With everything that’s going on in Tholoana Kingdom right now, we’ve had to leave the Kingdom. Maboko has a few houses in various countries. He took Khabane, myself, his father, Aus’ Lebo and Gwen to his house in South Africa, in a place called Nelspruit. Part of the reason is because he has some of his offices here. He has two of his bottle stores in Tholoana Kingdom that were looted and burned down. Thank God for insurance because that money will pay off in the end. But it is a stressful time. More than six of his father’s businesses went up in flames. The food chain stores were looted first before they set the building alight. So ja, Maboko and Ntate Seete are not in the best of moods. Gwen is not talking to anyone. Khabane is just a child taking in the new house with a massive garden. I actually like this house. I really wouldn’t mind living here permanently. 

“Hey, baby girl”, Aus’ Lebo comes into the living room and finds me sitting here deep within my thoughts. I’ve never known where I stand with her. I know she loved the hell out of Linda, so it’s really awkward for me. 

“Aus’ Lebo, hey.” 

“Can I join you?” 

“Of course.” 

She brings a huge bowl of grapes, bananas and mango with her. Yum. 

“Don’t stress so much. They are businessmen. They can handle such things. They’ll be fine.” 

I smile at her. She is in such high spirits. 

I could be wrong, but I think Lydia’s passing is the best thing that could have happened for her. She’s a lot happier now. She was always so down, and you could rarely spot a smile on her face. Now she’s a chirpy and stress-free forty-something year old who loves running around in the yard and jumping on the trampoline with Khabane. I wonder why she never had kids of her own. She is very young to be ntate’s wife, but I’m sure with the money that she has access to, she can organise some IVF procedures that can make her a mom instantly. She clearly loves kids because her bond with Khabane fascinates Maboko and I. In a small way, it has even brought Maboko and his father closer. I suppose us allowing his wife to be part of Khabane’s life means a lot to him. 

“Why did you never have kids of your own?” The question just slips from my mouth. She seems offended, but she then picks up that I don’t mean any disrespect. 

“I couldn’t”, she says. 

“But there are advanced ways of getting pregnant and –

“No, I couldn’t give Joseph more kids when our marriage was already driving a wedge between him and his existing kids.” 

Now this I didn’t see coming. I’m actually blown away.

“I was twenty-six years old when I met Joe. I knew he was older than me and very married. But I couldn’t help falling in love with him. He has always been an amazing man and I never wanted to change that about him. I never wanted to change how his children viewed him and I certainly didn’t mean to hurt Lydia. But shame, I felt guilty for breaking the family apart for as long as I was with Joe. So, I promised myself that I wouldn’t be that woman that makes it seem as if I wanted my own life with Joe. I wanted Gwen and Maboko to be part of our family. I had bedrooms built and allocated to them in my house that have never been used. I don’t even let my family or friends sleep in those rooms. Then we learned that Khabane is our first grandchild and I made sure he has his own room too. I guess I was so desperate for Joe to not lose his kids that I was not prepared to have more children for him until I was secure that our family didn’t exclude them.” 

“Wow, Aus’ Lebo. That’s… I don’t even know what to say. You are one hell of a woman and trust me, you are their mother whether they acknowledge it or not. This kind of selflessness can only be found in a mother. And I’m so sorry we never honoured the bedrooms that you created. I wish you told me about Khabane’s one, I would have brought him for a visit a long time ago.” 

She laughs and says, “I didn’t even think you liked me”. 

“I just never knew where I stood with you. I know you had a close relationship with Linda. I always thought that because of that, you wouldn’t have room for me.” 

“My concern is my child. And in this case, it’s Maboko. I had to have a relationship with Linda because that was Maboko’s wife. Linda and I became close because she gave me a chance and didn’t instantly reject me. But you are my daughter now. And I’d love to have a relationship with you.” 

I smile at her and hold her hand. Then I say, “Well, I’ll happily have a relationship with you.” 

She seems happy. 

“Joe tells me that you are pregnant. How are you feeling about that?” She seems so giddy as she asks me this, but there is some sincerity though in her tone. I guess I broke any and all boundaries when I asked her why she does not have children. 

“I’m just worried about Khabane”, I tell her. 

“Why, nana?”

“So many changes are just taking place all around him and everything is just moving too fast. For a long time, it was just him and me. Now, there are his grandparents who I don’t get along with – especially my mother, there is the grandmother who passed away, there is his aunt who triggers everyone because she’s constantly triggered, a father he only met at the age of five… and now a baby on the way that we didn’t discuss. I feel like my life is pacing so fast that I may be losing my number one.” I explain. 

Aus’Lebo looks at me with great concern. 

“I’m thinking of having an abortion”, I say. 

“Teboho, stop it. You need to stop this.” 

“Stop what?”

“Have you ever stopped to think about what Maboko is feeling? He missed out on five years of his son’s life. Yes, he cheated on you. But did he really deserve to miss out on his child because your feelings were hurt? Now, you want to rob him off another opportunity to be a father? Again?”

She is making a lot of sense. But I also feel as if she doesn’t understand my deepest fear. 

“Aus’Lebo, Khabane just found his father. What if Maboko loves this other child better than he loves Khabane? What if he’s closer to this child and shuts Khabane out? What if I end up being like my mother by loving one child more than the other? Because I’ll probably end up doing that if I feel I have to over-compensate for Maboko shutting Khabane out when the new baby arrives. He will be there for the new baby from day one, unlike Khabane.” 

“Is that how low you really think of me?” How long has Maboko been standing at the door and how much of this conversation did he hear?

Aus’Lebo and I are now on our feet. We were both caught off guard. Maboko looks so hurt. 

“Babe –

“Teboho, Khabane is my son. That may have meant nothing to you for the first five years of his life. But it means everything to me for the rest of his life, despite your selfish decisions when it comes to our children. What gives you the right to make decisions like this on your own? Is it because you are the one who carries these children? Abortion, Teboho? Abortion?” 

“Maboko, I’m just scared”. 

“When you are scared, you come to me – your husband. You talk to me – your husband. You make decisions with me – your husband!” 

I’m just silent at this point. 

“Teboho, what am I not doing? I keep trying to forgive myself for messing us up. I know I messed you up. I know I drove you to make the decision that you made when it came to Khabane. But I thought we moved on. I thought you forgave me. I’m trying to forgive myself, but every time I come close, you find a way to remind me that I still need to pay for what I did and you use my children to make me pay.” 

“Babe, I have forgiven you. I have. I’m passed what you did, please believe me.” 

“How can I believe you? How?”

“Because Maboko, my kids are paying for my selfishness. I’m the one that I haven’t forgiven. I deprived Khabane of a father for five years and now he and the child will not have the same experience of you. I have to live with that, Maboko. When you’ll be by my side when I give birth, I’ll have to live with the fact that Khabane never had that. When the baby pukes on you or when you change its diaper, I’ll have to live with the fact that Khabane never had that. Whether you mean to or not, you will have a stronger bond with this child and Khabane will feel it. And it’s all my fault, Maboko. I’m the one I’m struggling to live with because of what I did. Your mistake is possibly more fixable than mine. You could divorce Linda and marry me – that fixes it. How do I fix mine? How?!” 

I’m gushing in tears. I let out a loud cry and Aus’Lebo moves around the kitchen as Maboko comes close to me and holds me. He tries to calm me down, but he is tense. 

Aus’Lebo gives me a glass of water. I try to take it, but it slips through my hands and breaks. 

Maboko sits me down. 

“I’ll take care of her, Aus’Lebo. Thank you.” Maboko says. Then I hear Aus’Lebo leave.

After I have cried and calmed down, Maboko is sitting on the coffee table directly opposite the couch that I’m sitting on. He holds my hands. 

“Love, do you believe me when I tell you that I love you?” He asks me. 

I nod my head. 

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes, Maboko. I do believe you when you tell me that you love me.” 

“Okay. Because I do love you. Do you believe me when I tell you that I forgive you for not telling me about Khanane for five years?” 

I shake my head. 

“Why don’t you believe me?” He asks me. 

“Because I wouldn’t forgive me if I were you.” 

“Just like I wouldn’t forgive me for cheating if I were you, but you still forgave me and that’s what helped me to forgive myself.” 

I just cry. 

“Baby, Khabane is my son. My first-born son. There is no way that I could love him any less than anyone else on this earth. No matter the circumstances, it’s because of him that I became a man – even when I didn’t know it. There’s no way, my love, no way that I’d ever look at Khabane and not remember that.” 

This means a lot and I’m just so relieved that he feels this way. 

“And you… baby, you are my world. You are my first and only love. You are the first and only mother of my children. You’ve made me a man in so many ways, even when I let you down in the worst possible way.”

“Maboko, we’ve both done some things that have hurt us in the past… big things. But we found each other again and our family is growing. I just want us to not carry our baggage into our new family and mess up the human beings that we bring into this world. I want us to forgive each other completely and do better – be better people for our children.”

He kisses me. I kiss him back.

He holds my face. Our foreheads touch each other.

“We are doing okay. And we are going to keep getting better. But next time when you feel the way that you’ve been feeling, come to me. Talk to me. I’m not your sex buddy. The rings on our fingers are not fashion accessories. You are my wife. I’m your husband. Life without each other is over. We are all we have. We’ve proven multiple times before that we conquer everything as long as we have each other. We need to continue to stay that way… we are forever, Tebza. Forever.” 

I nod my head and brush my lips against his. 

“Daddy! Mommy! Eeeeuuuuu!!!” Khabane. Ntate must have just brought him back into the house. They were doing something outside together. 

“Close your eyes!” Maboko says and we all laugh. 

“I love you”, Maboko tell me.

“I love you”, I say.

We finally stand up and attend to Khabane, ntate and Aus’Lebo.

“Are you alright?” Aus’Lebo asks me.

“We are good. Thanks, Aus’Lebo.” I say.  

I set up cheeseboards and juice for us, then we start indulging. Ntate, Aus’Lebo, Maboko, Khabane and I are all enjoying these cheeseboards together. 

“Is Gwen going to join us?” Aus’Lebo asks us. 

“Just leave her alone, Aus’Lebo. She’s an adult. If she’s hungry or wants to talk to anyone, she will come downstairs. There’s only one child in this house, Aus’ Lebo, and not even he behaves like this”. Maboko is really over his sister and it’s really painful to watch. 

Khabane is sitting very comfortably on Granny Lebo’s lap. She really is amazing with him. 

“Monna, what are we going to do about Gwen? I’m scared that we are losing her.” Ntate tells Maboko. 

Maboko doesn’t say anything. 

“Maboko?” 

“Timer, I don’t have room for Gwen on my plate right now. I’m in the process of saving my businesses. I’m experiencing a huge hit in my businesses because of the political and economic sphere of Tholoana Kingdom. I’m looking after my wife and son, and I’m preparing for the arrival of another child. I cannot take on Gwen right now. Maybe you and Aus’Lebo can take over with Gwen right now. She is your daughter”, Maboko. 

“That’s fine, monna. When we go back to Tholoana Kingdom, she will come and live with us. But Maboko, le wena makoti, I’m going to plead with you to please not give up on her. She needs us. She really does.” Ntate says. 

No answer. 

We chat for another two hours before they all leave and the three of us are left alone. Maboko and I decide to take this opportunity to tell Khabane about his sibling on the way. 

“Bane”, I begin. 

“Yes mommy?” 

“Your dad and I would like to tell you something nice”, I say. 

He smiles at me. 

“You are going to have a sibling that mommy and daddy have made for you”, I say. 

He looks at us. We don’t know what to make of this. 

“Bane, you don’t want to be a big brother?” Maboko asks him. 

Khabane shakes his head. 

“Why?” I ask. 

“Because I’m not going to be your big boy anymore”, he says. 

Maboko and I look at each other. 

“Khabane, come here”, Maboko says to him. He walks to Maboko and settles on his lap. 

“Do you have any idea how special you are to us? You are our first baby boy. You marked the beginning of our journey as parents. One day, you are the one who is going to fight with us because you’ll want us to treat you like an adult. We will never see an adult in you. You will always be our baby boy.” 

Khabane laughs. 

“Our little family is growing. You are going to help us bring up this baby. You are going to teach him or her things that your mom and I can’t. And that baby is going to love you! He or she already does. We heard that he or she has already placed an order for your present from heaven with Jesus.” Maboko is an amazing father. He was born to do this. 

“Can I have a brother? Then he’s going to buy me a bicycle like Mohale did”, Khabane says.

Maboko and I laugh. 

“Even if you have a sister, she will know exactly what to buy her big brother”, Maboko says. 

“But how will we play together?” Khabane. 

“You’ll play well with her. And you’ll take care of her.” Maboko. 

“But mommy said I’m not allowed to play with girls. I even have a girlfriend that I’m not allowed to play with. Now I can’t buy her chocolate because she doesn’t make me laugh.” What the hell is this boy saying? 

“But this is your sister.” Maboko. So, he knows about this girlfriend situation?

“So, I can buy my sister chocolate?” If it is a sister. It could also be a brother. But can we rewind to the girlfriend comment? 

“You can buy her anything you want”, Maboko. 

“I’m sorry… you have a girlfriend?” I ask.

Maboko starts laughing. 

“Yes mommy”, Khabane says so casually.

“Khabane, you are way too young to have a girlfriend. I don’t want to hear about this nonsense ever again”, I say. 

“But mommy, she says –

“Is she your mother?” 

“No”.

“Then what she says is not important. Dump that girl! And no girlfriends for you until we can start talking about what it means for you to have a girlfriend. Understood?” 

I don’t understand why Maboko is laughing. I really don’t. Khabane looks like he wants to cry, but his father laughing makes him feel less upset about this conversation. He just takes a deep breath and throws his face on his father’s chest. I just get up and make my way to the big couch in this TV room. I want to take a nap right here on this couch. 

…

I’m on my laptop trying to understand the current state in Tholoana Kingdom. I need to get a camera in front of Mohato and he needs to address the country urgently. Everyone in his family is uncontactable and I need to say something to these people to calm the chaos. 

I’m joining a zoom meeting with a media outlet to actually speak on behalf of the government. I have absolutely no information on what is going on, I’m just going to do my best to ensure that the situation calms down. 

I leave my laptop on as the chaos plays out and I get dressed and fix myself for the interview. Aus’Lebo helps me by setting up the area where I will be recording. She’s really serious about us building a relationship and I’m really here for it.

“You look beautiful”, Maboko walks into the room where I am changing. He is staring at me. I look at him and smile at him. 

He walks up to me and wraps himself around me. We kiss. 

“You really are beautiful”, he says to me. 

“And you are so handsome. I have to keep up with your fine looks”, I say.

We both chuckle. 

“Any word from the royal house?” He asks me. 

I shake my head. 

“What are you going to say?” 

“I have to try and stabilize what’s going on. Honestly. Our economy is tanking by the minute.” I say. 

“Good luck, my love. We will be downstairs. I’ll keep Khabane away.” 

“Thank you, baby.” 

We kiss again. 

“Have you spoken to Gwen today?” I ask him. 

“She’s been locked up in her assigned room all day”, he says. 

“Okay, let me at least go with you just to check that she’s okay”, I say.

“Baby –

“Baby-daddy, please… she’s still family” I say, and he laughs. 

We kiss. 

We walk into Gwen’s room after slight knock. 

“GWEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!!” I scream. 

Aus’Lebo and ntate run up the stairs in an instant. Aus’Lebo has Khabane in her arms. 

“No! Don’t bring Khabane here, please.” I scream. 

But then I also cry. I don’t understand. 

Maboko is numb! Ntate is shocked! Gwen is hanging from the ceiling. She has even gone grey. 

“Gwen! Please… Gwen, no! No! Please!” I keep mumbling as I scream and cry. My eyes are blury. I can’t even see properly. I try to untie the knot that I see here, but I can’t. Common sense is that I get a knife and just cut this. But common sense has flew out the window. 

“Gwen!” I say. I want her to help me bring her down from the ceiling. Why is she so still? Why? She must do something! Can she breathe at least?! 

Maboko is still numb. He is still standing at the door with his hands in his pockets and is not moving.

Ntate brings a knife and cuts the rope. Gwen falls to the ground. Her body is so lifeless. I cannot believe this. I sit down next to her dead body and I put her head on my lap. I cry as I brush her face. She is so cold. I think she’s been dead for hours. 

“Gwen!” I keep saying as I cry next to her. 

Finally, Maboko moves. But he leaves the room.

“Makoti“, we have to prepare the mattress for you to mourn. And we have to phone an undertaker and – 

“No ntate, no… let’s at least take her to the hospital. Maybe we can still save her.” I say as I cry. 

“Makoti –

“Please ntate, let’s at least try.” I beg him through my crying. 

I don’t even know why I’m so affected by this. I really cannot explain it. It’s just so unreal to me. 

The undertaker has arrived to take her body. I’m on the mattress now for her in the room that she passed away in. There are candles lit in here and all her things are put next to the candle. Her body is now naked in front of me. Aus’Lebo is with Khabane somewhere in the house. Ntate has to whip the corpse before it is taken away. The whipping symbolizes that Gwen must leave the earth with the black cloud and bad luck that she has brought upon the family. If she isn’t whipped, there is a belief that someone else in the family will commit suicide. The eldest person in the family has to whip her. 

This is the most painful thing to watch because ntate is crying as he whips Gwen’s body. I just keep crying on this mattress that I am now sitting on. Ntate whips Gwen so much that he breaks down and wails next to her body. Maboko starts crying now. He is breaking down as well and I’m glad. He needs to let it out. All of it. Whatever it is that he is feeling, he needs to let it all out. 

If I didn’t have to sit on this mattress during this process, I’d let him cry in my arms. 

The undertakers finally take the body away. The first thing that I do is go to my husband, throw my arms around his neck and I let him cry. Aus’Lebo has grown ass Khabane on her back and she holds ntate as well, letting him cry. Every eye is wet. Every heart is heavy. The grown men’s cries are the loudest and the most painful. 

…

I have moved into Kabelo’s house to help him get better. He is on a wheelchair and he is extremely angry at the whole world. His mother lives with us. She says she’s here to make sure her “baby” gets well soon. But I honestly believe that she has come here to piss me off. She questions everything that I do. She judges me for everything that I don’t do. And she hosts prayer sessions and Bible studies daily in this very house. Kabelo is upset that I’m trying to help my mother get out of prison. He doesn’t even call his mother out for being a bitter bitch because she’s not God’s first Lady. She never will be with a heart like that. Yesterday, her Bible study was on Jezebel. That wrinkled bitch then called me in to have her circle of idiots pray for me to get saved because apparently, I’m the Jezebel. 

Rha! 

I take every single opportunity that I can take to get out of this house. Kefentse and I have regular meetings with the special crimes units to try and get Mohato aka pope arrested. The things that we have found out about these people are traumatizing. I don’t understand how stupid our law enforcement is to have not been able to bag a case up to now. 

Now we’ve heard that they have fled the country. Well, we don’t know if they have because every border gate has someone working with us and no one has stated that they’ve come into their country. We know that they had set off the riots to distract us from the illegal shipment of cars and other products. I cannot believe these dumb fucks let down their guard like that. Now we need to find them, and something tells me that wherever we find them, that location will lead us to what we need to make that entire Mohale family pay for their sins.

We’ve managed to kidnap the Khuzwayo brothers. They’ve been offered a deal by the cops and their wives have been sent to the Seychelles until the arrest of Mohato Mohale and Shaka Maphumulo – the two most dangerous and powerful men walking on this green earth. They’ve been helpful and precise so far, even sending us to their brother’s house and telling us where to look to find evidence that will get every church member a minimum of forty-five years behind bars. We got there and everything was gone. Either that man has a thug wife, or someone on our end snitched and had the church clean out that house. He keeps nothing at any of his clubs, so we found nothing. The Khuzwayo brothers gave us every possible location where these people could hide out and we have not found them at any of these places. Now we are waiting for one of them to just sneeze. 

“Linda”, Kabelo calls for me as I sit on this couch and stare at the blank TV in front of me. I look at him. 

“The protests are getting worse. I thought Teboho was handling it? Wasn’t she supposed to address the people last night?” 

I shrug my shoulders. Why would I care about what stopped Teboho from addressing the nation in the absence of the king? The prime minister addressed us and basically told us that until the king comes out and confirms this, we must consider the article released by the anonymous journalist to be fake news. 

“Linda, I’m hoping that we can talk”, he says.

Now he wants to talk…

“I’m not going to stop helping my mom”, I tell him upfront. 

“She tried to kill me, Linda. She almost succeeded.”

“The bullet wasn’t meant for you.”

“So, it’s okay that it was meant for somebody else?” 

“Kabelo, she’s my mother. What you are asking of me is unreasonable, especially because you can’t even keep your own mother in check.”

“She’s just looking out for me because my girlfriend can’t seem to do so.”

“How am I not looking out for you? I left my house to come and make sure that you get better here – tolerating your rude, abrasive and insolent mother who thinks she’s deputy-Jesus.” 

“How have you been looking out for me? By paying staff to come help me with my physio? Filling up my house with employees to cook and clean for me? TO FUCKEN BATH ME TOO?! Do you have any idea how useless I feel, Linda?” 

“I’m not a doctor or a nurse, Kabelo. These people are professionals and dealing with such things is a profession for them.” 

“Linda, sometimes I just need you to be there. Get into a pair of tights and come do the exercises with me. I know you can’t cook, but I’d appreciate you burning eggs just so I could eat. Bath me, baby. You know my body. I won’t feel embarrassed when you are the one who is cleaning me. Make our bed, fuck! A stranger comes into our most personal space and changes our sheets. Sometimes I pee on them because I can’t make it to the toilet on my own.” 

He lets a tear out. 

“I can’t even have a private argument with you because my house is full of strangers that you have labelled as staff. But for your mother, you get up and drive out in a heartbeat to do everything yourself. You are there for her even though you are not a lawyer and the law is out of your hands. You understand, with her, that sometimes just being there is all you can do and it’s enough. I’m the one she tried to kill. Why are you not there for me?” 

I ponder on what he has just said to me. I get off the couch and kneel in front of him. I wipe his tears off his face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt this way.” I say. 

“You wouldn’t know. You are never around to ask me.” 

“That’s because your mother drives me crazy. Can’t she go back home now?” I say and we both laugh. 

“Linda, have your parents not taught you that umuntu omdala uyahlonishwa? Awufundiswanga wena kini, that’s why your marriage failed. I don’t want a woman like you for my son. I don’t even know what Kabelo sees in you.”

This woman has a problem, yaz. A serious one. And it’s beginning to piss me off now.

“Mama, you can’t say things like to Linda. Come on now.” Kabelo. 

“Kabelo, shut up! Shut up! This girl will never respect you as a husband. She cannot even cook for you! What kind of a woman wakes up and cannot so much as even make the bed? Sies!“

I get up from my knees and actually look at this woman. 

“If you want me to apologise for the fact that I can actually afford the lifestyle that I want, the apology is not coming. I’m a hardworking businesswoman and your son is very lucky to have me.” 

“Heh! Athi my son is very lucky to have her! Thixo! No one is lucky to have you. Everything and everyone around you is just followed by a dark cloud. Your mother is in jail. Your father is sleeping with everything that’s not in church uniform and my son is in a wheelchair. Kabelo, look at how happy Maboko is after leaving this witch! Unesichitho lo muntu and she will end you if you do not snap out of whatever trance she’s put you in.” 

This actually hurts my feelings.

“Why would you say that?” I ask her.

“I said what I said.”

“And yet you consider yourself a God-fearing woman. What kind of prayer comes out of such a judgemental heart? What kind of prayer comes out of so much hatred and bitterness? You are the one who needs the prayer.” I say. 

I’ve hit a nerve. 

Something is thrown into the house, breaking our window while at it. It’s a grenade. The protestors are here already? My quick reaction is to push Kabelo out of the house. I push him to the garage and literally throw him into the car with his wheelchair. I take the wheelchair and quickly shove it into the boot. 

I get into the car and start my engine. As I open my garage and gate, protestors march into the house. I don’t understand why Kabelo never moved into a damn estate. A house in the suburbs but not in a security-controlled estate is not good enough – especially in this damn country. I run these people over with my car because I’m not risking my life for their social grants. That’s between them and the king. Anyone who is in my driveway is trespassing and I’m running them down with my car. 

Five people are on the ground and others are running away. 

“Linda, my mother”, Kabelo says. Must I really wait for that woman? Our lives are in danger here. 

“Kabelo –

“Linda, if this were your mother, we would not have left without her.” 

“What do you want me to do?”

“Go inside and get my mother!”

“No! Did she not see the grenade? Why didn’t she run when we did?” 

“Linda!” He yells at me. 

“No, Kabelo!” 

Kabelo opens the door and practically falls out of the car. Now the protestors have surrounded my car. Some have pulled Kabelo out of the car and dragged him into the centre of the protesting. Someone grabs the key out of my car’s ignition saying, “You think your privilege will save you? How dare you run people over!” 

I’m now dragged out of my car. 

What’s happening? Why is this even happening? Oh, my goodness! 

I feel whips on my body. I see blood. I’m crying, but I don’t feel myself crying because every whip stings. I’m being pulled by my dreadlocks then I find myself next to Kabelo. He is helplessly crying. Where is that witch we were waiting for in the first place that delayed us from running away on time? I pray with everything that’s inside of me that she’s dead. 

Someone urinates on me while another man puts a tyre around Kabelo’s neck. 

We are dying. I just know that we are. Petrol is splashed all around us. 

I hear the police arrive and as they start firing at the crowd to move away from us, someone throws a lit matchstick at Kabelo while another sets my dreadlocks on fire. 

I try to put the fire out in my hair while I also try to get the tyre off Kabelo. But my body is aching. I’m not acting fast enough. The fire is moving too quickly. I’m feeling things that shouldn’t be felt by any human being. People are singing and dancing around us. There are some camera phones that are out recording Kabelo and I burn alive. His house is also up in flames. The police finally come into our view. They look at us and the looks on their faces tell us that there is nothing else that they can do. The last protest song that I hear before I leave this moment is: 

“Siyenzeni na?

Siyenzeni na? Siyenzeni na? 

Siyenzeni na?

Siyenzeni na? Siyenzeni na?

Siyenzeni na?

Siyenzeni na? Siyenzeni na?

Siyenzeni na?

Siyenzeni na? Siyenzeni na?”