2010

I drive my VW Scirocco out of the matric parking lot then out of the school premises. My sister went home at 2pm when the school bell rang. She is quite lazy. She is the type that comes to school and rushes home after class. No netball. No public speaking. None of that. She is in grade nine, now. My dad must have fetched my sister. Gwen would never take a taxi back home. Besides, where we live, there is no route for taxis. They stop at the security gate. I had to stay until late today because we were having extra classes. Matric is just that year where your life is non-existent and your only focus should be getting the hell out of here at the end of the year. 

I see this new grade eight – the scholarship one – walking towards the stop where she will get a taxi to go home. It looks like it is about to rain. I slow my car down. She stops and looks at me – I am not sure how I should read her expression. 

“Sho.” I greet her. 

“Hello”. She greets me back. 

“Where are you going? Maybe I can take you home.”

“No, it’s okay. I have to go to the school where my mother teaches at then I will drive back home with her. She is expecting me.” 

“Where does your mother teach?” 

“Tholoana Secondary School.” 

“My mom is the head-mistress there.”

“Your mom is Principal Seete?” 

“Yeah. I am her son, Maboko Seete. Nice to meet you.”

She smiles at me. I think she has a crush on me. Good, because I have a crush on her too. I signal with my head that she should jump into the car then lean towards the passenger’s seat and open the door. She obliges and jumps in.

Now that she is in my car and I am driving her to Tholoana Secondary School, I am suddenly tongue-tied. I have to be cool. I cannot ruin this. This right here – this is my future wife. 

“So, where do you live?” I ask her. 

“In the township. Taung.” She says.

“It’s not too far from where I stay.” 

“Really? Where do you stay?” 

I suddenly feel ashamed of my wealth. I don’t know why. 

“Winchester Bay”, I say. 

“Oh, right across the highway from us.” She says. But she’s smiling, so she’s not trying to be – I don’t know. 

“Maybe we can travel together to school.” 

“No, it’s okay really. My parents sometimes drop me off at school. I don’t always take a taxi. Today, I was attending the netball meeting. That’s why I left late.” 

“So, you going to play netball?” 

“I still have to try out. But if I make the team, yeah.” 

“Have you played before?” 

“Yeah. I made it to provincials last year at my previous school.” 

“Then you’ll definitely make it in.”

She smiles. 

We finally arrive at the Secondary school. To my luck, my mom was just leaving the school so we bump into each other. And man is she surprised to see me here – with a girl in my front seat. I am proud of her for just driving on and pretending like she didn’t see me. Yes, we will address this at home – not in front of – 

Fuck, I didn’t get her name. 

“Thanks for the ride. I will head out now.” She says.

“HEY!” Some girl who looks just like her says as she climbs out of my car. 

“Tiisetso! Wa rasa!” she says. 

“What? I can’t greet my own sister now because she is in a fancy school and has a fancy boyfriend on her first day?” 

Wow! Even the she is embarrassed. 

“I’m Tiisetso – Teboho’s elder sister.” She says to me and also informs me of Teboho’s name. 

“Maboko. Nice to meet you.” I say, extending my hand for a handshake. She accepts it and shakes it – smiling. 

“Shup, Tebza.” I finally say. 

“Bye”, she says as she waves at me. 

I watch her go into the school yard with her sister, then I drive off and head home. 

PRESENT DAY

It is my wedding day today. I have had one of the smoothest journeys to this day – no weird family arguments that would get me wondering if I am making the right decision or not. I am marrying a man who I love dearly – and that is rare. A lot of us get married for – well, whatever it is that we get married for and stay married for. Me – I am marrying for love and I plan on staying married until death does my husband and I part. 

My three bridesmaids and I have just finished getting our hair and make-up done and we are now getting dressed into our outfits for the day. My mom is helping me into my designer wedding gown. I look like a dream. I know I do. I am Linda Khumalo after all. But in a few hours, I will be Linda Khumalo-Seete. 

“Look at you!” My brother walks into the bedroom and says. 

I twirl in my dress and smile at my brother and father who have just walked in. They look amazing too. 

“Maboko is a very lucky man”, my father says. 

“And make sure that he never forgets that”, my mom says. 

“Are you about this, sis? Like, are you sure about marrying him?” My brother asks me. He has never been a fan of Maboko. The whole community believe that Teboho Tlou – his ex-girlfriend of a million years – is his true soulmate. They dated since before they got their pubic hairs. 

“He chose me, Zolile.” I tell him. 

“I don’t know, sis. I think – 

Thelma, Zinzi and Samke come into the room ululating, saving me from Zolile’s negative energy. My mother joins them in singing. I also hear the old mamas outside singing. They are cooking and making traditional beer. I don’t know why because this wedding will be at a venue and no one is going to be eating and drinking whatever is cooking and brewing outside. But ke, we let them do as they please on our wedding days and we just pay the bills. My parents can afford it. My family is regarded as one of the richest families in Tholoana Kingdom. Maboko’s family is an empire on its own. What Tholoana Kingdom is about to see is a televised wedding of two opulent families coming together and creating a happily ever after like no other. 

“Oh my goodness!” Thelma says. I am busy finishing up my final touches because we need to get to the church soon. 

“Guys, Teboho is the new face of Connie K. Does this mean that she is back in Tholoana Kingdom?” Thelma says. 

My breathing takes a change for the worst. Why is she back? Why? 

“Hai wena! Wasn’t she in the United States or something?” Samke says. She runs to Thelma to look at this damn advertisement that Teboho is on. They are viewing it from Instagram on Thelma’s phone. 

“Yeah well, it seems ukuthi she is back and she is looking gorgeous.” Thelma says.

Also, this is my flippin wedding day. How dare my bridal party talk about that girl a few hours away from me marrying my man. How dare they announce to me that she is back and have me wondering if Maboko knows. Because if he does, I don’t know if he will make it to the altar. 

Zinzi is standing next to me – at least she has some loyalty. That’s why she’s my maid-of-honour. But she can see that I am no longer okay. Teboho coming back is the beginning of my nightmare. Why is she back? What does she want? Maboko and I are getting married and will stay married. She will not come between us. I will never allow it! Never!

“This advertisement is everywhere and baby girl is trending!” Thelma insists on this conversation. 

“It says here that she is the new brand lead for it as well as the face of it. Teboho is making us eat dust yaz. She is really flying the Tholoana Kingdom flag high.” Samke insists on entertaining this crap. 

“Don’t worry, friend. Maboko is marrying you today and he is going to choose you until the end of time.” Zinzi says to me. 

I suddenly feel depressed. My mind believes what Zinzi is telling me, but my heart knows that I’d be lying to myself if I truly believed that. Why the hell is she back? 

My rings are lying on my dressing table. My tux is neat and carefully clothed on my body. My entire home is filled with people who are happy for me. This entire country has bought data to stream my wedding to my fiancé. And I, Maboko Seete, cannot put my phone down because of this advertisement before me. Teboho Tlou – the one that I should be marrying instead – has come back to Tholoana Kingdom. Shit happened and we broke up six years ago. That’s what happens when you meet the love of your life at the age of eighteen. That’s how old I was when I first laid my eyes on my Tebza. I was in matric and she was in grade eight. I had never seen her around. We had never hung out in the same circles. She looked so out of place. 

The private school that I attended was populated by people who came from wealthy families. The school fees at that school were deliberately designed to exclude people who did not belong in the wing of the wealthy class. Then it would take two students on scholarships each year – and they would make those students jump through hoops to get in. When those students got in, we could just see them. They bought their uniform at the second hand uniform store and they just looked like – I don’t know – their scholarship, I suppose. 

Teboho was one of the scholarships. But in her second-hand uniform and her small straight back cornrows plaited with her natural hair, she was the most delicate pearl that my eyes had ever laid on. I have never been able to shake her out of my system since. 

My groomsmen pour into my room while I stare at this picture, becoming familiar with everything that I was feeling the day that I first met Tebza. I turn my phone down and put it on the bed. It is not a good look to be looking at my ex’s picture on my wedding day. 

My boys are drinking beer and have brought me a bottle of beer. Zakes is cracking jokes like he always does and Kabelo and I are in stitches. Kabelo heads straight to my cellphone and picks it up. He looks at the picture and shakes his head, looking at me like I have committed a crime. 

“Looking at Teboho’s pictures moments before you walk down the aisle?” Kabelo.

“I didn’t even know that she was back.” I truthfully answer him. I am a bit taken aback here. This was sprung on me too on the day of my wedding. 

“Was it important for you to know?” Why would Kabelo even ask me that? This is Tebza that we are talking about. 

The Mohale twins walk in. We’ve been friends since high school. They are happy and in a jolly mood. They also seem very – I don’t know – drunk! These are my groomsmen for crying out loud. Why are they already drunk?

“Tebza is back and she’s looking hot. Why are you marrying Linda?” That can only be Ona. 

“That’s rude. Why the fuck would you say that?” Kabelo reprimands Ona. 

“Hai wena, scholarship! Plus we all know that you’ve always loved Linda. You’ve always had dreams of marrying your way out of that scholarship.” 

Kabelo charges towards Ona, ready to punch him. Zakes pulls Kabelo back. Ona is laughing at him. 

“Come on, man. Behave yourself”, Khotso tells his brother. 

“Listen to your brother”, Kabelo says to Ona. 

“Oh please! I can banish you from this country. Stay within your limits! You are in the presence of a prince”, Ona says while he is still laughing. But Kabelo is actually a bit scared. Ona does have the power to do that. He is a prince. And Kabelo tends to forget that sometimes. 

“I need to see Tebza”, I tell Zakes and refocus the attention before people get banished from Tholoana Kingdom because Ona is drunk and is being himself.

All eyes are on me now. Ona is still laughing. He says, “Now, this is the shit that they should be filming.” 

“Zakes, can you drive me to her parents’ house?” Me. 

“Why me? Aowa monna, don’t involve me in such things. As your best man, I have to make sure that you actually get married today.” Zakes tells me. 

“Please man, I need to see her. Please.” I beg. 

“Just before your wedding?” Kabelo. 

“Zakes, either you take me there or I drive myself there. But, I am going to see Tebza.” 

Maybe this is how I should have started the conversation. I have never seen anyone grab car keys faster than this. 

“Teboho, aren’t you getting ready?” 

I don’t understand how anyone thinks I would attend a wedding where Maboko is the groom and I am not the bride. He is marrying the girl that he cheated on me with and I am expected to attend this wedding? No, I am not attending the wedding. I am sitting in my parents’ house, in my blue jeans and white t-shirt and I will be working on my MacBook all day while my parents and sister have a good time at the Khumalo-Seete wedding. 

“No Tiisetso. I’m not going to the wedding.”

“Why not? Mama is forcing me to go and do I look like I am keen to attend any wedding? You can’t leave me to dry. Please come with me.”

“Tiisetso, are you really expecting me to go watch my ex-boyfriend marry the girl he cheated on me with?”

“You know you are wrong for not telling him about Khabane, right?”

Seriously, Tiisetso? How did we go from talking about Maboko getting married to me being wrong about not telling him about my son?

“Teboho, that’s his son.”

“Khabane and I have a good life without him. I have no interest in complicating our life ka-drama yaLinda. You know very well how hectic she can get.”

“And that’s reason enough for you to keep Maboko away from his son?”

I am done with this conversation. I go back to typing because I do owe my boss some work. And that’s what I am going to do today. I am not attending Maboko’s wedding and I am done discussing the paternity of my son. 

“Tiisetso, let’s go!” My mom comes into the living room where we are sitting and says. 

“Please babysit for me?” Tiisetso asks me, getting up from her chair and preparing to leave with my parents. 

“Sure. I didn’t want Khabane to go to the wedding anyway. So I’ll stay with him and your two rascals.”

“Thanks. And stay off social media. People will definitely be posting them today.” She says. 

I just smile her. Shame, I appreciate the care. 

My parents and Tiisetso leave for the Khumalo-Seete wedding. Khabane (my son), Bakang (Tiisetso’s son) and Seipati (Tiisetso’s daughter) are watching television. I am sitting here working, but I have full view of this show that they are watching –On My Block. They seem to really like it. I prepare another bowl of snacks and some juice for them. I just want to keep them fed and busy so I can complete my work. 

I hand them the snacks and juice and they say thank you. My baby boy stands up and kisses my cheek. He is the spitting image of his father. I look at him and miss Maboko like crazy. 

I hear a knock on the door. I wonder who it is. The entire community is at this wedding. Maybe it’s Tiisetso and she ran away from my parents at this wedding. She is very capable of that. 

I open the door still smiling at the thought of Tiisetso ditching my parents. 

Oh, I never! 

I must be dreaming. This is not possible. Maboko is in front of a priest right now pledging his love and life to Linda for better or worse. 

He flashes the smile. That smile. The one that makes my head light and my stomach tight. This cannot be happening. 

“How are you doing, Tebza Tlou?” He says. 

I’m just so – 

“Maboko, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be getting married?”

“I needed to see you. Why didn’t you tell me that you are back?”

“What would you have done with that information?”

“I could have come to see you sooner.”

“I don’t want to see you. Why would I want to see the guy who cheated on me right before I left?”

“It was a mistake, Teboho. I went to LA to tell you that. I tried to find you. I spent three weeks there looking for you. I wanted to explain what happened.” 

Maboko must just stop it, now. Just stop! He’s making me angry. I preferred missing him and not listening to his excuses. 

“Well, your actions have been explanation enough for me. Clearly it wasn’t a mistake because here you are marrying her. It was a relationship. Don’t insult me by standing there and lying to me.” 

“Teboho – 

“Maboko please. It took everything inside of me to come back to Tholoana Kingdom. I stayed away from your wedding for a reason. Ke a kopa, Maboko. Ke a kopa with everything that exists inside of me. Please leave me alone. Please be with Linda and just let me go. You made your choice when you cheated on me ke le pregnant.” 

FUCK! That was not meant to – I didn’t mean to – shit!

“You were what?”

I don’t say anything to him. I just look away from his eyes. 

“Teboho, do we have a child together?”

I should probably say no. But I nod my head. 

“How could you keep something like that from me?”

“What did you expect me to do?”

“I expected you to tell me. Yes, I cheated on you and I’m sorry. But that didn’t give you a right to keep me away from my child. Just because you and I never worked out, it doesn’t mean that I was going to be a bad father.”

“Mommy, who’s at the door? You making a noise. We can’t hear our show.” Khabane says. 

I step outside and close the door behind me. I cannot even begin to describe the hurt in Maboko’s eyes. He even lets a tear run down his cheek. I feel bad. I should have told him. I just – 

“What’s my child’s name?”

“Khabane. He is five. He is a boy.” 

I rip his heart out even further. Maybe we need to just end this conversation. 

I am saved by his friend coming towards us. He is about to end this conversation. He stands next to us, observes the situation and mood, and then finally says: 

“Sho Tebza.”

“Hi Zakhele”. 

“You good?” 

“Yeah. You?” 

“I am good. I’m really sorry to do this, but we have to go.”

“No worries, I understand.” 

They’ve been friends since high school. These guys used to be THE guys in Tholoana Kingdom. Girls from other schools and our school wanted to be with them. They were rich. They made rich look cool. Every girl wanted to be in the front seat of their VW cars. Then there were the Mohale twins and their BMWs in matric. The memories I have with these people! I was the only reason that brought them into the township. As young as I was compared to them, I was the wife in that setting. 

Meanwhile…

This is not real! This cannot be real. I am supposed to be concluding my vows right now to my husband. Instead, I am in some room in the chapel, pacing up and down and praying with all my soul that Maboko does not stand me up on my wedding day. 

Where the hell is he? Whatever it is that he is doing, could it not wait until after today at least? I really do not want to start putting Teboho Tlou in my thoughts because if I do, I don’t like where my thoughts will take me. 

The media is here. The streaming of my wedding has begun and my groom is not even here yet. Everyone is trying to get hold of him and he has suddenly become uncontactable? Each of my bridesmaids are on their phones trying to locate my groom. Why?! Why, Maboko?! Why?!

“Is he really going to stand me up on my wedding day? What the hell is wrong with him?” I say, panicked. I cannot hold it in. 

“Linda, calm down. Maybe something happened and there is a good explanation for this.” Thelma says. 

Kabelo comes into the room we are in just before I respond to that stupid comment that Thelma has made. We all look at him. He better tell me that Maboko has arrived. I will accept nothing else. 

“We found Zakes. He is with Maboko. They are on their way.” Kabelo informs us. 

This does not console me in the slightest bit. I need to hear that he is waiting for me at the altar. That’s what I need to hear. I start breathing heavily. My chest is suddenly feeling extremely tight. Kabelo hugs me, calming me down and I break down in his arms. Where is Maboko?!

“He’s coming. He’s not going to do this to you. I promise you.” Kabelo says to me. 

“Kabelo, do I even want to know where he is?” I ask him between my sobs. 

“He is coming, Linda. That’s the important thing.” He tells me.

“I want to meet my son.” Maboko says to me. 

“Your what?” Zakes is – 

“She has a son. My son. And she kept him from me.” Maboko says it like – 

“So Kabelo wasn’t lying about that shit?” Zakes says. I’ve always hated that guy. Kabelo is such a douche. 

“Kabelo knew?” Maboko is now angry. 

“How long has he known?” Maboko enquires. 

“He told us a while ago, man. But we didn’t take him seriously because we thought he was just talking shit.” 

“How did he know?”

“I don’t know.” 

Maboko brings his attention back to me. 

“My son, Teboho. I want to meet him.” He says. 

“You need to go get married first. He will be here when you are done and I will let you meet him. Please don’t keep your bride waiting.” I say. 

He looks at me like I have truly broken him. 

“I really loved you, T. I probably will never stop loving you. It is important to me that you know that.” 

I want to tell him that I love him too. But instead, I step back into the house and close the door. I hang on to my side of the door, hoping that I can at least keep him with me. I wish in my little heart that he chooses me – does not go through with this wedding and we figure it out – just him, me and our son. Then I hear the car take off and I go through what I went through six years ago when I walked away from him for good – I accept that he has chosen her, yet again. 

“Linda, Maboko has arrived.” My mom comes into the room and says. 

I am not even relieved. I am pissed as hell. My face is wet from all my tears that I have cried out. If I had changing clothes, I would have changed out of my dress already. We are one and a half hours behind schedule. Where the hell has this man been? Do I even still want to go through with this? 

“Come on, babe. Let’s get your make-up fixed”, Zinzi says to me. Samke and Thelma are ululating and dancing around in excitement. I am not happy. I am just not happy. But I take a deep breath and place a smile on my face. It is not coming from my soul – I can promise you that much. 

Outside the church…

“So wena Kabelo, you decided to tell everyone but me that Teboho had my son?” Kabelo is actually full of shit. I don’t know why I’m still friends with this guy. He is such a waste nje as a human being. 

“She asked me not to tell you.” That’s a lie. Teboho has never like Kabelo. She would never talk to him about something like this then ask him to keep it from me. But let me humour this piece of shit. 

“And who exactly is your friend? Teboho or me?”

“You are the one that cheated on her. You did this to yourself.” I am going to punch this guy. I promise you, I am going to kill him. 

“You deprived my son of a father for five fucken years because I cheated? How does that even make sense in your head?”

“That’s nothing to you, right? Cheating and hurting people. It’s nothing to you? I mean you are supposed to be concluding your vows right now, but you just arrived coz you had to go see your ex and we are still arguing about your ex while your fiancé is crying in there. That means shit to you, right?”

“Fuck you, Kabelo! Fuck you!”

“HEY! STOP IT! WHAT THE HELL?!” I see Linda’s mom saying all of a sudden. Where did she even come from? 

I now also notice that there are some people standing around my groomsmen and I, looking at Kabelo and I go off at each other. I am so angry. I don’t even want to go through with today. I have a lot to think about. But these cameras in front of us right now, waiting for me to take my place on the altar and give an undeserving woman my last name – I cannot just walk away. 

“Maboko, are you alright my man?” Khotso asks me. 

“I just need a minute. Please.” I remove myself from my groomsmen. I take a bit of a walk around the front of the church. I have an entire son with the woman that I should be marrying today. If I go through with today, I will be complicating this entire situation and being completely unfair to Linda. I know where my heart is – it is with the love of my life and our son. 

I feel a hand over my shoulder. I look behind me. 

“Can we just start? You’ll finish whatever is going on here later. Please!” Linda’s mother tells me. 

And just like that, I am standing at the altar with the priest in front of me and my groomsmen lined up behind me. There are pictures being taken and cameras everywhere, capturing this surreal moment. My heart is not here; it is with Teboho Tlou and my son, Khabane. I search amongst the guests to find her parents and I see them there, sitting next to her sister, Tiisetso. Mrs Tlou did not even hint to my mom that Teboho has my son. They work together. Mrs Tlou is an educator at the school that my mom is a principal at. Did I really deserve to be left in the dark because I cheated? 

I keep having flashbacks of my conversation with Teboho. She thinks Linda wasn’t a mistake – she was. She is upset that I am marrying Linda. What was I supposed to do when she left me? I wipe my tears off my face as Linda now stands in front of me. She looks nice. I smile at her. I am going to try. She is my wife and for her, I will try to make sure that we leave this church as Mr and Mrs Seete. 

I hear nothing – NOTHING. I just see myself slide a ring on Linda’s finger and she slides one on mine. The next thing I know, we are kissing. Great, it is finally over. I am going back to Teboho now. 

“Are you alright?” Linda asks me as we exit the church and make our way to my dad’s Bentley that is waiting for us. 

“Yeah. You?” 

“You cried throughout the entire service. Did something happen?” 

No one deserves this. No one deserves what I am doing to her and possibly what I am about to put her through. 

“No baby. I’m just happy that this day finally came. We’ve been through so much.” 

“Where were you?” She asks me. 

I plead the fifth and say, “What do you mean?”

“Why were you late?” She doesn’t back down. She doesn’t deserve the answer to that question. 

“Linda, we just got married. Can we just enjoy this day without any fighting?” 

…

Evening… 

I left the reception while the vibe was still high. I couldn’t even stomach the alcohol that I paid a lot of money for. I asked Gwen, my sister, to bring my car around and I just slipped out. I am unbuttoning my top shirt button and take off my tie. I wish I had a cellphone number at least, just to phone her and ask her to meet me somewhere or to come outside and meet up with me. But it’s fine, I’ll do what I need to do. I will be part of my son’s life. 

I park my car outside of the Tlou yard here in the township. The township is still buzzing and it is well past midnight. It is actually 2am. Township life is – well, it is what it is. I notice that the lights are still on in the house, so I am going in. Tebza and I need to talk. 

As I stand in front of the door, I take my wedding band off and put it in my pocket. I can never trigger Tebza like that. Finally, I knock on the door. After my second knock, Tiisetso opens the door. She is still dressed in the outfit that she was wearing at my wedding – so are her parents. They are all looking at me. Tebza is not here with them. 

“Sho”, I greet her. 

“Sho”, she greets me back. 

“I’m sorry to be here at this time. I know it’s inappropriate. But I really have to see your sister.” I explain. 

“Ai, Maboko. I don’t think that’s a good idea watsiba. You just got married hle monna.” She says. 

“I know. But I promised her that I’d come back after the wedding. I need to see her.”

We look at each other for a brief moment. Mr Tlou walks up to the door. He looks at me. 

“Maboko, please respect my daughter. Firstly, it’s late. Secondly, you are a married man. What are you trying to turn my daughter into?” Mr Tlou says. 

Do these people understand that I love Tebza? She needs to know that and I need to know my child. 

“With all due respect, Ntate Tlou, your entire family and your daughter kept my son from me for five years. I believe I deserve some answers.” 

Tiisetso and Mrs Tlou look like they have just seen a ghost. Mr Tlou is just as shocked. How did these people think they can hide something like this forever? How did they support this kind of behaviour? 

“You do deserve answers indeed. But not at this hour. Come back during the day when the sun is out and make sure that you bring your parents and your wife with you.” Mr Tlou says. 

I guess that’s fair. I nod my head in agreement with Mr Tlou. 

“Goodnight Maboko”, Mr Tlou says, already closing the door before I can even say goodnight. But I say it anyway, “Goodnight, Ntate Tlou.”