My phone is ringing. I don’t understand. I peep through my sleep with one eye. My room is shit dark. I feel super disorientated. Meh is still fast asleep next to me. 

Eish… I’ll explain, but let me answer my phone.

“Hello?”

“Papa wa ngwana waka”. 

“Huh?”

“Dumela.”

“Who’s this?”

“Ke Phemello”. She says. 

“Phemello, keng? Why are you phoning me so early in the morning?”

“We haven’t slept le runa. Ngwana wa kula”, she tells me. 

I see Meh rolling out of bed and heading to the restroom. 

“What’s wrong with him?” 

“I don’t know, but we need to see a doctor. My mom managed with ntate Molefi wa-next to door to drive us. But we need petrol money.”

“How much?”

“I don’t know, Terrance.” 

“I’ll send you R5000 just now. You’ll pay that guy his petrol money then take my son to a private hospital ER. Take him to Queen Kea Private Hospital. I’ll meet you there.” 

“Okay. Thank you.”

We hang up. 

I get out of bed, checking the time on my phone. It’s 3:46am. Yerr! I find a tracksuit to wear, send her money, get dressed then grab my wallet, keys and cellphone. 

“Everything okay?” Meh asks me. 

“My son is sick. I’m going to meet up with them at the hospital now.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I hope he gets better soon.” 

“Thank you. I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

She smiles at me. 

I kiss her. 

Then I leave.

While I drive, let me tell you a bit about myself and Meh. 

I liked her from the minute that our head of staff brought her to our little village on the royal grounds. She fascinated me so much… still does actually. 

We started off just talking a lot… then I’d give her a lift to and from the main royal house for us to work. She’s a cool chick. And I’ll be the first to admit that I really do like her. A lot. 

I made my move, and we’ve started having casual sex with each other. I’m exclusively having sex with her because I truly like her. I don’t know if she’s talking to other people, but I’m comforted by the fact that she’s in a foreign country and the language itself is a challenge… so I’m sure it’s one problem at a time for her. 

Our employers are also in shit. Those of us who have been working here for years know that they’ll beat this. This is not the first time that they’ve been taken to war for the throne. And this is not the first time that they’ve been accused for being criminals. They’ve Chuck-Norris-ed their challenges so much that I’ve learned to stay loyal to them and know that this is only temporary. Meh, poor thing, has been stressed. She thinks our jobs are as good as done. The minute the random people who were to assume the throne left the royal house, I knew – then even told Meh – that our employers will conquer once again. We are still getting paid. Meh wanted to go home for Christmas, but with that being a week away, she’s also not sure if she can go away. The situation is too tight around here. She just sent money home so her family could start preparing for Christmas. When I asked her what preparing for Christmas meant, she told me it included shopping for clothes and food, tithing really high at church, then paying someone at the chief’s quarters for the villages’ Christmas party. I don’t know how I feel about the last two points.

I arrive at the hospital and make my way to the ER. I find Phemello’s mother and my older son, Keamohetsoe, sitting in the waiting area. Phemello must be inside with my younger son, Hopolang. I have two boys with her. I was actually engaged to her. Then I fucked around. I even hit her at some point. I’m not proud of it. I’m just mentioning it so that I verbalise the role that I played in ending that engagement before I could even pay lobola for her. Her family still loves me. She still loves me too. I see it every time that I speak to her – even when I smashed her best friend and made her my second baby-mama. She’s on the insanity spectrum, that one. She doesn’t even let me see my son. She thinks I was supposed to marry her. To be honest, I don’t take you seriously as a human being when you are willing to cheat with me on your friend. I was never going to marry her. If I like you, I’m not smashing your friends. Nah! 

“How is he?” I ask the mother. 

“We don’t know yet. We are also waiting for Phemello.” The mother says. 

My son greets me then we chill on the chairs in the waiting area. 

My phone rings. It’s Phemello. 

“Hey”. 

“Hey. Where are you?”

“Outside with your mom and Keamo”. 

“Okay.” She hangs up. 

I look at my phone. 

Why was she checking my whereabouts?

She walks out of the ER room. 

I stand up and meet her halfway. She looks panicked. 

“Keng?” I ask her. 

“They want to admit him into ICU. It’s something to do with his heart.”

What the fuck?! 

I run in with her to speak to these doctors and understand what they are saying. 

The doctor explains that Hopolang could potentially have a heart condition. They have to admit him so that he can be assessed overnight, then a paediatrician cardiologist will attend to him later in the morning.

I wish this child was on medical aid. I’ve been delaying this medical aid shit for years now. Now I’m going to have to pay cash. 

I just agree then I fill out admission papers while Phemello goes with Hopolang to the paediatrician ward. Keamo is with me. 

I pay R38 000 for a three day minimum stay. If he stays longer, I’ll probably pay more. 

As we walk to the ward, I check my phone and see a text from Meh. 

“How is Hopolang doing? Have you seen him yet?” 

The fact that she called him by name and not “your son”, removing herself from him… that’s everything to me. 

I decide to phone her back.

“Hey baby. If you are busy, it’s okay. I didn’t want you to phone me. I was just checking up on you and Hopolang.” 

I actually laugh under my breath. She’s such a selfless and understanding individual. She’s my first experience at such qualities. 

“Hello my baby… how are you?” I say. 

She giggles too then says, “hey. How’s everything going there?”

“He’s been admitted. They think he has a heart condition. A paediatric cardiologist will see him once the sun has come up.”

“Yoh, Terrence… I’m so sorry. I wish there was something that I could do.”

“You being there for me like you are right now is all I need.” 

“Always. Be there with him. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you when you get back.” 

“Thank you, baby. I’ll keep calling you throughout the day though. Don’t worry. What are you up to?”

“I just woke up. Thankfully, we slept at my place last night. So I’ll just shower then I’ll watch some TV while I wait to hear from you.”

“Okay baby. Keep me updated if there are any developments with our employers.” 

“Will do. All the best with Hopolang.” 

“Thank you, baby.”

We say bye to each other then we hang up.

“Dad”, Keamo says to me. 

“Yeah?”

“You have a new girlfriend?”

He really listened to my entire phone call conversation. 

“Yes, I do. Is it a problem?”

“Not with me. But I know mom is going to be angry. You and mom always fight when you get a new girlfriend.” 

He has a point. 

We walk to the ward as we talk. 

“I need some money for my soccer trip please.” He says.

“But I paid for that trip in full already. I’ve also paid for your kits and tracksuits and and and…” 

“Yes. I just need pocket money now.”

You know, his mom has a job too. She’s an admin clerk at a school, but it’s still a job. You want to tell me that she can’t even give her own child pocket money? Fok mahn! 

Also… 

I’m going to have to dig into my savings to make it through this month. I have to pay child support for my children; R5000 per child. With my five kids, I part with R25k every month for my kids. And the mothers still ask me for shit. They are all upset that their kids cannot go to private schools. I’m doing the best that I can and none of them are helping me. Only Mercy helps by looking after our child. She’s the mother of my last born child. We only have one child together. She’s a flight attendant and she more than meets me halfway with our daughter. When she hears that a month has been hard for me – like now with me paying from my pocket for Hopolang’s medical fees – she tells me to not worry about child support and that she’s got it. She’s the only one who says thank you when she sees that I took our daughter shopping while she was visiting me… or took her to the hair salon. She always tells me that she recognises that I’m doing my best and that my best is a stunning ten out of ten. She’s nothing like these leeches, Phemello (mother of two) and Lerato (mother of two). I cheated on Phemello with Lerato. 

And they were friends. 

Phemello is the mother of my first and third born. 

Lerato is the mother of my second and fourth born.

Yes, they hate each other.

Yes, they are forever in a competition with one another regarding whose kids I support more. 

Lerato is unemployed. She’s never been for work. Ever! And she goes around beating people up. I’m waiting for the day that someone will open a case against her. Ka nnete! 

“I’ll give you the money, boy”, I tell him. 

We walk into the ward and I see Hopolang attached to machines. 

“What exactly happened?” I enquire. How is he this sick?! I spoke to him yesterday and he was fine. 

“Are you trying to blame us for something?” Phemello. 

“I’m just asking a question. He was fine when I spoke to him last night. What happened between then and now?” Me. 

“He just got sick.” That’s all she’s prepared to share. 

Imagine! 

I just shake my head and leave the ward.

I’m sitting on a bench in the waiting area. I’m waiting for the doctor to arrive and make me understand what is wrong with my child. 

I’m also wondering how I’m going to make it through this month. I’m actually thinking of selling my car. Honestly. 

I phone my mother. I look after her as well. She lives with my two younger sisters so I look after all of them. 

But props to my mom… a true hustler. She works as a domestic worker in the suburbs and refuses to just retire. I could look after her. But at times, she’s the one who ends up bailing me out with the little that she earns. 

“Terry, my baby… ujwang papa?” I hate that Terry my baby shit. I’ve begged her to stop. She just won’t! 

“Mah! Please stop calling me that!”

She laughs aloud. 

“Are you good?”

“I’m good. Wena ujwang?”

“Ey mama… Hopolang is in hospital.”

“Why?”

“He’s sick. Something is wrong with his heart. We are waiting for a cardiologist to come in and attend to him.”

“Yoh weh! I’m sorry, hle. Let me get a taxi to bring me there. Where are you?” 

“At Queen Kea Private Hospital. But mama, you don’t have to come.” 

“I’ll ask Mrs Van Vuuren to come in late. I didn’t get a chance to give you my additional medical aid card. I put all your kids on my medical aid. That hospital is expensive. You won’t afford it on your own.”

I actually tear up. 

Only my mom would be this thoughtful. Honestly. 

“Papa? O teng?” She searches for me. 

I gather myself then say, “ke teng. Thank you, mama. Truly.”

“I don’t want these girls messing with you. I have a charmer of a son mo wena!”

I laugh. 

We say goodbye to each other then she hangs up. I smile at my phone. 

I look up and see Phemello starting at me. 

“I didn’t make him sick”, she says. 

“I didn’t say you did. I asked what happened.”

“Do you think I’d make my own son sick just to get your attention? I’m not Lerato.” 

“Ey! Please! Don’t start! I’m not in the mood and it’s way too early for this shit.” 

She gets angry. 

She sits down next to me. 

She folds her arms. 

She takes a deep breath. 

“I want to fix things and try again… be a family le bana ba rona.” She says. 

“That’s not possible.”

“Why not? We were engaged! We loved each other. We worked.”

“I made three kids with other women while I was still with you. I hit you. Clearly we were not working.”

“I want to try again.”

“I’m with someone!”

She’s both shocked and hurt. 

“Break up with her!” Now she’s drunk. 

“I’m very serious!” She says. 

“O so hlanya wena!”

“Ha ke hlanyi! Who’s going to want me with two kids? It must be nice to be you… running around with fresh girls who have no kids while I’m here and have no potential of moving on. I did nothing to you! All I did was love you! I’m not the one that you treat like this! You’ll break up with whoever you are with then you and I will fix things! Ke phetho!” Then she storms off. O nwile oe!

…

I’m back at my place now… at the royal grounds. It’s 2am and I’m exhausted. I head to Meh’s apartment. She’s probably asleep. We gave each other spare keys to each other’s apartment – another reason I cannot just bring anyone home to tap. 

I walk in and find the TV playing while she’s passed out on the couch. I think she was waiting for me. 

I smile at her. 

I kneel next to the couch she’s lying on then I kiss her forehead. She’s so deep in her sleep, she doesn’t feel me. I carry her to bed. After I’ve tucked her in, I get into bed too and sleep. 

–

I am woken up by a heavenly smell of fried eggs, fatty bacon, mushroom fried with sunflower oil as opposed to premium olive oil… the tomato too. But I’ll eat it and not be a snob… it’s the thought that counts. 

She brings that nonsense into the bedroom to perform a breakfast in bed surprise. Imagine. But I smile. I sit up and accept the tray of breakfast that I would’ve never prepared for myself. She sits next to me with her plate too. At least the orange juice she’s serving is freshly squeezed… it’s the only one they sell here in the staff quarters. 

“Good morning”, she says. 

“How are you, baby?” Me. 

“Rested. I was worried about you though. I was happy to wake up next to you.”

I kiss her. 

“Unjani uHopolang?” She asks me. 

“He’s stable. The doctor says he needs a new heart.”

Her face! Her heart seems to be breaking. Why? She doesn’t even know him. I guess she cares because he’s my child. 

“Ja. So he’s been put on the donor list.”

She hugs me. 

She’s going to make me cry. She’s too emotional. 

I eat this breakfast she’s prepared for me. It’s the oil stuck between my chest and stomach that’s making me forget all about my drama. I guess that’s what’s you get for being a qualified chef.

“You didn’t want to sleep over there with him?” She asks me. 

“His mother is there and she was driving me up the wall. I’ll go back today during visiting hours.”

She nods her head, but is still slightly emotional. 

“Do you think I should go to the main house and clean a bit?”

“Why? No one is there.”

“I know. But still. They’ll be back. They should find the place clean.”

I nod my head. 

“If you need me… I’m here,  baby.” She says. 

I smile at her. 

I can’t believe that Phemello wants me to leave Meh for her. Imagine!

I’ll actually be very serious with Meh. This is my wife. Even my mom will love her. And I think she would get along very well with my sisters. 

Maybe I’ll tell my mother about her as soon as Hopolang gets better.