I cannot begin to describe the heaviness and the sadness that has draped Mme-Seete’s home. We came to celebrate the union of Maboko and Teboho – a beautiful union at that. And here we are, preparing to bury Mme-Seete who was shot during a shootout in her own home. She was marking books and watching soapies when this happened. The bullets forced their way through the windows of the house, leaving no one safe at all. Our kids were inside the damn house and they were not safe from the shootout that was happening outside. Mme-Seete shoved Khabane into a cupboard and put Mohale is Khabane’s arms. She closed the cupboard and as she tried to hide from the bullets that took over fifteen minutes to stop splurging all over the event, one caught her head and she left the earth. My soul cries every time I think about how she protected both children and put her life on the line so they could live. She didn’t look at Mohale and say, “This one is not my grandchild”. She took both kids and made sure we would find them in one peace and I am eternally thankful to her. 

Ona has been different since the shooting. I have found blood on his sleeves when I was sorting out his laundry. I normally sort his and Khotso’s laundry before the helpers get to it because I’m not naive about the fact that they sometimes dabble in taking people’s lives. I take the incriminating clothes and wash them myself then the rest are washed by the helpers. Since the shooting, everyday I’m washing blood off clothes and I’m pulling out bullets from pockets in their pants and jackets. I think they know who did this and I think whoever it is or whoever they are, they are paying the price one by one. 

“Dise”, my mom calls me. When did she arrive? We’ve been waiting for her. She told us that she is coming down and she will help with the funeral preparations. Khotso and Ona refused for her to get a taxi, so they drove down to Mohase and picked her up. Khotso is right behind her. 

“We are ready to go”, Khotso tells me. 

Mohale is still sleeping, so I take him and a towel as well as his baby bag. I hug my mom and we head to the car. Ona starts the engine of my car and we all jump in. I sit at the back with mom and Mohale. Khotso takes driver’s seat and Ona hops into the passenger’s seat. 

“Can I get a lift, please?” Queen Kea asks as she runs to the car. 

I sit in the middle with Mohale. She comes in and sits next to me. We all drive off. 

The drive here was very sad. It was quiet, but the silence was very loud. I cannot help but hold my baby a lot tighter and I think everyone in the car noticed. I could have lost him. We could have been preparing to bury him right now. I cannot help but shiver at the thought. He is growing up so quickly and is looking more like the third Mohale twin each day. I brush his cheek and kiss his head. Queen Kea holds my hand and I just know that she is comforting my thoughts. 

I at least fed Mohale, so he won’t be an issue when we get to Maboko’s house. As we arrive, we see Maboko standing outside with his father and morena. Uncle Shaka climbs out of his car with Aunt Nosi and we climb out of ours. I put Mohale’s bag in the boot then put Mohale on my back and strap him on with one of his towels. The weather is a bit cold-ish. So I take his light blanket and put it over the towel. When it starts raining, I’m going to cover his head with the light blanket. 

“Are you going to be okay with him?” Ona asks me. 

He’s wearing overalls, so they will be within hard labour. 

“I’ll be fine, baby. Don’t worry.” 

We just kiss and I make my way in the house. My mom brought seven buckets of scones, so as we are about to carry them in, Khotso says, “Mme, can we have one bucket outside for us?” 

“Please”, Ona asks. 

Maboko has already opened one bucket and is eating from it already. 

“Please help us with the ginger beer?” Queen Kea asks the guys. 

Maboko steals one bucket of ginger beer and puts it outside with them. I don’t understand this behaviour, but we will forgive him because he’s mourning. My mom did amazing with these seven buckets of scones and seven buckets of gemere (ginger beer). She’s already gone and as we walk in with stuff, we see her already calling shots outside while she cooks on a black pot outside. This woman is such a plug. I’m so proud to be her kid right now. She has made me look hella good. 

“Your mom is hectic. She’s making me miss my mom”, Maboko says to me. 

“You can have her”, I say. 

He laughs. I’m happy I got him to laugh. 

“Maboko, there are pots in the car as well. Mme-Thibane cooked. Please ask Gwen to go and get them”. Queen Kea says. 

My mom cooked too? I think she’s lonely now that I’m gone. She baked and cooked and made gemere all before Ona and Khotso picked her up? 

The pots are coming in and it’s not just rice and chicken. There are dumplings, rice, samp, a lot of veggies and four types of meat. Mama bathung! She really is quite the plug.  

Teboho walks in with Tiisetso. 

“Food? Thank God!” Tiisetso says.

“Who’s responsible? Because I know it’s not Gwen”, Teboho’s mom says. 

We giggle. 

“Dise’s mom is the MVP. She brought food, scones and gemere.” Maboko says so emotionally. 

Teboho hugs me. 

“Let’s dish up and start taking plates to the men outside.” Teboho’s mother is already in the kitchen calling shots.

“Maboko, how many of you are out there? We will start with you and whoever you are sitting with”, Teboho’s mom speaks to Maboko while Teboho shows me a message from Gwen. She is a bit upset. The message reads, “I heard there’s food. Please bring us food in the mourning room.” 

“She’s already pulling the makoti card on you?” I ask her. 

“You have no idea. I understand she has lost her mother and the elders instructed her to sit on the mourning mattress. But she’s driving me crazy!” Teboho seldom loses her patience with people. I wonder what Gwen has done. 

“I am here now, babe. We are in this together.” I say. 

She really isn’t okay. Something happened and it is much more than what she is letting on. I’ll ask her about it later. For now, I offer to take the plates upstairs to the mourning bedroom.

“Auntie Dise”, Khabane flew to me and is now hugging me. 

“How are you, my angel?” 

“I’m okay.”

“Have you eaten?” 

He shakes his head. 

“Okay, I’m going to make you food and you must eat, okay?”

He smiles and nods his head. 

The food situation annoyed us because everyone just wanted food. The important people ate. The rest are still complaining. The scones are also finished and some people have the nerve to ask us to bake some more. Where did these people even come from? 

Teboho and I are putting together the programme and we are chatting to an events company to coordinate the funeral. 

It starts raining heavily at 9pm. Instead of people leaving, they find shelter and continue socializing. A church service is about to start. Apparently there will be one every day until the day of the funeral. Teboho and I are staying in the kitchen and finding something to do. The service will be taking place in the mourning bedroom. 

Khabane runs inside extremely wet.

“Khabane, and then?” Teboho. 

“I was sitting with Uncle Ona, Uncle Khotso and dad”. He says. 

“And they let you play in the rain?” Teboho. 

“Khabane, let’s go get you out of those wet clothes, papa.” Queen Kea says as she takes Khabane. 

“Let me take Mohale from you, nana.” Aunt Nosi says and I happily hand over my baby. 

At 10pm, my mom kicks people out of the kitchen and starts baking. Teboho and I are forced to help her because we can’t just stand here. Gwen comes down the stairs and enquires, “Is there more food? We are hungry.” 

I’m not sure who she’s asking, but she’s staring at Teboho as if this was something she was supposed to make sure happened. It is my mom who picks up the vibe and she says, “We will bring plates to the bedroom now now, baby girl”. 

My mom is the queen of hiding food. I’m not surprised when she disappears into the laundry room and comes back with plates of food. Maboko, Khotso and Ona look at us and we shrug our shoulders. As my mom gives Tiisetso, Teboho and I plates to take upstairs to the mattress, the guys follow my mom into the laundry room for more plates. I can’t!

At 2am, people start leaving. Teboho and I are still baking and my mom is making gemere. Queen Kea and Aunt Nosi walk in telling Teboho and I that they are taking Khabane and Mohale back to the royal house. Teboho doesn’t mind at all. 

At 4H30am, the guys come into the kitchen soaking wet. We are still taking instructions from my mom. They go upstairs to shower. Zakes is with them. When they are not coming back downstairs by 6am, we just know that they’ve passed out and are sleeping. Teboho takes us to the guest bedroom and she, Tiisetso and I sleep in there. 

At 7am, we are woken up by morena. We have to go outside and prepare fire for the women to come and cook. We quickly shower and put on our overalls again. 

My mother-in-law is already in the kitchen being a demon. Regodise is pissed off, so something clearly happened already and people have not even started coming in to mourn with us today. I’d ask, but I’m still waking up myself. I don’t even know how I made it through that shower that I just had. Tebza is sitting in a corner trying to nap, but her mother is helping my mother-in-law be a demon. Tebza is scared of my mother-in-law, so she’s up and she’s helping in the kitchen. I’d think that Tebza wouldn’t be moved by all of this strict behaviour from elder women. Her mother has always been hectic. She has years of experience with dealing with this kind of behaviour from elderly women. 

“Sit down. Regodise and Teboho will bring your breakfast just now.” Tebza’s mother. 

“They’ll be outside, mme. They should have woken up earlier if they wanted to eat.” Morena says. 

Now we are here listening to how we are a lost generation. Listen here, we slept in the fucken morning. Three hours later, we are up and are expected to be slaves. I’d rather be a lost generation. 

It’s still raining and I’m feeling a bit cold now. 

Tebza and Dise bring two trays of food. It’s mabele porridge. They serve us. Tebza gives us all some tablets and tells us she will bring more at lunch. She must have guessed that we could be getting sick here. 

As we eat, we are talking nonsense. After a few minutes, Tebza and Dise bring out boiled eggs and coffee then take our empty bowls.  

Now that we are done eating, we start putting up toilets along the street. We are also putting up tents and setting up eating areas. Today, we are slaughtering the first cow. But we have to do it at a specific time. Gwen walks up to us and looks at Maboko extremely pissed off. 

“And then?” Maboko enquires. 

“No one has updated me on the funeral arrangements.” She says. 

“Tebza and Dise took care of everything”, Maboko tells her. 

“Tebza and Dise? Were they Lydia’s daughters perhaps? Last I checked, I was her only daughter. Now I am the one who cannot even answer people when they ask about the funeral.” 

What’s wrong with this woman? Is she having one of her mental what what episodes? She’s been sitting on a fucken mattress since the night of the shooting, doing nothing but eat, shit and sleep. Now she’s going to disrespect people that have been running around sleep-deprived to make sure that things happen while she just wakes up and breathes knowing that her mother’s funeral is two days away? She mustn’t test us! We are too sleep-deprived for this nonsense. 

“Gwen, why don’t you ask Tebza and Dise for the details?” Maboko is so gentle with her. She must be having an episode. If I were Maboko, I’d have her admitted until the funeral. She’s very annoying in quite a stressful situation. Khotso and I look at each other and even he is annoyed with what’s going on before our eyes here. 

“I shouldn’t have to, Maboko. I expect Tebza to come and give me hourly updates of what’s going on. But she’s just avoiding me and acting as if she’s the daughter of this house. Ke makoti fela and she mustn’t forget that. She, Regodise and their mothers have just taken over and I’m getting annoyed by the second.” 

“Ey wena, Gwen – 

“Ona!” Khotso stops me and shakes his head. 

Maboko then tells her, “Gwen, everyone who is here has come to help us make sure that our mother is buried with dignity. How can you say things like that about people who are working so tirelessly to make sure that we are not on our own during this difficult time? You are not getting any hourly updates from anyone. If you want information, you can ask. Let that be the last time you speak about my wife and Ona’s wife in that manner. You are a very disrespectful person and I’m used to you. But don’t think everyone will tolerate your shit just because you are mourning. We have more than accommodated you during this time. I lost my mother too. Khabane lost his grandmother. Do you see us acting out? Restrain yourself, Gwen!” 

Maboko and Gwen stare at each other for a very long time. 

Then, Tebza and Regodise walk out with trays of gemere to serve the men who have started working outside. These are some of the male general workers from the royal house. They’ve had breakfast and now they are about to have gemere. Gwen slaps the trays out of their hands and all glasses break as they hit the floor, leaving gemere on the ground. I stop what I’m doing and I walk up to the situation. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Teboho asks Gwen. 

Regodise tries to restrain Tebza, but she mustn’t. Gwen is going to annoy us. Those mothers-in-law in that kitchen are driving us crazy and keep our sleep at 15%. We cannot and will not be dealing with Gwen’s mental instability episodes as well. 

“Did I not tell you that I want hourly updates on my mother’s funeral?” Gwen says to Tebza. 

“And did I not tell you that I’m not your makoti? I don’t do shit for you!”

Tiisetso, my MVP, walks up to the situation. I know she will do the work of the Lord!

“Teboho, you seem to have forgot your place around here. Even Linda wasn’t as insubordinate as you are and she was barely active as makoti – thanks to you.” Gwen. 

How has Maboko not slapped her?! 

“Gwen, are you pressed about something? I understand that you are mourning your mother, but I am at a point where I cannot take anymore of you. I’m five minutes away from –

“From what, Tiisetso? From hitting me and behaving like a street cat as you were taught in that township you grew up in?” 

Maboko grabs Gwen’s neck and drags her back into the house, holding her by neck. People are screaming and trying to tell Maboko to let her go and stop abusing her. I would have tied a rope around her neck, tied her to my car and drove off with her like that. Maboko is being very kind as far as I am concerned. 

“Le shup?” Khotso asks Tebza, Tiisetso and Regodise. 

“I’m going to put poison into the next tea she orders! O re tlwayela masepa ngwanyana o!” Tiisetso and says and we all actually laugh. 

“We will go and get more gemere for these gentlemen”, Regodise says and the three ladies walk back into the house consoling themselves. I’m actually glad for Tebza that she has Tiisetso and Dise here with her. She would have been a mess if she were alone. But Tiisetso has gone soft. I need to revive the Tiisetso that would have grabbed Gwen by the weave and showed her life!   

We see my mom’s G-Wagon drive into the road and we know that when she’s driving that car instead of the McLaren, she comes bringing the kids. 

We endure a “Hello dad and hello uncle” before they charge to the house. I actually miss my son. Today he is strapped on my mom’s back. I don’t know why Dise is so adamant about not getting a nanny. We had one that we had to fire because she did nothing. Now Mohale just goes everywhere and lives on my mother’s back or on Dise’s back when we have to do things like this. I don’t think there is anyone walking on this earth who would hurt or kidnap my son. People actually value their lives and I would happily take their lives if they tried to harm my son. That isn’t enough for Regodise Mohale. She just wants her child next to her all day every day no matter what. 

“I have a plan”, I tell the guys. 

They look at me. 

“We are going to go out and pretend like there’s something we are going to get. Then we will dash to our place and sleep. We will be back at 5pm to slaughter the cow.” I say. 

We then see Dise and Tebza get into Tebza’s car.

“Where are you going?” Maboko enquires. 

“To sleep.” Dise says. 

Maboko, Khotso and I jump into the backseat of that car and we all head to the royal house. Us guys sleep in Khotso’s flatlet. Tebza and Dise slept in my flatlet. I needed this sleep. 

We honestly wake up feeling extremely refreshed. Even Dise and Tebza are less pissed off now. They’ve prepared some food for us and we are eating in my apartment, at the dining table. We even look human now. 

“Guys, I really just want to thank you guys so much. Your mothers have stepped up and you’ve all just shown up and been there for my family. I really want to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.” Maboko says. He is close to tears as he says this. Tebza rubs his thighs and I just pat his back. Then he looks at Tebza and Dise then says, “And I’m really sorry about my sister’s behaviour.”

“No harm no foul, baby”, Tebza says. 

“We should get going guys. My mom is calling”, Dise says. 

We all get up so fast – it’s as if she’s phoning all of us. 

Tebza drives us back to the house. We all go our separate ways again to just do work. 

It is 8pm when we are inside the house and are chatting to the ladies and our mothers in the kitchen. Khabane and Mohale are passed out on the couch. It really frustrates Khabane that he cannot watch any TV during this week. In a mourning house, no television plays until after the funeral. A child does not understand that and shame man, it frustrates him that he cannot play in the rain neither. He slept on the couch because he insists he is leaving with granny Kea. My mother-in-law has passed out in Maboko’s room. Dise gave her a space muffin with tea. She only told me that she was doing it and I didn’t think she had the guts to do it. But she’s tired and she wants to rest. 

Gwen comes downstairs and joins us. We all look at her because we are not in the mood for her to start shit. She doesn’t even apologise for her behaviour earlier today. She just finds a seat and sits on it, expecting to be included in the conversation and expecting that all is forgiven. When it comes to Gwen, I have been keeping a tab on her shit since high school because we cannot be rough with her – she’s forever on suicide watch and it annoys me because I believe that she uses mental illness as an excuse to get away with shit. But now that she’s dabbling in disrespecting my wife, I am going to serve her the tab I’ve kept all these years. I’m not Maboko and she’s not my sister. She got away with disrespecting me because Maboko is my brother. But she will not get away with disrespecting my wife. 

The door opens and a mixed-race kid runs in ahead of its guardian. I know it’s the guardian because we all know Gwen had a kid and sent it away to be raised by a cousin. Gwen is frozen. Maboko, Khotso and I are standing up in shock. Tebza is just as shocked. Gwen looks like she’s going to faint any minute now. 

“Dumelang. We apologise for only arriving now. We missed our flight and had to get another one.” The guardian explains. 

We are still in shock. 

“I know I shouldn’t be here – 

“Then why are you here?” Gwen barks. 

“I had to bury my aunt, hle. We will leave as soon as the funeral is over.” The guardian explains. 

“Mason, say hi to everyone.” The guardian tells the child. 

Mason waves at us. 

“Refiloe, why are you –

“Gwen, please. I’ll leave literally after the funeral.” 

“You couldn’t find a baby sitter? Why did you have to bring him here?” 

“He’s my son, Gwen. He won’t bother you. You can relax.” 

It’s Maboko who goes to Mason and high-fives him. 

“How are you doing, champ?” Maboko enquires.

“Good.” Mason replies. 

This is awkward. No one can make it un-awkward. 

“Refiloe, I’m Ona’s and Khotso’s mother. The kids come with me and I let them sleep at my place. Mason can join us and be with his age-mate. I do the in and out with them”. 

Refiloe smiles at my mother and says, “Thank you, mme.” 

“Where are your bags?” Tebza enquires. 

“At our hotel. We figured that we wouldn’t want to crowd anyone while we are here.” 

This breaks Maboko’s heart. 

Gwen just stands up from her seat and leaves the kitchen. This is her son. Is she that disconnected that she cannot even stand to be in the same room as him? 

Regodise gives Refiloe a glass of gemere and a plate of food. 

“Thank you so much”, Refiloe says as she accepts the food and gemere.

“Come boy, come eat”, Tebza has taken Mason and has him in front of a plate. 

“You good?” Maboko asks Refiloe. 

“We are great. Mason is doing great at school and he has already joined the development team of quite a big football club in Manchester.” She says.

“Wow! That’s awesome. What position do you play?” Tebza.

Mason excitedly says, “I play centre back. My coach says that if I stay committed, I can start playing for the first team when I turn eighteen.” 

We all clap for him and congratulate him. Refiloe is so proud. 

“You must teach us how to play. We also want to play in the premier league”, Khotso says.

Mason just giggles and eat. 

“And wena, are you coping?” Maboko is still serious.

“I don’t know what you are asking me, Maboko, but we are over the divorce. Leo doesn’t want anything to do with us. But Mason and I are okay. We will make it.” 

Maboko hugs her and says, “You can stay here if you like.” 

“Gwen would never be comfortable with that and I didn’t come here to make her feel uncomfortable.” 

Gwen is actually very selfish. She had this baby in grade ten. She was sleeping with a guy who was in our year and the guy passed away in a car accident on the weekend of our birthday party. Gwen found out a week after burying him that she was pregnant. She was home-schooled that year to hide the pregnancy and hide it from being public knowledge. Anyone who came into contact with her had to sign an NDA. They could be sued for speaking about the pregnancy. When the boy was born, Gwen wanted to give it away for adoption. Refiloe was living it up in the UK. She was twenty-four years old at the time. She legally adopted the kid with her boyfriend at the time, Leo, and they raised Mason. The least that Gwen could do is not be a brat. Maboko once told me that Refiloe is mme-Lydia’s daughter. She grew up in Lesotho with mme-Lydia’s mother because she was not ntateSeete’s daughter. Everyone knows except Gwen because Gwen will kill herself if she finds out that her mother had a life before she met ntate Seete. Gwen is just a spoiled brat who is beyond removed from reality and one day when she’s not on suicide watch, I’ll tell her. 

“Tebza, you look amazing. I’m so sorry I missed the wedding. Mason had football things he couldn’t get out of. But thank you so much for inviting us and we bought you guys a gift”, Refiloe says. 

Tebza just hugs her and says, “We need to arrange regular visits. Khabane and Mohale must know Mason. They are brothers”. 

“I couldn’t agree more”, Refiloe says. 

“Where’s Pule?” Refiloe asks us and we are already giggling. She and Pule had a very serious vibe. IT WAS SERIOUS. But they couldn’t do much because she would only visit for a short space of time then have to go back to Lesotho.

“He’s around”, I say. 

“And married”, Maboko says.

We all laugh. Maboko never approved of that vibe! 

…

“Baby”, I say as I lie next to my wife before we go to sleep. 

“Yeah”.

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, papaMohale.”

“And I don’t want to bury you. Promise me that I’ll never have to bury you.”

“I can’t make that promise, baby. Let’s just promise each other that we will fight to live even when Iiving seems hopeless.” She says. 

I nod my head. 

“Love”, she says. 

I kiss her lips. 

“You are an amazing friend to Maboko”, she says. 

“And you are an even better wife”, I tell her. 

“Seriously babe. Your love language is acts of service and when I see you go all out to make sure that Maboko has all that he needs, I’m reminded why I chose you… why I’ll always choose you… and why I’m so glad that you chose me. You are an amazing man, Onaleruna Mohale. I’m blessed to have you be my husband. You have a beautiful heart. No matter how much you try to hide it, I see you. I know they say that you are the brutal twin. I’ve only seen that brutality come out when you had to protect what you love. That doesn’t make you evil, that makes you one hell of a human being. And there isn’t a part of you that I would trade in for anything.” 

I feel completely naked. She’s seen through me completely and I feel extremely emotionally vulnerable. 

“I love you, Ona – all of you – as you are. Mohale and I are so blessed to have you be our warrior, our shield and the head of our home.” 

I cannot even say anything. I’m getting emotional. I don’t know how to protect myself from feeling what I’m feeling. She kisses me. I just know that I am home.