Today, the Maphumulo family is coming over to make right what the Twalas did wrong by paying lobola for me. Now that Senzi’s surname has officially changed, we can proceed with our traditional part of the wedding. I’m most surprised by how open-minded Senzi is to cultural practices. He is a church boy through and through – hell, a whole senior pastor. There’s a part of me that’s also not shocked because every time I’ve had to tell him about cultural things that I had to do, he was never against it. He was always supportive. But ja, Bab’Shaka is not playing games. He also wants the membeso to happen today, so that’s also happening. 

I’m at my dad’s house because all of these things have to happen here. My mom and Bab’Khotso stayed at a hotel last night. The Maphumulo family is arriving at 6:30am, so I see my mom, Bab’Khotso, Rena and Mo arrive now at 6am. My girls are also here – they slept over from yesterday already. I was never going to do this without them so hey… Mam’Thandeka, Khanya and Khosini are also already here. The house is vibey nje already. My dad’s arranged wife is also here. Well, she lives here. The Buthelezi family got my dad married to someone my age who happens to be from a royal family. Ku-interesting shame. But I try not to give her a hard time, so we are cool. I’ll probably never see a mother in her, but hey, I don’t have to be a bitch. Khanya is forever making jokes about sleeping with our dad’s wife. They used to be funny, but now they make me uncomfortable. Khosini is just mad at the world – as usual. 

No one knows that I’m pregnant. Just my mom, Bab’Khotso, Rena, Mo and Khanya. I haven’t even told my friends. Khanya knows everything. I could safely say that he’s my best friend. He promised not to tell our dad and I trust him. 

“What is this one doing in my house?” My dad says to my mom about Bab’Khotso. He is being so unnecessary.

“He’s here to support uWandisa. I don’t see what the issue is.” My mom.

“He is not Wandisa’s father. I am.” My dad.

“UThandeka is not Wandisa’s mother, neither is your wife whom I’ve never met but has been more than comfortable around my daughter. But do you see me get all unnecessary?” 

“Maphuthi, kukwami la!”

“Nami nginayo indlu yami. And I can just as easily move lo mcimbi to my house. Sesiyahlonipha nje, sihlonipha oButhelezi who don’t even deserve the respect. Awu kahle nge-drama!”

“Maphuthi!”

“Baba, yini manje?” I intervene. 

He looks at me.

“Hey mom. Bab’Khotso, hey.” I say hugging them.

“Akayena ubaba wakho lo muntu”, he says. 

“He is. He’s mom’s partner and I’m not going to disregard him just because you don’t like him. Hai bo.” I say.

We are saved by the cars beginning to park at the gate. 

Yoh!

–

The rectifying of issues meeting is actually done quite quickly. Before I know it, there is even slaughtering that is happening to seal the deal. The mqombothi does what it didn’t do when Senzi came here as a Twala… it brews. It overflows and we know that all is amazing – livumile icamaku! 

Now I’m dressed in my isiZulu outfit – without the isiqholo. The isiqholo will be given to me by the Maphumulo family to show that I am their bride and that their Senzi is the one who has made me a wife. Isiqholo is only worn by wives. 

The membeso goes very well. Senzi gifted everyone in my family – Mam’Thandeka included. He even gifted my dad’s new wife, which honestly warmed my dad’s heart. But my dad got hella mad when he gifted Rena, Mo and Bab’Khotso. But he will get over it. He has to. I’m just glad that he didn’t cause a scene. 

After this, we have lunch. Senzi and I have to go around and thank people for coming. Most people really just want to take photos. We take the photos and mingle with people. Ntuthuko is actually here with Tamia, and they really look amazing together. I honestly love to see it. Senzi and I sit with them because Tamia is the one person who had the sense to organise us plates. But there’s no space at their table for us to sit. So, Tamia gives up her chair and sits on Ntuthuko’s lap. Senzi sits on her chair after saying thank you, then I sit on his lap, and we start eating. 

“You look gorgeous, makoti.” Tamia says. 

“Thank you, babe. And I love what I’m seeing here – you and bhuti. Will I be getting my thank you flowers anytime soon?” Me.

The guys laugh and Tamia blushes. Then she says, “I’ll definitely make it up to you. Trust.” 

I keep eating my food and smile at them.

“Will you be at the umabo and umbondo next week?” I ask Tamia.

“If Ntuthuko asks me to come with him as his date, I’ll come by.” Tamia says.

“What if I just invite you? I mean… you are my friend, right?” Me. 

“Of course. Then I’ll be there”, Tamia.

“As her friend and as my date”, Ntuthuko says.

Senzi and I look at each other. We smile at each other and we continue to eat. 

The rest of the Tholoana Kingdom gang shows up, led by Reahile. 

“Apparently, we are all heading back to the kingdom in a few minutes… le makoti.” Rea says.

“Really? As in a few minutes?” Me.

“Your dad is turning shit up. Everyone just wants to get the fuck out of here”, Rea.

I’m actually annoyed. 

“Ey, are you all ready to go?” Bab’Shaka asks us.

“Bhuti, uvaya nathi?” Senzi asks Ntuthuko.

“Yeah. Tamia and I are all packed. We will be driving in Tamia’s car.” Ntuthuko says.

“I drove down with pops. Can we catch a ride with you then?” Senzi.

“Even better. Let’s bounce.” Ntuthuko. 

“I need to get my bags.” I say.

“We can help, babe”, Khanyisa says.

I head into the house with Khanyisa, Nandi and my girls. 

Before I leave, I have elders I’ve never even met in my life telling me how to be a good wife. I sit here and listen while my friends pack my bags for me into Tamia’s car. Ntuthuko’s car is in the kingdom, he flew here so they are mobile with Tamia’s car/s. This talk takes about an hour and a half, then I’m finally released. My dad’s new wife, Siyanda, is the one who walks me out. She gifts me a grass mat, umkhonto and some beads. My dad is waiting for us at the gate. When we stand next to him, he gives me a hug, wishing me well… then he tells me how proud he is of me and that I must look after myself. 

Senzi finally comes to us. He takes my hand. I’m sang off to the Maphumulo family. I get into Tamia’s Mercedes Benz GLC Coupe, sitting at the back with her. Senzi is in the passenger seat and Ntuthuko is driving. He leads the way, hooting as he does this. He has the makoti in his car. I feel like I haven’t seen my friends properly all day today. 

–

The next week, umabo 

The umabo celebration is just as festive and nice. Today, we are in Tholoana Kingdom at Senzi’s dad’s place. Tamia is sleeping over at my home because she’s just Ntuthuko’s girlfriend and Bab’Shaka doesn’t play those games. But I included her in my squad and she’s been here dancing with us and sitting with me on the grass mat as well as forming part of my squad (Tamia, Morafe and Bassie) that gifted Senzi’s family with very nice gifts. I gifted the three grannies from eMtubatuba – his grandfather’s wives. They were so happy! Wow! And they danced! Yoh, they danced for those gifts. They actually did a full performance for us. I saw Tamia just smile so wide. I’m sure she was like, “this will be me soon”. And shame, I also have hope. 

Then I gifted Mam’Fifi. She was also extremely excited. She also danced for the gifts. I gifted Senzi’s brothers, Akwande and Ntuthuko. Akwande was just very cool about it. Ntuthuko is the one who celebrated and danced for his gifts. I then gifted Bab’Shaka and Lady Laura. Lady Laura was the only person who was not happy. She was just so bitter. She took the gifts and walked off. She didn’t even sit on the chair and allowed my squad to dress her up. She literally just grabbed the blanket and grass mat, then walked away. Bab’Shaka danced though. He was happy. Then I also gifted Luhle. She had Lady Laura’s energy, but wasn’t as bad. Now the time for me to go and hand over the blanket that I am covered with to my mother-in-law arrives. I don’t know which mother to hand the blanket over to. I look at my mom. She gets it. I see her run to Bab’Shaka. Bab’Shaka and his three mothers gather and discuss a bit. He talks to Lady Laura and I see her throw her hand at them, walking away. Mam’Fifi goes to sit on the chair. I look at my mom. She nods her head. 

I start singing. My squad helps me up and they walk me to Mam’Fifi in song. When I get to her, I do a bit of a dance for her then I take off my blanket and put it on her. We smile at each other. She gets up and we dance together. I catch Senzi laughing… he is soooo happy. This day is just so beautiful. So so so stunning. 

The moment finally comes where I now have to confirm to everyone present here that Senzi didn’t steal me. It’s time for me to culturally claim my man before every single person present today, confirming that he is the love of my life and should any cow lay eyes on him, the Maphuthi in me will brew like it never has before. When it comes to my Senzangakhona Maphumulo, the sweet and down-to-earth Wandisa will become a beast you’ve never seen before. So, after I’m asked before every person here whether or not I love Senzi and that I’m consenting to be his wife, I carry my grass mat – singing and dancing in front of everyone as I make my way to the man that has asked me this question. When I finally get to the man, I put the grass mat at his feet. There is ululating and dancing all around. Senzi, Ntuthuko, Akwande, Banathi and Mnqobi stand up from where they are – in amabheshu wabo – and dance for me. It’s actually such a beautiful thing to witness. It’s just a beautiful day. 

People are now directed to go and have lunch in the erected glass tent. I’m taken to a rondavel with Senzi. The whole Maphumulo family is in here. I’m introduced to the Maphumulo ancestors as their bride. Inyongo is now put on my wrists as well as Senzi’s wrists. We are both so happy. We start hearing thunder – standard procedure in this place. Rain nje.

I’m taken into the house to change now into the clothes that the Maphumulos got for me as their new bride. But first, we go into Bab’Shaka’s office where our lawyers are already seated and waiting for us. Bab’Shaka organised for us to come and sign our marriage contract here. I’m so happy. We are married in community of property. Senzi did not want it any other way. Ntuthuko and Tamia are our witnesses. Bab’Shaka and Mam’Fifi  are also our witnesses. 

Tamia appreciates me including her in everything. It’s somehow bringing her closer to her man. Soon, this will be her. 

Now, Mam’Fifi and Luhle are now dressing me up in my bridal attire. Luhle is so sour, so Mam’Fifi and I are chatting and having fun while doing this. I wear my black isidwaba. I wear a white vest-like t-shirt. I wear cow skin around my neck then I put beads on top of it. I wear isiqholo made of pure cow skin. I wear white all-stars. I have beads around my wrists and my ankles. I even know that I look stunning. 

Senzi and I now finally walk into the tent. People are ululating to us walking in as husband and wife. I’m presented as his bride and I’m showing him off as my husband. We even do some dancing when we get to the front. We are very happy. I’d do this over and over and over again. I am Mrs Wandisa Xolile Maphumulo. 

–

I went to sleep at 7pm. I just got sick nje. I found my mom and told her I’m unwell. Bab’Khotso told Bab’Shaka and Mam’Fifi that I need to rest. Mam’Fifi remembered that I’m pregnant. She let me in the house and made up a lie about me having to be indoors by 7pm. They told Senzi that I was feeling a bit sick. So he came in, showered with me, got me into pjs and while trying to put me to sleep, he fell asleep too. My man bakithi.

I woke up this morning around 5am to throw up. I then heard noise in the kitchen, so I quickly showered, got into a decent dress, doek and sandals, then went downstairs to help with breakfast. Luhle and Mam’Fifi were having a go at it.

“Sanibonani”, I interrupt the moment.

Mam’Fifi looks like she has been crying.

“Can I assist with breakfast?” I ask.

Mam’Fifi smiles at me. She instructs me to get the eggs started. I nod my head with a smile and get started. Luhle marches out of the kitchen. I hear Mah take a deep sigh. 

“Mah, are you okay?” I ask her.

“Yaz Wandi, I don’t know anymore when it comes to Luhle. Shaka wants to kick her out permanently. I’m busy fighting in her corner because it’s not right that he writes her off. Kodwa I’ve reached my limit now hey. This girl has eaten at me for years now. I’m just at a point where I’ll let Shaka do whatever he wants because I cannot keep doing this.” She says.

“Mah, if you don’t mind me asking, why does she hate us so much?” I ask.

“She doesn’t hate us. And I try to remind myself every time that it’s not me… it’s not me that she hates… she just has been through a lot and she’s not exactly the strongest person. She used to go to therapy and it helped her a lot. I don’t know why she stopped. And now she’s determined to not go back.” She says.

“Ncesi mah. Don’t let it get to you. Do you know how much Ntuthuko and Senzi adore you? You’ve done nothing wrong, mah. You are an amazing mother. Thina siyakuthanda.” I say.

She smiles at me then says, “Ngiyabonga. I needed to hear that.”

I notice that she’s making porridge as well.

“Why are you making porridge, mah?” I ask her.

“The gogos enjoy their porridge before they dig into the big breakfast”, she explains.

“Oh okay.” 

“Mina ngakotiza eMtubatuba. Mornings are porridge and tea, then the big English breakfast…”

“Am I dressed appropriately, mah?”

“Khululeka Wandi, you are good. Why are you even awake? I thought you’d be tired after yesterday. Plus, it’s still pouring outside. How come you didn’t want to sleep in like everyone else?” 

“Morning sickness. And I also just wanted to help. You guys are the sweetest family any girl could dream to be married into. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness. I also want to feel helpful.” 

She smiles at me then says, “Just know that we don’t have any expectations. Uyingane yethu nawe. If Senzi, Ntuthuko and Akwande can sleep in, so can you. Akuna makoti la”, she says. 

Such a sweetie pie.

“When are you seeing a doctor?” She asks me.

“As soon as we get back to Johannesburg”, I say.

“UShaka tells me that he and Senzi are having conversations about you and Senzi moving this side permanently”, she says.

“Yeah… Senzi and I are also talking about it.” I say.

“How do you feel about it?” She asks me.

“It’s not the worst thing that could happen to me. My mom is here. But I’m also very happy for Senzi and ubaba, you know. Senzi is connecting with all of you and I can see how much you all mean to him. I wouldn’t stand in his way if he wanted to come here. We just have to sort out the logistics of it. Senzi has to get a transfer from work to be based here. I’d have to sell my businesses and start something new here. Then we’d have to decide what we do with the house.” 

“So if all goes well, you’d be open to coming this side?” She says with excitement.

I nod my head with a smile. 

…

Rain in Tholoana Kingdom is just hectic. It rains all the time here. And sometimes, one will assume that it just rains when one is around, but nah… I’d be talking to Ntuthuko over the phone and he’d be telling me how rainy the day is. How big are their water reserves? I wonder if they ever get natural disasters. 

Ntuthuko and I walk into the dining area for breakfast, and we find our dad already seated. Mam’Fifi is dishing up for him. I find that Wandi has already dished up for Akwande, Ntuthuko and I. The grannies are also eating. Apparently, they made Luhle dish up for them. She’s sitting here and she’s sour. 

“Siyabonga makoti ngokusiphatha kahle kangaka”, Ntuthuko says – loudly may I add. We all just giggle at the table. 

“Can I please be excused?” Luhle says, rolling her eyes. 

I don’t know what her issue is. No one ever does anything to her. No one. In fact, most of us prefer to behave like she’s not even here. But yena shame, she always marks her attitude present.

“Cha Luhle. Hlala lapho udle like everyone else.” MaTango says.

“Angilambile, gogo”, Luhle.

“Udle nini, Luhle? If you are full, what are you full on?” MaTango.

“Gogo, I need to head to the airport. I have a standby ticket. So, any plane that has a spot, I have to be on it.” Luhle. 

“I can get you a ticket, Luhle.” I offer.

“Did I ask you?!” She barks at me. 

“Haaa!” Wandi reacts – and not in a nice way. 

“Yini wena? Are you already forgetting your place?” Luhle says to Wandi. 

“Don’t talk to my wife like that! I was just offering. If you don’t want the favour, you just had to say no thank you. You exposing your ill-manners so loudly is very unnecessary”, I tell her.

“Maybe you must go tell that to your mother before you come at me. She just sticks out like a sore thumb everywhere she goes because you seem to forget who your mother is… and for what? For Refiloe?!” Luhle says.

Wandi throws her cutlery on her plate now. I can just feel and see her getting ready to throw hands. 

“First of all, you don’t know the first thing about my mother or my relationship with her, so I’m not sure on what authority you are talking about her on. I’m trying to understand where you get off. I understand that you are probably projecting because you losing your mother will always be a crutch for you, aiding you to disrespect people who have been nothing but good to you because you lack ukubonga… but I’d urge you to grow up a little bit ucale ukubala amagama wakho. Not all of us are going to tolerate your inability to control yourself for years. Get help and deal with your issues because one day, you’ll catch some of us on a bad day and it will not end well.” Wandi is really irritated now and I’d rather it be me who tells Luhle to shut up than Wandi. I’ll be forgiven in this house for fighting with my sibling. My wife will be judged forever. 

The table is silent. 

Luhle is breathing heavily. 

I just stare at her. 

“I want to die”, Luhle says. 

My dad just continues eating his food. He comes off as if he doesn’t give a shit. Mam’Fifi is just unsure about how to be. The grannies stare at Luhle. Ntuthuko just eats his food as well. 

“Maybe when I’m dead, it will be a favour to everyone because none of you care about me. You all want me dead anyway. Without me, this family will be perfect. I’m the black scar in this perfect family that you wish to cover – hopefully even hide from the world. I might as well just die.” Luhle says.

“Yoh, this food is amazing. Can I get seconds, my love?” My dad, blatantly ignoring Luhle. 

“Ai nami ngiyezwa nje, baba. I’m joining you with the second plate.” Ntuthuko. 

“Gogo, kumele ngihambe manje and leave this perfect family alone. Angifunwa la”, Luhle. 

She stands up and leaves the table. 

“She just needs a good beating lo”, MaTango says now that Luhle has disappeared.

“Uzokubophisa. She has rights”, my dad sarcastically says. 

“I told you, wena Shaka! I told you and Kenosi that you were ruining this child! You should’ve let this child live eMtubatuba with us like you did with Nompumelelo and Ntuthuko. You told me stories and said I was being unfair to Kenosi. You told me I must give you and Kenosi space to be her parents.” MaTango is not letting this go. 

“Mama, I know that I messed up. Ntuthuko told me how much I’ve messed up. I see it in Fifi’s eyes every time she has nothing to say about the way that Luhle treats her. I know, mama. But I’m not going to apologise for doing what I thought was best at the time. I’ll apologise for failing Luhle and my family because manje, we can’t even have peace whenever Luhle is around. And I apologise for that. I’d love to do better with the kids that will still give me a chance. But as for Luhle… she has four more months before I completely cut her out of my life.” My dad is a bit extreme in his discipline measures, this I must just highlight. In the bit of time that I’ve known him, he really just goes for the maximum punishment with Luhle. 

“Weh Shaka! Why are you acting like uLuhle uyaqala ukuziphatha ngalendlela? Luhle has always been this way! Always! From when she was a child! She always thought she was too good to do chores. She always thought she was better than everyone else – including her siblings. She was always the exception to the rule. I told you and Kenosi that you are creating an animal out of that child and one day, you will live to regret what you were creating in her. Aph’amanga wami?! Now you don’t like what you have created, you take guns out on her? You take her out of luxury houses in LA and put her in flats. You take her cars away and now she must use busses when she didn’t even use taxis here in Tholoana Kingdom. What do you think will happen?! She will get worse! She will act out! You can’t just become a parent overnight when you’ve been her friend all these years! Awukahle wena!” 

I see Wandi stealing looks at me. I see Mam’Fifi playing with her food, barely looking up. Ntuthuko is just sitting here, ready for the conversation to be over. My dad is genuinely remorseful.

“Shaka, letha uLuhle kulezizandla zami. Ngizom’lungisa ke mina.” MaTango.

“But gogo, you promised me that the holidays would be mine and yours”, Akwande says.

We all smile at him, especially my father.

“Khululeka wena khehla lami. Ngiyoqondisa igwegwe nje kulodadewenu bese mina nawe, si la”, she uses her hands to show that they are tight.

“Ay gogo, Sis’Luhle is always angry and always complaining. She’s going to ruin my holiday at home. I go to Mtubatuba for peace. I’m not going to get that if Sis’Luhle is there. She must just go back to LA.” Akwande says.

Tense! 

MaTango looks at my dad like she wants to slap him now. 

“Woza la, sthandwa sami… Iza kugogo”, MaTango says to Akwande. 

Akwande behaves like a baby and goes to MaTango. 

“What do I always tell you about umndeni, khehla lami?” MaTango.

“I know gogo, kodwa –

“What do I always tell you, khehla lami?”

“Akuna doti for umndeni.” 

MaTango nods her head then says, “Exactly. Udadewenu akathathi kahl’ ekhanda. Kufanele simusize, khehla lami. No one has to be left behind. And wena, khehla lami… igama lakho u-Akwand’impumelelo kwaMaphumulo. Liyasinda lelo gama, khehla lami. Kufanele ukuthi wena uwandise impumelelo kwaMaphumulo – not only for you, but for umdeni wakwaMaphumulo. It is your responsibility to make sure that nobody gets left behind. Nang’uNtuthuko umfowenu. Yin’ intuthuko, baba?” MaTango.

“Progress.” Akwande.

“Eh hhe! For as long as wena uwandisa impumelelo kwaMaphumulo, umfowenu uzokwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi kunentuthuko nalapho kunzima khona. Siqala ngodadewenu, khehla lami.” 

“So, what does Bhut’Senzi get to do?” Akwande says.

I actually feel like laughing. But I’m also annoyed because why am I getting dragged into this?

“He’s already started his job. ULuhle doesn’t dance on his head the way that she does on all of your heads. He helps her and tries with her, kodwa he also draws a very firm line with her. Luhle needs that. Nina bafana bami, nawe makoti wami, I’m asking… ngiyaphaphatha bantabami… don’t give up on Luhle and don’t leave her behind. Your lives are progressing so well. Don’t leave udadewenu behind. Wena makoti, uwena umakoti okuyena yedwa esinaye la ekhaya. Masekufik’ abanye, kuzoba uwena umakoti omdala. Ngiyacela sisi, siphathe kahle wenze nesiqiniseko sokuthi siphathana kahle la ekhaya.” 

I see Wandi nodding her head. But she’s also looking at me like, WTF?!

Akwande dragged us into this for absolutely no reason. 

“We go back home today. Sihamba noLuhle. Give me a year with her.” MaTango says. 

My dad rubs his face like he knows this is going to be war. 

–

My dad and Mam’Fifi have taken the grannies and Luhle back to eMtubatuba. As expected, Luhle protested. But when MaTango whipped out her whip and demanded she runs to the car immediately because she doesn’t negotiate with kids, she went to the car crying nje, then left with them. Now, Ntuthuko is also packing his things. Wandi and I are also packing. We have to head back to Johannesburg tomorrow. 

“I want to go see my girl”, Ntuthuko says. He and Tamia are our daily bread these days.

“Wandi is going kubo to see her mother then fetch Tamia. Asambe naye.” I tell him.

He’s suddenly excited. 

“Akwande, uhamba nathi?” I ask him.

“Yes please, bhuti. I’ll hang out with Rena and Moloko.” He says.

“Okay. Get a jacket ke. It’s raining phandle.” I say.

“Okay bhuti. Ngiyeza.” He says then heads upstairs. He’s very respectful. I’d live with him any day. Even Wandi said that she wouldn’t mind him visiting us during school holidays. He’s very well-mannered. 

After a few minutes, we are locking up and heading out to Wandi’s mom’s house. 

Wandi is sitting at the back with Akwande and they are having a whole conversation. It’s so interesting that Ntuthuko and I actually listen in. 

Wandi: “So, when would you want to start interning for something like that?” 

Akwande: “Well, I’ve done research on coding and computer sciences, and I liked it. But now, I need to be in the day of someone who does that job to see if it’s something I want to do for the rest of my life. So now I have to find a coding person. Banathi’s mom said she’d help me. She doesn’t work anymore, but she knows people in the industry. The people mostly sound like they are in South Africa”. 

Wandi: “That makes sense. Data scientists and analysts are not as many in South Africa. There is a shortage of the skill. So in SA, you’d be shadowing them through the lens of a new career industry all together”. 

Akwande: “Yeah. I asked my dad if I could go to the UK and study there. An international degree would be nice. Plus, I’d get a job there as well as I study.”

Wandi: “What did he say?”

Akwande: “I don’t know. My mom just started crying and saying that she wasn’t ready for me to go so far away. So, my dad asked me what’s wrong with the universities in the kingdom. And there’s nothing wrong. In fact, our universities are rated as one of the best universities in the world. I just –

Now we are all silent and curious for him to finish his sentence. 

Wandi: “You just?”

Akwande: “I hate that I’m the child that was born after Sis’Luhle. She messed up everything. Now everyone treats me like they are fixing their mistakes that they made with her – on me. My parents suffocate me because they have to be extra everything with me. Bhut’Ntuthuko is different with me. He’s funny with everyone else, but to me, he’s like my second dad… my third parent… he also treats me like he’s scared I’m going to mess up. I like going to Mtubatuba because there, gogo lets me explore who I am and understand myself a little better. She lets me be free. What I like about her is that she doesn’t treat me any different from the way that she treats other people. Now that Sis’Luhle is going to impact that too, I just feel like… I wish I were like Bhut’Ntuthuko and Bhut’Senzi who were born before Sis’Luhle came.” 

Ntuthuko and I look at each other.

Akwande continues, “At least in the UK, I’ll be on my own. No one will be suffocating me the whole time. I’ll be able to live. And no offence to Sis’Luhle, but I don’t want to be responsible for her. Not even dad wants her and she’s his kid. I don’t want that responsibility.” 

I see Wandi just hugging him. Ja no, this family has a lot that it’s dealing with. 

The silence is broken by Ntuthuko’s cellphone ringing. Mbali is phoning him. I’ve learned that she is baby-mama number one. He answers through the Bluetooth connection. 

“Hi Mbali”, Ntuthuko.

“Hey, kunjani?” 

“Ngiyaphila. Wena?”

“I’m good. Lalela, my mom passed away this morning.” She says.

“Yoh, sorry san”, Ntuthuko.

“Ngiyabonga. But I’m thinking ukuthi now that she has passed away, kuzofanele ngithole noma ngikhokhele umuntu to stay with the kids. With the work that I do, I won’t be able to live with them here in Hillbrow. They are better off eMtubatuba. My siblings won’t take them. I have an aunt who’s willing, but she wants to get paid. So, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to assist me with that.” Mbali says.

“Yaz Mbali, I’ve been thinking a lot lately… I’ve been thinking of taking Thulisa to come and just live with me.” Ntuthuko.

This has Tamia written all over it.

She’s quiet.

“Hello?” Ntuthuko.

“Why now? What’s changed? You haven’t even paid damages for Thulisa, now you suddenly want to step up and be her parent? For the past twelve years of her life, that was never a concern for you.” 

“Ja well, I’m in a better place now to do it.” Ntuthuko.

“Is it because of that girlfriend of yours who is also making you not pay us support anymore? Suddenly, you can also shop for your own kids and pay schools directly? What exactly did you tell that girl about us? Did you portray us as gold diggers or something? That all we want is your money? Thulisa is your child! These kids are your children, Ntuthuko.” 

“Thulisa is my child. But I know you have a problem with my decision because I was also indirectly supporting your other kids that are not mine. I’d like to take my child. And I’ll pay inhlawulo for it if I must. But maybe this nanny conversation is a conversation you need to have with your other baby-daddies.” 

“Mxm”, she says then hangs up. 

“Was that a yes?” Ntuthuko asks us.

Akwande is the first to burst into laughter, then Wandi and I also laugh.