So, someone gave Nandi and Reahile mine and Senzi’s number. We were phoned at 03:30am to be told they are on their way to pick us up. Senzi and I begrudgingly got up and got ready for the day. My mom and Bab’Khotso woke up to help us get ready. They were laughing at how tired we were mostly though. At 03:45am, the gate phoned us and asked us if we know who these people are and that we should send them a code so they could get in. Bab’Khotso sent the code to them. They were outside at 03:55am. Senzi and I had planned to sleep in the car while we make our way to the hiking trail. But, Senzi sat in front with Reahile. A guy named Khabane sat a seat behind them. I sat at the back with Nandi and Khanyisa. All these people wanted to do was talk. I wanted to cry! 

But I was up by 04:30am because the music was pumping and the chatter was loud. The six of us used Bab’Khotso’s Mercedes-Benz V300. It was a very comfortable drive. 

We arrive at the hiking trail at 05:45am. Only us ladies have bags. Each bag has hiking snacks, cash and cellphones. This place is BEAUTIFUL! 

“We are running the trail, right?” Nandi says. 

I actually want to smack her. Why would anyone run a hike?

“How long is it?” Khanyi asks. 

“25km. We can run the first ten at least then walk the rest”, Nandi. 

Listen, she’s hot. Her body nje tells you that even that 10km is a slow down for her. I think I’ll just walk with the guys. 

“Kodwa uWandi uphukile nje“, Khanyi says. I don’t think she wants to run this thing neither. Thank God I have my moonboot. It’s saving us. 

Nandi looks at me as if she wants to ask me how bad the injury is. Ok’salayo it’s an injury. Please. I’m not running a hike with it. 

The guys come back with the wrist bands we need to wear to show that we have paid to kill ourselves on this trail. I thought this was going to be something cute. It kinda feels like a boot camp.

“Are you good?” Senzi asks me as he puts my wristband around my wrist.

I nod my head and say, “I am. Nandi wants to run this thing. I just want to go back and sleep in the car.”

He laughs and says, “you can always walk with me.”

“I’ll be fine. How are the guys?” I ask him.

“They are really cool people. I like them”, he says.

We smile at each other. 

I know he made a connection with Bab’Khotso. He told me about their chat. I really appreciate Bab’Khotso and my mom for hosting us. This is actually the break we both need. 

“Senzi, we are doing the 15km.” Reahile says to him. 

“Manje why are we doing 25?” Khanyisa asks a very valid question. 

“We also don’t know.” Khabane.

“If we do 15km, we run it”, Nandi.

What is it with this girl and running? Is she an athlete or something? 

“I can’t run. My ankle is still healing”, I say.

She gives me that look again… but this time, it’s as if she wants to ask me why I even came on this hike.

“And I’m recovering from childbirth”, Khanyisa says.

“Your kid is nine months now. There’s no way you are still recovering from that”, Nandi.

“I had a c-section”, she says. 

Is that supposed to mean something?

I giggle anyway. 

“Fine. I’ll do the 25km. I’ll run it then meet you guys where the trails come together, then I’ll walk the rest with you”, Nandi says.

We all happily cheer her on. 

The hike starts. 

Khanyisa and I are walking behind the guys. They – Senzi included – are busy asking Reahile why he didn’t give Nandi sex to tire her out of the running. He says he gave her sex all night, but he’s the tired one and she’s just more energized. Khanyisa and I find ourselves laughing.

“You are a new mommy? Congratulations”, I say to her.

“Thanks. This one is my third and last one.” She says.

“Third?!” Me.

She looks so young! Probably my age! 

“Yeah”, she says then she laughs.

“I don’t even have one yet”, I say.

“Do you want any?” She asks me.

“I do. But we haven’t really spoken about it and we are currently going through some family stuff. So if we can maybe get through that, then I’ll bring it up. It would be selfish of me to bring it up now”, I say.

“I hear you. It was a bit difficult for us. We had a miscarriage in our first year of marriage. It took us three years to try again because we were so scared. But once the first one came, the rest just rolled in. And there’s a one year gap between them.” 

“YOH! KHANYISA! HOW ARE YOU STILL SANE?!” 

We both burst into laughter. The guys look at us then focus on their conversation again. 

“Girl! I have three boys under four years old! I’m even done with myself right now!”

We both laugh.

“But we are happy. Bane and I got married young. I was twenty-one when we got married. So we had our time together. So take your time and enjoy your marriage, babe. You’ll miss this once the kids start rolling in”, she says.

“I hear you.” I say. 

“What happened to your ankle?” She asks me.

I look at her then I start laughing.

She looks at me with an enquiring eye, then says, “what?” 

“My mother-in-law walked in on us about to have sex on the kitchen island. I got shocked, fell off the island half naked and ended up with a messed-up ankle.” 

She looks at me. We BURST into laughter. 

“I’d probably be broken too. I love my mother-in-love, but just being caught in that position by her would ruin my chances of ever looking her in the eye.” She says. 

We laugh so hard.

“It’s weird because Bane is a bit of a freak and he wants us to do it all over his parents’ house. When I’m super scared to even touch him in front of his parents, he tells me that they are still rabbits themselves. Honestly, I can’t think about them like that.” 

We just laugh. 

She’s actually such a cool and chilled person. I really like her. 

We get to some waterfall at 8km into our hike. Nandi is already here taking selfies. She looks like she’s been here for a while. 

Now the six of us take pictures together. 

“Sis”, Reahile says and he’s staring at me! Everyone looks at me as well because I’m shocked. I didn’t realise that we were now officially siblings like that. 

“Hmmm?” I finally answer. 

“Pops is asking is he should send an ambulance for your ankle yet”, he says. 

These people laugh. He’s actually on the phone.

“I’m still fine. I just haven’t walked this long in a while, so I’m taking a quick break.” I say.

“You sure? We can always turn around and go back”, Reahile.

“That doesn’t make sense, Reahile. Going back is another 8km so that’s 16km in total. Moving forward is much better than going backwards at this point”, Nandi. 

“I’m fine guys, I promise.” Me. I mean why did she have to respond to her husband like that? 

“Pops, we will chill a bit then finish the hike. We will phone you when we are done”, Reahile says over the phone.

…

“Shup”, Reahile says then hangs up. 

Khanyisa and I are sitting on some rock next to the waterfall. Senzi straightens my foot, takes off my moonboot then checks out my foot.

“What happened to your ankle?” Reahile asks.

Khanyisa giggles. 

Everyone looks at her. Senzi and I also giggle. 

“Keng? Were you having sex or something?” Khabane says. 

“Hai baby, hhawu. They were just having fun. Mara she’s fine now”, Khanyisa says. 

Now everyone is laughing and probably assuming that I got injured while having sex.

Senzi just laughs then puts the moonboot back on my foot. He kisses me then heads back to the guys.

“The two of you are so cute”, Khanyisa says.

“Thank you. He’s honestly such a dream”, me. 

“How long have you guys been together?” Nandi.

“Six years dating, but traditionally married for a few months”, I say.

“And he still looks at you and treats you like that?” Nandi. 

“Hhawu Nandi, how does Rea treat you kanti?” Khanyisa.

Nandi’s mood changes.

Khanyisa and I look at each other. 

“Sorry”, Khanyisa.

“It’s the kid thing”, Nandi says. 

Khanyisa and I look at her.

“I mean we’ve been trying for years. I take forever to get pregnant. Then when I do get pregnant, I lose the kids. I’ve had three miscarriages and three failed IVFs. He says he’s cool with us not having kids. But I want kids that are my own… kids that I’ve given birth to for him. The twins are great and everything, but they are his and his first wife’s kids. They are obsessed with Khanyisa. We get along and everything, but they want Khanyisa present for everything. They want her when they are sick. They want her when they are hurt. They phone her when something happened at school. They don’t see me as their mom. And I feel like Rea doesn’t trust me with them. He doesn’t trust anyone with his kids except for Khanyisa.” Nandi has offloaded a lot.

And why do these kids want Khanyisa only and not her? 

“I don’t mean to undermine you as their mother, Nandi. I stay close to them… my family stays close to them because they are closest thing to us to Rofhiwa. Rofhiwa, their mother, was my sister. I’ve lost a sister. The twins lost a mother. My parents lost a daughter. We just don’t want the twins to lose us.” Khanyisa.

Ai! These scandals bakithi.

“I understand, Khanyi. All I’m saying is that I want to be a mom too. I want to mean the world to someone. And I’m just not… it seems I’m just not woman enough to become a mother”, Nandi.

TENSE! 

I look at both of them. 

Khanyi doesn’t know what to say or how to be. Nandi looks like she’s about to cry. 

“Guys, let’s do the last 7km. It’s going to rain”, Reahile says.

We all snap out of this conversation as Khanyi and Nandi both help me up and we start walking again. 

…

Wandi, Nandi, Rea and I walk into the house. We actually had fun today. It’s about 6pm in the afternoon. Our plan was to just chill by the pool then Nandi and Rea would head back to their place a bit later. But…

We stumble upon a room full of people… well not too many people, but more than we anticipated. 

Ms Ngwenya is instantly uncomfortable. Instantly! 

Bab’Khotso doesn’t know how to be. 

My focus is now on the man who is said to be my biological father and the woman who is sitting next to him. They are nervous and are holding hands, so I assume that she is his wife. 

“Sanibonani“, Wandi is the one who breaks the tense silence.

“Sanibona. Siyathemba ukuthi niyaphila“, my alleged biological father says.

“Mah, what’s all this?” Wandi enquires. 

“Ubab’Maphumulo ubefuna ukukhuluma nje kancane noSenzangakhona”, Ms Ngwenya says. 

Wandi looks at me.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to be.

“I know this is a lot for you. But please, I just need you to hear me out. Ngiyakucela ndodana yami“, my alleged biological father says to me.

I’m still frozen.

“Can we possibly go take a shower then come back? It’s been a long day and we need to freshen up”, Wandi says.

I think it’s her way of saying we need space. This does feel like an ambush. 

“Kulungile. Sizolinda. Siyabonga“, he says.

Wandi and I head for the stairs. I think Rea and Nandi leave after having a brief chat with Bab’Khotso.

Wandi and I are in the shower now. 

“How are you feeling?” She asks me.

“I don’t know”, I say. 

She hugs me. 

I actually cry in her arms. I release an aggressive and unbelievable cry. She just holds me tighter and lets me let it all out. I don’t know why I’m in this position right now, but I’m so thankful for the wife that I’ve been blessed with. She’s everything to me. Everything! 

– 

Wandi and I are now sitting on a couch opposite the couch that my alleged biological father and his wife are sitting in. There’s juice and biscuits on the coffee table between our couches. No one has touched a damn cookie or juice. 

“Senzangakhona, I’m sorry about how everything has turned out. And I’m sorry that I didn’t fight for you. I didn’t want to complicate your life and Samuel loved you very much. Your mother assured me that he provides for you. So, I gave them the space to be your parents – as your mother and I had agreed.” Alleged biological father says. 

“Did you ever think about me?” I ask him.

“All the time.” He says.

“Did she tell you about me? About the dreams I had about the Twala ancestors not wanting anything to do with me?” 

He shakes his head and says, “No, she didn’t.” 

I nod my head. 

“Lalela Senzangakhona, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I also don’t want to rush you into giving me a chance as your father. But you did mention that you are really struggling with the surname issue. I’ve phoned my family eMtubatuba. They’ll come by this weekend and sizokwenzela umsebenzi ngendlela e-right. Then, you and umakoti will have to sleep over nizokhothwa idlozi. From there, you’ll spend a week eMtubatuba. Refiloe and I will go with you both. Then we will go kwaButhelezi kuhlatswe for umakoti to be recognized as a Maphumulo bride. Ngifuna izindlela zakho zibemhlophe, kukhanye for wena. From there, I’ll take the lead from you regarding how you want things to be between us”, the alleged father says. 

This genuinely moves me. 

“Ngiyabonga. I genuinely appreciate that”, I say. He seems happy that I’m receptive of this. 

“Senzangakhona, I didn’t know about you. Had I known, I would have insisted that we fetch you sooner so that you become part of our lives. We love you and we want to get to know you better. We want you to be in our lives and we would also love to be in your lives. I know Shaka has said that he will take the lead from you on what you want as far as a relationship between you guys is concerned. But I don’t have it in me to be a mother like that. I’m pushy. I insist on things. So I’m going to have a relationship with you and Wandi… and I can only hope that you and Wandi will have a relationship with me too”, his wife says. Shame, she’s so sweet. 

I smile at her. 

This makes her husband happy. 

“It’s a messed-up situation, I know. But surely we can turn it around… right?” The wife.

“I’m going to try, mama. It’s not easy, but I will do my best”, I say.

I can see this makes them both happy. His wife gets up from her seat then comes to hug me. I stand up and hug her back. She’s such a nice lady. 

…