“BANG!” 

I jump immediately and my first instinct is to check if Thomas is still next to me. He is not. I was really hoping that I heard that bang in my dreams. Where is my boyfriend and why is someone shooting a gun my house? 

I hear my daughter crying. 

Oh shit!

I jump out of bed and run into her nursery. She is alone and is crying. I quickly grab her and hold her close to my chest. As I try to calm her down, Thomas comes into the nursery, seemingly running away from something. He stops and releases a sigh of relief when he sees our daughter in my arms. 

“What’s going on?” I ask him. 

“I’m sorting something out. I’m sorry I woke you guys up”, he says. 

“Thomas, why was there a gun shot in my house?” I furiously ask him. 

“I need you to calm down and calm my child down. I’ll be back in bed soon”, he says. 

Thomas is actually full of shit. Am I really expected to accept that? Who does he think he is? He will know me today. 

He disappears before I can enquire further. 

Rofhiwa is a lot calmer now, so I put her pacifier in her mouth, put a blanket over her and start tip-toeing downstairs where I hear arguing. I stand at the bottom of the staircase, just behind a pillar and I hear the conversation. 

“Listen here, Thomas, we didn’t bring Kique and Camilla to your company just so they can have pretty titles and oversee some random work. The instructions were clear and your brothers are on board. Kique and Camilla are Sinaloa’s finest. Product should be up by eight percent by now. The pope is asking questions that we do not have answers to. Or would you rather deal with one of the bishops instead?” Some man says. 

Wait a minute! Kique and Camilla came into the company. We were told that they have international experience and they will take the company to the next level. I told Thomas that we were not in a position for new hires because the company was not doing well. But he insisted that Camilla and Kique would bring us a good return on investment.

“We need to remove Mthunzi. He is the problem.” I hear Kique say. That accent of his is very hard to miss. Camilla’s accent is just as strong, but Kique’s is on the verge of making English sound Spanish. 

“Don’t touch Msomi. He’s done nothing. He’s just a good man doing things by the book”, Thomas defends Mthunzi. 

What are these people talking about? I still want to know where the gunshot came from.

“Then distract him! I’m losing patience here, Ramaru. You need to remember that your company would have collapsed without our help. Pearl wiped you clean when you started fucking that bitch you gave Pearl’s life to. She took you for everything and you saw none of it. If it wasn’t for our help, she would have taken your company with her. I expect you to keep your end of the deal”, the random man says. 

What did Pearl do? 

I walk into the kitchen now. They are all shocked to see me. 

“I told you to stay upstairs!” Thomas yells. 

“My daughter is hungry”, I say and make my way to her bottles. The room is silent, but I can feel the heaviness of whatever is going on here. As I am pacing about in the kitchen getting Rofhiwa’s bottle ready, I see blood coming from underneath the door that leads to the garage. I look at it. 

“I’ll bring the bottle upstairs. I need you to go back upstairs”, Thomas startles me and says. 

“Why is there blood under this door? Whose blood is it?” I ask him. I’m not blinking and there is no fear in my throat. 

Thomas looks at me. 

“Thomas!” I loudly exclaim. 

“If you could just listen to me this one time- 

I’m already opening the door before he finishes his sentence. He tries to catch me, but a body is already lying at my feet. I hold on tighter to my child. 

“Thomas, what the hell is going on here?” I ask him. 

“I need you to do as I say.” He says. 

“What did Pearl do?” I ask.

“Excuse me?” 

“What did Pearl do that has you killing people in our kitchen while your daughter is upstairs sleeping and has dangerous Mexican people threatening you in the still of the night to move product for them?” 

Thomas is shocked at how much I know. 

“Thomas!” I yell. He jumps. Rofhiwa cries. He tries to take Rofhiwa from me,but I keep her glued to me. Thomas and I are now starting at each other. He is still not saying anything. 

I make my way upstairs and lock the nursery. I breastfeed Rofhiwa. As soon as she burps, I put her back in her crib then start packing her things. I pack as much as I can into the Polo traveling bag that I find in here. Then I take out a second Polo traveling bag and I make my way to my closet where I pack my things. When I am done, I take my child and put her on my back, wrapping her on my back with a towel. I pull the two bags down the stairs. I go back up to get my laptop bag and my handbag. These have all that I need. Thomas is nowhere to be found, which makes this easier for me. 

I load the bags in the white Porsche Cayenne that Thomas bought for me as a push present. I put my baby in her car seat and I drive out. There is only one place that I can be safe and that is where I head to: my parents’ house in Bassonia. 

…

My mom loves being a grandmother. It is so weird. She is so happy with Rofhiwa being here. My dad too. They fuss over her so much, I haven’t touched her since we arrived. They haven’t asked me why I’m here or how long I’m staying. They are just happy that Rofhiwa is here and they are smothering her with love. I’m happy, but I also need them to pay me some attention. 

My phone rings. It’s Thomas. I guess he has finally noticed that I’ve left and I’ve taken our daughter with me. I don’t answer his call. I actually turn off my phone. 

I get into bed and fall fast asleep. 

I wake up at midday. Rofhiwa is sleeping. My mom must have put her to sleep. My beautiful baby. I shower then make my way to the pool. I just want to sit there and soak up the sun. 

Oh hell! 

Thomas is here. He is chatting and laughing about with my parents. I forgot to brief my parents that we hate him for now, so I have to play along with his happy family shit. 

“I know you said you missed your parents and wanted to spend some time here with them. But I miss you and Rofhi so much already”, Thomas says. 

I smile. 

“You have attachment issues, Ramaru”, I say.

My parents laugh, but my mom is watching our interaction very carefully. She suspects that something is off and she doesn’t hide it.

“If you had already paid lobola, we would let you stay over for a few days with them. For now, you’ll have to do the daily trips. It’s good for Lydia to be here. This is her first child and she needs all the help and support that she can get”, my mom says. 

“I thought we’d also go to Venda. They haven’t met Rofhiwa yet.” Thomas says.

“Unfortunately for them, this child is a Khalo, not a Ramaru. We want our cows for damages and lobola on this coffee table before you can come into my house and make demands like that”, my mom says. 

“And they are coming. I told you this”, Thomas. 

“Until then, Lydia and Rofhiwa stay here.” My mom. 

Thomas looks at me, hoping that I will say something to dispute what my mom is saying. But, I don’t like Thomas very much right now. So, I am silent.

“Can we talk? Somewhere private?” Thomas says to me. 

I lead him outside by the pool. My parents just drink their tea. 

“And then? You just leave without saying anything”, he starts.

“Are you ready to tell me what was going on this morning?” Me.

“Is this what this is about? This is your way of aggressively getting what you want?” 

“Getting what I want? My life and the life of my daughter is in danger in that house and you think I have time to play pissing games with you?” 

We are both upset. But he finally backs down.

“Pearl started making deals on behalf of the company and signing the profits to her name. She was securing an exit plan for herself, making sure that financially, she doesn’t suffer. She’s always known about us. I guess she knew that the divorce was coming and she did all that she could to take care of herself. We almost lost the company in the process. When this came to our attention, I opened a case against her and all her assets were frozen. There is an ongoing investigation taking place, but I can’t get any of that money back until the investigation is concluded. I needed a lot of money and I needed it fast. So, I got help from men who move drugs and guns into this country. My brothers and I agreed to work with them for a year. We are just working back the money that they loaned us. Then we will be okay again.” Thomas explains. 

“We can ask my parents for help”, I say. It is weird that I am not shaken by this. I just want us to be okay and move past this. I know that my parents can help us.

“No. My girlfriend’s parents are not going to bail me out of financial trouble. In fact I’d prefer it if they knew nothing”, he says.

“They are my parents and they are a less dangerous option than those Mexican fucks”, I say.

“The answer is no, my love. Let’s do this my way, please”, he says. He is calm,but the things coming out of his mouth are scary. 

I take a deep sigh then I say, “What can I do to help?” 

“You can come back home and let me take care of you and our daughter. And maybe you can even make me another baby”. 

LOL! I literally laugh aloud. He smiles at me.

“Come here”, he says. 

I find myself wrapped in his arms. 

Yes, you guessed it, Palesa blows up my phone on a public holiday while I’m wrapped up in my man’s arms.