Portia

Bus rides. I hate them with all of my heart. However, what can be done? Your girl has to work. I catch the 5am bus every morning and arrive at work just before 7am. I work in the warehouse at K-Pable-C. We work long hours and get paid very little. 

Today is my first day back at work from my four months maternity leave. My husband and I welcomed our fourth baby girl into the world. 

My husband works in the mining industry. He is a miner- a supervisor in his team. You would think that a household with two steady incomes can more than afford life. Not in my case. The collective salary between my husband and I is R30 000 per month after deductions. We use it to pay for school fees for our children. Two are in high school so we put them in former model c schools. One is in primary school, so she is still attending school in the township. She will go to a former model c school for high school as well. Our last one who I gave birth to four months ago stays with an old woman who looks after children for R300 a month. 

We pay monthly bond payments for our house in Ndofaya and take care of many other responsibilities we have in the house. We have hospitals plans, not medical aid because we cannot afford the medical aid rates. Then we support my husband’s family as well as my family. I wake up every morning to work for money that I seldom use on myself. I cannot remember the last time I bought myself a pair of shoes or any other clothing items. We keep hoping that promotions will bring us a better life, but our expenses keep on piling up as our children get older and as our families’ lives become more demanding. 

My eldest child, Unawe, is headed to university next year. My husband and I have paid for her application and have saved up to pay for registration. However, the fees are going to be a problem. My husband has already put off buying a car so that we can pay for her fees. He says he wants to study medicine. We want Unawe to study medicine. We hope she can get a bursary,but her marks are not attractive enough for medicine. The university does not find us to be poor enough to give us financial aid. We are contemplating taking Minenhle out of the former model c school and putting him back in the township. But is it fair? How do you trade off one child’s educational experience for another? Especially when Simphiwe is looking forward to finishing grade seven and going to a former model c school himself. 

I arrive at my stop and climb off the bus. Now, I walk for about five minutes to my workplace. But first, amagwinya. I have not had any breakfast. 

“Sawubona mama.” I greet Mam’Sibisi. She has a mobile kitchen that sells everything. I buy my fat cakes from her. 

“Weh Portia! It is so good to see you, ntombi! You look amazing. Is the baby healthy?” She asks me. 

“Very well mama, thank you.” I say, smiling. 

“How are the other children and husband adjusting to having a baby in the house?” 

“They are adjusting mama, thanks. Please give me amagwinya awu-3″, I place my order. 

She packs my fat cakes while chit chatting about. When she is done, I pay my R3 then make my way to the warehouse building. I call my husband to let him know that I am at work and I dropped our last born, Khetha, safely at Mam’Zodwa’s house. He lets me know that he is at work too and by the time he had left, Unawe and Minenehle had left to catch a taxi to school. He walked Simphiwe to school then got on a taxi to work. 

…

“Welcome back, Portia. I hope the new baby and your family are doing well. And I hope you are ready to get back to work, getting your hands dirty and all”, my boss, Miles tell me. 

“Yes sir, I am ready.” I reply.

“I see that you are still as early as you always have been and I thank you for your commitment to your work, Portia. It is greatly appreciated. This will give us some time to catch up and do the necessary hand-overs that are required. I had split your work amongst your team members. Now that you are back, I will schedule some time for the relevant team members to bring you up to speed with what’s happening. Last week, we had a meeting about who will be working throughout the December period. As you know, not all of us can go on a December break because we need to make sure that people are here to receive stock, to count it and to make sure that it is distributed adequately to our retail stores. You, by default, will be asked to work throughout December as you have been away for the past four months”, he says. 

“But Miles, I was having a baby. I was on maternity leave, not annual leave. I still have annual leave days. You cannot take those away from me just because I had a baby.” I tell him. 

“I agree with you. And I’m not taking away your leave days. They are all there. I ask that you use them in January or February when the team has returned from the December break, not in December because we will need you full time. I will be out of the country and Jackson, my boss, will also be on holiday with his family. We are giving you full delegation of authority. You will manage this place and the people who will be here working with you throughout December.” He says. 

“Miles, please don’t do this to me. I need to travel to King Williams Town with my husband this December. We need to do some rituals for my children, particularly the new born. I travel every December and I submit my leave in advance. You know this.” I plead my case. 

“Portia, I am trying to be nice here, but you are really making it difficult for me. Your family stories never come to an end and we all have to do our part here. Do you think all the people working here do not have family responsibilities? What makes you think your responsibilities are better than anyone else’s? Your daughter is going to university next year. Will you need leave in February to settle her in, too?” Miles is getting out of line now. This is not right. 

“I wouldn’t call going overseas a family responsibility. Well, I don’t equate it to needing to perform cultural rituals.” I say. 

“Portia, it is 2021. Your husband will be able to be mom and dad to your nursery school while you work. Many single mothers out there are both parents to their children. You are not special. You are expected to be at work throughout December or else you will considered to be absent without leave. Oh, and FYI, I never approved your leave for this year’s December because I knew you would only come back to work in November.” He says. 

“Can we bring HR into this?” I ask. 

“Get out of my office, please.” Miles. 

I get up from my chair and make my way to the changing rooms. I change into my warehouse boots and overalls. I am so discouraged. I have to pack my bag and phone away.

“Hey girl! Welcome back!” Lethu says. She is so loud. 

“I’m not your girl, wena. I am almost 40 years old. I am in no way a girl. Tshi!” I tell her. 

“Whoooo! Having a baby made you grumpier kanti? I was just being nice”, she says. 

“No. Bowuphapha.” I say. 

I admit, I am very cranky. I am in a bad place right now after my meeting with Miles. I need someone to help me out of this predicament. I feel like I am being punished for having a baby. Isn’t this some kind of discrimination? Today is Wednesday. HR is always part of our team meetings on Wednesdays. I will bring this up there. This is unfair. Miles is making me choose between my family and my job.

“Lethu, please bring me up to speed with what needs to be done and what the team is busy with. I want to get a head start before our team meeting.” I ask her. 

“Portia, you were a bitch to me five minutes ago. Now I must assist you? You’ve drawn the lines quite clearly, babes. Schedule time with Thami, Rendani and Khutso. Your work was split amongst them. They will bring you up to speed.” Lethu says this then walks away. Gosh, she is so childish. 

I go onto the floor. 

People are welcoming me back. I am not in the mood for all of this. Miles has honestly ruined my day. The men in the warehouse are much nicer. They bring me up to speed and let me help them with their tasks. By the time our meeting starts at 9am, we have pushed a huge bulk of the work. 

We are now in the boardroom and HR is in the room with us. 

I am first welcomed back by Miles and Jackson. Fuck both of them for what they are doing to me. 

“I hope that was the last one you popped out because you have an entire squad of kids and very little time for work”, Miles comments. 

The room laughs, including HR. This is not funny! 

I raise my hand as the laughter dies down.

“Yes Portia”, Rachel acknowledges me. Rachel is our HR lady. They call her the HR business partner for the warehouse. 

“The comment that Miles just made is very inappropriate, therefore I find it extremely concerning that you found it to be funny”, I say. 

Awkward silence fills the room. Good. 

“That comment is even more concerning considering that Miles has told me that because I have been on maternity leave, I cannot take annual leave during December. Miles knows very well why I have to take leave in December and I feel as if I am being prejudiced against. I thought it was all in my mind, but that comment he just made confirms my discomfort.” I say. 

“Rachel, I think it is best we take this conversation offline and in my office after this meeting. There is more to the story than what Portia is telling”, Miles says. 

“I will be joining you in that meeting please”, Jackson adds. 

Miles throws a daggering look at me. Good. I have him where I want him. 

The meeting uncomfortably proceeds and upon its conclusion, Rachel, Miles, Jackson and I make our way to Miles’ office while the rest of the team is left gossiping about me. 

“Ubuyile!” Khutso says.

“Besiphumulile shame.” Lethu says.

“Portia needs to understand that the team cannot always bow down to her family commitments. She has been gone for four months and the team carried the weight for her while she was raising her child. The team is now looking to her to carry them with other team members during the December period and she is telling us about family commitments as well? What makes her think people don’t have commitments at their homes? Why are hers special?” Miles. 

“I never said that mine are special. I applied for this December leave before I even went on maternity leave. You should have considered that before making people raise hands about coming to work in December. The team should have done the logical thing to do and applied for leave where even HR can track that attendance”, me. 

“Portia, you are in no position to make demands about how this team is run.” Miles. 

Silence. 

“I can’t work in December. I have family commitments that I cannot get out of”, I say. 

“Maybe this job is not a fit for you. Every new week comes with new excuses for you. It is even affecting your performance.” Miles. 

“My performance?” Me.

“Yes! Your performance. All these issues that you have are a clear indication that you do not have the capacity to be in this role. If you are not pregnant, you have to go be a makoti. If I had to go and pull your leave records over the ten years that you’ve been working in this company, you will even see that it’s always been about your family. Every other team member has taken turns in working in December. What makes you think you are exempt from that? Your makoti duties that await you in King Williams Town or your million children that need a mother? I have nothing against a woman who is dedicated to her family. But maybe, you are one of the people who were not designed to be a working mom or a working wife.” Miles says to me with so much arrogance. 

“That is enough!” Rachel finally intervenes. 

Jackson is shaking his head. I am shaking with anger. 

“Rachel, if you force me to approve her leave for December, you better make sure that when she comes back in January, she joins a team that can bend over backwards to all her family demands. I will not have it. She does not get to be special. If she stays in my team, she works throughout December with mine and Jackson’s designation of authority. On this point, I will not negotiate.” Miles. 

“You are in no position to be giving the company ultimatums, Miles.” Jackson. 

Silence. 

“Portia, you may be excused. Rachel will get back to you with feedback regarding your request. Thank you.” Jackson says. 

I nod my head then walk out of Miles’ office.

…

Our work environment does not allow for us to have our cellphones on us. So I can only check my cellphone during my lunch break. I usually sit by myself during lunch because that’s honestly the only time I get to be by myself. I seldom have me time and at times, I feel as if it makes me lose my mind. At home, I am surrounded by my husband and my four children. When I travel to work, I’m in a bus full of people who either open an impromptu church or are just chatting about. At work, it’s people everywhere. So during lunch, I find a bench far away from everyone and everything. 

I check my phone. 

There are no phone calls from my husband so I just sit and enjoy my lunch. 

After my lunch hour is up, I make my way back to the warehouse. I bump into Miles and he says to me, “Seeing that you will be taking leave during December, I am going to need you to knock off later and do administrative work. I need reporting on operations so I can do a thorough handover to the person who will have DOA in December”. 

I nod my head. I know he is trying to make this difficult for me. If I fight him on working overtime, I’ll simply be labelled as difficult. I guess I’ll have to choose my battles. 

Work continues into the late afternoon. At 5pm, I start doing the reporting that is required of me to do. At 6pm, I make my way to the bus station to catch the 6:30pm bus. 

…

I get home at 8pm and find my incredible husband and children already eating dinner. Before I can even sit down and ask them about their days, I receive a call from Miles. 

“Hello Miles”, I answer. 

“Portia, please email me the reports I asked you to do”, he says. 

“I started with them. I am not done yet”, I say.

“Please send them when they are done”, he says. 

“It won’t be today”, I say.

“Why not?” Him.

“Miles, you know very well that I do not take my work laptop home. It is unsafe and I could get mugged. I cannot exactly work from home”, I say. 

“Jesus Portia, you live with a jar of excuses. Honestly. I want those reports at 9am when I arrive at work tomorrow”, he says then hangs up. 

I just look at my phone and breakdown before my family. I really wish I had the option of resigning. I look at the five people in front of me and I am reminded why resigning is not even an option. My husband looks at me and seems to be reminded of his own inability to support this family without my salary. He feels bad and blames himself that I have to put up with this just so that we can eat at the end of the month. My poor kids, they don’t deserve to see their mother like this. 

…

My husband arranged with a neighbour to drive me to work at 3:30am. My husband said he would make sure the children are sorted when he gets back. I was at the office at 4am, working on these reports that Miles wants from me. I access the system and see that everyone’s data capturing is updated so it is easy for me to pull the data together and do the reports. It takes me about two hours to put the reports together, then I spend about thirty minutes putting the report into a presentation format. People start arriving at work. I send the report and the presentation to Miles and cc Jackson. I want this man off my back. 

I change and start my work. I saw Jackson come in earlier than Miles today. As I get to the floor, Jackson calls me into his office. 

“This work that you have done with the report is very good, Portia. Well done”, he says. 

I nod my head and smile. 

“That’s all I wanted to tell you. Thank you. It was only due next week, but I really appreciate you prioritizing this”, he says. 

That bastard!

I don’t tell Jackson about the pressure that Miles put on me to have it done by today at 9am, because remember, I’m choosing my battles. But I can see what Miles is trying to do. He wants to push me out. 

I make my way out of Jackson’s office and get a notepad. I write today’s date and note this incident. 

…

At 4pm today, people who arrived at 7am are knocking off. I suppose I can also call it a day. 

“Portia”, Miles calls to me as I make my way to the changing rooms. 

I look at him. 

“There’s a project that I’d like to put you on. Please stay behind so we can talk about it”, he says. 

Seriously? At 4pm when I am supposed to be headed home, he wants to talk to me about some project. 

I follow him to his office and when we get there, managers who sit in the big offices are sitting here as well. 

“Hi Portia, lovely to meet you. We are so excited about working with you. Jackson has told us so much about the work that you do, we are very happy to be working with you”, Mr Msomi says to me. 

“Thank you, sir”, I say.

“Shall we get to it please?” Mr Ramaru says. Mr Ramaru is the CEO of the company. His wife, Mrs Ramaru, is the COO of the company. Mr Msomi is the Managing Director of Sales and Analytics in the company. I wonder what this project is about. 

“The operations team has put together a turnaround strategy for the company. There have been some gaps that we have overlooked and the strategy seems to be inclusive of the warehouse staff. Your managers have nominated you to represent the warehouse operations in the task team that has been tasked to implement the proposed and approved strategy”, Mrs Ramaru says. She does not seem excited about the project, but then again, this woman is always sour. 

They are also using words I don’t understand right now. I need them to tell me what will be done and what the next steps look like to me. 

“You will temporarily be released from your duties here at the warehouse effective immediately. Tomorrow morning, you will report to my office and I will pair you with the intern who is spearheading this project and that you will be working very closely with. You will also meet with the project manager and the rest of the task team. Further instructions will be given then”, Palesa says. Palesa is the head of the operations department. 

I nod my head. 

“Congratulations Portia, we know that you will make us extremely proud”, Jackson says. 

“Thank you to all of you for the opportunity”, I say. 

I am then excused and the meeting proceeds without me. I am so happy I could cry. I don’t have to deal with Miles for the next few months. God really does hear our prayers. And I know that the people who sit at the big office live a better life and work under much better conditions than us here in the warehouse.