She’s sitting at the edge of the bed. Her back is facing me. Her front is staring at the cupboards in this very cramped room. It’s just the two of us in here and I’ve told her everything. I’m leaning against a wall in here… a wall very close to the door. EVERYTHING. I’ve explained everything that I know about the church and all that’s happened since I joined this family, then joined this organisation. 

She just sat there…

And listened…

And cried… 

But has said nothing. She attempted to ask me questions but her questions struggled to form full sentences. 

“So you mean to tell me that -“

“But what about-“

“And if this -“

“So what happens if -“

No question was complete. It’s as if her brain kept having circuits. 

We’ve been sitting in silence now for over thirty minutes. She’s just been crying this entire time.

“Look, Mapho… I’ll understand if you want to break up with me – 

“Shut up! Just shut up!” 

Okay… at least she’s talking. 

“Or keng?! I’m not allowed to be upset in this relationship? When I’m upset, your immediate solution is to break up with me?”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just… with Rofhiwa- 

“Can you just stop comparing me to your ex-wives?! Please! Those marriages didn’t work and now you want to bring everything that was wrong with your marriages into this relationship! Or keng?! That’s what you want?!”

She is making very valid points. But she’s so pissed off. And to be honest, I didn’t realise I reference my past relationship so much that it actually pisses her off. But I do need to explain…

“Love, just hear me out… please.”

She’s still not looking at me. I continue, “I’m trying to not repeat the mistakes that I made in those relationships. I wasn’t honest with Rofhiwa about the church and it broke us. Rofhiwa expected perfection from me. And every time she realised that I wasn’t perfect, she looked outside of me for perfection… then ended up cheating.” 

“Listen here, wena Reahile… I’m not Rofhiwa. And I’m not Nandi. Ke nna Maphodile. If you are not ready to understand that, then we should break up. I’m not going to spend most of this relationship paying for everything that went wrong in that relationship!”

She’s so angry. 

“Now… I’m allowed to be angry! I’m allowed to be petty! You annoy me sometimes, so I’ll block you! And I’m allowed to block you and expect you to beg me to unblock you. I’m your girlfriend! It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. You make me angry sometimes. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you! You are it for me. I don’t want to be with anybody else. I want you and only you. But I can’t feel like I’m not allowed to be upset with you because I’ll trigger you then our relationship will end. It’s not fair!”

She’s moved my heart in more than fifty different ways… I just want to mention that the tone is still “shitting on me” but she’s made me whole in this relationship. I don’t even know what to say. Why did it take her so long to come into my life?! 

“So, we are spending Christmas here?” She asks me. 

“We hope not”, I say. 

“We have been here for two weeks. Christmas is in a week.” 

“I know. But we are fixing it. We are really trying.”

She’s quiet. 

We are all spread across Tsakane – a township in South Africa… Gauteng… East Rand. We are in a one bedroom room matchbox. This house is SMALL! The others are in the other houses. Some are in one bedrooms, some in two bedroom. 

She takes a deep breath. She stands up and says, “I’m going to make us food.” 

She’s left the bedroom.

I’m still in the bedroom thinking about everything, and missing my children terribly. I wish I could just phone them at least. But when we are in Tsakane, we do not use our cellphones. I’m sure Rofhiwa is losing her mind that she cannot reach me. 

There are protests happening in the kingdom. We basically paid off people to speak about the catastrophe that will happen if my two dads are removed from leadership. Their job is to highlight the Mohale impact in our community since my grandfather’s time, Mohato Mohale. The kingdom has been ungovernable for a week now… we even managed to get Ntate Zithulele and Ntate Maboko out. Every time they had to go to court, cars were bombed – state and police vehicles. That’s how we managed to kidnap ntate Maboko and Ntate Zithulele. The state is too embarrassed to put it out there that these two have escaped. Because really, you lost these people in your custody! With the community demanding the release of my dads, the state is becoming more pressed. Our lawyers are also up in arms. Human rights are being violated because our dads have now been detained without trial. Those press conferences are weakening the case day by day. 

The beginning of this week saw us paying people to leak photos of international law enforcement officials trying to have my dads trialed out of the kingdom. They’ve now bombed the airport under the statement of “you are not taking our leadership anywhere”. 

They’ve also leaked information of where they are being kept. Prisoners in that prison are now also becoming difficult to detain. The protesters are now threatening to burn the prison down. With the threat of prisoners seeing a way to escape, the state has now asked to meet up with Mme Phuthi, Mme Thabi, Mme Teboho and Mme Tlali. They are ready to negotiate. The random Mohales who came to ambush the throne have left the royal house… scared! Lol! 

I go to the kitchen where the inviting smell of a good meal calls me by name. I find Mapho pacing around in the kitchen… still crying. 

I hug her from behind. Also this house is shit small… it’s literally a bedroom, a toilet (with a bathtub and no shower), a TV room and a kitchen. Mapho doesn’t seem to mind the cramped space at all. Hai. 

“Can we spend Christmas together this year?” She asks me. I wish I could. 

“I’d love to, my love… but I have to be with the twins.” 

“You are a good father, baby.” She says. 

I don’t know what to say. No one has ever told me that. It means everything to hear it… especially from Mapho. 

“So how does it work exactly? Where do you stay when you go see the twins?” She asks me. 

I already know that I’m about to be roasted. I guess it’s time I started making a different plan out of respect for her.

“I stay with them where they stay… haboRofhiwa.” 

Her body tenses. I hold her tighter. It’s my only way to control her insecurities about the situation and her anger. 

“Rofhiwa yena a le kai?” She asks.

I’m silent. I cannot say it.

She giggles. But it’s that giggle that tells you that I’m about to see flames. 

“Love, it’s an arrangement that has always worked.” I say.

“Wena na”, she sarcastically says.

Eish, le yena mara.

“I recognise my mistake. I’m sorry. I’ll buy a house in South Africa where I’ll stay when I go there to see my kids.”

“You know… you are the one that courted me. You had all the time in the world to buy that house and make sure that by the time you and I are together, this shit is sorted and I’m respected. But I’m sure you were still busy fucking your ex-wife in that house while lying to me saying you are going there for the kids. Only now you see your mistake?”

I did sleep with Fifi from time to time. But must she really put it like that? It wasn’t like that. I was single at the time. And Fifi was willing… and I’m a man. I need sex. But that changed when I met Mapho and decided that she’s to be mine. But something tells me that if I even try to explain this, I’ll just be met with shit. So I exercise my right to remain silent. 

She removes my arms around her then she just continues with the pots. 

I should’ve stayed my ass in the cramped bedroom!

…

…

“Love, I’m heading out now”, I tell her. 

She’s watching some soapie on ETV. There’s only SABC channels and ETV here. But she doesn’t mind at all. She’s really not bothered by this entire house and everything in it. This is literally making me feel claustrophobic. 

“Where are you going? And why am I staying?” She says. She’s not even looking at me. She gave me the silent treatment throughout dinner and it was just the two of us. She cooked lamb curry and rice. She even added sides. The food was amazing and I couldn’t enjoy it with good conversation with her. 

“Maphodile… the minute we get back to the kingdom, I’ll purchase a house in South Africa. Then you can even come with me when I go see my kids.” 

“Why? So that I can stop you from sleeping with their mother?” 

“I’m not sleeping with her anymore. I stopped the minute that I met you – before you even wanted me. Her and I are just coparenting. I just happen to have a really good relationship with her family and that’s why her parents let me just stay with them when I visit the kids.”

“Please just stop talking. You making this worse.”

How?!!! How?! Am I supposed to have a horrible relationship with my children’s family?

“What do you want me to say, Maphodile?” I ask her. 

“I want you to tell me where you are going and why I need to live here alone.” 

Yeses! 

“We are taking the mothers to meet with the state back in the kingdom.” I finally say, deflated. 

“So you’ll be gone for days?”

I look at her. 

I’m not going to the spaza down the road. The drive is more than six hours and it’s not a return trip. 

“So, I just need to do what while you are gone?”

“Just keep safe. Please.” 

She just shakes her head.

I just leave because I’ll never understand how I need to fix this.

The drive to the kingdom is long and I’m just worrying about the way that Mapho and I ended our conversation. 

“You good?” Khabane asks me.

Everyone looks at us, especially the mothers and the fathers. 

“I’m good.” I say. 

“Mapho didn’t take the church thing well?”

“She didn’t… actually, I don’t know. She didn’t say much about the church. And I told her everything. We got into a bigger fight about something else.” 

“Hai bo, ndoda! Isimo sinje usafuna ukulwa nalomuntu ngezinye izinto?” Uncle Zithulele says. Mnqobi actually laughs. 

“It’s not… eish… we fought about Rofhiwa.” 

The entire vehicle bursts into laughter… as if we are not in a tense situation. I can’t help but laugh too. 

“I know I should’ve bought a house long time ago, but things are the way that they are. What must I do now? She thinks I’m still sleeping with Rofhiwa.” I say. 

“Well… are you?” Uncle Maboko asks me. 

“No… well not anymore… eish… I stopped when I met Mapho.”

People laugh at how indecisive I am about this. 

“What’s Rofhiwa saying about your new relationship?” Khabane asks me.

“I don’t care what she says. She has no say. Nna le yena we are just co-parenting.” I say. 

“She told Khanyi that you and Mapho will not last.” Khabane says. 

I look at him. 

“She said what?!” Me.

“Just be careful. Rofhiwa is neither happy for you nor over you. Find another way to co-parent with her if you love Mapho. Rofhiwa is prepared to bully her out of this relationship. We were at the Ramarus the other day to see kazi and papa. Your twins were saying that they’ll never have another mother because none of your marriages ever work out. Where do you think they get that kind of talk from?” Khabane. 

“Why would Rofhiwa –

“Uyakuthanda! Futhi you are the father of her children. Where have you seen a mother not want to be with the father of her children?” Uncle Zee.

Now everyone looks at me.

Okay…

I’m confused. I’m a bit pissed off. 

Eish…

–

We were told to sit in the car. Only the mothers went in.

Uncle Zee and Uncle Maboko are lying low in the middle seat between the row of backseats and the second last row of seats. 

We feel like sleeping because we drove through the night. But we can never be too sure on these grounds. Some bishops in Miami, Mexico, and Italy have also chipped in to assist. 

After an hour of us being here, waiting outside while the mothers negotiate with the state, Khabane’s burner rings. 

He puts it on speaker. 

“Hey”, Khabane. 

“Where the fuck are you?!” Khanyi sounds very pissed. Even uncle Maboko and uncle Zee are worried. 

“What’s going on?” Khabane asks her. 

“Ruri, Wehweh, Mapho and I decided to camp at one house. That way, some can sleep, others can keep a watch on the kids and others are alert. The police started raiding our houses.” 

“WHAT?!” Everyone in the car expresses. 

“We managed to save the kids and as much as we could then left. The kids – ours, Mnqobi’s and Banathi’s are fine. But I think the other wives got taken… and whatever evidence was with them. It’s bad, Bane.” 

“Where are you?” 

She’s quiet. 

“Baby, where are you guys?” 

“Back in the kingdom.” 

“Khanyi!!!!!”

“Relax! We took a taxi. We’ve been on the road all morning. We are in Buffalo. There’s a flat that Mapho brought us too. It belonged to her mother and she stayed here with her mother when she was a child. It is a one bedroom flat in the CBD! It’s busy so no one will suspect anything. The kids are sleeping in the bedroom, on the bed. We will sleep on the floor. Hopefully, we will not be found here.” 

“What’s the address of that place?”

“Khabane! Don’t annoy me. I’m from South Africa. Do I look like I know addresses of CBDs you’ve never even taken me to?”

The gents try very hard not to laugh. 

“Let me talk to Mapho”. 

Indeed Mapho is able to tell us where they are. They are two hours away from where we are. But that just means that the state has not stuck to their word. We are all thinking the same thing. In no time, Banathi, Mnqobi, Khabane, and myself head into the court guns blazing!