My foot is healing quite well. 

Senzi has gone back to work. He has been on leave for a month helping me to get back into shape. Now, I just use a moonboot to move around, but I’m able to do quite a bit around the house – enough to even be on my own while he heads back to work. 

My mom has been sleeping over and keeping me company. I won’t lie, I love having her around. She has told me all about her new love interest. She is dating some guy named Khotso Mohale and he is a big deal in Tholoana Kingdom. She also told me that he has two kids that she’s formed a bond with. I’m happy for her. I was worried that she’d end up settling for my dad because her options were not too handsome. I’m glad that she likes someone else and that she seems happy… in love even… and ready for a blended family. The only downside here is that she is moving to Tholoana Kingdom. I’m going to miss her big time. She says I can visit her as often as I like and that she will be flying in as and when I need her. In my view, it’s not the same as having her around all the time, but I must say that I understand her more than she thinks. The only thing that kept her here is me. I’m married. I’m starting my own life with Senzi. She does need to have her own life. She needs to give herself a chance. And I don’t want to be selfish. I want her to be happy and I vow to be supportive. 

I’m in the kitchen just preparing a shake for myself that I’ll be having for breakfast. I get a call from the gate that my father-in-law is here. I’m expecting my brothers and my dad – I’m not sure why Senzi’s dad is here. Senzi is not here. 

I never say much to him. He never says much to me. We never say much to each other. This is awkward! 

As he walks into the house, I greet him.

“Sawubona bab’Twala.” 

“Yes Wandisa”, he says. 

He speaks quite… I don’t know. Something about his voice and tone is very… old. 

“Kunjani bab’Twala?” Me.

“Good good good, ntombazane. God is always good.” He says. 

Should I say amen or?

“Baba, uSenzi akekho. He’s at work. He will be back at the end of the week.” I say… just to put it out there. 

“I’m aware, Wandisa. Ngiyabonga. I was hoping that I could maybe talk to you”, he says.

“To me?” I’m actually shocked. 

“Yebo Wandisa. I hope it’s not a problem. You are my daughter now, isn’t it?” 

I just nod my head. 

“Okay, let me make you something to eat and drink. Tea okay?” 

“Yes, thank you very much”. 

He gets comfortable while I make him some tea. My mom and I baked when she was here, so I put some baked biscuits on a side plate too. 

So, bab’Twala and I are now chilling in the dining room. He is sitting across the table from me. He is ENJOYING these cakes and tea shame. 

“Wandisa”, he begins. 

“Yebo bab’Twala”, me.

“Do you believe in dreams?” 

Hai bo! This man came all the way here to be all deep with me? We’ve never even spoken about the weather or our feelings. Now we are talking about dreams?! Ai ngeke! 

“Angizwa bab’Twala?” I need him to clarify. 

“Do you believe in dreams? Do you believe that messages can come to you through dreams?” 

Ja neh.

We are about to be very deep. 

“Kungani ubuza bab’Twala?” I ask him. 

“I had a dream that I cannot talk to anyone about. I came to you because I have noticed that you have a different way of thinking compared to a lot of people that are around me. I was hoping that I could talk to you and trust you with what I’m about to tell you.” 

The last thing I want to be is the woman who carries all the family secrets around here. I’d really rather be the stupid woman who knows absolutely nothing about the family. Hai ngeke mfwethu! This is not my alley!

“My father came to me in a dream. He was with quite a few men that looked just like him. I assume those are his brothers. I didn’t really know his family. I made a decision ukuba ikholwa at a very young age and as we know, sometimes ukuba ikholwa akuhambisani kahle nesintu. So, when my belief and my culture came into conflict, I chose my beliefs. So, I left the house of my father. Hence, I don’t recognise the men he was with”, he says. 

He slurps his tea and munches on a cookie. Maybe I should have offered him breakfast. He’s eating those cookies and drinking that tea as if he’s hungry. 

He continues with his story…

“They came to me very angry, basically telling me that Senzangakhona is not my son. How dare I give him the Twala surname. They told me that they are not resting in peace because Senzangakhona’s ancestors are fighting for him.” 

I am in so much shock! 

“Angizwanga bab’Twala?”

How could he say that?! How?! He is the only father that Senzangakhona knows! And of all people, why does he tell me this?! What am I supposed to do with this information because I’m going to tell my husband? I can’t keep something like this from him.

“This is not the first time I’m having this dream, Wandisa. And every time I wake up from it, I have scars from being lashed on my body.” 

“Baba, you are Senzi’s father. And if you don’t believe in isintu, why now? Why take this so seriously?” I mean… 

“I’ve prayed about this… a lot. I’ve asked God to just show me what I need to know so that my spirit could be at peace. But the dream is just not going away.” 

Now he’s staring at me. 

I’m actually crying. This is going to kill Senzi.

“Bab’Twala, uSenzi is not going to survive this.”

“Laura needs to give both Senzi and I an explanation of where Senzi comes from. This is something that will affect you, Wandisa. You are to be Mrs Twala and that’s not even Senzangakhona’s surname. Then you’ll have children. They should be Twalas too? USenzangakhona akayena owakwaTwala.”

I don’t even know what to say.

I’m still trying to understand why he has chosen to tell me this. 

My cellphone interrupts us. It’s the gate telling me that Khanya is here. He’s probably here with Khosini and my dad. I tell the gate to let them in. 

The bishop fixes himself and prepares himself to leave. He’s just going to leave me here with this bomb that he’s dropped on me?! Really?! 

By the time my father and brothers walk in, he has said goodbye and has thanked me for listening. He doesn’t tell me what to do with this information. He greets my father and brothers, then he leaves. 

I take a DEEP breath!

“And then? Bishop?” Khanya is starting and I’m still shook! 

“Ubabazala. Kanti why vele?” Me. 

“He gives paedophile vibes. The man in the white collar, carries a Bible everywhere and looks like he has a wife who doesn’t give him any”, Khanya.

Khosini laughs. 

“Khanya, khuzeka!” Me. 

He puts his hands up in surrender and apologises.

“How’s your foot?” My dad asks me.

“It’s getting better. I can do a lot more now. I’ll be seeing my doctor next week for a check-up”, I say. 

“That’s good. So, your mom tells me that uwile while you and Senzi were having sex.” My dad mara. 

“We were not having sex”, I say. 

“So, what happened? Because that does not look like a miner fall down the stairs”, my dad says.

Khanya and Khosini give me a naughty look accompanied with smiles. 

“We were getting comfortable in the kitchen. Then lady Laura walked in, scared us and I fell off the kitchen island”, I explain. 

“Comfortable you say?” Khosini.

“Yes Khosini. I’m a married woman. Sometimes I get comfortable with my husband in the kitchen”, I say.

“What does getting comfortable mean?” Khosini. 

Now my dad smiles at me.

“We were making out”, I say.

“Hmmmm”, the three of them say at the same time. Then they look at each other and laugh. 

Mxm! 

…

I just got home from quite a busy week of flying. I walk into my house. It’s dark, so I’m assuming that my wife is fast asleep. I put my keys, cellphone and wallet down. I switch on the light. My wife is here. Posing. In purple and lacy lingerie. She has a bottle of wine in her hands. Even the moonboot is hella sexy on her right now.

“Hey hubby. I thought I’d pick up some wine for us for tonight”, she says then she walks off. Obviously, I follow her to wherever she leads me. My penis is wide awake and ready for her! We end up in the bar and we have explosive sex in here on one of our couches. 

…

We wake up in the morning and are still lying naked in the bar. She’s still passed out on my chest. I kiss her forehead. I didn’t mean to wake her up, but she’s waking up right now. 

“Hey you”, she says as she yawns.

“Hello my beautiful wife”, I greet her. 

She climbs on top of me. 

I smile at her. 

“I missed you”, she says.

“I missed you too. You should come on these trips with me”, I say.

She giggles and says, “And what about my businesses and all this work that your mom is sucking me into each and every day?” 

“Is she still giving you a hard time?” I ask her.

“She and my mom deal with each other all the time. I think I’m okay for now. And I just want to stay out of her way so that she doesn’t have anything to bother me about.” She says.

I pull her in for a kiss.

“Love”, she says. Now she looks… worried. Stressed almost.

“Yes, my love?” 

She takes a deep breath. 

“I need to tell you something”, she says.

“Okay?” Me. 

“It’s such a… I don’t know where to… I don’t even know if I should tell you, but…” She takes a deep sigh then climbs off me. She’s even sweating. She finds my white shirt that I wear under my blazer and wears it. My clothes always look good on her – even uniform. I just put on my underwear and a vest.

What is it?! 

“Wandi? What is it? You know you can tell me anything.” I reassure. 

She starts crying. 

What is it?! I’m so worried now. She starts fanning herself with her hands. 

Now I stare at her. 

As pilots, we talk a lot about how us being away so often could lead to our women cheating on us. But I always say, “not my Wandi”. I sincerely pray that she has not proven me wrong. The way she has become, I don’t know what to think. What could be so bad that she’s in this state and not telling me what’s going on? 

“Your father came to chat to me a few days ago. He says he’s been having dreams… and in those dreams, his father comes to him. His father is there with elders who look just like him, but he doesn’t really recognise them. And they tell him that…” She breathes.

I actually starting giggling in disbelief. 

She looks at me – SHOCKED.

I’ve been having these exact dreams too. I’ve just never known who these people are. They yell at me then turn their backs on me.

“Senzi?” Wandi searches me for what’s going on in my mind.

“They come to me too. Those people come to me too. They shout at me then they turn their backs on me. They’ve been coming to me since I was ten years old”, I tell her. 

Her eyes widen. 

“What do they tell you?” She asks me. 

“That I’m not a Twala”, I say.

“They tell your dad the exact same thing”, she says.

I nod my head.

“So why tell you? Why not come to me and talk to me? Or talk to the woman who has actually cheated on him? His hypocritical wife?!” I’m actually angry hey.

“Nami angazi, Senzi. He didn’t even tell me what to do with the information”, she says.

She looks really stressed out. She’s even shaking.

“Come here”, I say to her. 

She walks towards me. 

I hug her. 

She holds onto me dearly. 

“Sizokwenzani, Senzi?” She asks me.

“Angazi, baby. I don’t know”, I say.

“Whatever you decide, ngikhona. I’m your wife. We do it together”, she says.

I kiss her. This is why I love my wife so much. She is, without a shadow of a doubt, my Bebe Winan’s ‘With All My Heart’. 

–

I have just dropped off Wandi at her office. She said she had some orders to start working on. I’m now headed to work. I actually don’t know how to address this thing. But my father needs to tell me why he went to Wandi. For what?! Wandi is freaked out by this. I should be freaked out too, I know. But I’ve been suspecting for quite some time. Firstly, I started having these scary dreams of men who look like my father but nothing like me making it very clear that I’m not one of them and I’m not welcome to be one of them. When I told my mother about these dreams, she told me it was the work of the devil and she’d pray for me. But her reaction is what had me suspicious… she was shaking, scared almost. And she’d ask me every day if I had had those dreams again. She stopped asking when I told her that I had stopped having the dreams. 

The second part of my suspicion was brought about by their story of how I was conceived. It just didn’t make sense to me. I am a man of faith, but I’m also a man of science. Yes, I was their miracle. And yes, science can only go so far, then the rest is up to God. But I’ve heard my parents fight multiple times about having more kids. I’ve heard doctors tell them that it’s impossible for my dad to have kids… even after me. So how does he become fertile just to conceive me then infertile all over again? But my mom is a brilliant manipulator. It’s one of the many reasons why I don’t want her being close with Wandi and I’d never trust a woman who’s very close to my mother. As far as deceitful women go, she takes the cup. I’m even too scared to find out who my father is because any man brave enough to sleep with my mother then never come back to fight her for me is a man I’m not interested in knowing. But clearly, I need to lose the Twala surname. I’m not interested in having my mother’s surname at all. So I’m assuming that I’ll have to find my father, just so I can carry a surname that won’t torment my wife or give me nightmares. It would actually be better if my biological father is dead. Then I can just take his surname and wear is’phandla then call it a day. 

My cellphone rings as I park my car in my parking at work. It’s my wife. 

“Hey baby”, I answer my phone.

“Nana, I’m worried about you”, she says.

I switch off my engine. I take a deep breathe.

“I don’t know what to do, Wandi.” I say.

“Maybe we can ask my mom to help us.” 

“How so?”

“She and your mom seem to have known each other before my mom even went to jail. Maybe she knew your mom before we were even born. Maybe she can tell us who else was in your mother’s life at the time.” 

It’s a good plan. But, and I tell her, “I don’t want to know my father. I don’t care to know him. I have to find him because I need to change my surname. Clearly, the Twalas don’t want me. And I’d rather have nothing to do with my mom’s family. I just need to be identified properly so that you and I can get married and not be haunted by ghosts that don’t want me. I want to have kids and I don’t want them suffering because of this.” 

“Why don’t you want to know your father, love?” 

“Because he’s never been interested in me. He never wanted me.” 

“But Senzi, how do you know that? You don’t even know if he knew about you. And even if he did know about you, you don’t know his reasons for staying away. Do you really want to make that decision without giving him a chance to speak for himself?” 

I breathe. 

“Baby”, her.

“Love”, me.

“We don’t have to have it all figured out by today. We don’t. We can take baby steps until we get to where we need to be to conclude all of this.”

“Wandi… I almost crashed a plane because I thought I was dodging those men. This thing is becoming serious. The Twala people don’t want me. I need to let this surname go.” 

“Senzi, why didn’t you tell me about this? About your dreams? About how severe this is becoming? I thought we spoke about everything”, she says.

“Singabakholwa Wandisa. I was embarrassed. I didn’t even know where to start.” 

“We promised each other the truth no matter how uncomfortable or embarrassing it is. If I didn’t tell you about your dad’s visit, bowuzofa nayo le nto?” She’s getting upset.

“Ngiyaxolisa sthandwa sami”, I say. 

She breathes. She wants to yell at me. I can hear it in her voice. But something is stopping her. 

“You’ll tell me what you want to do when you are ready then”, she says, very defeated.

“Wandi, don’t be like that. Baby, ngiyaxolisa. I need you.” 

“And when did you make that decision, Senzi?” 

“Wandi –

“It’s fine, I understand. This is not about me and I don’t want you to start making it about me. It’s your issue and it’s your right alone to decide how to deal with it. You know where to find me when you need me. Ube nosuku oluhle.” She says then she hangs up. 

Fuck! I even punch my steering wheel. 

I walk into the building ignoring every “Good morning Pastor Twala” I come across. I head straight to Ms Ngwenya’s office. She’s never here so I’m taking a chance. Wandi did tell me that she’s preparing to go live in Tholoana Kingdom. I just hope she’s still wrapping up things here. She must know something. I mean, my mom made up an entire executive position just for her. She knows who my father is. And I know she hates my mother. I hope she hates her enough to not keep her dirty secret. 

I walk into Ms Ngwenya’s office and to my luck, she’s in a meeting with my mom and a bunch of shady men. 

I stand in her office and stare at her. She looks at me. 

“Senzi? Is everything okay? UWandisa uright?” She says, standing up from her chair and is completely concerned.

I stare at her. I stare at my mom. These men stare at me. Who the fuck are they? I see one who kinda looks like me. But I remove my mind from there. Maybe I’m just seeing things now that it’s confirmed that Samuel Twala is not my father. Maybe I look at random men and see my dad in them. But I have his features. And I’m mixed race like him. Not a black and white typical mixed race. It’s a breed of exotic mixes. My mom always said I look like some dead relative from her side of her family. 

I take a deep breath.

“Senzangakhona!” My mom. 

I lock this office’s door. 

Now they are all scared. Or so I think. These men are hard to read. 

I walk up to Ms Ngwenya and look her in the eye. I see some fear in her eyes. Good.

“Who’s my father?” I ask her. 

“SENZANGAKHONA!” My mom starts losing her mind.

“YOU SHUT UP! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU HAD THIRTY-THREE YEARS TO TELL ME THE TRUTH! YOU CHOSE NOT TO!” I’m really angry now hey. I didn’t realise how much this had hurt me.

“SENZANGAKHONA, LISTEN TO ME”, my mom tries but I’m not interested.

“NO! I CAME TO YOU WHEN I STARTED HAVING TERRIFYING DREAMS ABOUT THIS! YOU TOLD ME IT WAS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL. NOW I FIND OUT THAT DAD HAS BEEN HAVING THE SAME DREAMS TOO! AND OF ALL PEOPLE, HE TELLS MY WIFE ABOUT THESE DREAMS INSTEAD OF THE WHORE THAT ACTUALLY CHEATED ON HIM!” 

Now my mom is crying. Why is she crying?! I’m crying too! I’m hurt! I’m angry! Wandi’s mom is also emotional. One of these men – the one that looks like me – he looks like he wants to cry too. One of the men who are with him are comforting him as if…

“EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU KNOW WHO THAT MAN IS! AND YOU JUST WON’T TELL ME?! YOU’D RATHER I BE HAUNTED BY GHOSTS THAT DON’T WANT ME THAN JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH?! I ALMOST CRASHED A PLANE BECAUSE OF THOSE TWALA GHOSTS THAT DON’T WANT ME! YOU’D RATHER I DIE THEN TELL ME THE TRUTH?! MS NGWENYA, YOU’D RATHER WANDI BE A WIDOW THEN GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE BY FIXING A MESS I DIDN’T EVEN CREATE?!”

“Senzangakhona, please… I’m begging you, my son.” My mom says in a soft voice and through her tears. 

“I don’t ever want anything to do with you again, Laura Twala. I’ll lose the Twala surname because I have to. What choice do I have?! They’ve made it clear that they don’t want me. It’s fine. But I spit on your Ghanaian ancestors too. I want nothing to do with you or them! I’ll find my father. I don’t even need to have a relationship with him. I just need his surname and is’phandla. I’ll live without him like I have all these years. But you… you stay away from me!” 

“His name is Shaka Maphumulo.” My mom says.

I stare at her. She stares at me. 

“I asked him for a baby because your father couldn’t have any. It was killing him each and every day to not have an offspring. So, I asked Shaka to help me then I’d never bother him with you. We agreed that you’d be raised by Samuel and me. He tried to reach out and just even say hello to you. But I refused. I never let him. The deal was that you were to be Samuel’s son, not his. Plus, he’s married and has his own family.”

I actually cannot believe my ears right now.

My mom now looks at me. 

“Where does he live?” I ask her. 

“I’m right here, son”, the man who looks just like me says.

I stare at him. He stares at me. 

“I’m so sorry, my son”, my mom says.

“Mr Maphumulo, please help me get rid of this surname. Then we don’t ever have to talk again. Ever!” I say. 

I open this office and I exit. 

“You can’t drive, Senzi”, Bassie says to me. I’m such a mess. I knew she was coming in today for an interview. I just didn’t expect to bump into her.

“I’m taking you to Wandi, okay?” She says. 

“Myeke, Bassie. It’s okay, I’ll take him”, I didn’t even see that Ms Ngwenya was following me. 

I don’t even know how we get to the car. But we do. And she drives off. I just FALL APART!