This morning, I’m at the church’s office building. My parents are the founders of the Faith and Spirit Church. They founded it in the first year of their marriage. The story behind creating the church is that they struggled to have children in their first two years of marriage. Therefore, they decided to start a Faith and Spirit journey with the Lord, healing people from their pain by sharing their experience with God in their journey of finding a child. My father went to school to study theology while my mom studied business management. My mother and father then resigned from their corporate jobs and took a leap of faith. The church has been growing ever since. My father is the bishop of the church, naturally. My mother, Lady-Laura, is a pastor herself. However, she’s more into branding and marketing the church as well as my father and me. My father has his office. My mother has her office. Then there are employees everywhere. The church gets involved in a lot of corporate activities and CSI work that brings in money and exposure. 

The members of the church do weird things like buy my parents land so they could build their retirement home. They’ve bought two of my father’s cars. This church is funded by business, the congregation and faith. 

Two years into running this church, my mother got pregnant with me. I am their gift from God therefore, how they raise me must be their thanksgiving to God. I pursued my own life and my own career. But I know that when my father steps down, I have to step in as bishop. I’m already a senior pastor as well. So, I have my own office here as well. When I’m not flying planes, I’m working here at the church. 

“Pastor Twala, bishop Twala and Lady-Laura have asked to see you in bishop Twala’s office.” My PA says to me before I can even take a seat behind my desk. 

My plan was to come in, prepare for my sermon because I’m flying out tomorrow and I’ll only be back on Saturday evening for Sunday’s service. 

“Okay. Thanks, Kate.” I say. 

“Miss Wandisa also called. She said she couldn’t reach you on your cell.” She tells me. 

I had load-shedding this morning and I forgot to charge my phone last night. So, I’ll only be able to charge my phone now that I’m in the office. 

“Okay, let me phone her from my office phone then I’ll go meet up with my parents.” I tell her. 

She nods her head and gets typing. 

I get into my office and plug my phone into the charger. Then I dial Wandisa’s number. She answers it after two rings, saying, “Hey.” 

“Hey baby. Sorry you couldn’t reach me. I was loadshedded this morning and I forgot to charge my phone last night after we spoke.” I explain. 

“It’s okay. I was phoning you to wish you a good morning and a great day ahead.” She says. 

“Thank you, love. What are you getting up to today?” I ask her. 

Wandisa does everything except work for people. She says she’s a businesswoman and I can see it. But, I wish she could find something more stable. She’s selling clothes one day, the next day she does people’s nails then the next week she’s doing people’s hair. She really takes the saying “to never live the same day twice” quite literally. 

“I’m going to look for space today.” She says. 

Now she’s selling space too? 

“Space?” I need her to elaborate. 

“Yeah. My mom basically bullied my dad into buying me space so I could open an operational business that will operate outside of my room.” She says. 

I can’t help but laugh. She laughs too. Then she says, “So, my mom and I are going to Rosebank today to look for space. Then after that, I have to go to an audition. I got my first call back for an actual role on some show that’s going to be on Showmax. I’m not going to be an extra. I’m going to be an actual character.” She says. 

Ai, Wandisa. 

“Love, don’t you just want to come by and spend the day with me?” I ask. 

“I’ll come by after my audition.” She says. 

“Okay, the space. What kind of business will you be opening there?” I ask. 

“A furniture boutique. My mom is currently unemployed, so she will run it for me should I get a paying acting job.” She says. 

“I see.” I say. What else can I say?

“But I’ll come by and see you after the audition, okay?” 

“Okay baby. I love you, Wandi.” I say. 

“I love you too, babe.” She says. 

“Can I buy you a ticket then we can fly out together tomorrow?” I ask her. 

“That would be nice.” She says. 

“Yeah. We haven’t really spent a lot of time together since your mom got out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you that she’s out, but I need you too.” I tell her. 

“I know. I’m sorry babe. Book me the ticket tomorrow. You’ll have my undivided attention for the rest of the week.” She says.

“Do I have your word?” 

“You’ve got my word, babe.” 

“Thank you.” 

We say our goodbyes and we hang up. 

I prepare to go to my dad’s office when Julia walls into my office. Julia is the choir’s lead singer who is in cahoots with my mom to break Wandi and I up. My mom thinks Julia is the kind of wife that I need, and Julia is saving herself for me – something that will never happen. She just makes me uncomfortable all together. She and Wandi do not get along AT ALL. So even she knows how inappropriate it is for her to just barge into my office dressed in a figure-hugging white dress that brands her curves and markets her ass. Her legs are nice and she always wears heels because she knows that a woman in heels is my untouched g-spot. 

I stay seated in my chair because my penis is getting hard and she doesn’t deserve to see what she does to me. Wandisa doesn’t deserve that. 

“Hey you”, she says as she strolls to my desk. 

“What do you want?” 

“I heard that we are in your hands this Sunday, pastor. I’m wondering what playlist you’d like the choir to put together.” She says, smiling at me. 

Lord have mercy! 

“I’ll let you know. I’m busy right now. Please give me space.” I say.

“You know, Charity was telling me that- 

“Julia, goodbye. Please.” I firmly say.

She seems a bit hurt. 

She leaves my office. 

I just breathe in and out, waiting for my erection to give me peace. 

When it finally dies down, I finally make my way to the bishop’s office.

“I’m quite sure that I called for you at 7am, Senzangakhona!” My mom is already pissed off. What’s her issue today?

“I was busy”, I say.

“With what? Talking to that hoodrat you should be separated from by now?” My mom is yet to tell me what her issue is with Wandisa. 

She’s already pissing me off and both my parents can see me beginning to lose my patience with this meeting. 

“We hear her mother has come out of prison.” My father says. 

They didn’t hear anything. I told my father and he was cool when it was just us talking. I’m sure he spoke to my mother and she convinced him that we have a problem now. Agh! 

“Do you not hear your father talking to you, boy?” My mom is getting a bit high on anger now.

“Dad and I have had this conversation. I don’t understand what we are still talking about.” I say. 

“You watch your mouth, Senzangakhona! Who do you think you are talking to?! You bring us a girl you picked out of a dump and her mother who’s a convicted criminal- 

“Rehabilitated offender”, I correct my mother and she throws a shoe at me. I duck and it hits the door. 

“Son, you are set to take over from me when I step down as the highest authority in this church. You need to marry a woman who is fitting to stand by your side as you take on the responsibility of leading this church”, my dad says. 

“I’m not breaking up with Wandi. I love her. She’s flawed, but she’s perfect for me. She understands my flaws just like I understand hers. She may have a broken family, but I also have a judgemental family that thinks it’s above people created in God’s image and likeness. “

Both my parents are silent. The hypocrites stare at me. 

“She’s not going anywhere. She’s the woman that I love and if you have a problem with that, you can hand this church over to someone else.” I say. 

“You must have lost your mind!” My mother. 

“Because of a girl?” My dad.

“If I have to break up with the woman that I love just to lead this church, then all your preaching and teachings about accepting people as they are and seeing people who belong to God before seeing anything else has been a lie. You taught me that God doesn’t call the qualified, but rather qualifies those that He calls and that is why He calls us to come as we are and worship Him. If being the bishop of this church is truly my calling, He will qualify me and the woman next to me to lead His people and heal the spirits that we can lead. If I have misunderstood that teaching, then I refuse to surrender my life to a God who sees some people to be less than others.” I say. 

One can hear a pin drop. 

“Are we done here?” I ask. 

They don’t say anything. It must be God talking to them in silence.

“Very well then. I’ll be in my office if anyone needs me.” I say. 

I walk out of the office and meet up with Sbu in the passage way leading to my office. 

“Ey, ndoda. I heard you were here.” He says to me. 

“Where have you been? Smashing the choir members?” 

“I could’ve been if you weren’t here. But you know you are the hunk that they actually want. I’m just the consolation prize for the ladies not being able to get with you.” 

We both laugh aloud. 

We walk into my office and I ask Kate to get us some coffee. She knows how we both like our coffee. 

I leave Sbu sweet-talking Kate about some nonsense and switch on my phone. It is 66% charged. 

I notice Wandi’s missed calls now. 

Then I notice Julia’s text messages about this playlist nonsense she was annoying me about this morning. 

I text Wandi to let her know that my cellphone is back on then ask her if she could sleep over at my place tonight. I actually miss my girlfriend. 

“Ukudlisile lo mntwana“, I just know that Sbu is back in my office. But he’s not alone. NTK, Jake and Miles are with him.

The five of us grew up together in this church. We are quite close. They have actual corporate positions in this place. The salary here is quite competitive and competes with actual corporate companies. I honestly only know how to fly planes. I know nothing about corporate work, so amongst the five of us – I’m just the senior pastor. 

There’s a noise in my office and we are all just talking nonsense. 

“So, Twala, I was thinking…” Miles begins. He is the head of PR. 

We all look at him. 

“I think we should get on top of the release of Wandi’s mom and control that narrative.” He says. My mom has been talking to him. I just know it. 

“Why? She’s not even a member of this church.” I say. 

“Yeah, but Wandi is. And she’s your lady. She’s part of the Twala image which means she’s part of the Faith and Spirit Church image.” He says. 

I shake my head and say, “I need to speak to Wandi about this. I can’t just make that call without her. This is her mother. And while you are all worried about how Wandi’s mom makes the church look, she is the one who has deal with whatever crap comes from us trying to control and get ahead of her story.” I say. 

“I don’t mean to be an asshole, but I hope Wandi knows that this is what she’s signing up for by being with you and probably marrying you one day.” NTK says. 

I look at him. 

“Maybe it’s time you had this conversation with her, man. Your mom wants Wandi to start being more involved around the church. She’s gearing up to be your wife, she’s gearing up to be the lady of the church. She needs some presence around here.” Miles says. 

I’m saved by Kate walking in with three cups of coffee and Julia walking in with the other two cups. 

You know what, I’ll just prepare this damn sermon at home. Everything and everyone is just annoying me here. I just need my damn space. 

I’m already grabbing my car keys, laptop bag, wallet and cellphone when people are trying to stop me from just leaving. 

I get to my car and just sit in here for peace. When I see my mom charging towards the car like a mad woman, I start my engine and just drive off. 

She tries to phone me and I switch off my phone. I just need space. 

I drive around in my Golf 8R, peacefully taking in traffic, people and noise. I’m actually happy for this noise. Anything but that damn building that is said to be built in God’s name. 

I find myself parked outside the place that Wandi lives at. I don’t see her car, so she’s probably not here. I see one of the tenants that live here. 

He lets me in and I park my car. I have my own key to Wandi’s room, so after greeting him and having useless small talk, I let myself into Wandi’s room. I lock the security gate and just throw myself on the bed. 

I turn on the TV and watch some Premier League highlights while lying on this bed. I just watch highlights after highlights until I see people at the door. It’s Wandi and her mother. 

“Hey baby”, she says. 

“Hey”, me, getting up from the bed and opening the security gate for them.

They walk in. 

“Hello”, the mother greets me. 

“Sawubona, mah.” I greet the mother. 

“This is my mom, baby. Mah, this is my boyfriend, uSenzangakhona.” Wandi introduces us. 

She goes for a handshake, but I go in for a hug. 

This makes Wandi smile.

“I have to go because my audition is in Randburg.” Wandi says.

“I’ll drive you. Come on, let’s go.” I say. I have no plans of staying here with her mother. 

…

I’m not really allowed to go into the audition with Wandi, so while she goes in, I pull out my tablet and start preparing my sermon for Sunday. I choose to talk about the giant of money. A tool that makes economic sense and helps countries compete and communicate with one other for the betterment of the people’s living conditions. But if it’s corrupted our leaders and is the cornerstone of all ethical bankruptcy in people’s values, what more are we expecting it to do to the average person? 

My very parents are looking down on the woman that I love because her life is outside of their standard of wealth and image. While as a nation, we may be liberated from the shackles of oppressors, we’ve chosen a new oppressor and that oppressor is money. It’s making us do things and treat people the way that our oppressors used to do, and I suppose we need to understand why this is the case. 

I want to touch on this thing we call branding and what exactly it is that we are selling in branding the church and the family that leads the church – what are we selling that is so exclusive that it excludes the children of God? Are we buying our way into the kingdom now? Are we buying God’s perception of us? What in our brand is putting money before people? Teaching people to love money and use people when we are actually meant to love people and use money? And overall, are we indeed branding the right things if we built a church and a business that is designed to be a cornerstone for God’s love and healing for people who come to God?

I want to refer the church to Romans 13:8 “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love.”

I love that. The only debt we should have in life is the debt of unending love because God is love and there is nothing greater than that, right? But the debt that we have towards people – financial debt – is the thing that brews classism, hatred and the complete opposite of what God wants us to feel for each other. It’s no surprise because Proverbs 22:7 tells us that “the borrower is servant to the lender.” And let’s be real, who wants to be a servant in a world that conquered slavery and considers slavery to be the worst part of our history as a humankind? We all want to run away from it, but we still allow money to drive us to considering people to be our slaves and treating them as such? Having money makes us brand ourselves as being above people who are not as wealthy and all they have to give is love. Suddenly, that’s not enough anymore. Love is not enough anymore. And my problem with that is the translation to God not being enough anymore because God is love. 

I spend about another hour and thirty minutes making notes and opening the Bible for some guidance. When I start feeling like this is personal and not healing to the people that God is sending me to speak to, I pray. I ask Him to reel me in and help me deliver what He needs me to deliver. 

Wandi comes back to the car, and I open the door for her. She is bubbly and full of happiness – as per usual. She’s my biggest muse and my greatest inspiration. Wandi has a million reasons to be mad at the world and mess up only to say that the world didn’t give her a chance – ever. But she will smile through every situation. She will laugh and find the lesson in what she has gone through then move on. When she struggles with forgiving her father or has bad dreams about being raped when she was merely six years old, she wakes me up or phones me if we are countries apart from each other and she asks me to pray with her. This is my wife. I don’t see myself loving anyone else. 

“You got the role?” I ask her.

“I don’t know yet. They said they’d call us and let us know.”She says. 

She seems worried. She must really want this. 

“God’s will will be done, my love. If this is for you, nothing is going to come between you and getting the role.” I say. 

She smiles at me. Oh man, those dimples. 

“How’s the sermon prep going?” She asks me. 

“I’ll get there. The aim is to have God speak through me, not for me to have the sweetest tongue that will have people falling in love with listening to me instead of falling in love with listening to God’s word.” 

“Well, you are a yummy man. It’s a bit hard to look at you and focus on listening to the word before noticing your…”

She starts biting her bottom lip. 

I laugh. 

We kiss.

“You are going to be amazing on Sunday. Remember that God chose you before He even formed you in your mother’s womb.” She says.

We kiss. 

We finally drive off and start at her place. She has to pack because she’s flying with me tomorrow. I think I’ll turn on my cellphone when I come back from New York on Saturday night. I need a break from anything that is not Wandisa Xolile Buthelezi. 

…

“No, Samuel! You are not hard enough on Senzangakhona! And mark my words, that boy is going to destroy EVERYTHING that we have worked so hard for.” Lady-Laura yells. 

“Laura, how has your method of raising him worked out for us? He never wants to be around us for more than five minutes. The blessing that we prayed so hard for would be okay if we were not the ones that the good Lord blessed to have him as a son. Does that do nothing to you?” The bishop says. 

“No! I have given my all into building this church. My all, Samuel! Senzangakhona was not born to have choices and date random hoodrats whose mothers are convicts. He is our gift from God, and our thanksgiving to the Lord Almighty Himself is how we raise this boy and ensure that he too devotes his life to the Lord. That is what you and I decided when he was born. He doesn’t get to just change it because he loves God’s charity on this planet.” 

“That is enough, Laura! Hai bo! This is our son that we are talking about. I don’t like that Wandisa girl of his neither, but you know what? I can acknowledge that Senzangakhona doesn’t belong to me. He may be of me – of us – but He belongs to God. We cannot determine his walk with God because He experiences God way differently from what we do. Even you and I experience God quite differently because our journeys with Him are different. You need to lay off that boy. He knows what is expected of him and he already knows that leading this church is his responsibility after me. Let his journey to the pulpit be his!” 

There is silence. 

Then, Lady-Laura notices me. 

“Hey wena, Mmathuso. You’ve been dusting the same spot of that cabinet for the past ten minutes. Do you think I don’t see that you are listening to a private conversation between my husband and I?” Lady-Laura says to me. 

I pick up my cleaning bucket and make my way out of the office. 

Lady-Laura is not a nice person. At all. This church is a business to her and we all feel it. There is a difference between interacting with the bishop or pastor Senzi versus interacting with Lady-Laura. Her energy is the complete opposite of what this church intends for us to experience spiritually. 

I’m just a cleaner around here. I see everything. I hear everything. But I’m completely invisible to every person who walks around here in a suit and tie or a dress and heels. Lady-Laura knows my name because I’m the only cleaner who is invisible enough to clean her office, the bishop’s office and pastor Senzi’s office. If there is one thing that they can all count on, it is my silence. 

I am now in the tea room making myself a cup of five roses with full cream fresh milk and no sugar. 

I sit here and drink my tea in peace and quiet. When I’m done here, I know I have to go and clean Lady-Laura’s office. Eish, that woman is so heavy on my spirit. I don’t like being around here because I just feel as if someone is sucking the life and energy out of me. I like her son, Senzangakhona. He is such a beautiful spirit and he has such a genuine heart. Oh, the Lord blessed the bishop with a son that he can definitely be proud of. But I will also say that the Lord over-blessed Lady-Laura with two men that she doesn’t deserve, but definitely needs to be reminded that the goal is always God. 

Julia walks into the kitchen humming “Joyful Joyful, Lord we adore Thee.” 

She makes herself a cup of tea, not saying hi to me or anything. 

I just finish my tea then make my way to Lady-Laura’s office. I put on some headsets and I listen to an audio book. This should get me through the cleaning of this office. 

She is not in her office. Glory be to God. I start cleaning. My data runs out, so I cannot listen to the full audio book. I keep the headsets on and clean. I want her to believe that I am listening to something so she doesn’t talk to me. 

A man walks into her office. Everything about this man doesn’t feel right. 

Zama, the PA to Lady-Laura, is trying to talk to this man and tell him that Lady-Laura is caught up in another meeting. 

“Listen here. I come from Tholoana Kingdom and I told that Lady-Laura of yours that I would be here at 8am. You better tell her that I am here now and she better come out of that meeting and see me if she knows what is good for her.” The man barks. 

I just keep cleaning. 

“Pope, hi.” Lady-Laura walks in and says.

“Laura, the only woman I wait on is my wife. Do you understand me?” The man. 

“Zama, that will be all. Thank you.” Lady-Laura says, chasing Zama out of the office. 

I am moving about and cleaning the office. 

“Sorry about that”, Lady-Laura says.

“Listen here, I need to make a withdrawal.” The pope says. 

“Withdrawal of how much?” Lady-Laura. 

“Six million rands and ten kilograms of cocaine.” The pope says.

I don’t understand. 

“Shaka, I can’t just make a withdrawal –

“This church cleans up the money of the actual church. That was the agreement. You are our bank. Have you ever heard a bank tell a client that they cannot withdraw the money that they need?” The pope says. 

“I get that. You will get your money. I need a way to get it out of this church without my husband asking questions.” Lady-Laura says. 

“I pay you a lot of money for you to be giving me problems every time I need to withdraw money. In fact, I shouldn’t even have to come all this way just to tell you to give me money. You are beginning to piss me off, Laura.” 

“I’m sorry. Fine. I’ll get the money and the drugs to you by tonight.” Lady-Laura says. 

“Good. This cleaning person that you allow in here as we discuss our business… you either kill her or make her part of our business. In fact, I insist she delivers the money and drugs herself.” What the hell?! 

“Who? Mmathuso? She’s just a cleaner. And she probably didn’t even hear what we’ve just discussed.” Lady-Laura. 

I honestly wish I heard nothing. 

“Laura, I don’t believe in loose ends. And I don’t believe in ears ever being closed. Even the walls have ears. I don’t want problems – 

“Shaka, Mmathuso is my staff. You don’t tell me how to run my staff. I clean your money. I make sure that I do what is required of me when it is required of me. Do not overstep your boundaries.” 

“Fine. But if Mmathuso becomes a problem, you both die.” 

“I’m the mother of your son. You’d never do that to Senzangakhona.” 

Hai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

“I lay with you to give you Senzangakhona because your husband doesn’t know what to do with his penis. Make no mistake, Senzangakhona is not my son. I will happily kill you and leave him without a mother. Don’t test me.” 

Then he stands up and leaves. 

Lady-Laura seems quite hurt. 

I just continue cleaning and she’s doing something on her laptop. I even start singing so she actually thinks that I’m listening to something through my headsets. This woman is the devil. I wish the bishop would find a woman deserving of his love and faithfulness. 

…

I knock off at 6pm and make my way to the staff transport. I see that pope person who was in Lady-Laura’s office earlier this morning. 

“Woza“, he says to me, already pulling me towards his car. 

Oh no! What does he want. 

“Don’t make a scene. Just follow me”, he says. 

I follow him. 

I’m already crying. Why is this happening to me? Why? 

I get into a car and the door closes. The car starts moving. I look up and I see this pope and two younger men than him.

“This is her?” The one guy asks. 

“Yep. I don’t trust her. She heard everything.” Pope says. 

I start crying.

Yoh mah-weh!

“Do you see what happens when you listen to people’s business that has nothing to do with you?” The other man says.

“I don’t know what you are talking about”, I sob and say. 

“Mmathuso, why are you lying? Do you think we don’t know who you are? You are originally from Tholoana Kingdom and your mother works in the royal house.” One of these men say. 

Hai! 

This is the king! King Ona Mohale. And his twin, the chief leader of the kingdom – Moholo Khotso Mohale. I’m so confused. How does Lady-Laura know these people? They are ruthless! She’s a woman of God for crying out loud. 

“Morena, I didn’t see you there.” I say.

“I can imagine”, he says. 

“You are doing the delivery.” The pope guy says. 

“Excuse me?” 

“If you’ve called the police – 

“I haven’t, sir. I promise.” 

“I thought you said you didn’t hear anything when I was talking to Laura”.

Now I cry. 

Did I really just snitch on myself like that? 

“Sir, I promise you – 

A gun is pointed at me. 

A gun goes off. 

———– FLATLINE ————