Senzi and I are leaving KZN today. My mom let us use her Maserati to travel. It’s so comfortable and we both enjoy it so much. Bab’Khotso said Senzi and I should keep the car and that he will buy another car for my mother. I actually looked at Senzi and told him to take notes. That’s what a husband does. He just laughed. 

We leave Mtubatuba at 6am because I want to go to Gateway in Durban first. I want to go and get a wig installed. Senzi keeps asking me what he’s going to do while I install my wig. I told him that he will just wait for me. So as we are driving now, I hear him talking to his brother, Ntuthuko, that they will meet at Gateway. 

He actually has a good relationship with his brothers – Ntuthuko and Akwande. Akwande is young. He’s still in school. He’s younger than Lefatselabarena. But they are all close so I’m also quite close with them. Mam’Refiloe is also quite aggressive in involving herself in our lives. She phones me every day. Like… every damn day. Not even my mom phones me like she does. She wanted us to go shopping together for Morafe’s wedding. First of all, I’m a bridesmaid. And after spending a night at my mom’s house, Senzi is dropping me off at Morafe’s home then going to sleep over at his dad’s house. All my outfits and all that other jazz is already sorted. And she’s always disappointed when I decline her offers to do stuff together. She really doesn’t need to try this hard. Senzi appreciates it though. He keeps saying that I shouldn’t be annoyed with her, she’s just trying to make the best out of a weird situation. 

I am most proud of Senzi and how he lets his father and brothers in. Senzi’s dad tries every day to connect with him and Senzi lets him. I think Senzi is most appreciative of how Bab’Shaka embraces him. He’s even asked us to move to the kingdom. Imagine! And Senzi is actually considering it. But I also had to remind him that he needs to close the loop with his mother. He really does. His mother phones my mom and sends her text messages on a regular. I even spotted her at Senzi’s ceremony in Mtubatuba. But she kept her distance. Senzi was so cold towards her, and she was genuinely hurt. 

Senzi has a sister who lives in LA. Her name is Luhle. We met her for the first time when we had the ceremony in Tholoana Kingdom – at Senzi’s dad’s house. I found her to be very rude. Very rude. At first, I thought it’s because Ntuthuko would not stop calling her sdudla. I mean, she is quite gifted in meat all around her body. But she doesn’t look like the typically confident big woman who embraces her giftedness. So, being called sdudla would just trigger her. Yoh but she wasn’t only rude to Ntuthuko. She was rude to Mam’Refiloe, to me, to Akwande and she was the most rude to her father, Bab’Shaka. Yerrr… she looks like a walking ticking time bomb. She would probably bomb all of us one day. Then she went on and on about how she no longer needs anymore siblings. Her father doesn’t know how to be a dad to anyone who’s not birthed by Mam’Refiloe. She even calls her Refiloe straight to her face. She’s really tense. Then when she takes it too far, Ntuthuko would just gaslight her and say, “you are too fat to be this passionate. What will we do if you have a heart attack and faint? Who’s going to carry you? Do you see how big you are?!” 

Yoh, girl threw a glass at him and it cut some skin off his shoulder. It was just a lot. She was just a lot. She doesn’t know how to be with me. I don’t give her a place ukuthi angihlanyele. So, she and I are just cordial. Bab’Shaka and Mam’Refiloe have just given up on her all together nje. 

We finally arrive at Gateway. We park the car, hold hands then make our way to the salon that I have my appointment at. Ntuthuko is at the entrance of the mall already waiting for us. 

“Small”, Ntuthuko greets Senzi.

“Grootman. Ugrand?” Senzi says to him.

“Ngishup. Ngiyafa nje indlala. Yerrr!” Ntuthuko.

“Let’s go leave Wandi at her salon then we will go and eat.” Senzi.

“Mfazi kabhuti… ugrand?” Ntuthuko greets me.

“Ngiyaphila. Ushup wena bhuti?” Me.

“I’m good. You know people glue hair in the kingdom as well, right? We don’t have to do that here specifically.” Ntuthuko.

“I know. Kodwa I’m literally going to have one day to chill. After that, I’ll be within bridesmaid duties. This is the only time that I actually have to do my hair. “I explain myself.

“Manje doesn’t the glue melt? Yaz, I’m interested. So ivele ihlale nje ithi nca until you are tired of it?”

Senzi actually laughs. I don’t have the energy to engage on this topic. 

“You must ask the hair lady who will be doing my hair when we get to the salon”, I say.

But he keeps the questions coming. Wow! And this guy will be with us at the wedding because Senzi doesn’t want to be alone while I be a bridesmaid at the wedding. Kusazobainteresting. 

…

I relaxed my hair first before doing the cornrows then “glue-d” my hair as Ntuthuko puts it. Now we are leaving Gateway and are headed to the kingdom. I’m sitting in the backseat because Ntuthuko is sitting in the passenger seat and Senzi is driving. I actually plan to sleep. I even bought a headscarf after doing my hair so I can keep my hair neat while I sleep. I have a fleece blanket with me. 

The drive is nice. The two brothers are talking absolute nonsense. I’m lying down at the back with my eyes closed, but I’m not asleep because their conversation keeps making me laugh. 

Ntuthuko: “You must see my banking app. It looks like the payroll of some company. It’s my baby-mamas lined up for payment every month as well as whenever they run out of shit or shit comes up mid-month and they didn’t budget for emergencies. Yerrr.”

Senzi: “Kanti how much do you pay them a month?”

Ntuthuko: “Much more than what our parents used to raise us every month. I pay them 12k a month.” 

Yoh! 

Senzi: “Ndoda, that’s a whole salary.” 

Ntuthuko: “You see why I could never move out of dad’s place? I don’t have the luxury of being able to afford a one-bedroom nyana.”

Senzi: “Manje where do you tap them?” 

Ntuthuko: “At their houses. At hotels. Or I sneak them into dad’s place. But they know that they have to leave before uMaphumulo avuka. He’d murder both the girl and me.”

Senzi laughs. I just chuckle under my breath. Yaz uNtuthuko is a character and a half. 

Ntuthuko: “How did you and umakoti meet?” 

Senzi: “At a party”.

Ntuthuko: “You party? Wena?! Kanti ndoda, aren’t you umfundisi?”

Senzi: “Manje? I’m still a human being and I still like to have a good time like the next person.”

Ntuthuko: “So at parties, you don’t just stand in a corner and judge people or pray for people. Like you actually pick up huns and fuck them ngoba igazi liyagijima?” 

I don’t like this question.

Senzi: “I have a good time at parties without picking up people and having sex with them. I respect my wife.”

Good baby!

Ntuthuko: “So you’ve never cheated on her?”

Hai bo!

Senzi: “No.”

Ntuthuko: “Like ever?!”

Senzi: “Ever!”

Ntuthuko: “So in the last how ever many years you’ve been with her, she’s all you’ve ever had?”

What’s Ntuthuko’s problem?! 

Senzi: “For the past seven years, I’ve only ever been with Wandisa Xolile Buthelezi.”

Ntuthuko: “Ndoda, don’t you see other women?”

I’m very uncomfortable now. Maybe I should wake up so the conversation could stop.

Senzi: “I’m a man. Of course, I see them. I work in aviation. Flight attendants throw themselves at me all the time. Those girls at church throw themselves at me all the time. But my biggest fear is Wandi cheating on me because I work so much. Phela when I do international flights, I’m sometimes gone for three weeks straight. When I come home and I find my wife just there waiting for me, happy to see me… I know she’s worth it and I recommit myself to never being an unfaithful and untrustworthy man to her. NgiyamthandauWandisa. I honour her. I love her the way that God loves the church. I want to be her answered prayers and nothing less.” 

Now I’m moved. I just want to wake up and kiss him.

Ntuthuko: “You made this decision for a girl you met at a party? How well was she twerking on your dick, bafo?”

Then there’s Ntuthuko ruining the moment. 

They both laugh then Senzi says, “we had decided to go clubbing… my classmates and me. It was our final year at aviation school, and we just thought it was cool to go out in our aviation jackets because the girls would go wild when we stepped in. We outplayed the regular guy any day in a club.”

Ntuthuko: “You guys were basically the gusheshe of the place nje.”

Senzi laughs then says, “Something like that.”

I even chuckle under my breath here.

Senzi continues, “I remember this one girl making her way to the bar to order a drink. Yerrrrr bafo… time stood still. My eyes were so glued to her that I didn’t even notice another girl twerking on my dick the minute I stepped into the club.”

They laugh. Even me, I chuckle a bit.

Senzi: “I stood next to her at the bar, hoping to get her attention. She gave me none of it. I even paid for the drink that she had ordered. She said thanks and disappeared into the club again.”

Ntuthuko: “What?! Uyanya! Ubhadale idrink yakhe?! She doesn’t even leave you with a name nyana? Number? Zero?”

Senzi: “Nix. I didn’t even have fun that night, bafo. I kept looking for her nje. I’d keep going to the toilet to try see if I’d bump into her. Nix. Ah, at 2am, we had to bounce. And as we stepped out of the club, she was there. Upset. And waiting for an Uber. That was my chance. I just had to. I stood next to her. She just looked at me. I asked her if she was okay. She told me she was leaving because a guy tried to rape her and that she still had a drug in her system. So, she wanted to go home so that by the time she lost her senses, she’d be in her own bed.”

Ntuthuko: “The fuck?!”

He’s not lying. That’s the night my trauma almost relived itself. I would have died if Senzi didn’t find me that day.

Senzi: “Amanye amadoda are an embarrassment to humankind. But anyway… I told her I’d take her to a hospital. I told her she could take my picture and send it to her parents if she didn’t trust me. But I wasn’t going to hurt her, and I gave her my word. She trusted me. She let me take her to the hospital. I slept there next to her hospital bed all morning. The doctors managed to get the drug out of her system. Then the police came to take her statement. When she described the guy, it was one of the guys that I had arrived with from the aviation school.”

Ntuthuko: “Hhayi Ndoda! Manje uyishisile lentwana to the cops?”

Senzi: “Yeah! I have no mercy on that kind of behaviour! Sies! When she got discharged from hospital, she took me out to lunch to thank me for helping her and for not hiding my friend. After lunch, I took her back to res where she stayed. She was also a student at the time. First year student. I got her number and her name that day. Today she’s my wife.”

Ntuthuko: “Manje intwana yakho eyaboshwa?”

Senzi: “He got arrested. But his parents paid a lot of money to make the case go away. But he wasn’t allowed to finish and qualify as a pilot. Then he killed himself”. 

Ntuthuko: “Hai wena! Mos he could’ve just driven a taxi. Why is a plane so special?”

Senzi laughs aloud. I also almost laugh aloud! Yoh! Ntuthuko is an unmatched character shame. 

I eventually fall asleep because they start talking about football. The juicy stuff is done.

…

I wake up as we drive into the Maphumulo mansion. We are dropping Ntuthuko off first then we go and sleep over at my mom’s place. Yoh, I miss her.

I phone my mom to update her while Ntuthuko smokes outside and Senzi stretches. The call takes about five minutes then we head into the house. I don’t know what Ntuthuko does with his zol.

We greet Mam’Refiloe, Bab’Shaka and Akwande. They are all sitting in the kitchen. Mam’Refiloe is cooking and the two men are just sitting with her chatting up a storm. 

“Nihambe njani?” Bab’Shaka asks us.

Senzi is the one who expresses that the trip was good, but we all just want to sleep now because tomorrow they are taking me to Maja Perre. 

“Can I go with you this time?” Akwande says. 

“Sure. Mara siyahamba bese siyabuya.” Ntuthuko.

“Hai guys, you’ll end up in an accident or causing accidents. You need to rest! I’ll book you into a hotel, nilale then come back the day after tomorrow”. Mam’Refiloe says. 

Senzi and Ntuthuko nod their heads. I see Bab’Shaka smiling at them. 

Luhle walks into the kitchen and the mood is instantly TENSE! 

Can Senzi and I please just go?! Please?!

“Sdudla, sawubona nakuwe. Asilalanga nawe.” Ntuthuko.

Listen… she already looks like she’s in a bad mood. Why is Ntuthuko gas-lighting her?!

“Hi”, she says and carries on with whatever she’s doing. 

Mam’Refiloe looks like she’s about to cry. I wonder what happened before we got here. 

“Luhle, when are you going back to LA?” Bab’Shaka.

“Yini?! I’m no longer welcome here?!” She replies with hectic attitude.

“You don’t look like you want to be here. All you do from the minute that you wake up right up until you go to sleep is piss people off and make us uncomfortable in our own home. You seem very pressed to leave so I’m wondering ukuthi uhamba nini.” Bab’Shaka.

This is so uncomfortable.

“Ngoba uRefiloe uyakhala nyana, kumele –

“LUHLE!”

We all jump in shock.

“THIS IS MY HOUSE! REFILOE IS MY WIFE! NGEKE SIZWE NGAWE LANA! UCQOKA THINA! ULALA THINA! UDLA THINA! THEN YOU DISRESPECT US LIKE THIS, YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD! Do you think you are that entitled to my money?! That no matter how much you disrespect my wife and I, I’ll never cut you off?! Umdala ungaka you can’t even look after yourself! Uziphatha ngathi uyintanga ka-Akwande!”

“If you cut me off, I’ll never speak to you again.” Luhle the brave.

“Oh please! You can’t even make a dramatic exit without my money. You’ll leave that car in my driveway, leave the very clothes on your body and leave with what you can afford – NOTHING!”

“Then I’ll kill myself!”

Hai bo! 

“Go for it! You’ll save me a lot of headaches and money. I’m paying for a house and a car in LA. You still ask me for an allowance for I don’t know what because you can’t keep a job for longer than five minutes. So, who do you think will benefit the most from your death?!”

“Shaka!” Mam’Refiloe tries.

“Thula wena, Refiloe. Why are you acting like you don’t enjoy what’s happening because this is exactly what you want!” What’s wrong with Luhle?!

Bab’Shaka now has a gun against Luhle’s head. I’m holding onto Senzi because I’m shitscared. He’s holding me. Ntuthuko stands in front of Mam’Refiloe, almost defending her from the scene before us. 

“Baba, you are pulling out a gun on me? Me?! What would my mother say, Baba?! What would your true love – the love of your life, Kenosi Maphumulo, say about your shooting me because of some skank who has recklessly come into our family to destroy our bond?” 

Lord, please save me from stepchildren such as this one. No one deserves a stepdaughter like this unless they are the wicked witch of the west herself. And Mam’Refiloe is not that. She doesn’t deserve this. 

Bab’Shaka cocks his gun. I feel my blood coldly running through my body.

“Shaka, sthandwa sami… please.” Mam’Refiloe tries to stop what we are all very scared to witness.

Luhle is now shit scared. We even see her pants getting wet. I think she’s pee-ing in her pants.

“Apologise to my wife, right now!” Bab’Shaka. 

Luhle is so scared she says, “Ngiyaxolisa.”

“Uxolisa kubani?” Bab’Shaka.

“Ngiyaxolisa Sis’Fifi.” Luhle.

Bab’Shaka removes the gun from her head. 

We all release a sigh of relief.

“Ntuthuko… Senzangakhona… Akwande… get this person out of my face and out of my house. When you come back to this house, she better be on a plane back to LA. And wenaLuhle, you’ll move into an apartment and out of that house that I’ve been paying for eyikuhlanyisayo. I’m also taking your car away. You want luxuries in life, you can work for them. Umdala mawungaka. You have hands that work and feet that can carry you anywhere. I’m only paying for that apartment for one year. After that, uzobona ukuthi uphuma njani.” Bab’Shaka says.

I’m wondering what I’ll be doing in the meantime. 

“Baba-

“Sengiqedile ukukhuluma, Luhle. Uzohamba kahle.” Bab’Shaka says then makes his way upstairs.

I’m so shook.

What version of discipline is this?!

…

Ntuthuko and I are on our way to the airport with Luhle and Akwande. We are going to drop Luhle off. I don’t even know if she has a plane ticket or what. We are using Ntuthuko’s BMW black X6 – the M-Performance version. It’s a nice car. I can’t even ask him about the specs of this car because this ride is tense. Akwande just has headsets on. I wish I were him. But something tells me that I don’t have the luxury of putting headsets on. Ntuthuko is driving. I’m not sure what my role is here. And I’m not sure if Wandi is comfortable where she is.

I’m still confused about my dad carrying a gun – never mind pulling one on his only daughter. That man is intense. 

But right now, I’m going to address the one elephant in the room because no one seems to be addressing this.

“Luhle, do you have a flight ticket?” I ask her.

“Cha. Ubaba didn’t buy me one.” She says. She’s sobbing.

I’m going to assume that she probably doesn’t have cash to buy one herself. 

“Would you like me to organise one for you?” I enquire.

“I’d be very grateful, bhuti.” She says. She’s still sobbing as she says this.

I get on my cellphone and start organising a ticket for her. Thank God for my staff discounts because a ticket to LA is not cheap. 

I manage to get her a flight for tonight. I tell her and she says thank you. 

We get to the airport and Ntuthuko parks at the drop off.

“Are we not going to walk her in?” I ask him.

“As old as she is?” Ntuthuko. Why do people treat her like this? 

“Hai bo, Ndoda. Asingene naye.” I say.

“Ngeke alahleke lo muntu”, Ntuthuko.

“Ja, but I need to go swipe my access card so she can get her ticket and at least get into the slow lounge so she can eat and have a drink before she boards her flight.” I say. 

Ntuthuko looks annoyed, but he goes to park his car and we make our way into the airport. I hold her luggage and give Akwande her carry-on luggage. Ntuthuko is not involving himself. Luhle won’t stop crying. Yoh, I should’ve stayed eMtubatuba.

–

We get back to the house just after 8pm. Wandi told me, via WhatsApp, that we were bulldozed into sleeping over. Apparently, my dad has the “Wandi is the makoti, I’m not Phuthi’s makoti” mentality. In the spirit of building a relationship with him and his wife – especially after what we had just witnessed, Wandi just agreed that we’d sleep over. I wish she didn’t. And I would have definitely said no. Wandi misses her mother. The past month has been all about me. She has been so selfless. She slept everywhere my dad told us to sleep and had no complaints. She followed every single rule there was for her to follow – even when I didn’t agree with that shit – and didn’t complain. Now she can’t even get one day to go home and be with her mom?! This is rubbish and this is one thing I’m not going to tolerate. No one is going to treat my wife like that and I don’t want Shaka Maphumulo to get too comfortable in that mentality when it comes to us. Angidlali naye. Not when it comes to my wife. He can even shoot me if he wants to. But I promised Wandi I’d be chilled about it. She begged me to not fight it. I’m not happy but hey.

“Nihambe kahle?” Mam’Fifi asks Ntuthuko, Akwande and I.

“Sihambe kahle, Mah.” Ntuthuko.

“Did you guys buy her a ticket or did you just leave her there?” Mam’Fifi.

“Bhut’Senzi used his pilot connections to buy her a ticket and access to the slow lounge so she could eat and drink before boarding her flight”, Akwande. 

“Thank you so much, Senzi.” Mam’Fifi.

“No problem, Mah.” I say. 

I hug Wandi, kissing her even. I don’t care if I’m being inappropriate.

“You good?” I ask her.

“Yeah, I’m good. Wena?” 

I kiss her then say, “Just tired. But I’m good.”

We hug.

“Yaz, I need to find a wife. Nami, I want to be loved like this.” Ntuthuko says. 

We all laugh.

My dad walks into the entry room that we all find ourselves in. 

“Oh, nibuyile?” My dad.

“Babuyile. And Ntuthuko is telling us that he wants a wife.” Mam’Fifi says.

My arms are wrapped around Wandi and we are swinging from side to side, looking at everyone else. 

“You do need a wife. Hai le nto yakho yokuthi uzale okwekati.” My dad says.

“Eish baba, it’s not easy. Abafazi baphelile. Sekusele laba nje that you can’t marry.” Ntuthuko says.

“Khona getting married is a big decision. But if someone is not good enough to be your wife, how do you find her good enough to give you kids? You’ve got nothing good to say about any of your baby-mamas”, my dad.

“Senzi will hook me up with a flight attendant”, Ntuthuko.

“Those ones are worse. The wife materials are all taken. The rest are just trying to get a meal on an international trip, so they handle themselves in very questionable ways.” I say.

“There has to be someone, bafo. There has to be.” He says.

“I’ll hook you up with someone. But if you hurt her…” Wandi.

“Who baby?” I ask her.

Even Ntuthuko is interested. My parents are laughing. I’m not sure where Akwande went.

“Tamia”, she says.

“Oh ja. Yaz I didn’t think of her at all.” I say.

“Yeah. I mean naye she’s ready to meet new people. She’s coming to Morafe’s wedding. We will blind-date them there”, Wandi.

“Is she nice?” Ntuthuko enquires. 

“She is. She’s very beautiful. Igama lakhe lesintu is Nonkanyiso. But she studied overseas and no one could pronounce her name, so she’s just used her second name ever since. She’s a corporate attorney. She doesn’t have any kids. She lives a decent life, likes to travel and is full of life nje.” Wandi.

“Manje how would she feel about being an instant step-mother? And not just to one child. Ntuthuko has four children with four different women.” My dad.

“Ai baba, lapho ke uNtuthuko kuzomele azikhulumele and show her that he’s worth it. She doesn’t have an issue with kids, kodwa idrama is her deal-breaker. Drama and infidelity. So if I introduce you, Ntuthuko, wazi ukuthi isikhathi sokudlala siphelile.” Wandi.

We all look at Ntuthuko. He’s not too sure about this. 

Wandi shows him a picture of Tamia. He smiles at the picture. 

“So? Must I organise?” Wandi.

“Okay.” Ntuthuko.

My parents are honestly in stitches. 

Wandi and I are in my room now. Everyone is asleep. We are having sex. It’s nice. It’s beautiful. Our hearts and souls have always been in sync. I love this woman with all of my heart. There’s no room for anyone else in my heart. 

She climbs on top of me and she serves me sexually. I can’t help but close my eyes because whatever is happening to me is a prayer… a song that is being written. Something that only Wandi can bring out of me. I’m in love. I really am. I’d say yes to Wandi over and over again. I can’t wait to marry her. 

We finish happily and satisfied with each other. Now we lie next to each other. I spoon her. We lie here naked and euphoric.

Her cellphone rings. 

She reaches for it. I’m kissing her back. 

She shows me her cellphone.

It’s my mother. 

“I’m answering”, she says.

I nod my head. 

She answers and puts the cellphone on loudspeaker.

Wandi: “Hello Lady Laura”. 

My mom: “Wandisa, where’s my son? And why isn’t he taking my calls or even calling me? What have you done to my son?!”

Wandi is so stuck and shocked. I was actually beginning to feel bad about taking a break from my mother. Now she’s just extended my need to take a break from her.

Me: “Mom, hello.”

My mom: “Senzangakhona! I understand that you’ve just found out about your father and you are going through everything there is to go through with such things. But I think you’ve more than had your time to be dramatic now. I’ve given you all the space that you need. Now you need to come back and resume your duties in the church.”

I actually laugh. She has some nerve.

My mom: “I want you back here first thing tomorrow morning!” 

Me: “I’ll be back when I’m ready to be back. You are lucky I’m not quitting. You have some nerve bullying my wife and me like this after everything that you’ve done to put us in this position. You don’t get to tell us or give us a deadline on how or when we should deal with what you put us through.”

I hang up.

Wandi and I look at each other. 

“Your mother really hates me neh?! I mean what does she think I’ll do to you?! I love you.” Wandi says to me. 

Before I can even respond to her, there is a loud bang on the door downstairs. 

Wandi and I get dressed then make our way down the stairs. My dad, Ntuthuko and Mam’Fifi are already here… facing my mother who is looking very… “Senzangakhona, I’ve come to fetch you. Siyahamba manje!” My mom.

“I’m not going anywhere with you! And I told you this. Why are you here?” Me.

“You think this man is better than me? Huh?! You think him and this pretty little thing on his arm are better parents than me?! Did he tell you what he does for a living?! How this house and all his wealth is built?! How even our very church is a multi-billion organisation?! Did he tell you all of those things?!” 

I look at my dad. 

“Laura, I’m warning you!” My dad.

“Uzokwenzani?! Uzong’bulala?! In front of my son?! I know you are very capable wena. It’s one of the many things I found to be sexy about you – leaving your wife so we could make our handsome son together. Unapologetically so.”

My dad is restraining himself so badly. You can just tell that if we were not here, my mom’s life would be hanging on a thread. 

“I want my child, Shaka! I’m not leaving here without my son!” My mom barks. 

“He’s a grown man. That decision is his to make.” My dad.

“Fine. But let’s put all the cards on the table here so he knows that if he stays with you, he’s staying with an animal. There’s a reason that I kept you away.” My mom.

“Apparently it wasn’t reason enough for you to not beg him for a child”, Mam’Fifi says.

“Excuse me?! Who do you think you are talking to?!” My mom, charging towards Mam’Fifi.

“I’m talking to you! You come into my house like a demon and cause havoc for no reason. Ucabanga ukuthi ngizokuyeka? Kukwami la!” Mam’Fifi says. 

My mom tries to slap Mam’Fifi but Mam’Fifi catches her hand as if she was expecting that slap. My dad is impressed. Honestly, so am I. 

Mam’Fifi physically drags my mother, kicking and screaming, out of the house. Then she shuts the door in my mom’s face. She turns around and stares at us. We all look at her. 

“Back to bed! Everyone! Shaka, you keep your baby mamas out of my house or else… ho tlo nkga ho sa bola!” 

Then she storms off.