Zari, Fifi, Khanyi and I are in Fifi’s kitchen preparing breakfast for the men we love. We have set up a playpen for Fifi’s twins and my Khumo. They are actually making a noise and having a full-blown baby language conversation amongst the three of them. 

“Girl, a whole set of twins? You are brave”, Zari says to Fifi. 

“We are waiting for you and Ona now. We’ve done our part – two of the best.” Fifi says. 

“Are you planning to have more?” I ask her. 

“More what?!” Fifi says in shock and we all laugh. 

We see Khabane come down the stairs. We all look at Khanyi. 

“We slept in separate rooms!” Khanyi makes it known. 

We laugh. 

“But what’s happening? Are you guys dating or?” Zari asks. 

“We like each other. When we can spend time together, we do. But that’s about it.” Khanyi says, but she’s blushing from here all the way to her wedding day in Tholoana Kingdom. 

“Good morning”, Khabane greets us. 

“Heeeeeeyyyyyyy”, us ladies. 

Khabane looks at us as if we are being weird. 

“I’ll go sit with the kids. Y’all look like you were having a weird conversation”, he says. 

We still stare at him. 

He leaves the kitchen… 

Then we all burst into laughter! 

We are busy in the kitchen shame. The guys come down the stairs making a noise. 

“Khabane, you are here?” Tee-le has to be the one to point out the obvious. 

“He’s driving back home with Zari and I”, Ona says. 

“I didn’t know that Reahile and Khabane were close”, Tee-le says. 

We are all laughing now. 

“I’m close to Khanyi. Why are you acting like you don’t know?” Bane. 

Okay he’s going to hold his own. Good for him!

“Eh monna… this is my baby sister. Why are you trying to pull a Maboko Seete when he met Tebza Seete. She was a young sweet hun too. Have you been taking notes?” Mohato says. 

The guys laugh. 

“What can I say? He gave me his gift of picking the best flowers from any and all gardens. Just look at her.” Bane. 

Everyone looks at Khanyi. 

SHE IS BLUSHING!!!!!

“Wait ’til Thomas Ramaru hears about this”, Rea says. 

The moment goes from cute to hilarious instantly! 

Ngathi ngiyabona. 

We are all having breakfast now around the dining table. Khumo is glued to her father. He is eating and feeding her too. Rea has Mulalo on him and Mohato has Mohau with him. 

“We are not giving Bane or Khanyi a baby because we don’t want them getting any ideas”, Mohato says. 

“Hai guys, yekan’ i’ngane! Hai bo! Kunini?! Sekuhlabeka mina manje“, I say. 

They’ve been going at them. They need to relax now. Hai bo! 

“I’m with Thuli on this one. Y’all are just jealous that when you were at Khabane’s age, you didn’t know what you wanted and you didn’t have a Khanyisa!” Fifi says. 

“Eeeeehhhhhhh!!!” The guys say at the same time. 

Zari giggles. 

“Speak for your own men. I’ve always had my Zari. Akere baby”, Mohato. 

Zari blushes. 

“Oksalayo, you were not making moves the way that Bane is. He’s putting all your game- all three of yours combined- to shame!” Fifi. 

We all laugh. 

“But in other news, Fifi and Rea, congratulations guys. Your home is beautiful. Your babies are cute. And you are perfect for each other.” I say, taking the heat off Khanyi and Bane. 

“Absolutely! You guys have done amazing and we will never stop being here for you.” Tee-le says. 

“Thank you, guys. And please never stop visiting us”, Rea. 

We all laugh. 

I get a call from a number I don’t recognize. Truecaller tells me that it is Mandisa Tloung calling. Tee-le looks at me, noticing how disturbed I am.

“What’s wrong?” He asks me. 

I show him my phone. 

His eyes also widen. 

I answer the phone and put the call on speaker. 

“Thuli hello.” 

“Hi Thuli. It’s Mandisa. Khosi’s sister. How are you?” 

“Ngiyaphila Mandisa. Wena unjani?”

“Uhm Thuli… I have a lead on Khosi.” 

“A lead?” Me. 

“Yeah. She’s been lost. Nobody knew where she was. I have a lead now.” 

“Oh…”

I’m not sure what to do with this information. Everyone at this table is focused on this call. 

“Thuli, I know you guys are not friends anymore. But I know that of everyone Khosi has ever met, you are the one person that really cared about her. That’s why I’m telling you this.” 

“Mandisa, this is just a bit awkward. I haven’t spoken to Khosi in over a year. In fact, the last time we spoke, we spoke through lawyers because she defamed my husband and me on that reality show she was on. So, it’s a bit difficult for me to really care at this point.”

She’s silent for a moment, then she says, “You are married to your best friend’s ex. From where I’m standing, you are not as innocent as you would like to think you are in all of this. So mawuzenza ngcono ngodadewethu –

I hang up. 

I’m suddenly so angry! 

I’m breathing heavily!

“Sis’Thuli”. Khanyi says.

I look at her.

“Don’t be angry. Surely, you’ve always known that this is how Khosi and her family would always view you. It doesn’t make their version of the truth worth it. It makes how they view you worth it… between Khumo and Bhut’Tee-le, is there anything you’d want to change?” 

I smile at her. I can’t help it. She’s right.

“Bane, you got a real one.” Tee-le.

“I know”, Bane. 

We laugh. 

Then Bane says, “Also, if people couldn’t date Khosi’s exes, there’d be no one to date. She dates one man, and we know she’ll finish the squad. Isn’t she the girl that keeps loving the crew?” 

Wow! 

Everyone else laughs. I still kinda have a soft spot for her, so I’m a bit touched. 

Fifi notices then says, “Anyway guys, thanks for staying after the bash. Yoh, dealing with clean up alone is a bit –

“Thank God for kazi! The cleaning service was here at 6am.” Khanyi says and we laugh. 

“After breakfast, we can go chill by the pool to give the cleaning company some space to finish. Is that okay?” Fifi says. 

“Thank God we are all soccer players. The body allows.” Mohato. 

“Bane, can you go topless?” Rea asks him. 

“I play rugby. Khanyi hasn’t made a mistake here. Believe that!” Bane mara. 

“Wooooooohhhh!” Us ladies gush over seeing Bane topless. 

“Ey!” Mohato. 

Shame, it’s a nice morning. 

…

Dikwe is in Venda with Tshianeo. I never know what’s happening with the first wife. She’s always been a non-factor in my life. She literally lives away from us and refuses to associate with us, so nje, I’m not interested in anything that has to do with her. 

I’ve packed my three daughters in my car – two at the very backseat and one right behind the driver’s seat. She’s seated next to my son who is strapped in his car seat. Next to me and in my passenger seat is my mom. We are bringing Khosi home. We are travelling in my BMW X7. 

Khosi is famous so people know who she is. We saw someone posting that they had spotted her in South Africa and she was looking bad. I then DM-ed that person and asked for information – where she saw her and all. I then asked if she could please stop posting about her. The girl actually helped me locate Khosi and now I’m on my way to KZN to find her. I had to tell my mom. She’s Khosi’s mother. She’s heartbroken of course, but the key thing is to find Khosi. 

“Mandisa”, my mom starts.

“Yebo mah?” 

“Am I bad mother?” 

I’m quiet. What is she expecting me to say really?

“Or uKhosi uyena ogulayo? What is it about the way that you grew up that made Khosi feel she has to live the way that she does? Or did I perhaps miss something?”

I get what she means. We didn’t struggle. We grew up in a township, but we were the family that had the big corner house in the township. We went to good government schools. We never went to bed hungry. We were not millionaires, but we were okay.

“UNobukhosi kudala athanda izinto, mama. And you never said anything about it. You just let her be. I never understood why you were too scared to tell Khosi that the way that she lives her life is not okay. It was never okay for her to sleep with people’s husbands – regardless of the status of the marriage – but you sat and watched her do it, enjoying the benefits that came from it. Khosi started this thing of hers years ago… in high school already. When I said something about it, I was the jealous ugly sister. So, I also let her be. Bheka manje ukuthishe’s paying a price for hurting all of these people she’s hurt just because she wanted a luxurious life, and affording life was never good enough for her. You are not a bad mother. But you could have done more to stop this.” 

She’s quiet.

“But mom, it’s not fair to expect ncane to respect people’s wedding vows when they don’t respect their own wedding vows”, that would be Sethunya, my first born. She and my second born, Lerato, look up to Khosi with all of their hearts. They are the slay queens of today. Sethunya is already making a living out of it, calling herself an influencer. Lerato is well on her way. 

“So that’s normal to you? You make money off hurting people and just tenaciously bulldozing people’s lives just to get money? You open your legs to the highest bidder – regardless of who you hurt in the process – and think that work is normal?” I ask her. 

“The purpose of work is to make money. The idea of having money is to have as much of it as possible. And not every influencer is sleeping their way to riches.” Lerato. 

“That just sounds like prostitution to me. Maybe show me an analysis of how much you actually make influencing for brands or whatever else you influence for, then show me how much men give you just because you are beautiful and you open your legs for them. I might change my mind on what I think about this topic.” I say. 

“So mama, you are calling us prostitutes?” Sethunya. 

I want to say yes, but I’ll simply exercise my right to remain silent. 

…

We arrive in KZN in the early hours of the morning. We check into the Oysterbox hotel. I’m staying in a room with Pheello. Lerato and my youngest daughter, Relebohile, share a room. Sethunya and my mom share a room. I did that on purpose. I want her to see my mom pray and cry for the life that Khosi chose. 

Pheello is not asleep and I don’t understand why. 

“Pheello, why aren’t you sleeping?” I ask him. 

“I don’t feel like sleeping”, my twenty-month-old child says to me. 

“Well, you have to sleep now. It’s late.” I say. 

“Are we going to talk to dad?” He asks me. He’s not used to being away from his dad and not speaking to him at the end of the day. Dikwe is consistent like that. But he did say that the network in Venda – where they are going – is messed up. 

I try to videocall him anyway. It’s 2am. He may be asleep. But I try my luck…

And he actually answers. 

“Baby? Is everything okay?” He asks me. He doesn’t even look like he was asleep. 

“I’m fine. We just got to KZN and your son refuses to sleep until he speaks to you. Sorry to call you so late”, I say. 

“It’s okay, my love. Where’s my boy?” He says. 

I give the phone to Pheello. 

“Hello papa”, he says. 

“Hello my boy. Why are you giving your mom a headache? You know that’s my wife, right?” 

“I’m not giving her a headache. I just wanted to talk to you.” Pheello defends himself. 

“Okay. How was your drive?” Dikwe asks him. 

“Long. Mom and Sethunya and Lerato were fighting about prostitutes.” 

This child! 

“Ey wena, Pheello!” I shout at him. 

“What?! I don’t even know what a prostitute is. I’m just telling dad that – 

“I told you to not listen to old people’s conversations”, I say. 

“You were talking in front of me and you were talking the whole way. I can’t block my ears for that long”. 

I actually step into the attached restroom because I need to laugh. I’m not doing it in front of him. 

When I come out of the restroom, Pheello is dozing off. I hear Dikwe telling him a story. The storytelling always gets my baby boy dozing off. He’s such an amazing dad. I’m falling in love all over again. 

When Pheello is fast asleep, I take the phone from him. 

“You are an amazing father, you know that?” I say to my Dikwe. 

“You’ve blessed me with one hell of a child. Thank you for that”, he says.

“How’s Venda?” I ask him. 

“It’s extremely hot. I can’t even sleep. Neither can Fenya. He’s not used to the heat. So I’m being a grandfather and staying up.” 

“Oh my… you have Fenya with you? You are being a mkhulu? Does this mean things are better between you and his dad?” I ask him.

“We still fight a lot. But I’m hopeful. He picked a good wife and I think she will bring us closer. She left Fenya with Neo because she and Leruo were going through some stuff.”

“Oh my… I hope they’ll be okay”, I say. 

“They better be okay. She’s a good wife for him and he better make it work no matter what.” He says. 

“Okay my love. Anyway, let me sleep. I have a big day ahead of me.” 

“Sleep well, my angel. I love you.” He says.

“I love you, myeni wami.” I say then hang up. 

It is 7am. I am at this meeting place that I’m meeting at with this girl who knows where Khosi is. I left my mom and the kids at the hotel. 

“Hi”, a young lady gets to my window and says. 

It’s her. 

“Come in”, I say. 

She hops into the passenger seat. 

“You good?” I ask her. 

She nods her head. 

“Thank you for meeting with me. I really appreciate this.” I say. 

“Sure. She doesn’t look good. I just thought I’d let you know”. She says. 

“Where is she staying?” I ask. 

“Under a bridge”, she says. 

What the?!

“Do you know which one?” I ask. 

She nods her head. 

…

I don’t know what to say. I really don’t.  

I came to KZN on holiday after shooting the reality show that I was on. Then Tyson decided to cut me off financially, threatened me that if I so much as step back into Tholoana Kingdom, he will kill me. This is all because I mentioned our relationship on the reality show and his wife got upset. I’m up to my neck with lawsuits that he’s not prepared to help me with. My car was taken away from me. I don’t have a house. I only had ten thousand rands cash on me and I stayed in a motel – not even a hotel – for as long as I could. I don’t have qualifications so I couldn’t get work. 

My second instinct was to try and find a man who can get me out of this situation. But honestly, they are all so scared of Tyson that the people who were willing to bite didn’t know Tyson. If you don’t know Tyson Archibald, chances are you are not a candidate for dating me. 

It got to a point where I had nothing. Zero. Then someone broke into my motel room and stole EVERYTHING! All I was left with were the clothes on my back. I got kicked out of the motel room. Now, I sleep under a bridge. 

Bridge life is not easy. Apart from being cold and fighting for a spot every chance you get, you have to choose the right people to sleep next to or else you will wake up to someone raping you or trying to be violent with you. You also have to fend for yourself in the worst possible way. You have to go beg on the side of the road just so you can eat. I’ve gone to bed having eaten only had a sixty-cents stocksweet. I’ve also gone to bed having eaten nothing. I’ve gone to shelters before and they’ve let me stay from time to time, even fed me. But you cannot stay there forever. 

It is 7:30am. I’m already up and am begging for money from the morning rush traffic. Everyone is headed to work and are in a hurry. So, they will either give you money to get you off their backs, or they tell you that they don’t have money. They are too stressed to just ignore you. You need to be very close to the window. Don’t touch it, but be so close that they cannot ignore you. Sometimes, they give me food. Sometimes I get warm clothes. Sometimes I get money. The money I hide. The food I share. The clothes I wear in front of them. Sometimes they steal them and sometimes they leave me alone. 

A black BMW X7 approaches. It seems to be slowing down as it gets closer. Great. I’m going to get a good tip. Eish, it’s a TK number plate. I really don’t need those people to look down on me and remind me what my life was like when I was there. And – 

Oh –

No-

It can’t be –

If I had the energy, I’d run away. I’m so embarrassed. I just cry instead. 

“Hi sisi”, she says to me. 

I just cry. I can’t help myself. I just weep. 

She steps out of the car and hugs me. I’m filthy right now. Why is she touching me? I smell! She is so clean. She smells so good. Why does she still want to be associated with me? 

I’m weeping in her arms right now. 

“Come nana, let’s get you home.” She says. 

“I can’t. Tyson will kill me if I ever set foot back in Tholoana Kingdom.” I say through my sobs. 

“Khosi, I’m here now. Let’s go home. I’ll take care of everything.” She says. 

I haven’t been inside a car in months. I’m not sure if I even remember how to climb into one. 

…

I’m in a shower at the Oysterbox hotel. Me. Khosi Thabethe. I thought this life was over for me. I’m using Dior shower gel on my body after months of not seeing shower gel at all. I’m using Dior face products on my face. My skin is even doing a happy dance right now. I never thought that this would ever be me again. But I’m crying. I’m balling in tears. I don’t understand how I got here. I really don’t. A girl like me was never supposed to get here. My cry is getting louder. 

“Khosi, are you okay?” I hear Mandisa ask me. 

I just cry. I weep!

“Mommy, why is she crying?” I hear Pheello say. 

I’m sharing a hotel room with Mandisa and Pheello. 

I just hear them leave the room.

After some time, I just dry myself, step out of the shower and lotion myself with Mandisa’s Dior products. She is really living it up. Who would’ve thought that one day she’d be bailing me out like this? That her life would be more worth living than mine? Maybe this is done on purpose because shame, if the shoe were on the other foot, I probably wouldn’t help her out the way that she has helped me out. 

When I’m done lotioning my body, I step into the room. There is a pair of new underwear for me. It feels amazing on my coochie. The bra hugs my boobs perfectly. Then I wear the jeans that I find here – black skinny jeans. I wear the yellow t-shirt I find too. It’s pure cotton. I love it! I wear the socks that I find here and the Stan Smith Adidas sneakers. 

I find a wig here… top quality I tell you. And it’s a 12-inch wet curl wig. I love my sister so much! I also find a new Apple iPhone. 

My heart! 

Dear World, I’m back! 

I’m at breakfast now where I find Mandisa, all four of her kids and my mother seated and eating. Sethunya runs to me first. She hugs me super tightly. I’ve always loved my sisters’ daughters. I’m scared of their mother as they are, so we’ve always felt like sisters. 

“How are you, Miss Thang?” She says as she hangs onto me. 

“I think I’m going to be okay”, I say. 

She leads me to the table. But I decide to dish up for myself first. I haven’t seen food this good in FOREVER! I’m having everything! 

I’m now back at the table. Pheello and Relebohile keep looking at me. The babies. They don’t know what to say. 

My mother is looking at me with so much disappointment. 

“Mama, when do we leave?” Sethunya breaks the silence. 

“Tomorrow morning. I want to sleep in today. I’m tired.” Mandisa says. 

“Can we possibly go to the spa today? With ncane?” Lerato. 

“No”, my mom. 

We all look at her. Even Mandisa.

“Khosi is not wasting another cent of my child’s money”, my mom says.

“But gogo she’s our mother”, Sethunya. 

“You can go and spend your mother’s money.” My mom. 

“And ncane is her sister”, Lerato.

“They are both my children. And if it’s okay with you, I’d like to exercise my right to parent these two.” My mom.

I’m in shit. Mandisa is probably in shit for helping me. Mandisa and I look at each other. 

Her phone rings. 

“It’s Dikwe. I have to take this”, she says then leaves the table. Pheello runs after her. It’s his dad and he never misses an opportunity to speak to him. 

We stay here in silence. I just eat. 

“Ncane, maybe after breakfast, we can go chill by the pool.” Sethunya. 

“Ncane will come to you when I’m done with her”, my mom. 

Ai! 

Sethunya and Lerato both give up. 

…