I like our new apartment. It’s a two-bedroom spacious apartment, but it’s fancier than the rooms we used to live in when we were living in Soweto. I can just see that Keith is struggling! He’s used to big spaces. He is used to the mansion he stayed in with his wife. He barely enjoyed the three-bedroom simplex we’ve just moved from. He only drives SUV vehicles. I’d like to console him that our situation is not all that bad. But I honestly cannot relate to his discomfort. 

Our bedroom is HUGE. He sleeps on the sleeper couch we have in the room. I sleep with Risuna on the main bed. The other room is Risuna’s bedroom and it is full of his toys and things. Keith bought him so many things that we didn’t have space to put a bed in there for him to sleep in. 

The TV room is his study, just with the TV. 

I’ve heard him frustrated that he’s losing business. Apparently, he used to get most of his clients from his wife’s father because he is in government. I guess this is the many ways that his wife will make him pay for their divorce. 

“Hey”, I greet him as I make my way to the kitchen via the TV room. 

“Ey”, him. 

He looks stressed. 

“Ushup?” I ask him. 

My son is taking a nap. 

“I’ve lost another client. At this rate, I’m going to have to shut down operations and either start something else or simply get a job”, he says.

I go sit next to him.

He’s staring at his laptop and he looks like he’s about to cry. 

“Keith”, me. 

He looks at me. 

“We need to be realistic about our situation. I need to find a job and help you. And I’m prepared to do that. Wandi and her mom say they have work for me at the church and I could earn enough to pay our rent here and get some groceries. You will have to think about getting a job as well. Your business was tied to your marriage and unfortunately, if you are letting go of your marriage, you will need to let go your business. I know you love your business and it’s your baby. But there are strings attached… strings you want to cut.” 

Now he cries. 

I pull him into a hug. 

“I worked so hard on this company. I haven’t been an employee for years. What position am I even going to apply for?” He says through his sobs.

“I don’t know, Keith. But you will have to think of something. And maybe, we could get a smaller car – if we even need one at all”, I say.

Now he comes out of my arms and stares at me like I’m crazy.

“Can we afford that car?” I ask.

“It’s paid up”, he says.

“And its maintenance?” Me. 

He falls back into my arms and cries again. 

“Keith”, me.

“I have some savings, Bassie. But I need to move them to your name. That’s what my lawyer says. Or else, I’ll have to give some to her. We are splitting everything that we’ve accumulated together in the marriage. So, I’ll get quite a good settlement from that. It will be enough to send Risuna to creche for two years minimum. I’ll trade the car in for something more economic.” He says.

“And I’m going to take the job at the church”, me.

He nods his head. 

“Keith, we are going to be okay”, I say.

“Are we?” Him. He sounds so hopeless. 

“Remember when you were in third year in varsity? I was in grade ten at the time. You phoned me and told me your parents hadn’t paid for your res and you were on the verge of being kicked out?” Me.

He laughs then says, “Yeah. And you’d come by after school to give me a lunchbox of food because the dining hall didn’t let me eat from there anymore.” 

“Then the day came when you came back from lectures and your room was locked. It wouldn’t be unlocked until you paid your fees. You thought the whole world was over”, I say.

“Only for me to phone you later. You convinced me to break into a house that was on the market and was being sold”, he says.

We both laugh. 

“But I brought food and blankets.” 

Now we look each other in the eye.

“And we made love”, he says.

“I lost my virginity that day. And I had no regrets because I was losing it to someone I trusted more than anyone in life and I knew you’d always be in my life.” I say.

He looks at me with dreamy eyes.

“Then your mom phoned and said it was sorted. Just like that, the situation came to pass. Just like this one… it’s come and it’s here now. But it will pass. O tlo bona“, I say to distract him from the sex part.

But he unbuttons my shirt. 

I look at him. 

I climb on top of him. 

I rip his shirt open. 

We kiss.

He carries me to the floor, thank God for our fluffy carpet. 

We stare at each other. 

I pull him closer to me. 

We finally do the dance! 

We are lying on the floor drunk on this moment and the sex that we’ve just had. We keep stealing looks at each other then laughing. I feel more and more in love with him. I cannot imagine Risuna having a better father. Truly. 

“You know, I still have the ten million rands that you and Noria gave me to exit our agreement regarding our baby”, I say as we lie on the floor. 

“I’m really ashamed of how we treated you. I’m really sorry, Basetsana”, he says.

I’m really not interested in this at the moment. 

“If you need a financial boost to start something for yourself, we have the capital”, I say.

He looks at me, faces his whole body towards me and says, “thank you. Truly, thank you so much, Bassie.”

I smile at him, facing my whole body towards him too.

“Maybe I should get a job though. The business was always Noria’s baby. I just sat in the CEO chair. But it’s not my thing. She just never wanted to date an employee so she “made me.” Besides, to open a business would be risky for me. Her family pretty much owns Johannesburg. They will block me and plot my failure before I even start”.

He sees how disturbed I am by this. 

“But keep it safe and hidden somewhere. We will need it after my divorce is final. She wants everything. I even had to put this apartment in your name so she wouldn’t touch it.” He says. 

I brush his face. 

His eyes are so beautiful. 

“You have Risuna. And you have me. You are not losing everything”, I say.

“You promise that I won’t lose you guys?” He sounds so…

I kiss him. He starts touching me all over the place. 

“I promise”, I say between our kisses.

“So… you and me…” Him.

“So… you and me…” me.

“I want us to be forever. I want us to be together. Like this. Forever.” He says.

“I’ve wanted that since we were teenagers”, I say.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve saved us both a lot of heart break and drama.” 

“I didn’t know that you wanted it too.”

“I did. But I always thought you were too good for me… that you’d find someone better than me and someone who is more deserving of you than me.” 

“Like who?” Me.

“I don’t know”, him. 

He genuinely sounds sad. 

“There’s never been anyone, Keith. It’s always been you. Always. I’d pray for you. I’d pray about you. I’d always blush when people called me your girlfriend. I’d get butterflies in my stomach every time someone would say that you and I would get married. Then you left… and you chose her… and you cut me off… you really hurt me.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That you loved me so much.”

“You did know. I never hid it from you. How else do you explain me giving you a baby? I’d never do that for anyone else.” 

He kisses me, climbing on top of me again. I smile at him. 

“I love you. I always have and I always will”, he tells me.

I smile.

We have another steamy session of love making.

…

I’m having lunch with my lawyer. We’ve just come back from court and my divorce is finalized. Bassie is at work. I texted her and told her how it went. She phoned me and we chatted for a bit. Noria took everything. EVERYTHING. Bassie told me not to fight it. She told me that Noria would want to make things difficult, so I must just agree to everything. We will be okay. So, I let her take everything. I couldn’t even afford to pay my lawyer or for this lunch. Fortunately, I have Bassie’s card with the ten million rands that Noria sent to her to stay out of our lives. Bassie gave it to me this morning and told me to use it how I see fit. I paid my lawyer fees and I’m paying for this lunch. 

I haven’t spoken to my brothers in a minute. I know I’m going to need to do so soon because I need a job. They are connected and hopefully they can make a plan for me. Noria and her family black-balled me across South Africa. And I don’t feel great living off Bassie. She makes good money at the church and she says she doesn’t mind. But I’m not for this at all. That Senzi guy offered me a job at that church. I need to understand what kind of church this is. They are offering me a very healthy salary. How do they make that kind of money off tithing? 

Bassie says that I should take the job. It’s a finance role. Bassie is the receptionist at this place and our son attends creche there. Even the creche is fancy. 

After the lunch with my lawyer, I head into my car. I take one last long drive in my Jeep. At around 3pm, I drive to Audi. I do the one thing that I’ve been dreading this whole time. I have to let my car go and get something affordable. After negotiations and chatting, I’m able to buy Bassie an Audi A1 four-door vehicle. Then I get myself the A4. It’s one hell of a downgrade, but you know what, this is not permanent. This is a promise that I’m making to my son, to my girlfriend and to myself. This WILL pass. This is not the end for me. It’s not. I’ll start off by taking the job that Senzi is offering me. Then I’ll work my way to doing my own thing again. But we need to get a bigger place. That two bedroom that Bassie, my son and I are stuck in is driving me crazy. 

6pm. 

Bassie and Risuna just got home. 

“Hey”, she says. 

I kiss her, take her bags and Risuna from her then I greet her back. 

“You alright?” She asks me. 

“Yeah, I’m good. How are you? How was your day?” I ask her. 

“It was okay. I’m just tired and my feet hurt.” I say.

“Well, I’ve cooked dinner. So, I can give you a foot massage before we eat”, I say.

She smiles at me. 

“But I want to show you something first”, I say.

“Okay”, she says, giggling as if she doesn’t trust me.

I hold her hand and pull her to outside where I’ve parked her car.

She screams and runs around the car. My son is screaming too, but I doubt he knows what he’s screaming for. I’m just laughing at her reaction. It’s the highlight of my day actually. 

Now she jumps up and down then hugs me. 

I show her my A4 as well. She says it’s nice but is not as excited as seeing her car. Trading in the Jeep definitely feels worth it. 

I’m rubbing her feet now. She says she doesn’t feel hungry. Risuna is on her boob minding his own business. 

“Are you okay? You know… after today?” She asks me.

“I’m relieved. It was just ugly. She left me with nothing.” I say.

“You have us. We will build again. Together. We don’t want her things to be our foundation”, she says.

“I feel like I’m failing you guys. I feel like I’m not providing for you and Risuna”, I tell her.

“Look Keith, I don’t know what kind of relationship you had with Noria. But I believe that providing for this family is my responsibility as much as it is your responsibility. And this is life. Everything is seasonal and nothing is forever. Sometimes, it will fall on me to look after us. Sometimes, it will fall on you. The important thing is that we have a common goal. That goal is success for our family. So, I’m not in your life to change you, put pressure on you, drive you to suicide or be your first born responsibility. I’m your partner. You come to me as much as I come to you. We put our heads together and we figure it out. That’s it.” 

I actually get emotional. 

She smiles at me. 

“We are going to be fine. We don’t need mansions and cars with names I cannot pronounce to be okay. We could live in a shack and it would still be home for me. As long as I have you and our son”, she says.

“You mean that?” 

“I do”. 

Wow! 

I lean in and kiss her. 

The little man slaps me. 

Oh, I’m interfering with his boob time. 

“Sorry”, I say to him.

Bassie laughs at us. 

“I spoke to Senzi. I’ll be taking the job.” I tell her. 

“Congratulations!” She says.

I smile at her.

“See? We are going to be great”, she says.

“Yeah. But we need to get out of here. This place is too small.” I say.

“Oh Keith… you and big assets. Big house. Big car. Big career with a big title”. She says and laughs.

I giggle.

“Have you seen a place you like?” She asks me.

“There are four-bedroom duplexes that are not too far from here. And they are affordable. If we buy it cash, it will be about R2.5million.” I say.

She gives me a blank stare. 

“What?” I ask her.

“You just spent R1.8 million paying your lawyer. Now you want to spend that kind of money on a place to stay. Keith, we need a rainy-day fund and some money to put away for Risuna’s education. We can’t just blow through that money and have no other plan outside of our jobs”. She says.

“I know. We will put R5 million away. We will even take it to a bank and put in a trust for Risuna. But we can use some of it to just start ourselves out. Then we can invest a bit of it as well, so we have something else tied to our assets.”

She shakes her head at me. 

“Bassie –

“You are not married to Noria anymore. Money doesn’t just flow in here like milk and honey. You need to be less reckless on your spending or we will find ourselves broke or without savings.” She aggressively says. She even removes her feet off my lap. She’s pissed. 

Ja… I need this job. We can’t fight about money like this. And I’m not prepared to live in a two-bedroom flat for too long. 

It’s my first day at work today. Bassie is kind of still not talking to me. I’m getting ready for work. I can hear her fight with Risuna as well. I think she’s trying to feed him and he’s just trying to sleep. 

She comes into the bedroom, looks at me, then finishes up getting ready. 

“I’m sorry, Basetsana. I agree with you. We should spend more responsibly”, I say.

She takes a deep breath then says, “I’m also sorry. I didn’t have to speak to you that way or bring Noria up in an argument.”

“It’s okay. It’s a reality that I needed to hear.”

She nods her head then says, “You look nice. And you smell nice. Those church girls will be all over you.” 

I laugh and say, “Well, I’m taken.”

“Do you think they care? That’s just motivation for them to just come on stronger. And rumour has it – by all the men they’ve been with at the church – that they are freaks”. She says.

I’m honestly in stitches. I can’t believe she’s jealous. But she’s cute. 

“Are they bigger freaks than you?” Me.

Now she blushes. 

I laugh at her. She giggles.

“Just promise me that I won’t lose you to them.” She says.

“You won’t lose me to anyone. I promise”, I tell her. Then I kiss her. 

“We can get that place you were talking about”, she says. 

“Really?” I’m actually shocked.

“Yeah. Risuna is growing up and he needs to get out of our bed soon. I doubt either three of us want to end up sleeping in the TV room. We do need the space”, she says.

I smile at her.

“But no luxury spending for the next few years. Please”, she says.

I kiss her. She’s the best! 

We drive in one car to work. We are all headed to one place anyway. We first drop the little man off at school, then we head to the office. 

Bassie settles at her desk at reception. Senzi meets me downstairs then he shows me to my office. Yep, I have an office. A very nice office. This place looks nothing like a church, a church business or a church building. It’s very far from being humble. 

I meet a group of guys who I’m now learning are Sbu, NTK, Jake and Miles. They are actually funny.

“So around here, we either chill in Senzi’s office or Miles’ office. Now that we got you in an office too, we chill in yours too. The rest of us sit in an open plan”, one of the guys say.

“You just had to be the coffee that these women like, didn’t you? Strong, dark and handsome… and fucken tall. As our chances decrease!” Another says and we all laugh. 

This is actually nice. When I was a CEO, no one interacted with me like this. I’d be jealous of these kinds of conversations when I’d walk past them. And when I walked passed them, people would just be quiet. 

“We hear you are in there with Bassie? How did you do it? That girl gives no one a chance and she isn’t even nice about it”, this one is probably going to annoy me the most. 

“Bassie is the mother of his child. So shut up”, Senzi.

“Is she a crazy baby-mama?” The annoying one.

“She’s my woman. And maybe we can start talking about her with some respect around here”, I’m not even laughing as I say this. They all see that I’m not joking about this. 

They all actually leave my office. 

Good! 

“Mr N”, I hear a female voice say to me. 

Who’s this? 

“Yes?”

“I’m Charity. I’m the assistant choir lead”, she says.

That’s actually a job around here? I wonder what her payslip looks like.

“Okay”, me.

“I thought I’d come say hi. Maybe show you around if you have some time?” She says.

This is probably one of those church girls that Bassie warned me about. 

“No thanks. My girlfriend, Bassie, will show me around when she and I get a minute.” I say.

She seems disappointed.

“Bassie? As in the receptionist?” She says with disgust. 

“Yes”, I say.

She just stares at me. What kind of working place is this?! 

She storms out of my office and slams the door. It’s glass by the way. Ja neh, I need a reminder that I’m here for my family. So, the first thing I put on my desk is a digital frame that slide shows my girlfriend, my son, my mother, my brothers, my nieces and my nephews.