One Year Later…

The last year has been crazy. I don’t even know where to start. Let’s start with that social climbing uncouth hoodrat, Khosi. That bitch joined a reality show because well, she’s Khosi. She started talking shit about us and trust me when I say she went in on Thuli’s and Tee-le’s relationship. Tee-le ended up opening a case against her and the show itself so she got fired and the show had to publicly apologize to every person who was mentioned on that show because of Khosi. From there, she kinda just vanished from the face of the earth and no one misses her, babes. 

Tee-le and Thuli welcomed their baby girl after hours of labour, but a very safe delivery. She is so gorgeous. Her name is Khumo Serame. Thuli is also Mrs Thuli Serame now. Tee-le paid lobola then they went to Home Affairs and signed because Thuli did not want to be a pregnant bride. Now we are all waiting for her to lose weight so we can attend this wedding. 

Tee-le’s mother moved in with Tee-le and Thuli when Thuli was about to deliver Khumo. That obviously didn’t work. Home girl came into that house with a plan. She thought Khumo was her child and treated Thuli like her makoti incubator. After Khumo was born, she became worse and Tee-le disappointed big time. He didn’t put his mom in her place. Tee-le came home after a world cup final where they had lost and found his house missing his wife and daughter. His mom said that Thuli went to the shops, but had been gone for a while. Tee-le gave me a call to find out if Thuli and Khumo were with me. I told him they went back to Mpumalanga and if he has any plans of bringing them back, his mom has to go.

He went to Mpumalanga and has not been back since.

Paula – oh my friend. She welcomed a Mrs Tloung number two. Paula has not been taking Nomzamo’s arrival very well. It’s not even because Nomzamo is a bad person. She really isn’t. She’s a surgeon who minds her own business and loves the hell out of her son and Leruo. There are clearly other things that are happening and have probably happened that Paula hasn’t told me because today, she is headed to a psychiatric clinic for admission. I am driving her there because she doesn’t want Leruo anywhere near her.

She hasn’t said much since I picked her up, dropped her kids off at her mother’s place, and now we are about twenty minutes away from this clinic that she will be at. The clinic is in South Africa.

I don’t say much to her neither because I also have my own issues. Shack and I haven’t been great. I found out from Khosi on her reality show that Shack has a mistress. In fact, that mistress was on that damn show and was Khosi’s BFF on the show. Her name is Litha. Litha and Shack have been together for years, they even have a daughter together. So much for me being the most spoiled wife, right? I have kicked Shack out of my house and the only thing we now talk about are our boys.

The boys definitely miss having him at home, but I am so hurt and so disappointed that I cannot bring myself to talking to him. He has even resorted to asking Thuli to talk to me, but Thuli also tells him shit. Good!

My phone rings. It’s Thuli. I answer via the Bluetooth answering option.

“Hey babe”, me.

“Hey gorgeous. Where are you guys?” She asks.

“We are about ten minutes away”, I say.

“Okay, I’m already here waiting for you guys. Do you me to get us something to eat while I wait?” She says.

This girl. Even Paula is blown away.

“You came to see me off too?” Paula.

“Of course I did. We are friends, right?” Thuli.

Paula is moved, deeply so.

“Thanks so much, T”, Paula.

Even Thuli sounds like she wants to cry.

“Where’s the baby and Tee-le?” I ask. I mean, she did drive from another province. Paula will be admitted in Gauteng. 

“They are at home. Tee-le is staying with her and my mom. Don’t worry, she’s sorted. Paula, what do you want to eat before you go into hibernation?” Thuli.

All three of us laugh at the hibernation part.

“Spur ribs and Buffalo wings, please”, Paula says.

“Okay cool. Let me quickly get us some then I will get back. Maybe I’ll even find you guys here already”, Thuli. She is the one who made us fall in love with Spur by the way.

“We will wait for you before we go in”, I say.

Paula agrees.

“Cool. See you now now”, Thuli.

…

It has been a little over a year since I buried my daughter. Today, I am at home at her graveyard with a bunch of people to unveil her tombstone. Phathudi and I did this together. Our beautiful Phatsima is no more and we still cannot come to terms with it.

Yaya tried to be there for me, but Ndalo, his wife, would hear none of it. She even threatened me at some point and demanded that Yaya never speaks to me again. Just like that, I have never heard from Yaya ever again. I heard that Ndalo is pregnant. Good for them I suppose. But that girl is an absolute bitch. I hate her.

Nomzamo is here though. She is here with Leruo. I like her better than Paula. She makes Leruo so human. Paula is out of people’s reach. She appears to be bigger than most people and wishes to not be found amongst commoners. Zamo is so different. She lives to serve people. She involves Leruo in that. They arrived in Bethlehem two days ago. Leruo has been in blue overalls and has been working, slaughtering and drinking water. He doesn’t touch alcohol whatsoever.

Zamo has been in the kitchen cooking and cleaning about, she was cooking outside where all the drunk aunts are. She didn’t even look down upon them. She entertained them, danced with them, shared in their jokes and served them, treating them as elders. I don’t even do that. My aunts love her.

We are now headed back to the house. Zamo stayed at the house to ensure that food and drinks are ready for when we come back from the graveyard. Leruo was here though, at the graveyard. He looks extremely handsome. People look at him and see a celebrity. He only has eyes for Nomzamo though.

We arrive and Nomzamo finds Leruo first. She has a plate and some juice in her hands. They find a chair. Leruo sits down and Zamo sits on top of him. They look so good together. Zamo has the plate on her one hand and he is eating off it. They seem to be in a deep conversation that’s making them both really upset. They kiss then Zamo makes her way to where I am standing.

“Hey mama”, she greets me.

“Thanks for everything, my love”, I say.

“Anytime, my angel.” She says.

Her smile – priceless.

“Listen love, we have to go. Something urgent has come up that we need to go and attend to”, she says.

“I completely understand, babe”, I say.

“Okay gorgeous. But call me when you are back in Tholoana Kingdom and let’s do lunch just to check in and catch up, yeah?” Her.

“Definitely”, I say.

She runs to Leruo. They hold hands and jog to their car together.

I wonder what’s going on.

…

We have to pack today and drive back to Tholoana Kingdom this evening. Now that Tee-le has retired from soccer, he is going into business full time and putting all his focus on life after soccer. He has interviews upon interviews lined up and he has deals ready for him to arrive and seal. 

I am excited, but nervous to go back to Tholoana Kingdom. Tee-le’s mother practically drove me out of Tholoana Kingdom. I lied to my mom and said I needed her help because I am a first-time mom. Well, it’s not entirely a lie. I do need her. I just left out that my mother-in-law became an absolute nightmare overnight and my husband simply let her. I’m not sure if I’ve forgiven Tee-le for that. We need to talk. This shit can never happen again. Next time, I’ll tell my mother and my brother that I’m actually mad at him and he will not be allowed to even stay at my home.

“Good morning”, he says as he wakes up and finds me already breastfeeding our daughter, Khumo.

“Morning”, me.

He gets up and kisses my cheek. He can sense that I’m not 100% present in his romance. He gets out of bed and stretches his body. He wears a t-shirt and longer pants then makes his way to the toilet. He comes back as I try to make Khumo burp. The house is still asleep. He closes the door and sits on the side of the bed, next to me.

“Are we good?” He asks me.

“No Tee-le, we are not good. I don’t want to have issues with your mother, but she was out of line. You clearly saw nothing wrong with it because you just let her drive me out of our house”, I tell him.

“Baby, she was really trying to help.” He says.

I’m actually going to make Tee-le go back to Tholoana Kingdom alone.

“I know that she can get a bit much, but she means well”, he keeps saying.

“Remoletile, please don’t drive me crazy. What about treating me like shit is her meaning well? What about forgetting that I am Khumo’s mother is her meaning well? She lived to piss me off and you saw it. I even told you about it.” I say.

He is quiet.

“Maybe you should go back to Tholoana Kingdom by yourself.” I say.

He looks at me like he wants to cry.

“Baby, the two of you are my family. Do you think I wanted to come here and stay in your mother’s house? This was uncomfortable for me. I couldn’t even fuck you to ease the discomfort. But I’m here because I love you. I’m here because you come first. I’m here because you are my family”, he says.

I chuckle. I can’t help it. I can imagine how uncomfortable this has been for him. Shame man. He smiles. He can see that he is winning.

“Let’s go home, my love. Please baby. Mama has gone back to Sebokeng. It will just be the three of us. With everything going on with our friends right now, we have a lot to be thankful for. I don’t want us to compromise what we have over some dumb shit that’s not even worth us arguing. Please baby. I don’t want to be away from you and Khumo”, he says.

Okay, he’s got me. Ja no, between the drama with Renay and Paula, I have a lot to be thankful for. I’d take a crazy mother-in-law over an unfaithful husband any day.

“How are they?” He asks me. He is slick this one. Now, he’s removing the attention off him? I see him, but I answer his question.

I shake my head then say, “Renay is hurt. She loves Shack. Not being with him does not make her happy, but she is so hurt and embarrassed by all of this. I don’t know if she will get over this. Paula yena… Leruo wasn’t even there to see her off to the psychiatric centre. That was just the last straw for her. I think she is going to file for a divorce.” I say.

“Divorce baby?” Him, truly hurt.

“Does he deserve any less? He clearly doesn’t love her”, I say.

“Don’t say that. The Tloung family is deep within polygamy. Paula knew that when she married Leruo. He loves more than one woman. It doesn’t mean he loves her less”, Tee-le says.

“Then why is he never there for her and with her anymore?” Me.

“He is still adjusting to the changes in his life and this polygamy thing. He doesn’t have years of experience like his dad. He will get it right eventually”, he says.

“And while he figures it out, Paula must just suffer and deal with it?” Me.

“I think divorce is a bit extreme. They can still fix this”, he says.

“At what expense? Paula’s mental health?” Me.

He is quiet.

He takes Khumo from me and holds her. He draws me closer to him and cuddles me too.

“It will never be us, right? Promise me that it will never be us. Divorce? You and I are forever”, he says.

“That’s my wish too, my love. But it will take both of us to make sure that we get to forever together. We both have a part to play. I’m prepared to play mine”, I say.

“And I promise you baby, I will play mine.” He says.

“Start with putting your mom in her place”, I say.

He laughs. I chuckle too, but I’m serious.

“Come baby, let’s get ready to hit the road. I don’t want us to leave too late.” I say.

We kiss and get the day started.

…

It’s been a crazy year. Somewhere along the way, I missed my injection date by a week. I had to take a pregnancy test before getting the injection and I found out that I was pregnant. Khanyisa was the first person I told. I did not know if I were ready to be a mother as yet. I sat with the secrecy of this pregnancy for two months. Khanyisa and I then told Kazi and she dealt with my dad as far as bringing him up to speed. Surprisingly, my dad took it very well. He was so happy, he shocked us all. I think seeing him that happy made me want to keep the baby. That night, I told Rea about the pregnancy. He had paid lobola before we even went for our first scan. At our first scan, we learned that we were having twins. IMAGINE! 

We then had our traditional weddings. It was so beautiful. I still look at our pictures and am filled with so much excitement. Khanyisa was obviously my maid-of-honour. There’s no question about that. Mohato was his best man. There’s a massive A0 photograph of Rea, Mohato, Khanyi and I in the living room of our home. My dad has come a long way, I tell you. The royal family is very excited as well about our union and it’s nice. 

I gave birth to my twins last month. My parents let us come stay with them to help us with the kids. Even Rea is living here, guys. It’s been a positive year for the most part. On the downside, Kazi’s dad – our grandfather – passed away. He was sick very briefly then he just passed. 

A kiss brings me out of thoughts. I smile at him. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asks me as he sits on a couch next to me. We are in my bedroom. Mohau, one of our twins, is fast asleep. Mulalo is very much awake. He just refuses to sleep. We gave one twin a SeSotho name and the other a TshiVenda name. We made the decision together and we stuck with it – though his family protested against Mulalo. He stuck up for me and defended me. They are both Mohales, so I don’t know what the issue is. Mohau means mercy and Mulalo means peace. I hope they’ll grow up to be this way. 

“Just how much our lives have changed in this past year”, I say.

“It’s been crazy. But I wouldn’t trade it in for anything.” He says. 

“Do you think today will go well?” He asks me. 

I’m also very nervous. His family is coming to see the twins today. They’ll be meeting them for the first time. The twins are a month old now. I gave birth in South Africa because we knew that we’d want to be here with my family when the twins were born. The Mohales haven’t forgiven me for that decision, but I’m comforted that they will be on my turf today and I know I can trust Kazi to defend me to the end of the world. 

“We will get through it, babe.” I say. 

There’s a knock on my bedroom door. 

“Come in”, Rea says. 

Khanyisa walks in. 

“He’s still sleeping?” She’s asking about Mohau. 

Rea laughs.

“Yes, he’s still sleeping.” I say.

“Well, he has to wake up. The Mohales are here. So, can I take him?” She says. 

Rea and I look at each other. 

Khanyi realises that we are nervous. She then says, “It’s going well so far downstairs. They are not fighting. Kazi is making them tea and papa is quite pleasant. Zari is also here and she’s pacing around the kitchen with Kazi and I.” 

We nod our heads. 

“So, I’m taking Mohau. Papa is still in the main bedroom with Mulalo. I’m going to get that twin too.” She says. 

We nod our heads. 

She comes in and takes Mohau. But Mohau just loves his sleep. There could be a bomb and he will still sleep. The one who hates sleep is our daughter, Mulalo. She will cry her lungs out when she feels sleepy. This one just sleeps shame. 

Khanyi takes Mohau then leaves our room. 

We look at each, take a deep breath, hold hands and make our way downstairs. 

Kazi (in her black jeans, black plain t-shirt, black loafer) is looking HOT! She is dressed super simple, but she looks so nice. Papa is also here wearing black tracksuit pants, a white t-shirt and his sleepers. Rea is wearing tracksuit pants as well and a black t-shirt. He wears sleepers too. Khanyi and I are wearing dresses and sleepers. Today is just a chilled day for us. Kazi cooked PROPER! There is a whole buffet set up on the patio. I hope this doesn’t get awkward. 

Rea and I greet everyone that is here with hugs and handshakes. Morena brought his first wife with him – mofomahadi. She probably bullied the other two into staying in their places. You’d swear they don’t exist. The only person who speaks to them is morena. The only person who sees them in their capacity as his wives and mothers to his other children is morena. I’ve only met them once and we were delivering something at their houses. Mofomahadi kept them away from our wedding. 

Mme Remo is also here. She’s nice. I like her the most. I actually chat to her more. She’s the one I sent pictures of the twins to. So we hug the longest and we even chat a bit. Khanyi likes her too. Khanyi gives Mohau to her. Papa gave Mulalo to morena because he really doesn’t like Ntate Khotso. 

Mme Remo, after greeting and chatting to sleeping Mohau – I don’t know how this boy is still sleeping in such noise… maybe I must take him to a doctor and make sure that everything is okay – she hands Mohau to Ntate Khotso. Ntate Khotso receives Mohau so nicely… getting emotional almost. We all look at morena and HRH Khotso bond with the twins. Mohato is also moved at the sight before him, holding onto Zari’s hand. I hope they are planning for one at least. 

Morena and HRH speak to my boys, reciting their clan names. Mme-mofomahadi Kea walks in. I didn’t know she came too. She briefly greets us all, then she goes to her sons. She hugs Rea and I, congratulating us, then focuses on the twins I birthed. She sits down. Morena and HRH Khotso give her the babies. Now she also recites the clan names to them. Mohau is finally awake. 

“You’ve done well”, she says to Rea and I. Rea holds me. I just smile. 

Kazi and papa are hugging each other and are smiling from ear to ear. 

“They are perfect”, Morena says. 

“That means you need to stop making babies now. You are a grandfather”, mofomahadi says. Only she would say that.

We all kinda chuckle. I mean, why would she say that in front of everyone? She carries too much resentment everywhere she goes. She’s bullied the other two wives enough. Now she wants to bully morena too? 

“I hope Reahile and Rofhiwa are not too much trouble, Mr and Mrs Ramaru”, Mme-mofomahadi says. 

“Not at all. We love having a full house”, Kazi says. 

Mme-mofomahadi nods her head then says, “You’ve done well, Fikile. I’m proud of you.” 

“Thank you, Mme-mofomahadi”, Kazi says. 

Papa is scratching his head and HRH Khotso is staring at Kazi longer than he should. 

“When are you guys coming to Tholoana Kingdom? We need to introduce the twins to the Mohale ancestors”, Morena says.

“We were thinking when they turn three months old”, Rea says. 

“Why? Isn’t it bad enough that their cords fell here and not at the royal house? These are Mohale children”, Morena. 

“We didn’t bury them here”, Rea says. 

“We are not planning on burying them at all.” Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy… even papa and Kazi. 

“What are you going to do with it?” Morena asks me. 

I don’t want to answer them now. 

“Rofhiwa, we bury cords in our tradition. As a Mohale bride, you are expected to adhere to that. These twins are Mohale twins. They’ll be buried with mine and Khotso’s cords.” He says. 

“But Rea’s and Mo’s cords are not buried there and there’s nothing wrong with them”, I say. 

Morena wants to beat me up! But it’s my father who intervenes instead, embarrassing me and says, “Rofhiwa! Your father-in-law asked you a question. What are you going to do with the cords?” 

I mumble, “We were going to frame it”. 

“ROFHIWA! WA PENGA?! Where have you ever seen that happen?!” My dad is shouting now. 

“Thomas, Hai bo.” Kazi. 

Papa turns around and looks at Morena and HRH Khotso. Then he asks them, “When do you need them in Tholoana Kingdom to conclude all your rituals?” 

“Yesterday!” Morena says. 

“They’ll leave with you when you leave tonight”, papa. 

“Papa!” Me. 

“You are a married woman, Rofhiwa! If you don’t know what that means, tell me now so I can return all the Mohale cows back to their kraal and teach you what being married means!” 

I suddenly feel like crying. 

Why isn’t Rea saying anything?! I look at him and he’s not even looking at me. His family seems impressed with Papa. 

“Can we all make our way to the patio to have lunch?” Kazi says. 

“Thank you. Can I help you with anything?” Mme Remo offers. 

“Just the drinks, thanks. You can follow me to the kitchen”, Kazi.

Mofomahadi rolls her eyes. 

…

We arrived at the royal house last night. I came with Fifi for support. I come here so often that I know my way around here. And I usually come with Fifi because shame, she doesn’t know how to do a lot of things. So, I do them with gogo Kea. I find her to be the coolest person in this house – her and Mme-Remo. But I generally get along with everyone. 

It’s 5am and I’m up with staff around here. There’s a lot of staff shame. Mulalo’s cry woke me up. That child hates sleep. Yoh. 

So, I’m feeding her her bottle now as I sit in the TV room. 

“I heard you were in the Kingdom“, a text comes through my phone. 

Who told this fool that I’m here? It’s probably Mohale. He’s very forward that one, him and his boyfriend. Yes, he’s very gay. 

I don’t reply to the text.  

He decides to phone me. 

I’m not going to pick up the phone. He needs to leave me alone and attend a lecture. 

He calls me again then I just switch off my phone. 

I help Mulalo burp then she and I hang out. 

At 7am, we are all having breakfast. Morena has Mulalo with him and HRH Khotso has Mohau with him. I’m helping Fifi serve everyone at the table. The table is nice and festive. Even Fifi is smiling a lot more today. She was very depressed when we were driving here. 

“Khanyisa, Khabane is looking for you. He says you are not responding to his messages and your phone is off.” Mohale says. 

Everyone at the table keeps quiet and looks at me, ready to laugh. 

“Tell him to read between the lines. I’m not interested.” I say. 

Everyone bursts into laughter. 

“Look, he’s phoning me now”, Mohale says mid-laughter. 

“Why did you tell him I’m here? And I know it’s you that told him”, I say. I’m also giggling.

“Why don’t you like him? He’s a nice guy”, Rena says.

“I’m not interested in him. He’s not my type.” I say. 

“Yooooooooohhhhh!” Everyone says then laughs harder. 

I’m also laughing. 

Fifi and I finally sit down and eat. 

“Khanyi, what’s your type? Khabane already has a business – a petrol station – and he’s in school. So, you’ll be set for the rest of your life”, Tholoana says. 

Moloko brings his plate to me. This is his way of asking me to feed him. I like him. He’s a cutie and we vibe. He’s six years old and generally acts like a big boy. But everyone says he becomes a baby all over again when I’m around. I take his plate, put him on my lap and feed him while I eat. I catch HRH Khotso smiling at us. 

I answer Tholoana and say, “The fact that that’s the one thing I must know about him before I get to know anything else about him makes him uninteresting to me. I’m not fazed by his money. I don’t care for it. I have money too. I’m not a prostitute for money. I need to know who he is outside of his flashy car, flashy apartment and money drip. I’ve known this guy for three years now and that’s still all I know about him – and that he’s a stalker because I have no idea how he has my number.”

Everyone nods their head while really taking in what I’m saying. Mofomahadi is glued to her cellphone. She’s not participating in this convo at all. 

“You have a good head on your shoulders. Maboko and Tebza will definitely love you for Khabane. But also, I can see why Khabane is so into you. There’s a lot of Tebza in you.” HRH Khotso says. 

“Sis’Tebza is a really nice lady. I like her a lot. Ruri is also all that and more. Khabane must give himself a chance before I give him a chance. If all he sees is money when he looks into the mirror, then he can stay away from me thanks. He must use that money to buy a personality.” 

“Yoooooooooooohhhhhhh!” Laughter again. 

But I actually mean it. 

“What time are we doing the ceremony?” Mofomahadi asks. 

“Tomorrow morning before sunrise”, Mme-mofomahadi says. 

“Rofhiwa, have you and Rea been abstaining?” Mofomahadi asks. 

Rea coughs. Morena and HRH Khotso giggle. 

“Excuse me?” Fifi.

“You can’t make mqombothi if you’ve been having sex.” Mofomahadi. Must she be so – 

“Khanyisa will help me”, Fifi says. 

Now we all know they’ve been having sex. They better not make another child. In case they haven’t noticed, their kids come in twos.  

Mofomahadi shakes her head at them. 

“Khanyisa and I will make it. I don’t know why you are shaking your head at a married woman. It’s not like you and Remo have been abstaining neither”, Mme-mofomahadi my fighter! 

Then there was silence. Why isn’t anyone saying, “Yooooooooooooohhhhhh!”?

I’m in the pantry starting the mqombothi. That’s where Mme-mofomahadi and I always make it. Fifi and the twins are sleeping. She hasn’t been feeling well today, so I told her to sleep. I have her back. I’m here for her anyway and for as long as I’m here, her duties are fulfilled. I face-timed with Kazi and papa earlier today. I was with Fifi. They say they miss us. Papa just misses the twins. I joked and said I’ll make him a grandchild too and THE LOOK HE GAVE ME! 

“You are stunning, you know that?” The fool creeps up on me. 

I don’t even look at him. I carry on with what I’m doing. 

“I missed class to come and see you. Are you really not going to talk to me?” He says. 

I can feel him smiling like the fool he is. I refuse to look at him and I’ll tell you why… he’s a good-looking man. He smells soooooo good! He is deliciously tall. His hair is a locked afro that fades – almost like Thingo. He’s a man – a fine one too. But I don’t need him to know that I think that. He wreaks of entitlement and he comes across as a guy who thinks he can buy as many girls as he wants. So even if I start dating him, it will not be on his terms. Besides, Kazi promised me umemulo if I’m still a virgin at twenty-one. I have four years to go. I’m imagining all that money being given to me for being intombi-nto! No man is worth me risking cash money like that.

“Khanyi”, he has his hand on my shoulder now.

“Please don’t touch me”, I say. 

“Can you please look at me then so we can talk?” He says.

“I have to finish lo mqombothi. I don’t think the Mohale ancestors would appreciate you distracting me while I’m making them their traditional beer”, I say. 

He actually laughs. 

And angihlekisi njani… 

“Fine… I’ll wait for you.” He says. 

Mxm! 

I’ve just finished making umqombothi. Gogo Kea is helping me take the bucket to the ancestors’ rondavel. Staff would help, but this one is for the family only. I guess I’m recognized as one of them because I do it all the time and it still brews. They see me. 

Mohato and Reahile see gogo and I struggling with this massive bucket and they come take it from us. It takes two of them to carry it there. 

“Khanyi, please go with Khabane to get some grass mats?” Gogo says. 

I look at her. I feel like she’s setting me up. She catches on and she starts laughing. Then she says, “He’s a good boy, hle. Just give him a chance – even if it’s just to be your friend.” 

I just roll my eyes. 

Khabane is driving and I’m sitting in his passenger seat. He drives a white Jeep Grand Cherokee. It has black leather interior. It’s nice. He’s wearing black Adidas tracksuit pants, a black Adidas t-shirt and slops with socks. Thingo dresses like this sometimes. 

“Your car is nice”, I say just to initiate conversation. 

“Thank you.” He says. 

I look out the window. 

“So, you think I don’t have a personality and all there is to me is money?” 

MOHALE!!!! He’s worse than umakhelwane ohamb’ethuth’ indaba! Ha!

“I feel like I don’t know you outside of the money that you flaunt everywhere.” I say. 

“Why don’t you ask me what you want to know instead of saying that my money makes you disinterested in me?” 

“Mohale talks too much, let me just put that out there”, I say. 

He seems offended. 

“And you are right, I should’ve said something and I didn’t. I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you for your apology.” 

I nod my head and look out the window. 

“So, what do you want to know about me?” He asks me. 

“Let’s start with… what do the first thirty days in a relationship with you typically look like for a girl?” I ask.

“Is this an interview? What kind of a question is that?” 

I roll my eyes. 

Then he says, “A relationship with you would be different to a relationship I’ve had with any other person.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you are you. I’d want you purely laughing and smiling for the first ten days – no compromise in that. Then on day eleven, I’d take you to the apartment that my parents first bought together. That’s where I was conceived, that’s where their relationship was truly tested and that’s where they decided to fix things after eight years of being apart and choose each other all over again. I’d want us to buy that apartment together from them just so it could be where we go when we need to be reminded to choose each other because the world has got the better of us.”

“Just because it worked for your parents it doesn’t mean it will work for us. Those are their memories, not ours.” 

“You are right. But their story inspires me. It’s the kind of story that happens once in a lifetime… enchanted almost. The energy in there is just perfect. I don’t know how to explain it… but I’d be reminded in there of what’s important when it comes to love.” 

I nod my head.

“Then on day fifteen, I’d take you on a date. It would be a five-day date that would be dedicated to me unveiling myself to you. Day twenty to twenty-five, I’d ask you to take me on a date that would give me an opportunity to get to know you better. By day thirty, I’d be introducing you to my parents.” He says. 

“You introduce all your girlfriends to your parents?” 

“Have you met my mother and my sister? Teboho Seete and Ruri Seete would have me dumped in five minutes.” 

I actually laugh at this. 

His cellphone rings.

“Can I take this?” He asks me. How polite.

“Sure”, I say. 

He answers his phone using the hands-free option. 

“Mama”. 

“Bane, where are you?” 

“Driving to town. Koko-Kea sent us to get grass mats.” 

“Us?” 

“I’m with Khanyisa.” 

She giggles. I wonder. 

“Are we on speaker?” The dad asks. 

“Yep. And we can hear you laughing.” Khabane says. 

Now they laugh. 

“Listen Monna, I need you to go fetch a tent from the warehouse and pitch it at the royal house for tomorrow. Your mom and I are on our way there with Ruri. You’ll find us there.” The dad.

“Okay sure.” 

“The tent has to be up before sunset.” The dad. 

“We’ll hurry up with the grass mats. I promise.” Khabane. 

“Okay. If you get stuck, tell us.” The dad. 

“I will, pops. Shup.” 

“Sho.”

Ja neh.

…

“Nyakallo! Atile! Come downstairs, please!” I yell for my kids to come downstairs where I am. I’ve just packed their bags and their father should be here to fetch them any time. 

My five-year-old son and my four year old daughter come running down the stairs. They are so beautiful. They are the best part of my life. Honestly. 

They hug me and I embrace the both of them. 

“Are you guys okay?” I ask them. 

“Yes.” Atile says. He’s my boy.

“Nyakallo? Are you good, mama?” I ask my daughter.

“Yes.” She says. 

“Good. You guys know that I’m your best friend, right? And if anything is wrong, you talk to me. Right?” I say.

They nod their heads. 

“So, daddy is coming to pick you guys up. You remember that you guys have to go and welcome your nephew and niece?” 

They giggle. 

“Do you like being an Auntie and an uncle?” I ask them. They laugh. This is too wild for them. 

“But you’ll also see all your brothers and sister”, I say. 

They seem excited. 

I’m Ona’s second wife. My name is Sonia Mohale. I’m a businesswoman… a force really. Maybe that’s why Thabi hates me so much. Compared to her, I’m actually a catch and Ona did not cheat on her with me by mistake. I own a technology business that consults for private companies and the government. 

Ona and I met and vibed. Obviously, there was sex involved and that’s how Atile came about. Thabi tried to keep me a secret but failed to keep her husband coming home in the process. Then Nyakallo happened and the bitch was forced to not keep me a secret anymore. Besides, she wasn’t popping kids for him. Someone else had to. Then she “allowed” Ona to marry me. 

But I knew who Ona was from day one. When he married his third wife, Setati, I wasn’t as touched as Thabi was. She almost lost her mind. Setati is always in and out of psychiatric hospitals and she allows Thabi to bully the shit out of her. She’s actually a housewife. If we were friends, I’d tell her to get a life and not make Ona her whole life. That’s one way to not let Thabi get to you. 

“Daddy!” My kids yell and I know Ona is here. 

He catches them and plays with them, embracing them. He’s a great dad. He loves his kids and I love that about him. 

Then he comes to me. He kisses me and we hug. 

“Hello baby”, he greets me. 

“Hello handsome. How are you?” 

“I’m good. I’m picking all of you up.” 

I look at him. Is he crazy? Thabi and I do not belong in the same space. 

“You have to be there. These are your grandsons too.” He says and I cannot help but burst into laughter. 

He laughs too. 

“Tell me, what about Setati? Will she be there?” 

He nods his head. 

“You really want all that drama this weekend for our grandkids? You know Thabi will flip.” 

“I’ve spoken to her. She’ll be on her best behaviour.” He says.

“HELLLOOOOO!!!” My girl walks through the door and yells.

“Auntieee!!!” My babies receive her well. 

“Hello my babies”, she says.

She walks into the TV room and finds Ona and I chilling. 

“Hey guys”, she says.

“Where’s Legoa?” Ona asks her. 

“Really? Say hello first. She’s Letlali, not Zithu’s plus one.” I say.

Tlali greets us and hugs us. 

“I’m here to fetch you, babe. I know you need back up for the royal house tomorrow.” She says.

I pull a face. 

“Please tell her that she has to be there. She doesn’t want to go”, Ona says. 

“I’m here for you, girl. You know that she’s not talking to me anymore neither”, Tlali says. 

“Because of me?” I ask. 

“Yeah. She thinks I hooked the two of you up”, she says. 

“What?!” Ona. 

“She knows that you and I have been friends for a while. So instead of being loyal to her, I helped her man cheat. That’s her narrative of what happened.” 

“That’s crazy. Baby, you need to get your wife. She’s out of control.” 

Ona is just quiet. 

…

The ceremony went well this morning. There were no signs of the Mohales being upset with anyone. In fact, it rained. It’s still raining. So, it’s blessings upon blessings and we are thankful. 

I’m now in the pantry washing animal intestines.

Rofhiwa’s mother joins me. Her name is Fikile, I believe. 

I know her from the business sphere of life. She’s a beast in the game and her husband is a real one. Ona and I could easily be a Thomas and Fikile Ramaru… but there’s Thabi and Setati. 

“Hello”, she greets me with a smile.

“Hello granny.” I say. 

“You mean glammy honey”, she says. 

We laugh. 

“Why are you here by yourself?” She asks me. 

“I’m avoiding the queen at all costs.” I say.

“She is a bit hectic. But I guess dealing with her as a sister-wife is a whole new different ball game.” She says as she rolls up her sleeves and starts helping me with these intestines. 

“I don’t really pay her any mind. I just stay away and mind the business that pays me. Thabi is not it.” 

She just laughs.

“Is being here weird for you?” I ask her. I don’t know how else to ask it. 

But she’s not even offended. She just says, “I’ve had great times in this house. But I’ve also had the times and moments that made me walk away and never look back. I’m thankful for all those times though, because I wouldn’t have what I have right now if it weren’t for the good and the bad times.” 

That’s beautiful. 

“I want to be able to say that about Ona one day.” I say. 

“You married him”, she says. 

“Yeah. But if I’m being honest, it was more to piss off Thabi than anything else.”

She laughs and I laugh too. 

“I don’t know, man. He’s great, truly he is. He’s an amazing father. He is a great lover. Being loved by Ona Mohale is a priceless experience. But I want to be able to do that out loud. I don’t want to be hidden and only love him out loud when Thabi permits me to do so. I want to be proud of being his wife and show him off as my husband and the father of my kids. He’s not the king to me. He’s my husband. With the way that things are, I feel so robbed of love with a man that’s truly for me.” I say. 

“You should’ve thought about that before you opened your legs for a married man”, Thabi. Where did she come from? 

Fikile immediately leaves what she’s doing and stands between us, pushing me back and away from Thabi because she seems slightly drunk. She’s crazy when she’s sober. What more when she’s drunk?

“You gossip about me now? I didn’t take a husband from you. You are the one that disrespected me and fucked my husband. Where do you get off saying that I’m robbing you of real love? Bitch, you gave him kids when I couldn’t. And you wouldn’t stop. It was one bastard child after another, knowing very well that Ona would never turn his back on his kids. You seduced him with your thighs and lured him with kids. I’m the one who has to deal with the shame that led him to you concubine with the shame that came from yours and Setati’s existence in our lives. And I’m the one that robbed you?!” 

Now people are here and they are watching this. Including Ona. 

“You don’t get to talk about me, bitch! I’ll fucken kill you! We both know he don’t fuck you 24/7 so he ain’t protecting you 24/7.” 

When she’s drunk, she speaks like an American Gangster. 

“Keep my name out your fucken mouth, bitch! I’m not just the first wife around here, I’m your queen! Figuratively and literally! I’ll more than just banish you! If you don’t know your place, I’ll remove you from this place all together!” 

“Thabi, stop this!” Ona. 

“HAI! VOKOF WENA! You are the one that has disrespected me the most. You fetched businesswoman of the year because she had babies, then you fetched crazy Setati who’ll probably kill herself any day from now. A man like you drives a woman like that crazy. And you still fucked her and married her? Look at me, Ona! Look at me! I’m a catch! I’m a fuckensurgeon! I’m gorgeous. I actually come from a royal family. Of all these bitches you’ve dragged into this house just because they could make you babies, I’m the one you shouldn’t disrespect because I make you the king that you are! I hide your shit that shames the Mohale name. I mother all of your babies no matter how I feel about their mothers. And just do a damn good job at a government level. I’m the best PR you’ll ever have and you know it! But I’m rendered disrespect-able just because I’m not a professional baby-making machine?” 

There’s silence. 

I’m officially embarrassed. 

She drinks her wine from the bottle then walks out of the kitchen yelling, “Leng tlwayela masepa lo na boMohale! But hey… All hail to you, those of you who are born to the Mohale name.”

“Are you okay?” Fikile asks me. 

“Please excuse me”, I say.

As I charge outside, Ona tries to stop me. 

“Sonia-

“No, fuck you! You let that bitch disrespect me like that? In front of everyone here? Seriously?”

“Baby-

“Onaleruna Mohale, don’t you EVER bring me around that drunk skank that cannot control her drinking EVER AGAIN!” 

I take my kids and just leave this damn place.

FUCK!