Episode 2
I’m minding my own business in my assigned bedroom, pumping milk out of my breasts so that I can have food ready for my 8month old son… some milk he will drink, some I’ll just put in his porridge for breakfast in the morning.
My daughter is fast asleep. She’s four years old. My son is asleep too. The three of us share this room. I can’t wait for university to begin. It all starts next week, so I move into my apartment this weekend. I would’ve honestly lived in res, but I want to live with my kids. I’d never leave them here.
So, where’s ‘here’?
In case you are wondering, I’ll inform you. However, let me take you through how I ended up living ‘here’ first, so the context is not something you have to piece together yourself while reading through my experiences.
I met Molise (pronounced Modise) when I was about 15 years old. A few friends of mine and I had planned all year to come to Tholoana Kingdom for the opening of the Morafe Game Lodge. It’s a lodge that is a first of its kind AND tickets for the opening were expensive and exclusive. Capacity was 15000 people for the opening and they kind of sold out fast. My dad managed to give me money to secure a ticket for myself – R5800 to be exact. He was invited to the event and the idea was that I’d just accompany him. I wanted to go. I wanted the experience. I wanted to be within because this vision of Thabang and Morafe Mothipa… because wow, dynamite! My dad was not necessarily a businessman, he just consulted with big companies and projects as he is a qualified and seasoned actuarial scientist. That’s how he put and still puts food on the table for our family. My mom is a nurse. I’m the second born of three… and we are all girls. Anyway…
My friends managed to hustle the money needed to attend the event and to travel. My dad wanted me to travel with him, so I didn’t club in with friends on their transport and accommodation plans. My dad sorted me out in that regard.
The day then came for us to go to the event and trust me, the experience didn’t disappoint at all. My dad was working most of the time, so I could actually hang out with my friends. But there was a jive… my ticket got me into a more premium section than what my friends’ tickets got them access to. I couldn’t get into their section with my ticket, and they couldn’t get into my section. I still think my dad did that on purpose.
So, I dressed nice and went to mingle with rich people. Lol.
“Really? Alone? At such an event?” That’s the first thing that he said to me when he saw me trying to fit in with the haves of this kingdom… probably world even.
I looked at him and giggled.
“Molise”, he said, introducing himself to me and extending his hand for a handshake.
“Zanolwazi”, I introduced myself.
“You are cute”, he said, this time sitting down.
I learned that night that he is a medicine student who’s preparing to specialise. I learned that he grew up in Tholoana Kingdom, in the Merementse village. He’s the first in his family to go to university. He is the fourth born of seven children – ja, his parents are that old. His mother looked after the family while the father was a farmer. He was smart enough at school to get scholarships into university and he’s just an overall hardworking individual. He then learned that I was fifteen, attended the event with my dad and am the second of three. He learned that I’m from Diepkloof, Soweto… South Africa. I guess the idea of me being in another country meant that we could have a one night stand, maybe exchange numbers in case I’m in the kingdom one day then require sex, or if he’s in South Africa and needs a hookup too.
We left the event, made our way to his hotel room and I lost my virginity to him in a one-nightstand. We spoke and all afterwards via whatsapp and at times, phone calls… but five months later, we were dealing with my dad needing to know his family because I was pregnant.
Ey, it was awkward. I guess my dad realised that he should have just left me to attend this opening with my friends.
Molise’s parents advocated for us to get married. My parents were on some, “our daughter is not even eighteen.”
My dad ended up using the “asibancengi” card and that was the last time he ever spoke to Molise’s family.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, my stunner of a daughter… Phupholethu. Yes, my dad made sure that she has a Zulu name… I guess to spite the sothos to the core!
Our families were done with each other. His family believed my family to be too proud. My family thought his family to be promoters of teenage and underage marriage.
But he still texted me every day… phoned me even. So, I thought that I wouldn’t need to be a terrible person about the situation. I sent him pictures of Phupho from the minute that she was born. I sent him videos of her milestones. He also gave me the room to call him during night feeds or difficult nights. It wasn’t the same as having him there, but I suppose I had his support.
I made the mistake of giving in and agreeing to marry him when I turned eighteen. My dad was not in support, but he made it clear that I’d have to continue with school. I married the guy, had sex for the second time in my life and got pregnant. Even my family was done with me. They treated me like everything that would become of my life at this point was my own fault.
Molise left the kids and I with his mother. I was so angry. I had to adjust and live here with the mother. He comes over for weekends when he has time or isn’t working weekends. He will be around every December after the 16th… but ja, now we’ve become co-parents and married on paper. No romance. No spark. Nothing.
Now that my second baby, Lelapa, is over a year old, I’m headed back to university… Tholoana Kingdom University. It’s in Taung, so I’ll be far away from Molise’s mother. Yoh, she’s more than annoyed me to last me a lifetime. I asked my dad for one last chance to go to school. He agreed. He bought me a duplex in Taung, hired a nanny to help me and now I’m headed to school. He’s also paying for creche for my kids. The creche is a walking distance from my university. Then the house is a walk away from the university. I INFORMED Molise and his mother – no permission required at all as far as I’m concerned.
I hear a car park outside. I even see the lights. It’s Molise. He’s here with his fancy black Mercedes-Benz C63. It’s a stunner of a car. I won’t hate shame. It’s 23:30. I’m the only one that’s still awake and that’s because I was busy pumping my boob.
I didn’t even know that he was arriving today. I wonder.
I make my way to the kitchen because I need to put transfer this pumped milk into proper storage.
“Hey”, he greets me as he walks in.
“Hello”, I greet him back.
I’ve packed my boob away. I’m just transferring the milk accordingly now. It’s cold – it’s winter – so my PJs are long but tight… cute. And I do have a million-dollar body shame – if I do say so myself. I know he’s watching me move around.
“You good?” He asks me.
I turn around and look at him. He’s tall, thin but fit… he has a beanie on, tracksuit pants and those bomber jackets that look like jumping castles. He’s been slightly rained on. He has his Polo overnight bag with him. He’s wearing really nice and stylish sneakers.
“I’m fine. Would you like to put your bag down? I’ll warm you a plate of food and make you some tea or coffee”, me.
“I’d appreciate that. I’ll also check on the kids”, he says.
I just nod my head. Ngizathini?!
He’s left the kitchen.
I’m dishing up rice, chicken curry, spinach and Butternut. I warm it up for him. Then I make him coffee… it’s nice Brazilian coffee. It’s my favourite coffee. He seems to like it too. I drink the decaf version while I breastfeed. As soon as I’m done, I’m back on the caffeine.
He walks back into the kitchen. He’s in pyjamas now and slippers.
I serve him his plate of food and coffee. I have a cup of hot water with a slice of lemon.
I sit on a chair next to him.
“Thanks for the food. It looks good.” He says as he shoves a spoon in his mouth.
I nod my head then say, “I didn’t know that you were coming home. Mama didn’t say anything to me.”
“Yeah. She’s been complaining about you going back to school and taking the kids with you. She wanted me to come down and talk to you.”
“So, is that what you’ve come here to do? To talk to me?”
He looks at me.
“I’m not changing my mind about school, Molise. And I’m not leaving my kids behind.”
“Mama can look after them”.
“It’s easy for you to just appoint people to look after your kids, neh? You’ve never lived with them or had to babysit them for longer than an hour on your own.”
“That’s not fair”.
“It’s the truth! Ezami izingane azingihluphi. They go where I go.”
He takes a deep breath then rubs his forehead. I take a sip of my water.
“I guess we just want you to have your full university experience without the baggage of being a mother. Then the kids won’t be growing up within instability.”
“I’m going there to study, not party. And my kids are not baggage! Not to me anyway. Molise, I spoke to you about this. Why does your mom get to have a say on this? I thought we were Phupho’s and Lapa’s parents.”
He’s silent.
“Don’t do this. I don’t bother you for anything, Molise. And if your concern is that I’ll be bothering you now that I’m not under the supervision of your mother, relax… I won’t. You’ve taught me very well when it comes to life without you.”
Now he gives me quite a hectic look.
“I know I’ve been a shit husband –
I wave my hand, signalling for him to stop talking.
“Molise, that’s not our marriage. We don’t talk about the kind of wife I’ve been or the kind of husband you’ve been. You set these boundaries and made them clear when you dumped me here with your abusive mother and expected me to survive with a toddler and a newborn baby. And you know what, I did survive. And I managed to protect my kids from your mother’s abusive nature. I told you about it all and you chose to do nothing but live your best life in Taung while I had to adjust to whatever this dead-ass place had to offer – which is actually less than nothing. So please, we are not going to go there. You and I are parents to two people we created together. Can it end there?”
Silence.
“Uzolala kahle”, I say, getting up to leave. He holds my hand. We look at each other. He doesn’t say anything. I remove my hand then head to sleep.
…
It’s 6am. I’m already preparing breakfast. Molise’s three brothers live here in the outside rondavels. Molise lives in Taung. I believe his other brothers are scattered around Tholoana Kingdom townships.
At 6:30am, his mother walks into the kitchen. I’m dishing up the porridge as I’ve already decanted the eggs, sausages, bacon, tomato and mushrooms into food warmers. Molise is the one who always makes sure we never run out of such privileges.
“Makoti”, she greets me or acknowledges me or whatever.
“Dumela mme”, I say.
“Did you and Molise talk?” She asks me.
This woman is so underhanded yazi.
“I’m still taking my children with me to Taung”, I say.
Her face drops.
Molise comes into the kitchen. He’s coming from a run. He’s sweaty and wet because of the rain. I wish I could run too, but hey… this old gogo won’t give me the chance to even try.
“My baby boy!” She says so happily when she sees Molise.
Imagine! Such an old man?! Baby boy yonke?!
“Hello mama. How are you? You look so beautiful.”
I roll my eyes.
“I’ve been good. Makoti looks after me so well. She’s the only Makoti I have. What will become of me when she leaves. You can see that I’m getting older every day.”
I just look at them with one hand on my hip. This entire conversation is madness.
“Don’t worry, mme. I’ll get you a full-time nurse to come and live with you. She will take good care of you.”
She’s still sad.
“Or we organise with one of your other sons to also get married and make you grandchildren.” He says.
“You mean those useless ones that still depend on me as old as they are?”
Cringe!
She says things like that. Molise is her successful son and is thus her favourite. She has no shame in showing it futhi.
They just laugh.
“I’m going to wake the kids up to come eat. Molise, do you mind getting your brothers?” Me.
“Sure. And good morning”, he says.
“Morning”, I say.
“Kiss phela!” The mom.
I can’t!
I just walk out of here.
Comments (2)
Yhu! Ai Molises mom though! Ai Shem. Zanos father is a loving father bakithi. Always has his child back supporting her.
As for Zano and Molise I see no future nje.
Yhu! Ai Molises mom though! Ai Shem. Zanos father is a loving father bakithi. Always has his child back supporting her.
As for Zano and Molise I see no future nje.