?! I tell him and then what happens? Do I just expect him to understand every time that something happens and I cannot explain it to him? Or do I expect him to join the church?”

“That is a decision that only the two of you can take together once you’ve explained everything to him.” 

“What happens if he dumps me?”

I’m actually scared that he will.

“It’s a risk you have to be willing to take, babe.” 

We hear someone trying to break into the house. Wehweh and Mapho get the kids to the bedroom and make them keep quiet. 

My palms are sweating and I can see the fear in Khanyi’s eyes as she holds on tightly to a knife.

The door opens.

RELIEF! 

“Nishup?” Ntuthuko asks us. 

He and Tamia moved to Cape Town. They’ve been untouched by all of this. But I also understand that he has been training in Sinaloa. He is the next pope after papa Khotso. Papa Khotso chose him himself. And I can actually see it. 

We nod our heads.

He’s with Mohale. Mohale lives in the United States with his man and that Vanessa gold-digging bitch! He works with the church from that side. I’m so happy to see them… so is Khanyi, because we both sprint to hug them. 

Mapho and Wehweh come out. They’ve never met Ntuthuko and Mohale, so we introduce them. 

“There’s a car downstairs ready to take the kids. Tamia is in there. They are going to Cape Town and that’s where they will be until everything is settled. Tholoana Kingdom is absolute chaos right now. No one is safe… especially the kids.” Ntuthuko.

“Will Tamia manage on her own? Maybe one of us should go with…” Khanyi.

“Mam’Fifi and Akwande are with Tamia. They’ll be fine. We need to get to the hospital. Khabane has been shot.” 

Khanyi is ready to faint. He’s my brother and I’m just as hurt, but Khanyi will die if Khabane doesn’t make it. She’s literally frozen. So I’m the one who asks, “is he…??”

“He’s in surgery at the moment. We are hoping for the best. So let’s go.” Mohale. 

Khanyi is still frozen by the time we leave the flat. But at least she cries when we get into the car that Ntuthuko and Mohale have come to fetch us in. We said goodbye to the kids as they went into a luxury travel vehicle with Tamia and Aunt Fifi, then we went into a Quantum. Ntuthuko is even wearing a spottie, tracksuit and black All-Stars as if he’s one of the taxi drivers. Mohale is dressed the same and he looks weird. Mohale is the Italian suits guy. I can just imagine the debate that happened between him and Ntuthuko as Ntuthuko was telling him to dress like this. Ntate Zithulele and my dad are at the backseat also dressed like taxi drivers and I’m so relieved to see them. Wehweh is also quite happy to see her father-in-law. I’m cuddled in my father’s arms right now. We are both very worried. 

We stop at the prison that our fathers are arrested at. No one leaves the car. We all sit in silence for a good thirty minutes, listening to Khanyi sob as if Khabane is already dead… I’m just here soothing her back and praying to God that my brother does not die. My parents will not make it. Also, the protesting that is happening out here is wild… 

We don’t even see anyone approach our car, but we hear a door open then Aunt Phuthi climbs in with Uncle Khotso and Uncle Ona. 

Again, no one says anything. They don’t even greet us. 

Ntuthuko just takes off. 

We get to the hospital and we walk in. People are too busy to notice us without the fancy clothes or us looking and smelling like money. 

I see my mom arguing with a doctor. She wants to go and see Bane, but the doctor is saying only his spouse can go in at this point. Khanyi just walks into the ward… she hasn’t said a word since the news of Khabane’s shooting came to our ears. This leaves us all gobsmacked. 

“Is she his wife?” The doctor enquires. 

My mom nods her head… but it’s a sad nod, as if realising that no matter what she’s feeling, Khanyi is feeling ten times worse. 

We are all in the waiting area now. Mnqobi is cuddling with his nompompi. She’s shaking life a leaf. But she looks so gorgeous. Mapho and Rea are also together. They are standing though. Mapho is in Rea’s arms and Rea is holding onto her as if saying, “this could’ve been us.” 

Our parents are displaying just as much PDA and I’m realising that I need to speak to my boyfriend. 

We keep expecting Khanyi to walk out and tell us what’s going on, but nothing….

Then we see Wehweh stand up in shock and fear. 

Hai bo! 

“NOMAWETHU RADEBE!” A man roars!

“Baba… what are you doing here?”

Oh shit! 

“YAZ I THOUGHT AND HOPED THAT WANDILE WAS LYING! THUGS, NOMAWETHU?! THUGS?!”

Wandile is a bitch! 

“Baba ngiyakucela. Yehlisa umoya sikhulume.” 

“NGIYEHLISE UMOYA?! I HAVE ALREADY PHONED YOUR MOTHER. WE BOTH AGREE THAT YOU ARE DONE WITH THIS PLACE! YOU ARE GOING BACK TO PRETORIA! YOU CAN GO STUDY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF PRETORIA.”

“Baba, please.” 

“NOMAWETHU! DON’T MAKE ME DRAG YOU OUT OF HERE KICKING AND SCREAMING!”

Mnqobi stands up. 

Wetsang?! For what reason is he doing this?! Like why?!

“UPHAKAMELA MINA WENA MFANA?! USHILO UWANDILE UKUTHI UDELELA UKUFA! I’M TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER! AND THERE’S NOT ONE OF YOU THAT WILL INTERFERE WITH THIS!”

Uncle Zithulele just pulls Mnqobi back. Wehweh’s dad pulls Wehweh out and they leave the hospital. Ja neh.

…

Bane is still in ICU. Everyone woke up and went to the me hospital today. We are all staying at the royal house and no one is talking about how our fathers are out of prison. 

As everyone left for the hospital, I left for Khanya’s office.

“Mr B… Ruri is here to see you.”

My boss’ PA lets me know. 

I’m confused, relieved and angry at that statement. 

Ruri walks in. 

We stare at each other. 

“Ngiyabonga, Charity”, I say.

The PA nods her head. 

Ruri steps aside so Charity could leave. As soon as Charity has left, Ruri closes the door.

She looks..

I don’t know…

Unkept. 

I’ve never seen her like this before. 

“Hey”, she greets me.

I look at her and not say anything. I’m still sitting in my office chair.

“Ngicela i-hug. Please.” She says. 

The audacity!

“Ruri, ungazong’dakela yezwa! Uphuma lapho uphuma khona. I haven’t heard from you in over two months. Uyatheleka nje la assuming that I’m still your boyfriend bese ungifuna ama-hug.”

“Ungilahlile?!”

“Angihambi two months hearing nothing from someone then assuming that she’s still my person.”

She takes a deep sigh, realising that this is not going to be as easy as her just walking in here and everything being okay. 

I’d ask her to sit down, but I won’t.

I’d offer her coffee… she looks like she needs it, but I won’t. 

She looks around my office. I’m not sure what she’s looking for. 

“If you are looking for my new girlfriend, she’s not here.”

“Khanya please.”

I don’t want to feel sorry for her. No!

“Ngicela sikhulume.” She says.

“Khuluma”, I say.

She purses her lips. 

“It’s serious, Khanya.”

I still look at her. 

“I was in hiding”, she says.

I still look at her.

“My family and I… were in hiding.”

I still look at her. Then I decide to make things easy for her and say, “Let me guess… the church?!”

She’s shocked! 

At what exactly?! My knowledge of the fact that her entire family and their associates are world-class criminals?

“My mom told me about it. Tholoana even told me about it. The part that I don’t understand is why I never heard it from you.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“But you knew how to disappear on me and expect me to understand something you’ve never explained to me.”

Now she’s shaking and playing with her fingers. She’s nervous. She gets like this when she’s nervous.

“Ruri, do you not trust me?!” I hate that her name is so cute. No matter how angry you are, you can’t annunciate it with an angry tone. 

“I do… I just didn’t want you to view me differently.”

“Until when, Ruri?! Huh?! Until you get killed then I find out somewhere in your obituary?”

Now she folds her arms in a hugging position as if comforting herself. 

Now I get up from my chair, walk towards her and give her that hug she asked me for. She starts crying. Why? Why is she crying? 

“I wanted to tell you. I just genuinely didn’t know how to tell you.” She keeps saying in her sobs. 

“I’m so tired, Khanya. I just want to be with you. If you want me to run away with you and never look back, I’ll do it. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. But I don’t want to lose you. Please!”

Now I’m getting emotional. 

“Khanya, tell me what to do. Please.”

Also, I’m at work hey. This is extremely uncomfortable.

“Lalela… thula ungasakhali. We will fix this.” I say as I try to calm her down. 

She’s just inconsolable. 

“Ru, please… just calm down. Let me finish up my day then we can meet up at home, okay?”

“You’ll allow me to go to your place?” She asks me, shocked. 

“Ku kwakho laphaya. You are the one who decided to leave.”

A tear streams down the side of her face. 

I brush her lips with mine. 

“Go home. Get comfortable and get some rest. Don’t let my mom get to you. She’s there with my granny and Khosini. When I get home later, we will talk a bit more, okay?”

She nods her head. 

“I don’t want us to break up.” She says.

I nod my head at her. 

She nods her head.

I give her the house keys then she leaves.

…

9pm

I’ve just got home. I swear I aimed to leave the office a lot earlier… like at 4pm when the entire admin department leaves, but the work was just a lot. Plus, I’m the most senior person in my team – outside of my boss – so my boss relies heavily on me on a lot of things that go to the board. I report into an executive head of department.

“Intombi yakho is here”, Khosini. 

“I know.” Me. 

“I thought you guys broke up”, my granny. 

“What gave you that thought?” Me. 

“For someone who was always here, kade nje sam’gcina.” My mom. 

I’m not in the mood for this. 

“Goodnight”, I say, heading upstairs. 

“You not eating?” Mom. 

“No!” Me. 

“Why not? A man cannot live on sex alone.” 

You know what?!!!! 

I walk into my bedroom and I find her passed out on the occasional couch in here. You can just tell that she was waiting up for me. She’s so beautiful. So peaceful. To think that I cheated on her. I thought we were done. And I feel like shit. 

She looks a lot better than what she was earlier on. She looks and smells like she took a shower. She even undid those cornrows she had that looked fifty years old. Her hair is tied back. She’s wearing one of my t-shirts that she likes sleeping in. 

I put my laptop bag down, undress myself then head into the shower. I’ll wake her up when I’m done with the shower. 

As I shower, I’m debating with myself if I should come clean about what happened with Thendo. I cheated. I fucked her, but it meant nothing. A part of me wants to remain silent. But there’s a good part of me that just knows that Thendo will open her mouth. I could lose her either way. And Thendo will not stop phoning me. Yoh! Ngaze ngaphathwa isisu.

I walk back into my room with my towel wrapped around my lower body. She wakes up. 

“Hey.” She acknowledges me.

I smile at her. 

She gets up and hugs me.

We start kissing. She drops my towel. 

It just comes out like vomit, “I cheated on you.”

She stops kissing me.

I don’t look at her. If I look at her, I’ll lose my nerve then not tell her everything.

“I slept with Thendo.” I say.

I’m still not looking at her.

She’s stopped touching me. 

“I’m sorry”, I say.

Now I look at her.

She’s shit angry. She even has tears in her eyes.

“So you waited over a year to have sex with me, but you couldn’t stay faithful to me for two months?”

I’m just going to stand here and take whatever she has to dish. I won’t say anything. 

Also, I’m butt naked now. 

“Uyinja yezwa! You are fucken dog! Your talk about wanting to be different from your dad… bullshit! You are exactly like him!” 

Now that really hurts me! It cuts me deep and she sees it. 

“Fuck you, Khanya! Fuck you!”

She attempts to leave but I hold her wrist just in time… “please don’t go. Ngiyakucela. Just let me get dressed then we can talk. Please.”

She sits on the bed with her arms folded… 

I get dressed.

She’s shaking.

Now, she’s crying. She just bursts into tears and her cry makes my heart ache in a way I never thought my heart could ache. 

“Why, Khanya? Why?!”

Now I sit next to her. I hold her hand. She lets me. I hold her back. She lets me. I pull her towards me. She just cries. For whatever reason, I find myself crying with her. 

I’m woken up by a knock on my bedroom door. I open one eye… the left eye. Ruri is still passed out on my chest. We passed out in this position last night. We didn’t even talk. We just cried throughout the night. 

“Khanya”, my mom says as she knocks again on my bedroom door. We have a fleece blanket covering us, so I say, “Come in”.

The door opens. 

She comes in slowly as if giving us time to be decent. Lol! 

“I made breakfast”, she says.

“Okay.”

“Are you coming to eat?”

“I just woke up. Can I please just get my bearings first before I start answering your questions?”

“Won’t you be late for work?”

“I’m working from home today. I’ll be fine.”

She nods her head and looks at us with concern. This one… she probably had her ear on my door last night and she eavesdropped on my entire conversation with Ru.

“Will you guys be okay?” She finally asks me.

“Mah, please! Please!”

“Ngiyabuza. Nixabane kabuhlungu izolo. I’m worried.”

“You don’t even like her. You’d be the happiest if we broke up.” 

“Khanya!”

“Mah! Goodbye. Please.”

She leaves my room. 

I wake Ruri up then get our day started. 

I’m working from home, so I’m pretty much aware of everything that’s going on. I can even hear the conversations taking place. I normally wear headphones when I work in my office because it’s very distracting to listen in on conversations as my office is downstairs where activity takes place during the day. But today, I need to listen to everything going on… especially with Ruri. I don’t know how she’s feeling. She cried a lot and all, but I still need to know how she’s feeling. 

I’m in meetings most of the day. Ruri has been upstairs. My mom was supposed to go to town today, but I can also see that she’s also waiting for Ruri. Khosini left at ungodly hours this morning. That boy needs to cut his umbilical chord. How can he leave on the morning of the day he’s supposed to be at work? I don’t understand. He comes every weekend and performs this madness. I’m grateful that he helps me look after our mother though. He’s now taken over with the pocket money. He gives my mom and granny an allowance every month then he also pays their clothing store and furniture store accounts. Tholoana helps me with groceries then he’s their designated driver to wherever they want to go if he’s available. Else, my mom just drives them around. She can drive anyway. Tholoana also helps with the allowance and clothing store and furniture store accounts. He (with me) also looks after my mom’s father who is in KZN… old and living with a young hun. Trust me, we didn’t want to know either. My mom wrote him off, but the old man is our living ancestor. We couldn’t just leave him like that. 

Ruri finally comes downstairs. She is out here wearing leggings and a baggy t-shirt. She even has sneakers on. She has a handbag with her. I think she’s heading out. 

“Sawubona Ruri”, my mom. I really hope she’s not going to start shit.

“Sawubona ma kaKhanya.” 

“Ukahle?” My mom.

Ruri nods her head. 

“I made breakfast. I was hoping you’d eat and have some coffee with me.” 

“Ngiyabonga”, Ruri says. 

Okay, this is going well. 

They both sit at the dining table and start eating – after dishing up for themselves. My mom likes making breakfast the buffet style way. 

“Ruri, Khanya is nothing like his father.” My mom says. 

I knew it! She eavesdropped on our conversation! 

Even Ruri is shocked.

“I’ll never like you, Ruri. But I know that you make my son happy. I can never unsee a spoiled brat that doesn’t deserve my son when I see you. And nothing would make me happier than the two of you separating… but not like this… not because you think he’s exactly like his father. He’s nothing like Nathi. No one stays with a man like Nathi and comes out sane. Look at me… do I look okay to you? Everything that could be broken inside of me is broken. Everything. I’ll probably never heal from the trauma that Nathi put me through and I’ll never get over the guilt that I have for exposing my children to that.” 

Where is this conversation going? 

“A part of me wants to tell you that if uzophilela ukulahla indoda for cheating, you are going to leave every relationship you’ll find yourself in. But there’s a part of me that also wants to tell you that you contributed to this.”

“I know”, Ruri says.

I was about to get up and go defend her because she cannot be blamed for my shit. So this response blows me away. My mom seems blown away too.

“You don’t leave a man for two months, Ruri. No phone calls… no messages… nothing! You wanted him to wait on what exactly?”

Silence. 

“Are you going to break up with him?” My mom asks her.

“I won’t be bullied out of my relationship by some hoodrat. I’m not shocked that Thendo did something like this. Yena and her bestie, Bridgette, do this nonsense for a living. I’m just shocked that Khanya fell for her nonsense. But it’s fine. I’ll get over it. I spoke to my mother and, I’ll bounce back.”

“You spoke to Teboho? Why?”

“She’s my mother. And I trust her.”

“But how will she, your brother and your father now treat my son?”

“You actually worry about that considering how you treat me?”

I laugh under my breath. I’m as worried as she is, but Ruri’s response is very warranted. My mom is even shocked. She now has nothing left to say.

“I have to go. I’ll probably see you later.” Ruri says, getting up from her chair.

She comes into my study. 

I look at her.

“I’m stepping out neh.” She says.

“Uyaphi?”

“Get my hair done, get some clothes at home then go see Khabane in hospital. He still hasn’t woken up.”

“Khabane is in hospital?”

“Yeah. He got shot. He had surgery and he still hasn’t  woken up.”

I get up and hug her. 

“I’ll see you later”, she says.

“You can use my car.”

“You not going anywhere?”

I shake my head. 

“Thank you.”

“When I’m done here, I’ll use a private taxi to come to the hospital and be with you.”

She nods her head.

I kiss her.

She kisses me back. It’s cold, but it’s a kiss. 

I give her my car keys. She leaves.